Description: Once discharged, K' and Whip briefly separate to handle different matters. Whip wraps up their affairs in Southtown. K' finds himself needing to tell Shurui what will become of her: something which becomes doubly difficult when it becomes clear the girl has some problems of her own.
One would think going to an alleyway as something of a last resort, a desperate stage where your back is to the world and nothing can save you. For Shurui? Quite the opposite. She had to learn these streets of Chinatown before her powers had emerged, making it still so familiar as to transcend whatever limitations that were placed on her when she lost that mental battle in the hospital.
With a goddamn acid-spraying clown. The acid was not real, but whatever psychic energy that was behind it left behind phantom pains, prompting aches and wincing from spots that are free of any wounds or real internal damage. Her third eye is no longer there as an easy guide; she has to now depend on the senses she has, including her foggy sight. There's also the matter of sleep. Ever since she woke up, she's been unable to find any rest at all, slowly driving her sanity to an eventual breaking point.
At least the alleys of Chinatown haven't changed too much. The runaways, thieves, and low-lifes are different, but the smells, textures, and overall aura of the place is still the same. No one gives her much trouble either- the haggard animalistic look to her eyes is enough to scare them off as she digs through some trash. Finding a tossed meal, she slips out and tiredly slips against the metal of the trashbin, bringing the food up to her nose. ".... Nh. Spoiled..." She casts it aside and shakily stands up, planting a foot against a wall in order to stretch the sore muscles in her legs. "... I wish that stupid clown'd let go of me already..." Stumbling away from the wall, she digs out her phone and stares at it, a comforted look on her face. Then, a wince.
It's only been a few days. They're no doubt still be at the hospital. Why the hell didn't she call them when she didn't feel so tired? It's too late now; if she got ahold of Whip, the soldier'd hear something wrong with her voice. "I dunno what to do now... this aura's not going away... I wanted to come back and show them that I was okay..." She grits her teeth with an audible sniff, rubbing her eyes with her other sleeve. "But I'm not okay. What do I do? I can't..." Silence. Finally, she slings the food against the wall in a sudden flare of anger. "I'll beat this! I got something to go back to!"
Shurui isn't the only one who's gone back to her roots. As she's retreated to the alleys where she first learned to survive, K' has retreated from the city that had just begun to integrate him. Exile was not something unexpected... it was just a wake-up call, a reminder that for people like him and Whip, a normal life and a normal family were little more than illusions. They were ghosts compared to society, and ghosts they would remain.
So, once K' was released from the hospital this morning, the young man effectively disappeared. His sister had similarly vanished off the radar. While Whip delegated to herself the task of wiping out the last remnants of their life here and preparing for their departure, K' took it upon himself to do harder things. He went to find Shurui.
He's been watching her for the past minute or two from a fire escape. And he already knows something is wrong, because she hasn't noticed him yet: usually, her second sight would have alerted her nigh-instantly. That odd, brotherly-- maybe even paternalistic-- pity and protectiveness that she'd always stirred in him makes a resurgence as he watches her last loss of temper. It's just merciful enough he didn't arrive in time to see her rifling in the trash to get what it was she threw.
Out of nowhere, he drops in on her from his perch... though he's noticeably moving a lot less gracefully and fluidly than he would. He's still healing. "Forget how to take care of yourself without us around...?" he chides her in greeting, though there's little bite to his tone: especially when he notices, up close, that she looks pretty much like crap. A little sigh breathes out of him. "The hell did you get into?"
Indeed. While Shurui seems to be coping, something seems to be hampering her every movement, like a physical weight dragging her down. She keeps moving, out of determination, but it's left her mark on her in the form of a wincing face, bloodshot eyes, and an inability to perform at the level she prides herself at.
Her tongue, though, hasn't suffered. The chiding tone and words inspire the girl to wheel around in K''s direction at the first note of his voice. "Oh, fuck y-" Then, realization sinks in. "..... You're okay?" She moves closer, forgetting herself. ".... It *is* you." The sound of his voice, the smell, the shape he casts in her vision- it's a physical resemblance at the very least. "So Whip found someone? Or did you heal by yourself?"
Shame colors her face then, looking down. "... I wanted to be there for you guys. I'm sorry. But...." She looks up. "You're okay now. If you didn't pull through, I'd have trouble figuring out where to begin picking the pieces up."
She rubs against her eyes again with her sleeve. "... It's some psychic thing. Attacked me while I was asleep. It was all over the city, but I didn't realize what it was until it came after me. Almost beat it, but it got me right before I was able to wake up. That's why I left you two in the hospital. It... changed my aura. Or something. .... Don't feel like myself. I feel... wrong. It was telling me that I was its now, so... that's probably a part of it." She closes her eyes shut. "... I'm sorry. I didn't wanna risk you two. You were in a coma and Whip needed to focus on getting you better. .... The fact that I was missing was better than me having a problem you couldn't solve." She collapses with a relieved sigh against the wall, slumping forward. "I thought I could beat it, even after it got my aura. But now, I can't sleep. The streets are fine even without my eyesight, but if I can't stay alert... I have to find someplace to go. Someplace without psychics. If it's gonna attack anyone, it's going to attack them, and I can't risk that... If it's got me, I'll make it's life hell while I still can think straight..."
"'Found someone?'" K' pauses visibly, frowning. Whip's cryptic comment of earlier-- that 'you're awake, aren't you?' thing that he'd been unable to fathom-- starts, suddenly, to click. "...What the hell did she do -now-?" K' insists, leaning forwards slightly in an intent sort of way. Is this the reason she had those injuries? Why she was so stitched up? If she went and got herself so hurt trying to save him, how could she fail to understand him letting himself be hurt protecting her?
K' eventually shakes aside the disquieted feelings. No, he should be happy enough she isn't abandoning him. He should be trying to keep her happy so she won't decide to ditch him anyway. Much as the fact might hurt Whip, K' simply can't find it in him to trust her not to leave; she's so prone to distancing herself that it's always, in his eyes, a legitimate fear.
But he can deal with his sister later. In the here and now, what was already an unpleasant task is becoming even less pleasant when he realizes that not only is he leaving Shurui behind, he's leaving her when she's in distress. He's silent for a good stretch of time in the wake of her long explanation, staring narrowly at her. It might be an ominous-looking expression, but in reality he's just struggling towards a decision. Trying to convince himself that distancing himself from her is still the safest course. That he hasn't got an option but to keep himself from bringing even more down on Shurui's head.
"You really have just the god damned timing," he finally comments. It's funny really, this happening just when he can't take care of her anymore. "I'm fine now. But I can't stay here anymore. I have to leave this city. And no one can know you knew me." He's quiet a while, in the wake of those likely-frightening comments, before he remembers to soften the words with, "...But I know somebody you can stay with."
"Hell if I know," Shurui says with a shrug, "She was vague until the moment she left- I just knew it was for your sake. .... What happened after that, I dunno. I was attacked that night, I think. When you were in surgery." She sighs. "... And don't think you could have done anything. It's psychic shit. Occured while I was sleeping Even I didn't know what the hell was going on..."
Shurui is silent after that, allowing the alleyway to get obscured in quiet thoughts. Thinking. She closes her eyes, seemingly oblivious to K''s stare. Or else, she's gotten to the point to realize when to fear him, if ever. Instead, she gets up, pressing a hand against the wall for support, giving a hollow laugh when K' finally speaks. "Like I ask for it."
The next words the girl seems to take with a surprising amount of grace, nodding slowly. "Because of who attacked you, right?" A soft sigh escapes her lips. "..... Was afraid it would come to that. But... I'd rather see you alive than dead." She shifts towards K', stopping a short distance away. "The damage is done when it comes to whether they'll be able to find out about me. But I don't think they'll bother once you're gone. .... Got more things to worry about, I'm guessing."
".... I care about you enough to know when to let you go. It might not be forever, but either way, it'll be so you can be free." She smiles, slightly, even as her head hangs. "You and Whip... really made me happy. You both care about me- and to me, that's all that mattered, not whether you could keep your promises or responsibilities. That keeps me going, in times like this."
Then, it hits her. She looks up. "..... Really? Y... you're sure they'd take me on, like this? I dunno how bad this might get, and...." She frowns. "... No, maybe it would be a good thing. This isn't working, what I'm doing. If I have someplace where someone's watching my back... I could get to the bottom of things."
K' receives the information in silence, but it's the sort of quiet that implies a great deal of thought. K' had asked his sister about choice. About whether her insistence 'there's always a choice' still held true when his life was in danger. He hadn't understood her reply at the time... but now, hearing from Shurui that Whip had gone somewhere for his sake, and probably sustained those injuries for him... it proved that Whip had gone and done something, most likely something unpleasant, in order to protect him. To save him.
And she still failed to have any understanding of him having done the same for her and Shurui? Failed to understand that his mistake was made when he didn't know any better? That he had tried to fix it, many times at cost to his own health; to endure its consequences, in order to protect both girls? Was she that uncompromising? It reminded him, though he didn't want it to, of NESTS... of the way fighting against their judgments felt so futile.
Despite his resolution not to incite Whip further-- just in case she did decide to leave after all-- K' can't help but feel the resurgence of a sting of anger at that. His hands tighten. "I'll find out where she went, and what she did," he remarks, with a deceptive casualness, and he leaves it at that.
His coldness suffers a crack, however, when Shurui takes his admittedly-harsh words with surprising aplomb. He visibly hesitates as she deduces and accepts what's coming before he can even fully elucidate, looking visibly uncertain and unfamiliar with this kind of grace. "Geese Howard," he finally tells her, stating the criminal's name quietly. "He leads the Syndicate. If he sees or hears of me here again, my life is forfeit. And yours, and Whip's, and pretty much anybody else I know. So I wouldn't talk about having known me." Even if it's a low risk, even if Geese has more important things to think about than a mere upstart... K' doesn't want to take risks. You can't take risks anymore when you have things to lose.
Predictably, however, he goes totally silent when Shurui goes on to talk about how she cares for him. About how he and his sister made her happy. Visibly uncertain what to do or say about that, he just stands there a few minutes in uneasy-- but not mean-- silence. "Wouldn't be leaving you like this now if I was really that great," he eventually says roughly, but not unkindly: pulling back slightly as if uncertain. "But I'm not gonna risk giving you more shit to think about. Not gonna ruin your chances in this city." In K'-speak... that's pretty much an affirmation he does care about her. Something he'll probably never be emotionally equipped to say aloud.
"...And I'm not gonna let you sit around in an alley all night." Even in the midst of Shurui's nervous questions, he's already moving. A slight limp still haunts his steps, but otherwise he seems to move fluently enough as he glances out into the streets. "Clean up a little. Might as well see if she can meet you now. Can't remember if you ever met her, probably did... but Hotaru offered a room to you in her estate if you want a place to stay. And you can trust her."
She hears him talk about Whip, loosely sparking her curiosity, then Geese, confirming what she'd already feared. While she had no idea that a businessman like him ran the Syndicate, the cloud of fatigue makes her mind fail to make this connection that much more shocking. Howard.... where has she heard that name before? What happened between K' and Whip? "... She's not distancing herself from everything again, is she...? She gets all weird and soldier-like when shit really hits the fan- like she thinks that's the way things are supposed to be. I know she's a soldier, but..." She shrugs tiredly. "... I guess I dunno what I'm talking about."
It's a sad grace, one not reflected in her body, which struggles to stay upright at times. It could be because she's tired; her mind can't fathom being angry for long. Or, the grace could come from the fact that K', in spite of all that happened, is still alive. Walking, even. Speaking. Seen better days, but he's a moving miracle as is. He could have easily been so much worse, with the damage he suffered.
"Never said you were perfect." All Shurui can feel is gratitude that he's there. And sadness that it's just an epilouge to this part of the story. And fear, that he'll walk away, returning to the shell that was his old self. "It's not shit...." Before she knows what she's doing, she's pressed up to him, wrapping him in a shakey, but heartfelt hug. Warm, awkward, but child-like in how freely it's given, as if she doesn't care what's given back. It's almost a continuation of the hug she gave to him a few days ago, in an alleyway just like this, trying to pass on her warmth as he slowly blinked in and out of unconsciousness. Dirt, caked mud. Honesty. Life.
"It's my choice. Just be safe and happy."
And then, just as quickly, Shurui jerks away, looking a little embarrassed. "... Sorry- 'not myself right now. ... But no. Being involved with you's made me stronger. I know I'm not alone now. There's people out there who feel like me. Who care about me. So .... the world doesn't seem like some alien place. I'm a part of it. You are too." She slowly looks up at K''s face. "I'll work that much harder because of it. Shurui rubs at her eyes, a stray sniff muffled by the sleeve of her coat. "But... I'll still miss you. It's not like I can replace you- you really do feel like family."
K' just glances at Shurui when she asks what it is Whip is doing -now-. He doesn't look like he wants to talk about it, but for a moment his expression briefly twisted with a pained, angry look. He starts to look as though he'll say -something-... but then the moment passes. It's better left not talked about. It's between him and her, and there's no use Shurui getting caught up in it any more.
Instead, he just turns away, distracting himself with more practical matters. Or at least, he tries; he's stopped short when he feels the girl latch up around his chest. Stiffening perceptibly, he just stares down at the top of her head for a few moments as if unsure what to do. Eventually, he decides the best course of action is to do nothing. He relaxes incrementally, cautiously-- and he doesn't push her away.
He lets her stick around up until she makes her own choice to pull away. Her apology goes unanswered save for the gleam of familiar yellow eyes watching her, the expression calm and searching-- but not necessarily annoyed. It isn't as if she hasn't done things for him, also-- it isn't as if she hasn't made him feel like he's not alone, either. Lacking the vocabulary or the candidness to say as much, he just lets her talk instead.
"I'm not dead yet," is all he finally says, very quietly. The comment seems to imply this isn't -final-. Who knows what might happen down the line? "No sense you talking like it's a eulogy." He's quiet a long time, considering her, before he abruptly finishes, "This isn't easy." It's about as close as he might ever come to admitting any attachment to her.
With that, he tilts his head in thought. "I'm not gonna take you there in person. I don't want anyone seeing you with me. This is her address. Meet me there instead."
It doesn't matter whether or not K' hugs back; Shurui's action is driven by a selfishness, disregarding the teen's dislike of being touched. In this sleep-deprived state, the odd need to hold instead of push away soothes her in the end, even if it doesn't cure the immediate cause of her psychic trouble.
After a full moment or two, she backs away. "Yeah. You're not." The girl sniffs, a grateful smile masked behind her sleeve as it rubs against her nose. "You're probably healing well, too, to be moving around like this. Even if I can't see it. But yeah." It won't be forever. Things change. While Southtown currently is as close to a home as she has, there's no telling where Shurui's future might lead her after she graduates. Howard's empire may be toppled, or they'll find some reason why it's safe to come back. It's hard telling.
As stiff and distant as he might seem, compared to a normal person, it appears it's just as hard for him to decide this as it is her to readily accept, as graciously as she's managed to so far. "Never though I'd hear you say that," Shurui comments. "It's hard for me too. .... Going into this, I thought I'd be leaving as soon as you guys found out what it was like having me around, but... you even seemed to insist."
When her attention is drawn to Hotaru's address, Shurui takes a lens out of her pocket and, shakily, looks over the information. ".... Not familiar with that area, but... I'll find it. So..." Brown eyes attempt to focus earnestly on K''s frame. "... Meet me there?"
Log created on 21:28:03 01/13/2009 by K', and last modified on 23:13:40 01/18/2009.