Match of the Millennium

Dr. Myrek Lorsen, P.C.C.
Psychological Evaluation
Subject # ___52912___
ALMA TOWAZU
Excerpts

"...While these interviews are merely a routine assignment meant to gauge the emotional wellbeing of the YFCC non-profit's administrators, and I have been given no cause for alarm regarding the mental state of my patient, I must confess to a certain level of personal excitement. As argued by Lars Sluga in his controversial 'Absolute Power: The Psychology of Fighters' [see endnotes], even if we set aside ethical concerns regarding the threat to social justice posed by the personality disorders of the mighty, a psychologist's scientific scrutiny would still be demanded by the tendency of these iconic individuals to epitomize their personality types, becoming veritable archetypes of themselves. In them we may see both psychological health and unhealth honed to a visible - and dangerous - point."

"Alma's extreme composure does not seem a defense mechanism. He answers even very personal questions without reserve or resistance, but he will often pause lengthily before speaking, exhibiting great restraint in how he weighs his words. He seems self-aware about how unbelievable some of his claims, such as regarding his unique 'second sight' perception of the world, may seem to others, but not particularly self-conscious. I believe Alma expects others around him to not see the world the way he does, and as such does not offer the personal details he shares so freely with me unless he is solicited, whereupon he considers it of great importance to reciprocate by being as clear as possible. [...]

Even then, while the young man sometimes seems possessed of rare eloquence - or at least an enthralling presence while speaking - even during his greatest efforts he can become unintelligible. Only in these moments do I see him obviously, if faintly, troubled. I wonder if perhaps his attempts to explain his world to me are equivalent to a seeing man attempting to explain color to the blind. Yet it is clear that he feels he must share his experiences with others, that there is some greater human value to them even to those who do not live as he does, and that he must serve by expressing it however he is able. As he himself said to me, 'Dr. Lorsen, we may not share a vocabulary, but I believe we must share a language.'"

"In my estimation, Alma's world-view is best explained from two angles: that of his unique physical perception, and that of his reaction to his own childhood. These threads intertwine in that it appears that even before he gained his 'aura sight' the outside world seemed unfamiliar to him, the concerns of others confusingly trivial; he suspects that this is because of the insular life he led with his parents, particularly his mother after the early death of his father. Regardless of its origins, however, and though it may be a symbolic representation of a mindset he had already largely acquired, Alma's peculiar ability has a direct effect on how he perceives people. The vibrant multiplicity inherent in their personality taken shape and the persistent sense of kinship he derives compels him on a daily basis to believe in human interdependence; yet he is also convinced that the beauty he experiences is a tragic one, that the self is a fluctuating and vulnerable thing, and this hammers into him the belief that identity is made, not a given. [...]

While the sense of intimacy that pervades his life seems to allow Alma to easily form and sustain meaningful relationships with others - these appearing to have fomented much of his personal growth upon emerging from the limited world of his childhood - he reacts confusedly and somewhat comically to questions regarding more conventional forms of intimacy. He does not appear to understand the concept of romance, and though he appears to have had the semblance of a romantic relationship with one young woman in the past, he has resolved its to him bizarre nature by thinking of it in retrospect as yet another opportunity for a respectful and trusting relationship. I am skeptical that this is how he thought of it at the time, but such feelings appear even now beyond his purview. He seems for all intents and purposes omnisexual, given that he is attracted mainly by the 'aura' of a person and apparently otherwise blind to conventional charms. For all his assertions regarding the underlying unity of human existence, I believe romance is one of the few areas where Alma compartmentalizes his life; his 'love' for his brethren and 'sworn siblings', noted fighters Jiro Kasagi and Hotaru Futaba, seems platonic (though I cannot be sure), and he confesses to no significant attraction to his fellow models, seeming surprised that I would care about such irrelevant facts as their varying states of undress. Ironically, however, he seems shaken even now by memories of /fighters/ in said states, and it is in those moments - particularly when he apparently 'had no choice but to' remove the clothing of an unconscious subordinate, Mizuki Kamigawa - that his compartmentalization seems to collapse, the distinct worlds of spiritual and physical intimacy, the former familiar and the latter unreal, colliding unavoidably. [...]

Alma's simultaneous closeness to and alienation from others, that he experiences a visceral sense of community yet in his attempts to articulate it cannot avoid seeming surreal or quasi-divine to others, appears to be the primary source of his unique social standing and the enigmatic benevolence that has made him so popular. I cannot help but wonder if Alma will ever be capable of a real romantic relationship, but, in this unusual case, I do not think his situation warrants further therapy. [...]

He appears on the verge of obsession with words such as 'dignity', 'integrity', 'honor', and other such synonyms for an immaterial self, and the only time he became frustrated with me was when I suggested that he cared more for a 'transcendental' side of being than that which we encounter from day to day. No, he insisted, there is nothing transcendent about it: we are presented with fragments of a self by our circumstances, and while we do not have a choice about what we are offered, we must forge and temper them ourselves; this is the only true sense of personhood there is. It is clear he distinguishes sharply between meaningful and meaningless life, and sees something frightfully dangerous in succumbing to nihilism, something more worrisome than death itself."

"As with many who come to believe they have mastered their own history of hardship, Alma possesses formidable conviction. He does not refer to the various betrayals of his parents with any ill feeling; in fact, he confesses to a sense of gratefulness that his suffering granted him the 'opportunity' to acquire a strong sense of self and become certain of his own direction; he clearly also believes that it was an epiphany related to this that occasioned the late blossoming of his so-called Psycho Power. Though he is emotionally subdued, his sentiments evidenced more in his eyes than in the even tone of his words, when he speaks of his past I can see hints of the legendarily explosive passion that this young man reveals in battle. In this respect and in many others, though he sees himself as a seeker and preserver of the true order of things, Alma is a revolutionary, eager to thrust his vision upon the world for its own sake. Perhaps because of the complete picture his psychic consciousness provides for him, he does not seem to possess any real historical consciousness; if, however, he continues to expand on what he considers his natural and just progression from a highly personal to the political realm, I suspect that he would not consider himself above a role as a world leader. If he is a monk, as some describe him, he is one that disdains the monastery."

"It is my estimation that Alma is defined by an urge toward martyrdom and an overwhelming messiah complex. Unlike others who share these traits, he does not suffer from megalomania or narcissism, nor does he seem to possess any related insecurities. His ego and sense of self-worth do not seem contingent on his being of service to others or the success of his message, and I believe he has rendered his psychological predispositions mostly harmless, in contrast to his mother from whom I suspect he inherited some of these traits. Yet he will at times, seemingly accidentally, reveal a certainty that his own 'inner fire' will rise up to consume him, that his faith in the boundless importance of integrity will inevitably lead him to sacrifice his life in its name. In these moments, though he claims that his lifestyle is one that exalts the dignity of life, it appears that the collapse of purpose he experienced as a young adult has driven him to rather value dignity over life, and that he would prefer not to live a life wherein his sense of self had been irrevocably compromised. [...]

He assumes responsibility for the world itself, as does every supposed savior, and it is an existence that would drive a lesser man to self-loathing; Alma instead admits to a growing awareness that at the heart of his faith lies the troubling knowledge that it was born in response to uncertainty, and that he thus cannot defeat despair, only perpetually fight it. I do not think that he will abuse his power over others, and though I perceive his conviction may turn at times to ruthlessness, he is too conscious of others' emotional states to ever intentionally do them harm or become truly self-obsessed, whatever pedestal he may claim to put his own integrity upon. But I believe he remains unaware of his own tendency - innocent, I think - to assume that his world of auras is 'more real' than the world others perceive, and that he has seen not merely another facet of life but derived a truer insight from it; he admits that he rarely contacts people in person because he feels their presence innately at all times. So long as he continues to feel that his main role is to offer this unique perspective and that he cannot be himself unless he is striving against all odds to do so, he will by nature remain distant even from those he most sincerely loves."