Rick - Rick Rolls Ka.....that breaks the RRR theme.

Description: While moving around on a night full of barhopping Rick Strowd comes across the frightfully evil Katana(Played by Bob Backlund in his best role to date). Can Rick stop Katana from stealing all the anime that kids love!?



%Friday nights are the best. After a long week of walking about and honestly doing nothing other than spending his earnings Rick has landed himself in several bars already despite the night still being young. He has been having the time of his life and the only downside is the fact he wasn't able to kidnap Rust to come along for the festivities. He will breath life back into that old man yet even if it kills him. It was after a few drinks at Pao Pao that the Native American has decided to stagger out of it and move onwards to the next bar and/or strip club. Whatever he he runs into next.

He is still kind of slurring along with the Danzig song that was playing on the jukebox, which means he is singing pretty much just how Glen Danzig does, while eyes squint ever so slightly and he looks to the left and then the right. He decides to head to the latter direction with a bit of a stagger to his step as he lumbers forward away from the mall and back towards the busy streets where people will once again mistake him as a hobo more than likely. At least he is wearing a shirt this time around. It has been too early in the barhopping for him to lose it just yet.

But as Rick staggers forwards, a fat guy.. a ROW of fat guys, are in his way. In what society, do the fat ones black the path to a beer run!? These fat guys are just that, fat, but behind them there happens to be a few others.. and they're all doing the same. Rick might not have realized it, by being drunk near/in the mall.. but something had .. ASSSSSEEEEMBLEEEEED.

And that something is the MAD GEAR GANG and Katana's brilliant ATTACK.... ON THE MONEY EARNING FACILITIES OF SOUTHTOWN! It's not just enough that Geese controls everything, and that Katana is paid a bit for his violent involvement in it already.

Katana just wants more .. TO FUEL HIS HORRIBLE ANIME AND MANGA HABIT. Really, they're like jumping to 70 Dollars for a box set ON THE CHEAP. HE WOULD BE OUTRAGED - if he didn't /need it to live/.

"Hey bub, what the hell are you doin'?" The fat guy motions to Rick as he bumps into him. "You ain't getting by unless your wallet is dry .. Unlike you, Hahaha!" "Heheeeeh yeah you tell em'!"

the Two thugs begin to talk with each other, making gestures and comments about Rick and his varying features, and parental figures. But this does not last for long, for there is a truck. And there is a man. But one.. giant weeabo.

"SHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYA!" The large man screams, his voice cracking when it gets to that point, before he coughs. "Tonight, MAD GEAR, the Shopping Mall SHALL FALL TO US! Take everything! LEAVE ONLY THE GIRLY STUFF! WE SHALL HAVE NO USE, AND NEITHER DOES JAPAN!" A young woman, recently joined, pipes up. "What about .. Hello Kitty?"

"HELLO KITTY SHALL PLEASE THE LAND OF THE RISING SUN! Take it TOO! But no BARBIES OKAY!"

Katana then walks to the end of the giant Semi he stands on, flashing, colored, and HUGE. "Hmm..? Hahaha! A drunk .. Frisk him .. SO HE MAY BE THE FIRST TONIGHT, THAT SUFFERS! And then the store.. AND THEN THOSE TERRIBLE COMPANIES THAT RIP OFF US POOR CONSUMERS.... FOR OUR RIGHTFUL FIX!" No, not drugs. Anime.

There are a few steps taken and there is the gross feeling of bumping into a tubby's tummy that causes Rick to back away a few steps while trying to figure out when a wall was erected there. People sure build shit quick these days. That is until the wall talks and Rick's focus comes back enough to realize two fatties are standing in front of him. His head tilts one way then the other as he looks them over with his dredlocks swaying about behind him. He eventually straightens back up and scratches at a cheek. "Don't need to be sober to win one against a tubby like you." he says while giving a rather dumb grin.

That is when his attention is turned to the shouting of Katana and two words really jump out at him. Once 'Mad Gear' is heard just a bit of the drunkeness seems to fade and the Native American hops about and tries to look around the fatties to look for Katana. "Oh you have to be kidding me." he says though he supposes Metro isn't a good place for Katana to be these days after being punked by Haggar so much.

Finally he seems to have enough with the fatty twins and he leans forward to bring his hand to slap both on the belly. "Knock...." then he clenches his fist to double uppercut. "Knock!" As distraction as the lava lamp like jiggling is Rick is more focused on Katana once those two are dealt with and he quickly thrusts a hand forward. "The hell you say. No one is robbing anyone tonight!" he declares before he pulls off his shirt and tosses it aside to display the warpaint that is undeneath covering his arms and back. It is kind of creepy he puts it on even when he goes out drinking, but it pays off on nights like this!

"Hahaha! Yeah I be he-BARF!" "HEY BUDDY WHAT THE HELL YOU THINK YOU'RE - BARF!" Both of the tubbies are socked in the tummies, and bowling over they go, fat and all, rolling a bit before they come to a stop, with dual lava lamp like action gut. It's clearly something that would take the will of a man like Rick to take his eyes off it.

JUST LIKE HE DID.

The Shogun does not notice Rick. DID NOT, until he causes both of his tubbies... wait FAT MEN to be knocked over, and without too much effort. Of course, the pointing and yelling at the large, muscled, and armored man, is pretty good too. The Shogun stares down to Rick, and as he rips his SHIRT OFF, the Shogun's focus on the Native American is obvious.

"No one? No one else .. BUT I you mean! THE SHOGUN SHALL TAKE NO COPY CATS THAT WOULD TAKE SOME OF HIS SHARE! And no one can stop Mad Gear.. NO ONE! My lust for what I need SHALL NOT BE STOPPED BY ONE LIKE YOU!" The Jitte are the weapon of choice today, and both are pointed upon Rick.

"Now ... WILL YOU DEFY ME AGAIN!?" Leaping down, the blue pants bend, and the armoring clatters as he spins his weaponry .. the jitte. Before POINTING THEM AT-Awww there they go flying off. "YOU WI-... Uh one sec." And two fatties hand them back to him. "Ahem.... YOU WILL FALL BEFORE THE MIGHT OF THE SHOGUN .. if you ... DEFY HIM HELLO KITTY, AND DRAGON BALL Z!... And lucky star.." He grumbles in a bit after.

Why yes, he does enjoy such WHOLESOME entertainment

What a lucky night for Rick it would seem. He never thought he would run into Katana of all people, but finding the Mad Gear gangster in Japan shouldn't be too big of a surprise. The guy pretty much faps to anything that is Japanese so why wouldn't he be here? "Shut it, weeabo!" he barks while reaching into the pockets of the white jeans he wears to produce a pair of fingerless gloves and begins to tug them on. He then stares for a few moments when the jitte are are both tossed away and quickly brought back to the 'imposing' gang boss.

It doesn't seem he is too imposing or intimidating to Rick since he just starts laughing for a few long moments as he holds his sides. "Y....you thr....and I'm the drunk....ahahaha." It takes him awhile before he manages to recover enough to take a deep breath and then raise his fists up before him. "Come on then, show me the might of Hello Kitty, you dawdling dickstretched piece of mufftaffy." he then raises a hand and waves towards Katana as he begins to bounce on his feet and get in something similar to the stance of a boxer, though for being rather drunk he has some fancing footwork going at the moment.

COMBATSYS: Rick has started a fight here.

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Rick             0/-------/------=|


COMBATSYS: Rick focuses on his next action.

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Rick             0/-------/------=|


THE CRIES. WEEABO. JAPANOPHILE.. FREAKY GUY! All of them ring heavy in Katana's soul, for once HE WAS CALLED THIS DAILY. The school system at work, children. But it doesn't matter, because Katana is told .. To suck it. HOW UNCOUTH! The Shogun recoils, gasping, the honor of his fight ... already destroyed! Not that Katana generally has any or anything.

But Rick's laughter is all too real, and it begins, a wave, gradually peeking before he finally recovers.. THE SHOGUN IS FAR FROM AMUSED.

"I will ... AND YOU SHALL REMEMBER THIS TASTE FOR MANY MOONS!" The insults are not lost on the Shogun, but the point remains .. Katana is not one to insult like such. He ... JAPAN... does not insult like such. They do it like this. "YOU GAIJIN, YOU COULD NOT UNDERSTAND THE SUBTLE CULTURES OF JAPAN!" You can almost hear it in a tinny nasally voice.. if the Shogun's voice didn't boom. It's like a football player talking about how much he likes Anime.

When Rick raises his fists, Katana brings the jitte upwards .. and the sandals come forwards, BEFORE THE SHOGUN IS OFF.

"Hello Kitty ... STRIKE OF THE THREE MOONS DOKU NO JIGGAY WIT AIT!"

The Shogun breaks across the ground, before both jitte are swung at one, trying to slash/strike Rick on his arms and legs, before pulling them to the outside .. and breaking open his guard!?

COMBATSYS: Katana has joined the fight here.

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Katana           0/-------/-------|=------\-------\0             Rick


COMBATSYS: Katana successfully hits Rick with Medium Strike.
- CRAZY Hit! -

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Katana           0/-------/-------|====---\-------\0             Rick


There are far worse words Rick could have used towards Katana, but at least he was being nice today as far as insults go. There is just this problem about starting fights when he isn't the most sober individual. Stuff like this should be left to the Ralf Joneseseseseses of the world and not someone like Rick. As hardy as he is he still isn't too well cordinated when he has been hitting the bottle for an extended period of time. That is why his footwork may be fancy, but they do get a bit tangled up when he attempts to avoid that strike made by Katana.

He curses a bit under his breath as he staggers back and shakes his arms about to try and work away the pain felt there from where they are slashed. With a light tch he rears back and then steps forward right back towards the shogun of bad anime and attempts to deliver a right aimed at the armored chest of Katana before he brings a vicious left straight aimed at the chin of that masked man.

COMBATSYS: Katana blocks Rick's Smash Sword.

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Katana           0/-------/------=|=====--\-------\0             Rick


The Shogun crashes forth, like water in a river! How stiff, his motions .. HOW QUICK AND STRONG he .. bumrushes? There is nothing graceful about his movements, nor is there anything special. Simply fast, and simply powerful.. leave the Shogun .. at least something of a threat. For even whilst he loves his Chobits so.. there is might in his strike!

And Man, isn't that so heartwarming, Chii's special love for her master is just so - Okay so it starts with a naked humanish doll and OKAY WE'RE STOPPING THERE.

But as Rick takes the strike.. the Shogun refuses to! perhaps it is all luck, but the Shogun refuses to ever believe it. Then again, Katana is a lunkhead of a person at times. "Hahahah! See that, AMERICAN!? Your strikes are nothing to me!" Rick steps forwards, a right aimed for the armored chest... but the right is stopped by the left arm guard, and the left, by the right. It stings, a ringing coming off the armor.. but it is certain why.

"And I .. WILL SHOW YOU WHAT STRENGTH IS! Prepare .. TO MEET MY MUSCLES!"

Frantic.. WORDS THAT GO ON, The Shogun is quick to recover, grasping for the hand that Rick shoots out.. and leaping! Of he can grab him and pull, the Shogun intends to spin, to come down on top of Rick! BODYSLAM STYLE.

"KAMEEHAAMEEEE HEAVE HOOOOOOOOOO DOKEN!"

He's just so charming.

COMBATSYS: Rick interrupts Medium Throw from Katana with Hellion.

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Katana           0/-------/-======|=======\=------\1             Rick


This fight started off bad for Rick, but that first hit is a rather sobering experience. Or at least to an extent. It allows him at least to focus a bit better on the multiple Katana's that were rushing at him. The adrenaline is starting to pump through the boxer and it is starting to get him 'in the zone'. He is down to about two Katana clones at this point that are trying to attack him with the latest and greatest of anime awesomeness when he finally seems to single out the right one of the two when they come in at him.

Katana two gets lucky because the first one is met with a right cross that comes around at about chest level. Rick's hands flash with energy and a yellow streak is left in his wake as he swings about with a powerful blow that is followed up with a powerful uppercut that shows off the same flair as the first strike as that chi laden fist smacks Katana right into the jaw. "HELLION!" the Native American cries as he delivers that pair of blows and then gives a big thumbs up. "Now that is how you stop an anime nerd."

As Katana grasps for him .. there is contact. Both in arm and hand to Rick, and Rick's fist to his CHEST. The energy that flashes with them .. the Shogun has an allergy to them. You see, he breaks out in horrible bruises and injuries, a common side effect of much allergies! And this time, the energy streak holds him as the uppercut comes, launching him upwards.. and striking him in the chin which is ... HIS MASK.

The Shogun is angered.

And yet, also, laid out, as Katana crashes into the ground, smoking from the energy reaction between BEEF and chi. Much like a hamburger patty, the Shogun sizzles.. and in about five minutes, he would be ready to serve. With mustard, ketchup, and all.

But there is one problem with this.

"I ... AM NO ... AMERICAN .. HAMBURGER!" The Shogun yells out as he gets to his feet, the Jitte conveniently never let go. Perhaps they were glued there after the spinning failure earlier.. but when!? ".. ANIME NERD!? The Shogun ... HOW DARE YOU CALL HIM BUT AN ANIME NERD.. I am a master, a TRIPLE BLACK BELT, AT ANIME! FOR THIS INSOLENCE I SHALL SHOW YOU MY STRONGEST TECHNIQUE!"

And rushing at Rick, Katana crashes towards the man, jitte raised to try and slam into his shoulders. And push him down to the ground. "DAIKYOUUUUUU!" If he's unlucky enough, the Shogun aims to keep charging Rick against the asphalt, pulling him along with his charge for a while before tossing him upwards.

For a power bomb.

"BURRRNINNNG!" Crash or not, he leaps back afterwards. "YAAAAAAAAA!"

The war yell is a classic Japan tradition.

COMBATSYS: Katana successfully hits Rick with Daikyou Burning.

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Katana           0/-------/=======|=======\===----\1             Rick


"Neeeeeeeeerd." Is all Rick Says in response to Katana again about his declaration that he isn't a nerd. "Only Sally's and sissies watch the shit you are talking about." he mocks and perhaps angers Katana in a rage that Rick cannot quite handle. He may be an anime nerd, but he is also a bit of an oaf that can pack a punch unlike most anime nerds. That is why Rick is caught off by the charge of the other fighter as he comes in and strikes at the boxer and catches him off guard when he tries to use his fancy footwork to avoid Katana.

The air is knocked out of Rick momentarily after that rush and he almost falls to one knee, but manages to keep himself standing up. "That all? No wonder why Haggar had no problem with you." he mocks again despite looking a bit worse for wear. Perhaps he shall just hold back for now and take some time to try and sober himself up some more and focus those dual Katana down to one.

COMBATSYS: Rick gains composure.

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Katana           0/-------/=======|=======\==-----\1             Rick


As Rick is football charged, the Shogun laughs, watching the man fall before him! BUT THEN .. he laughs. The Shogun does not like such laughter... and as he goes on to say that Haggar has had no trouble with him .. the SHOGUN GROWS MORE RAGE FILLED! "Hah.. YOU BELIEVE HE CAN STOP I!? I have caused that coward to go into hiding! .. HE HAS YET TO FACE ME!" The Shogun is sure this is the reasoning .. but as Rick begins to take time to sober up ..

He has caused Katana to go into a /berserker rage/.

This merely means he won't be thinking .. not that he grows stronger. But then, you must ask yourself.. WHEN does Katana ever TRULY think? A think that is quite noticeable, perhaps, is that the Shogun slowly takes his time to move towards Rick .. and with all that slow movement, rushes right at the guy.

From a few slow steps, as he speaks. "And now you have GONE TOO FAR! Perhaps you have heard .. OF BAKI THE GRAPPLER!"

And he takes off, grasping for Rick as he tries to bear hug him .. and leap straight into the air. "BAKIIIII CRASHIIIIIIING THUNDERRRR- BUTSUMETSU!"

Spinning, he attempts to hand on his feet first, and then bring Rick, body first, against the ground. "BUSSTAAAAAAAAAA!"

Landing or not, the Shogun is wordy as ever, "You .. HAVE ONLY SEEN ONE SIDE!"

COMBATSYS: Rick interrupts Butsumetsu Buster from Katana with Howling Bull.

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Katana           1/=======/=======|===----\-------\0             Rick


There is a few moments where Rick looks like a deer in headlighst when Katana comes sailing in, but then there is a bit of a grin that forms across the boxer's face as he raises his arms at first to allow Katana to bearhug him at first. He will take a bit of pain in the fact he lures the shogun wannabe right into where he wants him and that grin just widens as he brigs back a left hand and then thrusts it forward right into the face of Katana at full force as the chi ignites around it again. It is a forceful blow to allow him free of the hug and both fists become a flurry of blows aimed all across the torso and face of the other fighter, twelve in total by the time he rears back his left fist for one final strike. He then lets out a loud yell that would make Tatanka, the early 90's one and not the shitty attempt at a return, proud as he delivers a powerful blow to the chest and the chi ignites to blast Katana away. "Eat that, weeabo!"

The Shogun truly believes Rick is doomed .. he truly does. HE SHALL SMITE HIM IN HIS BLIND FURY, and .. not be smashed in the face by the left hand HEY NO THAT'S WRONG IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN TH- But he does. And oh, the fist slams rather directly onto the rather large mask over his entire face.. nearly splintering it, the chi burning the metal of the mask.

But then more fists come, punching, slamming, making Katana seem like a bag of meat. Infact, speaking like hamburgers before, the Shogun is being tenderized beyond recognition .. the MAD GEAR GANG .. will it be the Mad COW gang!?

Not if Katana can help it! .. Even if he's currently BLASTING AWAY AND SLAMMING INTO THE TRUCK. The Shogun leaves a nice 'Shogun's Pain' art style dent in the truck, before he peels off and falls to the ground.

Perhaps .. PERHAPS Rick will be able to get a nice cool mil from selling it.

BUT NO. The bloodied and beaten Shogun rises off his feet.. slowly coming up, the football player like warrior looking on to Rick through the warm mask, staring. "I have .. and I have found it ... painful.... but nothing like .. YOU WILL FEEL TODAY!"

The Shogun takes a single step. Slowly. A train beginning to chug faster. "I ... WILL SHOW YOU .... THE MIGHT .. OF. THE. SHOGUN!" His feet begin to hit the ground harder, sandals striking the ground as he moves faster.. and faster still, before grasping for Rick with the jitte once more.. ONCE MORE intent on forcing the man to the ground.

"TEN." AND CHARGE HE DOES, like Daikyou, Katana charges, driving, if it works, Rick against the ground.. and keeps charging! Until he once more lifts him up! "CHUU!"

But then the jitte are lashed outwards, striking Rick over and over as he may be juggled, lashing out .. before following up, leaping at the man.. and bringing him .. INTO A SUPLEX! "SATSU!"

With ALL HIS MIGHT, the shogun slams Rick towards the ground!

"THIS IS REVENGE ... FOR YOU KAGOME!"

oh god not inuyasha

COMBATSYS: Katana successfully hits Rick with Ten Chuu Satsu.
-* WILD HIT! *-
*KNOCKED AWAY*

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Katana           0/-------/---====|=======\==-----\1             Rick


Howling Bull, the pinnacle of the style that Rick has developed between what he was taught and what he has developed himself. Something he is very proud of and something VANESSA HASN'T STOLEN yet. That is why after all that punishment that Rick is rather surprised that Katana actually gets up after all of it. There is a small 'tch' that the boxer lets out and he raises his fists againt preparing to take the oncoming attack from the other fighter. "Well if you are still standing then just bri-HRK!" and out comes the alcohol. When Katana smacks into Rick the boxer barfs tequila all over him through the course of being slashed, smashed and suplexed about.

He hits the ground hard on the back of his head and his shoulders and just kinda lays there doubled over with his ass right in the air for a few moments until he finally rolls to where he ends up on his knees. "Kagome?" is all he manages to mumble while wiping gunk from his chin and then he pushes off his feet as he aims to charge back into Katana with several quick punches before attempting to deliver another powerful chi-imbued uppercut into the face of the shogun. "Inuyasha is fucking DBZ for girls, you fruit!" he calls out as he takes that final swing before falling over flat on his face.

COMBATSYS: Rick can no longer fight.

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Katana           0/-------/---====|


COMBATSYS: Katana blocks Rick's EX Shooting Star.

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Katana           0/-------/-======|


The Howling Bull. What strength. And yet as Rick prepares to take the assault .. the Shogun pulls forwards. And is then COVERED IN BARF.

God this is just terrible. JUST TERRIBLE. But with Rick laying doubled over.. the Shogun is standing tall, even with all that puke on him. "I will .. I WILL CLEAN THIS WITH YOUR SHIRT!" Well, it's right there, and Katana does it, yelling WHAT HE DOES.

It's the in thing. FOR SHOGUNS.

But as Rick pushes himself up, several quick punches slamming towards him .. the Shogun goes into a defensive stance, the smashing uppercut aiming to drill into his guard.. and yet, while it does, the Shogun stands.. "GHHH... INUYASHA IS A .... A .... a masterfully weaved TALE!" Katana retorts. "HOW DARE YOU INSULT THE LOVE THEY SHARE!"

But the Shogun teeters.. and teeters... but .. does not fall. Despite being close, the Shogun comes out of it ... standing, regaining his footing. "And I will have you ... ROBBED OF EVERYTHING!" "Boss what about the anime?" "GO GET THAT INSTEAD, GO! The cops will be here soon ONLY RAID THE MANGA AND ANIME! I DON'T WANT ANYTHING ELSE THIS TIME!" The fat guys get to running, more jiggling.

Back to Rick. "You see .. the Shogun .. is .. NO MERE ANIME LOVER!"

COMBATSYS: Katana takes no action.

[                         \\\\\  <
Katana           0/-------/-======|


Alas, Rick is not awake enough to hear this declaration about loving anime and all of that jazz. Instead he dreams about the hot wife he has and what sort of things he can get from her that no anime girl can give to Katana. ZIIIIING.

Log created on 19:03:34 09/19/2008 by Rick, and last modified on 21:48:07 09/19/2008.