Match of the Millennium

The screen fades from black, showing a title:

NAEROSE DELPHINE

AN UNAUTHORIZED BIOGRAPHY

The title lingers there for a few seconds, then the screen fades back to black.
A pleasant male voice starts reciting,

"Western civilization holds the belief that a single man can make a difference, and change the world. Like an unforeseen detail that somehow manages to completely shift the balance of the big picture, changing history forever. Naerose fits this description perfectly, provided we stop at 'unforeseen'. Some people argue that the word 'somehow' should be included too, but that goes beyond the scope of this documentary."

"Naerose Delphine was found on the doorsteps of an orphanage when she was still an infant. The person who happened to find her related that she was in a basket, and she had a note next to her saying just "FEED ME". At the same time, she was extending a bowl to the orphanage worker there". The picture that goes with these last words is an artist's rendition of the baby Naerose, merely a babe in arms, wearing shades and staring determinately just like the adult one would, extending a bowl to the startled orphanage worker.

Cut to the view of a sturdy man with a rectangular-ish face, a gray, short beard, sitting at a desk. The office is not richly decorated, quite the opposite, but it's dignified. The caption identifies him as Mr.Whitman, current director of the orphanage. He looks away, reminiscing. "I... I remember that day as if it was yesterday. That little twerp wouldn't cry, or act cute, or anything. She'd just keep staring in an accusing way until we finally gave up and fed her." He sighs. "It was our first mistake. She's always expected us to ever since."

Cut to a photo, an outdoors shot of the orphanage. "Her future path was already determined it appears, but it mustn't be overlooked how future experiences would shape her personality. As time went on, Naerose would develop a strange liking for the color red. (Pictures: photos of Naerose, age 4, wearing all sorts of red garments. Red shirts. Red overalls. Red swimsuit. Red pajamas. Red Halloween ghost costume, which is just a red blanket thrown over her head. (Without holes for the eyes).

One out of one psychologists we consulted says that this was probably a reaction to her not having had red hair, thus not being able to pull off the red-headed stepchild routine. Thus, she's probably trying to compensate by incorporating that color into every item in her wardrobe."

(Shoot of a guy at a desk, with gold-rimmed round glasses and a beard trimmed with maniacal perfection. The caption says, "Dr. Wacko Nutjob, PhD in Psychology")

He takes a puff from a pipe, then takes the pipe in his hand and starts gesticulating as he speaks. "This was probably a reaction to her not having red hair, thus not being able to pull off the red-headed stepchild routine. Thus, she's probably trying to compensate by incorporating that color into every item in her wardrobe."

The scene cuts to Mr.Whitman's desk. "In fact I'm convinced that her coming to our orphanage was her very first attempt at a stupid, self-centered plan to snarf some food. I don't believe those who say she's the result of a shamefully failed cloning experiment commissioned by a very prominent, very resourceful, very evil individual, or that her thought processes are so messed up just because she's an alien, nor that her parents willingly got rid of her because she was... well, Naerose." There is a short pause. "Well, no, actually, I can believe the latter.", he finally admits, looking away and fiddling with his fingers.

Shot of a muscular man with black hair, cropped short, wearing a black suit and black sunglasses.
The caption says, "AGENT JOHN SMITH -- AGENCY UNDISCLOSED"

The man starts speaking while staring at the camera, his expression not changing from a neutral, somewhat intimidating poker face. "First off, let me start by saying that there is no such thing as aliens. And even if there were..." He pulls up a piece of paper with mysterious glyphs written all over it. "...they would release an official statement saying they don't have, and never want to have, anything to do with a weirdo such as Naerose Delphine."

Voiceover: "As years progressed, Naerose started to find out what path she would follow in life. Sometimes it's one big event that makes you what you are, sometimes, it's just small things."

Mr.Whitman: "I remember the kids' favorite pastime back in the day was tying Naerose to a pole and trying to burn her. Ah, the memories... too bad they never quite succeeded."

And so, Naerose, after years and years of hearing "Burn The Witch!" being shouted at her, decided to actually become a witch, and find out what this witch thing was. In that order.

A picture of a woman in her late forties, with red curly hair. Shelves and shelves of books can be seen behind her. The captions say "Ms.Johnston, orphanage librarian." When she speaks, she's got one of those 'ten packets of cigarettes per day' voice. "I remember when she would come here to research the issue. She was fascinated with anything involving magic. Of course, we're a kid-safe library, so we don't carry the Necronomicon or similarly human-skin bound books, so she had to make do with fairy tales, comics, cartoons and those Japanese things I can never remember the name of."
Thus Naerose, just like an American holiday, became a non-denominational, commercialized shadow of what her equivalents of centuries before had been, with a way more flashy appearance and way less content.

Mr.Whitman shrugs, then clasps his fists together "And so it was that Naerose left the orphanage." He glances upward for a moment, then returns to look at the camera. "...well, orphanage/s/, to be exact." He leans back and starts stroking his short, gray beard. "See, remember how I told you about my suspicions' that her showing up in a basket was all a setup? This one isn't the only orphanage she attended. She hung out in more than one" He leans forward again, hands clasped together. "A few days after we first found her, she just isn't there anymore. Poof. Gone." He says, with a smile, which quickly turns into a frown followed by a sigh. "But the bonanza wouldn't last for long. On the fifth day of her disappearance, the phone rings. It was Mr.Templeton, a good friend of mine who runs this other orphanage. He tells me that they found this girl in a basket with a bib and a pacifier, holding out a bowl. Needless to say, it was Naerose who was promptly shipped back to us." Mr.Whitman removes his glasses and cleans them in a handkerchief, while commenting, "She kept doing almost every other week, until no orphanage would pay attention to her any longer. Including ours." He looks up from the glasses he's cleaning. "I think she was fifteen by then."

And so you have it. Naerose thought long and hard about this, but finally decided that leaving the orphanage and finding her own way in the world would have been better for everyone (The picture shows an artist's rendition of Naerose in mid-air, holding a suitcase in one hand and onto her hat with the other, while being kicked out of the orphanage. Only a foot is visible coming out from the orphanage door, somehow, she's still smiling)
Alone in the world, with nobody to talk to, what could a poor witch without proper training, no food reserves and only five bucks in her pocket do?

(Artist's rendition of a teenage Naerose dressed in baby clothes lying in a basket in front of the orphanage door, holding out a bowl to a shocked Mr.Whitman)

After the first failed attempts (Drawing of Naerose being kicked out again, in exactly the same pose as before, only in baby clothes and with a basket instead of the suitcase) and sorely needing food, Naerose at first had to resort to all of her resources for surviving (Drawing of Naerose gnawing on her five dollar bill)

(Cut to the present. Recent footage of a moderately famous fighter about ten year older than Naerose is now) I... I still remember meeting Naerose back then, when she was a perfect nobody. Which, I guess, she still is."

But all was to change thanks to the power of true friendship.

Subtitles show the name 'Li Xiangfei', while the picture shows her on the phone, while busy eating in a somewhat crowded Chinese restaurant. "You have done WHAT?" Pause. "And you're being chased by WHO?" Li Xiangfei moves the telephone into her other hand and starts talking hurriedly into the receiver. "Naerose, haven't you forgotten that we're supposed to be converting the Hibiki dojo into a sushi restaurant tonight? Egging the house of the yakuza boss was scheduled for /tomorrow/! How are we supposed to /sneak/ into the dojo if we have half of Tokyo's most accurate hitmen chasing after-"
The scene is interrupted by a red Vespa crashing in the restaurant in the background by breaking a huge glass window, while bullets zip by, shot by men in black suits and shades chasing her in black cars. Which enter the restaurant too, while people scramble away in panic. Li X barely has the time to turn that the witch riding the scooter snatches her away and disappearing off-camera with her. Cars with hitmen follow suit.
-This documentary brought to you by Ran Hibiki