Description: Kunoichi spirit and puroresu spirit collide... and the Mega-Powers EXPLODE!
How did Mai get into Seijyun High's dormitory?
Well, for one, she's a ninja -- getting into otherwise unattainable places is sort of one of her things. For another, she has a visitor's pass, the printed and signed sticker pasted to her cute little ninja costume. Mai's signature is illegible but she wrote 'THE FUTURE MRS. BOGARD' to be cute anyway.
The community posting board in the main hall of each floor is a place for all kinds of events to gain notice, and Mai reasons that with school back in session and freshman fifteens being gained, now's the best time to post up advertisements for the Shiranui Dojo's youth programs. "Hmm," she says, looking at the full posting board, wondering which to stick her colorful (printed on 'saffron') flyer over.
She settles on the poster advertising Rainbow Mika's upcoming match against LIONESS Shimoda, and tears the poster away casually while whistling a little tune, throwing the sheet behind her and re-using the tacks.
The balled-up poster lands with a meek little crumpling noise right in the lap of none other than MIKA 'RAINBOW MIKA' NANAKAWA, SUPER WRESTLING TERROR OF HOKURIKU AND THE INHERITER OF HARMAGEDDON STYLE INVINCIBLE WRESTLING. She is wearing a very frilly school uniform and little rimless glasses while she reads a book about the history of homemaking in Japan for class tomorrow.
Mika's nose scrunches up, initially in annoyance at people throwing things, but then she notices a familiar ponytail in the mass of torn paper. Why, that's her ponytail! She'd recognize it anywhere! The teen leaps to her feet in a flash, dropping her book and whipping off her glasses so hard that it deserves a dramatic music sting.
"Hey, you! How can you disrespect the venerable art of pro wrestling?! I can see from your outfit that you're an entertainer of some sort like myself, but even that won't protect you from my wrath!" she shouts, jabbing her finger outwards with her eyes wide. After a moment of consideration, Mika taps her chin. "Well, okay, maybe not like myself, even though I won't judge! Some women are simply more free with their bodies."
"Huh?" Mai turns around, having taken no less than thirty seconds to put two tacks in a sheet of paper, but ninja techniques sometimes take more time.
"Disrespect the venerable art of... pro wrestling?" Mai gives the high schooler an askance look, as if to somehow quietly check for signs of mental disability. "That stuff's fake, kid. /Real/ fighting happens in a /real/ dojo, not in some silly springy ring with ropes. You might as well try and convince me /boxing's/ not rigged." Mai snorts derisively. "If you want to see some real fighters in action, come by the Shiranui Dojo! Well... not Thursday from three to six, that's not the real fighters, it's the pre-schoolers. But anytime other than that, there's usually at least one real fighter around, or a student on their way to becoming one! And that student -- could be /you/!"
Mai beams.
"Whaaaaaat?" Mika says, hunching forward as if Mai's dismissal of her lifestyle was weighing heavily down upon her. Like hate. Mai is wrestling Hitler. The younger girl puts her hands on her hips, interfering with her poofy skirt, putting on a brave face while looking down the enemy of professional wrestling.
"Wrestling is totally real! Did you know that the Russian government passed a law preventing the hunting of wild bears with your hands because Zangief killed so many by training on them? Even though that's totally bogus because he would never kill mother bears, and if he accidentally did, he'd kill the cub as well to prevent it from dying slowly in the wild! He's very kind like that."
Mika bobs her head, pleased with the story, enough that it takes her a moment to get back on track. "Oh, yeah! Also you should pay me ten bucks so I can print out another poster and hang it up."
"Who's Zangief?" Mai replies, scratching her temple quizzically. "He's that huge guy with the beard and the ball and chain, right? The big fatty fat-fat?" Mai shrugs, as if the issue is not worth pondering further, and in that moment, Mika snaps back into demanding stuff.
"What the hell, I'm not paying you ten bucks," Mai says, putting her hands on her hips. "It serves you right for putting a ten-dollar poster on a corkboard. I went to Kinko's and this greasy guy with a ponytail kept trying to take pictures of me on his iPhone the entire time and he smelled like cigarette smoke and mid-90s alternagoth industrial music, but at least I didn't pay ten bucks." Mai turns her chin up, smugly. "Look, kid, if you keep this up someone's bound to take it the wrong way, and I really don't want to have to /make/ you cut it out, since I imagine life's hard enough for a teenager your size. Where do you even buy pants?"
Mika sucks in a sharp breath, jerking backwards as if struck, her trembling hand held in front of her to ward off yet more blows. "Wh-what? How dare you! I have a negligent amount of body fat! I can't help my genetics! Besides, we shop at the same store, I saw you there last week! You bought those capri pants that were way too expensive."
The wrestler leans forward, cracking her knuckles and setting her jaw determinedly. The effect is not great because she has something of a baby face. "If you won't pay me for the damages you've wrought, then I guess we have to extreme battle. I mean, uh, x-treme. Am I saying that right? Look, anyway, we have to fight, that's how these things go down."
Mai has already shifted into a fighting stance, a look of perhaps fatal fury crossing her eyes, her anger running hot: "Those capris," she says, coldly and with authority, "were /adorable/."
It's on.
COMBATSYS: Mai has started a fight here.
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Mai 0/-------/-------|
COMBATSYS: R.Mika has joined the fight here.
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R.Mika 0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0 Mai
"Well, okay, maybe they are, but you shouldn't go around throwing money at things like that! You should save it for important things, like nicely printed posters advertising your pseudo-sapphic wrestling matches!" Mika shouts, enraged by how unbelievably rude Mai is. If there's one thing she hates... it's rude people. She's not very specific with her dislikes.
As Mai settles into her fighting routine, Mika adopts a wider stance of her own. With narrowed eyes and an almost palpable FIGHT AURA that all way-too-intense people get with they start punching the adrenaline, the younger girl strikes a super sentai pose, and then promptly rips off her uniform while shrieking "AAAARGH HULKAMANIA! HOOOAAARARRGH!"
Thankfully she's wearing exercise clothes underneath it but still she looks super pumped.
COMBATSYS: R.Mika gathers her will.
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R.Mika 0/-------/---====|-------\-------\0 Mai
"It's my money and I'll spend it how I please!" Mai counters, glaring at Mika, truly insulted down to her ninja core. "You're worse than my father, and he's worse than my grandfather, and my lineage prior to my grandfather is all dead but I'm sure they'd have been jerks about it too!" She flexes, fingertips wiggling as one leg tenses.
"It's a good thing you're really judgmental and like to shout nonsense like a crazy person," Mai states, "or I'd feel bad about doing this to a high school student!" Suddenly, Mai pops into the air, coming down with both feet to try and kick off of Mika's chest!
COMBATSYS: Mai successfully hits R.Mika with Light Kick.
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R.Mika 0/-------/-======|-------\-------\0 Mai
"AAARGH!" Mika screams manfully, imagining the roar of the audience! And then she totally gets double flying kicked in the boob and that totally hurts ow oh my god ow. In fact, it hurts so much, she staggers back saying exactly what she's thinking, because thought filters are on a lower priority level than pain. "Ow oh my god ow!"
She's stopped by a nearby chair, falling back into it while tenderly holding an arm over her chest. "What kind of ninja are you? That's not honorable at all! Wait, wait, no, samurai are the honorable ones." Mika lunges forward out of her chair, shouting "Why can't you be a slutty samurai instead?!" as she does a little hop, spinning around, and then throwing herself ass-first at Mai while she tries to recover from her jump. There is no escaping it. Maybe.
COMBATSYS: Mai dodges R.Mika's Flying Peach.
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R.Mika 0/-------/--=====|-------\-------\0 Mai
Insulting Mai only seems to sharpen her fleet-footed fury, and as soon as her feet touch ground and Mika's ass hurtles toward her, she's launched into the air again, letting the momentum of her previous jump translate into a series of bounces, from floor to wall and from wall to tabletop. "/Samurai/?!" she says, staring in incredulous fury. "Samurai /wish/ they were ninjas!"
Mai produces a steel fan -- lord knows from where. "And I am /not/ slutty!" she barks, hurling the closed fan so that it opens in mid-spin, thin but weighted metal heading toward the ass-rampaging high schooler across the room. "I'm /EMPOWERED/!"
COMBATSYS: Mai successfully hits R.Mika with Kachou Sen.
- Power hit! -
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R.Mika 1/------=/=======|==-----\-------\0 Mai
Mika picks herself up off the ground, hopping annoyedly because Mai carelessly left a tack on the ground and it suddenly made professional wrestling not fun. The teen picks it out of her flesh, hissing between her teeth. "Argh, this is why we fight in rings! Instead of-- ARGH!"
It's really a question of how but the fan somehow folds back up mid-flight and then makes its home right in the scenic countryside of 'Mika's left eye'. She jerks backwards, back up against the wall again, holding her face. "Is this honestly how you fight?! What kind of horrible person are you, kicking people in the boob and poking them in the eye with things! Do you beat up children for fun?! You're like Mike Bison but hopefully with more teeth!"
Mika drops her guard, leaping atop the table next to her so she can jab a finger all accusatory at Mai again. "In the name of honest people everywhere, I have to destroy your dojo of LIES before you taint the next generation with things like 'oh of course it's okay to stab people in the middle of a fist fight! If they were really concerned with not being stabbed they would have brought a gun!' I, RAINBOW MIKA, SWEAR THIS! OH YEAH!"
COMBATSYS: R.Mika gathers her will.
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R.Mika 1/--=====/=======|==-----\-------\0 Mai
Mai endures the tirade with a blank stare that begs the question: 'Are you serious?' She puts her hands on her hips again, still standing atop a table, one foot on a copy of VIBE Nippon with Elena on the cover. "I'm really not sure what to make of you, kid," Mai says, shaking her head with a gentle frown. "You're so /angry/ and it, like, doesn't seem to shut off. Maybe wrestling's a bad choice for you, 'cause really, martial arts are all about helping to control those emotions and harness them toward productive ends, and not, like, rampage around like an insane homeless person, screaming everywhere and threatening to destroy really cool, venerable dojos."
Mai shrugs. "But what do I know? I mean I'm only just an adult, and you're a kid who tore her high school uniform in half. How about I show you exactly what it means to focus yourself -- because it's focus of the mind and body that lets you do stuff like THIS!" Mai leaps at Mika, and as she comes down, she spins -- her tails swoop, and her chi manifests itself in a brief explosion of flame -- whether it connects or not, the fire alarm sounds, and students begin to pour out of the doorways as the sprinklers go off.
COMBATSYS: R.Mika endures Mai's Ryuu Enbu.
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R.Mika 2/<<<<<<</<<<<<<<|====---\-------\0 Mai
Mika lowers her hand, lower lip trembling. What if Mai is right? What if she's being irrational, and Mai is just some ancient ninja master wandering the world in a really, really questionable disguise? Is this one of those situations that you're supposed to learn from? Is Mika supposed to become a better person here? Was what Yoko Harmageddon told her all along really a lie fueled by roid rage?
During this soul searching, Mai kicks in the fire and the alarm goes off and everything gets wet. The teen slumps her shoulders, giving the other woman a suffering look. Can she really back down in the face of all this flash?! Of course not! Like Yoko Harmageddon, she must plow through adversity to claim the championship belt due to a split decision with controversy over the use of a taser hidden in her bra!
"HUP-AAAAAAAAH!" Mika shouts, leaping forward through the flames, reaching out to grab Mai's throat!
COMBATSYS: Mai endures R.Mika's Rainbow Dynamite.
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R.Mika 1/-------/=======|=======\-------\1 Mai
Normally what comes after 'choke' is 'slam', but this is Japan so the closest association is 'headbutt'. In fact, it's like thirty goddamn headbutts. Flame curling around her, Mika ignores the pain and puts all of her little heart into headbutting Mai so many times that it becomes a natural part of her life rather than a jarring attack. Just when it seems like it will never end, Mika tosses her opponent aside, and rubs her head because seriously, ouch.
"UH UH UH UH UH UH UH UH UH UH" Mai utters ad nauseam as she is headbutted roughly fifty billion times. She's hurled into a pack of fleeing students who go down like a game of tenpin, Mai herself rolling on the wet ground, making her top even more clingy and suggestive than is typical (this is amazing). She slowly gets up and shakes, her hair soaking wet from direct sprinkler attack. "Oh my god my head," she groans, feebly gripping at a fire extinguisher case to force herself up. "Do you see?! I did a cool fire thing and you just bashed me in the head with your head like... a million times! You just proved my point that ninjas beat wrestlers!"
Mai shakes her head twice and seems to recover some of her ninja instinct, flipping two fans from somewhere or other and, in a swift, choreographed motion, kicking the balls at the ends of her 'tails' upward so that she can grab hold of them. Tails and fans in hand, she starts spinning toward Mika, a deadly whirlwind of wet and wild ninja power! "LIKE SO-AH!"
COMBATSYS: R.Mika endures Mai's Hakuro no Mai.
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R.Mika 1/----===/=======|=======\=------\1 Mai
"What? Your cool fire thing totally caused thousands of dollars of water damage just right now! That's completely irresponsible! You are a very inconsiderate ninja!" Mika chides, wagging her finger. "Don't you care about other people? This is why ninjas are like the number one villain minion, they have no heart!"
The blonde teen drops into her fighting stance again, circling Mai while she continues to berate her. The water is soaking her too, but she's got one of those sweat wick away tops, so her womanly modesty is kept unlike Mai's. Get with the program, seriously. "Besides, even if you've got some kind of weird mystical ninja abilities, I can't let you leave without showing the power of wrestling, even in the hands of a rookie like me! One day, I'll be a superstar like Zangief and then chi lasers won't be a problem! Invincible Rainbow Chi-Deflecting Flying Peach-- I can see it now! HUP-AAAAAAAAH!"
Oh shit, here she comes again.
COMBATSYS: R.Mika successfully hits Mai with Rainbow Hip Rush.
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R.Mika 0/-------/-----==|=======\=====--\1 Mai
This time, mercifully, Mika doesn't go for the throat. No, instead, she goes for the face, with a little tiny girl fist. Behind this girl fist, however, is the power of HARMAGEDDON, which is mighty indeed, enough to give the teen enough room to perform a forward flip and gab Mai by the head with her ankles!
Mika pushes up off the ground, wrapping her ridiculously and in fact freakishly muscular thighs around Mai's head, knocking her to the ground where she, for a moment, takes a breather. Tears stream from her eyes as she raises her hands towards the ceiling, water cascading down upon her. "Teacher! I haven't forgotten your words! NEEEVVEERRRRR!"
Somehow, SOMEHOW, Mika rolls forward, and by virtue of her legs which can only be described at 'meat miracle-ish', bodily flings Mai into the air. She pushes off the ground with her arms again, flying after the ninja, and improbable bounces off of the ceiling. The teen wrestler collides mid-air, wrapping up Mai's arms so she can crash down to the ground, leading with her hip!
Mai stands defiantly through Mika's speech, keeping an eye on the youthful wrestler throughout her speech. The alarms continue, and students are still filing out, because this is a huge school and it's hard to fully execute proper fire procedures when two people are brawling right in the main hall.
Mai is then subjected to the most improbably chain of maneuvers known to any non-luchadore in existence, and is soundly pummeled, doing a slow-motion bounce away from the impact with a prolonged but feminine "AAAUUUGGGGHHH." She crumples on the ground again, soaking wet, and after a long few seconds, she forces herself up. There is something colder in her eyes.
"NOW /SEE HERE/!" she emits in a curt, clipped tone -- it's rare for Mai to rise to anger, but it seems to have happened now. "/YOU/ ARE THE ONE TO BLAME HERE -- I've been putting up flyers trying to teach young ladies how to defend themselves, learn to focus and strengthen their bodies, and apply discipline to their minds. /You/, like a /wrestler/, have just been running around yelling at everyone and investing poorly. So you made it a fight, and now look, /both/ my flyer and /your/ poster are ruined. Your little wrestling league may be out twelve seats' worth of admission at your show, because /really/, how many girls go to wrestling shows /anyway/, but people who otherwise might have signed up to my family's dojo and /learned/ something are out of luck, unable to make a difference in their lives and stand up for what they believe in through the mastery and mystery of Shiranui style ninjitsu!" Mai is very huffy, and her face scrunches into a cute little angry frown.
"Well, you aren't the only one with wrestling moves, missy -- back when I was a teenager, a wrestler stopped by the dojo for some stupid photo op, and while he was there, I learned something from him!" Mai glares, "This wrestler? Was /Randy Savage/. And what I learned?" Mai leaps forward, into a handspring. "/The secret of the perfect flying elbow!!!/" She comes out of the handspring moving so fast, so soaked in chi, that she leaves an afterimage, and flames burn from her path as if in utter defiance of the water sprinkling down. "CHOUUU HISSATSUUU SHINOBIII BAAACHIII--!"
COMBATSYS: R.Mika interrupts Chou Hissatsu Shinobi Bachi from Mai with German Suplex.
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R.Mika 0/-------/--=====|====---\-------\0 Mai
Mika staggers to her feet, almost destroyed, but not quite out! She still has fight left in her, because to admit otherwise would be submitting to a motivational beating from Yoko Harmageddon. The couch sees all and knows all! Thrilled at the perfect execution of a tough attack, the teen wrestler is able to keep her stance light, anticipating the next attack!
But, sadly, the next attack cannot be guarded against with perfect muscles and the most stunning figure in Japan. No, words must be just defended with the mind, and Mai just used dm/speed. Mika bites her lower lip, raising her arm over her face. "You really hate wrestling so much that you would insult a photo op with 'Macho Man' Randy Savage and then pervert his divine teachings to use against me? I... I... I thought you were a proper feminine role model! I EVEN BOUGHT AN OFFICIAL SHIRANUI NINJA THONG FOR TRAINING! The commercial said they gave you fighting spirit! THIS IS SOMETHING I CANNOT FORGIVE!"
Mika leaps forward, wailing with regret at what she must do. Mai's Macho Man-inspired elbow strikes true, as it always will as long as the true spirit of Macho is with this world; that very same spirit, however, is inside of Mika. "GUIDE MY SUPLEX, 'MACHO MAN' RANDY SAVAGE!"
Somehow, through the ninja fire, Mika slides her arm through her opponent's outstretched elbow, twisting her around so she can do the same to the other, forcing her head down into her chest. The wrestler pushes off the ground, the combined momentum carrying both of them through a nearby window into the dark night, where they plummet to the ground!
"MAI! SNAP... INTO... A SLIM JIM! HUP-AAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
The german suplex shakes the building to its very foundations.
BOOM.
Mai's shoulders and neck impact the ground so hard that spiderweb cracks erupt in jagged lines running outward from the epicenter of this little quake, and she again bounces harshly, skidding to a stop once she lands on her side. She sits up again, but doesn't make it all the way up, leaning on a hand and her wide hips as she clutches her forehead, shaking her skull, possibly to dislodge fragments from her brain tissue.
Up in heaven, the angel of Chris Benoit gives a thumbs-up down to Mika, and then proceeds to murder his angel wife and angel son.
Mai staggers to her feet, looking woozy and dazed. "I haven't been manhandled like that since Terry went into the wrong bed and thought I was Blue Mary," she says with some amazement in her tone. "But you're not the only person who can throw people around!" Gaining some semblance of a second wind, Mai charges forward, putting all of her strength into a leap that, if connecting properly, shall segue into a flipping judo throw. She learned this move from Jubei Yamada -- the demon of throwing.
COMBATSYS: R.Mika interrupts Strong Throw from Mai with Wingless Airplane.
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R.Mika 0/-------/--=====|=======\-------\0 Mai
COMBATSYS: R.Mika can no longer fight.
[ \\\\\\ <
Mai 1/-------/=======|
Mika rolls up off the ground, unsteady on her feet as she blearily gazes into the darkness to spot Mai. After a moment she realizes she's facing the wrong way, and turns around. Luckily, Mai is still reminiscing about that one time a man touched her in ways that made her feel like a woman, so the teen wrestler isn't going to get suckerpunched in the back of the head or anything.
"Wh-- huh? Is Terry Bogard your brother?" Mika asks woozily. She shakes her head, "wait, no, that doesn't make sense. Nngh. I can't let a life-threatening conscussion stop me from fighting ninjas! Let's go!"
In slow motion, Mika dashes towards Mai, leaping into the air simultaneously. What happens next is a confusing aerial ballet of flipping, grappling, flexing muscles, and heaving bosoms that should not be on young Japanese women. The tangle works itself explosively, both Mai and Mika flying apart after somehow throwing each other simultaneously.
Mika unceremoniously hits a tree and falls to the ground with a clunk. Advantage: ninja dodging trees. Score one for Shiranui!
The aerial death-dance has actually knocked the fighting ladies /out of a window/. Mika slams into the tree branch and goes down, while Mai just lands in another tree, smacking into it stomach-first and hanging limply, a ragdoll of a ninja curved into an upside-down 'U' shape. "Oh god Grandfather please not the kendo again I promise it was someone else who ate your rice I know I'm supposed to be fasting aauuuguuuhhh," she blather-mumbles deliriously, before tumbling out of the tree as well.
There, the two combatants lay on one of the exceptionally well-gardened side lawns of the dormitory, as the fire engines pull up and various teenaged girls stand around in the cool night chattering and cursing and gossiping about how Mika Nanakawa was fighting some kind of insane prostitute. It's a long minute, but Mai finally sits up, covered in bruises and grass stains, costume torn in a few places (but remaining as decent as she really gets). She glances over at Mika, and pushes herself up to her feet fully. "Wow."
Mai looks down at the spent youth again. "I guess wrestling and ninjitsu /can/ coexist after all," Mai says, in the profound tone of someone who's Learned Something Today. She reaches down to offer Mika a hand-up. "That was some good fighting, kid."
Mika, crumpled in a pile all ass and elbows, suddenly convulses as she wakes up and flips over onto her back. "ARGH NO THERE'S TOO MANY POLAR BEARS!-- oh, uhm." The blonde teen squints, moving on to rubbing her eyes as Mai is... reaching down to help her up?! What, how could this be, when just moments ago they were swearing to kill each other with razor sharp samurai swords? Could this be the legendary heel-to-face-turn?!
"Do you really think so?!" Mika says breathlessly, eyes sparkling. "Wrestlers and ninjas, living in peace? I... I promise to never insult ninjas again, to make this dream come true!"
Grabbing Mai's hand, Mika leaps to her feet with surprising vigor, giving Mai an awkward bearhug that displays why belly-to-belly suplexes were not featured in this fight. Mighty tears of triumph spring from her eyes. "I'm so happy!"
"GURK!" Mai chokes as she's bearhugged -- but as soon as the hug ends and she's about to say something profound, one of the prefects of Seijyun High grabs the kunoichi by the ear and starts dragging her over toward some surly-looking firefighters and police officers.
THE END
COMBATSYS: Mai has ended the fight here.
Log created on 18:38:50 09/18/2008 by Mai, and last modified on 23:29:54 09/18/2008.