Description: When Choi decides to go hustling at a local Karaoke Bar, he finds out that Naerose is more than he can chew! Now with 33% more Sock Puppets!
o/~ I am a buffet eater, filling plates with deliciousness in the form of foood, and I don't really caare whose tab it's on, as long as the place keeps serving this is the food I neeeed, yeah, o/~
o/~ Thisain a seaitsagoshdanged lunch buffeto/~ *mumbled as if someone doesn't know the words.*
o/~ I'm the leading witch, and the scenes I weave are oh so ridiculous, DO DO DO DO DODO DOOO DO DO DO DODO DOOO! Yay! o/~
She doesn't have a mic, if she did someone would of shut her off long ago, instead she has a broom stick and she's totally singing on the top and air guitaring over the side. She's a woman dressed in red, with a red dress, a red witches hat, red sleeves. .Red red red, except for her black round teashades and boots. Even her nails and lips are painted red, though she does little else (nothing else) to wear makeup. Her reddish brown hair is short cropped and mostly shoved underneath her red hat. Meanwhile the bar, which made the mistake of letting her run up a tab, is glowering at her, wondering if she will ever leave, but first if she can even pay. The growing belief is that no, probably not. And is there someone else singing? With the real mic? Well you'll have to contend with this canter wailing (whatever that means.)
Ah. Japanese bars. Home of Karaoke, booze, and, most importantly, drunk women! Yes, Choi loved bars. Not Karaoke, of course, as such things have traumatized him since his tenure with Jhun. No, our 'hero' was sitting at the bar side, eyeing the crowd. Swirling a highball with his finger, he was using his stalker skills to find just the right lady. But none seemed perfect yet.
The Korean was knocking off each of the potential stands. Cute, but difficult. Ugly, but easy. Cute, easy, but not drinking. Choi needed to find the perfect combination of the three main traits: Cute, easy, and drunk! That is what made Karaoke bars so great. You could tell how drunk someone was by how they sung. And the sex appeal factor was more easily noticed when they stood out and sang. And sadly, Naerose stood out.
Choi looked over at the red head. Mmm. Red Hair. And those boots! And judging by her actions, she was probably drunk AND on some sort of secondary drug! She would be easier than a wrestling with Stephen Hawking. The dirty Korean tilted back the highball, and immediately began to choke violently. The bartender looks indifferently at the stupid foreigner as Choi frantically hacked and gripped his throat.
The toothpick eventually come flying out, but the midget ends up swallowing the olive. Wheezing for a moment, he drops off his phone book and starts walking away from the stool. It was time for... the moves. Taking his hat off, he polishes his head, and plops it right back on. He slithers, not walk, SLITHERS towards the stage with his best imitation of Leisure Suit Larry. And then, with a finger point and a overbite grin, he calls out to the Red Head shouting into the broom.
"Hey, toots, are broom handles the only thing you are great at working and screaming for?"
"You're hired!" Exclaims Naerose and reaches into her hat, fumbling around a moment before finding what she is looking for, a guitar hero controller, which she gives to .. Well rather shoves into Choi's hands with a winning smile and a wink over the tops of her shades. It's hard to tell, did she even hear what was said to her or is she just that utterly cluelesss. She does have a terrible case of hat hair and.. There appears to be a bunny nested somewhere underneath that hat as it attempts to escape! But it fails, as she smacks it with the broom and then shoves her hat back over it. Yep, this was going to work great.
"Right, so you jam out on that to some sweet music, umm beatles or something, and you can give me some tootzirolls later, I am totally all about candy, right lets do this."
"Alright, gooooood evening viatnam, introducing the new band, Naerose and the Monkey Man! "
The regulars look up or don't look up, grumble, grunt and generally appear annoyed. This was not the thing Karaoke was supposed to be about.
She turns to Choi and whispers to him, not taking even a half second to pause, speaking to her or something might have to happen after she's done trying to shove the guitar hero controller into his arms. "Okay, a one two three and:"
o/~Jiiiiro, You don't have to put on the greeen light, walk the streets with money, you don't care if I'm wrong or if I'm riiight, Jjjjjjiiiiro, You don't have to wear a dress tonight, seriously you're not even a girl, Jiiiiro ... o/~
Then back to Choi, "Okay, lets do the chorus, you sing the back up.. Jam on that guitar hero! JAM!"
This was not what Choi expected. I mean, the girl was certainly bouncing. But, something was wrong. Was she... was she nuts? Choi began to narrow down what the second drug was. Or maybe she needed medication? The rabbit began to worry Choi, and make him slightly hungry. Hunger and horny should not mix!
But then, she asks him to do backup. His grin faded into a confused look. Jaw slack, Choi just took the guitar, and mindlessly nodded his head. He didn't even know what he had in his hand. He started pushing buttons as the girl wailed over the microphone. And stared at her butt. And slowly, ever so slowly, it began to come to him that she called him a name. A Monkey?
The Korean growls, staring at Naerose's buttocks angerly. "Uh, h-hey! Wait a minute! I'm not a monkey..." And then, with the skill of a Tae-Kwon-Do master, he throws it right back at her. "...Unless it comes to making sweet love." And then, he pushes the buttons faster and more erratically! Hoo haa!
Naerose didn't think that any of that was part of the song, but on second though she didn't really know the lyrics anyway, but she was pretty sure she didn't usually sing about that sort of thing. After all, why make love when you can make cookies? The witch had yet to hear of a recipe for 'love' that you could actually eat. Though she has heard of people 'making love before'. Oh and if you thought any of that was internal, thoughts? No, Naerose actually said the entire paragraph more or less outloud. She gave a monologue.
"Totally fit the song," she says with a nod nod nod, of her head. Then she notices that Choi is totally jamming out on the buttons of the guitar hero controller.
"Wow, neat! I saw that on south park before you must be really close to one million points!"
She backs up and lets Choi make a fool of himself without her help. Generally speaking, she totally eclipses people trying to make fools of themselves.
Choi stops his rocking and stares at Naerose from behind his glasses. About halfway through his monologue, he finally shuts his mouth. When she is done, he opens his mouth again, trying to say something. He initially fails. He did hear rumors that gingers were nuts. This only proved the point further. He slowly worked through this change in path in his dirty little mind. Did this mean, well, what? South Park? What was wrong with this girl?
Choi was not used having to use his Tae-Kwon-Do so viciously with his pick-up lines. But she was just that elusive. It was like the Tai Chi of Cockblocks. Choi grips the Guitar tightly in one hand, and points a finger at her, trying to blow himself in a much bigger size. "So wait. That means you are a... A VIRGIN?" He stabs the guitar in the ground, using it to support his epic posing. "Then baby, I have something for you!"
Releasing the guitar, he lets it fall to the ground. He may be making a fool of himself, but by golly, there was a sexy naive girl on hand! The best kind in the world! And if she was this crazy now, the Korean couldn't help but imagine what would come later! He scurried right up to Naerose, violating what little personal space bubble she might have. Gripping her skirt for balance, the midget goes up on his tippy toes. He cupped his mouth, and began to whisper to her, explaining in intimidate detail how making love works. Maybe this would pique her curiosity!
The witch is totally like huh? She stares and scratches the side of her head as if Choi was totally insane, also, totally ruining the song. Then he starts whispering.
"Wait, so you.. and then you.. and then.." She says, while adjusting her shades with one hand. She's totally hear about this from somewhere, but what, what was it that she heard.
"Okay, so first you want to know if I like virgin olive oil? Yes. And making butter? Or something, cause you do this thing with this stick and then you churn this milk and.. You know what? You're really weird!" The witch exclaims and then frowns at the controller.
"So .. you're talkig about cooking right..? You're a cook? "
Either she didn't hear what he said or she denied it in her mind or she's totally out of her head. It's hard to tell? Actually most people polled would say it wasn't hard to tell at all.
Choi shakes his head, exasperated. "Well, I am a cook, well a butcher, but, uh, okay, lets try this again." Man, how could anyone with a body like that be so hard to crack open!? He obviously had to move down to middle school level. He takes off his hat, unleashing a flash of light. He digs around in the ratty old thing, and pulls out a pair of funny smelling sock puppets. One was a bright blue, while the other was a faded pink. Obviously, one is used far more than the other. Putting his hat back on, he puts a sock on each hand, and faces Naegare again.
Staring at her intensely, Choi begins to speak. "Okay, pay attention. Mr. Sock here likes Mrs. Stocking very much!" He raises the socks to emphasize the names. In a deep voice, he has the blue sock speak. "I love you, Mrs. Stocking!" And in a falsetto, he has the pink sock shakes up and down in the air in response. "I love you too, Mr. Sock!"
Choi returns to his normal voice. "Now, they love each other so much, they decide to 'make love.' Otherwise, have sexual intercourse." He taps the socks together, continuing his focused glare on Naegare. "Are you still with me?"
So wait, when Choi wants to explain intimacy to someone he starts to imagine Naegare? Which is the swimmer right? The.. male swimmer? Well if only Naerose knew that she would totally be like <|8D, but she doesn't know it so instead she's totally like ??? <|8I. She's eating a candy bar she got out of her hat for the duration of the sock puppet show. Then he asks her something and she blinks over the rims of her dark shades then fixes them back over her eyes.
"So... This is something your socks do? Or you do to your socks and you called it.. Stellar Interstate?" It isn't that noisy in here. She leans on her broom and really makes a show as if she's paying attention, but it's hard to tell when all you can see looking toward her eyes are the reflection from her shades.
"Wait, start all over again, So .. When Mrs. Is that Mrs or Ms?" The witch is totally confused.
NAEROSE! NAEROSE! Sorry, he spent so much time spelling Nagare, it is instinct! Choi was thinking of Naerose! And maybe Rose. And some extra virgin olive oil... In any case, the dwarf was beginning to think she was making fun of him. In some way. "Uh, uh, look, I am trying to say I want to do it with you. I mean, do you even know where babies come from? Not that I want to make babies. Oh jeeze, no. But I want to, well, look, do you want me to take you to a hotel- no, wait. Motel room and show you? You seem like a kinetic learner."
"Umm.. Hold on, I think I totally get where you're going with this. You want to MARRY ME?" The witch asks, and raises a brow sooo high that it shows up over the top rim of her shades, then she flushes a brilliant shade and clasps her hands together,
"OOooo but I don't even know your name yet, or your income, which I hope is high, oh my my my my, but where is the ring and the flowers and the party with the food?" She is totally in the clouds now,
"I havn't been married before, but I'm sure I could get a dress together, what's the date? did you pick a date? I hope it's tomorrow, I've heard the food is totally choice! Ever see wedding crashers? I didn't get much of what that movie was about, but there was all sorts of food, right right right? Free food? And rich people?" $$'s signs appear over her shades and a predatory look comes over her features which are fixed on Choi.
Run Choi, use your scrawny little legs!
Choi stares at the crazy red headed witch. Wait, hungry eyes? Maybe this was the sexy part! Was she finally getting sexy? Choi himself was beginning to get confused about the concept of sex. He stammers a bit, stepping back. "Um, uh, my name is Choi, but uh, well, uh, what is your name? I guess. I mean, no! Not married! Just sleeping together!" He states, countering his slowly growing fear.
"Now look here, toots! I don't know what game you are playing here, but my guess is that you are playing stupid! I bet you know what I mean, and if you don't want to sleep with me, just say it! I can handle rejection." He states, pouting and looking away. He pauses for a beat, and opens a single eye, glancing over at her. "Even from a pretty girl like you."
"Oh Oh oh , I accept! Your proposal of marriage, this is great, okay, lets see, do you have any friends? You need to invite them all and make your parents pay, or pay yourself, and you have money right? lots of Money? Oh we neeed to go tell Niesje, this will be such a big party." The Witch is allmost ignoring everything said to her right now, off in here own little world.
"Right so. Sleep .. sleep is good, I totally like to do that all the time, sometimes I sleep on the streets though and it's cold, hey do you bring a pillow with you everywhere too?" She's totally gushing.
"Where's my expensive ring?!! I'm pretty sure there is something a tradition about pawning."
Choi loses his nerve. Again. Slowly backing away, he looks shifty eyed. Wait, a homeless chick? He knew it. She was totally schizo, one of those crazy ladies that dance around in the streets. Choi could already smell the imaginary goofballs on her. Crazies were already too much for him to handle.
He looked over at the exit. He had to ditch her before she did something horrible. Like rape him! Nodding his head, he suddenly pointed Mr. Sock over at a point behind her. "Oh look, is that a money tree?" And he quickly bolts for the door, leaving Mrs. Stocking behind him. It was a noble sacrifice!
A sock? For all of her efforts.. She gets a sock? Well that just isn't good enough. The witch is totally like, no way. She looks at the sock, then at the exit. She walks over to the bar. Leans against it.
"So, that fella Choi is a regular here right? He said he's catch my tab tonight." She winks over the rim of her shades to the barkeep and wanders to the exit herself. Maybe he's still near by, he's GOT to be worth more than a sock.
Log created on 14:33:36 03/24/2008 by Choi, and last modified on 16:51:28 03/24/2008.