Description: The lightning god of the lightning league's rampage continues, putting the pound in dog pound and ensuring that the Southtown Municipal Dog Pound will soon require /yet another/ fundraiser to cover the damages. This time his opponent is Yashiro, who really just wants to hook up with some chicks. Instead: he steps in poop. (Winner: Raiden)
Oh--
"What..."
--my--
"...the..."
--dark God.
"FUCK!?"
Yashiro stands, eyebrow twitching spasmodically, as a droopy-eyed basset hound puts its paws up on his legs, barking repetitively, and a little pomeranian yips, dancing about his feet. Meanwhile, all the other caged animals, pent up in their metal gates -- how do these random dogs keep getting out? -- bark incessantly, scrabbling away at their confinements excitedly, sensing the impending tension. It's easy. Yashiro is radiating tension.
"Why am I here AGAIN!?"
The League officiators cannot even meet his eyes. The white-haired star's gaze is a vortex of rage. He quivers occasionally, the muscular musician's bulk otherwise unmoving. He was okay with it last time. He liked that guy.
Why can't it be a hawk aerie or something?
Briefly, Yashiro's anger evaporates, replaced by a slightly speculative expression.
He's rich. He could make it happen.
Dream big, Yashiro. All the way to the top of the League.
There's actually a very good reason. The dog pound, as a collective, loves Raiden, and Raiden loves the dog pound, because Raiden loves dogs. Especially the tiny ones. Raiden also loves to volunteer, he loves to help renovate it, give the poor little dogs some much needed amenities.
The wrestler comes crashing through the roof in a shower of plaster and wood and /sweet, fresh air/.
"HAH! Raiden has given the dumb animals a skylight!" His voice erupts from the cloud of debris his entrance has caused, all and all oddly symmetrical with his last special guest appearance here.
Doing nothing so much as emerging, Raiden is all good cheer and smiles, flexing and looking around. "Who am I fighting?! Hurry up, whoever you are, it is almost feeding time!" He laughs...sinisterly?! "The dogs are /hungry/."
Sagat arrives from elsewhere.
The Yash stares.
"You--"
He stares at the huge man. He stares up at the hole in the ceiling. He looks down, and stares at the basset hound, which is now humping his leg. He glances over, and sees that the Pomeranian is humping his other leg. He looks up, and stares at Raiden some more.
"How did you--"
No. You know what. No.
Fuck it.
"Aaagh!" screams the muscular musician, dogs fleeing in every direction at the white-haired pop star's sudden roar. His heart choker gleams in the sun, now revealed by the convenient skylight Raiden has created. "Let's just get this OVER WITH!" He needs to win this league, and get to the top, and get his fucking wish, some god damn KoF invitations.
And he's going right throw this guy.
"Baastaaard!"
Whereupon the feeling-less-large-all-of-a-sudden man hurls himself bodily at Raiden, rushing with all his might to impact heavily against him, the two powerful forces straining vigorously before Yashiro, with all possible force, aims to pitch the big bear over and slam him against the ground, sending spiderweb cracks everywhere.
COMBATSYS: Yashiro has started a fight here.
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Yashiro 0/-------/-------|
COMBATSYS: Raiden has joined the fight here.
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Yashiro 0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0 Raiden
COMBATSYS: Yashiro successfully hits Raiden with Hatchet Throw.
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Yashiro 0/-------/------=|===----\-------\0 Raiden
"You? Don't make me laugh!" Raiden belly-laughs, an act that alone has broken countless men. He jiggles in disturbingly visible detail; that skin-tight getup leaves nothing to the imagination. /Nothing./
"I think I am going to call you the leg-bitch, because --" He can't really go into the completely unneccesary explanation because the Yash is suddenly all up in his bidness, tumbling the mighty wrestler over and smashing him into the ground with a resounding crash. The dogs, already disturbing, begin pushing for the pound record of 'most ear-shattering racket'.
"HRRRRGH!" Already enraged, Raiden doesn't even bother getting up before reaching for Yashiro, meaty hands seeking a grip so that he can stand up, stick the pop star between his tree trunk legs, sit down, stand up, jump, and then hurl the heart-choker wearing nancy-boy as far as Raidenly possible.
COMBATSYS: Raiden successfully hits Yashiro with Thunder Crush Bomb.
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Yashiro 0/-------/--=====|====---\-------\0 Raiden
That's right, shut your mouth. Yashiro laughs uproariously, even if the long-legged pop star cannot match his opponent's resonant voice. "You're all talk, fat-boy!" Nice one, Yash. "I think I'm gonna call you the fat-boy, because--"
Alas, the world will never know Yashiro's mysterious and enigmatic motives, for he is promptly gripped by the wrestler even before the man rises, the extremely manly and just because he wears a choker you don't have to be such a dick man's eyes bulging in shock as he is easily lifted. This does not happen to him very often.
"Fuuuuuu--"
He crashes into a metal gate, leaving an enormous dent in it but thankfully failing to release any of the hounds, all of which are scampering about in maddened glee. Yashiro is displeased by this turn of events, and extracting himself from the wreckage, he glares at his adversary as glaringly as he possibly can. "God damn it," he grouses to himself, "why do I only get sent the clowns. Where are the /babes?/"
Not in the dog pound, bro.
"Huuuuaahhh!"
He hurls himself in Raiden's general direction, too pissed for words, seeking only to slam his fist down upon Raiden's head and hammer the giant as best he can, his fiery look hinting he will not be stopped. Probably.
COMBATSYS: Raiden endures Yashiro's Sledgehammer Punch.
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Yashiro 0/-------/--=====|=====--\-------\0 Raiden
Raiden can already tell that this is going to be one of 'those' fights. The kind that start with equally traded blows and end with weeping and binge eating.
THIS IS THE BEST KIND.
"So you've got some guts, huh. Perfect!" Raiden seems to be carrying on a completely different conversation from Yashiro, possibly to their mutual benefit. "I /LOVE/ homemade sausage!" He bellows as if he's just made the funniest joke in the world and bows his head in anticipation of the Yash's assault. It strikes him on the head with enough force to send the huge man sliding back a few feet. This is possibly Yashiro's /greatest possible tactical error/.
For Raiden has been deposited neatly next to not one but /two/ dogs. He does not know what kind they are. All dogs are tiny dogs to Raiden. The only thing seperating these dogs from their brethren is their sudden tendancy to soar through the air, as if /propelled/ somehow (raiden), yipping in fear and anger on a direct collision course for the CYS star.
COMBATSYS: Yashiro overcomes Large Thrown Object from Raiden with Large Thrown Object.
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Yashiro 0/-------/--=====|=====--\-------\0 Raiden
If Yashiro just made his greatest possible tactical error--
"I..."
--then Raiden has just made /his/.
"...FUCKING..."
The white-haired man's eyes blaze. His whole body tenses, muscles rippling, his outfit, much like Raiden's, leaving little to the imagination in that regard (because his whole abdomen is bared). His fury knows no bounds. Neither does his sense of decorum, because it does not exist.
"...HATE SAUSAGES!"
Especially not right now.
Yashiro reaches out and grasps the basset hound once humped him by the scruff of the neck. With his other hand he reaches out and grabs-- a weiner dog. It yips playfully, and Yashiro screams in agony and indignation, proceeding to hurl the two dogs with such incredible force that the dogs that Raiden has thrown are knocked out of the air, howling in pain and fear. Defying any sense of decency or animal safety, the two men begin the deadliest dance.
Dog Wars.
COMBATSYS: Raiden fails to slow Large Thrown Object from Yashiro with Huge Thrown Object.
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Yashiro 0/-------/--=====|======-\-------\0 Raiden
Confident in his supreme tactical planning (throwing dogs? ha! brilliant!), Raiden puts his hands on his hips and prepares to do what he does best, second only to eating. Eating and wrestling.
HIS THIRD BEST ACT: gloating. However, he is tragically premature, as Yashiro is given power above and beyond that of normal men by his unnatural hatred of that finest of forms for meat and meat-like products: the sausage.
As his dogs are knocked clear by the Yash's dogs, Raiden knows a brief moment of panic; there is only one thing that overcome dogs that fast, that furious. /A bigger dog/. Frantically turning about to find a dog suitably enormous to huck back Yashiro's way, the huge Aussie is sadly let down, as every dog with even trace amounts of intelligence have vacated the immediate vicinity.
So a couple of dogs slam into Raiden and he falls on his ass. It takes approximately half a second for the dogs to start growling at him, and even less time than that for him to start growling back, attempting to remove them through sheer /intimidation/.
Even though standing up would probably be faster. Shut up.
Unfortunately--
"Ah ha ha!"
Yashiro's dogs are too fast, too furious.
"Don't bother, fat-boy!" the Yash shouts, really enjoying his clever new nickname for his big-boned adversary. "Stay /seated!/" Roaring his final words, the mighty pop star leaps forward, clearing startling ground with his long-legged spring, so as best to reach Raiden as quickly as possible and hit the guy while he's down because, let's face it, Yashiro is a bully.
"I'm the man now, dog!"
Whereupon he aims to tackle Raiden before the wrestler can rise, knowing now how promptly the man can attack upon recovering, and aim to grip him in a ferocious headlock, screaming and pulling with all his considerable strength to slam his larger adversary against the steel gate beside them again and again, leading all the dogs within to, of course, start barking with eardrum-bursting volume.
By this point, the officials have fled, and left the camera running.
COMBATSYS: Raiden blocks Yashiro's Medium Throw.
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Yashiro 0/-------/-======|======-\-------\0 Raiden
The combination of Yashiro's mad rage and Raiden's...mad rage are enough to make every living being within a certain radius just /leave/. The dogs stuck in cages begin valiantly gnawing on the steel fencing in an ultimately futile attempt to escape.
And yet their moment of freedom seems to draw ever closer, as Yashiro leaps upon Raiden and starts mashing him against the gate. More than anyone else, the gate loses. A single bash is all it takes to knock the gate clean off its hinges, Raiden going through it like a bullet goes through a man made entirely out of butter.
But he's not going alone. One hand closes on the Yash while the other rockets up to stun him, now that he has made himself so conveniently close. Moving with his backward momentum, Raiden curls up. His fatness only helps when it comes time to /roll/, and take a passenger with him on the express train to BARFTOWN. Population: one dizzy, beat to hell girly man.
COMBATSYS: Yashiro interrupts Violent Grapple from Raiden with Dual Upper.
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Yashiro 0/-------/=======|=======\=------\1 Raiden
Yashiro will show /you/ Barftown. He'll take you on a personal god damn guided tour. The white-haired man is pissed, pissed that he's back in the dog pound, pissed that this fat guy is not a hot woman, pissed the weiner dog he threw pissed on his hand. He is /not/ pleased, and the Yash is not a man to restrain his displeasure once he has experienced it.
"GuuuUUUUHHH!"
Sounding half like a zombie and half like a bear -- like a zombie bear, if you will -- Yashiro endures the initial stunning blow like a /man/, because that is what he is, by all that is Beiber, an honest-to-goodness manly man, and reacts swiftly, sneaking a fist in before Raiden can finish curling up. Like a protagonist aiming for a boss's weak spot before it disappears out of view, Yashiro hammers his blurring punch right under Raiden's jaw, promptly unfolding him before slamming two more punches in swift succession into the man's prodigious gut.
For whatever good it'll do.
Look Yashiro might be super manly, but he is super manly in the girliest way humanly possible, especially when you compare and contrast to a /real/ man. An Australian man. A man who is so manly, it's downright unattractive. The only way Raiden has to pick up chicks is with his /tremendous biceps/.
And all that muscle sure comes in handy when Yashiro basically punches him standing, forcefully knocking the big man out of his roll and miraculously bringing him to his feet, his tippy-toes even, where he wobbles for a moment.
With even more of a height advantage than usual, Raiden turns a malevolent eye downward, dog flowing around him to either side as they finally make good their escape.
"Raiden's gonna squash you!" Pushing forward despite his tenuous grasp on the ground, the wrestler attempts to make good on his promise by slamming both hamhock fists into Yashiro in turn, sliding forward with the sheer momentum he has behind him, and finally coming up close grasp his opponent and just /squeeze the shit out of him/.
Not literally though. So many dogs (and a volunteer or two) have been pooping in terror that it would be a shame to add to the mess.
COMBATSYS: Raiden successfully hits Yashiro with Combination Bodyblow.
- Power hit! -
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Yashiro 1/-----==/=======|=======\=------\1 Raiden
Yashiro is promptly squashed.
It was all going so well. Boom boom, punch punch, screw this fat guy, get out of the Yash's way already and let him at the ultimate dream and Ken's epic prize. But no. Too caught up in his own fury, enraged that his adversary, after being punched so hard, /gets up/ rather than falling down, the muscular musician tries to pursue, fists continuously flailing, and leaves himself exposed for a decidedly painful series of blows, though it must be noted this is in part because he slips slightly on a piece of dog poop.
He would say someting to demonstrate how pissed he is, but he is currently inconveniently deprived of air, because Raiden is /squeezing the shit out of him/.
Not literally, though.
"Ffff--"
Finally, summoning all his strength, eyes flashing with determination and general pissitude, Yashiro tears free, his eyes twin sausage-loathing stars.
"--uuuuuck, it--"
He needs to win. He needs to go.
"--smells so BAD IN HERE!"
He needs to get the hell out of this dog pound!!
Roaring defiantly, summoning all the strength he has, he aims to topple the giant in a single mighty swing, ignoring that he hasn't even gotten his own breath fully back, aiming to just explosively uppercut Raiden into and preferably through the wall behind him and just be done with it.
COMBATSYS: Raiden blocks Yashiro's Final Impact.
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Yashiro 0/-------/------=|=======\===----\1 Raiden
Perhaps Yashiro has made the mistake so many others have, ignoring a small fact, easily overlooked. Raiden, being a kind and generous fellow, a pillar of magnanimity, helpfully explains.
"RAIDEN!" He bellows, hunching down and flexing as hard as he can, which as it turns out is tremendously hard indeed. "IS!" The Yash hauls back and swings forward, his amazing strength slamming upward in one overwhelming punch.
"INVINCIBLLLLLLLLE!" Fist meets jaw in a massive impact, rocking the wrestler back on his heels. He pinwheels a single time. And then--
And then he slams forward again, right in Yashiro's face, lips forming an 'o' that is surprisingly small when you consider how large they can spread. If you're paying attention to that, anyway, and not the HORRIBLE GREEN CLOUD that smells like the devil let one rip and feels like he did it ON YOUR FACE.
Although on the plus side it does make a couple dogs wander back to check it out, tails tenatively wagging.
COMBATSYS: Yashiro endures Raiden's Poison Breath.
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Yashiro 0/-------/-----==|=======\===----\1 Raiden
Yashiro frowns. Yashiro frowns big.
Perhaps Raiden has made the mistake that-- okay, no one has made this mistake, because nobody else shoots farts out of their mouth.
"I get it," the CYS star mutters as Raiden's outrageous belch closes in. "So /that's/ why you talk out of your ass." It's all he can manage before the plume of god-knows-what disgusting dog-attracting filth gets all over him. The point is--
"FUCK YOUR INVINCIBLE!"
This place already smells /so god damn bad/.
"HUUUAHHH!"
That Yashiro, shouting basically complete nonsense, is able to stomach that assault relatively well by comparison. At this point, he doesn't even give a damn. He wants to end this insane confrontation so bad. Wants to get out of this dog pound so bad. Does not want to fall unconscious into piles of dog shit /so bad/.
He will do anything to win.
Anything like literally wind up, swinging his arm around like a windmill, shamelessly telegraphing his desire to maybe at some point attack Raiden, and then lurch forward at some abrupt point to slam his fist once more into Raiden's gut, with the whole weight of his considerable (if not comparable) body behind it.
COMBATSYS: Raiden interrupts Jet Counter Still from Yashiro with Destruction Drop.
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Yashiro 1/------=/=======|==-----\-------\0 Raiden
Raiden does not frown big. Raiden frowns the /biggest/. Because, like some kind of turbo douche, Yashiro has had the sheer gall to not completely collapse after getting a big faceful of nasty-ass green spit. Also he is cursing which is /not ok/. what if the puppies hear and it turns them sour
Furthermore, Raiden does not make mistakes. Raiden makes /pancakes/.
"HA HA HA HA!" The huge man laughs in the face of adversity, and also in the face of the Yash's obvious attack which doesn't even count, such is Raiden's contempt for it. The fist slams home unimpeded; too much so. It sinks in, up to the wrist. Further!?
With his enemy right where he wants him, Raiden casually reaches down for Yashiro's midsection, turns the man upside down, and then slams his head into the ground. Not once. Not twice. /Three times/, before relenting and leaping into the air, powerful muscles managing to propel not just the fatty but also the finely sculpted girlman almost to the roof.
And then, with one last burst of spite aimed right at the eye of physics itself, Raiden twists sideways, catching Yashiro between his legs, and propels himself diagonally downward to come crashing to the ground again with enough force to crater the concrete floor.
This sucks.
Yashiro is stuck in a crater. One arm, both legs, his lower torso, and half his face are stuffed into the concrete. He cannot currently form a complete sentence, because there is concrete dust in his mouth, oh god he hopes that's just concrete dust. It's really honestly a terrible situation and Yashiro is extremely unhappy. Aside from dogs proceeding to pee on him, this cannot possibly get any worse. Actually, he now regrets even thinking of that very possibility.
Well, it's about time for him to close his eyes and pretend like none of this ever happened, and then walk away and never fight another League fight ever again, but not before destroying those cameras, because by god this is humiliating. (He may fight another League fight someday. But not at the dog pound.) But not while Raiden is standing over him gloating. Because more than humiliated, Yashiro is-- what is Yashiro? That's right, you guessed it, kids.
"MMMPRGHH!"
Yashiro is pissed.
And with his one free arm, unable to reach anything else but also not really wanted to reach anything else, the Yash proceeds to blur his fist out and punch Raiden in the nuts. Again. And again. A million times.
(Seven times.)
COMBATSYS: Yashiro can no longer fight.
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Raiden 0/-------/-----==|
COMBATSYS: Raiden blocks Yashiro's Million Bash Stream.
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Raiden 0/-------/----===|
This is great.
Raiden has once again proven his superiority over /everything on Earth/ as laid out in twenty questions: animal (dog), mineral (the floor), and vegetable (yashiro, even before the coma he has doubtlessly fallen into).
"RAIDEN! IS! KING!" So naturally the gloating begins even before the Yash is /truly/ down for the count. It is a stroke of fortune, perhaps even a miracle, that Raiden just so happens to look down that he might better appreciate the /complete mess/ he has made out of this pathetic man, nevermind how busted up the wrestler himself is.
So he sees Yashiro's arm start to move, and with the practiced ease that only a man as familiar with cheap shots as Raiden can summon, squishes his legs together into a protective ball-barrier. THUD THUD THUD THUD THUD THUD THUD. It sounds like a baseball bat hitting a side of beef.
And yet when Yashiro finally stills, there is Raiden. A meat mountain. He awkwardly half-steps toward the camera, using the sixth sense that every good wrestler possesses, and shakes a finger at it.
"ANOTHER ONE FALLS TO RAIDEN! YEEEEEAH! And you, whatever little girl's got the top spot in MY league, Mubwaki or whatever, I got a message for you!" Raiden picks up the camera and holds it directly in front of his face so that it picks up every horrendous detail.
"THE LIGHTNING GOD IS COMING! FOR! YOU! YEEEEEAH!" And then the amazing Aussie hurls it to the side because he is so completely pumped, yeeeeeeah
COMBATSYS: Raiden has ended the fight here.
Log created on 21:32:35 01/11/2011 by Raiden, and last modified on 12:05:29 01/12/2011.