Katana - Buckaroo Banzais

Description: Wendigo was just trying to take in the sights in Southtown. The trouble was, he was a mercenary by trade, and the Mad Gear was looking for some mercenaries. Worse yet, the man sent for him was none other than the eccentric Katana. Misunderstanding occur, and the two throw down for a brawl to settle the truth on the matter: Samurais or Cowboys?



Here in the dark light, he almost fit in. Well, almost. His skin was still the color of ice during a snowstorm, but it wasn't as glaring, wasn't as obvious. He was still seven feet tall, but sitting in a backbooth with his big biker boots propped up on a nearby table, he wasn't towering over anybody. And besides, one's eyes were probably drawn to "Morrigan" and "Kitana" dancing on either side of him, while the big man counted his money right there out in the open.

Cherrytappers was a relatively new places, but it was already a smash hit. And considering Wendigo's lifestyle, it was a place he certainly kept in business, every time he was in the neighborhood. He was dressed casually right now, black leather 'cowboy' sort of hat with a black duster, he had a biker Wyatt Earp thing going on, and that's before you considered the arsenal he kept on him. There were rules against that kind of thing, but really, who was gonna tell him no?

Such tasteful entertainment was not lost on the Mad Gear.

In the depths of the strip club, the cowboy was not totally out of place. Even with his giant profile. He was at least dressed somewhat acceptable, somewhat normal. Somewhat is easy. But to be truly out of place in this place generally meant you were thrown out. Thus, as Wendigo was enjoying the sights and scenary, he might miss out on the scuffle at the entrance of the club. The argument with the bouncer. The giant, sauntering suit of bad samurai armor. But if he managed to ignore that, there might be something that would harsh his buzz:

The screams of the strippers as the giant suit roars across the room.

Tables are knocked aside, women are sent tumbling to the ground, and men are knocked from their chairs. But all were better off than bouncer caught between the jittes of the large, hulking samurai, that was being steamrolled along the floor. As flames erupt from the ground, the tall, bemasked samurai comes to a halt, right in front of Wendigo's booth. rising back up, he glares from behind his mask, expressionless in facade, but booming in tone.

"YOU!"

"KONCHI WA!"

Eyes red like blood glanced up, the pupils focusing on a red, white and blue mess standing in front of him, shouting at the top of his lungs, and scaring his two favorite dancers away. He let them go, getting his feet off the table and slowly reaching over for one of the many shots of whiskey they had on the table. It knocks down his gullet, and now the little glass is tossed aside, to smash near the "samurai"'s thonged feet.

"Cute sais. But if yer looking fer a dance, sugar, afraid you're barkin' at the wrong partner, there. Wanna step back a few? Yer standin' in my reading light."

The broken glass does not bring a flinch from the looming figure.

The samurai is a tall figure, though nowhere nearly as tall as the cowboy. Or broad, in fact. But clad in a blend of true samurai armor and football padding, the stranger raises up his jitte, kicking the bouncer away as the bottle is hurled down. Holding up the weapons, he swipes the air, showing off a clumsy skill with the tools. But as the cowboy is not impressed, he finally belts out with an accent as fake as that Morrigan's tits.

"THESE ARE NOT SAIS."

The stranger pauses a moment. "THEY ARE JITTE. THEY MEAN TEN HANDS, AND ARE TRADITIONAL JAPANESE WEAPONS!" The Samurai raises up the weapons to show them out, angrily correcting Wendigo. "AND I AM NOT LOOKING FOR DANCES! I AM KATANA! MASTER SAMURAI OF THE WEST! AND I HAVE COME FOR A STRANGE COWBOY!" He bellows out in stilted, sharp words. The patrons are rushing out of the bar, and the dancers are fleeing backstage. But with a jitte held out to each side, Katana asks his true question.

"ARE YOU WENDIGO?!"

The fury of Katana was so great that Wendigo had to look away, holding up his left hand to block his own face from view. Or maybe that was to protect himself from spittle. In any case, he waits for a bit after the "samurai" belts out his question, instead slowly raising up and grabbing a pair of black leather fingerless gloves off the table, pulling them on and stretching/rolling out his neck and shoulders. Now, he towered above this strange, volume-challenged individual. Opening up his 'duster' to hook his thumb into his gunbelt, Wendigo cut a strange sight. His pants were made of the same black leather material as the rest of his outfit, and the only thing cloth was the black shirt hidden underneath the harness of throwing knives, the same harness that held an additional weapon on his back, under that coat of his. With how big he was, you'd think he wouldn't need evil hurty tools this much, but different strokes and all that.

Right now the giant albino weirdo was staring down the smaller masked weirdo, stroking his black handlebar mustache with his left fingers, his nails also painted black. One wonders what this guy's favorite color was...

"You got the right original freak here, Kaytahnah, but now I'm gonna ask what precisely you want, because you're seriously cutting into my personal me-time, and that makes me just a little cranky, you dig pardner?"

"MY FAVORITE COLOR IS BLUE, WHICH IS GREEN IN JAPAN BECAUSE THEY ARE VERY SIMILAR!"

The strange man announces that to the stranger man, the armored pouring 'wisdom' into the cloaked. Fortunately, spittle is caught in the mask, though the opening of the mouth does seem a bit moist. As he continues to shout, he hooks his own jitte back away, so he can cross his arms, standing at attention. As he reveals his duster, his stance breaks, as he leans in to look at the armory underneath.

"WOW! WHAT WEAPONS!"

Recovering from his mimed gawking, he stands back up at attention, giving a fist bump to his own chestplate. "TELL ME, WENDIGO, LEATHER-CLAD ONE. ARE YOU NOT WHAT THEY CALL THE MODERN AMERICAN COWBOY?! DID YOU KNOW THE IDEAL OF THE AMERICAN COWBOY WAS INSPIRED BY JAPANESE SAMURAI! IT IS A FACT! LOOK AT SEVEN SAMURAI AND MAGNIFICANT SEVEN! YOU ONLY NEED TO LOOK AT ONE, BECAUSE THEY ARE THE SAME!" The glowering oni mask of the Samurai does not change, but Wendigo may hear a slight wheeze. "I NEED A COWBOY! WE DO! AND WE WILL PAY YOU MONEY!"

"CAN I PAY YOU MONEY TO BE MY COWBOY!?"

Impressively, for the first time in Wendigo's life, his eyes have glazed over. Information about samurai and sevens, the big man wasn't sure if this guy was talking about some casino or what, but he was quickly giving even less of a shit than he started with. And then the goon said that he'd pay Wendigo money, to be his cowboy.

His cowboy.

This guy, who stormed in with two dull phallic weapons and a samurai gimp mask, he...he wanted...

"Ya want me to be WHAT?!"

Well, that was the last straw, enough to cause the Great White Motherfucker to spring into action. In a flash, he hunkered down, and his right fist came up in a quick uppercut right toward that metal looking mask. Hopefully he'd send this goon flying into one of them stripper poles, maybe that'd jar something in his head. Or just mash it into goop.

"Wendigo ain't nobody's cowboy, Brokeback, ya got that loser?!"

COMBATSYS: Wendigo has started a fight here.

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Wendigo          0/-------/------=|


COMBATSYS: Katana has joined the fight here.

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Katana           0/-------/-------|=------\-------\0          Wendigo


COMBATSYS: Katana endures Wendigo's Strong Punch.

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Katana           0/-------/----===|==-----\-------\0          Wendigo


Something must have been lost in translation.

As Katana makes his offer, it is considered. Katana had all this money. It was supposed to be a smooth, easy recruitment. And then, out of the blue, he gets a sucker punch to the face. The mask smashes into Katana's face, and the man staggers back. But he does not fall, oh no. Instead, he snaps back forward, like a willow branch.

"OH HO HO!"

That was the laugh that comes, as blood begins to leak from the bottom of his mask. Instead of stunning Katana, it seemed to only invigorate him. His gloved hands go for his own hips. "YOU WISH TO SETTLE THIS IN A DUEL! YOU ARE JUST LIKE SPIKE FROM COWBOY BEBOP! YOU ARE SO COOL! COWBOYS VERSUS SAMURAI! YOU ARE THE COWBOY!" He begins, as he surges with the momentum, drawing back out both jittes with surprising skill. With a smooth motion, he bring both of them together in a beartrap like manner, one low for his... hip, and the other high for his ribcage. Katana was not used to fighting men bigger than him. But that would not kill his spirit. "I AM SAMURAI!" He bellows. "SAMURAI I AM-URAI!"

"WOULD YOU LIKE SOME GREEN EGGS AND HAMURAI!?"

COMBATSYS: Katana successfully hits Wendigo with Crushing Strike.

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Katana           0/-------/----===|=====--\-------\0          Wendigo


Perhaps a lesser man would have held his hand after punching that goofy metal mask, but Wendigo merely gave a snear as he reached up to quickly throw off his hat and coat. Now his mostly bare arms were visible, big burly thngs covered in scrawling tattoos. Now, he could move and fight better, now he could grab for his gear easier, and now he could be easier distracted while two metal club-like things were coming at him.

One smashed itself against his ribcage, steel competing against freakishly dense bone. Wendigo wasn't too worried about that. But the other blasted him right in the jewels, causing him to cough and his eyes to bug out a little. Moments later, he'd respond with a laugh of his own.

"Nancy boy wants to get dirty, huh? Alright, let's get dirty!"

Being so close to the nursery rhyming fighter, it would be easy for Wendigo to grab at the man's thighs and hips and hoist him up into the air easily. And it would be even easier to drop down to one knee, the other aiming right for his opponent's groin when he came back down. Wrestlers did it, why couldn't he?

And if that all worked, Wendigo would complete the attack by 'tossing' his foe away. Hopefully clear across the bar. This little geek hit harder than you'd think.

COMBATSYS: Katana blocks Wendigo's Low Hanging Fruit.

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Katana           0/-------/----===|====---\-------\0          Wendigo


"I AM NOT NANCY!"

"SOME CALL ME SODOM-" He begins, as he keeps the pressure on his jitte. Too much pressure, in fact. As Wendigo doesn't surrender in his grasps, it becomes obvious that Wendigo wasn't trapped in there with him. He was trapped in with Wendigo. "OH MY!" He exclaims as Wendigo hefts him up, and with a graceful movement, readies to drop him hard down on the knee. Katana tenses up, and suddenly, a fact of the samurai becomes apparent.

The armor -works-

Smashed down on the knee, there is a cracking sound as the armor snaps, taking most of the impact. The hurl away, however, is something that the armor takes less oomph from. Smashing into one of the nearby poles upon the center stage, Katana tumbles, rolling with the throw. Catching the pole with his jitte, he stops himself from falling off the stage. Staggering up, he pulls upright, standing next to the pole. And there, he thrusts a jitte towards Wendigo.

"IMPRESSIVE! YOU ARE QUITE A WRESTLING COWBOY!"

Katana hops down from the stage. "BUT YOUR COWBOY STYLE IS NO MATCH FOR MY SAMuRAI STYLE!" He barks from behind the mask, approaching back towards Wendigo. And then, picking up more and more speed. He had a lot of ground to cover, and he was in a bad position for it. But as he closes back in on the albino giant, he attempts to cross his jitte again, trying to catch him between them again. But not to crush him this time. No, he will simply pick him up in the air, and spike him straight down into a nearby table, like a giant football.

"FACE MY SODOM MIGHT!"

COMBATSYS: Wendigo blocks Katana's Butsumetsu Buster.

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Katana           0/-------/---====|======-\-------\0          Wendigo


Getting Katana away from him granted him a moment to quickly crack his knuckles and neck, even as he considered just how he was going to scalp this weirdo. Soon however, that thrift store ronin was blitzing toward him again. And with a snarl, Wendigo actually ran -forward- to meet the bastard head on! This of course got a pair of Jitte wrapped around his back and leg as Katana attempted to 'lift' him. But while that put a lot of unfortunate pressure against his bones and caused his spine to bend in an uncomfortable manner, it also got him well within Bushido Boy's guard, something he planned to take full advantage of.

"Hey buddy. That helmet head-proof?"

It was a rhetorical question, because soon Wendigo's hands both reached out to grab that head steady while his skull came down, aiming right for that metal helmet!

If that hit, and only if that hit, would Wendigo grab at the samurai's general body region, to hoist him up in the air, and slam him down against the ground just like a ragdoll. Even though he preferred to blow away an opponent from a distance, Wendigo had no problem stomping them into mulch the old fashioned way!

COMBATSYS: Katana blocks Wendigo's Aggressive Strike.

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Katana           0/-------/--=====|======-\-------\0          Wendigo


Behind the mask, he practically weeps manly tears of joy.

The fact Wendigo was facing him head on was more than enough evidence of his COWBOY PASSION. "I AM READY TO RECEIVE YOUR COWBOY PASSION!" He declares as he struggles to lift the titan of an albino. As Wendigo smashes his head into Katana's own, the samurai can only answer. "YES!"

"YES IT IS!"

As he is hoisted into the air, he is slammed down all right. But not as a rag doll, no. As a man. A full man, as he rights himself, slamming down hard on his feet. Wendigo was not yielding, and now, neither was Katana. "THIS IS AMAZING!" He erupts, as he now attempts to reverse the reverse against him! Attempting to catch a jitte in Wendigo's knee, he tries to flip him on the ground with less slam, and more merit.

"PERHAPS THIS WILL WORK THIS TIME!"

COMBATSYS: Katana successfully hits Wendigo with Medium Throw.

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Katana           0/-------/--=====|=======\-------\1          Wendigo


Wendigo shook out his head but couldn't do much more as this creepy little bastard was proving harder to put down than he originally thought. And soon the entire world blurred because his knee was pulled out from under him, and down he went into the ground, the back of his skull smacking hard against the polished wooden floor so hard he bit his tongue and spots exploded from behind those blood-red eyes.

But it sure wouldn't look like he was just rocked to Hell and back, because he was rolling backward, landing up on his feet standing arrogantly, the weapon on his back having been unslung somehow, and now was right at his opponent. The hammer of that sawed-off was pulled back. And the trigger was squeezed.

CH-CH-BOOM!

COMBATSYS: Katana endures Wendigo's Double Barrel of Monkeys.

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Katana           0/-------/=======|=======\-------\1          Wendigo


Little by Wendigo standards.

But the 6-foot weirdo was stalled out against the 7-foot freak. As he trips the alibino cowboy to the ground, he backs off, jitte out. He had his space now. But now, Wendigo had his space too. Empty sockets look back into those crimson eyes, expressionless, emotionless. The shotgun is whipped out, and Katana begins to move. Approaching Wendigo, as both barrels are unleashed into his chest.

And he just takes it.
Oh, it slows him down. The buckshot smashes into his armor, penetrating it clearly. But it is becoming apparent what kind of man is under that body armor: he doesn't stop. He just keeps rushing towards Wendigo, picking up speed. Weapons out, he calls out to his opponent. "YOU ARE PROVING YOURSELF MORE THAN WORTHY FOR MERCENARY WORK!" He exclaims, as he attempts to catch the giant in his train of pain. If he gets caught between those weapons, Katana will just push him down to the ground, and scrape him along the floor, knocking over table, chair, and bottles of beer on the ground.

Until he ignites into flame.

COMBATSYS: Wendigo interrupts Daikyou Burning from Katana with Knife Flurry.
- Power hit! -

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Katana           1/-------/=======|=======\-------\1          Wendigo


Both barrels were emptied right into the chest of his opponent, and the sucker just took it. Ok, that was impressive. But the big man wasn't worried, he just knew he had to take this joker a bit more seriously. In the heat of battle he didn't quite make out whatever the goon was saying, and thanks to that mask, lip-reading wasn't an option. So, 'Merc' was heard, but it would be a while before that malicious, malevolent brain took to process it. And until then, he had derail this goddamn train!

That came from the row of knives strapped across his chest. As that sawed-off was quickly holstered with incredible speed and accuracy, the first of those razor-sharp points was taken out, and thrown right at the right leg of Katana, the meat of the thigh just above the knee. What came next was a frenzy, Wendigo dancing and leaping around the masked man in circles, throwing knife after knife at and into his foe, not stopping until one row was completely empty, and Wendigo was 'dancing' backward in a lazy, sloppy boxing stance. Clearly, this fight was taking it's toll on him. Stamina was never his strongest suit, after all.

And the rape train gets derailed.

"KNIVES?!" Is what registers from the samurai as the charge is met with sudden stabs. Armor-avoiding stabs, in fact. The man stabs the leg of the man, and before Katana knows it, he is being encircled by the knives. The blood was flowing now, in more than one sense of the word; with that fierce counter attack, Katana was hemorraging out badly. And to that, he shouts.

"COWBOYS DON'T USE KNIVES!"

Limping slightly, the Samurai hurls himself towards the awaiting Wendigo. The tone of the Samurai was hurt, and even angry. He had, after all, had his favorite move utterly stopped cold by such GUILE and TRICKERY. "I WILL THUMP YOU, BAKA!" He roars, as he swings his jitte again and again, attempting to overrun his larger opponent with sheer aggression. Wendigo was slowing down, that was certain.

But Katana was only speeding up.

COMBATSYS: Wendigo dodges Katana's Power Strike.

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Katana           1/-------/=======|=======\-------\1          Wendigo


The big ivory bruiser was slowing down a bit, and was currently downing a half-empty bottle of JD that was left on the table next to him. But one eye was kept open, and when his foe turned his way and started blitzing toward him, that's when Wendigo moved. He ran toward the bastard to meet him head-on again, but this time it was a feint, this time he had more of a plan. At the last moment Wendigo dove into a roll just past that wild Jitte frenzy, standing quickly, and striking quickly, without waiting.

Katana might have played football, so he would have appreciated the flawless field goal kick, if it wasn't from behind. And aimed straight for the place where his armor cracked. And sent hard enough to take the sandal-wearing doofus off his feet. If it connected.

COMBATSYS: Katana fails to counter Strong Kick from Wendigo with Shiraha Catch.

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Katana           1/---====/=======|=======\=------\1          Wendigo


Katana was going full retard.

And you never go full retard.

As his flailing weapons are nimbly (or perhaps drunkedly) evaded, the onslaught does not stop. He keeps swinging his weapons around, trying to draw him in. Bottles are smashed. But as Wendigo takes his tumble, Katana attempts to catch that kick with the same flailing weapons. But something happens.

Wendigo is too fast.

Katana yelps in a high pitched squeal as he is punted clear off his feet. Both jitte are knocked clear from his hands, clattering to the ground. Katana falls flat on his face right into one of the chairs, landing mask first into floorboard. There is a low moan, followed by a high pitch groan as he struggles to rise up.

"... That's not cool, brah..." He states, bitterly.

Katana was knocked prone, hitting the ground hard, and Wendigo didn't hesitate. He stomped around the Breathless Bushi and grabbed one of the chairs, easily uprooting it after discovering it was nailed down. Sitting in front of his armored opponent, Wendigo slowly took out his sawed-off, snapping it open and letting the two empty red shells pop out to clatter on the ground next to the Mad Gear member's head, and Wendigo took his time putting in two yellow ones, a bit more ominous. The look on his face was cold, and finally, that favored tool of his was ready and aimed, almost point blank, at the face of his enemy. He would wait until the fucker looked up at him, before pulling the hammer back and...






"...Hey, wait a minute. Did you say mercenary work? Is that what this was about?"

COMBATSYS: Wendigo takes no action.

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Katana           1/---====/=======|=======\-------\1          Wendigo


This was the end?

Probably not.

Or at least, if it was the end of anything, it was the end of escalations. As Wendigo readies himself for the coup de grace, Katana has just enough time to look... straight at Wendigo's shins. Looking up was HARD while wearing the mask, helmet, and armor. But as he rises up, Wendigo ceases the final blow by... asking about the work "Yes..." he begins, before energetically correcting himself.

"I mean, HAI!"

Reaching under his armor flaps just below his chest, the samurai of the syndicate retrieves an ancient scroll case, embedded with rhinestones and gold paint. Unscrewing the top, he draws out a small, rolled up contract on normal stationary. "I REPRESENT MAD GEAR! WE ARE LOOKING FOR MERCENARIES TO FIGHT LOCAL GANGSTERS! I WAS TOLD A MIGHTY COWBOY WAS HERE, AND YOU WERE A MIGHTY COWBOY! WE WILL PAY YOU LOTS OF MONEY! I MEAN, LOOK AT THAT MONEY! THAT'S A LOT! Wait." Katana begins to glance at it more.

"That IS a lot!"

COMBATSYS: Katana takes no action.

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Katana           1/---====/=======|=======\-------\1          Wendigo


That scroll was immediately snatched from the hands of the samurguy who right now resembled a porcupine from all those blades sticking out of him. Wendigo didn't care, he was busy studying that scroll, and muttering to himself as he went over the fine print, and the fine-fine print, snorting once or twice and twirling that sawed-off in his idle hand. Finally he nodded, tossing said scroll back at Katana haphazardly.

"Price's a bit low, but with this economy and all, beggars can't be choosers, right? Go get my coat and hat, and gimme back my damn knives, and you got yerself a deal, Kaytahnah."

He turned to the side, coughing and spitting up a rather large wad of blood that clung to one of the nearby chairs, and shook his head.

"Goddamn yer tougher than ya look, boy. I almost hada kill you!"

This made him laugh, as the shotgun he'd been twirling went off, aimed at the sky. Instantly a big, man-sized hole was punched right through the ceiling, bringing down lights and plywood all around them. And that's what was aimed right at the skull of Katana only a moment go.

"HAI."

That was the response from Katana. After the scroll is ripped away, he sort of... kicks his foot about awkwardly. He stumbles across the room, picking up his jitte. The club was deserted now, and probably police were on the way. But as the scroll is tossed back at him, he flails a bit, trying to catch it with his jitte... and failing. Hooking the weapons on his belt again, he bends down to pick up the paper again. Listening to him, looks deadpan at the merc as he tucks away the contract back into the scroll. And after the gun goes off, Katana doesn't even flinch. He just stands there.

"HAI."

He pauses a moment. Bending his knees, he struggles to look up. He backs up more, until finally, he can kind of get a look at the hole. "Oh. OH." He look back towards Wendigo.

"THANK YOU FOR NOT KILLING ME."

COMBATSYS: Wendigo has left the fight here.

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Katana           1/---====/=======|

Log created on 21:04:46 02/07/2014 by Katana, and last modified on 15:03:49 02/08/2014.