Description: In the wake of defeating Yamazaki, Interpol Detective Hon-Fu invites Freelance Policeman Daniel Jack to a dinner back in the states, courtesy of El Fuerte. While discussing the King of the Fighters, Southshore Syndicate member Raiden stumbles in, along with a mysterious masked master of Karate. Chaos ensues.
"Ah ha ha ha!"
Hon-Fu, all-star Interpol detective, has never felt better.
"This food is GREAT!"
The seventh beer was really the turning point.
Slumped over his ghost-chili marshmellow squid goulash, shoulders shaking as he chortles, the flushed man with the beautiful bowlcut grins wide at his dining compainion, immensely pleased with himself. "I couldn't have done it without you, Jack," he says graciously, for the thirteenth time. "That's why I brought you all the way to America to enjoy this magnificent cuisine!" he the exclaims, for the eleventh. "Also, because Fuerte gave us free plane tickets."
The fiery nunchaku-wielding agent folds his hands behind his head and leans back in his chair, teetering dangerously backward, clearly on the verge of flipping back head over heels. Truly, he is fearless, just like they said at the awards ceremony. "I wouldn't have gone all this way normally," he demurs, waving his hand dismissively and knocking his half-full bottle of Tres Equis (with lime) into his food, "but I always already in Metro City for the award ceremony. Did I show you my medal?" Yes, repeatedly.
Sighing, he slumps forward abruptly, still grinning bleary-eyed at his fellow investigator. "If only Franco were there to enjoy this moment," he mumbles to himself. "I think he's still carrying on with those strippers. Speaking of which, that Maki Genryusai I fought in Metro. Yeah, I'd like to..." Mumble mumble, sway.
Having been of course awarded the finest table, the ruckus he is causing might be more of a conundrum for their gracious host if there were more customers to be bothered.
Daniel Jack is not a beer man. If he is in the states, he is going to only enjoy the finest in American Hard Liquor. His fifth (ahhahahah fifth) tumbler of Bourbon sat empty besides his full plate of... cooking. Unlike the free-wheeling, wild Hon-Fu, the detective remained cool. And remarkably stable. A quiet drunk, it seems.
Or maybe he hasn't felt the buzz yet.
"Thanks Hon-Fu." The detective rattles off in a flat tone, reciting the same chain of lines he has used through this entire diner. "It is really nothing. And thank you for the dinner. Yes I have seen the medal. It is very impressive. I would like to meet Franco. Maki is a fine woman with good birthing hips. I would tap that too." Daniel Jack throws back the tumbler, despite it being empty. He leans it back, trying to get more of the booze. As he slams it down, he focuses on Hon-Fu.
"Calm down, Hon-Fu. You know, I wanted to drop a little line right down to you. How is your schedule looking like for the next few months?"
In the kitchen, two restaurant workers can be heard engaging in a very loud conversation. While they speak straight-up Spanish at discouraging speeds, it is easy to tell they're anxious, or frightened. A third, more authoritive voice joins the two, and the tumult calms quickly enough.
"Yes! Yes! Definitely."
Hon-Fu is nodding vigorously like he has not heard Daniel's robotic responses before. "You're a good man, Daniel Jack," he announces for the sevententh time. "You--"
At last he shuts up for a minute when the other detective's tumbler slams against the table. Food-related object on the plate before him forgotten -- dejectedly it mingles with the beer slowly chugging into it -- the Fearless Investigator blinks once, twice, three times, with some effort, before his eyes refocus upon his absolute best buddy in the whole wide w-- no, wait, rather, erstwhile ally.
"N, Next few months, huh?" he mumbles, squinting. "Well, I've been given some leeway in the way of Yamazaki's capture, though I think I'm going to hunt down some of the remnants of the Southtown Syndicate. They've gone for too long without being picked off. I heard that Raiden was even seen again recently. They say he lived in the sewer for months after the Tower's collapse and only recently emerge, or some other nonsense. Living off crocodiles, I imagine. Ha ha ha!"
Chuckling to himself, he picks up his glass of water and pours it in the general direction of his mouth before putting it back down. Hair now dripping, he looks back to Daniel with a serious expression.
"Why do you ask?"
Daniel Jack peers skeptically at his tumbler, looking at the empty bottom. Looking up from it, he raises a single eyebrow at him. "It's not surprising. Some of the lowlifes down at Gedo Street are a step up on the weirdness level. They eat your mind, you dig? Just latch on and chew on you." The detective motions a waiter to come over. He needs to fix this empty glass.
Leaning over the table, the detective reaches into his jacket. "Hon-Fu, have you heard about the King of the Fighters? Big international tournament run by some shadowy figure, sends out a bunch of invites to the world warriors, and attracts criminals along with the good clean folk of the world?" Daniel Jack pulls out a photocopy of the invitation letter he 'borrowed' and 'edited' from his Master, Ryuhaku Todoh. Tossing it across the table, he leans back. "Looks like I'm going to be needing a team."
There are noises EVERYWHERE. Little things, certainly tough to hear over Hon-Fu's laughter and Daniel's own line of questioning, but nonetheless, they are there. Other patrons glance to and fro - initially, they glare -daggers- at Hon-Fu and Daniel, but the sound soon isolates itself from that duo.
Rattle.
Clatter.
Cloth shifts, always from a different place.
One by one, tables fall silent, faces pale, and the truly perceptive (certainly not the drunk) might notice a chili pepper or something else long, red, and blunted sticking out from beneath one of the cloth-covered tables closest to Daniel and Hon-Fu.
As Daniel mentions "King of Fighters", the chili pepper quivers indignantly. Nobody pays attention.
Hon-Fu is blissfully unaware.
"Who of what?"
Of anything, really.
"Oh. /Oh./ King of /Fighters./ Why didn't you /say/ so. Aha ha ha ha!" He casually knocks his plate off of the table. It shatters upon the floor with a resounding crash, only adding to the general chaos which he continues not to notice. "Sure, my good buddy Kim fought in that a while back. I know all about King oF Fighters. Course, I'm a working man, and don't usually get the chance to take on /that/ kind of assignment. But I hear you, Jack. You think we could corner some baddies using KoF, huh?"
He yawns and folds his hands behind his back, and through the drunken haze that fogs his glassy eyes, those narrowed orbs take on a knowing tint.
"Listen. Sure, the figure behind King of Fighters inevitably seems to be some nefarious bastard. I remember last time, when Ryu and Ken and that girl who kept flashing her bloomers at the camera beat up that unkillable monster of a man. There are all kind of creeps in this world. But performing bizarre scientific experiments on yourself and then hosting a tournament to see if anyone can beat you up isn't itself a crime. Most likely, these guys /do/ commit crimes in the process, but the question is, do we pick up any kind of probable cause from chasing them down such that we can get an international warrant?"
He slowly shakes his hand, shrugging.
"When it comes to questions like that, I-- well, I prefer to leave it to the guys who bust through the King of Fighters themselves, and end up solving the problem one way or another, you know? And I chase the guys who are threats to the society I know. The drug-runners, the kidnappers, the serial killers. Or, in the case of Yamazaki, all of the above."
He squints at Daniel Jack, still smiling vaguely.
"So-- I mean-- why King of Fighters? Why you?"
Daniel Jack's eyes glaze over as Hon-Fu just unloads. He missed the same questions and statements that were repeated over and over again with drunken exhuberance. He didn't realize that Hon-Fu knew so MUCH about it. Daniel Jack keeps leaning back, lowering his head down to his chest. Ever slowly, the detective nods his head, gradually understanding Hon-Fu rapid-fire, drunken rambling. And then, his partner stops.
Daniel burps.
"I'm into the King of Fighters because I like scrapping. I won the contender's belt through the Saturday Night Fights, you know. For Season One. Every time I put myself through one of those fights, I come out sharper. Smarter. And more importantly, safer. Did you know one time, early in my career, I got gunned down in a Warehouse in Southtown? By a gang of Mad Gear, led by Holly Wood. Whenever I get into a place with a slight percent chance of trouble, don't you know it, all the trouble will show up. You said yourself, you know there are going to be 'bad guys.' Why don't you head them off. I mean, hell. I bet you would be all over that if Yamazaki was in the tourney. Or any of the Southtown Syndicate...." The detective looks over, and stares at the long red thing sticking out from underneath the table.
He pauses.
"Hon-Fu, do you see what I see?"
El Fuerte is an impressive man, famed for both his culinary skills and his fighting technique, though which is more destructive is a matter of great debate. He is a man who a certain /mystery man/ would absolutely love to eat.
Er, meat. No no, wait, meet. Meet, there we go.
The door to the restaurant slams open, hinges straining almost to the breaking point as a level of force that can only be described as 'Raiden' is violently applied.
"RAIDEN IS HERE!" To ensure that there's no confusion, he begins to shout, as if anybody could really mistake the identity of a huge, distinctly round man dressed in electric blue and yellow spandex from head to toe. "Here for the best food you've got in this dump! Where's the best seat? WHO'S THE BEST WOMAN?"
Pausing briefly to survey the dining area, skipping over the patrons who barely register (although--is that man an orange??? Whatever.), he finally settles on a pretty young waitress who blanches when she sees him looking at her.
"YOU! You'll do." Reaching out with a hand that is basically as large as her torso, Raiden picks her up like she doesn't weigh more than a feather and waddles toward a booth, ignoring her frantic protests. "And don't skimp on the bottomless chips! Raiden is /hungry/."
Hon-Fu mentions King of Fighters, again. Then he mentions something about capturing criminals, and decides to take the lazy route - let the other guys take care of the problem! While the nunchaku-toting non-vigilante might not see the problem with his logic, and certainly nobody else in the restaurant is going to talk to him about it, this does not remove him from guilt in the eyes of -some-.
Poking out from beneath that nearby table, the chili pepper begins to quiver, furiouser and furiouser.
Then Daniel opens his mouth and says something, anything.
"ALLEZ CHESTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~!!!!!!" *CRASH/BOOM/*
With -GREAT- fanfare, the table nearest Hon-Fu and Daniel explodes into fluttering tablecloth, silver and platewear, airborne floral table settings, and so many wooden splinters. Restauranteurs begin screaming, most especially those sitting -at- the exploded table. A few quick thinkers immediately run for the exit. A geriatric begins choking on their fajitas. The screaming just doesn't -stop-. And in its middle, the start of it all, is a pair of rapidly ascending feet.
Those feet land on Daniel and Hon-Fu's table with a thudding *SLAM* (one foot winds up squarely in Hon-Fu's chili), and a quick look up reveals the intimidating, brick-like profile of a man who is entirely -not- Takuma Sakazaki despite wearing the robes of a Kyokugen grandmaster, one whose face is the steely, frightening visage of a crimson Tengu. He is wearing a fantastic chef's hat.
"I AM IRON CHEF KARATE!! TODAY'S SECRET INGREDIENT IS..." There is a drumroll from somewhere. The truly gifted might identify it as a manifestation of --==OVERWHELMING CHI==--. Iron Chef Karate's chili-submerged ankle is significantly redder than its opposite.
"...FEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!!!!!!!" Beady yellow eyes stare at both police officers, while the cooking master -CHOPS- both arms to the side, whereupon forks fly from either sleeve, are caught, and thrown -directly- at the two dining policemen.
Iron Chef Karate may need to get his foot looked at.
COMBATSYS: Takuma has started a fight here as a boss!
TAKUMA
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0|---------------|---------------
COMBATSYS: Daniel has joined the fight here.
TAKUMA
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0|---------------|---------------
[\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Daniel 0/-------/-------|
COMBATSYS: Hon-Fu has joined the fight here.
TAKUMA
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0|---------------|---------------
[\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > //////////////////////////////]
Hon-Fu 0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0 Daniel
COMBATSYS: Takuma successfully hits Takuma with Thrown Object.
TAKUMA
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0|---------------|-----------====
[\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > //////////////////////////////]
Hon-Fu 0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0 Daniel
COMBATSYS: Takuma successfully hits Hon-Fu with Thrown Object.
TAKUMA
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0|---------------|--------=======
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > //////////////////////////////]
Hon-Fu 0/-------/----===|-------\-------\0 Daniel
Hon-Fu stares blankly at Daniel for the duration of his counter-monologue. Man, no wonder why Jack seemed to be spacing out a moment ago. Listening is /boring./ Ugh, why is this place so /boring/ all of a--
He snaps back to attention, but not for the sake of his dining partner. His drunkenness at once seeming to fall like a veil from his flushed visage, the fearless detective's gaze sharpens at something past Daniel's shoulder. Perhaps he is experiencing some sort of a hallucination. It would only contribute to the continually growing chaos in this place.
"Yeah, well, Yamazaki's in jail now," he says curtly in response to Jack's, er, response, "and as for the Southtown Syndicate..."
His eyes narrow, his nostrils flare.
"Yeah... I see what you see."
He doesn't.
"RAIDEN!!"
And a lot happens at once.
As Tak-- Iron Chef Karate can no longer take any more and explodes from hiding to mount their table, Hon-Fu is already tumbling from his chair. What might at first seem like an impressive pre-emptive dodge is in fact the detective utterly failing to notice Takuma's entrance at all as the investigator mysteriously procures his nunchaku from some hidden recess and plows through one of the few undisturbed dining couples remaining. "RAIDEN!!" he screams again, charging toward the mighty bloated man currently holding a damsel in distress aloft. "Let go of that babe! You're under arrest! Surrender at on-- OW!! FUCK!"
He was trying to pull his badge out of his pocket, but getting stabbed in the arm by a thrown fork causes him to fumble wildly. He doesn't have to wonder where the pain is coming from. With wild alacrity he leaps for his own falling badge, snagging it before it hits the ground, tucking into a roll -- "Ow, ow, OW" -- crashing through a low decorative wooden bedge, and emerging smoothly from the splinters and wreckage to leap high, whirling out his nunchaku at once to club poor innocent Raiden in the face.
"Here's assuming," he shouts, "you won't surrender!!"
Not anymore, at least.
COMBATSYS: Raiden has joined the fight here.
TAKUMA
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0|---------------|--------=======
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Hon-Fu 0/-------/----===|-------\-------\0 Daniel
[\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Raiden 0/-------/-------|
COMBATSYS: Takuma successfully hits Daniel with Thrown Object.
TAKUMA
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0|---------------|------=========
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Hon-Fu 0/-------/----===|===----\-------\0 Daniel
[\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Raiden 0/-------/-------|
Daniel Jack watches as everything happens at once. A masked monster of a man appears at the door. And then a masked monster of a man erupts from a nearby table, and lands on his own full plate. Daniel Jack goes wide-eyed as Hon-Fu is FLYING over the table in his drunken fury, attempting to jump the strange mass of fat that is Raiden. And in this moment of flat-footed confusion... He takes a fork to the chest.
"HURK!"
The detective falls back, falling over from his chair. Grabbing his chest, he makes sense of what was going on. Hon-Fu was randomly assaulting Raiden. This... this made sense. What didn't make sense was the masked monster in front of him. The giant phallus on his face was as startling as the fork in him. Yanking the fork out, the detective rises up... and spies a clue. A DANGEROUS clue.
And swiftly, he drops in the defensive stance of Todoh-Ryuu Kobojutsu.
"Sweet Mary Jesus Brown! A Japanese Demon! Don't worry, Hon! I got this! My sacred arts in the WAY of TODOH are well trained in exorcising the demons from the netherworld!" Daniel Jack focuses, eyeing the dangerous man with the mask. Moving with the grace of a falling branch in spring, the detective sweeps his hands forward... and grips the edges of the tablecloth. With a sharp jerk, he pulls hard, trying to trip the crazed masked stranger.
And why did that Gi look so familiar?
COMBATSYS: Raiden endures Hon-Fu's Black Dragon.
TAKUMA
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0|---------------|------=========
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Hon-Fu 0/-------/---====|===----\-------\0 Daniel
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Raiden 0/-------/------=|
"And I also want some of those little things, you know, the quesaritos, the ones with meef, and--" Raiden stops dead where he stands, woman in hand still struggling vainly, as THAT MAN who is most definitely TAKUMA appears out of nowhere for no reason and starts beating up strangers. Seriously who does he think he is fooling, it's not like Raiden is stupid enough to fall for this SHALLOW RUSE. Raiden's brain is strong like Raiden, and it has an excellent memory which distinctly remembers when he eats Haoshokokens and also good things like tacos and pizzas and pudding and--
donk
A string of spittle goes flying, along with the vacant expression that had overtaken Raiden's face. It is replaced by a sudden focus because some /asshole/ just whacked him in the jaw with some numchucks. The Southtown Syndicate thug does not seem very impressed, despite the sizeable welt already forming.
"An appetizer! Ha! Raiden will eat you before he moves on to the main course!" Carelessly dropping the girl to the side (aiiii-whump), Raiden advances a step and throws his meaty arms to either side of Hon-fu, looking to entrap the detective in his savage embrace.
Naturally the next step is to turn the drunk man upside down, jump into the air, and throw him back down at the ground as hard as Raidenly possible.
COMBATSYS: Takuma endures Daniel's Quick Throw.
TAKUMA
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0|---------------|-----==========
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Hon-Fu 0/-------/---====|===----\-------\0 Daniel
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Raiden 0/-------/-------|
IRON CHEF KARATE is inhuman, the spirit and glory of all martial arts. As such, he's certainly not going to gloat over the forks that wind up in Hon-Fu's forehead and Daniel's chest. Glowing yellow eyes -do- regard Raiden over there, but pass him quickly - they are more focused on the distracted Hon-Fu, and narrow accordingly.
"Hm-!!" Iron Chef Karate finds his feet pulled out from beneath him!! The adept goes up in a tumble of limbs and flung chili, but it is ultimately Daniel who receives the brunt of the 'bad situation'. Karate hits the tabletop ass-first, legs spread wide, and *rides* the tablecloth towards its puller. Eventually Karate is straddling Daniel's -head-, thighs around his neck, and gets a hand atop the younger man's head.
"That stance..!! AN INFERIOR RECIPE FOR AN INFERIOR PRODUCT!!" Up goes one of the inscrutable vigilante's gnarled hands - it comes down, HARD.
"You're entering King of Fighters with that GARBAGE!?"
COMBATSYS: Takuma knocks away Daniel with Keima Uchi.
- Power hit! !
TAKUMA
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1|--------------=|===============
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > ////////////// ]
Hon-Fu 0/-------/---====|=======\==-----\1 Daniel
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Raiden 0/-------/-------|
COMBATSYS: Hon-Fu blocks Raiden's Thunder Crush Bomb.
TAKUMA
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1|--------------=|===============
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > ////////////// ]
Hon-Fu 0/-------/-======|=======\==-----\1 Daniel
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Raiden 0/-------/------=|
This is really no time to get distracted.
The 'donk' that emerges from the impact of Hon-Fu's nunchaku upon Raiden's skull is hardly satisfying. We can see the Otherwise Fearless Detective's expression sift from savage intensity to ambivalent confusion to dejected disbelief to wry rejection, and all the while Raiden is spewing some nonsense about eating him alive. This is fun and all, but maybe it really is time to find a new line of work. While he's still at the top of his game, and not at the bottom of someone's belly.
He glances over his shoulder to signal his occasional partner to come support him, only to witness that absurd masked man for the first time. His jaw drops -- who the hell is /that/? To say nothing of how he tears through furniture like it's nothing. Even Yamazaki takes at least a /split/-second. Hon-Fu is fearless, so he's not afraid. But this whole encounter is beginning to go downhill very, very, /very/--
"Gahh!"
Cue, after a flurry of confusion and activity, Hon-Fu poised in mid-air, grunting with effort, as both his feet press against Raiden's palms, literally preventing the bear of a man from grappling by pushing back with his legs. Conveniently, this leaves his arms free. Arms that are not strong enough to prevent Raiden from grappling him anyway. "You're not deouring anybody!" he resorts, fixing a wild and wide-eyed gaze on his adversary. "You're going to prison! Where you'll learn the /real/ meaning of a Big Bear!" Yikes.
Well, hopefully Daniel Jack can handle himself. This isn't going to be the easiest challenge in the world. But Hon-Fu has fought through worse situations. Remember that time he beat Yamazaki?
"EAT THIS!!"
And he springs out of Raiden's grasp like a greased monkey, shooting up into the air only to flip abruptly and, his nunchaku igniting, bring his flail crashing down atop the man's head once again with explosive force.
Daniel Jack's plan to catch the man off guard backfires. Backfires HORRIBLY. Soon he finds himself caught between what can be best described as a pair of sweaty, well-packaged logs of summer sausage. And he could feel them flexing. Daniel couldn't see any way to block. Or even dodge. So what could he do? Focus inward, letting the Spirit of Todoh fill him. He focuses, bracing himself for the impact as he shouts hard into the stranger. "MMMMMPH!"
*CRACK*
Daniel Jack eyes suddenly shoot in the opposite directions, the blow striking him straight in the center of his skull. Swaying HARD side to side, he decides now is a great time to call for back up. He calls out to his partner, Hon-Fu, for help.
"Bacon burger with Blue Cheese, no mayo, and extra mustard. Hold the tomatoes, and don't skimp on the onion and pickles. An order of curly fries, with gravy and curds, and top it off with a Mint and Coffee Milkshake. And two straws."
Daniel Jack raises a hand up, letting it glow with orange chi. Burning with the spirit of Todoh, he takes one last lunge, trying to slam his enemy hard into the table, before unleashing a powerful, accurate, punch-drunk hand-chop HARD into him. If the force would not shatter his entire skeleton, it might break the table from the sheer force.
If it hit.
"WITH ONIONS!"
COMBATSYS: Takuma Toughs Out Daniel's World's Greatest Hand Chop!
TAKUMA
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1|-----------====|===============
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Hon-Fu 0/-------/--=====|=======\===----\1 Daniel
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Raiden 0/-------/------=|
COMBATSYS: Raiden fails to interrupt Fire Stallion from Hon-Fu with Bearhug.
TAKUMA
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[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > //////////// ]
Hon-Fu 0/-------/=======|=======\===----\1 Daniel
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Raiden 0/-------/-----==|
"Ha ha ha!" Raiden positively guffaws, amused by the little man's attempts to not get completely wrecked in the space of an instant. How /adorable/. Perhaps someone should inform him of some very important facts. "Raiden is the best! Raiden! Is! Invincible!" He points straight up into the air with one of his humongous manhands to indicate that he is, in fact, number one, although this could easily be mistaken for pointing at Hon-fu himself since the man has taken to the skies like a majestic eagle.
Raiden knows for a fact that the eagle is one of nature's most delicious creatures, having previously eaten one that was wrapped in a steak and deep-fried. His stomach rumbles ominously, and he looks at it, giving it the love and attention that it requires and deserves. He did come here to /eat/, after all. By the time he looks up again, perhaps to stuff Hon-Fu full on in his craw, it is too late for that course of action and he takes the energy-infused numchuck right between the eyes with a loud crack.
"Argh!" The big blue bomb stumbles back a step, clutching his head with one hand in obvious pain. "You're starting to annoy me, shrimp! Raiden's gonna have to show you why you don't do that!"
There is so much -stuff- going on. The restaurant is rapidly vacating, and everywhere (EVERYWHERE), violence wrecks nice things. Hon-Fu is dive-bombing giants, Raiden is attempting to eat everything in sight (and breaking chairs with every step he takes), and here, right in front of the biggest table in the place, Daniel Jack practically burns with vigor. A glowing orange hand -GRABS- at Iron Chef Karate's gi, slams him INTO the table, and is followed up with a brutal, table-shattering chop. Everything goes according to Daniel Jack's insidious plans.
Except for the part where Iron Chef Karate is headbutting through the table immediately upon contact. He doesn't have -time- for impact. The World's Greatest Hand Chop slaps against Karate's back, but the bigger man is lunging forward into a tight roll, twisting into a crouch, yellowed, flaring eyes focused upon Daniel.
They begin -glowing-, more and more intensely. Iron Chef Karate's voice... reverberates. Where the hell is this echo coming from??
"Why follow inferior karate when there are so many better options??! Why hobble yourself like this, pup??"
COMBATSYS: Takuma enters a trance-like state.
TAKUMA
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Hon-Fu 0/-------/=======|=======\===----\1 Daniel
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Raiden 0/-------/-----==|
It's a difficult choice, but then--
"Aw, go cuff yourself!"
For a true man of justice, it's no choice at all.
Hon-Fu shouts this over his shoulder at Raiden, gleefully taunting his staggering opponent, as he dashes over to where Daniel is struggling. Yes, he's leaving his mark behind, and if he lets him get away like this, there'll be hell to pay. But Raiden's not going anywhere /that/ fast, and Jack is, let's face it, getting the tar beat out of him. The Fearless Detective was /pretty/ sure what he shouted was a cry for help, but El Fuerte's not here to take his order, so--
"Dinner is served, dick-nose!"
Hon-Fu will be your waiter this evening.
Barging into the quasi-conversation without paying much heed, bowling over a hapless Hispanic server trying heroically to herd the guests to safety as he goes, Hon-Fu cuts between Daniel and Tak-- Iron Chef Karate to whirl a far-extended nunchaku right at that bizarre mask, the bowl-cutted investigator adopting a poised and tight stance even as he grins widely.
"I'm here for you, buddy!"
He's still a bit drunk, but--
Guess they are buddies now, after a fashion.
Daniel Jack stumbles back, eyes wide as his amazingly powerful chop is rebuffed by this... by this DEMON! "I want onion rings. These are not onion rings." The Detective belts out in a punch-drunk slur. How hard DID this man hit him in the head? Daniel shifts one of his eyes towards Hon-Fu, to make sure he is holding up well. Daniel shakes his fists in acknowledgement of his ally's support. "Brillo Bars!" He shouts, focusing back on his dreadful, demonic foe. His heart was turning hard, burning with the spirit of Todoh. Before, he would have been afraid. But now? After all his training under Master Ryuhaku?
He could no longer recognize fear.
As the mysterious masked fight asks him why he chose his martial art over so many others, Daniel Jack chuckled to himself. Suddenly, his eyes snapped back together. His mind cleared as his bodies burns with orange light. "You believe that Todoh-Ryuu Kobojutsu? Then you, strange demon, are the true hobbled one. The true puppy. Todoh-Ryuu Kobojutsu teaches you that the strength does not lie with such hollow martial arts like Muay Thai, Tae Kwon Do, or Karate! It is the strength of always seeing yourself the underdog! Where you must struggle to survive! Where you must learn to fall in the background! To focus on raw energy! Endless vigor! And above all, have the heart to conquer your opponents! If I am truly hobbling myself... then imagine how strong I will become, when I can defeat foul demons of the likes of YOU!"
Suddenly, in response to the Masked Man, Daniel Jack flares to life, glowing with a bright orange energy coarsing over him. "Come on then, Foul Creature! And I will show you the TRUE POWER of TODOH MIGHT! AHOOOOOOO!" The detective's mind became iron focused, ready to take on whatever his foe would throw.
COMBATSYS: Daniel focuses on his next action.
TAKUMA
[ ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| ]
1|--------=======|===============
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > //////////// ]
Hon-Fu 0/-------/=======|=======\===----\1 Daniel
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Raiden 0/-------/-----==|
Just as Raiden is getting ready to put an ungodly hurt down on Hon-Fu, the dashing detective...dashes away. Such bald-faced cowardice! It is fantastic! "Ha ha, that's what I thought! You're too scared! Scared of RAIDEN!" It only makes sense, nevermind how the rocking wrestler wasn't really doing much of anything. /Yet/. It's clearly a case of how animals flee an area before an earthquake. Exactly like that. Exactly.
"But you cannot escape! You can run, but you cannot hide from Raiden~!" Voice taking on an oddly musical tone, the big man positively /frolics/ toward the general kerfuffle going on around Mr. Tacherafe or whatever he wants his name to be at this point. It is confusing, much like birds or syrup, or those little sets of one or two stairs that you sometimes see in restaurants that help break the area up a little with multiple levels and walls and--
"Whoops!" Raiden trips. When Raiden trips, Raiden rolls. Nothing in Raiden's path is even remotely capable of remaining intact. Tables, chairs, waist-high dividing walls, whatever. Except--
Iron Chef Karate!?
COMBATSYS: Hon-Fu successfully hits Takuma with Snare Whip.
TAKUMA
[ ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| ]
1|-----==========|===============
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > //////////// ]
Hon-Fu 0/-------/=======|=======\===----\1 Daniel
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Raiden 0/-------/------=|
COMBATSYS: Takuma counters Crushing Blow from Raiden with Mouko Burai Gan.
TAKUMA
[ ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| ]
1|===============|===============
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > //////////// ]
Hon-Fu 0/-------/=======|=======\===----\1 Daniel
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Raiden 0/-------/----===|
Iron Chef Karate comes to a standing position, yellowed eyes glowing feverishly, and simply stares -daggers- into Daniel Jack's own face. The restaurant is damned near falling around the two - Hon-Fu sprints across the space, bowling over a server and presumably terrifying potential evacuees, whi-
*RUMBLE, RUMBLE*
-le Jack just keeps on rambling in Iron Chef Karate's stone-cold countenance, braving the fiery pits of those murderous chartreuse orbs to-
Hon-Fu leaps a table, brandishing nunchaku. He screams something about a man with a penis for a nose. That nunchuk whirls through the air, expertly thrown, doubtlessly aimed directly f-
*RUMBLERUMBLERUMBLE*
-continue lecturing - LECTURING - Iron Chef Karate on exactly which kind of martial art is best, and how Todoh-Ryuu is victorious in its absolute shittiness, because this is what Ryuhaku teaches and really Daniel is -not- paying attention to the way Iron Chef Karate's shoulders are squaring, o-
-or Iron Chef Karate's -skull-. That nunchuk *SLAPS* into his tengu mask, and knocks his chef hat off. The mask is itself considerably dented, but the older warrior does not move, nor do those wicked eyes stop staring at their target, who keeps on -talk--
*RUMBLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL*
RAIDEN APPROACHES, CRUSHING TABLE AFTER TABLE, ALMOST KILLING THE GERIATRIC MAN WHO IS -STILL CHOKING ON HIS FAJITAS-. The behemoth is about to crush Iron Chef Karate, except the man thrusts his -forearm- directly against Raiden's forward somersault.
He does not stop staring at Daniel Jack. "Is your style really so strong?? Stop talking, then, and -SHOW ME-!!"
Iron Chef Karate turns, and brings his -full- weight to bear in one punishing, straightforwards PUNCH to Raiden's exposed lower-back. His intent is not important - what's important is whether or not Raiden's kidneys will survive.
Oh my heavens, what is going on.
Hon-Fu's nunchaku impacts against Iron Chef Karate's mask, which he may or may not have noticed; cue to a shot of behind Hon-Fu's fiery visage, several tables exploding into nothingness as Raiden rumbles his way toward them. An old man and his fajitas go flying, the very foundations of the restaurant beginning to shudder, dust raining down upon their heads as the last of the loyal waitstaff begin to abandon what remains of El Fuerte's Dynamite Eating Time Family Fun Restaurant Please Sign Liability Agreement Here. The Peerless Detective turns back to see Daniel Jack, of all things, powering up, demonstrating a side of him -- the Todoh-ryuu side -- that Hon-Fu has heretofore been mostly unfamiliar with. Well, now, that's something. Almost as much something as discovering that Mr. Karate's coming unstoppable blow, which Hon-Fu is tensing himself for, is not aimed at the investigator at all--
"RAIDEN!?"
--but for the boulder-man coming right towards them.
"Didn't I say you were under arrest!?"
Roaring with raw intensity, the passionate defender of justice and man with the manliest haircut, Detective Hon-Fu, pounces upon Raiden just as Tak-- god this is hard-- Mr. Karate stops him cold with an organ-liquefying punch.
"Grraahh!"
He takes this opportunity to jump on Raiden's head and wrap the chain of his nunchaku around the huge man's throat, hoping to choke him into something resembling submission.
Daniel Jack let his ally and the strange giant man stumble into the masked stranger. The detective didn't know why he had so much passion against this man. It was irrational. But he couldn't help something was unnaturally evil about this masked man. He had to defeat him. But with WHAT? WITH WHAT?! As the man continues to stare at him, as the restaurant continues to rumble, as Raiden is manhandled with a horrific punch....
Daniel Jack simply tenses up.
"Then DIE MONSTER! You do not belong in this world!" The detective lets Hon-Fu take on Raiden, as Daniel Jack makes this one on one. "Hon-Fu, prepare the... ultimate attack. I will soften this BEING up with one of the most powerful of Todoh-Ryuu Kobojutsu attacks! So come on, Masked demon! Prepare yourself for my most powerful technique! The DREADED! KASANE! ATE!!!"
Daniel Jack charges towards the man, a single arm raised back. Chi began to burn, drawing from his own spirit as he rushed the masked stranger. Roaring at the top of his lungs, he swipes his hand forward, unleashing a powerful wave of bright, orange chi. Slashing the air, he roars as the chi arcs out.
"KASANE ATE!"
COMBATSYS: Raiden blocks Hon-Fu's Medium Throw.
TAKUMA
[ ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| ]
1|--=============|===============
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > /////////// ]
Hon-Fu 1/-------/=======|=======\=------\1 Daniel
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Raiden 0/-------/----===|
Tumble tumble tumble, roll roll roll, Raiden is basically an unstoppable force of destruction until, suddenly, he is stopped. Sort of. Takuma's hand comes in contact with him and he continues to spin in place, slowly losing momentum and completely halting only when Takuma drives a fist directly into Raiden's lunchmeat. It is /unpleasant/.
With a groan, Raiden flops over, and begins to slowly come to his feet, slightly woozy with what is surely a combination of dizzyness and mild internal bleeding. And yet, he can hear the roar of the crowd. Roaring his name! Cheering for Raiden! Well, someone is anyway, that's what all the shouting is about, right? Without actually noticing Hon-Fu beyond the excited yell, Raiden turns about and begins to pose for an invisible crowd.
When the detective wraps his numchuck around the wrestler's throat, he doesn't really react, his own thick muscle and fat enough to more or less completely prevent the chokehold from doing much of...well, anything. And in the meantime...
"YEAH! Thank you! RAIDEN IS NUMBAH ONE! YEEEEEAH!" He's getting himself psyched up, despite what few onlookers remain being completely terror-stricken. It's his kind of crowd.
COMBATSYS: Raiden gains composure.
TAKUMA
[ ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| ]
1|--=============|===============
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > /////////// ]
Hon-Fu 1/-------/=======|=======\=------\1 Daniel
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Raiden 0/-------/-----==|
COMBATSYS: Takuma overcomes Kasane Ate from Daniel with Ko'ou Ken.
TAKUMA
[ |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| ]
1|-----==========|===============
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > /////////// ]
Hon-Fu 1/-------/=======|=======\=------\1 Daniel
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Raiden 0/-------/-----==|
Anybody who is familiar with Iron Chef Karate's agenda knows that he is a damned positive advertiser for Kyokugen Karate, and fully feels that this is the best and healthiest school of martial arts. Todoh-ryuu Kobojutsu, on the other hand, is absolute dog-shit. Its most reprehensible form of combat - its signature move - is approximately as effective as a panda's dick, if you were to ask Iron Chef Karate. It is scum. It is slime. It is the--
KASANE ATE, goes Daniel.
Iron Chef Karate reacts automatically, stepping back prior to -lunging- forwards and letting fly with a single, expertly-thrown fork. The fork -glows-, it should be noted, a warm, earthen gold in color, positively packed full of Iron Chef chi mastery. It slices through the Kasane Ate like a hot knife through Iron Chef Stadium butter, and presumably Daniel is going to need to act fast if he wants to -live-.
"FIFTEEN MINUTES REMAINING!! OUR COMPETITORS NEED TO START THINKING ABOUT PLATING! THEIR! FOOD!!"
Now this is just getting ridiculous.
"Argh! Dammit!" Hon-Fu, riding Raiden's shoulders, is able to survey quite a bit of the surrounding terrain, which of course is a scene of utter and complete devastation. "You-- sit-- down! Gahh!" Ignoring the heinous collateral damage of this confrontation, the Fearless Detective begins fearlessly wailing upon the giant wrestler's head with his nunchaku, ignoring everything else in favor of doing his absolute utmost to brain Raiden as frequently and fiercely as possible with his weapon.
"Hey, Daniel!" he shouts as an afterthought / battle cry, still not paying attention to any activity other than his absorbing effort to crack the Syndicate goon's skull like an egg. "You holding up alright over there!?"
Quietly, in the background, an old man coughs up a fajita.
It is a peaceful scene, contrasting with the surrounding chaos, like a butterfly fluttering through a forest ablaze.
Soon, presumably, to ignite and fall inaudibly wailing to a baleful death.
COMBATSYS: Daniel fails to slow Ko'ou Ken from Takuma with Kasane Ate.
TAKUMA
[ |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| ]
1|================|===============
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > /////// ]
Hon-Fu 1/-------/=======|=======\==-----\1 Daniel
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Raiden 0/-------/-----==|
Daniel Jack does not know what is happening. All he knows is that this stranger defeated his ultimate technique: A Kasane Ate. Well, one of his ultimate techniques. All of his Todoh powers were ultimate techniques. Summoning up his inner strength, he readies another wave of energy; Another Kasane Ate to stop the burning fork. As the speed fills his heart... it ends up for naught.
"KASANE URKAY"
Came the cry as Daniel Jack catches the fork in his hand as he swipes the other hand. The fork stuck right through his palm, the detective sucks air in agony. "FFFFFF HON FU! SAMPLER PLATTER ON TAKUMA! GET IT UP!" The detective shouts, praying that this mysterious figure doesn't follow up....
COMBATSYS: Raiden fails to interrupt Strong Punch from Hon-Fu with Medium Throw.
TAKUMA
[ |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| ]
1|================|===============
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > /////// ]
Hon-Fu 1/-------/=======|=======\==-----\1 Daniel
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Raiden 0/-------/----===|
The crowd would clearly be going wild right now, if the crowd actually existed, and Raiden takes in that theoretical-but-not-real energy, getting /super-pumped/. Eventually, he begins to register that something is not right, however. There is...a man? There is a man. There is a man on Raiden! Attacking him!
"Hrrrragh!" Finally aware of Hon-Fu's presence on his shoulders now that the man is just flat-out beating him over the head, Raiden begins to spin and twirl like a helicopter or a blender or something other delightfully fast thing in an attempt to dislodge the detective. He starts, anyway, except he is still sort of dizzy and Hon-Fu is beating his head and making it hurt even more and
"Urrrrrrgh...Raiden...Raiden does not feel so good." He stops before he can even really get started, staggering a step and shaking his head awkwardly, awkwardly fumbling at one of the abandoned but still mostly intact tables for something to drink. "Raiden needs a pick-me-up."
At the Kyokugen Dojo, a hastily-scribbled note rests on the refigerator. It is anchored in place by one of Yuri's yearbook photo magnets, and reads: "Shopping, back in time for after-dinner before-snack training session #3!" The Sakazaki Cadillac, still dented from its previous outing, is gone.
It has been in front of the Southtown Costco for 3 weeks. Search parties have come and gone - locals thought Sakazaki to be stuck in the Costco's meat freezer, but had no success searching there. He is, for the moment, still at large.
He is -CERTAINLY NOT AT EL FUERTE'S RESTAURANT RIGHT NOW-.
"WHO?!?" Iron Chef Karate doesn't even stop to breathe - the warrior, this -embodiment of karate- lunges forwards, grabbing a discarded turkey along his route towards the exhausted, bloodied Daniel Jack. That turkey is lifted high above Iron Chef Karate's head, and brought down -SQUARELY- on Daniel's own, neck-first. Provided he gives the detective a new hat, Iron Chef Karate drives the younger man's turkey-coated head *DOWNWARDS*, towards a rapidly rising knee.
"Maybe you should look into signing up for his dojo, youngster!! Ho ho!! It'll be the first step towards getting all of that dogshit out of your eyes, that's for sure!!" Iron Chef Karate turns to the other two combatants - surely, Daniel is out of the picture now.
"TEN MINUTES LEFT, CONTESTANTS!!"
"WHO IS TAKUMA!?" screams Hon-Fu, as he rides Raiden down the ground, still furiously beating him over the head with his nunchaku with questionable success. "CAN YOU NOT SEE I AM ATTEMPTING TO APPREHEND A CRIMINAL AT LARGE!?" For a guy who was trashed out of his mind five minutes ago, he's articulating himself well enough. "CAN YOU NOT IGNORE THIS MASKED MARAUDER FOR JUST ONE MOMENT AND HELP ME DEFEND THE SANCTITY OF THE L--"
He stops short and gapes as Tak-- Iron Chef Karate proceds to pluck a turkey from a nearby table and literally attempt to turn it into Daniel's head, like some sort of bizarre Tekken character. "Dammit!" he roars in indignation as, having no choice, he is forced to defend his ol' pal once again, leaping from Raiden's shoulders in an effort to drive down mightily upon their masked opponent's head, showing no mercy to this mysterious douchebag. "Who ARE you, you FREAK!?" he screams as he descends, nunchaku whirling wildly. "YOU'RE AIDING AND ABETTING A KNOWN FUGITIVE!" Clearly having difficulty turning off his caps lock, Hon-Fu nevertheless shows no other signs of madness, landing with delicate poise with one foot atop the final remaining chair in their vicinity even as he hammers home at full extension right at Mr. Karate's mask once more.
COMBATSYS: Daniel counters Combo Grapple from Takuma with Jumping Jack Flash.
TAKUMA
[ ||||||||||||||||||||||| ]
1|================|===============
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > ////// ]
Hon-Fu 1/-------/=======|==-----\-------\0 Daniel
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Raiden 0/-------/----===|
Daniel Jack didn't know why he called him Takuma. He didn't even know who Takuma was. The name... just slipped out. Maybe it was his detective senses telling him the obvious. Maybe it was a breach of the fourth wall. Daniel Jack didn't know why he called this man Takuma. But right now, this man was doing the unthinkable.
Trying to recruit him into Kyokugen.
"Hon Fu! Screw the whale! This man is going to ki-" Kill him. Maybe. Or humiliate him. Or both. As the turkey is spiked to the poor detective's head, Daniel Jack has little time to react. The man's turkey comes, and Daniel Jack snaps out his own hands. It was pure reflexes now, and to his own surprise... Daniel grabs the masked man by his arms.
And the Aikido takes over.
Daniel Jack turns his body, keeping his grip on Takuma. Shifting his weight, he directs Takuma to the ground, before sweeping him up again with a great spin. Using the man's weight, he leaps up into the air, holding the masked karate master in the air, above his head. Facing the table, the detective's hand begins to glow with bright orange chi. This energy begins to flow into Takuma as well, an aura of Todoh Energy flowing over him. Looking down on the table filled with curry pepper tacos, Daniel Jack roars out loudly, over the entire room.
"KASANE ATE!"
And with that, he spikes Takuma hard into the table, slashing the air with his very form.
Reaching down for a bottle, not even really noticing that Hon-Fu has moved on to greener (redder?) pastures, Raiden picks it up and raises it to his lips to have a hearty swig of whatever it is he doesn't even care. This is a mistake because it turns out to be completely empty of anything except tantalizing, teasing flavor but mostly air. Yet /another/ thing that has not gone right tonight.
"All Raiden wanted...the only thing I wanted was a nice night out and some food and maybe turning a man into a pretzel! Also I wanted some pretzels! But no...rgggh!"
Smashing the bottle against a table so that it shatters appropriately, Raiden then turns to the man who is so clearly responsible for all of his misfortune, the man in the dickmask, /Doctor Judo/.
"I'll tell you who Takuma is. TAKUMA IS AN ASSHOLE!" Charging forward, Raiden does what you do with a broken bottle, which is obviously to stab a bitch. In the /kidney/.
COMBATSYS: Raiden successfully hits Takuma with Small Random Weapon.
TAKUMA
[ ||||||||||||||||||| ]
1|================|===============
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > ////// ]
Hon-Fu 1/-------/=======|==-----\-------\0 Daniel
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Raiden 0/-------/----===|
COMBATSYS: Takuma overcomes Rebound Whip from Hon-Fu with Haoh Sho Ko Ken.
TAKUMA
[ |||||||||||||||||| ]
1|================|===============
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > ////// ]
Hon-Fu 1/-------/=======|==-----\-------\0 Daniel
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Raiden 0/-------/----===|
WHO ARE YOU??!
Hon-Fu lunges towards Iron Chef Karate, -shrieking- something about the 'law' and 'breaking it', but really, Iron Chef has other things to worry about. Namely, Hon-Fu is just flying straight towards his damn face. The battered Tengu mask bears no tell, no sign of emotion while Hon-Fu streaks forwards, downwards.
He lets his hands do the talking. Right now, one of them's thrust forward once again, like one might thrust their hand towards the family dog as it runs straight into oncoming traffic. No effort required, really.
You wouldn't think that, given the enormous BLAST of golden-yellow chi that flies out of Karate's arm, conjured up in the same way a toddler conjures up vomit. He has no time to gloat--
Because his turkeyed opponent has been holding onto his left arm the entire time, and is -just now- flipping him onto the ground, back into the air, and then down for an -INCREDIBLE- orange-chi'd piledriver that has absolutely nothing to do with Kasanes or Ates. Nonetheless, it's obvious that it is the term that did the most damage...
Because Iron Chef Karate is getting back up. Raiden plows full-force into the paragon of punchery, and indeed, sails home with that broken bottle. Blood seeps into the dingy whites of Iron Chef Karate's gi. He does not notice this - if he does, he isn't showing it.
Instead: "YOU IGNORANT WHELPS! I! AM! IRON CHEF KARATE!! I AM SERVING YOU ALL AN ASS-KICKING, //RIGHT NOW//"
COMBATSYS: Hon-Fu blocks Takuma's Haoh Sho Ko Ken.
TAKUMA
[ |||||||||||||||||| ]
1|--------------=|===============
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > ////// ]
Hon-Fu 1/----===/=======|==-----\-------\0 Daniel
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Raiden 0/-------/----===|
Oh my god, this is so terrifying.
"Gaaahh!"
So terrifying that the not-so-fearless detective curls up into a little ball and wails as the horrific storm of energy descends upon him, which is the one instinct that saves his miserable hide, at the cost of hurling him away from Mr. Karate at meteoric speed, a spiralling comet of pain and destruction. Except his arms. Hon-Fu's arms don't hurt, because he can't feel them.
"Fffff--"
With arguable convenience, the end result is that he is sent hurtling right for Raiden, who is entertaining himself by jabbing pointy objects into a stubbornly ignoring-him Iron Chef. Doing his absolute best not to throw up, the utterly disoriented Interpol investigator can only remember his mission: to take down this Syndicate goon at any cost. That's what counts. That's what's important right now. And not, say, that El Fuerte's entire restaurant has been totally dismembered.
"--uuuuuck yoouuu, RAAIIIIDDEEEEENN"
And-- you guessed it--
"Gaah ha ha ha!"
As soon as he collides with Raiden, he rebounds back onto feet and brings his nunchaku right down on poor Raiden's highly battered head.
It was totally a Kasane Ate.
Daniel Jack finishes his spiking of his opponent, and lands upon the ground, growing tired by the second. But not defeated. Charging upon Takuma, he lets Raiden and Hon-Fu deal with the explosion of energy. Or more importantly, the energy that wasn't lashing out at him.
Closing in, Daniel Tax rises his left arm. Orange chi burns for a second as Daniel swipes his had, attempting to chase after Takuma immediately after he tries to blast Hon-Fu. He was being careful, yes, but not too careful. With a roar, the tiny blast arcs out for Takuma, attempting to catch him.
"KASANE ATE!!!"
COMBATSYS: Raiden interrupts Medium Strike from Hon-Fu with Flame Breath.
TAKUMA
[ |||||||||||||||||| ]
1|-----==========|===============
[ \\\\\\\\\\ < > ////// ]
Hon-Fu 2/<<<<<<</<<<<<<<|==-----\-------\0 Daniel
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Raiden 0/-------/------=|
Jab jab jab. Raiden grinds the broken bottle into Admiral Takumarate, but...it is /strangely dissatisfying./ When you get right down to it, using weapons can be fun, but nothing really beats mangling someone with your bare hands. Raiden has learned a lesson today.
Then Hon-Fu is blasted into him with a massive scream, bouncing off nimbly and sending the bulbous man back a step. Raiden frowns. Raiden frowns big.
"No, you little turd!" Raiden inhales deeply after his response, getting ready to show him what shouting is all about. "FUCK! HWOOOOOOOOOOOOO"
Hwoo, naturally, is actually the sound of a quarter-ton man breathing his magical fire breath before certain parties can start hitting him on the head again. It is extremely satisfying, and Raiden files that away at the top of his new mental hierarchy of fun way to mutilate men. Fire, as it turns out, is very exciting. Raiden has learned another lesson today.
COMBATSYS: Takuma blocks Daniel's Mikansei Kasane Ate.
TAKUMA
[ ||||||||||||||||| ]
1|----===========|===============
[ \\\\\\\\\\ < > ////// ]
Hon-Fu 2/<<<<<<</<<<<<<<|==-----\-------\0 Daniel
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Raiden 0/-------/-------|
Kasane Ates mean nothing when Iron Chef Karate is Playing For Keeps. Daniel Jack's tiny blast (and it is tiny!) catches the tengu-masked warrior square in the forearm, doing really no damage at all - a rivulet of blood rolls down Karate's armbeef, and that's about the end of the attack. He looks like he's about to say something important - his eyes have flared appropriately! - and levels a final, intolerant glare towards Daniel Jack.
"This is th--
HWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Infuriated, Iron Chef Karate whips towards Raiden and Escape Velocity Hon-Fu. Yet again, he casts an arm forward, fingers extended violently, and yet -again-, a Raiden-sized globule of yellow-gold chi BURNS through the restaurant.
"WILL YOU SHUT U-*FWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGHHMMM*
Let's sum this up briefly.
Hon-Fu is on fire.
"Aaaaghh!"
Hon-Fu is flying away from Raiden, and toward Daniel and Takuma.
"Ffffuuuuuck!"
Daniel is his buddy.
"Mmmyyy haaaair!"
There is only one productive path for Hon-Fu.
Perhaps merely by means of good fortune, the flagrantly flaming Ace Investigator bypasses the mighty fireball heading right for his criminal adversary by about a couple inches, plunging right past that mighty blow and crashing right through the chair he was going to dance atop, thereby pulping what is probably the last of El Fuerte's furniture. The Dynamic Cooking Daylight Savings Time Extravaganza For Your Mouth Only Restaurant is assuredly to be closed for some time to come. It is as though a hurricane passed through here.
When you put it that way, maybe they're used to this.
"Mmmyyyy beauuutiful haaaair!"
Ooooor maybe not.
Hon-Fu, not knowing whether or not his magnificent bowl-cut will be salvagable, can only throw himself entirely into the task of, well-- the task of being unable to prevent himself from colliding face-first with Takuma Sakazaki. He's already on fire, which is helpful, because he was about to light himself on fire anyway, his nunchaku -- which have miraculously survived -- blurring into a firestorm all their own. "YOU'RE UNNNDEEEER--"
He unleashes the mighty battle cry, and with it seeks to bathe Iron Chef Karate in an unrelenting conflagration.
"ARREST!!"
They'll all end up in jail at this rate.
COMBATSYS: Takuma successfully hits Raiden with Haoh Sho Ko Ken.
TAKUMA
[ ||||||||||||||| ]
1|----------=====|===============
[ \\\\\\\\\ < > ////// ]
Hon-Fu 0/-------/---====|==-----\-------\0 Daniel
[ \\\ <
Raiden 1/-----==/=======|
A Haoshokoken is no laughing matter. This is a lesson Raiden has learned painfully in the past. It is like a malevolent energy being from another dimension, come here soley to spread suffering in its wake. Raiden, unaccustomed and more or less unable to even start to get out of the way, takes the blast of energy that is as large as he is full on.
As it turns out, the common haoshokoken does not care about things like physics, much like Raiden. Perhaps in another time, another place, they could have been friends. Instead the HSKK crashes into Raiden so hard the huge man goes flying straight horizantally, crashing through a wall like it is made of tissue paper. What's it even made of? Wood? Concrete? Brick? It doesn't matter.
/It is sundered/.
And then Raiden is gone, for probably forever. You'll have to arrest him next time, Hon-Fu! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
COMBATSYS: Raiden takes no action.
TAKUMA
[ ||||||||||||||| ]
1|----------=====|===============
[ \\\\\\\\\ < > ////// ]
Hon-Fu 0/-------/---====|==-----\-------\0 Daniel
COMBATSYS: Raiden can no longer fight.
TAKUMA
[ ||||||||||||||| ]
1|----------=====|===============
[ \\\\\\\\\ < > ////// ]
Hon-Fu 0/-------/---====|==-----\-------\0 Daniel
COMBATSYS: Takuma fails to interrupt Yoka Tonhanma from Hon-Fu with Ko'ou Ken.
TAKUMA
[ ]
1|------=========|===============
[ \\\\\\\\\ < > ////// ]
Hon-Fu 0/-------/---====|==-----\-------\0 Daniel
COMBATSYS: Takuma can no longer fight.
[ \\\\\\\\\ < > ////// ]
Hon-Fu 0/-------/---====|==-----\-------\0 Daniel
"ARREST!!!!- *WHOHSOHSOHSHSHOSOHSHSHOWHOSHO*" goes Hon-Fu And The Flaming Nunchuks (A new singing sensation!).
Iron Chef Karate, who has just finished extending one gracious Haoh Sho Ko Ken towards Raiden, turns to deal with this latest threat, yellow eyes VIBRANT, fingers TENSE, and READY, and --
flaming donk
Iron Chef Karate abruptly bursts into flames. His gi is just completely immolated, while that mask remains intact, a grinning spectre of a rapidly charring/peeling Tengu. Promptly the burning man makes a -beeline- for the exit, laughing over the sound of the fires that encompass his entire being.
"Ho ho ho!! Well fought, neurotic policeman, but this will not be the last you've heard or seen of Iron Chef Karate..!" Iron Chef Karate, somewhat less on fire, accidentally steps on Unconscious But Recovering Geriatric Restauranteur on his way out. He reaches into a gi pocket (miraculously nonaflame), and depresses a button, twice.
In the parking lot, a lone Segway growls to life, painted in vibrant, angry red. In the distance, Iron Chef Karate can be seen stumbling out of the restaurant. In mere seconds, he is making a rapid escape onto the United States Interstate!
OMORROW'S HEADLINE: "FLAMING MASKED MAN DRIVES 35 MPH ON INTERSTATE, RESPONSIBLE FOR 3 HOURS OF BACK-UP"
O BE CONTINUED?!?!
Hon-Fu stands alone in silence, nunchaku dangling from one hand. He first looks blearily in Raiden's direction, seeing only a large hole in the wall, evidence of further extremely dangerous structural unsoundness in this restaurant. He then looks blearily in the other direction, and sees a flaming man atop a segway escaping through the window. Then he blankly looks about him, seeing only wreckage.
He drops his weapon to the ground. There is a quiet 'donk'.
And then--
"...Chakow!"
He begins to dance.
The Fuck Yamazaki Dance.
It is the only dance he knows.
COMBATSYS: Hon-Fu has left the fight here.
[ \\\\\\ <
Daniel 0/-------/-----==|
Log created on 19:10:25 11/07/2010 by Daniel, and last modified on 18:47:08 11/08/2010.