Jezebel - TIP: Fish, Smores, and Bad Romance

Description: Lightning Spangles and the Hoedown Dillo are expected to fight The Goochi Goochi Duo right there in the middle of the volcano. But as they reach there... they find a woman in a fish suit. Making marshmallows over the lava. And suddenly they have intense relationship drama. Are you not entertained?!

Have you ever heard of cooking with Lava? It's this idea that you can cook with Lava. Really lava is just an insane dry heat, so you can cook with it pretty well, except if you do it wrong you end up charing stuff. Also if you fall in lava you don't sink like in water, it's too dense. No one has fallen in yet, but things have fallen on top. Food stuff. Naerose has spent the better part of an hour trying to perfect this with marshmellows and sticks and all she's done is set a lot of marshmellows and sticks on fire. So there is Naerose, dress in .. a fish costume. . with the head off, with a pile of sticks and multiple bags of marshmellows (because they're cheap) trying to figure out how to cook over a live bit of lava. Now as for what the fish costume looks like, well it's not red, which is remarkable for the red witch. It looks kind of green and made out of some foam like a pool noodle. Obviously made to get wet. It's green and white and has holes where her arms and legs come out. This is her idea of swimwear maybe. Maybe.

Lava is not for cooking.

Jezebel was not in a good place. In the wake of Sada... she hated Sada. She hated her more than she hated anything else. Well, not anything else. She hated herself most of all. For accepting those drinks, for getting... getting drunk. For letting herself be a disgusting embarassment, a hot shame alone with her thoughts. Lightning Spangles would be disgusted with her. She would reject her forever, and let her be alone, alone in the apartment, where only people would use her. Use her for being a vile, disgusting drunk. But she forgave her. Because nobody knew. Nobody knew what she turned into.

And that is why Lightning Spangles was here today.

The actress had shoved away her shadows behind that full-american facade. The theme of the fight, of course, was cool swimsuits. And what would be cooler than the greatest swimsuit of all time? Lightning Spangles was clad in a Lightning Spangles show-up hoedown swimsuit; armed with boyshorts bottoms of a rhinestone studded American flag, her top was a full-body mock-vest ensemble, wrapping around her contours tightly in spandex glory. Bearing the image of the current president of the United State in the front, President Barack Obama, in the right breast, and a picture of the Vice President of the United States on the left, the Honorable Vice President Joe Biden, she wears a cowboy shower cap. Wearing a plastic smile, she reaches the peak of the volcano....

There was a woman in a fish suit roasting marshmallows.

"Land snakes!" She exclaims, putting a hand on her head. "Get up here Johnn- I mean The Hoedown Dillo! We got a fish suited young lady that's just about to kill herself!" Picking up speed, Lightning Spangles hurries to the young lady that was.... what was she? Why was she wearing a fish suit. WHY WAS IT NOODLES?!!?!?!


Johnny is just in his regular combination of Dillo Vest, nose, ears and one of his swim trunks, because at this point, he doesn't give a crap about these special themes anyway. He considers putting on the Hoedown Dillo getup 'doing his part'. He jogs up after Lightning, pausing to catch his breath. "Why the hell are we in a volcano? I mean, uh, Dag Nabbit! What cowpoke thought fightin' in a volcano was a good idea?" Then Lightning is yelling about something and geez, he's getting a headache. Lightning/Jezebel was more of a handful than he thought. Especially with the whole drinking thing. "Wh-Wait up pardner!" he calls, running to catch her.

Yes it had to be pool noodles. That was the only way to properly make a fish costume and when hallloween pool parties in the future force you to make a costume that is both water able and halloweeny you will thank me. Thank me. For that idea. So why was she here? Wait that's a dumb question, to lava cook of course, but being better at eating than cooking and frankly not patient enough for most cooking well. You tend to improvise. Speaking of improvising, the face that looks up at the approaching Lightning spangles is one that has the chipmonk big full cheeks look. Its Naerose who for a few glorious marshmellowy moment forgot about trying to roast them and decided to stuff her face instead. She looks awfully confused at the sudden interruption and the rushing at her pair while the stick she is holding is currently on fire and burning it's way to her hand.

This is the sum total of life or death situation she is in,.

Lightning Spangles knew exactly how to handle situations like this.

As she reaches the fish lady, her face was flush. Sure, her Dillo was catching up. But this was an emergency. As she looks upon the fat-cheeked young lady, the cowgirl brings a hand to her mouth. "Oh dear!" She exclaims, wincing at the intense heat. There was only one thing. One thing that she could do. She brings back a hand.

And she moves to pat that burning stick out of her hand.

"No! No!" Lightning Spangles scolds, tut tutting the witch with the shake of her finger. "Volcanos are not for roasting marshmallows! They are very dangerous, and much too hot! You should be much more careful when on top of a volcano! Isn't that right, my Dillo companion?" Turning back towards Johnny, she just places her hands on her hips, before looking back at the young lady.

"Do you understand what I am saying?"

Johnny stands, wiping the sweat from his brow. Damn it this stupid nose caught all the sweat. "Yer darn tootin', Lightnin'!" he says with a thumbs up. He only gives a cursory glance to the girl in the fish costume. Whatever, he was becoming jaded to this sort of thing here on Zack Island.

It takes a moment or two for the young woman in the fish costume to respond, to be able to respond. She has to first swallow a marshmellow mouthful and that takes some work. Eventually she does though and doesn't choke, she tries to choke and swallows and eventually yes, doesn't die. Okay mission accomplished. Now she looks confused and stares at the pair that came up the top of the volcano.

"Whats wrong with marshmellows, you like marshmellows, right? You like them right?" She looks from Jezebel to the bag of marshmellows.

"I guess I'm confused." The Red ahh Fish responds who isn't actually a red fish she's just a fish. Well or a woman with pool noodles fashioned into, actually nevermind. She sticks a marshmellow on the tip of her stick and starts to hold it over her lava again and it umm, just catches fire instantly.

"Marshmallows." Corrects Lightning Spangles.

The cowgirl just watches, as the girl in the green fish costume just... repeats what she was doing before. The actress brings her fingers over her mouth, balling up her hand into a fist. She was uncertain, insecure. ANd yet, when Johnny gives her the thumbs up... she smiles. Beating her chest, she lowers down to the fish lady, smiling bright. "It's okay to be confused, pardner! There is a lot of confusing things about life!"

"Let me explain about volcanos.

"Volcanos are real hot," The cowgirl explains. "And full of angry magma!" A howl of wind rips overhead, as the cowgirl looks overhead at the dark, dark sky. The hurricane was beginning to pick up again, pick up again very, very hard. Already, rain drops were beginning to drop down. "What if a big gust of wind came, and knocked you right into the lava! It would be awful, wouldn't it! Safety is very important! And then you wouldn't have any of your marshmallows to eat!"

"Wouldn't that be sad, miss...."

".... Miss...."

"... What is your name, dear?"

"Oh I'm Naerose Delphine the Red Witch.." And she's completely forgotten the part about the volcano being dangerous because after introducing herself she shoves a marshmellow on the end of her stick and holds it on over the Manga again and it totally catches fire and gets burnt to a crisp.

"Plus yew'll catch fire just by standing close to a lot of lava. Luckily that ain't the case here or we'd be screamin' our heads off while they melted!" Johnny adds. He could REALLY go for some s'mores, though. How long has it been since he enjoyed one? Maybe...he casts a grim look at Lightning. He could...make them with....Jezebel.

"Hey, maybe if I don't hold it so close. " Naerose thinks out load and then attemps to not hold the stick over the lava and you know she's living the dream as the marshmellow starts to change like heat is being applied but maybe, just maybe a little closer and it will only be roasted, not burnt to a . .


.... crisp.

"Thanks, Hoedown Dillo!"
Lightning Spangles gives a playful, teasing punch to her pardner's shoulder. And then, for a moment, they meet eyes. That grim look. The look of a man, not a Dillo. A mandillo. Her mandillo. She casts a glance back to the strange woman. Maybe they could make more than smores.

Maybe they could adopt.

"That's a good start!" Lightning Spangles pipes up, keeping that hand on Johnny's shoulder. "When you stay away from lava, it is less hot to you! And when lava is less hot..." She casts a longing, playful glance at Johnny. And she holds it. She holds in spite of the marshmallow melting, sizzling, burning. She just hangs there, with that smile on her face.

She is waiting for her Hoedown Dillo to finish her sentence.

Johnny just stands with his hands on his hips, nodding and smiling. It takes a full 20 seconds to register that Spangles was throwing that back at him. His mouth hangs open as he struggles to come up with something. "Uh, er, the...less burns...yew got?" he struggles. Then he takes out one of those extending party favors and blows into it. Fweet!

"Wait, this is, this is a news story, I need to totally keep it like I dunno, hang on, I will be right back!" Naerose says and turns and rushes down the mountain, the volcano, the only way to go down the mountain. Just as suddenly as they met her, she is gone. Only she forgot her pile of sticks, her marshmellow bags and the head of her fish costume which is sitting a few feet away.

And suddenly the strange fish lady runs off the side of a mountain.

Lightning Spangles pauses, smiling still. Slowly, very slowly, the smile fades, and she lets go of the Hoedown Dillo. The storm rumbles overhead more, the crack of thunder come as the rain comes down. The water begins to pitter patter, rushing into the open maw of the volcano in streams.

Right before the tiki statue.

Jezebel approaches the strange, stone tiki statue sitting before the mouth of volcano. Inspecting it mindlessly, she brushes a hand over it. Without the strange woman around, she was... she was distracted again. Thinking about what she had done. Touching the tiki statue's stomach, she sighs, as a roar of thunder rips overhead. And finally, she turns around to the Hoedown Dillo.

"I'm.. I'm sorry I didn't see you at the party, Johnny."

Johnny starts taking off the ears and nose, pausing when Jezebel speaks to him. "Hey, no sweat. I mean, there's a lot to do on this island, right? Hard to fit it all in," he says with an easy grin, playing it all off.

Jezebel is silent for a moment.

She just stands there, in the rain. She thinks about herself. What she was, why she was, why she did all this. Why she picks Johnny, Johnny Cage, as her Hoedown Dillo. Why Johnny... Johnny picked her. Why she was the one he chose, over everyone else in the world, to be her partner. The woman stares down into the streams of ash and water, pouring into the smoking maw of the volcano. And there, she asks a question sitting in the pit of her heart.

"Johnny, do you like me?"

Johnny looks up as the rain starts to fall, some drops spattering on his shades and forming condensation. "We'd better head back down soon, I-..." he stops when Jezebel asks her question. He turns to face her, hand on his chin. "You know that's a loaded question, Jez. Do you mean, do I like you at the surface? you mean a DEEPER like?"


Jezebel doesn't turn to look at her Dillo. Her partner in the entire tournament. She wasn't brave enough to face him. No, instead she just stares down at the quickly flowing grit. She didn't want to push it more. But she stared into the face of her fantasy last night. She woke up to it. Just where... just where her heart had taken her.

She balls up a fist and hits the statue.

"I..." She begins, the words struggling come out. "... When I first saw you Johnny, on that stage, when you were trying out to be my Hoedown Dillo, I saw... I saw someone who could help me." She says, her words growing softer and softer, and yet still could cut through the roar of the storm. "Someone who could make me, someone who could complete me. And... that was selfish of me. That is selfish of me. But you still picked me. You still chose me." Jezebel finally turns around, staring at the ground, staring at her feet. And slowly, slowly, she casts her gaze upwards. Up his body, up to those shades.

"Johnny, why did you really become my partner?"

Johnny runs a hand through his hair, shifting around on his feet as Jezebel spoke. This suddenly became extremely awkward. He then rubbed the back of his neck as he gazed at her, eyes hidden by the shades. "Look, I saw this Zack Island tournament thing. I knew it'd be a big deal, lots of cameras, a chance to show the world my martial arts are legit. I was putting out feelers for partners, until I heard about your little contest. So I figured, hey, this person's been in the spotlight too - she knows how this works. Combined we'd have a ton of publicity for this thing. Exposure, see? Why would I pick Joe Random Douchebag when I could get Lightning Spangles?"

It was awkward for everyone.

Jezebel's eyes begin to grow puffy, as she stares through the storm. Thunder roars again, as Johnny just... just tells her the truth. The real truth. And it makes sense. If it was anybody else, it would be fine. But Jezebel... she was feeling like she was being used. Paranoia was seeping in her brain, and she felt weak, and helpless, and above all, exposed. But as he lays the truth on her, she barely manages a response.

"So I am just a publicity stunt."

Jezebel hugs herself, staring at the fish mask that was left behind. "That's okay. I'm used to being a publicity stunt. That's what Lightning Spangles is all about, right? I mean, that's what I am supposed to be. I'm supposed to keep people happy, and sell things." Jezebel sniffles a bit, turning away from Johnny.
R"You were happy that I didn't go to the party, weren't you."

Johnny was afraid this might come up sooner or later. Jezebel just seemed that sort of person, he could easily tell. "Whoa whoa, are you talking about last Friday's party? The volleyball thing? No way, I wasn't /happy/ you were gone." Just relieved, but Johnny doesn't say it. "Look, Jez, baby, it's all fun, okay? This whole Lightning Spangles and Hoedown Dillo thing, it's supposed to be fun, right? I mean, you're looking at it the wrong way, this is mutually beneficial for both of us. We both get some real pop with the world out there! Isn't that what this is all about?"


Jezebel is quiet. Looking away, not letting him see her face. Why did she have to say anything. She could have kept pretending. As long as she kept pretending, everything was better. Everything was happy. Everything was more real, than what could be real. She would bask in her reality. And as Johnny... as the Hoedown Dillo keeps talking, it becomes readily clear to Jezebel. She turns back around, to face him. And then, she smiles a full, Lightning Spangles grin.

"You're right Johnny."

The woman laughs. Laughs in the rain, just light, fleeting laughter. "It is all about fun. And I have so much fun! We can just pretend, can't we?" Jezebel walks through the rain, approaching Johhny. To reach out, and hold both of his hands in her own. "We can pretend for fun's sake. For this island, for this tournament..." She pauses a moment, tears welling in the corners of her eyes.

"Well, we will always have Zack Island, won't we?"

Johnny stares as Jezebel does a 180, then grabs his hands. What the hell did he get mixed up in? She was still attractive to be sure...Johnny looked at her with a mixture of attraction, revulsion, concern and pity. Was this someone he could have been? A sad broken B-movie star? Or, God forbid, WILL be in the future? He didn't like that thought one bit. He refused to acknowledge that this could be him, Johnny Cage. He was big, magnamonious. He was Johnny Cage, not Johnny fucking Jones.

He gives her another of his toothy, confident grins. "Hell yeah, we'll own this island. We'll be the number one tag team this place has ever seen!"

Attractive didn't matter to Jezebel.

It mattered everything to her, in a way. If she was hideous, or even just plain, then she would be forgotten in China. A washed up statistic. But no, Johnny had gotten mixed up with Jezebel Faiblesse. The loser who killed a child, and managed to salvage her career from the grave, turning it into a fighting career in the wake of B movies. Lightning Spangles was an entertainer. But Jezebel? Jezebel just wanted to be able to look at herself in the mirror, and be proud of what she looks back at. She need a lot of things right now.

But she would take Johnny's praise instead.

Jezebel opens her arms, sweeping in. To hug Johnny, to embrace him, to hold him. To feel his body against hers. But nothing more. There never was going to be anything more. Just dreams, and fantasies, and hopes. "We are gonna win, Johnny. We are gonna be the greatest. Just Lightning Spangles, and the Hoedown Dillo. Nobody can stop us."

"Nobody will."

Log created on 20:17:06 02/16/2015 by Jezebel, and last modified on 01:54:19 02/17/2015.