Neo League 776 - #800: Mai vs Mignon

Description: WITCH VS NINJA. Of course, there is sleeping involved. AND HOW.



A beautiful place found by the Neo League owners. For in this desert, there is a massive expanse of trees, an oasis of it, with a forest that should truly not exist. But it does. It does.

And that is why the fighters, today, are being put in a fight on the very TREE TOPS.

A wooden platform that rests above the expanse below, branches and all spreading out as far as the eye can see. The branches about can be used as a foothold as well, but that is where it gets tricky.

The platform is so high up that it is easy to be swept away in the breeze as well, but that's just a part of the EXCITING Neo League we are to bring you!

Mignon has been placed up there as well. "YAAAAY! Mignon can see so far, and Mignon thinks this will be EXCELLENT training for what she will have to do and this is SO COOL and Mignon can ALMOST see her house from here it's REALLY far off though and across a long stretch of water.. maybe that ISN'T Mignon's house but IT SURE LOOKS LIKE IT!" She waves and bounces around.

She really likes it up here, as she is pink, a ball of PURE ENERGY, and loud.

PERFECT!

"Hi!" A voice comes, but not from the platform.

Mai is in fact standing on a nearby treetop. How did she climb that high? How is she balancing? How is the breeze not rendering her hopelessly immodest? All are mysteries of the ninja, which Mai herself would probably just make up answers to if asked. She leaps into the air, somersaulting into a graceful landing on the platform. So graceful, in fact, that it doesn't even wobble. "I'm Mai! I guess we're going to be fighting today! Hey, I like your boots!" How did Mai pull that off?

TEN YEARS AGO

Mai, aged 14, groans at the new chore set in front of her. She is wearing a Lauryn Hill t-shirt over her 'traditional' kunoichi thong-and-loincloth outfit, and her hair has sawtooth-crimped streaks in it. "Grandfather," she starts to whine, before he silences her by hitting her in the face with a kendo sword.

"Quiet, Mai," he says. "How many times do I have to say it--"

"Ninjas don't whine," Mai pouts, rubbing her cheek.

"I'm sorry, I didn't hear you?"

"NINJAS don't WHINE," Mai repeats, louder, huffily. She picks up the huge, heavy staff and sets it across her shoulders. Tied to each end is a massive brick of pure sodium.

"If that sodium touches that water," Hanzo warns.

"I know, Grandfather, I /know/, GOD. I won't /BLOW UP/ your precious sodium." Mai rolls her eyes, and is struck in the face with the kendo again.

"Your ancestors worked for centuries to pay for that sodium," Hanzo says sharply. "It has been passed from Shiranui to Shiranui for even longer. So don't screw this one up!"

Mai hops onto the first empty bucket floating in the long stretch of water in front of her, then to the second, then the third...

NOW

Mai takes out a fan (from... somewhere) and fans herself. "Pretty up here, isn't it?"

Looking over, Mignon looks across the platform of woodenness, and stares across it, putting her hands over one another, cupping them to gaze out at what she can see! And that is ... NOTHING! Mignon can see nothing, and she tilts her head in this inability to see a thing! "Ah... Mignon can't see you! Are you invisible!?" She first asks.

Oh Mignon, looking around as she does,

And then BAMPH. Something red and girl like is on the trees. "AH! DON'T WORRY MIGNON WILL SAVE y.....ou?" She extends a spaceboot out, and touches the tree tops. Touch. Touch touch. Mignon can't find good footing at all! "How ... Mignon doesn't know how you're standing on trees but Mignon bets it's some kind of magic and MIGNON is NEVER wrong about magic, mhmmm! Mignon bets you're levitating! It's amazing!" She notes, "And yeah Mignon thinks it's OH SO pretty! Weeeeee! Mignon feels she's like a bird, and hi! Mignon likes your fans, Mai! They're pretty and they look really well made! Mignon never saw fans like that in person! She thinks they're really really nice!"

But Mignon's training for being a witch is nothing like Mai's ninja training.

Unless you call randomly flailing training, and by randomly flailing you mean sleeping in on days that end in y.

"So ... Mignon heard we have to fight .. aren't you scared? Mignon can't imagine being higher up!"

SUDDENLY somehow, Mignon is scheduled next to fight on a plane.

"Nah," Mai says, clacking the fan shut with a 'bitch, please' overconfident smile. "I mean, they put nets and big airbag things down there to catch us, right?"

Mai turns to the nearest camera that she can see. "...right?" The cameraman shrugs, which causes Mai to frown in alarm. "Uh, right, so." She starts fanning herself again nervously. "So I guess we should uh, we should fight, uh, Mignon." Mai says it "Mig-nawn." Even though Mignon has said her name about thirty times now, Mai still clings to the pronunciation she assumed was correct based on reading it. ESL, what can you do.

"So, uh, yeah, give it your best shot!" Mai says, adopting a defensive stance. And slowly, slowly peeking over the edge. Downward. "Gggh," she groans.

COMBATSYS: Mai has started a fight here.

[\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  <
Mai              0/-------/-------|


Oh, Mignon PLEASE! It's not like there's anything that will ever stop them! From .. falling.. Oh.. gee.. it just got a loooot taller didn't it?

"Uhm... Mignon's not sure!" She adds. "Mignon .. never really asked!" It's one of those things you don't think about it until the very last second. And by then it's just too late. "Mignon uh .. certainly hopes so! Because if Mignon falls she does NOT want to go SQUISH!" She adds in. It's an important addition, truly.

But as she looks down, the view causing her to gasp. "Uhm... Uh... WOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! That's REALLY HIGH UP Mignon hopes she doesn't fall so Mignon will have to be EXTRA CAREFUL! And so MIGNON will not let her guard down at all! Nu-uh! This is a promise to herself and others! ... Yes! Mignon thinks .. maybe they would like it if we don't stand here like fuddy duddies! Eheee! HERE COMES MIGNON! WEEEEEEEEEEE!"

And barreling towards Mai, Mignon does.. something.

"HORSIE!" Kicking off the ground, she flips, aiming to land infront of Mai, flip over her, and then hook her forwards! "Oopsie-DAISY!" And then, the CHUCK!

COMBATSYS: Mignon has joined the fight here.

[\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  //////////////////////////////]
Mignon           0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0              Mai


COMBATSYS: Mai dodges Mignon's Filly Throw.

[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  //////////////////////////////]
Mignon           0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0              Mai


The throw actually connects -- and sends Mai right off the platform!

And that's the end of that fight!

Suddenly, though, Mai swoops up over the other side, no worse for wear!

A SECOND AGO

Mai grabs a branch as she falls, using it to swing herself around and around to gain momentum, before launching herself back upward to grab the underside of the platform and then flip up over the side!

NOW

Mai lands in a crouch. "Wow! That would've been a pretty poor fight if we had let it end that quickly! Chiii-yaa!" Mai hops up in a kick, aimed right for Mignon's carefully coiffed curls!

COMBATSYS: Mignon blocks Mai's Light Kick.

[   \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  //////////////////////////////]
Mignon           0/-------/------=|-------\-------\0              Mai


The Mai is falling!

God save the Mai.. OH GOOD! He listened! Mignon gasps, as Mai swoops back up on the other side, Mignon turning and staring. "Wow... More magic! Mignon never thought she'd see someone able to TELEPORT! That must be amazing!" Ninja Magic. "SO Mignon wants to know HOW YOU DO IT NOW NOW NOW!" She exclaims, flailing her arms a bit as she makes note of this! "Mignon can TELL it's magic!" She stomps, the platform shakes. "So Mignon is SURE! So Mignon wants to hear just how .. oh and yeah Mignon agrees!"

The kick, aimed for her head, meets TERRIBLE GLOWING BAUBLE. The sparkling shot causes Mignon to stagger backwards, but far from worse for ware!

"Phew.. you hit really hard!" Mignon exclaims, "Or maybe .. It's because of the MAGIC!" She accuses, as she brings both hands upwards, as she leaps at Mai while she's halfway into the kick. "KITTY CRUSHER! NYAAAAH!" It's a cat tackle. Just that. A CAT TACKLE.

Sure to have explosive, pounce based, results.

COMBATSYS: Mai interrupts Strong Punch from Mignon with Weapon Jab.

[     \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ////////////////////////////  ]
Mignon           0/-------/---====|=------\-------\0              Mai


Mai is kittypounced, landing on her shoulder on the platform, which lurches. "Aaa are you a retarded you're gonna make us fall!" she blurts, whapping Mignon in the side of the head with her closed fan, much like her grandfather did to her with a kendo.

Mai squirms free and rolls to her feet. "Teleport? What?" Then, the voice of Hanzo Shiranui comes to Mai, in bad voiceover form: 'A ninja's greatest tool is deception...' he utters, 'Deception and trickery...' "Why, I /can/ teleport, yes," Mai says, beaming proudly. "I learned it... when... I... found... out... I was a mutant," Mai nods affirmatively. "Cursed and blessed with powers beyond mortal men, and then this old English guy who was in like an American Japanese internment camp or something came to me and was like 'OH, MAI, YOU NEED TO KILL HUMANS WITH ME' and I was like 'what no way' and then Captain Picard rolled up because Spock had crippled him in a laser duel and he was like 'no we have to live in harmony' and I was like 'well that's pretty cool I guess' and"

Mai's story literally goes on for like eight more minutes.

"Mignon is MIGHT-" DONK. The witch is whapped in the side of the head with the fan, causing massive damage. Staggering backwards, the pink terror seems to be satiated for the moment as she falls backwards, flailing a bit. "W-oooahh Mignon does not ... feel so good.... and Mignon is not .. retarded!" She fights this off as best she can while trying to not ACT retarded.

Difficulty level : ONE THOUSAND.

Yet Mai rolls to her feet and Mignon stands, staggering a bit! And that's when Mai goes on to continue with her life story, about this and that, Mignon pretending to listen.. and then leaning forwards... and then pretending.. and then yawning. and then pretending.. and then ..

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Zzzzzzzzzzzz.

Mignon ... never DID do good in history.

COMBATSYS: Mignon drops her guard to recover.

[\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ////////////////////////////  ]
Mignon           0/-------/---====|=------\-------\0              Mai


"I don't know I guess Terry wandered off to go drink at that one little scuzzy beer bar that used to call us and make us bring him home all the time I think it was called 'the Hideout' or something and they really sucked, it smelled like pee and their menu was Coors, Coors Light, Coors mixed with Coors Light, and something called the Coors Special which I think was the Coors mixed with Coors Light, mixed with Coors Light. But anyway so Terry went off and Andy and I were there alone and so I dropped another one of my subtle hints by showing him the 'A' I had shaved my p--"

Mai tilts her head. "Hey. Are you even listening?" Mai crosses her arms over her chest, her face getting stern and cross. "I mean, could you /BE/ any ruder?! This is a /fight/!"

Mai suddenly lunges forward, spinning gracefully into a roundhouse aimed at Mignon's head!

COMBATSYS: Mignon endures Mai's Strong Kick.

[                \\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ////////////////////////////  ]
Mignon           1/----===/=======|===----\-------\0              Mai


It's as Mignon falls asleep, not really listening to Mai, that she invites what happens next. "AIEEEEEEEEEE!" Mignon is suddenly woken up with a bleeding head, as the roundhouse simply crashes into Mignon, kicking her when she can't even respond. "OWWWWWWWWWWW MIGNON NEEDS MEDICAL ATTENTION OW OW OW!" She flails about as she's painfully woken up, arms flapping in the wind as she goes to run about the platform over and over.

"MIGNON CAN'T BELIEVE YOU HIT HER THAT HARD WHEN SHE WAS TIRED BECAUSE YOUR STORY WAS BORING!" She points one hand towards Mai as her head continues that nice red dye.

"DIVINE WIND SPIRIT!" She bellows, although it's weak, because Mignon's nearly knocked out.

And then tossing a wind-spirit towards Mai, the blast of chi .. flies towards her! Spinning!

COMBATSYS: Mai dodges Mignon's Windstorm.

[                 \\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ////////////////////////////  ]
Mignon           1/----===/=======|===----\-------\0              Mai


"Yaaa!" Mai is swept up, but thrashes around, tumbling until she just loses all aerodynamicism whatsoever and thuds into the platform gracelessly, very nearly turning it into an amazing Mignon catapult.

"Hey!" Mai says, dusting herself off and getting to her feet, "My stories are great! You're just rude and talk about yourself really funny, like you're some sort of Dutch aristocrat, or Prince!" Mai hmphs, and lunges toward Mignon again.

Mai's lunge turns into a spin, whipping forward the tails of her scanty kunoichi whoresuit, which suddenly catch ablaze with chi flame. "AND PRINCE HASN'T HAD A GOOD ALBUM SINCE THE SOUNDTRACK TO 'UNDER THE CHERRY MOON!'" Fwoosh!

COMBATSYS: Mignon endures Mai's Ryuu Enbu.

[                      \\\\\\\\  < >  ///////////////////////////   ]
Mignon           1/=======/=======|=====--\-------\0              Mai


Mignon is NOT taking this standing up OR sitting down!

Instead she's watching as Mai seems to simply move against her assaults.. it's kind of amazing, in a way! But Mignon is anything but happy about how it turns out! "NUH-UH! Mignon can't remember when a STORY went on for that long and didn't have a real point to it!" Mignon exclaims, holding part of her head.

And then as Mai lunges, a whipping of tails that are set AFLAME.

Much like the passions of a -No. No Mignon has 0 attraction to Mai. Forever.

But Mignon moves into the burning flame, and grasping Mai, Mignon takes the hand off her face. Because she is getting something out. "That's IT! Mignon is done listening so INSTEAD take a gift from Mignon and LEARN TO LIKE IT!" Her 'yell' doesn't make sense, perhaps, at first, until she grabs her present.. and deposits it nearby Mai, at her feet, before tumbling off.

It's flashing.

It's ..

A BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMB.

COMBATSYS: Mignon successfully hits Mai with Heartful Present.
- Power hit! -

[                      \\\\\\\\  < >  /////////////////////         ]
Mignon           0/-------/----===|=======\-------\1              Mai


BWOOM

When the explosion settles... Mai is gone.

A chunk of the platform has splintered away, like a sharkbite in a surfboard. And Mai's fan can be seen over the edge, falling lazily toward the ground, looping in circles.

And then, suddenly, Mai drops from above. "SURPRISE!" She's all scorched up, bruised and singed, but there she is, falling toward Mignon and the platform from way high up in the air. "HOW'S THE WEATHER DOWN THERE?!" Mai calls, thinking this is witty. "CUZ IT'S GONNA GET PRETTY HOT!"

And then Mai tucks into a roll, chi flame burning all around her, a flaming cannonball falling right -- at -- Mignon.

COMBATSYS: Mai successfully hits Mignon with Hou'ou no Mai EX.

[                                < >  /////////////////////         ]
Mignon           1/------=/=======|-------\-------\0              Mai


COMBATSYS: Mignon takes no action.

[         \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  <
Mai              0/-------/------=|


COMBATSYS: Mignon can no longer fight.

[         \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  <
Mai              0/-------/------=|


It's as Mai VANISHES ABOVE that Mignon cannot see what is coming, because there WAS a chi bomb there. There isn't anymore.

Mai's fan is there too.. and there is Mai, falling on the platform, as she tucks into a roll, chi-flame burning about her.. before crashing straight into Mignon, a burning ball of chi fire.

The witch is burned, signed, and flails as she tried to leap out of the way!

Instead she hits the ground hard, bouncing against the makeshift platform once before skidding to a stop, weakly raising a hand, before looking up. "Still.. boring .. stories!" She protests before ..

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

She's tuckered out!

And beaten to a state of unconciousness.

Mai lands on the platform next to Mignon, hmpfing in a manner that suggests she does not think much of the witch's attitude.

Then the hastily made platform shatters under her, a Mai-shaped hole breaking in the wood, causing her to fall to her doom. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WWWWWWWWHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-- UMPH!"

Mai smashes into the giant airbag all the way on the ground, bouncing back into the air, jiggling everywhere until she lands again on the air bag.

It takes her a few moments, but then she JUMPS to her feet. "I wanna do that AGAIN!"

COMBATSYS: Mai has ended the fight here.

Log created on 23:19:38 11/07/2008 by Mignon, and last modified on 18:30:23 11/08/2008.