Description: A programme like SNF, with people beating the crap out of each other on live television - can you imagine the paperwork? The insurance forms? The waivers? All the sign-here-and-here-and-here and the Howard-Enterprises-is-not-responsible-for-any-injuries-incurred? Well, there's a lot of it. And it's especially bad if you're Kiyoko, a girl who's entering the fighting world as her dying wish. That sort of thing worries TV producers. Might be bad for ratings if she actually, you know, makes the agricultural real estate deal on camera. So here's poor Kiyoko, battling the legal demons. But lucky her, she's about to get some free unsolicited advice.
All the formalities are making Kiyoko wonder if this was such a good idea after all. It looks like her 'wish' isn't going to be as clean cut as she thought. Maybe if she'd asked for something simple like a massive shopping spree or a pony she'd have gotten it without a hitch, but what she's asked for is generating a lot of work for some greedy lawyers. There are a lot of issues to be worked out, such as what happens if a fighter decides to intestinally kidneypunch her and it ends up killing her in the right. But lawyers getting paid a lot isn't what's bothering her- it's all the paperwork, and having to read it all.
If the below signed shall be critically injured or killed in the ring Howard Enterprises shall not be held accountable in any way or form.
If the below signed dies from injuries sustained in the ring at a later date Howard Enterprises shall not be held accountable in any way or form.
If the below signed dies due to a known or previously unknown medical issue aggravated by injuries sustained in the ring Howard Enterprises shall not be held accountable in any way or form.
If the below signed dies in the ring due to reasons unrelated to fighting (s)he and his/her family gives up all rights pertaining to prize money and royalties that might otherwise be awarded.
She's been here for /hours/ reading page upon page upon page of what looks to her to be the exact same thing, every one of which talks about her dying. If she weren't most of the way done with this she feels like she'd get up and leave. Why can't they just let her initial and sign without reading all of this stuff? Her parents have already signed copies, isn't that enough? With each line read she seems to slump in her chair just a little bit more, and as she sees about twenty more pages set down in front of her she almost grimaces.
And that's when the paper vanishes, slipping away in front of her eyes. The first few sheets, at least. The pages of densely printed legalese waft into the air, borne by slender fingers and a deft hand.
"Ooooh, hm, -that's- a nasty one," a cheerful voice comments, a lilting soprano tickling Kiyoko's ears.
Perched on the chair beside her is another girl, maybe a couple years younger - but flicking through the legal documents with what looks like a deft and practiced eye. A girl that almost certainly wasn't there a moment ago. Well, she's there -now-, balanced on the seat. Not actually /in/ it, but rather crouched on the armrest, the wheels of her in-line skates resting on the wood, her legs curled up tightly. She bends forward like some kind of strange teenage gargoyle, eying the plethora of paper spread on the table in front of Kiyoko.
"Oooh," the new arrival whistles, pursing her lips, "they -really- shouldn't be letting you sign these without a lawyer."
She taps one finger against her cheek, pouting. Then she turns her head to face Kiyoko, staring at her directly.
"Or maybe a trained attack dog. Or both."
It's just one paper after another. The one she was reading is finally ready to be signed, and she sets it down on the desk and picks up a pen, opening and closing her hand a few times beforehand to keep her fingers from cramping up. It makes her wonder if there'll be a line about carpal tunnel syndrome on one of the next few pages. The moment she goes to actually put ink to paper quite a few of the stack next to her suddenly disappear. She'd think it was just a lawyer picking them up if it wasn't for the speed it happened at.
The commenting voice, sounding nothing like anyone who was around her moments ago, seals it, and she looks over to it's source. A girl younger than she is. "...hey, give those back!" Despite her words, Kiyoko doesn't actually try and take them away. Another moment and she looks rather confused- how can that girl stay balanced like that? Especially in roller blades! "The lawyers already looked over them and said it was fine, and it's not like I have anything to lose. And what business is it of yours, anyway?" Trying to sound indignant but likely coming off as worried, the purple haired young woman meets Riko's gaze for a few moments, but then falters and looks away.
"Well," the strange girl replies, levelly, "I work here, kinda."
She gestures to the security pass looped round her neck, hanging off a length of cord, nestled within a clear plastic holder. It proclaims the bearer to be one 'Koganei, Riko', the name printed in both Kanji and Romaji, alongside a photograph of her smiling face. Just above a set of large block letters: CONTRACTOR.
Indeed, the various employees moving through the Geese Tower lobby don't seem to be paying this 'Riko' any mind. /Kiyoko/ is probably getting more looks than she is.
Taking a good long look at the security badge, Kiyoko leans back just lets out a bland, "Oh." She idly wonders if the title means that she handles contracts or if it's actually out of her duties. And what's someone who looks younger than herself doing actually working for a company like this one? The bigger question is if it matters at all.
"If you work here than you probably shouldn't worry about things I have to sign, unless you're trying to figure out if the lawyers actually forgot something. And from all this," She taps the huge stack of already signed paperwork with the back of her hand, "I doubt it." Before she gets distracted again she looks back down to the paper and signs it. And then a copy. And then another copy. What a pain! "Isn't all this pretty standard, anyway?"
"Oh, not really," Riko replies, "usually there aren't so many insurance forms and -definitely- not that many waivers. I don't think I've even -seen- that one..."
She points at a sheet.
"...or that one, or that one, or...wow, one of -those-?"
Riko produces a low whistle, her eyes widening theatrically.
"I thought that was just a myth!
She gives a faux shudder, raising her hands defensively - clutching the few forms she lifted from the table in front of her face, like a shield. She does all this while -still- crouched on the chair's armrest, in utter defiance of several laws governing relative weight and balance.
Kiyoko isn't about to tell Riko /why/ all those waivers and disclaimers are in there. If she wants to know she'd have to look at the cover sheet or look it up somewhere else in the company. She'd have half a mind to tell her if she didn't like other people knowing. "Oh very funny. I get the picture so you don't have to keep rubbing it in like that. This is taking long enough without having to be teased for it too."
With that said she suddenly reaches out and tries to snatch the papers back away from Riko while she's holding them up in front of her face. "Give me those back so I can hurry up and finish."
But Riko leans to one side, stretching her arm out to full extension. A playground game of keep-away, holding the papers out of Kiyoko's immediate reach. She grins a distinctly impish grin.
"Oh dear," Riko murmurs, "why such a hurry..."
Riko locks her eyes on the other girl, as she recites the name read off the forms:
"Ki-yo-ko Fu-ka-ka-mi?"
The Justice student's eye twitches for a few moments, but she then sits back in her chair, closes her eyes and calms herself down. "Because I've been here for hours and from the looks of it I have plenty more to go. I don't want to make this any longer than it has to be." She then gives alight shrug and looks over towards Riko with her eyes without turning her head towards her, "But I guess I could use a break, since my hand is starting to cramp up.
"Mm, mm," Riko says, blandly, as she fans the handful of forms she liberated from Kiyoko's table...apparently seeing absolutely no problem with simply going through the other girl's paperwork. Far as Riko's concerned, it seems laws of privacy and decency are for /other people/.
She scans the scribbled lines, before blinking once, twice, three times - a show quite clearly put on for Kiyoko's benefit.
With a sudden burst of motion, she slides off the armrest and firmly onto the seat proper, bouncing onto the cushion. She smacks the papers back on the table, palm down onto the horizontal surface.
"If the evil paperwork is -already- beating you, how do you expect to deal with fists and feet, hmmmm?"
"Through perseverance. Just because I'm down doesn't mean I'm out. I'm not going to give up, it's just a real pain." That's probably a cop out, but it's good enough for her. But now that the papers are back down on the table she lazily reaches down to pick up the next in line and begins reading it, "All of these seem to say the same thing, though. If something horrible happens to me it's my own fault and my family can't sue them for it." She lets out a little sigh, "Do they really have to go through /every/ possible reason this could kill me? With all this I can hardly believe my parents signed off on it..."
"Weeeeellll," Riko drawls, stretching out the word to faintly ridiculous lengths, "nobody's actually -died- on SNF...I think. Not for a while anyway. Not /permanently/. Those were all like, y'know, Elvis-deaths, not like bits of corpse splattered all over internationally broadcast television deaths."
She nods firmly as she says it, adopting an expression that's -almost- solemn.
Riko leans back in her chair, clapsing her hands together.
"'course," she continues, sagely, "there's always a first. Who knows? You could make history! Might boost ratings!"
Kiyoko makes a half smirking face, "I'm sure having a teenager die on live television is just what's needed to give Saturday Night Fight a whole new level of popularity." She frowns at the paper, "They're just handling me with kid gloves now. Who's going to intentionally break my neck with enough force to kill me." She looks up from the paper and over to Riko, "Is that one in the normal disclaimers?" She puts it down on the table and signs the paper without bothering to stretch her fingers this time. "I guess if they do want someone to die on TV it'll probably be me, since I'm basically saying it's okay if they kill me for no reason right here."
"Ooooh," Riko arches an eyebrow, "I'm -sure- it won't come to that. Surely you'll never need to fight..."
Riko lifts a hand, ticking names off on her fingers.
"...Ryuji Yamazaki, Freeman, Vice, Mature..."
Her eyes glint, then. Riko leans forward, coming halfway out of her seat, bringing her face closer to Kiyoko's, before finishing, with a smile:
"...me."
The names are listened to with interest, especially considering that they're rather recognizable. ...no, it probably wouldn't be good if she was shoved into a fight with the likes of them, would it? It's a risk she's willing to take, though. The last part gets a bit of a smirk from her, "You'd stoop so low as to breaking my neck? I guess you might if you were ordered to, since you do seem to work for the company." She picks up the next paper and breaks eye contact. "Ninja are all completely mercenary, after all." Complete conjecture on both the fact that she's a ninja and that they're mercenary.
"Oh, we're not -completely- mercenary. We just have a firm commitment to client satisfaction and maintaining the high service standards of our core business."
Riko says this without batting an eye, her face perfectly serious, perfectly straight.
She indicates the Geese Tower pass hanging round her neck. It is indeed a contractor's pass, giving access to the building for a service provider. Normal, run-of-the-mill, but also with a blank space where the name of the company she represents is /supposed/ to go.
"In an increasingly competitive market, that is our unique selling point. Our business partners know that we can be trusted. Very important."
"I take it that means you'll break the neck of anyone not in your own ninja clan? That's not very comforting." She's not sure whether to take any of this seriously or not. At least it's a bit of a distraction though. She can't read through the papers near as fast if she's talking to someone, but it helps take her mind off all the ways they're telling her she could die.
"I'm not so sure about that," Kiyoko states, "If I was going to hire you, how would I know that you hadn't already been hired by someone else to try and gain my trust and then strike when I least expected it? That sounds sneaky enough for a ninja to try it to me."
"Well," Riko answers, conversationally, "you could always file a complaint with the Better Business Bureau."
As she speaks, she drops her gaze to the table, letting her eyes wander across the myriad documents spread out in front of Kiyoko - some signed, some not. Without asking for permission, she picks up a pencil, stretches her arm forward, and circles a paragraph of fine print at the bottom of a form.
"Better ask about that one," she offers, helpfully, "make sure your insurance covers -that-, because Howard Enterprises won't. Meanies."
"I'm sure you'd have them infiltrated. Either that or I'd be dead by the time they finally got around to my case." Kiyoko takes a look down at the bit that's circled and reads over it a little. "I think it's covered, but it probably doesn't matter anyway." Another paper goes down and gets signed, as are it's pair of copies. "This would be so much faster if they'd just let me sign them without reading. But complaining isn't going to get me anywhere."
She reaches up with one hand and scratches a little at the inside of her arm before letting it fall back down. She blinks at one of the next papers and looks at it a little closer before looking over to Riko, "Do people's clothes actually get torn off /that/ often?"
"Sometimes," Riko replies, noncommitally. She looks up from the papers, giving Kiyoko a critical eye. She studies the other girl, making a show of peering at her hair and clothing from head to toe, taking in her yellow blouse, dark skirt, and shoes.
"I suppose," Riko says, somewhat speculatively, "you could do the whole goth emo girl thing, got the build and color for that. There's fans who like it."
Riko nods soberly.
"Not as big a market share as Miz Shiranui, but not everyone comes with pneumatic dual suspension."
Kiyoko raises an eyebrow as she's studied, staying relatively still during it. She then lets out a little laugh, "I think that's the -last- thing I'd actually dress up as. But I've already decided that I'm going to fight in my traditional Tai Chi uniform anyway." She then looks back to the desk, "If I ever finish all the paperwork, anyway." As for Mai Shiranui, "I think how that woman keeps her chest from falling out has to be one of the highest of ninja secrets."
"I suspect surgical tape," Riko says, with a vaguely conspiratorial air, "though evil blood rituals involving the sacrifice of souls cannot be ruled out. Never discount the blood ritual."
She nods her head, her expression profoundly serious.
Riko reclines in her chair, propping her feet up on the table, crossing her legs at the ankles.
"But a Tai Chi outfit, that ain't bad. I'm sure there's -some- fans out there who have a fetish for it, so it can't hurt ratings!"
"I...guess that'd do it." She then manages a small grin, "I bet every tabloid within a hundred miles would eat it up if you told them she had souls of the dead in her breasts. That'd at least explain why they're so animated."
A fetish? Is Riko trying to get a rise out of her or is she just being a smart aleck in general, Kiyoko wonders. "There aren't many fighters who use it so I might as well represent it with the traditional uniform." Chun Li usually wears a Chinese dress, at least.
"Yeah," Riko says, nodding with a knowing grin, "and the fact you're Japanese is like, entirely besides the point."
She brings a hand to her face, thumb and forefinger extended, resting beneath her chin. She tilts her head, striking a pose.
"Yeap, -definitely- symbolic."
"Symbolic?" Kiyoko gets a look on her face that easily betrays the fact that she hasn't a clue what Riko means by that. She lets it go and begins reading again while talking. "There are lots of people all over the world who practice Tai Chi that aren't Chinese, though." After a short moment she adds, "What is your job here supposed to be, anyway? Pestering the clients so they can't get anything done?"
"Oh," Riko replies, breezily, "I'm just here to check on some IT stuff my boss supplies to Mister Howard. Regular on-site servicing is part of the contract, you see."
She makes a small enigmatic hand gesture, still leaning back in the chair. Leaving it up to Kiyoko's imagination as to exactly /what/ modern-day ninja could have provided Geese Howard with, and precisely how the attentions of a little undersized kunoichi would help.
A puzzle, that one.
"But you looked all sad puppy and stuff."
"If I'm sad it's only because I have so many papers to read and sign." That and the fact that the idea of her own death is being constantly shoved into her mind by what she's reading. Kiyoko looks over to Riko and ponders, "IT stuff, huh? What's that, some sort of ninja auto neck-breaking device to be implemented in future fights?"
"I'd tell you," Riko retorts, getting up from her chair, "but then I'd have to..."
Pause.
"...well, prob'ly not kill," she muses, as her skate wheels hit the floor, "that'd mess up the carpets."
The ninja girl scratches the back of her head, before lifting a mobile phone from her pocket and checking the time.
"Speakin' of stuff, I gotta get back to work. Good luck with the forms!"
Kiyoko adds helpfully, "Not if you snapped my neck. But I think I'd rather not find out, if that's the case." She then nods a little, "Yea, thanks. If you ever come up with a device that'll read documents and legally sign them let me know." With how things have been going so far it won't surprise her if there's a lawyer getting ready to round the corner with an armful more papers for her.
"A device that reads documents and legally signs them?"
Riko rubs her chin, mulling over the problem. Then her eyes brighten. She snaps her fingers.
"Already been done, I'm afraid."
Grinning, she indicates the pen in Kiyoko's hand.
"It's called a Fukakami-chan!"
Kiyoko actually lets out a little laugh, "I guess. I suppose I was what I was hoping for all along. Everyone should be so lucky." She takes another quick look at the name badge, "Guess I'll see you around, Koganei-chan."
Riko lifts a hand as she leaves.
"Ja."
Log created on 09:16:25 11/10/2007 by Riko, and last modified on 09:49:58 11/11/2007.