Description: The Nine Knights enter the fray! The enigmatic and eccentric "thieves' guild" responsible for a rash of confusingly disconnected and often bizarre robberies, often taking place in public view, and equipped with mysterious technology, Dagger and Bang burst onto the scene to foul up a fine day in sunny and still newly-renovated Southtown. Their mission: to steal a magnificent topiary piece of public art. The result: utter catastrophe. Because /someone/ /blew up/ /the topiary/, /Rock/.
"This topiary belongs to us now! Ahahahaha!"
LET'S BACK UP
It seemed like such a good idea.
After the Southtown beautification projects sponsored by the YFCC during their eponymous tournament and the resulting significant increase in tourist, the city's public art budget -- and the value Southtown's citizens put on their own city's aesthetic distinctiveness -- skyrocketed. Soon new statues and durable works of art, most by up-and-coming local or independent artists but some by big foreign names, began to appear all over the city.
But the crowning achievement was to be, in the center of a great plaza in the middle of one of Downtown's biggest shopping districts, a magnificent new floral topiary by Jeff Koons: 'Kitty', done in the style of his legendary 'Puppy' in Bilbao, which looks something like:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Bilbao_Jeff_Koons_Puppy.jpg
Having been designed on the city's outskirts, and just transplanted yesterday, Southtown had only time to do a short local news expose on the new work before, in front of the TV cameras no less--
Disaster struck.
NOW WHERE WERE WE
"Ahahahaha!"
Laughing maniacally, a young woman in thick glasses and a black and brown bodysuit, long braid swinging behind her, points a bizarre weapon at the surrounding crowd: a hovering sword, its blade separated completely from its hilt but somehow floating suspended nevertheless, as though by magnetic force. It flits and flickers around dangerously, forcing the shocked innocents -- most of them just shoppers in between stores, wandering through the outdoor plaza -- before she turns and begins to hack away at the base of the plant with it, eliciting terrible gasps.
It's not entirely clear how she plants to transport it, but--
She clearly has a goal in mind.
"Bang! Make sure nobody tries anything!"
She pauses, and adjusts her glasses for effect.
"Remember, this is for justice."
She does not elaborate.
Hey Dan's in downtown. Awesome, check it out it's Dan. What's he doing today? He's eatin' a popsicle. Yep, just eatin' a popsicle and leaning against a wall, looking at the world with a popsicle induced joy that only popsicles can provide. As he enjoys the day someone steals a giant cat bush. That's wacky as hell. He smiles about this turn of events, and walks closer, all pink and made of joy and probably also sugar.
Lookin' good, Dan. Lookin' good.
In response to the young woman's request, the camera zooms far too dramatically up to the top of the floral topiary... where a dusky-skinned man in a similar bodysuit stands atop Kitty's head, poised on one leg, even though that is prooobably impossible. A ridiculously long and flowing red scarf is wrapped around his neck, and across his back rests an enormous... drill bit... with a handle sticking out above his shoulders.
"Of course, Dagger," Bang agrees melodramatically with the woman below, lifting a clenched, trembling fist before him. "CITIZENS OF SOUTHTOWN! KNOW THAT I - BANG BHISHIGAMI, THE DRILL OF JUSTICE - CLAIM THIS FLORAL TOPIARY FOR THE NINE KNIGHTS! IN THE NAME... OF JUSTICE!!"
Bang is very happy that everyone seems... mostly okay with this. He was worried that society would not understand the needs of justice, and there would be a police response, but all that seems to be happening is that a couple overweight security guards are shading their eyes and squinting up at him with something vaguely resembling concern.
"I suppose it /is/ better for the narrative this way," Bang muses quietly, scratching at his chin. "Perhaps this is a chance to introduce some sort of villain..."
NO BANG. IT IS YOU WHO ARE THE VILLAIN.
The whole tableau is suddenly added to--not interrupted, but added to--by the rumbling of a chopper. Not a helicopter--a vintage Harley-Davidson. Riding atop it is a blond guy in a red-and-white leather jacket, leather pants, and riding shoes. His name is Rock Howard. And he is here... to -stop crime-. He revs his engine, again, and again... and then he peels out. The tires squeal and then he's roaring towards a convieniently-placed Crazy Taxi ramp made of planks leading up an inexplicably-positioned water delivery truck.
"FOUL THIEVES! PUT THIS TOPIARY BACK AND I DON'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES!" he shouts at the top of his lungs, as he flies his bike -right at Bang-!
COMBATSYS: Rock has started a fight here.
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Rock 0/-------/-------|
Dagger freezes in mid-hack.
"Oh my--"
And blushes to the roots of her hair.
"He's-- /so dreamy/."
She's staring straight at Dan. But then Rock flies in on a motorcycle, and she looks as though she's about to start having heart palpitations; her glasses fog up and she almost drops her ring-handled floaty-sword-thing. "You... you... you two..."
But Rock is ignoring her, and aiming for Bang instead.
"You studmuffins!"
She points from Rock to Dan with her sword, wiping drool from her lips with her other hand.
"Make out with each other! RIght now!"
She seems to be trembling slightly, topiary utterly forgotten.
"It's for inspiration!!" she adds tremulously, as she fumbles to extract a small sketchbook from the back pocket of her bodysuit, again almost fumbling her weapon in the process.
COMBATSYS: Dagger has joined the fight here.
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Rock 0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0 Dagger
COMBATSYS: Dagger takes no action.
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Rock 0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0 Dagger
COMBATSYS: Bang has joined the fight here.
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Rock 0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0 Dagger
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Bang 0/-------/-------|
Dan's popsicle drops like a bomb as he's commanded to make out with.. Rock Howard, "Uhhh. Hey, nice bush. What are you two doing with it anyways?" He says this as Rock screams about thieves and then he begins the slow process of piecing things together.
Inside his head, a pink hamster lethargically gets out of bed, does the sunday times crossword, then looks towards the wheel that controls Dan's thoughts and shrugs a little bit before watching some Tom & Jerry.
"....What's going on here?"
COMBATSYS: Dan has joined the fight here.
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Rock 0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0 Dan
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Dagger 0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0 Bang
WHOA HOLD ON ANGEL'S ALREADY BACKIN' IT UP (hellz -yes-)
NESTS Syndicate Headquarters, Southtown:
As before, Igniz and the rest of NESTS pertinent officials sit at an enormous, polished briefing table, which is the spitting image of Igniz's windblown silhouette when viewed from above. The seat closest to the door is notably empty, and a dread silence has overtaken the room for the past five minutes. On the exact other end of the table, Igniz looks up from his clasped hands, thin, adonic lips pulled upwards into a gentleman's sneer.
"She is late again."
Second Floor, Jose Morales' Club "ESTACIONAMIENTO":
Angel is sprawled out on a couch, half-conscious. There is a small colony of beer bottles and dropped disposable shotglasses around her, as though she was the Reverend Al Sharpton of alcohol containers. Beside her, the first place out of three suitors (she is keeping rank by how many drinks they have bought her) is flipping channels on the TV.
He passes the news, moving on to wrestling, then baseball, then a monst-
"NO!! Wait, goback!" Angel is -slapping- at the remote, until #1 relents and goes back to wrestling (this is all Angel has been talking about, all night.) He is slapped again, and finally - the news. Angel watches the program with rapt, hazy eyes, but she's got a telling expression on her face. The pouting lips, the about-to-burst eyes, the subtle thrust of chest, wriggle of hips...
"Eh... joo want us to buy you, like, a flower bush??"
That topiary would look -so good- in Igniz' garden. He might even let her off the hook for missing a meeting..!!
BACK IN THE NOW:
Angel, an opportunist, is following Rock's DYNAMIC ENTRY on her own comissioned vehicle - some beater of a car with one of the most unnecessarily powerful hydraulics she's ever experienced. Of -course- she's driving it right up that same Crazy Taxi ramp, and of -COURSE- she's driving as fast as she possibly can, windows down, random music (Some Ke$ha song, she doesn't know it) -blaring- from the windows. It would all have gone -absolutely perfect-, provided Angel did not feel the need to tap her feet to the pulsing beat, and let her thigh nudge one of the custom buttons on the car's stick shift.
At the last second, the busted-up auto jerks upwards and to the left, a move that's damned sure to impress the chicas provided it isn't the last thing one does before they fly off of a ramp.
Resultingly, the car starts spiraling, mid-air, and while a TRICK COMBO -does- start tallying up somewhere, it's completely ruined when the car careens directly into Popsicle Dan's Popsicle Stand of a table.
Angel is too clever to be caught up in the shit, though, and has rolled out of the car - landing on her knees, panting, and directly in front of Dagger. An assassin's training allows her to view the newcomer and the topiary with quick assessment:
"Have you been -hacking that plant up-?? You can't transplant it like that!! Ig is gonna be -pissed-... are you, like... are you retarded...?" Angel is screaming at first, but grows more cautious as time goes on - the news is here! Even so, she's getting to her feet, and -getting ready to win her plant-.
COMBATSYS: Angel has joined the fight here.
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Dan 0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0 Angel
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Rock 0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0 Dagger
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Bang 0/-------/-------|
COMBATSYS: Bang fails to counter Huge Random Weapon from Rock with Burning Heart.
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Dan 0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0 Angel
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Rock 0/-------/------=|-------\-------\0 Dagger
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Bang 1/-------/=======|
"Thieves? THIEVES?!" Bang roars, posing dramatically atop his floral topiary perch. "BANG BHISHIGAMI IS NO THIEF! THE NINE KNIGHTS MUST HAVE THIS FLORAL TOPIARY, SO THAT WE MAY-"
The rest of Bang's speech is cut off, because Rock just drove a motorcycle into him while he was talking, instead of defending himself. Stuck to the front of the vehicle, Bang - and it - go crashing down to Earth; for a brief moment, upon landing, Bang is sandwiched between the pavement and the motorcycle's front wheel, before simply momentum lifts the motorcycle off of him and sends it away.
Which leaves Bang lying in a crumpled heap on the ground, curled vaguely into the fetal position. If he's breathing, it is too softly to tell.
He might be dead.
Rock leaps off the motorcycle as it goes flying; not fifteen yards away, a black man, clad in black, with a sword on his back, drops onto it out of nowhere. As someone shouts, "OH MY GOD, IT'S WESLEY SNIPES!!" he roars off, and several black cars with the IRS logo roar off into the distance after him. Rock, however, has now just landed on the the pavement, turning to face Bang Bhishigami.
"BANG BHISHIGAMI!" he shouts, then notices that the man may be dead. "... nevermind, you're probably drunk," he says, and runs past the flopped-out ninja with the tire tracks on his face in favor of going after Dagger. Because, well, girl. Not ugly ninja with his own lame -theme song-.
"HEY GIRL," shouts Rock, because being loud is all the rage, "Gotta ask you to take this topiary back! They still need it!!" And he's going to back up that with a flying left elbow, taking him horizontally towards her chest--and he'll even add in a second grope, a palm aimed for her chest. Of course, the purple chi might make it more painful than awkward.
COMBATSYS: Rock successfully hits Dagger with Hard Edge.
Glancing Blow
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Dan 0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0 Angel
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Rock 0/-------/-----==|===----\-------\0 Dagger
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Bang 1/-------/=======|
Dagger, in her excitement, fumbles her notebook but not her weapon, ignoring Dan's uncomprehending response to her-- unusual demand. She's still breathing heavily as, behind her, Rock completely takes out her partner with in a ridiculous aerial motorcycle assault. But as she opens her mouth to quite possibly elaborate on her motivations, she is /shocked and appalled/ to see Angel attack one of her two newest soon-to-be slash-fic stars, the magnificent Dan Hibiki, with a beat-up car-- only for said Angel to land accusatorily right in front of her.
"No girls allowed!" is the first thing Dagger shouts, brandishing her sword, the floating blade of which spirals threateningly in front of her. But as the fog of her glasses fades, Dagger seems to recover her composure a bit, and begins to laugh somewhat haughtily. "Ahahaha! The ways of the Nine Knights are a mystery to one such as yourself! Know now you face Dagger, the Orbital Blade! But I have no time for /girls/. Bang, take care of this bit part!"
...
"Bang?"
Suddenly a bit uncertain, the yaoi-loving swordswoman looks over her shoulder.
"Eeeeyaaahhhh!"
And then Rock grabs her boob.
Well, to be fair, it's partly Dagger's own fault for trying to jump to the side and making a mess of it, her blade cutting wild arcs through the air. "Oh my GOD!" she shrieks, her glasses askew. "You are grabbing the WRONG PERSON!"
But how can she attack such a pretty face? And Bang is really not doing his job right now, so it looks like it's time for Dagger to take things into her own hands. "Look, him!" she shouts to Rock, pointing at Dan. "That guy! Grab /that guy/! Don't worry: I have a photographic memory! I don't need to sketch!" And with that enigmatic comment, she turns away from him entirely -- to launch herself at Angel instead.
"Hyaaaahh!"
Her blade carves characters in the air, projecting from the ring-like handle she grips so tightly to thrust forward at an unnatural range, possibly keeping the poorly-clad Mexican at bay as it slashes rapidly toward her, as though Dagger is able to control it by mind and magnetism alone.
Her face is still flushed, but it's no longer clear from what.
COMBATSYS: Angel successfully hits Dan with Huge Thrown Object.
-* WILD HIT! *-
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Dan 0/-------/--=====|=------\-------\0 Angel
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Rock 0/-------/-----==|===----\-------\0 Dagger
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Bang 1/-------/=======|
Dan suddenly has a car on him, his groin getting rather familiar with the muffler as the trunk of his body pokes out the side, his head looking up rather dazed and confused, "What the fuuuhh.. znuhh?" His toes twitch in percussive rhythms as he tries desperately to collect his senses. In his mind the little pink hamster is flipping his shit!
Eventually Dan manages to slide out from under the chassis of the deathmobile, not all that beat up by the ordeal. Still, his vision is a little blurry as he points to a lamppost, "Yo! Learn how to drive you birdbrain! And stop making that face at me!"
Get it together, Hibiki
COMBATSYS: Dan focuses on his next action.
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Dan 0/-------/--=====|=------\-------\0 Angel
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Rock 0/-------/-----==|===----\-------\0 Dagger
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Bang 1/-------/=======|
COMBATSYS: Angel just-defends Dagger's Slash Fiction!
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Dan 0/-------/--=====|=------\-------\0 Angel
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Rock 0/-------/-----==|===----\-------\0 Dagger
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Bang 1/-------/=======|
"That's right!!!" Angel isn't really listening to Rock - she's clearing the sound of exploding car from her ears, and is trying to figure out just what the hell's going on here, anyway! The Mexican stumbles to a knee, pointing towards the blonde-haired rapetrain. "-I- need that topiary!! I'm gonna get another write-up if I don't have a good reason for skipping work..!!" Galvanized by her own words, Angel finds her feet and...
and...
-Leers-. Rock Howard's hand, Dagger's chest...! "Heh heh," she sneers - it is a lascivious thing, hardly derogatory - "Kiddo's goin' for the meat right away! I bet it's not even, like, your first date or something. Has he even tried to get you drunk ye-!!!" Angel is, of course, talking while moving - and that movement halts rather abruptly when the NESTS bombshell catches Dagger's sword flying towards her!! Immediate reaction is to scramble right the hell backwards, which works until two steps into it - Angel's falling ass-over-head into another topiary, and winds up flat on her back!!
This position allows her to rather succinctly catch the dancing blade between her extravagantly toned thighs; it is here that she realizes she might be playing for 'realz'.
It's also here that Angel summarily flutters out of sight. Sounds come after the fact; First, Angel's -behind- Dagger, driving a fist into her kidney, another into her side! Then the sounds of the fighter bouncing off of something metallic, rolling, and a fierce, teasing: "S'wrong, you aren't comfortable with girls?? You gotta keep your --OPTIONS-- open!"
Options is presumably when she started punching.
Sometime admist all this, the camera cuts back to Bang's crumpled, beaten form...
... except he's not there anymore.
"THERE'S NOWHWERE TO RUN!" Bang's voice suddenly pierces the din (or light clamor) of combat (or sexual assault). This time, he is perched atop a... trash can... balanced on one leg, the other curled up underneath him. His arms are crossed over his chest, his hands balled into fist; between each finger is a startlingly ornate drill bit.
"RAPISTS, PERVERTS, AND JERKS!" Bang screams, glaring daggers (but not DaggerS) at 'Handsy' Rock Howard. "YOU CAN'T ESCAPE THE MIGHT OF... THE DRILL OF JUSTICE!!"
"ULTIMATE TECHNIQUE!" Bang flicks his wrists, and all of the drills clutched between his fingers begin to spin, filling the air with a piercing whirr. "STEEL RAIN!!"
Blue light flares behind Bang in the form of a huge glyph, built around an image of two crossed drill bits. Time stands still for an instant. It is pretty rad.
And then time starts again, and Bang starts throwing drills, his limbs little more than a blur, his body trailing hazy blue afterimages, the thrown drills themselves little more than streaks of blue light. There are a whole lot more than the eight or so he was holding.
COMBATSYS: Bang successfully hits Rock with Ultimate Technique - Steel Rain.
- CRAZY Hit! -
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Dan 0/-------/--=====|=------\-------\0 Angel
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Rock 0/-------/---====|===----\-------\0 Dagger
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Bang 0/-------/-------|
"What the--" DRILLED! Rock goes flying back, as he gets drilled by Bang's... drills... in a totally NOT homosexual manner, a thing which Jiro would never be able to accomplish like EVER, and he goes flying into the topiary. For a moment, all is quiet and still. A distant bell rings, indicating the hour.
And then the topiary quivers. The whole structure rustles like it had a thousand quivering Pillsbury doughboys inside it, or like a fine breeze were jostling it. And then, in the next moment---
--it blows the FUCK apart, an explosion of flowers and leaves that is jumpstarted by Rock Howard, who pulses with a purple aura of energy. "DO YOU THINK A DRILL CAN STOP ME!! WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM!!" Suddenly, he's wearing triangularly-shaped shades. Suddenly, he's slamming the ground where the topiary was, sending a blazing wall of purple chi flying at Bang. RIGHT FOR HIS UGLY FACE. "MY STORM IS THE STORM THAT PIERCES THE HEAVENS!" In the corner, a Gainax rep nods, checking something off on a clipboard.
COMBATSYS: Dagger reflects Impotent Symptom from Angel with Orbital Shield.
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Dan 0/-------/--=====|==-----\-------\0 Angel
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Rock 0/-------/-------|====---\-------\0 Dagger
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Bang 0/-------/-------|
"GROSS!"
This is the epic battle cry that emerges from Dagger's scandalized lips. Her blade temporarily trapped by Angel's invincible thighs, the weapon clatters limply to the ground, leaving the fujoshi seemingly vulnerable to Angel's coming strikes. Yet the Knight of the Nine seems to have more than one trick up her proverbial sleeve: she lifts the ring-like handle of her sword, despite it pretty much just being a handle right now, and a field of chi blazes into being within it. With this impromptu shield, she catches Angel's first punch and sends a jolt of stunning chi passing through the offensive woman's body.
"B... Boys only!" she cries, staggering back as her blade flutters back to her, the weapon reforming. Dagger glances around nervously: ignoring Bang's travails utterly, she tries to keep her eye on Dan, to make sure her new protagonist is mostly unharmed. "Anyway, I /told/ him, he shouldn't touch me. He should touch /him/!"
On the contrary, Dagger seems to have very /specific/ preferences.
After realizing he's not really talking to a person, but a lamppost, Dan turns towards the melee behind him and scans the combatants for the person most likely to have hit him with a GOD DAMNED CAR.
He scratches his chin, and thinks carefully. He was talking to Dagger, she couldn't have brought the brunt of a buick, bearing belligerantly bowards bis brain, man aliteration's a little wonky there. Bang was already taking the bush as well, and Rock? No. No siree. It must be that weird chick with the white hair.
He centers himself, spinning backwards slightly before aiming at the back of that Angel, with a furious aerial kick that could be described as simply amazing. The legend, the myth, the...
"DAN. DAN. KYAKU!"
Do it, Hibiki!
COMBATSYS: Angel blocks Dan's Dankuu Kyaku.
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Dan 0/-------/-======|====---\-------\0 Angel
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Rock 0/-------/-------|====---\-------\0 Dagger
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Bang 0/-------/-------|
@emit
Bzerk.
"--Bzerk!!" Angel, stymied before she can even -touch- Dagger's -extremely vulnerable- back! The NESTS agent staggers backwards, involuntarily shivering, trembling as that ephemeral force currents through her and into the surrounding ether. It's kind of like watching a little kid get tazed - too much current leaves him dancing around like a malfunctioning Walks-On-Her-Own Remote Control Barbie doll.
Of course, it speaks spades to Angel's impulsivity and improvisational skills that she's hardly missing a beat between dancing like Michael J. and noticing, eyes -wide-, the pink-clad monster leaping in her general direction, legs swinging!!!
Angel says nothing - she bites her lip, and throws a pair of slender arms before her face and chest by way of meager defense! Dan's kick hits like a -brick-, but Angel's able to roll with it, like, literally deflect-and-turn so that Dan's gliding along her form after that initial, rough impact. By the time it's finished, Angel's rubbing at her arms, grimacing at Dan (her expression reads 'What the fuck??'), and, for a moment, staring into the distance.
Why did she come here again? Topiary. Right.
Crazy bitch!! Right! Angel turns on a -dime-, and simply -lunges- towards Dagger, thighs spread, unmentionables flung towards the Nine Ninjas leading lady's ankles!
"What is -with- you?? Boys o--" Even while she's attempting to snake both legs arounod one of Dagger's own, back to the pavement, Angel puzzles through the other fighter's words. With a skillful -twist-, the Latina undoes whatever balance Dagger's got going for her, and does a floor-planted mule-kick -DIRECTLY- into the girl's own unmentionables!
"U-ugh... why would you even do that??? What's the fun in boys touching each other -- where's the girl fit in???"
COMBATSYS: Rock successfully hits Bang with Raging Storm+.
! VENGEANCE !
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Dan 0/-------/-======|====---\-------\0 Angel
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Rock 0/-------/-------|====---\-------\0 Dagger
[ \\\\ <
Bang 1/-----==/=======|
Bang hops forwards off of his trashcan perch as Rock disappears within Kitty. stalking towards the topiary where his foe lies, surely defeated. Now all he has to do is-
Kitty explodes, revealing Rock, awash with purple energy. Bang's eyes widen in surprise... and then a grin spreads across his face. "Heh heh," he chortles, rolling his neck. "You... you must be my rival character!"
"You're hopeless," Bang assures Rock, reaching behind his back and drawing Kusanagi-no-Kiri. He points it at Rock, and gives the motorcycle-esque lever handle on the hilt a squeeze; the drill spins up with the roar of an engine. "THE RIVAL CHARACTER CAN NEVER HOPE TO DEFEAT THE /MAIN/ CHARACTER!!"
With a wordless battle cry, Bang charges for Rock, his drill sword spinning wildly, just as the wave of purple chi washes out towards him. When the two collide, there's no explosion, and not even really... an impact. The wave just washes over Bang, and in its wake, it leaves him scorched completely black save for his eyeballs. He keeps running for several steps until, finally, he staggers to a halt, and then collapses to his knees.
"Or maybe," he croaks, "You're... the main villain... ... thuuud..." With that onomatopoeic groan, Bang collapses onto his front, and, once again, lies still.
COMBATSYS: Bang takes no action.
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Dan 0/-------/-======|====---\-------\0 Angel
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Rock 0/-------/-------|====---\-------\0 Dagger
COMBATSYS: Bang can no longer fight.
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Dan 0/-------/-======|====---\-------\0 Angel
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Rock 0/-------/-------|====---\-------\0 Dagger
That's right. Rock stands where he was and shouts, "NOBODY IS GETTING THIS TOPIARY!" And then he charges for Dagger, the other main culprit, his legs pumping like a locomotive. And as he nears, he hops up and forward, twisting to his left, drawing his left fist up.
And he -strikes-, punching downwards, his fist wreathed in purple chifirewind. Of course, he's punching
right for Dagger's boobs
intending to cause a brief earthquake, complete with howling winds and flames
the Great Dagger Earthquake of 2010 in which many lives were lost.
COMBATSYS: Angel successfully hits Dagger with Red Sky of Japonesia.
Glancing Blow
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Dan 0/-------/-======|=====--\-------\0 Angel
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Rock 0/-------/---====|=====--\-------\0 Dagger
COMBATSYS: Rock successfully hits Dagger with Rage Run Dunk.
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Dan 0/-------/-======|=====--\-------\0 Angel
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Rock 0/-------/--=====|=======\==-----\1 Dagger
Oh god, this is just terrible.
"Baaaaaang!" screams Dagger, as, once again, she half-avoids someone's attack, this time an angry and libidinous Mexican. And then, "BAAAAAAAAAANG!", much more hysterically, as she realizes that, in fact, while she's been distracted, Bang got totally destroyed at the hands of one of her boy toys (if only). This is not the best day in the lives of the Nine Knights.
And then, "Eeyyaahhhh!"
I'm going to say that there is some minor armor in this bodysuit or something if only so that I don't have to pose Dagger's boobs totally exploding all over Rock. Either way, Dagger goes sprawling into what is /left/ of the topiary -- and speaking of which, when the half-conscious Dagger wipes the drool from her face and staggers to her feet, that's what she speaks of. "What do you mean, no one's getting this topiary!?" she cries, gesticulating wildly, her glasses again askew. "You tore half of it to bits in the middle of your attack! Of /course/ no one's getting it now! Sheesh! Mission ABORT!"
And with that, she turns to run.
Toward Bang, of course, because how could she leave her homie? But even as she does, her magical flying sword is zipping away from its handle, enraged by Rock's totally reckless actions -- there will be headlines, sir, headlines -- and cutting furiously, a slate-gray demon that aims to chew him up and spit him out, even while Dagger, a hopefully safe distance away, is kneeling over her soot-blackened ally.
"M... maybe we can make it out of here alive..."
And does Dan do anything useful about this? Hell no he's still confused as hell. He's all like 'Whuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh' and everythings going all 'boom boom blam badau boom' and he's like 'Whuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh,' so what does he do? Oh hey, Popsicle.
It's just a little linty, it's still good!
COMBATSYS: Dan gains composure.
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Dan 0/-------/--=====|=====--\-------\0 Angel
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Rock 0/-------/--=====|==-----\-------\0 Dagger
COMBATSYS: Angel gathers her will.
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Dan 0/-------/--=====|=======\=------\1 Angel
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Rock 0/-------/--=====|==-----\-------\0 Dagger
"Wuh- buh..." Shit's going haywire, that's for sure. Angel doesn't even -know- what Dagger's doing, but that's not really her concern right now, is it?? Dan's over there, dancing around and being confused (which is expected, now that she thinks about it), and Rock is -- Well.
Despite what he thinks, Rock is basically acting like a Main Villain.
Angel's about to stand up and DO something about this frugal, weird-fetish bitch running rampant over -her- sexual reality when she notes the burnt wreckage of a topiary (primarily because Dagger has been thrown all up into it).
Violently, the camera angle skews! There is a pan in towards Angel's face, towards her typically large, seductive eyes, and everybody can see precisely how -fast- her pupils are constricting now that she has noticed her ticket to safety -- gone!
What... what is she going to do??
"Awah, Igniz is gonna KILL Angel for this...!!!" There is a palpable feel of power -concentrating- in the air around Angel.
She unzips her jacket.
COMBATSYS: Rock dodges Dagger's Sword X You.
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Dan 0/-------/--=====|=======\=------\1 Angel
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Rock 0/-------/--=====|==-----\-------\0 Dagger
What no. Rock rips a mailbox out of the street and throws it at the oncoming sword, using it as cover to duck away from it. Away from the thing and towards... Angel! Who, by the way, is totally the Main Villain, not Rock. Rock is the HERO, goddammit. SNK says so. But wait, the zipper--oh hell no. Angel's tits are like the Medusa, they turn men to stone.
He turns right back for Dagger, whose tits, while magnificent, aren't imbued with SCIENCE power and so he can handle them. Or her, anyways, as he closes in on her, looking to get a grip on her by the bodysuit and just fling her up--and towards Angel. HUP!
COMBATSYS: Rock successfully hits Dagger with Shinkuu Nage.
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Dan 0/-------/--=====|=======\=------\1 Angel
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Rock 0/-------/=======|=======\=------\1 Dagger
"Bang! Are you o--"
Dagger was right.
This is pretty much the most abortive mission ever.
"Gyaaaahh--"
With X_X eyes behind her thick-lensed glasses, she goes flying toward Angel, limbs akimbo, and while she may be able to crawl away unnoticed during the aftermath, this is...
...basically all she wrote.
And they didn't even get to the yaoi.
Worst fan-fiction ever!
COMBATSYS: Dagger can no longer fight.
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Dan 0/-------/--=====|=======\=------\1 Angel
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Rock 0/-------/=======|
COMBATSYS: Angel blocks Dagger's Large Thrown Object.
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Dan 0/-------/--=====|=======\==-----\1 Angel
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Rock 0/-------/=======|
Angel can't be the main villain!! She spends too much time in makeup to be the main villain.
In any case, she's definitely -seeing red- considering Rock has absolutely wrecked whatever chance at Igniz Redemption Angel had hoped for. She is seeing -so much red- that she barely even notices Dagger flying her direction!! Last-second, the NESTS agent throws up her arms to -catch- the other -- and rolls a -1- on her reaction. While she catches Dagger, certainly:
1) One of Dagger's flailing limbs lands her hand squarely between Angel's left thongstrap and her hipbone.
2) The yaoi enthusiast gets a face-full of recently bared but meticulously tanned cleavage.
3) Angel attempts to remedy the situation (it is rapidly turning into a piledriver of sorts) by falling with the throw.
4) She and Dagger fall directly into a nearby but curiously astonow unseen fountain filled with crystal-clear and ice-cold water.
Mere seconds later, Angel is trudging out of the water, adjusting her clothing, and -rezipping- her jacket because the air can get fucking -cold- when you are wet.
"Augh... what's your -problem-! You show up on a motorcycle and just wreck shit, man!!" She's speaking while moving, and by -moving- we mean pretty much 'vanishing into thin air'. By the time she's reappeared, Rock has a pair of ice-cold thighs wrapped around his head, and, if he doesn't act fast, they're -twisting-. Violently.
COMBATSYS: Rock blocks Angel's Quick Throw.
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Dan 0/-------/--=====|=======\==-----\1 Angel
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Rock 0/-------/=======|
It's a good sight. Some enterprising Japanese man is going to put video up of Angel, rising out of the water like a Venus, up on NicoNico tonight. Probably overdubbed with H-game music or osmething. Angel moves fast, very fast, and by the time her words reach his ears and he's processed them she's got her thighs around his head. And she twists.
But it's cool. It's the new millenium. Things are different. So he goes with it. It keeps his neck from being wrenched too badly, as he whirls over and turns it into a flip and lands on his feet, crouched.
"They were stealing it. I stopped 'em. What about you?" He says this all very conversationally, as he saunters in, unconcerned, firing a one-two combination, left jab and twisting right hook aimed for Angel's temple.
COMBATSYS: Angel counters Medium Punch from Rock with Bye Bye Rogue.
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Dan 0/-------/--=====|=======\====---\1 Angel
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Rock 1/-------/=======|
Angel lands in a roll also, because Rock isn't the only one who gets to play shit like he's MC Rock, spinnin' and rippin' everywhere. By the time Rock's sauntering in (like Angel isn't even worth breaking a sweat over!!), Angel's sauntering right towards him like it was Singles Night at the bar.
And let's not mince facts, here - Angel would -definitely- approach Rock like that if it were Singles Night at the bar.
It's the punches that get her going, and despite everything about the woman's walk, demeanor, absolutely suggestive facial features and body-type -- fuck if she isn't robotic, mechanical in the way she deals with Golden Boy's swing. She ducks to the side - a minimal movement - to avoid that first punch before stepping -brutally- on Howard's sneaker-clad toes with her left heel. This motion flows gorgeously into a spinning elbow to his stomach, after which Angel's hopping back, standing up -like nothing had happened-.
"Well," she muses, concerned. "Angel's gonna be in some big trouble if she doesn't get her boss a 'sorry' card for skipping some business meetings! You're acting like a big, fat, -dick-!"
Pause.
"And not in the good way!"
Rock reels back, but smirks nastily at Angel. "_YOUR_ emergencies are not _MY_ problems! Okay look, I'm sorry Igniz is going to Brutal God Project you into little atoms, but that doesn't mean you can just steal topiaries from people who are stealing topiaries! It don't work that way! But hey, if I knock you the hell out, I'll put you on a random cab to somewhere. Maybe Igniz won't find you too fast. You could at least have a hot dog before you die!"
Oh yeah, actions, right. He's rocked back, but not floored, flexing his toes to make sure Angel didn't break 'em with her big feet. "Heh..." Rushing forward he ducks low suddenly, then pushes off the ground, flipping upwards and going into what could be a Duck King-style breakdancing move, only he's going up in the air like a helicopter, arms outstretched to batter Angel in the legs, torso, and maybe even the head.
"Maybe you should just call 1-800-FLOWERS!!"
COMBATSYS: Angel dodges Rock's Rising Tackle.
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Dan 0/-------/--=====|=======\=------\1 Angel
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Rock 0/-------/=======|
"What?!? It totally works that way! Half of the stuff you steal is from people who already stole it in the first place! It is how things w- shit!!" Angel's conversation is cut short by a Rising Tornado that she's -diving- away from, a backwards hop that turns into an ass-first pratfall once the Latina realizes exactly -what kind of fire- she's playing with.
She's on her feet in seconds, though, and by gum, that woman is -rolling up her sleeves-. "O-oh, fire?? Well, hah..." She's thoughtful, yes, but survival outpaces attraction this time. The full-bodied lookover (that hair! those abs! that -profile!-) fades to a more critical one, and, as so many have done before her, Angel tries to clip Rock's ankles with a well-placed sweeper kick, just as he's falling from that Rising Tackle.
"Maybe Igniz'll take it easy on Angel if she can brag about giving -you- a spanking!"
COMBATSYS: Rock blocks Angel's Light Kick.
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Dan 0/-------/--=====|=======\=------\1 Angel
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Rock 0/-------/=======|
Clip is what she does--Rock teeters for perhaps a second, and then he slides his right foot back, regaining his balance. "Igniz is still going to char you to a crisp, you know. You should start running now." Not from him. He's Rock Howard. All American Hero. Angel's just some dirty beaner, she doesn't matter.
He takes a few steps back then braces his feet. "Right, time to see if Terry taught me this right..." Then he starts grunting. "Hoooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh..." It sounds like some extended Marine grunt, but purple energy is rising up around his legs, into his body.
COMBATSYS: Rock gathers his will.
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Dan 0/-------/--=====|=======\=------\1 Angel
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Rock 1/----===/=======|
Angel really doesn't have much to say about what's happening, here. She's basically one hundred percent sure that she looks -way better- when she charges (that one time!!), and purple is kind of...
Well, Angel is pretty sure she and Rock don't go to the same clubs.
Perhaps in an act of final indignation, of actually -giving up the goat-, the NESTS agent like, flips or something over towards that burnt topiary, -rips it out of the ground-, and throws it directly at Howard! Maybe it will hit him in the -head- or something.
COMBATSYS: Rock just-defends Angel's Large Thrown Object!
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Dan 0/-------/--=====|=======\=------\1 Angel
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Rock 1/----===/=======|
Rock's head is not that big a target. Now, see, if Angel were facing off against Joe Higashi, that might be an easier target. Rock is pretty surprised at Angel's strength, though. Does she get that from healthy eating or from NESTS shooting her up with the Venom pumps in her breasts? He ducks low and thrusts his hands up, heaving the topiary's charred remains over his head to crash picturesquely right in the middle of the road.
It'll make a great new statue for the city, honest! It'll grow back! Rock's dad'll pay for it! Rock, however, just charges at Angel, intent on -beating her down-.
He's pretty serious about it, even--he's not trying to molest her at all. But she might prefer that to getting beaten on with hook punches, elbows, knees, and low kicks, before unleashing a blue-white chi blast right in Angel's face.
COMBATSYS: Angel fails to counter Deadly Rave Neo from Rock with Survivor's Banquet.
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Dan 0/-------/--=====|>>>>>>>\>>>>>>>\2 Angel
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Rock 0/-------/-------|
Basically, what happens next is that Angel gets her ass kicked. Handed to her! Abused! --Sodomized--.
And not in the good way.
She is on the recieving end of each and every one of Rock Howard's bull-rush combo'd punches, illuminated in the most sickening sort of purple light. That last wave of blue-white chi -does- leave a great impression on Angel in the sense that it sends her -flying-, and might in fact be the focus of nightmares over the course of the next few weeks.
At the end of it all, she lands on the ground some twenty feet away from Rock, battered, broken, and genuinely beaten. She has no snappy comebacks, or snappy come-/ons/, for that matter.
Well, it's not like Rock actually likes going all out against a woman. It's just... well... shit. Maybe he -does-. That's probably his 'evil blood' at work, and not like, 4chan or something. He snaps his fingers, and somehow, Wesley Snipes comes roaring up on his bike. "Thanks man. Damn IRS always on mah tail. Here's y' bike back." Rock gets on the bike, turning back, giving a cheesy grin and a thumbs up. "STAY GOOD, ANGEL!" he shouts, before roaring off into the distance because it's a work night and his player has to effin' sleep.
And Dan Hibiki finishes that popsicle. Good job, Dan. He looks at Angel for a second and taps the stick on his lip a couple times, before shrugging and walking back to his Dojo. He thinks it's riceballs tonight!
COMBATSYS: Dan has left the fight here.
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Rock 0/-------/-------|=======\====---\1 Angel
COMBATSYS: Rock has left the fight here.
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Angel 1/---====/=======|
COMBATSYS: Angel has ended the fight here.
Log created on 20:53:17 04/25/2010 by Dagger, and last modified on 02:02:35 04/26/2010.