Description: The search for Iron Chef Karate continues for El Fuerte. Today he meets one of the men that trashed his restaurant in the mighty Aussie known as Raiden. Even the Hurricane of the Gulf cannot seem to topple the Big Bear and another chapter closes with the luchachef not being any closer to meeting the man he wishes to hire.
There is always a fine line for a man like Raiden to walk. He wants food. All the time. And, perhaps most importantly, he feels that it is /very important/ that he not have to pay for it, because he shouldn't have to pay for anything by virtue of being himself.
Being Raiden is the /best/ virtue.
But sometimes, people disagree. And he can't just start breaking bones like toothpicks because they still have to be able to cook. What can a simple world's best wrestler do?
SOME TIME AGO
Raiden begins to strip.
NOW
Raiden happily is stuffing his face, the cries of the small restaraunt's owner serving only to sweeten his meal.
"RAIDEN DOES NOT KNOW WHAT THIS IS," he manages to shout out around the huge mouthful of food he has, whatever dish it was already completely unrecognizeable, "BUT HE WANTS MORE! Keep it coming, tiny! Hah!"
Yes, some people don't think about such things as paying. Not just paying for for food but paying for all the destruction one causes. Not that Raiden was the MAIN cause of destruction, but Iron Chef Karate is a man among men and is thus excluded from the 'having to pay' club. The large Aussie is not exempt from such things, though. Even as he eats the owner cries and wishes for help only to be heard from afar. It isn't pure luck in this case, though.
El Fuerte had been stalking the large wrestler for quite some time in this case. Raiden had done him wrong and the Mexican won't forget about what Raiden did to his restaurant. Even if the fatty doesn't have money he will pay in some sort of way. Even as he eats there is suddenly a sound that grows louder from afar. "Dynaaaamiiiiiiiiiiiic........."
Is that just a thought in his head going off? No, it is getting louder and people inside the restaurant that Raiden is eating out of house and home are starting to scramble away as things go louder. "Cooooooooooooooookiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing....." That is when the roof caves in and El Fuerte slams into the ground dressed in his red mask and tights while not looking too happy. "TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIME!"
He leaps up onto the counter of the place and points towards Raiden. "You know where Iron Chef Karate is I bet. Lead me to him and the Hurricane of the Gulf will let you off easy!"
No, Raiden is pretty sure that is just his imagination. He gets so /excited/ when he is eating delicious food. The rest of the world may as well not exist, as far as he's concerned.
"Eh?" But then he finishes his serving, which allows the possibility of things around the huge wrestler actually happening. The thud of a man coming through the ceiling is a familiar one to Raiden, although it is usually louder and also caused by him.
The big man stands up, looking down at El Fuerte, a smile spreading on his face. He has no idea what the little man is talking about, but if there is one thing Raiden knows, it's when somebody is picking a fight with him.
"Ha ha, this is /almost/ as good as a meal!" The masked man-- the bigger masked man raises his hands, waiting for Fuerte to do...whatever it is he does. "You're not getting anything out of Raiden. What goes in..." He belches. "Stays in."
%If this was any other day it might be El Fuerte treating a man such as Raiden with delicous foods. This is not one of those days. Raiden was around when that magnificient bastard Iron Chef Karate was around and he must know something! Yet here he stands around acting like he knows nothing. The luchador knows how to handle a jabroni like Raiden. With great power!
"You pretend you do not know such things now, amigo. I will not let you hide your secrets away from me!" he declares as he points to the much larger man. This is not El Fuerte's first rodeo and honestly compared to the likes of Hugo and Abobo this mountain of a fat man is kinda normal sized.
That might just be why El Fuerte is quick to actually try to grasp for the larger Raiden and pick the man up to bodyslam him into the ground. "Subtmit to the ultimate luchador!"
COMBATSYS: ElFuerte has started a fight here.
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ElFuerte 0/-------/------=|
COMBATSYS: Raiden has joined the fight here.
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ElFuerte 0/-------/------=|-------\-------\0 Raiden
COMBATSYS: ElFuerte successfully hits Raiden with Quick Throw.
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ElFuerte 0/-------/------=|-------\-------\0 Raiden
It is a shame; had they met under different circumstances, perhaps El Fuerte and Raiden could have been........../friends./
This way's more fun anyway, because Raiden is not a man to be underestimated. It's true that Huge and Abobo are completely gigantic, but what Raiden lacks in height, he more than makes up in /density/.
It comes into evidence when El Fuerte lifts all 463 pounds of the big man, an impressive feat in itself, and then hurls him down onto the ground. He bounces. The floor dimples, unable to cope with that much weight coming down that hard.
"It will take a lot more than that to bring Raiden down!" Raiden stands up a moment later, still merry, and makes to simply backhand Fuerte with his massive hand. "...amigo." Raiden laughs as if he has just made the single most hilarious joke in existence.
COMBATSYS: ElFuerte dodges Raiden's Fierce Punch.
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ElFuerte 0/-------/------=|-------\-------\0 Raiden
One has to wonder how El Fuerte still has a back after all this time. Lifting people twice his size should have mudered that rather small man many times over, yet here he still stands. Even more impressive is the fact he manages to pick up a man like Raiden and bodyslam him. The people that haven't ran away yet are in awe at how the Mexican manages such a feat of strength. Not only that he shows his speed in easily avoiding that backhand that is swung his way by leaning backwards and just bending at the knees.
He then pops back up to his full height, rather diminuative compared to the Aussie, and then lets out a laugh himself. "You poor man. You do not realize who you deal with! I will find out what you know about Iron Chef Karate no matter what!" he declares. Too bad Raiden is actually innocent in this case. The fatty probably has no idea what the luchador might bet talking about. Of course he doesn't have too much time to think about that since El Fuerte is trying to pick up Raiden once again and deliver a rather painful suplex. "TEPAAACHEEEEEEEE....BOMB!"
COMBATSYS: ElFuerte successfully hits Raiden with Tepache Bomb.
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ElFuerte 0/-------/------=|=------\-------\0 Raiden
Of course Raiden has no idea what El Fuerte is blathering on about, but it's the /principle/ of the thing. The worst thing to be in the criminal world is a rat. At this point not telling people things they want to know is just reflex.
"You? Who are you?" Raiden good-naturedly asks, except then he continues and it becomes much less so. "Nobody, that's who." To prove, it doesn't even try to avoid Fuerte's attack, allowing the luchador to pick him up and slam him into the ground again. The ground, once again, loses.
Floor barely holding intact, Raiden balls up and rolls backward a step, coming up onto his feet with well-practiced ease, hamhands already reaching forward for El Fuerte again to pick the small man up and snap him over the biggest pair of shoulders in the room..
"I'm not going to tell you anything!"
COMBATSYS: ElFuerte parries Raiden's Strong Throw!
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ElFuerte 0/-------/-----==|=------\-------\0 Raiden
He won't tell now!? Well El Fuerte will see how long the fat man sings that tune. He was obviously in cahoots with Iron Chef Karate since they were in the same restaurant. That makes sense, right? So maybe it is a coincidence in this case. El Fuerte will have nothing of that. Raiden was fighting and so was Iron Chef Karate. That must mean both were brothers in arms! Oh if only logic worked so well.
Yet even as Raiden grasps at him, El Fuerte just reaches up to slam his hands against the wrists of the larger fighter to push his arms upwards to grasp at nothing but air! "Nothing? I am the Hurricane of the Gulf! You will remember my name if you know what is good for you!" he proclaims.
That is also when he goes to rear both arms back and then quickly shove them forward to slap against that large belly of Raiden. It is mostly to throw him off balance so El Fuerte can once again grasp the larger fighter and send him for a ride that involves twisting the man about and powerbombing him onto the ground once again. What the hell has the poor floor done to deserve this?! "FAAAAJITAS BUSTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
COMBATSYS: Raiden Toughs Out ElFuerte's Fajitas Buster EX!
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ElFuerte 0/-------/----===|===----\-------\0 Raiden
This isn't the first time Raiden's had his hands, impressive though they are, effortlessly knocked away. It probably won't be the last. It definitely won't be the only time that it makes him angry.
Still grinning but grinding his teeth, Raiden puffs his chest out as El Fuerte comes for him, taking the slap like a /man./ And then the agile wrestler picks him up again, causing him to twist about in the air and come crashing to the ground. Raiden does some twisting of his own volition, and lands on his feet with a ear-penetrating crunch.
Now ankle deep in the floor, he immediately surges forward, fists alternating to punch the crap out of El Fuerte. The floor gives way as though he is wading through snow.
Finally, Raiden reaches forward to grasp Fuerte, hugging him close, and deliver a nasty headbutt to /end his life/ with a triumphant cry. "RAIDEN DOESN'T REMEMBER ANYTHING!"
...he tries.
COMBATSYS: Raiden successfully hits ElFuerte with Combination Bodyblow.
- Power hit! -
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ElFuerte 0/-------/-======|====---\-------\0 Raiden
It seems that Raiden gets one up on the luchador this time. Mostly for the fact that El Fuerte had no idea that the larger wrestler could do such a thing like he just did. To land on his feet then quickly grasp for El Fuerte was one of those moments where the Mexican was thinking he was in some sort of dream. Fatties shouldn't move so fast!
But fatties do hit hard and that is very much what Raiden does to the poor luchador. That headbutt slams hard against the cranium of the other masked wrestler and there are stars to be seen and birds to hear tweet. Even once he manages to wiggle free from the powerfuly grip of Raiden the luchador is sort of stumbling about. "I...you know...."
He is partially forgetting why he was even fighting the larger wrestler for just a moment, but then he spins about to face Raiden and points a finger at him. "YOOOOOOOU!" he shouts loudly and then rears back to bring up a tiny fist in the form of an uppercut to hit Raiden in the jaw. "Shoryuken!" he cries out as he launches himself in the air and fails to make any awesome energy explosion.
COMBATSYS: Raiden interrupts Strong Punch from ElFuerte with Giant Bomb.
*KNOCKED AWAY*
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ElFuerte 1/----===/=======|=====--\-------\0 Raiden
Raiden just stands there as El Fuerte stumbles about, waiting with a cruel smile spread across his face. He has beaten the sense out of this man; now for /everything else./
The cry of 'Shoryuken!' goes up. Raiden has a flashback.
SOME TIME AGO
"Charlie foxtrot! Man down! Bogies on Raiden's six!" Raiden, dressed like he always is except with a mottled green army helmet, crawls through a ditch. Then Ryu is there with his uppercuts and his shouting and Raiden shoots him dead on the spot with a bazooka.
NOW
Raiden slams a fist down onto the ground, hunching over, so that El Fuerte's fist glances off of his shoulder, leaving the wiry wrestler /critically vulnerable/.
Raiden capitalizes by charging forward like a freight train, putting his mass to good use by immediately propelling it far harder and faster than should be physically possible.
It is one of those moments where one wonders what the hell just happened. El Fuerte thought he still had the upperhand. El Fuerte was also knocked retarded by a headbutt just a few moments ago. One can see where this would be a bad thing. Even so he went forward and forgot he wasn't some random hobo, but a luchador and it cost him in this case. He is hit HARD by the much larger Raiden and it is amazing that the wall of the restaurant does wonders at stopping the luchador from being thrown further from the hit. Instead he sort of is embedded there for amoment.
That is when his eyes snap open and he pops free. "That is all you got!?" He asks while he almost seems to be vibrating from the energy he has at the moment. He just rests a hand on his hip while thrusting a finger in the air. "The Hurricane of the Gulf must find Iron Chef Karate and no man, fat or thin, shall stop him!" he declares before stepping forward and going forward to leap and drive his shoulder into Raiden before landing on his feet. He will then attempt to use his momentum to heft the larger man up and over his shoulder to toss him upwards and onto the ground. "YEEEEEEEEEEAH!
COMBATSYS: Raiden interrupts Strong Throw from ElFuerte with Crazy Train.
*KNOCKED AWAY*
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ElFuerte 2/<<<<<<</<<<<<<<|=------\-------\0 Raiden
Woe to the man who underestimates Raiden just because he seems a little slow and has a pretty face. Beneath that perfect body beats the heart of a /killer/. Well, maybe not that severe. The heart of a manslaughter? The heart of a repeat disorderly conduct offender?
The point is, when Raiden gets going, Raiden is ruthless. And with El Fuerte all the way over there, he definitely has time to get his 'A' game on. The luchadore slams into Raiden's gut, and is given an opportunity to rediscover the impressive difference in mass between the two.
"Raiden is no man!" Bulging his stomach out to bounch Fuerte back, Raiden follows up with his fists, sliding forward to slam them into his opponent a few times. Hunching down again, he finishes with another low, powerful shoulder tackle, shouting as he does so.
"RAIDEN IS A SUPERMAN!"
Some could swear they hear 'I'll get you gadgeeeeeeet!' when El Fuerte gets slammed about then shoulder tackled right out the front door. That is when there is silence and people just all look around. It seems that the luchador was finally taken out from all that punishment? Maybe people can go back to eating in somewhat peace, Raiden is still there afterall, and the owner can just cry about all the damages that have occured at his restaurant.
That is when there is suddenly the sound of something growing louder....and coming from above? "DYNAAAAMIIIIIIC!" shouts a voice that is increasingly louder. People scream in surprise and the few that lingered to watch filter out when part of the roof caves in and El Fuerte flies through the rubble to land on Raiden's shoulders. "COOKING TIME!"
COMBATSYS: ElFuerte successfully hits Raiden with El Fuerte Spark.
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ElFuerte 0/-------/---====|====---\-------\0 Raiden
The feet of the luchachef land firmly on the wrestler and he then flips away to land behind him. "EL FUERTE......." he shouts before coming in on a low slide to slam into a beefy leg of Raiden before jumping up and getting his legs around the thick neck of Big Bear. That is when he starts swinging about like a propeller and actually getting enough momentum that....are they lifting off the ground!? They almost reach the ceiling before Fuerte releases and he scissors an arm and Big Bears neck between both arms and legs and makes a nice twist that might break a normal person's neck. Good thing fatties aren't normal. "SPARK!" He releases and lets Raiden fall to the ground as he drops behind the big man a few feet away while laughing. "Then I must be your kryptonite!"
Confident that he has completely ruined his opponent, /forever/, Raiden turns away and looks toward the shopkeeper, already close to an aneurysm due to the significant damage to his shop. The poor man just about pees his pants when the big wrestler begins to walk toward him. "Haven't I suffered enough!?" the poor man cries.
And then El Fuerte crashes through his roof AGAIN and he just faints dead away.
Unfortunately for Fuerte, he has no such luck with Raiden, although even the Aussie has to admit that it's a pretty damn good effort. Helpless to stop the crazy Mexican meatsmith in his moment of acrobatic awesomeness, Raiden goes up in what is very possibly the most painful manner possible, and then comes crashing down. Again.
"Urrrgh..." Pushing himself up to his feet, somewhat shakily this time, the big man's smile has magically transformed into a grimace. Clearly, desperate measure are called for.
"Raiden'll crush the first crap-tonight he sees! Because what can stop him?" He begins to strut about, nothing but exaggerated like raising a hand to his ear, waiting for a reponse. "That's right! Nothing can stop Raiden! Because Raiden! Is!" Both hands lift up, fingers pointing skyward triumphantly.
"NUMBAH WAHN!"
COMBATSYS: Raiden gains composure.
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ElFuerte 0/-------/---====|===----\-------\0 Raiden
Number one? The luchador raises a brow. "Amigo, you are not number one. Think of all the wrestlers that are better than you." This is probably not the best thing to say, but El Fuerte is an honest man and this honesty somehow hasn't gotten him murdered yet. "For one my tag team partner Hugo is better. Then there is Haggar!" he beams and nods. "Then my team captain Zangief is better. Ooooooh! Then there is Rainbow Mika! She is the greatest of all time!" Okay so that last one is more due to him being a fanboy and a bit obsessive, but he at least seems done with the list. At least he didn't say Ramon was better?
Enough talk, though! This mountain of man is still standing and El Fuerte will have none of that! And even if he is moving decidedly slower after the punishment he has taken he still moves at a speed that is hard for most normal people to keep track of. Once again fatties aren't normal, alas. The luchador just leaps forward to try and once again pick up Raiden and then powerbomb him into that poor, destroyed floor of the restaurant.
COMBATSYS: Raiden fails to interrupt Chili Mexicano from ElFuerte with Rebound Grapple.
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ElFuerte 0/-------/---====|==-----\-------\0 Raiden
Raiden frowns. Raiden frowns big. Who are these people? What is this little man running his mouth about now? Telling Raiden, who is obviously the best, that he is not? He must be delusional. Raiden, being a kind and just man who is friend to all the childrens, carefully and calmly explains.
"You stupid idiot, what'd Raiden just say!? Number one! The greatest!" Raiden takes a step forward, arms already in position to help with his argument. Forcefully. It doesn't quite work out so well for him, however. The lucha is too quick once more, getting in past Raiden's defenses, getting a firm hold and slamming him into the ground, splintering wood and causing the restaurant owner to begin frothing gently. Raiden awkwardly rolls away, clearly angry now.
"RAIDEN IS BETTER THAN RAINBOWS!" He cries out indignantly. After all... "Rainbows can't even grapple! They're just colors!"
El Fuerte has been a pretty forgiving man this entire fight. That is until Raiden decided to say one thing. He is better than Rainbow Mika. So he didn't exactly say it that way, but obviously there is something lost in the short time it takes for sound to travel from Aussie to Mexican and El Fuerte just goes wide eyed. "You dare insult Rainbow Mika and her wrestling prowess!?" If he had any sort of energy it would be flaring around him DBZ style right about now after hearing that. Zangief made this mistake too when the name was mentioned and he just responded with 'who?'.
"You will not tell me about Iron Chef Karate and now you insult a great female wrestler!? I cannot forgive you amigo." he says and he furrows his brow as he charges the other masked wrestler. He then goes into a slide aimed to slam into both legs of the large man and take him off his feet again. Maybe if he can get such a large man flat on his back he can't get back up!?
COMBATSYS: Raiden Toughs Out ElFuerte's Calamari Slide!
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ElFuerte 0/-------/---====|====---\-------\0 Raiden
Now, Raiden will be the first to admit that he doesn't know a lot of things about the world. He doesn't know how they get the chips in the bag, or why people don't understand that he's great, or how magnets work. El Fuerte pretty much takes the cake, though. Who gets angry at a rainbow? That is silly.
"Of course I dare! Raiden is the most daring!" Can't let something as simple as that get in the way, though. There is a fight going on, a subject in which Raiden is something of a /specialist/. Fuerte slides into the big man's ankle, smacking one of them with his outstretched leg. Raiden resists for a moment, and then /gets an idea/.
Raiden lets himself fall down like an angelic meat boulder kicked out of butcher heaven for being too fat. Ass first. Men have /died/ to that ass.
COMBATSYS: Raiden successfully hits ElFuerte with Crushing Blow.
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ElFuerte 0/-------/=======|===----\-------\0 Raiden
El Fuerte should sometimes think things through when attacking someone this massive. Going to take their legs out from under someone like Raiden is a good idea in theory. That is until you see his giant ass eclipsing any light from the world and coming right at you. There is a 'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!' that is let out before there is the sudden impact of ass on luchador which just leaves a pair of legs sticking out from under the Aussie.
That is when the legs start to kick and then Raiden might feel slightly violated for just a moment because two hands are gripping his ass. Then there is the attempt by Fuerte to actually lift Raiden up and fling him up and off of the Hurricane of the Gulf as he breathes heavily. "I...willl....not..." he putters and he staggers about and falls right over.
COMBATSYS: ElFuerte has reached second wind!
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ElFuerte 0/-------/=======|===----\-------\0 Raiden
Only for him to quickly pop back up and throw his hand in the air. "I AM NOT DONE!"
COMBATSYS: Raiden interrupts Strong Throw from ElFuerte with Bearhug.
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ElFuerte 1/----===/=======|======-\-------\0 Raiden
Well, that's it then. Feeling the satisfying 'squish' of a grown man getting crushed under his mammoth buttocks, Raiden knows that this fight is /over/.
"Hmm, good fight. Really worked up an appetite. Where's that--eh?" This is surprise, because a small but oh so hard-working pair of hands are lifting him up so that his legs are dangling loosely.
"You just don't know when to quit, little man." At almost the exact moment he's thrown, Raiden reaches down to grap El Fuerte by the shoulders and take him along for the ride, clutched painfully tight to that meaty, sort of funky-smelling chest. Raiden lands and loses his grip and rolls, coming up swaying.
"Let...let Raiden teach you!" Looks like the big guy's running out of steam.
It is a wonder how there is even any steam in El Fuerte at this point. Yet despite being grasped and squeezed to bits by the massive Raiden he manages to wiggle himself free and stagger about as he tries to get things to stop spinning so much. As for the smell? Well Fuerte is used to smelling his own cooking so it seems like he isn't too affected by the bad sweat smell of the larger man. Or maybe that is one of the reasons his world feels all upside down right now.
"The Hurricane of the Gulf doesn't quit until he gets what he wants!" That makes one think what does he want at this point? Raiden doesn't seem to know anything about the crazed masked Iron Chef Karate and really the big man just wants to eat. Is it perhaps some weird revenge for trashing El Fuerte's restaurant? If that the case it seems kinda silly given El Fuerte is destroying someone else's restaurant in the process. Then again he does seem to follow another line of logic than most people. Even while winded and looking ready to pass out El Fuerte flings himself forward as he jumps upwards and towards Raiden. "Time for fatty to take a nap!"
COMBATSYS: Raiden blocks ElFuerte's El Fuerte Flying Giga Buster.
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ElFuerte 0/-------/----===|=====--\-------\0 Raiden
And he lands on the big man once again. This time with what strength he has left he manages to Frankensteiner the man onto the floor again, but fails to have the energy for his true intentions. Even as his legs release he sort of lands on his stomach on the ground and takes a few moments to get back to his feet. "St....still not done, amigo!"
"Raiden does not let just anybody get him! Only the ladies!" Raiden defiantly proclaims, having somehow lost the thread of whatever is even happening now. He adds, for good measure, "Hot ladies!" A man like Raiden has to have standards, after all.
"And even though you punch like a girl, you don't count!" His piece said, Raiden gets ready for El Fuerte's next assault, putting up enough of a resistance so that he only gets somewhat wrecked. As opposed to completely and totally wrecked.
On the ground, the huge man really...really doesn't want to get back up again, not yet. He just...needs a minute, that's all. So he just kicks out at where he thinks El Fuerte is, looking to connect despite the almost complete lack of things like 'leverage' or 'force'.
"Raiden never stops." Somehow, he doesn't sound as excited about it as usual.
COMBATSYS: ElFuerte fails to interrupt Quick Kick from Raiden with Strong Throw.
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ElFuerte 0/-------/---====|======-\-------\0 Raiden
COMBATSYS: ElFuerte can no longer fight.
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Raiden 0/-------/-======|
Feeling worn out and fatigued El Fuerte would rather just lay on the ground as well. Instead he sees a treestump being raised and kicked out his way. All he can think to do is to try and grab it with both hands. It doesn't work out too well and a nice boot hits the luchador hard in the stomach and he goes staggering back and falls over. This time he also seems to be staying down. Even to the point there is a group of Mariachi members running in to pick him up and carry him out before Raiden manages to get the energy to stand and perhaps hit his fallen foe.
'But what about my restaurant!?' cries the owner loudly as he isn't even left a single cent by the group that carries El Fuerte out. One just shouts 'It's on the big guys tab!' which isn't too reassuring given Raiden probably eats money instead of carry it around. There is just the sound of doors slamming and a white van goes screeching off into the sunset. Yet another chapter ends for El Fuerte's seach and he is left without any new leads as to where to find Iron Chef Karate.
For his part, Raiden can't actually tell what's happening because he's still lying down, and his stomach makes for an impressive obstacle. Is that...does he hear singing?
"What is happening?" Rather than actually stand up and see for himself, Raiden just rolls uselessly back and forth for a moment before lying back down. "Raiden doesn't care anymore. Too tired to care, but also invigorated by victory!" Folding his arms behind his head, he lets out a sigh and closes his eyes.
"So when I wake up, I'll have a feast! Keep it hot for me, friend. Ha ha!" The owner lets out a wail of despair which is soon drowned out by amazingly loud sound of Raiden snoring. It's like a squad of crack lumberjacks are murdering infinite logs.
BAD END
COMBATSYS: Raiden has ended the fight here.
Log created on 21:35:54 01/21/2011 by ElFuerte, and last modified on 15:53:02 01/22/2011.