Description: *Season four, Director's cut* Some random things happen and some people do things and then it stops abruptly because the editor was totally like ahh huh, lets just trim this randomness. If only he had trimmed more.
A couple days ago was the biggest shopping holiday ever. The stores had made their last bids to sell everything and now.. now that it was over came the next biggest thing.. Return season. This doesn't fit, or this is broken, or I just never wanted this. All of these things comes to a head when long lines mark what stores hate the most. . money back.
Along the lines of people waiting to bring things back to this store in particular is one Red Witch. You maybe wondering just who gave her gifts in the first place, but if you look carefully at said gifts, and the signs of this particular shop matching purchases with donations, and if you knew the witch... You might know. .
"Excuse me miss, these items you are trying to return was all donated to the salvation army.. And if memory serves me right. . " The shop keeper peers at the witch in question, "You were the one who came to accept the donations!"
Afterall, how could you forget a woman decked in a red dress, with black teashades over her eyes, a witches hat and a broom?
"Yes, I'm quite certain ma'am, you were even dressed the same way."
"But but, see, look, I need to return these cause they don't fit."
"Don't fit who ma'am? They're inspirational cds and books on Chi!"
"Ahh, yeah well, our umm, .. We prefer cash donations."
Guy is actually in the arcade. Because, y'know, all martial arts heroes like to play video games. He's not here alone, though. Four Genin have come with their Master from the Japanese Dojo. One is playing against Guy in Initial D, while one 'stands guard'. The other two have gone wandering around the mall. All four are dressed casually, excluding Guy, who is resplendant in his orange gi, as usual. Ah, the life of a hero.
Of course, it's all fun and games until the two wandering spot Naerose and her... incident. The two quickly converse, and one decides to stay and watch while the other goes to get Guy. The one staying takes up a hidden position, though if a crowd forms, he'll blend with them, and follow Naerose as necessary.
Guy is none too pleased to have his game interrupted, and so they finish before the Genin can inform Guy as to what is going on. Sighing, the Hero of Metro City rises from the car-game console, uttering commands in Japanese. The other three Genin get to the scene quickly, observing as their counterpart has. Guy will arrive in short order.
This exchange continues, the cashier is totally not falling for the Red Witch and the Red Witch is totally persisting, but in the end... She's just straight up thrown out and it goes something like this,
"Look lady, it's past the holidays and you still have this stuff, it was a donation? Get it? To help the needy. I'm going to call mall security if you don- What the? where did she go?"
For a moment it looked as if she might be listening to this entire lecture just standing there with a smile and then she vanishes like a cloud of smoke.. A cloud of Naerose shaped smoke. It was not a ninja technique but a cartoon technique she was taught by Li Xiangfei. The witch meanwhile is around the corner, applying a disguise. Digging through her hat she finds a pair of lenless plastic glasses with a plastic moustache. She places it on over her shades which she keeps and doesn't bother changing the rest of her attire. Oh yeah, this will fool them.
To see a woman appear out of thin air is one thing. For her to appear /right in front of you/ as you go to look for her, however, is another. While the Genin are busy trying to figure out what happened, Guy, who was on his way to the scene, manages to very nearly run into Naerose. Of course, he's able to stop before anything happens, and he folds his arms in that Very Guy Way, peering down his nose at the girl... behind her, of course.
"Nice trick. The problem is that you reappeared in short range... and your disguise sucks like a vacuum."
Actually.. The trick is almost disgustingly simple. She runs from point A to point B, the Naerose shaped dust cloud distraction is merely a clever usage of cartoon physics. Probably wouldn't work in a serious situation, hardly works in a silly one. The witch in a moustache looks up at Guy and is like.. ahhh.. A moment passes.
"Hi!' she says brightly and offers a shake of her hand while leaning her broomstick on her shoulder.
"Er, so.." She looks around, shifts on her feet and points toward the shop.
"Just finish some .. gift returning." Said gifts are in a shopping bag by her feet.
Guy arches an eyebrow. His periphial vision notices the Genin taking up positions around the area, in case a fight should break out... which it may not. "From what I understand, you were trying to return donations... not very charitable, now, is it?" These sorts of people always seem to piss Guy off, and he's peering down at the girl with more than a little contempt in his voice. "Not to mention, you're abusing your abilities for ill will. I don't care for that, especially in my home."
"Ahh.." The witch looks around and fixes her shades then says in a whisper, "Wait, you live in a mall?"
That's such a good idea, you can tell she's glowing at the thought,
"Cause whenevr I try they kick me out! And one time I found this bench and I slept on it for about six hours, cause I was soo sleepy, but then I found out that even if you do manage to stay in the mall after closing time, they actually close the shops, so you can't like shop or anything. Course .." She reaches into her hat and pulls out her 'wallet', a plastic zip lock bag full of pennies.
"Not doing so well on the finances this year.."
"I meant Japan." This girl is giving Guy quite a few things to think about. First, what the hell is with that outfit? Who wears something /that/ weird in public? Second, why is her 'wallet' a bag of pennies? That just doesn't make sense. Finally, of course, is the pile of stuff at her feet. "So, are you going to explain why you were returning gift donations in an attempt to exploit the system?"
"Ahhh.." The witch says, looking at her gift donations at her feet then guilty looks at the ceiling. A bird flutters by. It is a cute bird, a very colorful little yellow and black bird. She points it out in an attempt to change the subject. Her face <|8) meets Guy's gaze, which is probably a :|a. Obviously this isn't going to work. She drops her hand slowly.
"Well er.. " She begins and then sighs.
"It's too late for gifts.. I think.. the money would go better toward starving families."
Nevermind Naerose was hungry, but further never mind, and Elle would make a point of this, she gets paid a ridiculously high amount of money on some jobs and has no excuse for poverty except perhaps an uncanny lack of regard for saving. No one yet knows where her money goes.
"So.. Yeah, I'm just.. Unless you want to make a donation.. "
Her conscience is catching up with her pretty fast.
"Let me just make a call.."
She whips out a red razr from her hat, dials a number. "Yeah, I ahh have a pick up for you.."
She givse the address.. It isn't long before one of the bell ringing salvation army people come to collect the donations, all the while the Red Witch is looking down sort of guiltily.
As the Salvation Army folks arrive, Guy calls out something in Japanese. A Genin appears in short order, and is given orders, also in Japanese. If Naerose can speak it, he's telling the Genin to follow the group of Salvation Army members, making sure that they -are- Salvation Army members, and protecting the group should it be attacked. Guy looks down at Naerose once more. "You're obviously hungry, aren't you... well, the food court has some good noodles, and I happen to be hungry." He's going to keep an eye on /this/ one, that's for sure.
"Yep they sure do," replies Naerose, happy to get onto another subject, any subject. The look of guilt seems to wash away like footprints on a beach as the tide comes in. She's just that easy to distract perhaps.
"You should totally try some of the drink specials, you can get bottomless drinks from some of the places, well, you can, I can't. They stopped serving mee bottomless anything a long time ago." She sighs, looking totally dejected that anyone might single her out as not being allowed to receive the bottomless specials.
"Hey, are you like in a gang or something,? cause you got people around and they are all uniform ally dressed. I bet you know some cool signs. Hey, do you tag stuff?"
Guy shakes his head in... what? Disgust? Amusement? Who knows. "Apparently, the gaijin has never heard of a dojo." Still shaking his head, he turns and begins to walk in the direction of the food court. After a few moments, he calls back. "Well? Are you coming, or not?" The Genin, already walking with him, peer back as if to examine someone who turns down free food. None of them speak, though, either due to discipline, or not having anything nice to say.
The witch is totally confused for a moment, "I'm not kaijin.. I'm from new mexico, sort of have some of the argintinian thing goin. Like Carlos Delfino, he's so handsome." The witch babbles inanely and then notices that Guy is leaving with his gang and.. they're heading toward the food court and that might mean.. She sees it in her head.
Naerose: 'Are you going to eat all your fries'?
Guy: 'I just started'
Naerose: 'Yeah, but are you done with them?'
Guy: 'Here.'
Naerose: 'Yesss!'
Yeah, that's totally how it is going to go and she daydreams this a moment later before she darts off to join the leaving group.
"Wow, I didn't know you liked food too, you're totally a great guy, hey whats your name anyway? And whats a dojo?"
Guy laughs. "No no. Gaijin is a Japanese word. It means foreigner." He leaves out the part of it being a total insult. "A dojo is a place where martial arts are practiced, and... oh, never mind. I'm hungry, let's go." One of the Genin whispers Guy's name to Naerose, shocked that she didn't recognize the fighter.
Of course, Guy heads right for the Ramen Bar in the food court... he's a ninja. Duh.
"Ah, I know he's a guy, I mean look at him, though he is a little feminine, that's just you know, common in this country right? Anyway, I'm Naerose. And I'm totally a witch." She says with a <3. That is to say if you were watching her talk as if this were an anime you would see a <3 in the air when she announced her witchness and also you'd probably see sweat drops of people around them. But this is real life! Which makes her even weirder.
"So.. er.. what's your name? I guess I can just call you Guy, if you like, but that is kind of weird don'tcha think.." She looks at the menu,
"Wowh, this is great!" She's been here a million times,
"I want .. everything from here, to here, " She points basically to the entire menu.
Guy shakes his head, laughing. She's got his appetite, that's for sure. The people at the stand recognize Guy, so he gets the discount rate, and Naerose gets her wish. Food is ordered, and had, by all. "My name IS Guy. It's a long story. Eat up." With that, he delves into the noodles that he ordered like a shark in swimmer-infested water.
Guy shakes his head, laughing. She's got his appetite, that's for sure. The people at the stand recognize Guy, so he gets the discount rate, and Naerose gets her wish. Food is ordered, and had, by all. "My name IS Guy. It's a long story. Eat up." With that, he delves into the noodles that he ordered like a shark in swimmer-infested water.
this could be serious, an eating contest between these two. But there wasn't any rush, just hunger. The witch doesn't know how to use chopsticks, she doesn't say spoon please though, she just tips noodle bowls back and empties them, completely, totally, leaves nothing but a clean bowl, she totally licks it.
Eating hijinx ensue, but they're not that fun to watch except to note that, yes she does eat it all and yes, she does ask,
"Are you going to eat all of that?"
She's pointing to something Guy hasn't even had a chance to start into, but she has that winning smile and , you can't see her eyes behind her shades, but they're probably smiling too. Unfortunately her winning smile usually loses.
Guy nods. "I ordered it, I'm going to eat it. If you're hungry, order more." Eat /his/ food? Screw THAT! That's grounds for a fight right there, and the mall people would be kinda pissed of Guy went ahead and started to throw down in the food court, hilarious though that might be.
"Really?!" And you'll pa And you'll pay for it?" The witch asks, obviously expecting that the answer would be no. But she doesn't wait for that no, she ordres more and starts to eat more, except there IS a limit to what she can manage and before long her hat comes off, she's discrete, yeah but she has HORRIBLE hat hair and that's pretty indiscrete and furthermore she starts to break off bits and what? She actually feeds her bunny, wait there was a bunny in that hat?
Sylvester sniffs at some noodles, typically not the diet of a bunny, but Sylvester hasn't been fed this year so he eats them, then she starts putting wrapped rolls into her hat, trying to look as discrete as the coyotte in the looney toons. At least she tries.
Two fingers get pointed at Nae's head, as if they were a gun. "Don't abuse charity." The rabbit's food is traded for a more bunny-friendly salad by the owners, and even the Genin lean in to get some food themselves. Of course, this whole group is taking up the bar, but since Guy, the rich hero, is paying for everyone, the owners are more than happy to serve.
"Well see, I'm not abusing, I'm just you know it's rude to return a gift right? so if you like said, get food and I'll pay and then I didn't get enough food, you know was hungry, that would be returning a gift and that would be rude, so I'm just trying to be polite," The witch says with a big grin and then continues on another vein,
"So you have a dojo and you teach people stuff? Cause I think you should totally take me as one of your sudents!"
And the record player skips, probably she said something pretty crazy right there, but maybe Guy is used to it. Looking at the witch, with her smile not changing it's like.. she expects him to get just as excited about the prospect.
Guy, four Genin, the ramen bar owners, and probably anyone in earshot laugh loudly and for a great deal of time at what Naerose says. Guy finally answers. "My dojo has some strict rules... I don't think you'd make it too long." He goes back to eating, and the Genin stop laughing soon after. The owners of the ramen bar laugh a bit longer, but eventually stop.
"What kind of rules?" Asks the witch, non-plussed by someone trying to tell her that whatever she is up to is a bad idea. She gets that a lot. a whole lot. Usually it is what people tell her, but she never gives up so easily.
"I'm pretty good at following rules you know, like don't walk and try fee samples."
She gives another winning smile and is apparently done eating and probably gained some weight.
Log created on 11:43:58 12/28/2007 by Naerose, and last modified on 08:57:13 04/26/2008.