Description: A grand celebration is held in the NATO base after Vega's defeat, and who better to cater this grand event than none other than El Fuerte Luchador! Unfortunately with Cammy being there, it makes things a little awkward for the wrestler which in turn causes Commander Guile to end the debacle by blowing Fuerte's food cart to smithereens! Or at least he tries to.
Really the end of war should be considered a good thing, and in the NATO camp on the border with China, there is certainly an atmosphere of some celebration. Most of the troops are being swiftly demobbed and sent home now that Vega/China has been dealt with, and the vast majority of soldiers are plenty happy that they aren't going to have to risk their lives to Stop Evil.
Cammy White however doesn't quite have that opinion herself. Late to the party, she has apparently managed to miss the war aside from a tiny bit of patrolling, just when she was starting to enjoy the company of all these soldiers from all over the world. She gets settled, and it's already time to go home.
The various camps are being packed up therefore, vehicles loaded, transport planes busy on the makeshift airstrip, but Cammy is loitering around at the perimeter just on the other side of the barbed wire, arms wrapped around herself to ward against the Russian cold, for it is only spring. Trying to talk to the French perimeter guards, and failing. But Guile did say that learning a language is a good thing, so she's trying. And failing.
Victory at last! Though perhaps his homeland is still strife with conflict, El Fuerte can take comfort knowing that the world is now free from Vega's malicious hold and that he did his part to stop him. Truly a great victory for not only Lucha Libre, but to all the free people of the world.
Though he survived the catastrophic explosion that sent him blasting out of China along with the rest of his motley crew, El Fuerte wasn't blasted out with a one way ticket back to Mexico as he had expected. But instead landing somewhere out in the border of China where the rest of the NATO troops had camped out. Once they informed him of the victory over Shadaloo, the great Fuerte Luchador decides to celebrate in the best way he can.
By holding a Fiesta!
"Mon dieu! Je manger un merde!!"
"My face!! MY FACE IS PEELING OFF! OH GOD!"
Shouts of pain in a multitude of languages herald Fuerte's food cart as he gleefully starts handing out his own very recipes, cooked with...whatever the hell he could find in a warzone. The result is predictable, most soldiers that try to eat from the things he cooked bend over and start spassing out as if they had just eaten rat poison. It's a sight few could miss and probably draws a fair bit of attention. El Fuerte though doesn't looked disheartened by their reaction, in fact, he's laughing.
"Yes yes! The burning is how you know it has good seasoning!"
Well, at least he's not charging anything.
Cammy can hardly fail to notice El Fuerte, as he cuts a colourful figure amidst the army green. And is apparently leaving a swathe of devastation in his wake. Her nose twitches a bit at a hint of what it is that he is purveying to the unfortunate troops - and she shakes her head a little, braids swinging gently behind her back, with a serious look on her face. "Why on earth do people do that to themselves." she wonders aloud to the French guys next to her, who are probably saying likewise in French. "Is it some sort of test of manliness or something?".
As it certainly seems that despite the evidence of what is going to happen to the unfortunates who eat this stuff plenty more are lined up to give it a go. Cammy just sighs, and puts her hands on her hips as the food cart draws near to where she is.
Moving towards the sounds of troops in gastointestinal distress at a brisk jog, Guile comes up beside Cammy with a concerned and slightly pissed off look on his face. In one hand he has a folded magazine, Golf Digest it reads on the cover. In the other, a nearly full roll of one-ply bathroom tissue.
He takes a long look around at the devastation and comments to Cammie, "It's either a test of manliness, or sending a Mexican food cart through a military base is the new poisoning the water supply." He looks back towards Cammy for a moment, "Do you know the joker in the mask?"
Thankfully for El Fuerte he is blissfully unaware that most of the troops are either, incredibly desperate to eat anything other than MREs and Chinese noodles to brave the luchador's cooking or they are in fact having a test of who is the most macho amongst them. Because no one on their right mind would eat his food willingly, /no one/. A fact that a certain willy luchador remains pretty ignorant off.
Surveing the scene of destruction he has caused, El Fuerte starts taking some notes in what ways he could improve his cooking "Clearly this recipe needs more mustard and pickles!" Reasons he before from the corner of his eye he spots familiar swaying pig tails that draw his attention up from his note pad.
"Que...chingados..?" Is his eyes fooling him? That woman looks like the one that lead the attack to the United States! And she's clearly not a prizewinner! What is she doing here?? "Excuse me Caballeros." Says the luchador to his victims as he slowly starts to approach Cammy and Guile who are apparently trying to look inauspicious.
Cammy jumps a little when Guile suddenly shows up next to her. The Captain certainly has eyes everywhere on his base when trouble is around. Even if trouble is merely El Fuertes culinary WMD. "Er, no sir!" she tells him, and then turns back towards El Fuerte, who is now in talking range.
Spanish is another language that Cammy does not know, so she has no idea what the hell he's saying. Her blue eyes just widen fractionally as he draws near. And he's staring at her too. Not too surprising really, she thinks, given this uniform; she just sighs a little, and makes a mental note to suggest to Captain Wolfman a few alterations. "You don't exactly look like a cook." she tells El Fuerte. "Much more colourful. And er, well.". Politeness forbids her from tearing into his apparent lack of culinary talent.
Guile is looking just as auspicious as a six foot tall, muscle-bound, pissed-off commando can look. He glares down El Fuerte as the luchador approaches. He briefly glances towards the downed soldiers and then back towards El Fuerte until the luchador approaches.
Guile is looking just as auspicious as a six foot tall, muscle-bound, pissed-off commando can look. He glares down El Fuerte as the luchador approaches. He briefly glances towards the downed soldiers and then back towards El Fuerte until the luchador approaches.
The US special forces commando seems to have no such politeness forbidding him to speak poorly of El Fuerte's culinary skill or lack thereof. Especially in light of such overwhelming proof to the later. Guile clears his voice and speaks in the most refined Military academy graduate voice he can muster, "Excuse me, senor. What are serving these soldiers? Corn and crap burritos? Look at these people. They're dropping like acid at a Pink Floyd concert! And just how did you get toritillas in Russia? Did you smuggle them in small, indigestable plastic bags? Look, it is my duty to deliver these soldiers in fighting condition. Cease immediately!"
El Fuerte's direct trajectory towards Cammy is stopped only because Guile turns to glare at him. Unlike what most would expect however, El Luchador only goes to turn deftly at the commando and glare right back with sharp eyes, he's a goofball to a certain extend and sometimes a buffoon, but he can be quite vicious when it comes to challenges. "Ey!" He raises his hands up showing ignorance in how is one to address military personnel, in fact he probably does know but has nothing but contempt for the army. "How about showing a little more respect gringo?? I helped save your country!"
Then a turn to look at Cammy and points directly to the woman. "From her in fact! Why is she walking around freely?? Is she not an enemy? Last time I saw this muchacha she was attacking Texas with Shadaloo and los Zetas!" The question about what in earth is El Fuerte giving those soliders to eat is completely ignored. Maybe that's why he still doesn't know his food is terrible, he's really good at changing the topic.
"Wha? I rather doubt it." Cammy tells El Fuerte, unamused by the accusations, or by his lack of military etiquette. "There's no way Delta Red would do anything like that. And what are you doing on this base anyway? You're not a soldier, and you're not a cook either evidently.". Politeness be damned!
"And what's a muchaca anyway." she wonders, nose wrinkling a little. It doesn't sound very complimentary at any rate! She points to the trail of devastation behind El Fuerte, troops rolling on the floor in agony, medics rushing forward with stomach pumps, sewage technicians in a dead faint. "One thing is very certain though, you're not exactly helping the war effort with your poison! It's just as well the war is over after all.".
Guile takes a step forward, leveling his hawk-like glare at the luchadore and pointing the roll of toilet paper at him, "This has nothing to do with respect for anything you've done in my country, cabrone. This is about dropping either contaminated or nuclear spiced food on soldiers who have had nothing to eat but solid blandness for almost a month."
He glances towards Cammy for a moment and replies off-handedly, "A muchacha is a woman of questionable virtue, I think."
The Air Force captain then looks back towards El Fuerte and continues, "She is not the enemy. I have assurances from her government, my government, and hell... Even this short little Mexican major kind of shrugged his shoulders and said quien importa. So don't change the subject."
Delta Red? That's not how you spell Shadaloo! El Fuerte's eyes narrow at Cammy when she dismisses any ties she had with the enemy and even goes to question /his/ integrity instead. He! Who has done so much to foil Vega's plans and was even there fighting the good lucha when he tried to nuke the world. Talk about where is his respect, hombre. "Damn right I'm not a soldier." Responds the wrestler making a dramatic flair of his hand "I am /A LUCHADOR/ and I have been fighting against Shadaloo ever since the war started." He even flashes them a credential marking him as a 'Friendly'. Read 'em and weep.
"No, you're thinking Puta." Says he to Guile and backs away from the toiler paper wagged at him looking angry about the gesture. "Muchacha just means girl."
After his quick explanation he once again /completely/ evades the topic about his food and focuses on Cammy again. "Seriously! Have you all gone muy loco!? This woman attacked Texas! I fought her, I was there! She tried to kick me!" A very heinous act if one were to ask him. "I may not be an American citizen but I demand an explanation from your government!"
Cammy eyes the soldiers behind El Fuerte. "Well, you're fighting Nato now." she tells him drily. As she isn't the angry sort, she lets the muchaca thing go. "I was fighting Shadaloo too, in fact thats why I was in a hospital this last week!" she points out to him. "I'm not sure why you are coming here to /my/ base, which I have been assigned to, and giving me a hard time. Either you have me confused with someone else or you're just insane.".
She frowns at him, and reaches up to adjust her red beret. "I think someone trying to kick you could be explainable in any number of ways without resorting to conspiracy. Look, I have my papers around here somewhere, I've got a commanding officer and everything. I'm only here because I was ordered to be here! And you don't have any reason to be here at all.".
Angling his eyes down towards the ID card presented by the lucadore, Guile nods his head after a moment and looks towards Cammy, "Well, he's not really answering questions is he? Whatever shall we do?" He smirks and then continues in a sharper voice, "Agent White, you will varify his identification with the HQ tent via radio while I call in an air strike on his Food Cart de la Diablo."
He takes a step away, reaching to his webbelt and removing a radio. He keys in a number of keys and then hits the Push-To-Talk button, "Fast Mover 5-7-2, this is Captain William Guile of the US Joint Special Operations Command, authorization Whiskey-Tango-Foxtrot-6-9er-2. I need a danger-close precision airstrike on the following coordinates. PREPARE TO COPY!" Release.
El Fuerte looks behind him when Cammy suggests that he's poisoning the NATO forces on purpose. "What? Them!? I was giving them a favor! I must say all your food rations are very unhealthy, not to mention lack much zest! I have ensured that these man now have nothing but fire in their bellies!"
Indeed, a French soldier is seen dragging himself towards a medic muttering "Si vou plait...si vou plait.." Feeling nothing /but/ fire in his belly.
"See!?" Well Cammy just swears up and down that she is not with Shadaloo and giving that she doesn't act like the robotic Cammy El Fuerte knows he's starting to have his doubts. "Hmm...perhaps you have an evil twin seņorita." It's quite a possibility given what he has seen recently. "Would I really be insane to think such? Would I really??"
The answer is yes, yes he would.
Just as Cammy begins to fumble about for her paperworks, Guile suddenly gets the very daft idea of bombing his food cart. Typical American! His solution for everything is always to just blow it the hell up without considering the consequences. "No! Wait! Estupido! I have tons of the most powerful species there! You're gonna spread them everywhere!" And do they really want whatever it was that El Fuerte was giving the soldiers out in the atmosphere?
Cammy was going to borrow a radio from the French perimeter guards, but events seem to be happening too quickly for her to really bother. She turns to the soldiers - she hears the sound of airstrike orders - she turns back. Well, she heard a few tales from the Delta Red veterans about working with Americans, now she'll be able to add one of her own!
"Airstrikes? uhm. I think the biowarfare boys might advise against that, Captain..." she says diplomatically. "Evil twin? I think you probably are just mistaken. And why are you so intent on bringing your horrible peppers into our base! Really.". Her hands are on her hips again, her best disapproving look being used. She may look very young but she can certainly muster up the manner of a headmistress when required. "Some of those unfortunates whose inside you are turning inside out are my friends you know. And to think I heard a joke about British cuisine this morning. Unjustified.".
She turns back to the terrified French soldiers, borrows a radio, starts talking. Somewhere along the line she peers at El Fuertes ID.
"Fast Mover 5-7-2, stand by one."
Guile turns back to El Fuerte, dropping the radio down to his side. He grits his teeth and then goes back to speaking in a barely calm tone of voice, "Alright, Mister Fuerte. You have three options here. One, you cease distributing anything over 200 units on the skovel scale immediately and you can keep your cart. Two, you continue to distribute beligerantly hot food to these soldiers, and you become persona non grata in this encampment. Essentially, you get to sit outside and the biowarfare boys figure out how to properly dispose of your goods with the least damage to the enviroment. Third, you continue to distribute beligerantly hot food to these soldiers and we find out if you and your roach coach can outrun a AGM-65D from an F/A-18 Hornet and a Sonic Boom from me."
Guile takes a deep breath, his voice turning almost conversational, "You'll notice that options two and three carry the same enactment conditions. I just want to let you know how that works. You choose betweens Options 1 and 2 or 3. I choose if it'll be option 2 or 3, rank hathing its privledge or whatever. Comprende, amigo?"
El Fuerte may act as if he's totally insane, and he may very well be, but he knows what he saw and that was Cammy in a Shadaloo uniform fighting alongside the Chinese and the Zetas cartel whilst the tried to invade the United States. One does not simply disregard that and moves on with things, he will get to the bottom of this! No ally of the cartel is safe from the spicy Luchador. "They're habaneros!" Corrects the wrestler glancing at Cammy whilst she's inspecting his ID. "And I will find out who you really are, so says I! El Fueeeeeerte!"
Guile suddenly decides to be a stick in the mud and breaks his mojo by threatening him with disciplinary actions. "Hmph!" The wrestler scoffs and crosses his arms, but he's no trouble maker (for the most part) and would prefer to keep things from escalating due to a simply misunderstanding. "Very well, since you are clearly just using my food as an excuse from finding out the truth I will take my goods elsewhere." A general groan of relief is heard around the camp. "But I shall return! And you will be hard pressed to find anything in your arsenal to stop me pinche gringo!" He survived an atomic bomb to the face, there's little a missile and a sonic boom from Guile can do to intimidate him.
A glance is given to both Cammy and Guile, his lips curled into a refrained annoyance as he forces himself to give a regal bow. "Caballeros! If you'll excuse me then, it is clear I have yet to perfect my cooking!" You don't say.
The luchador turns abruptly and heads for his food cart to begin pushing it out of the encampment. All fauna and flora that passes instantly withering and dying.
"We can only hope you succeed. Good luck!" Cammy tells El Fuerte, though with some faint amusement. He is a rather funny little man after all. She can say that, as she didn't actually eat any of his stuff, if she did, she'd probably be in seek and destroy mode right now.
Offering the departing Mexican a small wave, she then turns to Guile. "What an odd man. I assume he must be a fighter, with a getup like that on. I might see what files we have on him when we're back home.". There's a slight pause, and she then adds, "You wouldn't /really/ bomb his food cart, would you?". It does seem to be rather excessive firepower to her...
"Arlight, Mr. The Fuerte. You have a good day now."
He lifts the radio up again, just as two F/A-18s pass over the base. Guile clears his throat and presses the button, "Fast Mover 5-2-7, pop to flight level 2-5 and proceed on mission. Guile, out."
He reattaches the radio to his belt as he grins at Cammy, "His intentions were good, but he's a walking pile of paperwork." He turns to watch the direction El Fuerte is egresssing to and then shrugs his shoulders, "He seems nice enough, and I think he is a fighter, yes. Time will tell."
Log created on 12:04:24 03/10/2012 by ElFuerte, and last modified on 22:36:39 03/11/2012.