Description: In light of recent events, Frei decides to step up Kentou's training in the art of chi, since the knowledge may soon be necessary. Taking a huge risk, the monk puts everything on the line to prove to Kentou that this is within his grasp... and to show him that more than power or strength, it's will and belief that are the strongest forces of all... ("The Moon's Three Treasures", Interlude)
It came Wednesday afternoon, delivered swiftly. After all, mail within the city moves pretty fast. Nothing fancy; in fact, it's a tiny white envelope about the size and shape of a thank you card, and inside is a plain blue paper card with a glued-on cutout of a paper crane. The inside is simple: Kentou's name, a time and a place, and -- of all things -- a red calligrapher's mark bearing a family name, 'Tsukitomi'. Could it be a challenge from Kataki? Or some mysterious missive from Frei?
The :) drawn next to the calligrapher's mark probably answers that question.
The appointed time is late afternoon, and the appointed place is the half-ruined shrine outside Southtown. The YFCC just isn't private enough for this, in Frei's mind. To him, this is someting nearly ceremonial in execution, a moment of connection between master and student that doesn't need to be sullied by onlookers. Thus the hint of secrecy, the somewhat formal 'invitation', and all that rot.
Frei himself stands just outside the shrine, in gently falling snow which drifts down from a sky that's a sheet of slate grey overhead, giving enough light to see but not enough to brightly illuminate; interestingly enough, Frei lit candles on the outside of the shrine. He's not dressed for the cold, or at least no more than he ever is; the day is actually fairly gentle for there to be snow, but a light wind blows the tails of his russet-colored headband out behind him. Hiking shoes instead of sandals are a must even though the accumulation is fairly light.
The monk's eyes are closed, as if he's lost in thought... and in truth, he is. This is something he's seen done only once: to him, by his old master. The result was so surprising to both of them that it was the reason that Frei was able to become the Master's student in the first place. He doesn't expect that strange result to happen a second time, but he does know what the process is going to be like for poor Kentou, who is probably too young for this sort of thing... and he wonders if he's really advanced far enough to pull this off without doing the boy longterm harm.
hat :) is held aloft to be carefully viewed once more. As the blue card drifts downward, details of the new environment beyond emerge.
Puzzled mousy eyes spy the austere shrine as his off-hand rubs the back of his head, the gesture making his long braids dance along his back.
A lot of people have been summoning him lately! First it was Jiro, and that ended up with a trip to the hospital.
Proving that Pavlov didn't know what he was talking about, Kentou decided to give the nondescript summons yet another whirl. That and, while Kentou hardly ever uses Frei's family name, he is aware of it. The smiley-face gave away its true identity! Something about Kataki certainly didn't scream 'Internet Lingo'.
Not that Kentou is computer saavy, not by a long shot, but its hard to live in Japan and not know how kids punctuate their messages these days. ._.
However! Kentou's guess proves justified as he spies Frei standing in stark relief to the shrine beyond. Eyes brightening as the boy hastens his pace, Chinese slippers dividing the snow as he moves to his Instructor's side.
The boy is dressed.. much as he always is. Kentou is hardly ever seen outside of his Kenpo uniform, as is tradition for his family while training. No matter the in-climate weather or conditions. Of course, the fact that the boy virtually always wears it speaks volumes about how often he trains. In fact, he's supposed to be bare foot as well. Even in the snow.
However, due to a gift from his dear friend Yurika.. He makes an exception from time to time. ...Especially as his toes get really, really darn cold in the snow. Brr.
At first the boy approaches the Monk with a casual glee, having gotten used to Frei's informality. However, as more details of this place make themselves know.. The boy's progress slows. Gaze falling over the lit candles nearby before turning at last to the contemplative Frei, luminous eyes reflecting the glinting lights below.
Making no sound to disturb the Monk's concentration, the boy awkwardly bows after a fashion.. Almost forgetting himself in this unusual circumstance. Sword in Sheath.
Frei can sense him approach. On the one hand, that's not hard even for someone who's like a paperweight when it comes to life energy; snow makes noise when you walk in it, for example. Anybody with keen senses -- and fighters usually have them -- would know it. But the monk is also fortunate enough that he can sense the sudden shift in energy patterns that means a living being is approaching. He's not so good that he could identify Kentou by his spiritual presence, but it's certainly good enough for a dramatic entrance.
Opening his eyes as Kentou comes to a halt and bows, Frei gives the young boy a wan smile, bringing a hand up to collar-level and waving it back and forth a little bit in greeting. He's never been one for bowing... perhaps a personal flaw, but the monk's belief in the absolute equality of human beings means he has a really nasty problem with authority. At leas that hasn't come back to haunt him on more than a token level in his lifetime. So far.
"Sorry for the unorthodox message," the monk begins, drifting the hand that was briefly waving up and brushing it through his dark red hair a bit, suddenly looking off to the side... at what? There really is *nothing* here except the candlelight shrine and the falling snow, but just because there's no physical objects out there doesn't mean that there's nothing to look *at*. "I didn't want to do this at the Center. It's... sort of personal, for me as well as for you." Is that apology in his tone?
Turning his head back toward Kentou, the monk ducks down a bit by bending his legs, so he can look the young fighter in the eye. Frei's green-eyed gaze has an intensity to it little seen in the normally placid chi scholar, though it's not exactly overwhelming... more that he wants to drive the point home. "You don't have to do this. It's... it's the first time I've tried it, actually. Something my master did before I started with him. I can still teach you anything you want without it, and it might hurt. Kentou, I want you to be sure this is what you want before we start. Okay?"
That.. And Kentou is not the most subtle of people. Silent sneaking is certainly not his forte. That isn't to say Kentou is loud and obnoxious, at least too much, especially compared with the other youth of Southtown. Simply, masking his presence is rarely an objective. It's only Hotaru-Sensei and Instructor Frei who've inspired enough reverence where he'll make special efforts to avoid disturbing their thoughts.
The boy exhales slowly in his bowed posture, prepared to wait there for a looooong time if need be. Perhaps even.. whole minutes!
Amazingly, hardly any time was required at all as Frei opens his eyes. The boy straightens from his bow and stands at attention. Reflecting the dim smile as it was offered, even if his chocolate eyes hold a measure of confusion over this rendezvous.
Upon a time, when Hotaru summoned him to the Church Yard, the boy thought he was about to be party to some secret spiritual training by a hidden order of monks!
Its ironic that only when his childish imagination has been cooled by the realities of real training... Does he come to realize his previous assessment isn't far from the truth here.
The fact that Frei could pass as a foreigner goes a long way towards helping excuse his lapse of social protocol. As is, he manages to come across as being rude in a haa-haa-hee-hee sort of way, and certainly Kentou finds no insult with him.
To the apology, Kentou waits patiently. His attention perking with the drifting words and thoughts.. His eyes following Frei's own as it drifts to the side, curiosity knowing few boundaries as it is definitely piqued.
As the Monk meanders towards the point, only then does a measure of realization dawn in Kentou's eyes.
Thoughts going back to their last meeting, after Hotaru had nearly broken him. Accelerated training.. trying something.. risky?
"..H..Hai.. Instructor Frei.." Kentou acknowledges his warning and apology in a single hesitating reply.
Frei's question, in addition, is most excellent. IS this what Kentou wants? He would be lying if he said anything for certain.
The boy knows that if he does not unlock this part of him.. Of his potential.. He may never be more than he already is. Fast, strong, cunning.. But only that. He's come a long way, Kentou has. More than just a martial artist out of a corner dojo making a buck in amateur street fights. But if he truly wishes to distinguish himself, his family art, this is something he needs to do. His own father never mastered Chi, mostly because the Ondori style states it is unnecessary. That Chi is wholly internal, and external uses are simply inefficient and wasteful. 'Charlatans' his Father called those energy hurlers once.. Whatever that word means.
That was before he met Hotaru. That was before she showed him that its use is not wasteful. Just as Frei showed him that it was indeed an art and a skill to master, not vulgar effluence.
That said, it is a talent that has not come easily to the boy. And he can't help but worry that forcing the issue may make it worse. What if he isn't ready? What if he really ISN'T meant to use it?
The boy doesn't fear pain nearly as much as he fears failure.
But this is Frei. Hotaru-sensei said that Frei can help him. She trusts him. Over time Kentou has learned to trust him. ... And that's good enough for Kentou.
"Hai!" Kentou finally replies. That previous halting, hesitation cleansed from his voice. He will do this and he will do his best, no matter what!
For a moment, a brief one, Frei's gaijin-quality emerald gaze continues its sweep over Kentou's features, as if trying to drill some iota of hidden uncertainty or fear out of it. He finds none, which actually surprises the monk somewhat. Of course, Frei's view on fear is slightly different than the norm; he views it as a potentially positive thing, something that makes people aware of their current limitations. But he knows Kentou to be a brave and driven boy. Driven by what, isn't clear... but in the end that's not exactly relevant, is it? Passion is powerful... Alma's shown Frei that.
There's a rustling sound as Frei stands back up, and again the somewhat tired smile drifts back onto his face. "This is... I guess you might call it a 'shortcut', but it isn't, really. It's... an illustration." There's a moment, again, where Frei's gaze drifts off, but this time it's obvious: he's looking west, toward China, where this lesson was taught to him, so many years ago. Memories flood back and it's impossible to stop his eyes from watering at the thought, the stress of recent days finally cracking even Frei's practiced, balanced evenness.
For a moment or two there's silence, and then Frei turns back to Kentou. "When I first met my master, I barely knew what chi was. Musou Tenkei... the family style... has no spiritual element, after all. It was all technical. But I'd studied religion and spirituality for so long, I knew there was... something. Some vital force. I just didn't know its name. I could FEEL it, though. I just couldn't... do anything with it. Whenever I tried, I failed. So... my master decided to try something rare, something that would kickstart my understanding."
Spreading out one hand to his side, holding his hand out palm up to catch snowflakes. However, soon after he does so, a haze of white ice crystals dances around his forearm in a double helix, lazily, reflecting the candlelight from the shrine in the darkening field like tiny prisms. "You already know that visible manifestations... they're your will imposed on the chi around you. But your 'will' is a reflection of the 'self'... and if you don't know your 'self', how can you ever weave your 'will' into the world?" In a flash, the ice disappears, and Frei turns to look at Kentou again with a kind expression. "It's like trying to paint when you can't see the brush in your hand. Some people come to it naturally... over time they find a way, and many martial arts styles have a way. Other people sense it intuitively. Given time, I bet you would too. But you know, I never did? After all that time... I was such a failure at it. I couldn't see. So my Master showed me, and that's what... I'm going to show you."
Smiling, Frei finally turns and squares off with Kentou at a reasonable distance, perhaps arms length away, and brings his hands to his chest in a Tai Chi pose, breathing out slowly. "Are you ready?"
Driven by what, indeed. But driven Kentou most certainly is. Driven enough to leap into the unknown on the say-so of his trusted friends and mentors.
A fact that the boy demonstrates in the here and now as he stands firm. Not proudly or boldly, as enough tension fills his slight frame to communicate a level of caution, but firm none-the-less.
One thing that Kentou is most wary of is the mention of a 'shortcut'. Only Frei's immediate backpedaling on the term prevents Kentou from visibly balking. The boy doesn't believe in shortcuts. 'The hard way is the only way,' His Father told him once. A truism that has only been confirmed with time. His training with Hotaru has been the hardest he's ever done in his entire life. The fights he's been in in the last few months have been bone-crushing and body-breaking. In the aftermath of all that, Kentou has never been stronger.
Avoiding shortcuts has always served him well, and the youth doesn't see a need to start using them now. However! As Frei better explains the truth of this exercise, the boy begins to realize his knee-jerk reaction was off-base.
While the boy wonder does not follow Frei's gaze this time... He knows precisely where he's looking. Kentou, himself, has never visited his Grandmother's homeland. But the spirit of the Middle Kingdom and its teachings are still felt in him. Dilute and generations removed now.. But still a tangible presence in his life.
At first, Kentou's eyes grow concerned at Frei's sudden surge of emotion. Nearly moved enough to break decorum and ask the young Monk what's wrong.. Only for Frei to recover on his own and explain a bit more of what precisely is on his mind.
Ah.. The Old Master. The one whom taught Frei the 'Old Chinese Magic'.. A favored description the boy uses for Frei's arts. It is fitting, after all. Whether or not Frei approves of it!
The mention of 'Musou Tenkei' piques Kentou's curiosity. Family style? The boy.. vaguely remembers that Frei's family studied something different, but he had yet to hear the specifics of that philosophical divergence. Hearing them now.. The youth finds himself very intrigued.
It is, after all, not terribly unlike Kentou's own family art. ...Maybe they're far more similar than the boy had first imagined. Perhaps Frei was likewise locked into this same kind of.. incomprehension of the spiritual before he was unlocked in some fashion.
The boy tries to follow Frei's logic. Mentally repeating the words 'Will' and 'Self' in his thoughts over and over, hoping the blunt repetition will force some kind of breakthrough. While the words make sense, and Frei so easily demonstrates the principle right before Kentou's observant eyes.. Making that happen.. from concept to execution.. Something is missing. Some logic or process he cannot describe or understand. Indeed, if he could describe or understand it.. It probably wouldn't be such a problem.
And on that though.. Frei offers to fill in the missing piece. The same way that his Old Master showed him. A handicap.. Perhaps..
But is this not the very notion that Hotaru told him was important? That taking on the strengths of other arts, styles and philosophies is the key to gaining true strength? Incorporate rather than disassociate. Include rather than exclude. It is not weakness to accept help or use a focusing technique. If anything.. that may be the soul of art itself.
The tension in the boy's limbs slowly eases as he takes a deep breath. Eyes closing for a moment as he exhales with a deep, cleansing breath.
Kentou's eyes reopen with clarity, "I'm ready."
He's ready. Frei nods in response to the statement, carefully expressionless. There's no real reason to doubt Kentou, after all, but the monk has to deal with the vestiges of his own doubt. Is this the right thing to do? Will it really give Kentou something he needs, something he can use... or is he going to end up changing him, like Hotaru was apparently changed? And that's if the process even works. Kentou isn't exactly at serious risk; the worst that might happen is that he feels pain for a while. Yet there is a certain enormity to the decision, either way.
But didn't he just tell Kentou that 'will' is important? And 'will' is just another word for 'faith'... believing that something can be done, believeing that you have the ability to make something happen. Strength of the spirit. Briefly Frei closes his eyes, takes a slow, cleansing breath. If he doubts, then this entire exercise is for nothing. For Kentou, that faith is easy to place... for Frei, an adult, it's harder. Real life erodes your ability to exercise faith, constantly gives you situations where that faith is counteracted, contravened, called foolish.
But that means adults with strong faith have had to overcome that... and Frei has.
"You're going to have to do a lot of... imagining while we do this," Frei says quietly, flexing the fingers on his right hand. "It's... memories. Powerful memories call up powerful emotions, and they help change your frame of mind. Not all of it's going to be pleasant... but I think you're strong enough to do it." Closing his eyes, he puts out his right hand, palm outward, toward Kentou but stops it a few inches from actually touching him. There's no glow, no change, no sparkly lights... as if he's pressing against some glass barrier between himself and the young fighter.
"Close your eyes," Frei says evenly, "and think of... the saddest memory you have."
It is easy for Kentou. Far easier, because for the youth trusting others comes easily, especially trusting Frei. He indeed has faith that Frei knows precisely what he's doing. Even if the man has doubts, the boy believes in him.
The youth remains at the ready, having no real idea what this entails the boy is tense and ready to spring at a moment's notice.
Wrestling bears? Fighting ninjas?! Doing battle with evil spirits!?
…Imagination won't be much of a problem.
The youth nods slowly, wide eyes betraying a measure of confusion but he remains patient. Letting Frei come to the fullness of his first order as he listens.
Memories?
The boy's eyes cross as the palm is held to his brow, feeling the gesture to be a little weird but he still does not question. Eyes close as he then..
A frown plays over his face, "I.."
Kentou very nearly blurts out 'I can't do that' by reflex alone. He's spent a very, very long time trying to get over his saddest memory. In some ways he probably still isn't over it. Revisiting that is nearly too high a price to pay. He does what he does to avoid sadness, to heal. Not to reopen old wounds.
But Frei knows what he's doing.. The boy trusts him. This has a purpose.. It has a point..
The boy's lips press together tighter. Eyes shifting beneath his closed lids as the image is allowed to come.
Kentou, years younger, standing at a hospital bedside. His mother's cooling fingers held in his small hands.
His father.. isn't there.
There it is.
There's an entire half of this meeting of individuals that only Frei is seeing, the subtle shifts in Kentou's aura when he focuses intently on that memory. It's not like the 'aura' that Alma or Shurui might see; that is something complex and unique to them, much more about the soul of the individual than their personal energy. But chi responds to emotions, and a person's aura field is tied to their chi... it's barely visible even to Frei, and he was specially trained to look for it. The pitch and yaw of yin and yang, the shifts they bring about. Sadness makes yin dominant, because yin is the energy of negativity. It's one half of the equation, but it's an important half... and one Frei asked Kentou to do first for a reason.
"I'm sorry to ask you this, Kentou," he whispers faintly, a silvery glow flickering around his outstretched hand for a moment. Yin and yang... two forces, and once you master those two forces, anything is possible. "Remember, that sadness makes us stronger in the end. The joy you can feel today is built on the pain of yesterday." For a moment, the silver glow around Frei's hand flickers as his concentration wavers, suddenly caught by memories of his own childhood... and the realization that whatever went down before, might be responsible for now.
It doesn't take long. "Now... think about... your happiest memory. When you felt you could never be any happier in your whole life."
Kentou's head bows a fraction beneath Frei's sensing palm. A single pair of tears roll down his cheeks as his thoughts revisit the most single most crushing moment of his entire life. Terrible, staggering loss that never fails to break his spirit anew if his thoughts ever return to it.
At Frei's gentle apology, the boy shakes his head precisely once. A toss of denial both for Frei's words as well as his own feelings. Dwelling in regret and pain is something Kentou decided long ago that he will never do again. Before he met Hotaru, he swore to himself that he would never go backwards. That the loss of his Mother wouldn't be an event holding him back from living on.
The pain of yesterday, indeed, has found a measure of closure in the joy of today.
Nowhere in Kentou's life is this more evident than the day where Hotaru promised to take Kentou to be her apprentice.
The youth's eyes open a fraction, the wetness washing away with tears of a different flavor. It was immediately after his inglorious debut in the Saturday Night Fight. The boy had, on national television for millions to see, fled from Blanka after leaving that lout Katana to be crushed on his own against the monstrous gorilla-man. Just when the boy had reached his low and started to question just how much of a career he should make out of this fighting business… Hotaru was there.
Hotaru gave him a new lease on life. She took him under her wing and gave him hope when it was all but gone. A wonderful moment that has only magnified over the months as he has grown so tremendously and met so many wonderful people. Frei. Mizuki. And just a day ago, Sakura. All things that are good in his life he owes to Hotaru, and that brings him more happiness than he had ever known before in all his days.
It's reassuring to feel that sudden shift, that change that means Kentou is able to move from his saddest to his happiest memory. Doing one before the other is important, because one extreme calls the other. The deep sadness of the worst thing you've ever felt is matched by the soaring joy of your happiest moment. And if one has the skill to see it, the aura responds in accordance. The deepest yin power, the strongest yang 'glow'... the extremes draw a border, describe the boundaries and the silhouette. That's step one, and the orange-gold glow around Frei's palm confirms it. There's not much of a different feeling, as he hasn't really done anything to Kentou just yet.
The hardest part, after all, is yet to come.
"Good... you're doing great," Frei says reassuringly, opening his eyes. "Now is the hard part, though... the part that's going to hurt, the part you can't just walk away from when we start. Open your eyes," he says, less command and more request. And in fact, if Kentou's gaze strays to the monk, now he has *both* hands, palm out, pointed at Kentou... one glowing faint gold, the other faint silver. His green eyes are serious as he looks at the young fighter, looking right at his eyes even if Kentou doesn't meet his gaze or open his eyes.
"This is the last chance to stop. I need to know this is what you want first. There's no going back afterwards... in a lot of ways." His eyes become heavy-lidded for a moment. "The first time my master did this, I couldn't take it. So don't feel bad if you need to stop."
The monk has only made two requests and Kentou is already feeling a bit like he's been through a wringer.
Breathing more quickly, eyes gleaming with wetness as they open in full at Frei's bidding.
Seeing the man's serious gaze, seeing the heterochromatic glow just above his eyes and feeling more than a little emotionally distraught.. Pangs of fear well up within him.
He isn't sure about this. The boy doesn't fully understand what's happening and if Frei, himself, said he couldn't take this when he started.. What chance does HE have?
Kentou's lips part silently, very nearly calling it there. He needs more training! He needs more time! He needs to understand this better.. He..
Kentou isn't a coward!
The thought shoots through his mind like a bolt of lightning. Maybe he won't succeed, maybe he will fail. But Kentou will -try-. He'll do his best, he'll face this down to whatever end.
As Kentou's resolve wells up within him, his jaw sets firmly while deeply inhaling. Summoning the strength he had when he first started this exercise as he looks emerald eyes dead on, "Lets do it."
There's a pause, and then Frei smiles gently at Kentou. "You're not like me," he says quietly, but fervently. "You were born to this. I wasn't, not really." He pauses, thinking back to a childhood of study of the sword. Why did he do it? Or rather, why did he stop? At first, it was because he genuinely liked it, it was interesting and fun... and then later on because he wanted to be close to his mother, especially after his father died. But then even that wasn't enough... after a while, it was too much. So he ran away. Kentou didn't; Kentou found something he loved and strove to be a part of it with all his being.
And if he hadn't, the monk wouldn't be bothering to do this.
"I don't want to tell you too much... because if you're focusing on trying to figure it out, you might not be able to focus," Frei begins, trying to be up front and honest about things. "But everyone has an 'aura'... a barrier between the outside world and the chi that's inside your body, the life force. It's very, very hard to cross that barrier. No fighter ever really does it because they're interested in hurting the body. But it can be done... and the chi that's behind it, is 'your' chi... your 'will'. I'm... going to push through, and bring some of that essence out."
Closing his eyes for a second, Frei thinks back to when this was done to him. Twice, in fact. The memories are not all pleasant, even if they led to something good afterwards. The momentary twinge in his features, however, suggests that the memories are worse than just physical pain... but it's brief and fleeting, like the flicker of moonlight on a cloudy night.
"This is going to hurt. But... you need to fight back. Focus your whole being into trying to stop me. Believe it or not, if you don't, it won't work. Okay? I believe in you, Kentou." And with that... he starts. The physical motion is simple: he pushes both glowing hands forward to Kentou's chest. Or at least, he tries; before he can make actual contact, it's like he hits some sort of invisible wall that suddenly flares with sparks of silver and gold. Yin and yang... applying them like a crowbar, like trying to get under the scales of armor... finding the weak link Kentou's resistance will make clear for *just long enough* to exploit it. And the pain... is pretty brutal. It starts INSIDE the body rather than out, like something within is being pressed against by a heavy weight...
Kentou is not like Frei, nor is Frei like Kentou. They are wholly their own people, meeting life on their own terms and with their own talents. It is what makes them strong.
This is not to say that there is nothing Kentou can learn from Frei. No, understanding Frei and how he had come to terms with his own life.. and how he continues to.. can give insight in how Kentou can better come to grips with his own.
While this exercise is not what the boy had in mind, perhaps facing his old pains once more really is something he needed. Even if it was not what he wanted.
As Frei begins to explain a little more of what about to pass, the boy can't help but smile a little at the first sentence. Indeed! Kentou does tend to focus so hard on the problem at hand that.. He sorta ignores the actual point of it. A problem he's repeatedly brushed against in Frei's prior teachings. As such, he is certainly not insulted! If anything, he can't help but smile about how well Frei has come to know him and how he thinks. That said.. He tries to understand.
Aura. That.. That sounds important. It also sounds like where pain might be involved. While infinitely more complex, the process sounds not unlike drawing blood to test its properties.
Although.. As Frei then states that if he cannot STOP the Monk from fulfilling his technique, he will fail?
But.. but.. How? Does he parry? Does he quickly block those palms? Does he strike Frei fast enough to keep him from .. whatever he's doing?
Focus his Being to try and stop him? Using only… what? Thoughts? Willpower? Willpower doesn't stop energy blasts from bowling him over in fights! … Does it?
Which is when Frei applies his hands to an indetermined space from Kentou.. And begins to boil him alive.
Kentou issues a sharp squawk of surprise, eyes widening as he -fights- the urge to simply lunge and clobber Frei with the defensive techniques he's spent months perfecting and making a part of him. Besides, its far too late for that. Whatever this technique is.. Its inside him already.. It feels like its tearing him apart.
Kentou's hands lift at his sides.. Caught between reactions as his expression tightens. What is he supposed to do?! The boy just strains. Tensing all his muscles, holding his breath and scrunching is ribcage as closed as he can make it. His skin turning flush with effort, hoping that perhaps if he tightens every muscle in his body he can keep himself from being pulled apart. A physical reaction.
…Which pantomimes a more spiritual one. Frei can all but feel Kentou's aura roiling, directionless beneath his reflexive gestures of defense. Reacting to Frei's invasion but without coordination. Like a blind-man flailing at an unseen attacker.
Frei doesn't seem too concerned. Kentou's initial response is expected, because the assault isn't something he knows. It's not something most fighters know because they never experience it. A fighter is looking to cause physical damage in a fight, after all... causing injury or fatigue. Attacking someone's vital power is both too difficult to be useful and too futile to be worth it. After all, internal chi is constantly replenishing; the pain might be brutal, but good luck getting to where Frei is right now in an actual fight. If this were a real battle Kentou would have clobbered the monk by now, and rightly so.
But this doesn't mean Frei's not showing any effort, either. His face is beaded with perspiration, eyes blazing with the need to focus, voice loud to overcome the rushing sound of blood in his ears as he throws his effort into it. "Block out the pain! I know it hurts, but you can push through. You have to fight back!" The glow around his hands intensifies but becomes increasingly erratic the brighter it gets. Thankfully the pain doesn't get greater in intensity, but it is *unrelenting*, confusing in coming from everywhere.
But he has to believe that this can work.
"Kentou... listen to me..." the monk continues through clenched teeth. The aura is powerfully subconscious, controlled by the part of the body that separates the 'self' from the world outside. Which isn't to say that if the barrier's broken that Kentou would lose his sense of self; that's the province of powers different than chi. But the result wouldn't be pretty, and thus the body fights back. "Kentou, faith and belief are the most powerful thing in the world. Power, strength, speed, knowledge... none of those make any difference if you don't have the will to use them! I know you have the will... but you have to focus it! Believe in yourself!"
How in the..
Who's to say this isn't a real battle? For Kentou, this is a fight in all the ways that matter even if the rules are not what he's used to.
He fights to prove himself, to understand himself, to make connections with others. Fists may not be traded here, but it is a real contest even if it is not what Kentou has trained himself to deal with.
Or has he?
As Frei strains and brings blazing waves of agony through the boy's limbs, Kentou's body shakes under the stresses. A muffled scream erupts through clenched teeth as his eyes close tightly, squeezing out tears anew.
Have to remember. Have to think. Have to listen.
Every lesson with Frei and many with Hotaru flash through his mind in the desperation of trying to draw last-second wisdom from them. All of his emotions, the full range of them have been searched and studied. He needs something immaterial he can focus upon.. Something he can invoke with his will. That he can channel and vector his metaphysical being into.
The will.. the focus. Focus.. Believe! Have courage.
..Have courage..
Kentou won't back down. He'll give it everything he's got. That's his will, that's the depth of his courage. Its a feeling, an emotion that gives him refuge even in the midst of blinding pain and his own muffled shrieks of agony echoing in his ears.
"..I b..bel.." The boy forces himself to whisper from clenched teeth.
The silver and gold power.. budges. A resistance.. a concerted resistance. Faint.. barely there.. But his aura just barely started to shift against the incoming pressure. A feeling, an emotion, rallying the youth's spirit against its invader..
The flash in Frei's eyes is almost visible.
There.
In that one moment, that one perfect moment, Kentou does what he needs to do: he focuses his will. Belief, will, faith, mental power, emotions... the connection has never been clear. There's no science that links brain chemistry to chi control, at least not that Frei knows of... perhaps NESTS does, somewhere in their recesses of vast information on how energy can be controlled. But on a spiritual level, it's obvious. If you want to fight off this sort of assault -- REALLY fight it, make the pain stop -- you have to push out with ALL of your being. It brings things to the surface that might otherwise stay buried.
That's when Frei strikes. His hands turn inward, palms facing together, and the pain -- for just a moment -- becomes INCREDIBLY sharp. The silver and gold light flicker, then vanish... and then the backlash hits. There's a massive burst of air that flows backwards through the link. The sleeves of Frei's shirt are shredded instantly; his headband splits in the center and flutters off into the snow behind him, which explodes outward in a cloud of white. Frei, for his part, shouts inarticulately.
And then, as quick as it came, it's over.
The pain and the pressure are gone, as is the lightshow... except for Frei's hands, cupped in front of him as if holding a wounded bird, smiling at Kentou. The place where his headband fluttered away is marked with a faint trickle of blood, but Frei is smiling. "Hold out your hands," he says simply, radiating pride.
As the technique reaches its culmination, Kentou's last shout melts into the same audible explosion of Frei's own shout and the blast of atmosphere rushing away!
The boy's bangs flail outwards in the breeze, his body topples backwards. Falling not from the pain, but the jolting -release- from that agony. His legs lose their strength as the youth crashes to the snow-covered sacred grounds upon his rump. A hand quickly planting behind to keep him from going prone.
For several moments, the boy just -breathes-. His eyes wide as the memories of that horrible pain echo in his thoughts. Fingertips moving to his lips and beneath his nose, lifting to examine the crimson he finds there. The mind and the body are intertwined, after all. Pain the spirit feels the body makes real.
As the youth manages to recover some, his well-being is not a concern. Something else vexes his thoughts as he immediately stares up at Frei and his shredded clothes. Eyes asking a question his mouth dares not speak.
Did he fail?
Frei's expression replies otherwise. The boy's eyes alight at Frei's hands, hearing the offer and the boy immediately rises. His movements a bit jittery and unsteady at first, a bit overwhelmed with everything that just happened to him. His slight fingers spreading outwards as he holds his hands out to the monk. Breathlessly staring with wide glimmering eyes..
His breathing is heavy; you'd almost think it was Frei who was enduring the intense pain, though between the two the young fighter certainly got the worst of it physically. If anything, the monk looks *surprised*, pleasantly, that this worked as well as it did. For many people their aura is simply too well-developed to pull that off. But Frei, and Kentou now, were both at stages of their development where that barrier was possible to be breached, just for a moment.
Frei's smile is gentle as he opens his hands and lets whatever he was 'holding' fall into Kentou's grip. It's the boy's 'will'... his personal energy, a fraction of it, taking solid form for just a moment before evaporating into the chi in the air. "Congratulations," he says with a smile, snow collecting in his dark red hair. "This is... a big first step. You have to remember always that no matter how much power you get, without the will to act, without believing, you can't do... anything. Hotaru's been teaching you the same thing, just with different words..."
Its hard to say why Kentou was able to manage his part of this advanced technique when others, Frei included, were unable to on their first try.
So many factors are different. Kentou is a warrior first and foremost whereas Frei is a scholar. Action and conquering adversity is Kentou's creed, where understanding and comprehending knowledge is Frei's true calling.
Of course, to be truly great at either, one must possess a measure of both.
However, when the chips are down and the pain is unbearable, Kentou always seems to come alive and dig deep. Terrible pain was not an obsticle as it would be some.
And Frei, while he'd never admit it, perhaps he's come further along in his path of understanding than even his own old Master.
Regardless of how it is possible.. or what it was possible.. it is.
As Frei's hands open, a glow fills the air between them. A rich hue of incandescent energy. Shaped like the soft illumination of a candle, banishing darkness while giving strength and insight to all that see it. The texture and form of it is much like Hotaru's own, a simple yet potent energy. The color of it, however, is wholly his own.
The energy is a rich viridian. An emerald color not unlike the deep jade of Frei's eyes. The color of life, forged by the emotion of courage.
As the energy falls into the boy's hands, his fingers cradle around it's glow. Eyes reflecting its radiance as a soft, breathless laugh escapes him, "...Its.. it feels warm.." The youth remarks, completely enthralled with it. Fingers slowly closing tigher as the ephemeral thing slowly dissolves away. Motes of its substance dissolves upwards from its mass, returning to the universe until nothing is left.. Save the memory of its existence at all.
At the word 'Congratulations', Kentou's attention snaps up to Frei. A joyful expression plastered all over his face as can't hold back his childish giggle.
However, as the seriousness of Frei's words reach him, the boy's hands clench into fists. Swallowing back that smile as he nods firmly in understanding. "Hai. Hai!" Echoing his acknowledgement as he understands.
Kentou really, truly, honestly is beginning to understand now. This was the 'key' he needed to discover and he knows it now. A .. focal point. He knows what it feels like, he knows how to touch it within himself. For the first time he feels confident.. No, Certain!.. He can call it up again in future lessons.
"T..Thank you.. Thank you! Instructor Frei!"
Oh, good. He's happy.
Relieved, Frei lets out a breath and then tumbles backwards onto the snow, landing on his backside and sprawling. It's not necessarily pain or effort, but perhaps relief... that everything went as planned, that the worst was avoided, that something positive came of his gamble. And it was a gamble; there was no guarantee this would work. In a better time and place, the monk might be elated at just how far his knowledge was expanded in this brief encounter.
Instead, a part of him is just happy it's over.
He smiles up at Kentou as the green light fades away. "Don't thank me. You did as much of the hard work. And this was... just a demonstration. I wanted to prove to you that you could do it, that you could find your 'will' and hold on to it, make something good happen. You did." Breathing in and out slowly, the monk reaches behind him and picks up the remains of his headband from the snow, holding it out in front of him; his dark red bangs, already too long for the headband, spill into his face. Was it worth it? Would his Master have approved of this?
He wants to believe the answer to that is 'yes'.
"From here the training gets more difficult. Now you have to be able to find that focus and apply it when you want to... make it second nature. But hopefully this will help you visualize it better." And it should... in theory. Wiping a hand across his brow, Frei looks to the side. "I want you to be prepared for... for whatever happens. But I meant what I said. If you believe, then you can make it happen... and sadness today may be strength tomorrow."
Darn right he's happy!
As Frei topples backwards onto the snow, a moment of concern flashes over the boy's face but only until its clear Frei isn't hurt or exhausted. The boy can only imagine how much effort it must have taken to pull off a technique like that!
Certainly felt like Kentou was being pulled from the inside out. Memories of that senation make him flinch inwardly. The boy is likewise content that he'll never have to do THAT again.
..He hopes.
But the sweetness of victory excuses much of the pain. As Frei said, the pain of yesterday became something positive in the here and now.
Still, as Frei tries to dismiss much of his own credit, the boy can only smile knowingly. Hah! That Frei, he's just way too modest! Sure, perhaps the boy had more at stake but that certainly doesn't mean he could ever replicate what Frei just managed on his own. He completely owes this revelation to him.
Although, the youth visibly winces as Frei mentions future difficulty. As if this process was easy! It was certainly short, but it was not easy. Still, the boy doesn't believe that's the hardest part.
The -hardest- part.. Is knowing that something is possible. In believing in something wholeheartedly. In touching something great.
The boy's eyes drift down to his open hands, remembering the sensation of the warm, powerful glow.
Now that he knows. He can do it. Kentou knows he can! All of his hard work, all of his effort, all of his sweat and tears will be -for- something. Knowing that with every fiber of his being, Kentou will happily move mountains a handful at a time.
As Frei mentions 'whatever happens', Kentou's eyes shift upward to meet the Monk's own. A look of determined resolve shadowing his features and dampening the victory in part.
Yes. Their loved ones are in danger. From others and, more importantly, from themselves. Frei's brother. Hotaru.
Between this and Sakura's words, The boy thinks he's ready. As ready as can be. To understand the adversity just enough to face it.
"Hai!" Kentou nods firmly to Frei's words.
Log created on 23:32:01 02/21/2008 by Frei, and last modified on 02:17:36 02/25/2008.