Description: Iron Chef, Pao Pao Cafe Edition: a competition of legends, a challenge to see who can become a cooking god. If only Interpol Agent Hon-Fu, recently arrived from Hong Kong, hadn't been too Yamazaki-obsessed to read the fine print of this match up when he hired P.I. Daniel Jack to assist him in his hunt. The plan was to scope the area and make a bit of a splash-- and instead they dropped a Quesadilla Bomb. These patrons had no idea what they were getting into. Blame the judge. [Epic: Fuerte's MAX is countered twice in the same round. Enough said.]
Pao Pao has recently been in a slight slump as far as sales go. In order to try and change things around they decided to start offering various forms of entertainment. Certainly they still offer their business as a location for things such as Saturday Night Fights, but they also are reaching out feelers for other ideas and see how well things work out. Today is one of those test runs to see what will happen. Outside is a badly made sign hanging over the entrance reading 'DYNAMIC COOKING TIME!'. Management is promising great entertainment, but really haven't gotten into details.
Their plan was to attempt something along the lines of Iron Chef. The problem is top tier chefs are a bit pricey so they had to settle with someone who fancies himself a chef in El Fuerte. There are two tables set up on opposite ends of a podium with various ingredients around it. On the podium there is a silver platter that is covered at the moment as the staff try to prepare the contestants. Those poor saps happen to be Hon-Fu and Daniel. This will teach the former that he should indeed read the fine print. For now there is no sight of El Fuerte, but a waiter that doesn't look too happy to be on the mic shows up to speak. "Will both contestants go to their respective tables so we can start?" he asks.
How did he end up here.
Daniel Jack, freelance private investigator and student of the infamous Todoh-Ryuu Kobojutsu, stepped up to the table, dressed to the Zs. Orange jacket, orange slacks, black vest, and an orange fedora, Daniel Jack was the kind of man who tried to keep a low-profile in the most stand-out manner possible. These suits cost a dime a dozen, if by dime you mean $500, and by dozen you mean every damn time Daniel gets into a fight, the suit gets ruined. A wise man would learn to stay out of those suits when on the job.
But Daniel Jack was a detective, not a wise guy.
Wearing an apron decorated with the colorful ensignia of Pao Pao, Daniel Jack looked grim as his tools of the trade. Knife. Cutting Board. Whisk. There was even a diverse collection of spices. Daniel Jack noted to himself the lack of the most important spice for a bachalor like himself: whiskey. It lacked all the fine spices: Jack Daniels, Wild Turkey, not even a small flask of Jim Bean. The detective furrows his brow.
How could a man like him cook under these conditions.
The detective tosses a glance to his opponent. Hon-Fu. His 'partner' in this. A member of Interpol. Nice guy. A bit hot for Daniel's tastes. But he felt something cool deep inside. He was after an old friend of Daniel. A man by the name of Yamazaki. Daniel remembered him as the wood chipper he was sent through for saturday night entertainment. He would have more bad blood for the man, if the nutcase leave him dry. He had better experiences wrestling pit bulls, and better company as well. When Hon-Fu put out the feelers for a partner, Daniel had interest. Besides, after those bad connections with Shadaloo, he needed some positive vibes from the law enforcement community. The detective furrows his brow, and adjusts his rosy shades. Daniel Jack hoped Hon-Fu knew what he was doing. Well, hope may be the wrong word.
Before the show, he prayed he knew what he was doing.
"I have no idea what I'm doing."
Hon-Fu says this to himself, his eyes glazed over as he regards his own apron. He doesn't quite remember putting it on, much as he does not remember anything in the short contract he signed for this job having anything to do with cooking. Hon-Fu does not read fine print. He also, apparently, does not read signs that say DYNAMIC COOKING TIME. Hon-Fu doesn't do a lot of reading in general, okay. He's a busy man. A busy, flame-shooting, nunchuk wielding man.
Busy with--
YAMAZAKI.
Suddenly, abruptly, Hon-Fu, wise-cracking Hong Kong detective -- unlike Daniel, he has had enough experience at this to multiclass with 'wise guy' already -- snaps his chin up, as though awakening from a doze, and darts his gaze around, scanning with a practiced nonchalance even as he twitches slightly. He's in Southtown now, and he has a mission. It was tough work convincing the higher-ups that Interpol had something invested in the law enforcement situation in Southtown; even with the none-too-pleasant reveals that implicated the police force in abetting criminal activity when Howard fell, as it were, after the Invasion, it wasn't easy getting Japan to accept international intervention. Even now, the police themselves remain defensive -- perhaps understandably -- and aren't going to be any help to Hon-Fu. Not that he trusts them, considering that they've never much bothered Yamazaki in the past anyway. But he knows that Yamazaki's gotten his hands dirty with the Triads. He may have had to fudge the evidence a little. But Hon-Fu, good cop though he may be, is not above that.
This is personal.
Instinctively he reaches down to grip the nunchuks belted at his waist, and immediately he relaxes, the tension leaving his body, an easy grin returning to his features. At last he seems okay with this situation; his eyes drift down to the prepations at the table before him. Casually he tightens the strand at the back of his apron, and quirking his eyebrows glances over to where his partner and now adversary stands. "All in a day's work, Jack," he quips, still grinning. "Don't worry. We're hiding in plain sight. Especially you."
The guy's not police, but better than nothing. Hopefully. But Hon-Fu has confidence in a man who wears orange. It's a long story.
"This is the best way to scope him out... and /finally/ catch him."
What he hasn't told Daniel is, well--
They're not hiding at all.
He /wants/ Yamazaki to know he's here.
Yamazaki would probably be here if he could. Mostly to laugh his ass off at what Hon-Fu is having to do. That and to possibly stab him before wandering off. Instead it will only be moderate violencing to be had tonight. Can these men prepare a meal while subdueing their opponent? This and many more questions will be answered very shortly. With both men in place the waiter looks at the card handed to him and clears his throat. "And your host for tonight's Dynamic Cooking Time....The Hurricane of the Gulf....El Fuerte." He doesn't even sound enthused. He is more moving to get out of the way as oddly enough a mariachi band exits the kitchen first.
There is silence before the trumpet player begins with a few familiar chords. 'Is that The Final Countdown?' one customer asks and he only gets nods as the rest of the band soon joins in for their rendition of the Europe song. "With more excitement! It is....DYNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMIC!" comes a loud yell as El Fuerte powerslides out from the kitchen with arms raised. "COOOOOOOOOKING TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIME!" he declares and jumps to his feet. He is dressed in his wrestling boots and tights, but instead of being shirtless like normal he is wearing a sharp button up shirt with a business coat over it and a tie with little jalapenos on it. Of course he also has his mask on as the crowd just stares at him. They aren't sure if they should be clapping or running.
The luchador quickly points to both Daniel and Hon-Fu. "Are you gentlemen ready!?" he asks as he turns about and retrieves the silver platter and removes the lid. "You must make us all something delicious with these ghost peppers and marshmellows I have brought out." Yes, the crowd definantly is starting to lean towards running at the moment. "Whoever is left standing may complete their dish and have me, the great chef El Fuerte taste it and let you know if you have a future in the business or not."
The platter is set down and he moves to stand behind his podium. "But beware. Not only are you two competing against one another, but there might be tricks and traps hidden about so be careful!" He takes a few moments to look over the area and he seems pleased before thrusting his finger in the air. "Mariachi Marco, play us some battle music!" he declares and the band picks up again. This time they begin a rendition of Beat It as Elfuerte slams his hands down on the podium. "Gentlemen, begin!"
Daniel Jack glares at the Marachi Band. He then glares at El Fuerte. Moving it over, he next glares at the silver platter, his features growing more stony. Finally, he shifts his intense gaze at Hon-Fu. There was only one disappointment in Daniel Jack heart right now.
This was not the stupidest thing he was forced to take part in.
"Well, scuzzy. I gotta tell you that this here is real sharp mess you got us sunk deep in, you dig?" The detective growls, trying to avert his eyes from touching.... the frightening pepper man. Moving over to the silver platter, he keeps his body language tight. Defensive. And none to happy. His eyes continue to burn coldly behind his shades. "I got only one last hope for you, my fellow 'chef.'" The detective states, stopping short of the platter. He was expecting trouble from this stranger. Fun trouble? Or something grimmer. "Your cooking skills got to be better than your reading comprehension, you dig?" Daniel Jack's jaw tenses up into a tight smiles. Slowly, steadily, he makes the first move.
He snatches out his hand to capture a fist full of marshmallows.
Oh, wow.
Who is /this/ clown.
Hon-Fu's grin goes slack, simply staring in silence and ignoring Daniel's intense glare as he... admires (?) El Fuerte's exemplary personal style.
"Peppers... and marshmellows..."
Idly, Hon-Fu, expression still ambiguously slack, drifts his hand to his waist.
"Tricks... and traps."
Well, if Yamazaki is here, he'll notice.
And, conveniently, it seems like everyone else wants to leave.
"I'll do it!!" Hon-fu suddenly shouts with overwhelming intensity, a fearless -- 'shameless', maybe, a better word -- light shining in his eyes. "Never underestimate the cooking of a Chinese man! I'll show you I'm a /god/ of cooking!" Immediately his nunchuks emerge from his belt as though of their own accord, whirling in his hand wildly, as his gaze darts down to the platter before him -- and then to his partner, as he sees him making the first move.
"Oh no you /don't/!"
And suddenly the spirited detective is diving for the platter before him. It's an abrupt shift to enthusiasm, but whether he's genuinely excited about the prospect or just casually embracing the absurdity of the situation is-- well, it's not obvious, but you can probably deduce it. Nevertheless, he's a competitive guy.
And he's not going to let this private dick grouch at him.
"Take this!"
He may not be fast enough to get to his ingredients before Daniel does. But he's got the nunchuks, and Daniel doesn't, and he has a few tricks of his sleeves. He throws a handful of peppers into the air: nunchuks whirling, all at once a rain of spicy doom is showered across the room at his adversary, exploding with each slap from the dynamic weapon. "WHUUUUAAAAAH!" Now he's really getting into it.
You can tell because the peppers are lighting on fire.
COMBATSYS: Hon-Fu has started a fight here.
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Hon-Fu 0/-------/-------|
COMBATSYS: Daniel has joined the fight here.
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Hon-Fu 0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0 Daniel
COMBATSYS: ElFuerte has joined the fight here on the top side.
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ElFuerte 0|-------|------=
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Hon-Fu 0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0 Daniel
COMBATSYS: Daniel dodges Hon-Fu's Sling Whip.
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ElFuerte 0|-------|------=
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Hon-Fu 0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0 Daniel
Daniel Jack dark, gritty nature can only be balanced by the hard life of the streets, a shadowy past filled with death and violence, and the cold, merciless art of Todoh-Ryuu Kobojutsu. Growing up in the hards times in the heart of Nebraska, he and Hon-Fu could not come from more different pasts. But Hon-Fu shares something close with Daniel Jack, something that only be grown from the shared life experiences of detective work.
Having no shame.
Daniel Jack hears the cry, interrupting his marshmallow gathering. "Oh hell n-" He begins, as the spirited interpol detective erupts out with a storm of peppers. Powered by the flurry of nunchuck rage, the detective growled as he does the unthinkable. With a smooth, easy motion, he snatches up the lid to the platter. Aiming it with the pit aiming for Hon, the detective begins collecting the crushed peppers. With surprising reflexes, he finally catches the full onslaught in the lid, carrying them as a basket. The detective himself did not look amused as he flips it over, and grips the lid by the inside of the rim.
"Real charming of you, scuzzy. Real sharp, honest to the mother mary. Thanks for the peppers, but I don't need them for MY cooking style. So I'm going be real gentleman-like, you dig it? So, -partner-, let me lay it straight to you:"
"Catch"
With a smooth motion, the detective snaps his arm forward, sending the lid full of crushed peppers directly for Hon Fu. If he was as sharp as he said he was, he would catch it.
If not?
Well, that's for throwing peppers at him!"
COMBATSYS: Hon-Fu fails to counter Thrown Object from Daniel with Kaoloon's Prediction.
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ElFuerte 0|-------|------=
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Hon-Fu 0/-------/------=|-------\-------\0 Daniel
No fear. No shame.
No chance in hell.
Hon-Fu just grins as his partner-in-crime... fighting... evades his flung peppers, a few of the bar patrons who were quietly gathering together to leave pausing in the process as the battle abruptly commences. But when his efforts are reciprocated, on a lid to boot, Hon-Fu stands fast, nunchuks still whipping about him, perpetually in motion. "Ha ha ha!" With a confident, boisterous laugh, the Chinese detective snaps out artfully with his weapon, clearly about to perform a fabulous trick.
It /almost/ works.
"Guhhh!"
Tagging the edge of the lid with a precise blow, Hon-Fu aims to redirect the momentum of Daniel's attack by sending the lid whipping up into the air, peppers held to the makeshift plate by centrifugal force, whereupon presumably he would dramatically catch it. The technique is rendered moderately less cool when the edge of the lid, whirling upward now, instead smacks Hon-Fu directly in the face as it flips upward, knocking him to the ground with a resounding crash.
"M- My eyes!"
The lid flips ever-downward; there is a sharp intake of breath from the crowd.
Until one foot snaps up to catch the lid face-up, peppers poised.
Grinning at the smattering of applause, Hon-Fu then grunts as he thrusts his foot up to lightly toss the lid into the air, kipping up to a standing position, and /then/ catching it in his hand. "Thanks for the peppers, boss," he chuckles, clearly undismayed by his early flop.
El Fuerte stands behind the podium with a grin on his face as he watches the two combatants begin with their fighting. He is at least giving them some time to start scrambling for things before he lets the first of his traps off. "One possesses great spirit, but the other has yet to show any true spice!" he comments and he claps in the direction of Hon-Fu. Of course he is supposed to be impartial, but it is hard not to cheer for a man who seems to be exited to be in the fight in a genuine fashion. "Now that you have started how about we add some more things for you both to use!"
With a clap of his hands a few chefs come out from the kitchen with a few pots that are covered with lides. "Gentlemen......give them some more ingredients to work with!" And oh how they do. The lids come flying off and all the chefs sling the contents along the ground. It looks like it is uncooked bits of squid with water that is sloshed about the floor that makes the owner look away and cover his eyes. He just had the floor cleaned before all of this mess.
COMBATSYS: Daniel blocks ElFuerte's Calamari Slide.
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ElFuerte 0|-------|-------
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Hon-Fu 0/-------/------=|-------\-------\0 Daniel
Daniel Jack smirks a bit. Not when his partner gets pegged in the face by the lid, no. That wasn't the least bit funny to the detective. What Daniel Jack was bemused by was the flashy recovery after that. Daniel Jack may not show it much, but he is a man of flash. Flash, as Master Todoh taught, was at heart the spirit of the ultimate technique, Kasane Ate. Continuing his smirk, he heads back to the platter. "Not a problem, buddy. Not a problem at-"
Suddenly squid.
Daniel Jack begins to slip and slide as his dear moderator brings out the next ingredient: squid. The detective didn't even get his marshmallows. -GLARING- at the psycho chef who is leading this, his forward momentum keeps going forward. The detective's snappy gumshoes were losing their grip on the floor. Daniel Jack was swiftly losing his balance, and with a last ditch save, decides to go with the fall.
Falling on his back, the detective's hat attempts to flies off as he keeps continuing to slide forward. Snapping his hand out, he manages to crush the hat right back on his head, somewhat hurt, but more dangerously out of control. Daniel Jack bowls under the table, spinning slowly on his back as a turtle might. Continuing forward, he begins to drift towards Hon-Fu. "Watch out, scuzzy! I can't sto-" He starts as keeps shooting ahead, unwittingly ready to plow right into his partner in anti-crime.
COMBATSYS: Hon-Fu endures ElFuerte's Calamari Slide.
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ElFuerte 0|-------|------=
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Hon-Fu 0/-------/----===|-------\-------\0 Daniel
COMBATSYS: Hon-Fu interrupts Gang Buster from Daniel with Headbutt Exit.
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ElFuerte 0|-------|------=
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Hon-Fu 0/-------/---====|====---\-------\0 Daniel
Suddenly... squid.
Hon-Fu won't deny it: he's pleased and impressed with his previously miffed partner's reaction. This guy has spirit. Guess you have to have /something/ to dress like that, and it's /probably/ spirit, but you never know. Now he does. He grins back at the smirking detective, placing the plate of peppers down. "Alright, time to sllaaaaaaa--"
Dancing nimbly away as water sloshes around his ankles, the impromptu audience at the Pao Pao simply stares in abject awe as the two fighters seek to regain their purchase. It's all going to well-- until, inevitably, a squid in the wrong place at the wrong time seals the deal.
"Gaaaahhh--"
Nunchuks whirl wildly, as though they might hover him up out of the water. Sadly, we don't get to see this happen. Trying to hold on to his plate with one hand, maintaining his grip on his weapon with the other, Hon-Fu is unable to brace himself on anything as he keels headlong toward Daniel. He can't stop either, apparently.
Well.
There's only one thing to brace himself against now.
Sorry, Jack.
The Chinese case-cracker allows himself to plunge forward, aiming his tough forehead straight for the person against whom he is already doomed to crash. Nothing personal, man. He likes you-- just not /that/ much.
*WHAM!*
Saving his own skin, Hon-Fu rebounds from the impact, slightly dazed and a little the worse for wear but still standing, even doing a little spin, as though he were a nunchuk-wielding figure skater. He elicits another smattering of hesitant applause, but ignores the audience, instead turning a dry eye on El Fuerte.
"Not sure I like your style anymore, judge-man."
*WHAM*
The end result of the slide is not pretty for Daniel Jack. A power slide is definitely not a joke, and Daniel had no intention of making light of it. It can be a tough and emotional thing for partners to go through, as the detective was learning from personal experience. And he knows that it's often much harder on the partner than on the slider. However, Daniel also knew that it doesn't necessarily turn you into a sad, depressed sack of tears for the rest of your life. People can move past it, and heal.
And Daniel does so.
"You know what, buddy? You are on to something." Gingerly grabbing the edge of Hon's counter, the detective slowly brings himself up. His jacket was now saturated with squid slime, pepper juice, and marshmallows. Tossing the jacket on the counter, he reveals the black button-down shirt underneath, a pair of suspenders to help hold up his pants... and at least two concealed carry holsters, one in the front, one in the back.
Both fortunately, completely empty.
Snapping his suspenders, the detective flashes a HOT gaze at El Fuerte. "You know, Mexico, you seem to want a whole lot of spice from me. A whole lot. And judging by your tastes, I gotta say: You're a no talent in cooking. Period. Hon-Fu, I think it's time to teach this brightly colored finch how to cook the only way I know how."
"Hard boiled."
Daniel leaps through the air, breaking the rules of the event by turning on the moderator. If successfully, Daniel Jack would twist El Fuerte down to the ground, snapping him to the floor with a full-formed take-down. A loose cannon, like most vigilantes, Daniel Jack had it up to here, no no, not there. HERE. Right here with squid.
And besides, he ruined his suit.
"Pfft."
'Hard boiled.'
"I mean, uh, definitely," Hon-Fu hastily says, rubbing his mouth with the back of his hand to hide his sudden grin. "Yeah, let's get him, Jack. I'm right behind you."
He watches through narrow eyes as Daniel plunges forward.
"Right... behind you."
Setting down the lid of peppers, Hon-Fu stealthily leans down to gather up stray pieces of uncooked squid, plopping them down into the makeshift plate and beginning to mix them furiously, marinating the seafood with a wild gleam in his eye.
It's still a competition, after all.
If he's here, he might as well win.
COMBATSYS: Hon-Fu enters a meditative state.
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ElFuerte 0|-------|------=
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Hon-Fu 0/-------/-======|====---\-------\0 Daniel
COMBATSYS: ElFuerte dodges Daniel's Skiffle Drop.
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ElFuerte 0|-------|------=
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Hon-Fu 0/-------/-======|====---\-------\0 Daniel
Things were turning out quite well if El Fuerte does say so himself. The folks seem to be less horrified now and instead they are enjoying the oddness that has broken out here in the Pao Pao Cafe. The owner and staff? Yeah, don't go holding your breath for them to be welcoming back El Fuerte and his hijinx anytime soon. Right now he probably owes more than they are paying him. Not that he cares. He is having a great amount of fun and in fact it seems like things are going to become alot more fun given the way the pair are looking at him.
The masked fighter raises a brow and he loosens his tie. "I see. Attack the host is it?" he asks and he removes the tie and tosses it aside. He then takes a deep breath and rips off his jacket and shirt with his hands and quickly removes them even as Daniel comes towards him.
El Fuerte quickly sidesteps to where Daniel runs into the tatters of his coat and shirt. "Ole!" Of course he isn't done yet as he grabs the podium and kicks his feet up to wrap his legs around Daniel. He then uses his impressive upper body strength to get the momentum to pick up Daniel and flip him over the podium back in the direction of Hon Fu.
COMBATSYS: Daniel blocks ElFuerte's Guacamole Leg Throw.
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ElFuerte 0|-------|------=
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Hon-Fu 0/-------/-======|=====--\-------\0 Daniel
"Flippin Clowns?" Was the cry from Daniel Jack as he finds himself flying right into the jacket of the wrestler. A roar from the crowd is not due to his skills. No, it was due to his clumsy advance. As he is still blinded by the coat... he feels something large and strong wrap around his neck. Oh, he could predict the pain. He couldn't avoid it. The question is how he could mitigate it. Flipped over the podium, Daniel flies through the air. "INCOMING HAN!" He cries as the coat falls away... and he seems to be beelining it straight for Han.
But he wasn't going to hurt his fr-comrade again.
Twisting his body, he smashes into the platter, getting a face full of peppers and marshmallows as he crashes over the table into the ground. Fortunately, he rolls. Rolls hard. Tumbling off the table, he perks up. Smeared with the contents of the platter, he removes his shades to wipe the peppers from his eyes... and squints in pain.
"GAAGH! Hon, you were gonna have my back buddy!" Still squinting hard, he focuses on his partner... and realizes what HIS priorities are. "Oh ho ho HO! So you are going to turn on me, huh? For cooking? You both don't believe in me, or my spirit in Todoh, do you? Well, this cool cat is gonna to show you just what I can do. It looks like it is time for..."
Daniel replaces his shades.
"... Take this to the next level."
Daniel suddenly lights up with burning, orange chi as he flexes. "OOOOWA!" Came the cry as he punches the air. Dropping his hand, he snatches a fist full of marshmallows. "OOOWA!" Came the cry as he leaps through the air, dropping right in front of the wok. Using the sacred art of bachalor cooking, he begins to hurl marshmallows at the pan. Turning up the heat, he seems to burn brighter as he keeps throwing marshmallows in. "Ultimate dessert technique of the lonely Friday Night! Marshmallow cake! But it needs something to spice it up!" The detective spits as he reaches to his belt... and draws out a small metal flask. Opening the cask, he suddenly turns it over, allowing the contents to pour over the wok.
"It looks like it is time for me to go and..."
COMBATSYS: Daniel jacks it up a notch!
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ElFuerte 0|-------|------=
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Hon-Fu 0/-------/-======|======-\-------\0 Daniel
It's so entertaining Hon-Fu's almost forgotten about Yamazaki.
"I'm all over it, comrade!"
Appropriate enough, now that Hong Kong is a part of Communist China. Hon-Fu leaps forward, just grinning as a gypped Daniel rants at him about his lack of support. "Hey, I just had to put the peppers down! No problem!" This guy may be a decent detective, but he's sure as hell no God of Cooking. Hon-Fu is confident of victory. Moreover--
"Hyaahh!"
He wants to take a crack at this host too.
Leaving Jack to his loneliness-infused dessert preparations, the nunchuk-wielding agent skims smoothly through the water, skating neatly and fearlessly toward his masked adversary. "Hurricane of the Gulf, eh? So you think you've got the right to mess with me like this?"
The coat Daniel harmlessly flung at him is caught by the whirling nunchuks; suddenly Hon-Fu is like a matador, sweeping a cloak about him as he advances, obscuring his movements as he approaches until it is flung up and aside-- and the strike goes low, a wide sweep aiming to take El Fuerte's legs out from under him as Hon-Fu cries out with merry intensity.
"Well, you HURRICAN'T!"
A double-pronged attack, it seems.
COMBATSYS: ElFuerte interrupts Medium Strike from Hon-Fu with Fajitas Buster.
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ElFuerte 0|-------|---====
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Hon-Fu 1/-----==/=======|======-\-------\0 Daniel
This does seem to make for more fun on El Fuerte's part. He was not expecting to be able to battle like this and instead be left just calling in for new ingredients each time. These two certainly have the fighting spirit. Now if only he can get them to work on the cooking spirit a bit more. There is still much to teach them, but given both are taking time to try and do something he will give them some credit. After he releases Daniel, El Fuerte shifts about to flip skywards and land on the podium with a pose. "Come on now. Who will show the greater ambition and finish their meal? That is the true winner!"
His attention is then turned to Hon-Fu who looks to have decided to switch gears again and this time come towards El Fuerte. When that swing comes in the luchador actually leans forward to where the nunchuks do slam into his shins. It is all part of a plan as he falls forward he is going behind Hon Fu's back to where he can slip his arms around the other man's waist and then use his momentum to lift the Chinese fighter off his feet, flip him about and drop the poor sap right on his head. "FAJITAS....BUUUUSTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" he cries out as the impact sends peppers, squid, etc everywhere and onto some of the nearby patrons.
Daniel finishes off the flask with the marshmallow, and shifts the stove to a low heat. "Now to let it simmer down... and time for me to SIMMER UP!" Daniel Jack works around the counter, and tightens his fists. "El Fruitbat! As our food cooks up, I think it is time to teach you a lesson in how to make it, shake it, and bake it! Hon-Fu, get back in the kitchen.
"It's time for a bitchin'"
As Hon is spiked faster than a blonde's drink in downtown Southtown, Daniel Jack steps it up and pushes hard into El Fuertre's personal space. He is passing over the grapples for some karate sleuth work. Using the ancient techniques bestowed to him by the great Master Todoh, he unleashes a palm strike, chained directly into hand chop. This furious combo begins to drive harder and harder as he advances faster and faster, unleashing another palm strike before swinging his whole body into a powerful, roundhouse kick, attempting to overwhelm El Fuerte with COMBOS!
And he may not have fries with that.
That could have been worse.
Hon-Fu tells himself this as he struggles to his feet, slipping and falling, having slid all the way back to the counter at which he was cooking before he was unceremoniously hurled by the master of ceremonies. "Ouch," he remarks to no one in particular, squinting down at his now sopping-wet clothes with a vaguely unhappy expression. Okay, /now/ maybe he hopes Yamazaki actually ends up having nothing to do with this. And never hears about it. Ever.
"K-Kitchen? Uhh--" What a dick. Hon-Fu just shrugs, lifting his hands up in an appeal to Buddha, shaking his head. "I'll do that, Jack. Good luck over there." Get your ass kicked, would you? Grinning to himself again, he sauntered back over to where his squid has finished marinating. Digging beneath the counter for materials, Hon-Fu begins to seek out bell peppers, onions, and other vegetables. Soon he is chopping them.
A light begins to gleam in his eyes.
"Yeah! Yeah!! YEAH!!"
God of Cooking.
God of Cooking!!
Burning with an intense zeal, Hon-Fu furiously prepares his meal.
COMBATSYS: Hon-Fu enters a trance-like state.
[ |||||||||||||||||||||||| ]
ElFuerte 0|-------|---====
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > /////////////////// ]
Hon-Fu 1/----===/=======|======-\-------\0 Daniel
COMBATSYS: Daniel successfully hits ElFuerte with Zoot Suit Riot.
[ ||||||||||||||||||||| ]
ElFuerte 0|-------|--=====
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > /////////////////// ]
Hon-Fu 1/----===/=======|=======\-------\0 Daniel
The problem with letting himself get distracted with one person means El Fuerte takes his eyes off the other for at least a short moment. Even with his quick reflexes he is hard pressed to get moving quickly in this mess and avoid Daniel when he comes to attack him. He attempts to cover up as best he can, but it is a pretty shoddy attempt at blocking the attacks. It makes the luchador have to stagger back a few steps once he does get to his feet. "I would say your friend has the lead, senor." he tells Daniel as he points towards Hon-Fu.
Of course part of it is the truth. The other part is El Fuerte attempting to make Daniel look the other way so he can quickly dash forward and grasp Daniel by his shirt. If he can get a good grasp he falls backwards and kicks his legs up in an attempt to monkeyflip Daniel up and away from him so he can attempt to get his back to the pair and keep an eye on them both.
COMBATSYS: Daniel endures ElFuerte's Quick Throw!
[ |||||||||||||||||||||| ]
ElFuerte 0|-------|--=====
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > /////////////// ]
Hon-Fu 1/----===/=======|=======\=------\1 Daniel
Daniel Jack goes *POW* *BAM* *ZOOM* *KATHUMP!* at the wrestler, letting the luch- I mean, LUNCHador know who is boss. Daniel Jack jaw was tensing, determination and cunning filling him. But then, El Fuerte points out that Hon-Fu was in the lead. Daniel Jack gets a... gleam in his eyes. Turning around, he looks squarely at his partner. "Oh no. Hon is beating me. Oh what. Oh what will I do." The detective deadpans as El Fuerte grabs him... and hurls him.
As according to plan.
As Daniel monkeyflips in the air, he begins to adjust his position of landing to his kitchen station. Gracefully landing on his head with a sharp crack, the detective drunkenly rises up, his hat and glasses gone. But a look of intense passion on his face. Inspecting his brown, sharp-smelling mound of melted marshmallow, he nods deeply. "Hon-Fu! My dessert is done! I think it is time for us..."
The detective eyeglints towards El Fuerte as he lifts the pan up by the handle.
"... To bring the dish to the moderator."
Daniel suddenly erupts in a flash of light again. Energy surging back into his heart, Daniel is renewed with a new wave of vigor. Clutching the wok pan tightly, he leaps through the air, body still burning brightly. Moonvaulting, he slows down at the apex... and suddenly spikes towards El Fuerte. If successful, he will bowl down and over El Fuerte, entering a tumble with him. Once he tumbles a few feet, he will pin him down, rise up a bit... and begin to spoon the whiskey-laced burnt marshmallow on top of him.
"And my rival, if he pleases!?!"
Hon-Fu, shuddering with passion, jerks up from his dish.
"Heh heh heh..."
And grins wildly.
"Ha ha ha ha!"
Fearlessly hefting his prepared and marinated -- if uncooked -- spicy squid dish in one hand, taking up and whirling his nunchuks in the other, the daring detective's eyes sparkle with delight, intuitively grasping Daniel's jist even though it's been only moments since he's arisen from his obsessive trance. "You're right. It's time."
Hon-Fu leaps up to the countertop, hoisting his dish aloft.
"DYNAMIC COOKING TIME!"
Oh no he didn't.
Following immediately after Daniel, Hon-fu leaps as will, flipping through the air, crossing paths with Daniel in an aerial dance of delicious death. Abruptly, he too spikes downward -- and the nunchuks, whirling into a blur, erupt suddenly into flame, the two detective-chefs wreathed in a blinding halo of oncoming destruction as the eye-scaldingly spicy entree is thrust down at the... luchadiner.
"HIYAAAAAH!"
Flames both real and imagined collide, slamming into Fuerte with full impact!
COMBATSYS: Daniel and Hon-Fu successfully hit ElFuerte with Sampler Platter.
[ |||||||||| ]
ElFuerte 1|---====|=======
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > ///////////////// ]
Hon-Fu 0/-------/----===|=------\-------\0 Daniel
That went a bit easier than expected. Little did El Fuerte realize that Daniel seemed to have a plan. Such a devious plan at that. One that Hon Fu seems to do well in catching on to. He looks between the two and he starts to put his guard up, but then he is distracted when someone decides to use his line. "What!? How could you!?" he says while pointing to Hon-Fu. Of course he soon realizes the error of his ways in letting himself get distracted in such a manner. That and his foot happens to step on some slipper squid that throws him even more off balance as the two other fighters make him eat defeat and send him into the ground.
Or maybe there is some life left in him just yet. "Gentlemen, you finally seem to understand." he mumbles as he starts to slowly sit up. "But you forgot one thing.....THE SPICE!" he declares and with more energy than he should have he lunges forward while both are close to gether to try to get an arm around the waist of each one. "Let me show you how to add the right amount!"
COMBATSYS: Hon-Fu counters El Fuerte Flying Giga Buster from ElFuerte with Kaoloon's Prediction.
- Power hit! -
[ ||||| ]
ElFuerte 0|-------|----===
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > ///////////////// ]
Hon-Fu 0/-------/---====|=------\-------\0 Daniel
COMBATSYS: Daniel counters El Fuerte Flying Giga Buster from ElFuerte with Mad Jack Crack.
[ | ]
ElFuerte 0|-------|--=====
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > ///////////////// ]
Hon-Fu 0/-------/---====|==-----\-------\0 Daniel
As El Fuerte is fed the food, Daniel Jack lets Hon finish him... and lets El Fuerte finish his plate. The detective was -smiling- now. This was the most fun he has had in a long time. "Well, El Fruity, it looks like we both finished at the same time... and it looks like a draw." The detective passes a glance to Hon-Fu, fist pumping. As he is distracted, he hardly notices when El Fuerte gets up...
But he does notice the hand around his waist.
In his more non-lucid moments, Master Todoh taught street smarts. It was a frightening, traumatic course in the school of Todoh-Ryuu Kobojutsu. But for the still shell-shocked Daniel Jack, it taught something very important. Don't let anyone grab you by the waist. As El Feurte wraps around him, Daniel suddenly twists, and pushes his arms against the man's wrist. Rotating his body around, he twists El Fuerte around, twisting his arm to try and force him to the ground. Fixing him in place, he eyes Hon-Fu, a glint in his eyes as he mischievously calls to his partner. "Hon-Fu! I think it is time to send this man's chops..."
"BACK TO THE GULF!"
Hon-Fu is /all over it/.
"You want spice!? You want heat!?"
He slipped on the squid beneath him a little himself, and, though he won't be quick to admit it, if Daniel hadn't reacted to quickly to El Fuerte's sudden and unexpected recovery and assault, the wise-cracking Chinaman might be flung back to his counter -- or through it -- already. But Hon-Fu's intensity is undeniably, and neither are his nunchaku.
"EAAAT THIIIIS!"
And with that final, ultimate war cry, Hon-Fu snags Fuerte's remaining arm with the chain of his weapon, nimbly trapping the wrestler's other free limb, and hops up, igniting all at once as he drops, his elbow alight with the flames of justice, and passion, and Yamazaki-hating, and divine cookery.
The explosive elbow-drop impacts into El Fuerte's prone form so powerfully it leaves cracks in the floor beneath. Who's paying for that? Not us, Pao Pao.
"Whhuauuaaahh!" is Hon-Fu's victory cry as he rises, promptly ignoring his fallen opponent as he pumps one fist in the air. To his own utter surprise, there is a storm of applause from the attentive audience. Well. Maybe someone /will/ get something out of this. Grinning and still soaking wet, Hon-Fu reaches out his other hand to grasp Daniel's own. "Not bad, Jack," he quips, grinning widely. "We make a good team. If Yamazaki doesn't notice this, he's already dead. And he's not already dead."
Abrupt intense-face and eye-gleam.
"Because I'm going to kill him."
Pause.
"A...arrest. Arrest him... is what I said."
That was greatly unexpected. To perhaps not get a grip on one of them was assumed, but the fact both just seem to be working on the same page as if they have been a tag team or such for years is mildy disturbing even to the luchador. Not that he has much time to reflect on it too much since he is being tossed about and grounded once again before he could even get off his offense. "To the Gulf....." he murmurs to himself and he rolls over. He thankfully seems to have landed near his podium and he sits up enough to reach upwards. "I was wanting to save this....for whoever won."
Of course the other bad part is with the judge KO'd a winner could not be decided. Once again not reading the fine print may have just cost Hon Fu or Daniel cash. "Just one final...ingredient. Make good use of it, senors." With that his hand grips the rope near his podium and he tugs down on it while passing out, his body slumping forward as a tarp above gives way and something disgusting and delicious happens. All sorts of toppings falling from the sky that include sour cream, beef, lettucs, guacamole, cheese and tortillas rain from the sky and cover the downed luchador and whoever cannot get away.
COMBATSYS: ElFuerte can no longer fight.
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > //////////////// ]
Hon-Fu 0/-------/---====|=------\-------\0 Daniel
COMBATSYS: Daniel endures ElFuerte's Quesadilla Bomb.
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > /////////// ]
Hon-Fu 0/-------/---====|====---\-------\0 Daniel
COMBATSYS: Hon-Fu endures ElFuerte's Quesadilla Bomb.
[ \\\\\\\\ < > /////////// ]
Hon-Fu 0/-------/=======|====---\-------\0 Daniel
Daniel Jack holds El Fuerte in place long enough for Hon-Fu to finish off... well, actually, why were they fighting him? Man, randomly beating up people for personal slights sounds awfully thuggish. Thank god they were both attached to the police! Perhaps Hon-Fu and Daniel could go cruising for hookers, and arrest them as part of 'sting operations.' "Hon-Fu, this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship." The detective starts as he releases El Fuerte. Screw the money prizes. Screw the fine print.
This was about teamwork.
Then Hon-Fu brings up killing Yamazaki. Daniel Jack pauses for a moment, and scratches his nose. Suddenly, El Fuerte comes raining down with... so much food. Daniel Jack could have dodged. He could have interrupted. He could have tried many things. But instead, he choice to endure it. The onslaught brings him down his knees. So much... FOOD. But he could handle it. HE COULD ENJOY IT. Because this.... this was a reward. A horrible thought reaches the detective. Hon-Fu plan just cost him money in dry cleaning.
HIS SUIT.
Daniel Jack looks over at his partner, a gleam in his eyes as a green, pasty dip pours over his suit. "... Hey, Hon-Fu? I gotta say two things. One, you are the best partner I had the honor of teaming up with. And two?" Daniel Jack suddenly steps up, and winds back a hand. Burning with chi, he gives a powerful chop at the back of his partner's head. "Two, MY SUIT! MY SUUUUUUIT!"
COMBATSYS: Hon-Fu interrupts World's Greatest Hand Chop from Daniel with Sky of Fire Noogie.
[ \\\\ < > ////// ]
Hon-Fu 1/------=/=======|======-\-------\0 Daniel
"Ha ha ha ha!"
Hon-Fu so doesn't care.
"You kidder."
He licks a little guacamole off his nose.
Hon-Fu, given that both his hands are currently occupied, doesn't have too many defensive options-- but one always remains. Fearlessly, he slams his forehead into Daniel's chopping hand, enduring the blow completely-- his knees buckle, reminding him belatedly of how utterly exhausted he is, yet he manages to remain standing. And, still grinning, though his eyes are somewhat glazed, he reaches up to grab his partner in a headlock, pulling his head down. Whoa there.
"Ha ha ha ha!"
Oh, no, it's just a flaming noogie.
"Hope you don't like your haircut!"
Yeah, Daniel's hair is on fire now.
"Ah ha ha ha!"
Good times.
Daniel's bro-chop is interrupted by... a noogie. Daniel Jack became shocked. The wrestle. The buddy cop. The hard-boiled detective. This was not all for Yamazaki.
This was for male bobding.
As Daniel's head bursts into flames, he finally breaks free, and stares at Hon-Fu with great intensity. And then the KO'd El Fuerte. He pauses for a moment, his hair still burning. Finally, he points at El Fuerte.
"Help me carry that man, buddy."
"I am buying you all hamburgers."
Log created on 18:27:38 10/10/2010 by Hon-Fu, and last modified on 00:48:47 10/11/2010.