Description: Enjoying some post-mission down-time, Guile parties with the groovy kids of Delta Sigma Phi on Party Beach! Life lessons are learned and Adon's Alpha Mu Tai fraternity is foiled! Guile is still the Big Kahuna!
Autumn Nights On the Coast of Thailand.
Or for the college crowd, SPRING BREAK! With the war coming to a close, the frat boys of Delta Sigma Phi decided to take their girlfriends and trustfunds out to the beaches of Thailand, to enjoy the tropical weather, the low crowds recovering for the war, and cheap hotel prices! As the sun holds high, the beach is alive with partying, drinking, and smooching. A volleyball game is bouncing between a bunch of bikini-clad girls and their well-tanned boyfriends. As the boyfriend knocks the ball wide out of the court, a bikini-clad girl soon learns the real meaning of Spring Break:
Saving the turtles of course.
"Why look Charlie, look at the baby turtles!" One of the bikini'd babes, chasing after the stray volleyball, suddenly stops, pointing a finger at the little turtle eggs that were beginning to hatch at the shore of the Thailand beach. The muscled-headed boyfriend, running over, holds his girlfriend by her waist, looking at the turtles. "Good grief, Lucy, they are just turtles. We got plenty of turtles back in the University!" Lucy just gives Charlie a -look-. "You blockhead, you know those sea turtles are endangered! Wow, they must have laid their eggs during the war! Isn't it ironic how even the most terrible of wars can create the most wondrous of life?" The words fall of deaf ears, and Charlie, breaking free of his lover, picks up a nearby stick. "I want to get a closer look, and see if I can goof around with the turtles!" Approaching the struggle baby turtles, Lucy suddenly gasps, covering her mouth.
"Charlie! No!"
Guile is currently enjoying the post-mission cool-down on the beautiful beaches of Thailand. He walks the waterline, dressed down to a half-removed wetsuit, with a Big Kahuna surfboard the size the main dining room table in Ken Master's rediculously well-appointed house. He scans the beach from behind a pair of aviator sunglasses, his line of sight cruising along until he spots Charlie and his tree-hugging hippy girlfriend.
He pauses in his step, turning to walk towards the arguing couple. He looks down just before he steps into the turtle nest, backing up a step as realization crosses his face. He looks between the nest, then looks up to Charlie, then back down to the nest. Charlie. Nest. Nest. Charlie. Girlfriend. Girlfriend's boobs, but only for a moment, just to lodge a mental vote on the real/fake issue. Back to Charlie.
Guile clears his throat and asks, "Just what the deuce are you expecting to do with that stick, son?"
It takes a moment for the beach to recognize who was coming closer. As Guile closes in the, beach is abuzz with activity. Jet Skiers, Motorboaters, and surfers suddenly pile on to the beach, away from the nest, to get a closer look. Lucy herself turns over to Guile as Charlie stops just short of poking one of the turtles with a stick. The cry from the crowd could not be more clear.
"Wow! It is Air Force Pilot Guile!"
Charlie, suddenly looking downright embarrassed, tries to hide the stick behind him. "Well, Guile Sir, I was just curious about the turtles, so I wanted to get a closer look at them and poke them a bit, to play with them! I didn't think it would do any harm! I mean, aren't turtles really tough with their shells?" Charlie tries hard to look innocent, while Lucy begins to inspect how tight that wetsuit is on the American Soldier.
Almost as tight as HER swimsuit is on her.
As people begin closing in around him, Guile turns to take a gander. He really is drawing a crowd at this point, causing the Air Force officer to give a frustrated huff. So much for peace and quiet on the beach now. He turns back to the college-aged kid, Charlie, and shakes his head, "Can't do that. Baby turtles have soft shells. You can actually injur them."
What with the crowd gathering around, Guile seems in the uncomfortable position of teaching this kid a lesson without resorting to the usual textbooks (Sonic Boom and Flash Kick). He seems to be searching for the right words for a moment before he finally continues, "Plus, that particular species of sea turtle is endangered. And it farts oxygen. So it's important. To the enviroment. And stuff." Please, please, please just let the damn turtles be so Guile can go back to surfing.
Please?
Charlie nods his head dully. "Wow, I didn't know that about turtles sir. I will be careful from now on with wildlife! I will learn to love the environment as much as I love my special someone!" That is, just long enough to get the goods out, and then leaving it alone and broken in the slut dumpster. The crowd begins to cheer and chant for Guile, clapping their hands at the environmental message, while a band begins to pick up, playing a wild surfing rock tune.
Suddenly, a scream erupts.
Cruising along the shallows of the water, a very familiar face suddenly zooms along with a loud, brightly-colored Jetski. Following him, was a team of six attractive bikini'd women. Buzzin the water by the nest, Lucy screams, beginning to sob. "OH NO! It is Alpha Mu Tai! And their leader, Adon!" Howling with laughter, the Emperor of Muay Thai is dressed in only his swimtrunks, shooting along in his jetski. "I! ADON! THE EMPEROR OF MUAY THAI! Declare this BEACH to be PROPERTY of MUAY THAI! ALL AMERICAN SQUARES SHOULD LEAVE THEIR WOMEN FOR ALPHA MU TAI!"
It seems that Adon is not only polluting the noise, but coming dangerously close to the baby turtles. Lucy continues to cry, Charlie being absolutely no emotional support whatever. "Guile! If Adon continues to frighten the turtles, it might cause them all to be scared, or worse, emotionally dysfunctional! And then they can't fart air, and they will go extinct, and the delicate balance of nature will be ruined forever! Can't you do something to scare that eco-bully away?" Lucy falls to her knees, clinging to Guile's leg, looking as pitiful as she can be.
Meanwhile, Charlie breaks for the beach for one of the abandoned jetskis. "Don't worry Lucy! I'll scare off that bully by riding a jetski up to him and tell him the lesson that Guile told me! This will totally work!"
It should totally work.
Guile reaches forward to clasp Charlie on the shoulder for a moment, and then gives the college aged kid a thumbs up! When the music starts, Guile begins to bounce up and down to the beat, turning left and right in 180 degree archs. His surfboard, while huge, does not seem to hinder the man until he stops to straighten his flat top. He goes about it the best he can one-handed, stopping still as the scream erupts. Guile turns to see the cause of the effect, seeming awfully concerned that Adon is cruising along the beach on his jetski, planting the flag of Muay Thai upon it.
He looks down towards Lucy as she grabs onto his leg, his eyes widen in concern as he tries to figure out what to do in this situation that doesn't involve a kick, punch, or guided missile strike. He draws away from her as far as he can without actually ripping his leg from her grasp, going so far as to drag her a few inches at a time as he tries to free himself, "Sure.. but ya' gotta'... let... go..." He finally extricates himself from the grasp of the bikini clad girl just as Charlie jumps on the jetski.
Guile takes a few steps towards Charlie and calls after him, "That's right! Be proactive about the environment! You tell him what I told you, then you dodge the sudden yet inevitable betrayal!" He look back towards Lucy, nodding his head with a satisfied expression.
"This should work."
*Two Minutes Later*
"KYA HA HA! A BRO!? More like, A BRA!" The jetski that once held Charlie bubbles as it sinks beneath the waves, as the college kid himself flails about in the water. Adon sneers down, pointing and laughing at Charlie as his Muay Thai wenches all titter along. The Emperor continues. "I! ADON! THE EMPEROR OF MUAY THAI! Find your attempts to protect the baby turtles amusing! In fact, so amusing that the EMPEROR will find it even FUNNIER if he ruins YOUR FUN!" Turning towards the beach, Adon raises his hands in the air, staring them down. "I! ADON! THE EMPEROR OF MUAY THAI! Has DECLARED WAR on the BABY TURTLES of PARTY BEACH!"
"TONIGHT I DINE ON TURTLE SOUP!"
Revving up the jetski, he leaves the sputtering Charlie behind as he beelines his jetski right for the beach and the baby turtles within. Lucy, stilling clinging on to Guile, screams. "GUILE! Charlie can't swim! But the turtles are doomed if Adon reaches them! What will you do? Risk everything to save the vigilante, Charlie; or fulfill your duty to save the sweet baby turtles?" As Adon approaches, Guile must make a decision:
If he wishes to save Charlie, turn to page 63.
Should he instead try to save the turtles, turn to page 91.
Guile's eyes widen as his emmisary of tree-hugging and beach-loving is left to flounder. He looks down towards Lucy again, his eyebrows knitting together as she explains the situation in detail. He looks back to Adon and nods, "Right! I'll show him who the Big Kahuna is on this beach!"
"Just as soon as you let go of my leg."
Guile takes a few hops to extricate himself from the death-grip of Lucy, the bikini-clad beach babe and then runs for the ocean. Just before hitting the water line, he looks back towards the group, "I'll dazzle him with my surf moves, rescue Charlie, than swoop back around in time to save the baby turtles!"
Setting the plan into action, Guile runs out into the water and jumps, landing flat on his surfboard. He begins paddling towards Adon, sitting up and sending a huge splash of water towards the jetski riding Muay Thai fighter. He then points a finger and states boldly, "Back off! I'm the Big Kahuna of this beach! If you want those baby turtles, you'll have to defeat me first! TONIGHT YOU DINE ON FIST!"
The threat made, Guile continues to paddle out towards the waves, turning as a big one comes.
What occurs next is a cinematic masterpiece of what looks like a guy standing on a dining room table in front of a movie projector playing a move of a big beach wave.
He does have some moves, too!
Charlie continues to flail about, gasping for air. As Lucy continues to sob, Guile springs to action. But What about Adon? What about the turtles? Well, as Adon approaches.... he is suddenly splashed by the surfboard. Stopping the jetski in the water, the Emperor begins to sputter, wiping the salty water from his eyes. And he says only one word, in utter rage.
"GUILE"
As the American swims out to the surf, the EMPEROR seeths and screams. Guile, however, seems to keep surfing in place. Charlie suddenly begins to tumble and roll, and with a great leap, jumps on the board with Guile. "WHOA! I didn't know you soldiers had such sweet moves!" Struggling to balance on the board, the crowd at the beach cheers. That, of course, only make Adon even more hot under the collar. Revving up the jetski, he brings it around, aiming it right at the surfing Guile. Lucy, at the beach, screams. "GUILE! LOOK OUT!" With a roar, Adon launches himself in a cut towards what must be where Guile is, since when it cuts back, it cuts to Guile surfing in not a soundstage. The Emperor knew what he was exactly up to. He would get back at Guile.
By playing chicken.
Guile nods his head as Charlie hops on to the board, "Nice try, little buddy!" He then gives the college student a thumbs-up and responds, "Just try to keep your balance!" He turns his attention back to Adon as they continue riding the wave back toward the beach.
OH NO! Adon has intercepted them on his jetski and he's coming straight for them! What will Guile do?!
The street fighter/surf god angles the board almost 360 degrees to ride back towards the top of the wave. He calls back to Charlie, "Hang on!" The two go airbourne over the wave and high into the air. Guile's feet seperate from the board and the momentum of the jump continues to carry them upwards. Guile reaches out, grabbing the board and tucking it under his arm in bullet time while the college kid hangs on tight to Guile. They turn in midair, the soldier dragging both the kid and the board around. As he spots Adon, he pulls back with the board and then launches it towards the jetski of the Muay Thai fighter!
"SONIC BOARD!"
Charlie looks nervous at first, but with Guile taking the lead, he begins to smile, taking the surfing in stride. "Yeah! Surfs up, dude! Wow Guile, I didn't know you were so strong." Charlie begins to blush profusely. But there was no time for love to bloom on the battlefield. As Guile pulls his fantastic surf trick, Charlie hangs on tight to his savior, with the gasps erupting on the beach. Adon stares at Guile dumbly as he turns his head around, turning a blind eye to the oncoming surfboard...
*WHAM*
Adon takes the broad with a full frontal force, knocking him clean off the jetski, which begins to slow down to a safer speed. Adon sinks beneath the waves, as the entire beach roars with cheers as the Emperor is stopped. Lucy swoons, and even the turtles look at Guile, a shed tears of joy at the all American heroism. The muay thai wenches clasp their hands together, eyes wide at Guile.
"Oh, the American has won! How big and strong!"
With his board well out of hand now, Guile and Charlie land with a splash in the water. He grabs on to the arm of the college kid and begins swimming through the water to the beach. He trudges up onto the shore with Charlie in hand to the cheering of Delta Sigma Phi and assorted bikini babes. Members of the frat run up to surround Charlie, telling him 'good job' and 'one second longer and I would've been right there with you!' Guile, with his flat-top still perfectly intact, nods to the bikini babes, "Ladies." Then shoots a salute to the men of Delta Sigma Phi, "Girls." Then finally he shoots a winning smile and a wink to the women of Alpha Mu Tai, "Wenches."
"Let's party down with some more surf rock n' roll!"
The band, probably Captain Geech and the Shrimp Shack Shooters, begin playing another bouncy surf rock tune as everyone gets up and starts dancing.
The party on party beach begins to pick up as Guile, the college kids, and the Muay Thai wenches begin to boogie down. Captain Geech on the mic, and the Shrimp Shack Shooters backing him up, begin to play a song.
Go Go Guile!
Surfin' Soldier Extordinaire!
Go Go Guile!
With Super Hair
Knocking Adon From the Air!
He's One Cool Cat
Who Knows What's At!
Go Go Guile!
Meanwhile, near the turtle nest, a fair distance away from the party-goers, a mass of seaweeds wash up. Adon, wrapped in sealife, groans in pain, spitting up water. Raising a fist high in the air, the Emperor shakes it at the party-goers "Guuuuile. Some day Guile! I! ADON! THE EMPEROR OF MUAY THAI! WILL-"
The Emperor is cut short by the crashing wave.
Log created on 21:48:12 03/15/2012 by Guile, and last modified on 00:56:53 03/16/2012.