Description: Visiting the YFCC out of curiosity, Shurui runs into K' and is immediately struck by how strange he looks in her psionic sight. Unfortunately, like almost everyone who manages to initiate a conversation lasting longer than a minute with K', Shurui unwittingly ends up offending the standoffish former experiment. Though he was kind of asking for it.
Shurui is never listening to that damn counselor again. 'Go to the YFCC,' the counselor said. 'They have plenty of young people your age who you could relate to.' The conversation after that point derailed, with Shurui not being at all interested in socialization and the counselor claiming it would 'open up her world' and so on.
Well, she did meet someone. Or rather, someone met her. A little girl, who was bored since her brother was too busy punching things to play with her dolls.
It may be odd to see a girl, even someone of Shurui's height and age, being led around by a small girl by a pinky, as if the little girl had all the strength in the world at her disposal. "What colors are they over there?" Bewildered, the older grey-haired girl looks towards the direction of the small girl's pointing finger towards a pair of practicing fighters.
".... It's not as simple as colors," comes the reply, rather flabbergasted.
"You told me my color was pink," says the little girl in reply.
"... Yeah, but..." Shurui's voice descends into a mumble. "It's sort of pink, yeah, but.... not." The girl's pout inspires Shurui to groan. "The guy on the right is sort of a light blue, I guess. The other one just looks pissed off."
"What's 'pissed off' mean?"
"... It's.... c'mon, I really can't explain these things, okay?"
K' will probably just have walked on one of the strangest conversations probably ever to enter the YFCC: what color everything is. Only, said guy on the right is *not* a light blue. He's not even dressed in that color. The other... well, they seem to be losing, so perhaps that call wasn't too far off.
"Is 'pissed off' a color?"
"...." Isn't she supposed to be fighting someone?
It's not so much K' walking in on a funny conversation... as much as a funny conversation walking in on him. Minding his own business, sitting casually on the floor some distance down the curving hall Shurui's little escort is pulling her insistently along, the boy seems to be occupying his time by absently watching the kids practicing in the sparring rooms. Back pressed against the wall in a negligent slouch, K''s long legs stretch out in an indolent, sprawling sort of way: one bent, the other straight.
As per his usual disregard of anyone else's convenience, he happens to be blocking much of the hallway.
For some mysterious reason, he doesn't detect the approaching pair far enough in advance to quietly make an inconspicuous escape; which he usually does when he senses his solitude being intruded upon. It's a reason that soon becomes evident the closer Shurui and her little charge get. The boy is wearing his earphones, listening to something damagingly loud and thoughtfully chewing an unfortunate pen stuck loosely in his mouth.
Were any of the administrators of the YFCC to see him right now, they'd likely be questioning Alma's decision to let him stay on here even more than they already are.
"...." Thumbing the shades perched on her forehead thoughtfully as she's pulled along, Shurui tries to bring about the resolve to say something to the little girl. Something to the effect of 'shove off' or 'go away' or even 'please leave me alone.' But she can't. She never can. It's not really out of pity that she continues to be with the girl, it's something else. Something like...
'What's it like, to be that young?'
Such a stupid question. If Shurui actually *remembered* something about her childhood, she might just lose whatever faith in humankind her adoptive father gave her. Still, it lingers, in the back of her mind. What is it like, to be six? Seven? Do people normally remember themselves that young? Do they-
Enter the Kay. Or rather, enter the Shurui and little girl as the Kay tries to find some peace and quiet in the hallway. "... Dwhi-!?" That guy looks like.... like... hell, she doesn't know! Is that.... chi?! Everything's chi, right? That's the only kind she knows!
Pause.
".... Shushu?" "... Shurui." "... Why're you staring at him?" "... I don't know. He's..." "Big brother said not talk to him, he's mean..." "... I'd be surprised if he wasn't an ass; how the hell does he..?" A giggle causes Shurui to pause. ".... You reaaallly shouldn't be hanging around me... Go tell your brother he's a d-.... not a nice person for leaving you alone by yourself." Shurui's chest sags with a sigh as the girl nods. "It was nice meeting you, Shushu. We should play again!" ".... It's Shurui. Shu. Rui." Brown eyes look back at K'. Are there people out there, like this...? "Shushu's cuter."
Normal people remember themselves that young. But people like K', like Shurui? No. Everything's blank up until that one instant you start thinking and perceiving again. Now, those kind of people can still try to have a life-- to interact as normal. But there's always something missing. There's always those doubts in the back of their minds. Who are they? Where did they come from? And, if they ever do remember anything... how much of what -is- remembered is real?
The doubt and insecurity is everpresent-- the weight of living as someone with no real self save one forged in a scant few years, heavy. Perhaps that's why K''s shoulders look so perpetually weighted down, why his default mood is a deep and frowning brood.
Or maybe, in this moment here and now, he's just disquieted-- and annoyed-- by the way Shurui is staring at him. Don't think he didn't notice-- don't think he can't tell. It might have taken him a bit longer to take heed of his new company, given the earphones he's wearing. But Shurui's continued staring eventually gets his attention. Most animals can tell when they're being watched.
His yellow-eyed gaze flicks around presently, regarding the little girl about the same time she starts to hesitantly caution Shurui about his 'malign temperament.' The way he -looks- at the two of them doesn't seem to rebut anything the girl's saying; and after she takes off, K' just lets his gaze shift up to Shurui's eyes. It stays there, the cast of his gaze the very -picture- of insolence. And eventually, K' asks in the most gracious of ways... "What are you looking at...?"
The first things Shurui percieved were a grey sky, of alleyways and trash cans. In fact, she could even joke that she was born there. Just some embodiment of the streets. But that doesn't happen in real life, does it?
6... Everything in this world can be explained. Everything that can't... just hasn't found an acceptable answer. That has been Shurui's base, the foundation that kept her from lapsing into her true age, whatever that would be. Was she 16? Or was she someone younger? Maybe she's just a thirteen year old who miscounted and can't go back now that she's legally a certain age. -No, she's 16. Whatever she forgot? Had to have been something bad, like child abuse. Maybe something sexual. Pain, violence. Maybe that's why her hair's gray now.
Wait, does that even happen, except in cartoons?
Her words are automatic. Just a bad habit from the streets. Someone asks a question, and you be a smartass back to them. "I'm looking at a guy sitting at a hallway." Different tone of voice. Confidence. For some insane reason, the girl who was helplessly being led around by the pinky now looks like she has some sort of spine. The next words would be something else, and she would respond with another rude quip of a coment. But this is different. This isn't the streets. Or even that fond old apartment, where such foul manners would have recieved a quick but measured jab to the side for letting her tongue get the best of her.
Here, in this hallway. That's where she is. Staring at a young man her eyes tell her is completely different from any person she's seen before. 'You look like you're on fire'. 'You look like hell.' 'You look like you're filled with something I've never seen before.' 'You look like hell.' She could say it, even if, in the context of her deadpan voice, it would not be given a second thought. All it would be to a third party is a kid being a smartass a guy who could probably beat her ass in a second.
Shurui knows that. Her 'sight' is all so vague, but, even if she'd want to in order to indirectly figure out what in the world she's seeing, she definitely shouldn't fight him and be unwary of the possible damage that would follow. Maybe, she will. It's easier to say things through sparring. It always has been. Words are just a blunt weapons to be thrown away like so much garbage.
The next question fails to disguise her surprise and curiosity. "Who are you?"
Sure it happens. Even the most mundane of stresses can make hair go grey. Worries about school, a job, a failing marriage. Things with which everyone deals, sooner or later. Compared to -that-, when you consider what K' went through-- what any of those NESTS experiments went through-- it's not hard to guess why their hair's so shock-white. It's the pain and trauma they go through, the agony on mental and physical levels which they all experience.
What K' took from that, other than his changed appearance and that strange fire in him, is an nature just as sharp and prickly as Shurui's. K' scoffs a little as the girl snips back at him, the sound almost amused-- but largely just irritated. Confident slip of a girl, got an attitude too: but the way she's looking at him? People don't look at other people like that unless they're seeing something really odd. K' is experienced enough in getting weird stares to know when he's being nailed by one.
"Why do you even want to know?" is the quick retort, K''s eyes narrowing. A brow lifts, emphasis of the query. His head tilts forwards in a brief indication, a generalized nod at her intent glare. Nah, don't even answer that. He can guess why she's staring, and he's going to preempt whatever she says with his own, harshly-delivered opinion. "--nah. I know. Normal people don't stare that hard unless they're seeing something they don't like."
With a slow, languorous movement, K' coils and pushes to a loose, casual sort of stand: pawing the pen out of his mouth. He leans forward just a little, obvious challenge stacked meaningfully into all those inches of height difference, and just -grins-. The expression is completely devoid either of warmth, or of amusement. It's also brief, a flashing spark of startling arrogance that quickly dies out. "So what don't you like...?"
Psycho power doesn't burn. It's just a voice, and sense, something so vague and yet so specific about the people around you. The specifics? It sees just a little past that barrier everyone puts up. It's not as noble-seeming a force as chi, and it's scary when not wield by someone whose intentions are wholly pure.
"...?" Normal people? She's normal people? ... Yes, perhaps, to this man, she'd be normal people. She's pissed off about something or another that she's missing, but this man may have a viable reason to be angry. So he's supposed to be abnormal by default? This is abnormal?
He's tall. Far taller than she is. And now that her actual vision is beginning to fill in the parts where it once glossed over, the girl can now see the specifics of the man she just possibly pissed off. He's no longer just a creature of black, tan, and white, a mess of color that just gives her enough definition to not trip over him. His gaze, his face, the sneer. White hair. She sees it all. And then, the 'third eye', overlaying it all, now almost too dizzying to awknowledge.
Silence. Her dark eyes focus and stare back. ".... I see a man on fire." It's too sober to be a cheesy pick-up line, and, truthfully, Shurui's not looking at him in such a way. It's just the truth of her observation, put into words that may or may not fit the reality of K's situation. "... It's not a matter of dislike. It's a matter of 'is'. It exists. You exist. Why the hell would I hate it? If you smashed whatever sort of weird chi or energy or whatever the hell at me, yeah, I'd hate it. Right now, I'm just trying to figure out what the hell I'm looking at." Her voice is low, a whisper. She'd rather not draw attention. Not right now. "The question is..." Her eyes stare back, the emotions behind them cautious but resilient. It's not the same as blind courage; she knows the danger. "... Do you dislike the fact that I see it?"
Okay. So she's not normal people.
Something happens to K'. Something strange. His assertive, aggressive mask sustains a crack, and all the confidence he'd heretofore been radiating abruptly drains away. Even that fire in him briefly subsides, surprise dimming the everpresent holy flames in his blood-- beneath his skin. Contrary to the usual reactions of surprise most people give, K''s eyes don't widen. They just narrow even more.
"...that your idea of a joke?" Those yellow eyes fix on Shurui's, their stare seeming intent on ripping out the secret of how she's seeing what she is. "You see me fight somewhere and think it'd be funny to pull this?" He certainly doesn't -look- amused, if the utter -glare- he's throwing her way is any indication. 'Does he dislike the fact she sees it?' He doesn't even have to answer that one, it's written all over his vehement reaction.
That tension strings out just a little longer before his mood breaks. He suddenly leans back, turning his back sharply with a dismissive sound. "If not... I don't know how you're seeing what you do--" A baleful stare slants over his shoulder. "--but for your own good, I suggest you stop unless you want to see it first-hand. There's nothing to 'figure out' about what's in me."
He looks back forward. This is partially because he's not interested in looking at her any longer, and partially because he wants to hide the look of bitterness that's soured the harsh line of his mouth. "I'm done with people trying to 'figure me out.'"
Notably, he doesn't even ask her how she sees what she does; he just tells her to stop. He's not interested in the weird abilities of others, doesn't care to hear their stories or capabilities. He's got a hard enough time dealing with his own.
She slipped. Those eyes were looking for an answer and they got it. But it wasn't one either of them wanted to hear. .... A joke? A look almost as weird crosses Shurui's face. Horrified. Disgusted. "... Fuck no! You think I get my kicks from this?! It's just that..." She trails off, something reacting inside of her almost in direct response to the reaction she got from K'. That look. That... energy. A crack. "Look, I don't even know who you are."
Almost in tandem, she looks away, squeezing her eyes shut. It's still there, in the back of her brain. It never bothered her before, but it does now. Even if she closed her eyes, even if she doesn't see the colors, she senses movement. Sudden shifts that, if right behind her or to the side she would have reacted by instinct. She trained herself to be that way. It works. She considered it a gift.
Fuck all of this. Damn counselor always trying to figure her out, trying to make her be more social, telling her to go here, do this... Is she even familiar with Gedo High? Does she expect everyone to be some well-adjuste- "....!" Shurui stops there. At that comment. 'You're never playing with kids your own age.' 'Don't you have hobbies?' 'Why don't you remember anything yet?' 'You're making this up, aren't you?' 'Do you know what you want to do with your life?' Earlier questions. 'Why do you always think everyone's your enemy?' 'Where were you before you ran away? You're just making that first part up, right?'
Everyone wants an answer. It's probably worse for him. She is who she is. She has no past, and it's fine. She'll make up for it. It's everyone else who has a problem with it. She looks different. So do many other people. She's not the only one with odd hair. And yet, here she comes, pointing fingers. That look he gave her. She better answer to that.
"I'm sorry." The words.... seem just as odd coming out of her mouth. Shurui almost feels them, like misshapen marbles in her mouth. Yet something's behind them, something... not sympathetic, but empathic. Too subtle to be a grand gesture that would be outside of Shurui's usual realm of expression. "... Tch. You get this a lot, don't you? Fuckin' people looking at you, saying 'why are you like this' and everything. And I did it too, even getting all up in your face. So I'm gonna stop. Neither of us can stop whatever the hell we do, so let's just leave it at that." She pauses, still looking away. "I owe you my name. It's Shurui. Call me Shushu, though, and hurt you. Somehow."
So why in the hell was that little girl calling her that without a single care in the world?
The boy's turned back isn't telling Shurui much. Nothing that's particularly reassuring, anyway. But despite his cold demeanor, K' -is- listening to the girl's hasty, stumbling words. Listening critically. His eyes narrow at her words, the mind behind them hardly astute enough to recognize how personally she seems to take it all; but perfectly glad to focus on its owner's own feelings. She's right. She doesn't know who he is, and as far as he's concerned that's why she should back the hell up and leave him be. No matter what weird ability she has that lets her see his secret.
Like her, K' doesn't have past-- but he's emphatically not fine with it. And he'll get it back, one way or another. Even at the expense of the development of his personality in the here and now... a concept Shurui seems to grasp even better than he does.
When she apologizes, he finally concedes enough to glance over his shoulder... and this time, hold her gaze. He regards her searchingly, his yellow eyes-- so unusual, even more so due to that burnt-red cast hiding beneath the amber-- holding steady. He -does- get it a lot. A lot of people up in his face, questioning him, staring at him-- wondering what the hell he is. But he doesn't often get a lot of people who'll -own up to it-. Especially with that tone of voice that says they know what it's like.
So Shurui's words mollify him a little. But nonetheless, his voice stays gruff and his eyes just a little narrowed. Owe him her name. Ha. "Funny you offer your name like it's got some kinda worth you can remit me," he points out quietly. A few moments of silence-- and then, an indifferent shrug. "Fine. I'll take it. But giving you mine..." A derisive sound that could almost be called brief, muted laughter. "Afraid that wouldn't be an equal trade."
He lets that hang in the air a minute, probably making Shurui think he's insulting her. But presently, he finds it in his heart to clarify. K' turns around lazily, letting his hands disappear into his pockets. "Mine isn't worth much at all."
It was Muda's doing, really. Her father. As gruff as her personality is, the reason she tries to socialize, the reason she hasn't closed up completely... was because of an old man who saw something in her. Took her, and gave her an identity. A record. A number. Legally, she exists, even if she didn't before. She exists as a girl with a Chinese name. A girl whose Chinese is muddled at best. But it works.
Sort of. K' caught her off guard and she reacted like she was cornered in an alleyway. If Muda hadn't been cremated, she's sure he'd be spinning in his grave at her lack of manners.
When she looks up after that awkward apology, she's surprised to see his eyes. Even if they're muddled beyond the veil of light and dark, it's surprising just how much force is behind them. It's the same sense that makes someone 'feel' that they're being watched, only here, it's very clear. Maybe all fighters are like that? "... I probably don't get it as bad as you do," Shurui admits. "But, like, I should have manners or something, right?"
His apology isn't an equal trade? "What's there to apologize for? I'll admit.... I thought I was going to stand out here. But if there are more people like you here... It..." She pauses. "It'd actually be fun to keep coming back here, you know?"
It's so surprising, to see someone so confident and cocky now seem to be completely the opposite. And yet, something that seems familiar. She was like that too. Maybe she still is. That first year of school, everyone disliked her. When she fought back, they feared her. Those who befriended her... well, they drift off. Away. There seemed to be nothing in common she could even find. Gedo will be different, of course. That's why she chose it.
"... I'd like to know your name. I mean.... I don't care about whatever I saw now. You seem... different, but in a good way." Maybe it would be worth it, just to get to know this person. Not because her sight sees something strange when she gazes upon him, or because of sympathy. The reason will be the same reason she went to Gedo, even though her grades were good (at least, whatever was on record). "Even if we never met again, or something, I'd like to know your name. Or else..." She laughs beneath her breath and smirks. "I'll call you whatever that girl back there says your name is."
See, Shurui had a father. She had someone to take her in after what was done to her. Someone who valued her not as a weapon, but as a person. K'? K' had supervisors. People who held his leash. Krizalid was a distant CO more than a brother. The woman who oversaw him as a project, who supervised him after he woke, his Diana? Killed within months, around only long enough for him to get a little bit attached.
K' has only really had one person treat him like a person, like anyone of worth. And he's known that person too short a time for any enduring positive effect to take root in his wary, defensive nature. That decent influence has been too brief to counteract all that trauma.
He's got nothing to say to Shurui's thoughts on the importance of manners; on the potential fun that can be had within the walls of the YFCC (though his gaze does roll slightly in sardonic amusement at the thought that 'coming back here' could be entertaining). "Try having to be here regularly," he mutters, though the words are spoken rhetorically: kept quiet and under his breath.
Shurui's request, however, gets his skeptical gaze skating back towards hers. Good that she professes not to care about what she saw-- the fewer commotion poeple make about his abilities, the better-- but this kind of curiosity is something else entirely. He'd almost take the interrogation about his stolen fire over this. ...-almost.- "Like I said." A shoulder lifts. "It's not worth much. But if you really cared, you could probably do your homework... and find out yourself. From people a little older than -five-."
Seems like he's going to take his chances.
Muda. Therein lies the true reason she apologized. And, perhaps, the reason why she wants to befriend K'. She hasn't abandoned the idea that no one could ever possibly get close to her; it's all more about whether or not *she* wants them to. If she tried. Muda wanted her to try, but at her own pace. It wasn't to say he was perfect, or lovey-dovey. In fact, he pretty much regarded her as his charge until a year before his sudden death. A year that showed Shurui what it was like to call someone 'dad'.
What was that K' was mumbling just now? Heh. It's probably something negative.
He called her on her own bluff. Shurui makes a face for a moment, seeming more to be like the little girl who left than someone who was..... staring him down fifteen or so minutes ago. It stops in a heartbeat, replaced with something more 'normal'. That, and a laugh. "... Since you don't seem to care either way.... I guess I will." Find out K's name herself? Heh. She'll make a game of it, even. Find out this guy's name and.... then what? Oh hell, it's not like she's looking for a reward. There's her goal. Maybe, she should make him regret it? Naah. It's hard to say what her opinion is of him right now- maybe, just maybe it would be a little fun to annoy him once in a while, but, truly?
'I'm sick of people trying to 'figure me out'.' She needs to make sure she never sees that face, that expression, ever again.
Maybe... it would do them both a little good if they meet again. If nothing comes of it, hey, Shurui's not out to make friends. But.... perhaps it would be good to stick around?
Log created on 22:13:03 01/24/2008 by K', and last modified on 22:33:19 01/26/2008.