Description: Pukai does her dutiful work at the Vatican grounds, she uncovers a trail of feathers. She quickly finds a distraught Dizzy, hiding from the rest of the Sacred Order, trying to change herself into fitting in with her human companions. The gentle jellyfish girl works to calm down the upset Command Gear, and teaches her that she is not alone.
The word had gone out by Leo Whitefang.
Their guest, Dizzy, was to be given her freedom to walk and explore. If she attempts to leave the grounds? The orders were clear: you must inform Leo Whitefang or Ky Kiske immediately. To ask her to remain but do not attempt to physically restrain her. Everyone was informed, of course, and normally the order going out would be of some concern. She was emotional, yes, crying and flying away. And there was that apprehension that she was ultimately going to do something rash. But nothing has happened, nothing terrible.
Except it's been a day since she's been in her garden.
No one has seen her, since her outburst at Leo's office. Has she escaped? Was she hiding? A low alert was rising amongst the acolytes and adepts, to try and find any clues on her whereabouts. The orders before remained; don't escalate, and try and calm her down and keep her in one place... while alerting Leo and Ky. It's been one hour, then two since the alert. But if one truly wanted to find Dizzy...
One could just follow the feathers, if they were looking.
Dizzy didn't bother to hide her trail, leading up to the facade of the bell tower at the St. Peter's Basilica. Technically, it was still on the Vatican grounds. Technically, it was a public area, where tourists could go. But it was closed off for renovations that were still in progress; waiting for winter to end before continuing. And yet, the door lock was broken, smashed apart, with the door just ajar. Up the stairs, the trail of black and white feathers cascade down and blows through and around.
An obvious clue, if you weren't looking for crows and swans.
A low alert still demanded concern, especially when it was due to a guest that had slowly began to grow more permanent. The fact that the majority present in the city could simply cease to exist based on the woman's actions is clearly known. It was no surprise that a few may have even stated that. Yet it was, in her slow and careful floating abut of chores, that Pukai would come across a feather. A bird, perhaps? Then another, black one. A crow?
There is no thought process immediately, eyes staring blankly as she did her job in the most efficient way possible. Following the trail of feathers - until the amount of them bundling together in a sack began to grow. Eyes blink twice, pupils widening as she comes to, head tilting as she thought about it.
Soon, boots would strike stair after stair in a slow climb, her first duty abandoned while she focused upon a more important one. Step after step, the form of the Sacred Order Knight would begin to emerge into the colder air about the top. A hand would grasp the broken lock before letting it fall once more, to clatter down the stairwell as she moved upwards. It was a decently long climb. One that doesn't seem to bother Pukai all too much. It was just another test of faith.
"Hello?" The voice would come before she would, "Would anyone be up here? I imagine it's dusty and a tad dirty, since I have not been able to make rounds for now." It was likely Dizzy. Or was it a scandalous affair?! Which is more likely why she spoke up ahead of time. The hat about the 'bulb' atop her head covers it well, though the translucent dress over her uniform is more of a reversal, the short knight striding up to look around.
Pukai's approach would share more facts.
The soft crying, the murmuring, and the feathers falling down the stairs could be the fist suggestion. The ambiguity of whether it was a tryst or something else still up in the air; the worst case scenario is if it was BOTH, really. And yet, as Pukai pushes her way up, the feathers only get thicker and thicker, going from a sprinkling to a full carpeting. By the time she reaches the top of the bell tower, it was a sea of feathers, thick to the ankles. The entire upper area was covered with the feathers, on top of being quite dusty AND quite dirty. It was a filthy place to have a romantic encounter, in fact. And in the middle of it? The command gear herself, staring across at Pukai as she rises, a tear down her cheek. "Go away!" Dizzy states, with a sob.
Fistfuls of her own feathers in her hands.
The blue haired girl had her hair down, her ribbons strewn around. She was still garbed in the nightgown of the Sacred Order laymen; she had preferred that over her skimpy wear since Southtown. Her wings were around her, still as full as they ever were. And yet, she lets the feathers fall away from her hands, before she pulls away another fistful of feathers. "I'm not- I'm not normal yet." She says haltingly, trying to explain to... herself? To Pukai? "I need to be normal, Pukai." Was her explanation, looking across with her burning red eyes.
"I don't want to be different anymore."
Trudging upwards, the tendrils about her dress would begin to automatically cling and clutch feathers, bits and pieces being caught and 'pulled', trapped to her until she released or pried them free. Never fully free of the curse, no matter how much she had learned to control it. Her footfalls aren't too fast. Methodically she still rises, balance something she takes for granted as she parts the feathery sea. When her head, pops out - it's a bit feathery as well.
"By the goddess..." She decries, gently. Ribbons were strewn around, but even in the dirty area, she stayed rather clothed. Wings about her beind abused by her, grasping feather after feather and tearing them out. Her claims are clear. She's not normal. Pukai doesn't speak as she finishes the movement. Tendrils curling up with feathers, as if to eat them, if it were even possible. It's a natural response. It makes her have a fancy tail.
Not that she wanted one, or to eat them, but it is impossible to have everything you want.
With a smile, she moves not too far from Dizzy, throwing herself backwards onto a ledge, legs hanging - and grasps one of her own tendrils. She stretches it, the translucent color lighting up in an attempt to razzle and dazzle a predator under duress. She lets it go after, the wounded tendril coiling up to repair. "I tried it too. They all grew back." Pukai's smile remains, legs kicking idly, boot clad as they were.
"All it does it make you hurt as much outside as inside. Why would you like to do that?"
Dizzy had something like this with her wings.
Necro and Undine comforted her, they tried to calm her down. Well, Undine tried to calm her down. Necro's contribution was basically the same argument he always made: kill them all, and you would be safe. But Dizzy didn't -feel- better. Because after she was done? Nothing changed. She.. .she didn't want to talk to her wings. She wanted to hurt them. She wanted to vent on someone else.
And Pukai was the one.
She stares at the tendril, as it is ripped out. She... she felt that Pukai wasn't a human. That she was like her villagers. And instinctively, she begins to open up, her eyes entranced by the dancing translucents and feathers. "Because," Dizzy begins, trying to form her thoughts together. "Because when I was in the village, I didn't have to be around the villagers all the time. I liked being alone sometimes, I felt comfortable being alone. But when I needed to be around the villagers, I could, and I would feel like a part of the family."
"And what am I here?"
"I am ruining everything. I'm being a dumb and foolish monster who tries to help, and just screws things up more. I'm not fitting in; I don't feel close to anybody, Pukai. I feel like a freak. I- and they will be looking for me. They want to find me, Pukai. I'm not welcomed here, I'm not welcomed anywhere. Not as long as I have these awful wings..." She pushes her wings back, the tips grazing on Pukai's own tendrils. She reaches around herself, and grabs her naked tail, unribboned and exposed. She tries to squeeze it in her hand.
"And this ugly tail too!"
She gives a heaving sob, as... as she just lets go, to bury her face into her hands. "I should hurt. I deserve it. All these humans have done so much to be so kind to me, and I just abuse it. THey don't want me here, they just want to protect me. And I just... I just abuse it. And I can't control myself, Pukai." She halts for a moment.
"... Do you ever feel the same way, Pukai?"
It hurt. The tendrils were warning systems, but none of them more than a faint nerve bound to react. It was a momentary pain that would replace itself, unlike something more important. At least, she didn't know. If she was even somewhat human still, it would work like that. It wasn't certain.
The question asked, no movement comes of Pukai, tendrils and feet hanging down, dangling, as Dizzy explains it all. Her concerns. Her sadness. Her anger and frustration. Eyes do not glaze over so much as they simply watch, the woman prone a bit to doing so - seeming to lose herself in moments between the ticks of the clock. Each word reaches her ears and she hears them - so focused she seems to be staring into space.
Another negative, actually, she has come to accept.
The wings graze on her tendrils, Pukai's eyes opening wide once more from the dormant state. "No." She, suggests, as she claims about the awful wings. The ugly tail, "No." And again, Dizzy makes a claim. "No." Until she asks that question. Taking a black feather, she takes a seperate white feather, and presses them tip to tip.
"I still do." Is Pukai's answer, as she places those feather about her ears - or behind them. Ish.
"Mmmhmm~, I remember when I became like this! I was dragged out of bed and sentenced to death~." Pukai remembers, kicking off and standing. "Oh, but the Goddess gave me a second chance. It is through her will that I stand here, and likely why she sent me to you." Her arms spread wide before clasping fingers, interlacing them with her own hands. With another smile, she leans forwards, hands at her hips, "You're never going to hide yourself, even if you rip away everything. So do not." Dizzy is right, she might be what she claims. "You are not a monster, either. Unless you want to be one... but you shouldn't." She backs up a little, striding back a bit.
Dizzy is indeed frightening - yet Pukai apparently lacks such care around a potential nuclear bomb. "If you should hurt, hurt yourself by helping others. If you are not welcome, open your arms to strangers. If you are not in control, ... is it then, the people who hurt you, who are?" She asks, tendrils about her, coated with feathers, wrapping about Dizzy to potential try to place them back, or hug her. Maybe both.
"...We're not alone anymore, y'know. We're both here."
Dizzy draws in a deep breath, as the tension in the tower rises.
Not the pressure, no, there wasn't that inevitable pressure that normally came when she felt threatened. She didn't feel threatened. And her wings... her wings didn't feel any danger from Pukai either. Maybe because of her slow and unreactive stance, that she seemed passive. Or maybe it was the fact that... Dizzy didn't need them at the moment. Undine and Necro's presence we missing.
And in it's place, was a deeper, inner hurt.
As Pukai explains... what happened to her? Dizzy actually gasps. Dragged out of bed, and sentence to death? "Those... those awful humans! Thank goodness the Sacred Order saved you!" She responded, unaware or simply not connecting how long Pukai was here. She trusted the Sacred Order. Dizzy was calming down. Because... because of the goddess, and because Pukai was... was sharing how she did it. She offers a hug, with those nice friendly tentacles?
Dizzy takes it.
She moves forward, to hug Pukai back. "I..." She begins... "I just don't know what to do anymore. I need to hide what I am, or the bad people are going to find me, and take me away. A-and so many people would be hurt, or worse. I can hide the wings, but... I can't hide my tail. It doesn't go away. If they look at my tail, then I... Then they'll know who I am. I don't know how I can... how I can..." She gives a stifling sniffle. And then, a blink blink.
".... Why am I feeling funny?"
It doesn't really get easier. It simply gets more expected. Less unique. Less new. In the end, that's what has kept her going. With an embracing hug, Pukai doesn't move away from Dizzy as she seems to calm down. "Mhmm. I guess they did, didn't they?" It's not something that needs to be corrected. Not now, most certainly. With Dizzy calmer, Pukai feels she is doing good. How could this be anything but good?
As Dizzy embraces her as well, Pukai's head wobbles a bit - the hat mostly, the head far less so. "Mhmm?" She asks. Doesn't know what to do. Bad people will find her. Take her away. She can hide, but she can't. It's, inevitably, pointless. Pukai tried - she still does - but you can only hide so much. There are those that attack, others ignore such attacks. They may even agree with it. Dizzy doesn't need to know those yet either
"It would be worse if they take you away, from everyone who care about you." She begins, Pukai still smiling. "You don't need to know what to do to keep going. The most courageous are those who venture forth without a guide. Among those here, you may be the bravest." She promises, tendrils wrapped still around Dizzy. A hug.
"Just hide the wings, and if you must, claim the tail is fashion. You can only do so much, as I have learned. Heee." She giggles, looking up. "You don't need to know, just need to show them you aren't what they want you to be. You are only as much of a monster as you let yourself be. I know of many humans that are far greater monsters." She claims. A lot of words, no doubt.
The funny feeling question comes up. "Ah.. eh? I hope it's not the numbing from my tendrils!" She exclaims, visibly flustered, "Oh no no no! Tell me it's something warming! I didn't do it honest! If it is me. I ah!" Pukai loses her cool a bit - after such nice words! "Well, I hope it's because you're happier! Not... number...!"
Pukai was a gentle soul.
Dizzy wanted it to be easier. She wanted to go back to a peaceful life, in her heart. But her being, her existence was so chaotic now. As Pukai jiggles in her grip, as she gives that gentle smile, the gear draws in a breath. but... she doesn't read Pukai's mind. She doesn't know it's impossible to keep hiding.
But the presence was building.
Dizzy's eyes grow nervous, a hesitation on her face. The wings were... were stretching. Was it friendliness. No, it was the sensation of the toxins. She was feeling... sick. Numb. And Undine and Necro saw it too. They felt a danger now; Pukai was a danger, and they needed to, they needed to...
"I feel so happy!
She releases Pukai, concealing that her fingers weren't quite closing right. "I am much happier. But..." She looks behind her, her tail twitching. She tut tuts it, clucking her tongue. "What can I wear? You look so pretty in yours, like you are in a pretty dress. I have a... I don't know what I could wear to make it look natural." The tail actually twists up. For a moment, it shifts, baring it a mouthful of teeth as Dizzy. The command gear gives a whine, as her fingers remain open.
"... Would I have to wear pants?"
Oh! Happy! As Dizzy seems to not be afected, perhaps due to Pukai not even releasing any (she hopes this is the case!), she doesn't even notice the fingers not closing right! Tendrils and tentacles all the same immediately retract, binding themselves as she has taught herself to do. They would not be going anywhere for a bit, now. Of course, she focuses on important things! Like not stinging Dizzy, and commending her! The tail has teeth!?
"A-Ah! We could find something..." Pukai exclaims, biting her lip slightly as she glanced down below. "There's a lot of unused clothing that may work well... I am sure there is a dress or two that may go over it, poofy around the waist, in a way that was meant to cover most of your legs..."
Of course, she already has a natural dress. Unnatural dress?
"There are many pieces of clothing better than pants, I think, for you..." Pukai adds, seeing the toothy tail. It screams wardrobe malfunction, but then, Pukai was never the most wardrobe-y of people. The woman tilts her head and smiles afterwards. "What would you like to wear, however?"
Dizzy was just happy!
"Oh, I don't like a lot of clothing." Dizzy says. "It doesn't feel very good on my skin. In the village, I wore very short pants, only up to here." She points at the highest point on her thigh. "And a shift up to here!" She points to right around the bottom of her ribs were. "But that's why I like the nightgown, it feels like I'm not wearing a lot, except on my shoulders." She scratches her shoulders. "And it stops some of the acolytes from staring at me. I-" She hesitates, as if she's confessing a secret. "I don't like it when I get stared at. I thought it was nice at first, because I was a stranger, but... they don't stop." She sighs. And then, smiles.
"But I want to wear clothing now!"
Dizzy tries to bring her hands together into a clasp. One of the hands does. The other remains flat, numbed by the... happiness. "I think a dress would be nice. If it is big, and poofy like your pretty dress, but not so clear, it could cover it. And it could be black like my tail, so it doesn't look too distracting. I could call it my... leg?" She tilts her head. "But if pants aren't that good, what does Leo Whitefang use to hide his tail? Doesn't he stuff it in his pants?" The gear pauses a moment. Her brow furrows, as she lifts a flat hand up towards Pukai.
"... Leo Whitefang is a lion man, right?"
That's quite a question! All of it, actually. Pukai tilts her head again the opposite way, thinking as Dizzy talks about clothing, what she wore, how she wore it, and how enjoyable it was to wear such clothing! Pukai meanwhile enjoys such subtle dresses such as 'jelly dress', 'jelly bell' and 'standard order uniform'. "Ahh... Oh. Yes. They should NOT be staring." Pukai remarks, a bit cross. With such a claim, she can make heads? roll! "I will speak with them." She declares.
If she has any ability to do so, she will! Still, Dizzy is happy! Is that not what matters?
Pukai notices the failed clasp specifically and bites her tongue again. Yes. She needs to be far more careful. "We can find a dress!" A thought crosses her mind. Or she can /donate/ a dress, but it's far too translucent and painful to do that. Certainly, it would hurt. Most key point - it's translucent. "Oh yes. That is ... well, I ... guess so?" Pukai isn't sure, "I call these my hair... they kinda are.." She wiggles her hair. It squirms.
"Wah?" Pukai pauses as Leo is brought up. How does he hide his tail. that hand is held up. She stares, lost for a moment, responding not at all. "Leo is a . . . . "
"...I don't know. Where he keeps everything. He must be." She agrees.
Dizzy nods with understanding.
"I think there are more people like me than I think. That's why he so reasonable." She bows her head. "Thank you very much, Pukai. I.... I've been so stupid. I've been so selfish. And I told myself I wouldn't be that anymore, I told Leo Whitefang I wouldn't, and... I just was more selfish, hurting myself, and Undine, and Necro, because..." She shakes her head. "I don't need to think such bad thoughts. I Just need to be happy like you." And when Pukai wiggles her hair?
Dizzy instinctively reaches out to touch it.
"And your hair is very pretty, Pukai." She hesistates, eyes wide, before she pulls at her own hair, frowning. "If I had hair like you, it would be so nice." Dizzy suddenly gasps, looking at her hand. "Oh! My hand! I can-" She pauses. And quickly, she changes the subject. "Can you walk me back? I want to... I want to make sure you don't get in trouble. I feel like I made everyone worried, if you came looking at me. If you do..."
"... Can I put your hair in ribbons?"
"More that like you than you think, as well." Pukai adds. Briefly.
Yet she does not interrupt her afterwards. Dizzy talking about how she has been stupid, selfish, lost in her own loathing in a bid to be normal. She was normal for herself, though - however hypocritcal it may be coming from Pukai. Her head bobs, "We can be happy. That's always our choice!" She pipes up - and then Dizzy reaches to touch her hair.
Oh no no no no.
The head bobs slightly away - not quickly, but just far enough to make it difficult to reach. "It's better not to..." She proclaims, for the moment. "Would it?" She asks, lip bitten once more. Usually she doesn't get such kind words! "Y... yeah and - I can, of course!" Pukai answers, "I would be more than happy to." She beams, smiling to Dizzy as she would begin to lead her! "I am sure you wil not be in trouble, they must just be worried they have not seen your smiling face!"
The last question is one that will be Pukai's hardest to answer. "Mmm.. certainly. We just have to be very careful." She agrees. It will test her ability to control herself! It is, though, not the worst. Maybe she could use such practice. As her boots lead Dizzy down the long stairwell. She'll have to return to clean up the remains of the feathers, later.
Log created on 19:25:01 02/12/2018 by Dizzy, and last modified on 00:45:04 02/13/2018.