Description: Ryu and Akuma. Mega Man and Bass. Johnathan Harker and Dracula. Indiana Jones and snakes. Tran and Alan.
DREAM AMUSEMENT PARK
SOME TIME AGO
A small japanese child squeals in delight, pointing and gesticulating wildly at a group of penguins. The penguins remain largely unconcerned, because they have a pool and some tiny chilled fish and they are safe in an enclosed pen, here at the park's small, yet well-funded (and wildly popular) wild animal exhibit.
"Wanna see Bingbong!" The boy(?) tugs at his parent's sleeve and immediately begins dragging them toward the elephant pen, where the small zoo's pride and joy, the gigantic and aptly named God Bingbong, resides.
LIKE TEN SECONDs LATER
The child is screaming incoherently and flying through the air after a /massive explosion/ rocks the area. A carny with a tragic past who is at least ratio two, without even looking up, neatly nets the child out of midair, that he might raise the kid as the heir to his Thousand Floating Paper Net style.
The child never sees his parents again.
MEANWHILE
Dr. Tran is a mess. After getting all his chakras and crap forcefully rearranged by one chi-wielding monk, he has temporarily regained his sanity.
"YOU WANT A PIECE OF THIS, YOU CRAP-ASS ELEPHANT!? COME ON, COME ON, GET SOME OR COUGH UP YOUR SHIT, I KNOW YOU'VE GOTTA HAVE IT AROUND HERE SOMEWHERE!" Arguably, as he is now standing in what used to be a section of fence that is now more like a crater, shouting at an elephant who looks less like he's angry and more like this is the last straw and he is now officially tired of life and all of its crazy bullshit.
Alan R. B. has been, to put it lightly, 'running wild.' That is to say, he wreaked a trail of property damage from quite literally one coast of the United States to the other, starting in Metro City and ending somewhere in Oregon, where to all reports he started sprinting across the surface of the water. He hasn't evaded capture so much as punched a hole right through it. The country's been treating him like a weather report, evacuating people in his as-the-crow-flies path, insurance treating his damages as Acts of God.
A WEEK AGO
THE OREGON COAST
Alan runs down a dock, crackling with purple lightning, bent nearly double. He says, "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF---"
A FEW DAYS AGO
THE MIDDLE OF THE ATLANTIC OCEAN
Alan, crackling with purple lightning, bent nearly double, is running across the surface of the water and just does not give a shit. He says, "--UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU--"
TODAY
SOUND BEACH
Alan R.B., crackling with purple lightning, bent nearly double, transitions from water to surf without missing a step. He puts his head down and crashes through the lifeguard's chair, sending him tumbling into the sand. A sandcastle in his wake is perfectly preserved, and also glass. He says, "--UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKKKKKKKKKKK--"
RIGHT HERE
RIGHT NOW
One second, God Bingbong is just eyeing Tran. The next second, he's tumbling through the air, not even complaining, just resigned to his fate. Fortunately for him, he lands in the World's Largest Hippo Pool, displacing the hippos and drenching people with gallons and gallons of water.
Less fortunately, the space where the elephant was is occupied by a purple streak, and then the space where Tran's is is occupied by a fist. Alan finally comes to a stop, eyes glowing a dull red, clothes ragged because he ran for like a week straight. His hair is still perfect.
He says, "KKKKKKKKKKKKKKK YOU!"
COMBATSYS: Alan has started a fight here.
[\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Alan 0/-------/-------|
COMBATSYS: Alan has awoken his Rage.
[\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Alan [E] 0/-------/-------|
COMBATSYS: Tran has joined the fight here.
[\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > //////////////////////////////]
Tran 0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0 [E] Alan
COMBATSYS: Tran has awoken to his Rage.
[\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > //////////////////////////////]
Tran [E] 0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0 [E] Alan
COMBATSYS: Alan successfully hits Tran with Medium Punch.
- Power hit! -
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > ///////////////////////////// ]
Tran [E] 0/-------/----===|=------\-------\0 [E] Alan
Dr. Richard Tran does not know what the hell Alan R.B. has been up to. In part, this is because the only time he ever watches the news is when he is on it in some capacity. In part, it is because he doesn't give a shit about the supercharged boxer. In part, it is because he just does not give a shit about the man beyond a simmering, almost obligatory hatred.
Also, and let's be honest here, Tran just sort of tends to tune out like ninety percent of the things around him because he's pretty sure he'll hate them anyway. Alan R.B. falls into this category one-hundred percent of the time.
"--huh?" So when Alan R.B. comes charging in from out of what is scientifically quantifiable as nowhere, the doctor is taken pretty much entirely off-guard, especially since he was just getting ready to beat the hell out of an entire elephant.
Tran goes flying backward from the force of the hit, spiralling neatly through the air like a football, neatly received by 'a wall'. It is a testament to amusement park construction standards that it merely dents, letting Tran drop to the ground a moment later. Steam, previously little more than a few thin streamers, abruptly intensifies, billowing off the doctor in heavy waves.
"You...YOU ASSHOLE!" He immediately charges right back to return the favor, fist raised and flying with unnatural speed toward Alan R.B.'s smug-ass face. Yes it is still smug even though he is insane for god's sake LOOK AT THE HAIR. "I WAS SO CLOSE! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!"
Suffice to say, there is another explosion. The smart kids start to run.
COMBATSYS: Tran successfully hits Alan with Medium Punch.
- Power hit! -
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > //////////////////// ]
Tran [E] 0/-------/--=====|=======\-------\0 [E] Alan
Why did Alan run halfway around the entire planet to punch Tran in the face? Because it felt like the thing to do. And now that he's done the thing to do - crackles of purple lightning still hanging in the air - Alan R. B. turns to leave, crouching down, going into a runner's stance - head down, ass up.
So when Tran swings where Alan's head should be, he instead punches him directly - directly - in the taint.
With a bestial howl, the mad boxer tumbles at high-speed into one of God Bingbong's friends (Jesus Morgan, japs don't understand religion), causing the smaller elephant to fall over with a bleat and break a rib, it's a real shame. Alan extracts himself from the pile of elephant, his hair still perfect, and stretches his neck with a series of pops, going perfectly still.
Then he's in front of Tran, shoulder planted in his midsection. Then he leaps into the air, carrying the good doctor with him, fifty feet skyward like a god damn reverse bolt of lightning. "Hey. Heeeey." He whispers, voice ragged and strained. "Hey boy." Alan and Tran separate as they reach the apex of their jump, and the boxer brings his right hand back. "I'm-a punch the shit out of you."
With another shriek, Alan snaps his hand forward, and impacts a plaza surrounded by gorilla cages in yet another instant. They all go completely ape (as expected), and a giant thread of electricity slashes across the space between where Alan was and where he is like a knife wound in reality itself.
Tran is probably in that knife wound.
COMBATSYS: Alan successfully hits Tran with Storm Front.
- Power hit! -
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > ///////////////// ]
Tran [E] 1/------=/=======|=======\==-----\1 [E] Alan
Now, Dr. Tran is a man who is pretty far gone. His hard-won respite from THE HORRORS OF THE RAGE is basically completely cashed out. Some things, though. Some things just make a dude pause.
Tran recoils as if struck upon finding his fist nestled comfortably, even if just for the barest of split-seconds, right up in Alan's R.Business. The steam also recoils, twisting and snapping like a cut wire.
"N-no...Finkled!?" Then Alan has his merry way with the doctor, bringing them sky-high...where they float for a moment. It's serene and peaceful and shit. And then BLAOW, like the angriest of electric bombs, the boxer comes thundering down, leaving the doctor in his wake. Float, float...
LIFE IS HELL.
Tran is slammed down by the lightning, crashing into the concrete amidst a new-born network of web-like cracks. It hurts like hell. Lesser men would already have crumpled like cardboard.
Right now, it only makes Dr. Tran angrier.
He's up in an instant, and the steam is up with him, forming into shapes based as much on instinct as concious will. Rings. Rings running the length of his arm, looking as thin and delicate as the rings of Saturn. They begin to whine, a high-pitched buzzing that fills the air as they whip about in place, spinning up to deadly speeds.
"BITCH I WILL CUT YOU" Tran screams over the din, and while he can't quite match Alan's lightning-fast speed...
Well, given how a second later he's on the other side of the man, he can come close. The buzz dies down. Another second passes.
Nearby, a hotdog cart falls apart into a million tiny pieces. A grizzly bear (named VanDerHuge), standing on its hind legs and one hundred percent upset by the forces at work nearby, suddenly loses every lock of hair on its entire body. Its cage is completely untouched.
VanDerHuge sits down and quietly begins to cry.
COMBATSYS: Alan parries Tran's Dr. Tran Licks an Onion!
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > ///////////////// ]
Tran [E] 1/-----==/=======|=======\===----\1 [E] Alan
Alan pulls his hand, buried to the elbow, out of the cracked concrete as though he were freeing a spoon from a bowl of jello. Blood drips from superficial cuts, and he takes a moment to stare at it running down his arm, scowling, becoming apparently furious at it.
He glances up, and sees Tran, an inch away from him. Then, ?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
About a mile away, the top half of the ferris wheel detaches, slowly tipping to the side. All of a scabrous man's acne pops at once, drenching him in his own filth. A baby's bowl of mush flips over without her input, but her parents scold her anyway, a moment that will shape the entirety of her life.
"NOOOOOOOOPE," remarks Alan, standing in water up to his hips, a clutch of polar bears staring at him from the cave in which they've taken shelter. He swings out both hands, apparently at empty space, attempting to catch Tran just as he passes between them. They're on the entire other side of the zoo now, from where they were.
COMBATSYS: Tran fails to reflect Thunderclap EX from Alan with -Q- is for Dr. Tran.
[ \\\\ < > //////////////// ]
Tran [E] 1/=======/=======|=======\=======\1 [E] Alan
COMBATSYS: Tran can no longer fight.
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Alan [E] 1/=======/=======|
Well. /That/ was weird. And yet Dr. Tran is more or less blind to the destruction he and Alan have caused, especially because WHO CARE. It's not like these other people matter. Hell, Alan barely matters, and he is doing an amazing job of both A.) beating ass and B) pissing Tran off.
The doctor can barely contain himself. In fact, scratch that, he can't. He can't even come close. Steam rises, a billowing cloud of anger that threatens to completely engulf him. It probably would, if he weren't zipping around like the Flash on crack. Instead, it provides a neat, distinctive trail, which acts a lot like a gigantic sign saying 'HEY ALAN HERE IS MY BUTT, PLEASE SODOMIZE IT'.
As Tran gets right up in the boxer's face, the smarmy man...immediately removes him, before he even gets a chance to unleash all of this stored up power. Tran goes flying back again, this time crashing through several barriers (one of which is a lion named Steaksauce Taco, god damn it japan), before winding up half-lodged in the wall of a small, wooden shack.
/Then/ Dr. Tran explodes properly, a blast of chi completely demolishing the wall, leaving the tiny building barely intact.
All is silent. Time passes. And then...
"HA HA, YES! IT'S NOT A SUPPOSITORY! THANK WHITE JESUS!" A triumphant cry rings out across the park. There's another explosion, and a loud splash, and then Dr. Tran is /gone/, his opponent forgotten. Maybe because of all the /concussions/. ALAN.
Alan punches out an alligator for no reason, and the curtain drops. Orochi, guys! It's a hell of a drug!
Log created on 21:45:50 04/11/2011 by Alan, and last modified on 04:18:39 04/12/2011.