Description: Zack is in need of investors to fulfill his dream of transforming Zack Island into a bodacious bonzanza of beachside brawling. Lee Chaolan is a man with a plan and the cash to make this dream a reality. In the crucible of manic absurdity, a bond is forged that is destined to give rise to greatness. This is a really incredible scene.
The pristine natural beauty. The state-of-the-art facilities. The funky music pumped in through tiny speakers secreted in every nook and cranny.
The sheer Zackitude.
Zack Island has all this and more now that, with breathtaking swiftness and at heartstopping cost, construction on the island resort has been completed. Never before has such a paradise been so lovingly crafted with an eye toward fighting, volleyball fighting, volleyball fighting babes, fighting babes, and, generally, babes. But there is trouble in paradise, a problem that even Zack's army of accountants and advisers, hired in a display of unusual prudence, cannot solve alone. Thus does this problem fall on the shoulders of one man.
"Ohhhhh, won't someone heeeelp me pleaseee--"
The afro and shoulders of one man.
"Ohhh-oh-oh-oh-WHIKKA-WHIKKA-ohhhh--"
In the middle of his magnificently appointed office, CEO of Zack Enterprises and owner of Zack Island, Zack, stands behind a set of turntables, a DJ's half-headphone cradled against his ear, green afro rivaling the verdant jungle visible through the vast windows behind. He sings directly into a microphone, sampling himself, and then mixes his own voice using the device before him, fingers dancing expertly across the discs.
"Paperwork is so bo-bo-bo-bo-b-b-b-b-b-boring-- BRING THE BEAT BACK!! YEAH!!"
Sadly, there is no dancefloor to await the drop. There is only a pile of half-completed forms upon Zack's desk, and the knowledge that the staff downstairs are preparing for a grand opening that may like as not never come. For Zack's tournament winnings, multiplied through his Las Vegas luck, could only carry him so far. His dream of fighter babes from across the globe visiting Zack Island for refreshing sensual combat is close to being realized. He has prepared the ground. But putting on the event, he has learned, is another beast altogether. His lawyers are seeking an investor, but with Zack as a first-time business owner notorious for absurdity, it's unclear who will reach out to him. And Zack Island needs an infusion fast.
"Oooooohhhh--"
Zack sings, festive tropical shirt and bright green shorts belying the wavering of his voice, everpresent sunglasses hiding the desperation in his eyes.
"Heeeeeeeelp! ...e-e-e-elp, BREAK IT DOWN NOW!"
There is a slow clap.
Clap. Clap. Clap. A steady, firm clapping, in response to the sick beats that Zack was dropping. A figure, tall and well dressed in a white executive suit, strides across the office. Apparently, he must have let himself in. The silver-haired figure carries a smirk on his face, continuing as he approaches the CEO.
"Ooooooh!~ Impressive mixing, Zack!~"
Standing before the turntables, the man idles a hand near the spinning record, not quite touching it. "I apologize for letting myself in!~ Your secretary insisted that I wait for you to finish, but as your music filled my soul, well, I could not help but dance with her. You really are incredible~" The man winks at Zack. "In any case, I've already made my appointment! Allow me to introduce myself." He extends a hand over the turntables.
"I am Lee Chaolan, of the Mishima Zaibatsu~"
"Ohhhh!"
Zack leaps onto his desk in a sudden surge of excitement, slips on a stray piece of paper, and crashes onto his side on the wood, narrowly avoiding the destruction of his own turntables. There is an awkward pause as the music slows to the BPM of molasses. Then Zack suddenly moves again, twisting to brace his elbow on the desk and lift a knee in a posture of relaxation and poise, arching an eyebrow behind his sunglasses and grinning wide.
"A man of taste! That's my kind of man, man!"
He slaps Lee's hand in a sideways hi-five rather than shake it, brings his hand back to slap the back against the back of Lee's hand, wiggles his fingers, pounds from the top, pounds from the bottom, starts to pound from the top but opens his hand and then pauses, hesitates, furrows his brow, tilts his head, then pounds from the front and opens his fist while drawing it back to mimic an explosion. "BOOM!" he shouts, while reaching behind himself to his turntables with the other hand and moving his arm rapidly. "-oo-oo-oo-oo-OOM!" go the speakers.
But at Lee's introduction, Zack abruptly tosses aside his headphone and straightens into a seated position, sunglasses sliding down his nose to make direct eye contact. His grin redoubles, proving that the human face has no limits. "Mishima Zaibatsu! That's the first damn time I heard words I didn't understand that made me so happy!" He hops off of the desk. "Take a seat, Lee, my friend! Make yourself at home!" He gestures at one of the comfortable chairs for visitors placed before his desk, of equal quality to the one in which Zack himself sits. "Would you like a Mai Tai?" He grooves his way over to the mini fridge by the wall and opens it, revealing ten Mai Tais in cocktail glasses lined up already prepared. There is literally nothing else in the fridge. He takes two.
"You know I love pleasure," he says as he grooves his way back, stopping halfway for a momentary shimmy, "but right now I'm hopin' you're here for business." Even as he jams out, offering one of the drinks, Zack regards his guest with keen eyes above the rims of his sunglasses.
Well this was different.
Lee holds out his hand, letting Zack work it over. Tilting his head aside, he withdraws it cheerfully, accepting that as a form of introduction. He takes himself over, sitting down at the seat offered to him. "You are so generous! Yes! I would adore a Mai Tai!~" He responds, eyeing him carefully. "And as to why I am here..."
"Pleasure is my business~"
He reaches a hand out, to receive one of the cocktails. "I must say, Zack, I have been hearing rumors about you. That you are considering plans." He notes, the smirk across his face intensifying. "I have even heard that you are even thinking about setting up a tournament." The concerned lawyers and investors explained a great deal to Lee Chaolan on this matter. "And the requirements of this tournament are, oh how you say?"
"~Sensual~"
"You read my mind, baby!"
No, Zack, he spoke to your lawyers. Regardless--
"That is indoobeedooitably what is up!"
The Muay Thai fighter and living lucksack turns and one-handed cartwheels back over his desk, this time landing neatly in his chair with legs crossed, the Mai Tai in hand having spilled nary a drop. "There's no better advertisement than a professional fighting event," he says matter-of-factly, "and what Zack Island Resort needs is an advertising blow-out to kick off its grand opening. Moreover," he continues as he leans forward toward the silver-haired executive, "there is nothing better in the world--"
And he grins ear to ear.
"--than /hot babes/!"
Zack slams his Mai Tai back.
"Yaaahooooo!"
Without even looking, he reaches down to the turntables.
"oo-oo-oo-oooo!" go the speakers.
"Here's the plan," he then says, pushing his sunglasses back up the bridge of his nose, as if to suggest that, outfit aside, he is all business. "We get the hottest fighters around to fight it out all over Zack Island. We get all the camera crews in here we can and show off the fine facilities. And every weekend we have a big party in which everybody dresses their best and mugs for the cameras. Just think, the world seeing the ladies of the ring looking sweet! Who wouldn't want that? Who, I say, /who/? Good idea, Zack Attack!" he exclaims, and claps. No, wait, he definitely just hi-fived himself.
Whereupon he brings his fist down on the desk. "My lawyers, that's who!" he says, concluding the thought he had interrupted with self-congratulations. "Something something sex discrimination clause something international pornography laws something. I'd say it's all Greek to me, but my lawyers said that's also discriminatory!" Zack shakes his head at the way of this world. "It's cool. Zack is nothing if not a tolerant man. Zack thinks everyone deserves love. Zack is me! I am Zack!" he declares. "I'm doing everything I can to maximize the bodaciousness brought to this island by making it a team fight. Paradise Doubles! Bring your sexiest friends! Party on my island! Who cares if you can fight if you look hot on the dance floor!"
He finger-guns at Lee with both hands.
"But I'm broke."
"Hold on a moment."
Lee Chaolan takes the cocktail, handing up his other hand. He furrows his focusing very seriously on Zack... though the smirk doesn't fade. "Hot babes?" He asks, as Zack explains just what he is up to. What Lee thought of Zack right now was unknown to anything, even to the silver-haired executive himself.
"So let me get this straight."
"You have no idea how the basic of your business work, you want to hold a tournament without any real idea or goal to either test fighters OR make money, you want to instead use it to objectify and sexualize various women, all within the context of a fighting promotion, and you have no money with which to pay for it?"
R"Well, that is why I am here, baby~"
Lee takes a sip of the cocktail, raising it to his companion. "Don't worry, about the money! I will pay for everything. My only price is that I get a say in everything. We will be partners in this, okay? And if you lawyers complain to you again? Well, who need lawyers when you have all the money!~" How was Lee going to pay for all of this?! In fact, Lee leans over to Zack, and whispers to him, the smirk gone. "But there is something very important I need to ask you about your idea, Zack."
"What kind of babes are you talking about?"
"Describe it to me~"
Zack listens to Lee's summary, staring in rare silence.
"You--"
Before he leans in close.
"You understand me, baby!!"
He sounds as though he's choking up. Pulling a big flowery handkerchief from the breast pocket of his vibrant shirt, he noisily blows his nose while Lee continues fulfilling all Zack's hopes and dreams. "Yes!" he exclaims. "That's so true!" Money can buy anything. And what Zack wants to buy is popularity. Popularity /with babes/.
At any cost!
But now Lee is leaning in too, and whispering. Zack reaches over and adjusts the volume on his turntables so that a soft and subtle beat permeates the room, building suspense, without looking away from Lee's face. Well, that's how it seems, anyway. It's impossible to tell with the sunglasses.
"Oh."
He places his palms on the desk.
"My."
His sunglasses slide down his nose.
"God!!!"
Revealing eyes as wide as his grin is broad.
"Have you /seen/ the babes of Dead or Alive!?"
Whereupon he throws his hands up in the air.
"I don't know where DOATEC finds them! It's a Christmas miracle and it's Christmas every got-damn day! They've got hnnngh out to mmpphh and urrghh out to oooohh!" He illustrates with some vaguely obscene gestures. "Those ninja girls especially! As soon as I saw them, I knew-- I gotta get them in swimsuits! I gotta get them on a yacht! I gotta get them dressed like mermaids lounging in the sand!" He thought that as soon as he saw them? "And I gotta get them dancing to the beat in the best hotel in the Pacific Ocean!"
He spreads his hand wide.
"Really, I've just got to get them moving vertically," he amends. "The rest will take care of itself."
Lee Chaolan listens intently, sipping his Mai Tai carefully.
Of course, he had a sinister reason behind all this. But he wasn't going to make it obvious. He would just follow what he assumed as a coked up mad genius, listening and nodding his head. But as he describes the girls of the Dead or Alive tournament, he just sort of rolls his eyes. The silver-haired man chuckles a bit. "I am sure they are alright."
"But they probably don't compare to the babes of the Tekken tournaments!"
Lee Chaolan reaches into his suit, and pulls out a collection of pictures. "Look at these, Zack!" He states, handing them to his companion. It is a collection of various fighters, in favorite outfits, some of them reasonable, others are... proof that you can be much more interesting with less. "As you can see, we have a ninja too, the one in the mask! And these two? Sisters, and both as gorgeous as the next. We have the Changs here, both sexy wrestlers of course, and these two are dancers! Incredible, isn't it? And that one is..."
"Well actually I think that's a boy."
Lee scratches his chin, tapping the picture. "Leo's a boy's name, right? Anyways, and my favorite are these two! This one is tall and long, with incredible legs! And what better than the fact she has a teasing schoolgirl crush on that one, the one with the giant booooo-oooold on."
He frisks one of the pictures back.
"Sorry, that's technically family~"
"Ohhh!" Zack shouts. "That's the kind of challenge I like to hear!" Beat. "And see!!" No, an actual beat. He's turned up the volume again. The sound of a woman moaning is sampled, and idly he reaches for the turntables and scratches, repeating the moan over and over and over and--
"Ohhhhh!"
Zack's sunglasses pop off of his face, falling next to Lee's photos.
"These are-- these are--!"
He flips through and pauses at Leo, hesitating only briefly.
"It's all good!" he then declares with finality. "Zack is down! Zack don't judge! So don't judge Zack! Everybody gets one! Or two, or three! It don't count if the beachballs don't touch." He sets the photos down on the desk as Lee steals one of them away and, as his silver-haired friend trails off, quickly unpins the microphone from his shirt collar and helpfully positions it next to Lee's mouth, mixing with his other hand again.
"Booooo-oooo-oo-oooo--" go the speakers in Lee's voice.
It's unclear why this is necessary.
"Lee," Zack then says, looking to his new /best/ friend with utter serious. "I have a dream." Uh oh. "A dream that Tekken babes, and Dead or Alive babes, and King of Fighters babes, and Chun-Li, can come together in harmony and beat the hell out of each other for our voyeuristic pleasure!!" He raises his hands heavenward. "No, for the voyeuristic pleasure of the entire world!!"
Zack then reaches out with both hands to clasp Lee's own.
"Will you help me? Help me make this dream a reality?"
After a moment, intensely serious expression unchanging, he releases one of his hands from Lee's grip and quietly moves it back to the turntables.
"--ty-ty-ty-ty-tyyyy--"
Lee Chaolan nods his head willingly.
"It does not count," The silver-haired executive repeats, utterly unphazed by the previous vocal mixing, "If the beachballs don't touch." The smirk endures, the man's eyes sparkling. "You truly are a wise man, Zack. But you miss the most important thing. "It isn't for the voyeuristic pleasure of the world, ultimately." He places a hand on Zack's shoulders.
"It is for the voyeuristic pleasure for ourselves."
Lee Chaolan tosses the cocktail glass aside, falling to one knee in front of Zack. Holding his hand tight, his eyes shimmer with inspiration. "I will help you make this dream a reality, Zack. No matter the cost. No matter the risk. We will find a way to bring only the hottest and sexiest fighters in the world, dress them in various outfits and bathing suits, and make them fight. Or race jetskis. Or play volleyball. Or maybe just lounge by the pool. My question is, Zack..."
"Will you be my partner in this?"
Zack gasps.
"You..."
He's so shocked that he forgets to mix.
"You're right, Lee."
He sinks back in his chair.
"You're got-damn right. This is for /us/."
And then Lee is on his knee, speaking of a dream of his own, a dream that unifies perfectly with Zack's own. The DJ's heart catches in his throat. He tosses his own glass aside, then unpins his microphone and tosses that aside, and then picks up his turntables and hurls them across the room with a horrible screech from the speakers, just for emphasis, all while staring longingly into Lee's beautiful eyes.
"Yes."
Zack falls from his chair, afro shaking as he sinks to his own knees, hand clasped with his new eternal BFF and bro, Lee Chaolan.
"On my heart, yes, a thousand times yes."
He pauses, reaches with his other hand for his collar, finds nothing, glances toward the corner of the room where the microphone now lies, pauses again, and then whispers under his breath.
"--es--es-es-ess-esss--"
The smirk turns into a smile.
Holding Zack's hands, he brings his sleeve up. Gently, he wipes the tear from the corner of his eye. The plan had come together. Soon, the island would be filled with beautiful, lonely women who will be stuck on the island, and forced to make fighting. Now if they could only get the girls from Rumble Roses... But no matter. "Zack, I hope this is the the beginning of a beautiful relationship. A relationship that is..."
He flashes a thumbs up.
"Excellent~"
Zack lifts his free hand.
"We're gonna be friends forever, Lee," he says, "you and me. That booty don't lie." He nods solemnly. "That booty ... don't lie."
And he thumbs up right back.
"Zackellent!!"
Log created on 19:03:15 11/14/2014 by Zack, and last modified on 05:37:14 11/15/2014.