Description: Naeo League. Zangief and Naerose face off on top of a moving vehicle and who knows what could happen besides much cruchage and raining fire and probably a pretty serious car accident. These things are serious, people should wear their seatbelts. (Winner:Zangief)
Zangief. The Red Cyclone. A man renowned for his terrifying strength and body hair. His is an unmistakable form, hulking and massive. There are few people who would not recognize it if they saw it...
Which might explain why so many cars are trailing a massive 18-wheeler as it thunders down the highways of Japan. You don't get many big rigs in Japan, and even fewer of them have the Red Cyclone standing astride the back, arms raised up to the air and laughing wildly at the sheer insanity of the situation.
He'd had his doubts about the Neo League, it was true. The generally lesser budget was something that he was all too aware of... never mind the fact that he was going to have to work his way up. But. It would be a good way to bring about awareness of the glory of Mother Russia... and if you can't get the budget, then you better get the spectacle instead. Fighting a witch, and a witch ranked third in the league at that, atop a moving truck, as his debut match?!
Oh yes. Zangief could get behind that.
"YEEEEEEEEEEEAH!" He roars, the wind whipping wildly around his form. Tussling his hair, even though there isn't any chance that he's moving if he doesn't want to. "HONK IF YOU LOVE THE RED CYCLONE! COME OOOOOOOOOOOOOOON! LETS GET THIS MATCH STARTED!"
There is, of course, a chorus of honking in response. Go Zangief Go!
What Zangief doesn't know, is that in addition to the Neo League marked truck, which has been recently defaced to read 'Naeo League' by a big red 'a' added with red spray paint, is another sign added to read : Honk of you like pie. There is of course.. The chorus of honking. Meanwhile.
On a little known part of the truck, atop the rig, also known as a third world truck region, where love and support is scarly found and cellar phones and high speed internet do not work as well stands another red clad - actually more red than the big man. I mean, Naerose wears clothes after all and they're red, as opposed to someone who doesn't really wear clothes. Anyway, the media phenomon er phenomonon? Well whatever, Zangief naturally draws a crowd and reporters and reporters vans with the things on top that broadcast stuff and mini cell phone towers and internet hubs and even vendors with food. . .
None of these people realized the truck the fight was going to occur on wasn't going to stop. So they form quite a line of vehicles, along with the usual Japanese traffic. It was a perfect storm of awesome.
The red witch standing opposite Zangief just starse through her shades with a big grin. She's preetty sure if enough people honk for pie there might actually BE some somewhere. Maybe she could have a slice.
Zangief rounds on Naerose, pointing up at her. As far as he was concerned, he definitely had the support of the crowd. And that got him pumped! Even if he is fighting a witch. It occurs to him that he probably should have tried to learn what sort of thing Naerose actually did in fights, other than wear red and by all... witchy...
Naaaaaaah.
"You don't have a chance!" Zangief thunders, stomping across the back of the truck to shake that finger in an accusing manner.
"You think you got what it takes to fight the Red Cyclone?! I'm going to break you in half! I hope you brought your broomstick, because you are gonna need to be flown out of here! There's no escape now, and I'm going to put you down as a warning to all the other leaguers... The Red Cyclone is coming, and he's going to the TOP!"
... of course, one might wonder if he's actually going to get on with that whole... fighting thing. But don't rush him. He's enjoying himself!
Anyone can see she brought her broom. It's in her hand afterall and she never leaves home without it, furhtermore it's how she got off her scooter (now in a ditch) onto the top of the big rig. But let us not interfere with perfectly good natured trash talk. Instead let us throw fuel on the fire.
"Hey, arn't you the student of Hurricane Hime? I mean, a cyclone is big and all, but that's nothing compared to a hurricane. When was the last time that a cyclone destroyed an entire city and leveled most of a state? Hurricanes do that all the time. Clearly you must be the student of Hurricane Hime." And if that wasn't enough, Naeroes reaches into her bag and rummages around.
A picture is produced, it is of Hurricane Hime, who is a rather small looking japaneseish girl, actually I think she's not japanese at all. For more info you could try fingering her profile. Meanwhile.
"Yep, I expect you to fight with paper airplanes like she does, because you are after all her student right right" Naerose says and smiles, like BEAMS at Zangief with the biggest mischief that you've ever seen. Oh yes, it was trash talk.
"Oh and by the way.. Winner buys lunch."
Yes the witch is just a picture of confidence.
Zangief growls for a moment, and then straightens up, "When was the last time a Cyclone destroyed a city?" He declares. "WHEN IT GOT IN MY WAY!" He bellows, slamming one meaty fist into his palm. Really Zangief? Did you really destroy a city? Well. No. But who is going to be stupid enough to really argue with him at the moment?
"I'm a student of MOTHER RUSSIA! Stronger than any little girl! Stronger than any state! I'll CRUSH her! When I'm done with YOU of course! Get down here and I'll show you what it's like to be caught by the RED CYCLONE!"
Zangief starts stomping forward again, the large man apparently pretty enraged. "Come down here so that I can break you already!" He shouts, his blood was up... there were very few people who had the guts to trash talk him -back-. It was sort of refreshing.
Wait? Refreshing. No, no. Enraging. That was the word I was looking for there.
COMBATSYS: Naerose has started a fight here.
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Naerose 0/-------/-------|
COMBATSYS: Zangief has joined the fight here.
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Naerose 0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0 Zangief
COMBATSYS: Zangief gathers his will.
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Naerose 0/-------/-------|====---\-------\0 Zangief
"You've .. destroyed.. a.. city?" Asks Naerose, looking positively shocked and a little appalled, although it's hard to look that way when you're grinning a little, as Naerose usually is. But even so, she is pretty sure that destroying cities is wrong and bad. Bad.
"You know you shouldn't do that, destroying cities. Thing." The witch tries to scold Zangief like he's a puppy. A big puppy. In red underwear. Without and fur. A really ugly puppy. Actually. . The witch squints at Zangief a moment.
"Hey, that er.. on your chest, is that a dead dog? Man Jiro is gonna be so mad when he sees that." The witch nods, figuring he must of hit one while having one of his fights on top of a truck or something.
"I guess .. I'll just go first then." She doesn't realize Zangief is alreaedy up to something.
"Here goes then, Sagitta Minor!" cries the witch and flings a flurry of darts at Zangief while leaping back farther from him. She then realizes that the truck has a limited amount of space and promptly leaps right off of it.
"SNAAAAAAAP!" cries the witch.. faaaaling but just managing to grab the side and start to pull herself up.
"Man, this is crazy." she complains.
COMBATSYS: Zangief endures Naerose's Sagitta Minor.
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Naerose 0/-------/------=|=====--\-------\0 Zangief
Zangief is... pretty angry, you can tell, because he's now running forwards as Naerose throws darts at him. The darts hit home. They sting. But they ... really don't have the force to slow the Red Cyclone all that much. More of a distraction, really. He -hates- it when people throw things at him. Why would you do that? Why would you throw little darts at Zangief. It's not a dead dog on his chest, and its definitely not a dartboard. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!
But. Never let it be said that Zangief is a horrible person. After all, just look. He's trying to help Naerose get back up onto the truck!
... Well, that's one way to look at it. Another would be that the Red Cyclone tries to grab the woman by her arm, and swing her up to face level. "I'll CRUSH YOU!" He roars, if he manages to grab her or not. But if he -does- have her in his grip at this point, he'll grip Naerose tightly around the stomach with both meaty hands... and do his level best to make good on his threat by squeezing as tight as he can.
COMBATSYS: Zangief successfully hits Naerose with Stomach Claw.
- Power hit! -
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Naerose 0/-------/-======|=======\-------\0 Zangief
That wasn't helping her, infact, yes, Naerose is pretty sure after careful consideration that this was hurting her. But then he did promise to crush her and so far it seems to be working pretty well. Furthermore though someone should mention how bizarre it is to squeeze someone's tummy.
"Hey, what the, are you trying to tickle me?" Except it hurts. . A lot.
"Wai! WAOH! LEGOO!" exclaims the witch looking none to happy about being squeezed like this by Zangief, it was, totally uncool.
"That's it, you're trying to steal my lunch! I knew it, you're a bully, you're a bird bully cause you want the lunch that I already digested! But I have a surprise for you buddy, I havn't had the cash to eat yet today, so you're not getting anything out of me!"
That's showing him. And to further show him, Naerose decides to kick Zangief.
"Kick!" she exclaims, as if the extension of the leg and boot, toward Zangief's rock hard abs wasn't hint enough that her intention was to deliver a kick to the wrestler. Still, she wanted to make sure and be extra obvious for anyone wondering just what was going on. That and running away, because Naerose was good at running away. At least she was good at cowardice. Relatively so.
COMBATSYS: Naerose successfully hits Zangief with Light Kick.
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Naerose 0/-------/-======|=======\-------\1 Zangief
Zangief isn't... really listening to Naerose all that much right now. His chest hurt because it had -darts- in it. (Seriously! Darts! What kind of deluded mind would do that? This was a witch, too. So they were probably magical poison darts. If his hair fell out he was going to be having -serious words- with Naerose. Words of the punching variety.)
When she kicks him, however, he's just a little bit too slow to block the blow. It connects with his mid section full on, though he tenses before it connects and although he does feel it... it's definitely nothing compared to those nasty sharp darts.
Having been thoroughly kicked, the large Russian bares his teeth at Naerose. Some of the words had registered, and he decides to try and hammer his point home... "I don't want your lunch!" He protests, "After I'm done breaking you into little pieces..." This said with all the drama and intensity of a really important statement.
"I'M GOING TO MY THE BEST RESTAURANT IN TOWN. THE GENHANTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN!"
Product placement attack, go!
That word shouted, nay, cried to the sky as he swings on the spot, massive fists spinning in a whirling cyclone (hoho) of fisty smashing!
COMBATSYS: Naerose blocks Zangief's Double Lariat.
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Naerose 0/-------/=======|=======\-------\1 Zangief
This is an attack Naerose determines is best left not hitting her, of the blocking variety, which is kind of hard, I mean spinning with your arms out is a sure way to hit someone especially on a truck. Zangief might as well of just said I'm going to do this, and if you get hit it's your own fault. Well Naerose wasn't going to chance that, no ma'am. Instead she figures, heck, why not.
"Okay, you know what worked for me best?" So far? Nothing.
"Staying the heck away from you!" cries the witch and she runs to the dead other side of the truck and just to make sure that she is serious about not getting hit, she summons a final fantasy 8 style Edea javelin of ice, the exact same way, total rip off and points at Zangief which sends the projectile toward him.
"You know what? I'm here to win. Sagitta Major!"
COMBATSYS: Zangief fails to slow Sagitta Major from Naerose with Large Thrown Object.
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Naerose 1/-------/=======|=======\===----\1 Zangief
Zangief's response is pretty simple. He really, really hates projectiles. But if projectiles were going to be the order of the day, he was going to give as good as he got! With a mighty roar, he grabs one of the exhausty... pipe-things that comes up from the side of the big rig, and wrenches it off with a screeching of metal and a sheering noise. He hurls the large lump of iron forwards...
And because he's just thrown a bit of flimsy metal piping at a large spear of ice, it bounces off ineffectually, and he winds up getting skewered pretty much full on.
"Grrrr.... GET BACK HERE YOU COWARD!" He bellows, "YOUR WITCHY TRICKS WON'T SAVE YOU FROM ME!"
"Umm okay," the witch takes orders from Zangief and turns around and approaches him, just like she was told to. Now how do you hurt someone like him. He's built like a rock, infact was probably born from a rock. Though Mount. Rushmore is American. She's pretty sure Zangief isn't American. Maybe he came from Siberia. That wouldn't explain the lack of clothes, except Russia is cold right? Nevermind, there is just no explanation for that at all.
"So, .. er.. now that I'm here, what should I?"
Zangief looms over Naerose, you know, just by sheer height alone.
"Aw dang." She whines, "I imidiately regret this decision!"
Still, how do you hurt someone built like a rock? Well the witch panics anyway and uses the sweeping side of her broom to try and hit Zangief in the face. More panic then attack, in an attempt it seems to get away from the menace. At least her broom is up though, the first rule to defence is fence. Or something.
COMBATSYS: Zangief interrupts Random Strike from Naerose with Ultimate Atomic Buster.
*KNOCKED AWAY*
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Naerose 2/<<<<<<</<<<<<<<|=======\=======\1 Zangief
Zangief is a man of his word. When he says he's going to break someone in half... that's pretty much what the plan is.
Naerose comes forward, and smacks him in the face with her broom. This, is, as some would say, a Bad Career Choice. Because it leaves her pretty much open for him to snatch her out of the air. Which, being Russian, a Communist, and therefore devoid of compassion, is exactly what he does.
SLAM! Naerose is brought down hard into the truck. She is whipped up a second time, and then POW! The truck gets another Naerose-sized dent. A third time, and he /leaps/ into the air, spinning around, its only the fact that they are at one end that saves them from falling off the other as he ploughs Naerose's head right into the roof of the truck with as much force as his awesome soviet muscles can muster.
After which, he straightens up. /Clearly/ not expecting Naerose to get up again after such a terrifying display of raw physical power.
"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH! That's what HAPPENS when you mess with the RED CYCLONE!"
"So.. . hungry.." breaths the witch while on the truck top and breathing.. gasping.. for.. something.. Anything. She struggles to get a can of Red Bull out of her hat, but will it be enough. WILL IT BE ENOUGH.
"No.. not y.. et." she pants, putting the can of Red Bull back, looking really sad about that.. and somehow.. she gets struggling to her feet, looks up at Zangief and is like.. so not happy about having every bone in her body broken. It is from pure retard strength that she stands up at all. This will probably backfire someday.
"Hey.. Hurricane hime wannabe? " The witch tries to tap Zangief on the shoulder, then offers her other hand, is that to shake or to trick him? Clearly she's a tricksy type.
"Umm. encriento"
Yaeh, she's totally stammering her words, somehow that was supposed to make sense, like you know, sound like the name of her signature blast. Unfortunately it sounds like gibberish. That however does not stop an explosion of white destruction from shotting fourth from her palm toward Zangief.
"Sorry.. in advance for that.." Meanwhile the metal from the roof of the truck, some of which Naerose was eating at the moment, doesn't taste that good.
COMBATSYS: Zangief interrupts End Creation from Naerose with Banishing Flat.
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Naerose 2/<<<<<<</<<<<<<<|====---\-------\0 Zangief
Zangief is... confused! And a little enraged. This is not an unusual mental state. People don't get up again after that! She must be some kind of WITCH!
"NOT. HIME. /RUSSIA!/" Zangief roars, his fist is, too, glowing and roaring. Telling him to punch Naerose in the face. Which he does. Coming around as swiftly as he can, he swings, and socks Naerose right in the jaw.
And then he's engulfed in a bright flash of white light and searing heat. When it passes, Zangief is left blinking, his beard and chest hair sizzling and smoking gently. The large scarred man just looks... surprised. He really hadn't seen it coming.
Clearly.. Zangief needs more Chi.. And if there is one thing Naerose has too much of.. it's fail. I mean.. well she has a lot of chi, but she tries to be variable in what she specializes in (eating) and somehow that all made sense. The witch, who can barely stand has one chance, just one. She needs to manage to connect to Zangief with her last ounce of energy with what most would agree is probably going to be at ... Lost train of thought. The truck passed a billboard and the witch is drawn to it briefly. FOCUS.
"Err.. pretend I said a bunch of cool sounding mystical stuff.. I just.. feel so tired.. So.. we'll ahve to fake it for now." The witch says and gives an apologetic smile before gesturing at Zangief.. with her broom, over and over while the ground around her glows. It looks witchy, but the important part is the sky rains fire like falling stars with each gesture. Now is a time to learn to dodge.
COMBATSYS: Naerose can no longer fight.
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Zangief 0/-------/---====|
COMBATSYS: Zangief Toughs Out Naerose's Star Fall EX!
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Zangief 0/-------/=======|
DODGE? IN RUSSIA ONE DOES NOT DODGE!
Zangief instead looks a little bit confused at Naerose's explanation. "... eh? You want me to fake it? ARE YOU IMPLYING THAT AS A WRESTLER I FAKE THINGS?! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!" With a roar, Zangief just decides to ignore the fact that fire is raining down all around him, and instead will just plough on through it. Yes, it burns, and yes, it hurts. But. Blind with incredible fury at the implication that he would be willing to /fake/ something for the betterment of TV entertainment rather than fight with everything he has for the glory of Mother Russia, the large man is too busy to care about the fact that he is, you know, on fire.
When he reaches Naerose, he'll express his displeasure with his big Russian boot. That is the plan, anyway. The fact that she is... you know... down and out by the time he reaches her, however, puts a stop to that plan, and he actually looks a little disappointed. And on fire.
He scratches his head, then, and looks around at the truck (which is, also, on fire.)
"..."
"..."
"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH! ANOTHER VICTORY FOR THE RED CYCLONE!"
Log created on 10:13:16 11/20/2008 by Naerose, and last modified on 13:54:45 11/20/2008.