Description: Failastic cooking *Season Four, Cooking Special* Iron chef watch out! This is a chef, well line cook on that totally cooks on an iron grill and she really knows how to eat. What else does she need to challenge the greatest chefs? Talent? Nonsense !
"Hey, yeah, they totally don't!" The witch-chef exclaims while she starts going through the motions. There was meat, this part was easy, she knew she had to make meat balls and without a wiimote.
"Right," she says to herself and looks at the meat. No wiimote meant she had to use her hands as if she had a wiimote. She therefore starts trying to make a ball of meat. Not really sure how big to make she apparently errs on the side of OMGHUGE.
"So anyway, " she goes on conversationally. "So I decided to use ketchup as the industry standard." Indeed she apparently means the hat which was dyed with ketchup. It doesn't smell, which is good, but the dye job does.. sort of look like it was done with ketchup.
"Now lets see.." She has a big ball of meat. She puts it on the grilll. It sizzles.
"Oh hey, neat!"
Malin's patented 'oh dear' sensors are beginning to go off at this point. She'd done a variety of odd jobs in her time, and one of the things you didn't want to hear from your chef was 'hey neat!'. On the other hand. She was far too hungry to cook it herself. And didn't want to upset the girl. This was a girl who dyed her own hat. With ketchup. This is not the sort of person you want to upset.
Plus. She was a witch of some description. Possibly a ketchup witch. Malin doesn't want to be a bright red newt.
"Sooooo~" She says, conversationally, "How long have you been working here?" Just a casual question. She hoped. She's pretty good at hiding her emotions, but she /really/ doesn't want to get food poisoning before she gets to Metro City.
Naerose is in her twenties, which despite how she acts, is at least sort of looking to be her age. Or something. She needs a wiimote though and decides to use a spatula instead. The meat does not act how she expects it to, instead it sizzles in places and not in others, it doesn't seem to cook evenly. She tries smooshing and then realizes it is quite shapeable. She amuses herself with this for a moment and boy I bet you wish you could tell what she was doing.
"About ten minutes." replies the witch in a conversational tone,
"How long you been a customer here?" She asks. A better question might be how long do you expect her to work there for?
Malin hesitates for a moment, and checks her watch. "About fifteen minutes." She murmurs, a feeling of impending doom settling in over her. The girls face drops for a moment, but not for long, as she decides to move the conversation -away- from the topic of experience and practice, and on to... something a bit more cheerful.
"So... uh, is the other hat, like, just for show?" She asks, smiling brightly again, "I can do some pretty nifty magic tricks myself, you know. But... I never thought about getting a hat like that. What do you think, would it suit me?"
"Oh well see I'm totally a witch, And right here.. I have my trusty broom to prove it," replies Naerose, only too happy to go with the conversation where ever it happens to move.. any direction. The broom at least is real and the meat seems to be cooking? She flips it over,
"This is the wrong color, " she comments and then does something on the other side before saying, "That's better."
"So you can do magick tricks? Can you pull a rabbit out of your hat? " She asks, forgets about the meat and then the red chef-witch actually does pull a rabbit out of her hat. A small white rabbit whom struggles at being momentarily freed from his prison before being shoved back it and the hat shoved back on her head. . she has TERRIBLE hat head.
Malin hesitates for a moment, and blinks as a rabbit is produced from that hat. The girl shakes her head slowly, "I... can't do that one." She admits, looking around the diner for a moment. "Eh. Honestly, the people I work for don't like it if I show off my tricks too often. You know, it ain't good practice to let everyone know everything you are capable of, right?~"
She grins, hoping that she's not distracting the woman from cooking too much. She sits up a bit, hoping to get a slightly better view... but to no avail. This was all very mysterious. If she was a bit more educated, she'd consider it shrodingers burger! Was it going to be burnt? Was it going to be undercooked? Was it going to turn out okay? WHO CAN SAY?
Well. Hopefully Naerose. But Malin was expecting option number one if she kept distracting the cook with magic tricks.
The cooking is done. The witch then starts to whistle, produces a bun slaps the meat on there, already there is something wrong. She puts the fixings on, tomato. Ketchup, no cheese. No the cheese isn't what is wrong. What is wrong is the burger is for one, far to big, for two, it, like the tomato have been shaped, into that of a heart, and what color is a heart? Brown cooked and juicy? No. Red and gushing. No Naerose didn't make a beating heart burger, this one isn't gushing, but it is red. In part thanks to ketchup, in part thanks to seasoning and in part thanks to undercooked meat. She rings the bell to indicate the order is up, having seen it in about a million and a half movies, but the waitress who was standing there the whole time is just annoyed. Anyone can see the order is up.
"Right, I think it's time for a break." The witch decides to make herself a burger. Much to the annoyance of the other staff. . the real staff.
Malin inspects the burger carefully before she even considers eating it... and as she detects undercooked meat... the girl sighs. Sagging visibly. That wasn't good! Naerose might be a chirpy person to talk to... and a bit on the eccentric side... but a chef she was not. This was... not good. She didn't feel like eating badly cooked meat. But. She couldn't immediately think of a way out of the situation! ... And then it comes to her.
Carefully, the girl removes the burger, and sets it to one side. And then she inserts fries between the bun, and digs in! Hunger loses over making trouble for the woman she really sorta liked, so she might as well go with Backup Plan Number 3.
Naerose for her part eats the burger she cooks up for herself in under a second. It looks much like the one she gave Malin, but the outside is actually crisp meat, the inside is where she seems to have utterly failed to cook the meat properly, you can tell after she bites through it, unlike Malin though, Naerose is totally willing to eat undercooked meat along with anything else.
"Excsue me" >:|
"Yes boss?" Naerose asks.
"Fired." >:|
"Awwww!" cries the witch.
A moment later and one less job she is sitting next to Malin and slouching,
"Drat, that's my fifth job today!"
Meanwhile the staff goes about making Malin another burger, a real one this time. The witch doesn't sulk for long either, instead she goes,
T%"Hey, you gonna eat that?" to the patty that Malin seems to have decided not to eat.
Malin hesitates for a moment, staring at Naerose as she bemoans her lot and, well, is fired. For the fifth time, today, apparently. That's an impressive amount of jobs to go through. Not to mention the womans appetite. And the fact she... really didn't seem to /care/ that Malin was completely ignoring the poorly cooked burger. "Uh... no, sure, go ahead, I don't mind?" She asks, staring at the witch in... mild shock.
Geez... are /all/ Americans this crazy?!
Naerose doesn't mind either, she takes the offered meat and downs that as well. The staff meanwhile, with the unpaying costumer seem only not to throw her out because she's talking to the paying costumer, how quickly things change for the red witch, who still has her chef's hat on.
"You know, cooking isn't actually that much fun, here you can have this."
The witch takes off the hat and sets it on the counter near to Malin,
"I'm Naerose, by the way, and I'm totally a witch, whats your name, do you have a good job, what do you do?" She fires off the questions like a machine gun, pulls out a note pad and starts to take notes with a red crayon.
"I'm also a freelance reporter," she explains.
"Uh... huh." She says, before straightening up a bit. She squirrels the red chefs hat about her person (well, you never know when something like that might come in handy! And puts on her best cocky grin. The girl gives a mock salute to Naerose, "Well. Heck. In that case, I better give you the scoop of the century!" She declares, pushing her plate to one side and turning to face the woman a bit more directly.
"The name's Malin!" She declares, "And I'm the next big thing to hit the fighting circuit! Me and my organization, who I can't name for legal reasons, are going to go and kick some butt in Metro City! We're going to clear out those Mad Gear thugs, and then we're going to work our way through the rest of the organized crime circuit! You can put my name to that, just leave it to Malin, right?"
She grins brightly, winking to the older woman. Well. She didn't have a clue if this was going to wind up anywhere. But the /vague/ chance that Naerose wasn't a complete loon and might get her some publicity was worth taking. She didn't often get to speak to reporters, after all.
"Gotcha, " The witch says and then continues to mark down stuff, though for a moment she seems lost in some thought, you can totally see the light bulb over her head.
"Hey wait, Mad Gear, I totally know one of those fellas," The witch exclaims and then grins broadly. She pulls out a red razr from her hat and opens it, turns on voice activated mode.
"Call Katana," she says,
It replies: "Did you mean Cat in the hat?"
"No," says the witch.
It replies: "Did you mean, Jerry's all you can eat buffet?"
"No! I said call Katana!" exclaims the witch.
It replies: "We're sorry, but we did not catch that, please try again."
She closes the phone in some frustration, " Oh well, this is gonna be great! The scoop of the century. I just gotta tray down some peeps from old skool days."
Malin brightens even more at that... and she doesn't let her enthusiasm get diminished at all by the utter lack of success on the womans part thus far! If there is one word Malin doesn't like, it's pessimism. It was always possible that Naerose really -could- get a message to Katana. Which would really make her day.
"YEAH!" She declares suddenly, "Get in contact with that Katana guy. Let him know that me and my organization, we're going to come down there and totally beat him up! He doesn't have a chance! Him and his gang of thugs, by the time we're through, the whole lot of them are going straight to jail!"
And, suddenly, she's standing on top of her chair, "We can't stand idly by and let the good people of Metro City suffer under the heel of some deluded madman! We're going to take out the trash, and that's all that Mad Gear really is, rowdy trash! WHO'S WITH ME?!"
Well. She sure has the few other patrons staring at her. Not... -too- energized by her dramatic speech, however.
Wow, this Malin person is totally serious, she gets Naerose all revved up and the witch is totally like, caught up in the moment.
"I'm like, totally with you to the end!" exclaims the witch. Though it doesn't seems to exactly work with the fact that in order to call someone on a razr with voice activated like that, they'd have to be on her contact list, and if Katana is on her contact list, that would be like weird right? Well no one seems to notice this, well at least Naerose isn't saying anythign and Malin is too busy being way into what else is going on.
"I'm so with you that I'm totally gonna stand on a table too!" And she does.
"Hey.." >:|
" Yea Boss?" asks Naerose, on a table.
"Out." >:|
"IEeee! That's like the tenth restaurant I've been kicked out of today!"
She is totally thrown out by the manager. But that doesn't stop her from pressing her face to the glass (with her shades on) and giving Malin the thumbs up.
Malin considers her options for a moment. Well. She could stay and try and get more food. OR she could also leave, and stand in solidarity with her witchy fan! ... And considering there was still a slim chance she might be able to get publicity from this, that's exactly what she decides to do.
"HEY!" She declares loudly, as Naerose is thrown out of the restaurant. "Not cool! You should be ashamed! It's the right of any free woman to peacefully protest! I'm totally out of here!"
And indeed, she is. Striding from the restaurant as though she's just too cool to care. She returns the thumbsup to Naerose with a cocky grin.
"So! You call your contacts, and I'll get on the way to Metro City, 'kay?"
And inside... it's starting to dawn on the (real) staff that Malin... hasn't left a dime to cover her food.
"Yeah yeah, just how to get to Metro, you know? It's expensive. I er.." She considers a moment,
"I guess I could get a flight to the capitol seven casinos.. They're good about that sort of stuff." She sets her broom so as to sit on it, one end on the ground, one end in her hand, so it is at an angle. While 'sitting' on it. Somehow this doens't seem physically possible. That doesn't bug the witch and for the moment, gravity doesn't complain either.
"Oh hey, can I put you in my phone too?"
Malin stares at the broomstick trick, but only for a moment. She wasn't one to talk about 'unlikely' tricks, after all. She had that giant hammer tucked away about her person, after all. The girl nods, however. "Sure." She states, pulling a bright pink mobile phone from her person, she opens it up, "Give me your number? I'll text you, and then we can both get in contact if we have to!"
She grins, then. "And as for getting to Metro. Well. My organization is sorting me out... I don't think I'd be able to swing a trip for you, too, though. They are a bit twitchy about outsiders."
Log created on 13:38:21 03/03/2008 by Naerose, and last modified on 08:53:46 04/26/2008.