Description: This time without interruptions, Kentou begins his first lesson! And already the boy is way over his head. Doing the one thing Kentou has never before even begun to attempt in his entire life. A challenge the likes of which he has never before dreamed of conquering. ... Listening?
Time to try this again! Another late Friday afternoon before the weekend settles in. A window in the busy life of the student, teacher, and professional fighter that is Hotaru Futaba. A message was left for Kentou to come back to the quiet church property once more. This time Hotaru made a special effort to inspect the acreage outside of the building for any signs of any of her litany of enemies she has to worry about and as best she could tell, things were safe as could be for a change.
There is no one in the yard itself even when Kentou shows but the old, wide wooden door that leads into the chapel properly hangs open, a standing invitation to venture inside. The building itself inside is simple enough. A foyer at first, with a door off to one side leading to a small bathroom while a door in the other side opening into what used to be a pastor's office, but is so full of random stuff that it has clearly been turned into a storage closet of sorts.
Beyond the foyer is the chapel room itself. Wooden pews, some covered with blankets to suggest that from to time, people might actually catch some sleep within the quiet building. Stained glass windows line the walls, aglow with the late afternoon sun, filling the long room with myriad colors pouring through various images lifted from holy writ.
At the front of the chapel is the slightly raised stage atop which the wooden pulpit sits. At one time righteous, vigorous sermons were given from the no quiet podium. Now it simply serves as a backrest for the girl seated on the floor at the base of it, centered at the aisle that bisects the rows of pews along the length of the room. Her legs folded underneath each other in a meditative stance, her forearms resting lightly on her knees. Hotaru's eyes are closed and her breathing steady, controlled. Every time she inhales, her right hand, closed in a loose fist, is set aglow with a faint but visible red-orange aura that melts away as she exhales.
Wooooo, that was a rush!
The boy finally manages to make it to the Church grounds proper. Leaping up and over the gate, planting a hand on the topmost rail as he vaults over. Landing on his feet before all but collapsing on his bum, legs spread out and dropping his duffle bag at his side. Leaning aback against the metalwork behind him with an audible clang, the youth takes a moment to catch his breath.
That Mignon.. Man what an obstinant girl! For a moment there, Kentou was worried that magical witch was actually going to catch him. Thankfully, it would seem he managed to make some temporary truce and be on his way. It remains to be seen, of course, how long that will hold up. But for now? Thankfully.. he made it JUST in time.
After spending a minute or two gasping for air like a fish out of water, only then does Kentou shamble back up to his feet. Pushing away from the gate and dusting off his baggy pants, the youth takes a quick looksee around the yard. Eyes lingering juuuust a bit longer about that tree he was ambushed from last time and similarly looking about with a smidge of paranoid concern.
However, the detail Kentou ends up most concerned with is the lack of his mentor. With a puzzled frown the boy begins to venture about, noticing the door to the chapel itself is open.. the youth intrepidly ventures forth. Leaving his bag behind for now as he squints into the slightly darker interior.
Bare feet hardly making a sound upon the cool surface of the Church floor, the small warrior peers about at the European-style temple. The youth can't claim to be a huge fan of the Christian architecture. Something about it always gives him the willies, a vaguely sad.. remorseful feeling. An aching meloncholy ascentuated by the beautiful mosaics of stained glass.
It isn't long until the boy begins walking down the center aisle, wide eyes sweeping back and forth before coming to a rest on the meditating Hotaru. The boy offers a slow smile, beginning to raise his hand before slowly lowering it-Realizing Hotaru is quite distracted inwardly at the moment. Deciding that he'd best not disturb his master until she was good and ready, the youth looks about himself.. considering seating on the nearest pew. Although..
..Gaze returning to the girl as his eyes narrow a little. Perceptively noting the color of her fist. ..'Magic' indeed. Although.. huh.. isn't that the wrong color?
She remains in that position for a while after Kentou arrives, as if his footsteps and quiet padding through the old fashioned styled church building have gone completely unheard. Breath in, breath out, over and over. Slow, controlled, as if she's very much aware of her breathing rate and is maintaining it at just the right pace for a specific reason.
But the young boy's presence doesn't go ignored for too long. Her expression shifts from a quiet solemnity into a faint trace of a smile. Good, he's come. He sounds out of breath though, the young pupil's lungs still recovering from whatever it is that got him here in such a hurry. Perhaps he was running beind or was late?
Hotaru exhales, the almost flame like essence fading from her right fist, and she opens both of her eyes, looking toward Kentou from her seated position on the floor. Expression warming even further as she sees that despite his pressed breathing, he appears to be in fine condition otherwise.
"Hello, Kentou," the girl states, sounding peacefully calm, almost as if having just recently awoken. "It sounds like you got here in a hurry." She inhales again, this time a normal breath, shoulders slouching forward a little as she leans against her knees, apparently content to stay seated with her legs folded like so for now. "Trouble?"
For long moments, Kentou remains transfixed as he stares at the ember-like glow upon Hotaru's hand. Head tilting as he squints across the distance, wondering why it seems so.. out of place on her. A vaguely unsettling feeling, but one that fades quickly as Hotaru seems to revive.
Snapping to attention, Kentou immediately squares his shoulders, clapping his heels together and clapping his right fist to his left palm, sword in sheath. Bowing at the waist, Kentou speaks, "Sensei. I'm ready to begin my lessons!" Voice trying to be formal, but completely unable to hide the glee behind his tone. Expression tight, but that smile peeks out at the corners of his small lips.
As boundlessly energetic as the boy is, it doesn't take long for him to recover from a trifle as.... running across town and outrunning someone after that. Still, the boy cannot hide his winded breath as he answers with a slight shake of his head, "N..No Sensei. No trouble! ...Nothing I.. I couldn't handle." He stammers. No sense in troubling his teacher over such small trifles!
"Hm, okay," Hotaru replies as Kentou insists whatever got him breathing like that was nothing of importance. She's more than content to respect that he doesn't want to answer. Since he doesn't look hurt it can't matter too much she figures. "Well, then, since there's nothing to worry about, it sounds like we should get to training."
The girl looks the eager student over thoughtfully. She's never done this before. Oh, of course, she's taught kids at the YFCC how to do simple blocks, throw a basic punch, and so forth. But this? What Kentou needs? This is so much more than that. In a sense she will be taking him over the path she was lead along so many years ago. It's only a bit harder since she has to figure out what he needs to agument what it is he's figured out on his own already.
Closing her eyes, she leans the back of her head against the pulpit once more. "Tell me, what is it you hear?" she asks before falling quiet herself. Is this some kind of trick question? She doesn't seem to act as if it is, since the girl simply remains quiet as if to imply that the only one to break the silence next is going to be him.
As Hotaru announces the lesson to begin, Kentou lifts up his head from his bow. Eyes bright and shining as he trembles in excitement! Fists balled at his sides as he stifles a small squeal. Finally!
What lesson will she begin with? What incredible ancient Kenpo secret will she divulge that only the greatest of their kind could hope to impart? Certainly a wisdom passed down parent to child for over a thousand years and just hearing its details, whispered in hushed, reverent tones, will grow his power ten fold!
As she closes her eyes and seems to concentrate, Kentou holds his breath in his throat. Eyes wide as he prepares to witness a miracle of technical prowess unfold! Oh what glory will he now see that-that..
..Wait.. what? Huh?
Kentou blinks awkwardly for a moment. Hearing something? Admittedly, his heart is kinda loud in the back of his ears at the moment, but... something? The boy strains, trying to listen for something.. something profound. Something that perhaps he didn't hear or see on the way in. Pursing his lips and slowly looking around..
...Nothingness. Only the softness of his carefully exhaled breath. The boy's gaze roams about again, looking a little more desperate as he begins to stammer, "..I.. I think I heard a car... maybe? Down the street? That.. that sounded like someone hitting the brakes a little hard I think.. uh.."
He should be hearing something.. Argh, what is it?!
"Good ears," Hotaru smiles faintly at his stammering answer. But she doesn't open her eyes nor show signs of letting him off the hook with that response. "But so far away. Tell me what you can hear closer. Every sound," she emphasizes.
Indeed the chapel is a pretty quiet place to ask someone to try and listen for sounds. But even were someone to be here completely by oneself, there would still be sounds to be heard. Externally, or perhaps internally.
She inhales. "Relax," she encourages, her own voice quite relaxed in demeanor. "There is no hurry, no need to rush to provide an answer until you are ready to give one." She exhales slowly.
The boy's smile widens in a hopeful moment! With that compliment the youth figures he indeed managed to answer the riddle.. Although that smile slowly wilts as she completes her thought. He begins to blurt out something to the effect of 'getting another chance to answer' but then nodding rapidly to her further criteria.
Okay.. Okay. Closer then. He can do this, he can do this.
Kentou again holds his breath, trying to will his heart to stop beating so loudly, but only beats harder and faster in reply. A droplet of sweat rolls down his face, straining to listen.
But, frantic effort is how Kentou solves his problems. There's always an answer and its just about how fast and how hard he can reach that answer. Speed and conviction is everything!
Argh, if only he could hear it. What is she listening to? It has to be there, just outside of his perceptions. Taunting him.
The boy's mouth opens several times, only to abruptly clap his mouth shut.. not liking the answer that dances on the tip of his tongue. Over and over again, wanting to get the answer right.
Relaxing.. Is far, faaaaar from his mind. After all, the boy seems to never relax. Always in motion. Even now, trying to be still, he's a little dynamo of movement. Fists trembling at his sides, bare toes wiggling on the cool floor in nervous contemplation as his head tilts this way and that, trying to hone in on a signal that his senses repeatedly tell him simply is not there.
The one thing he does not do, is throw in the towel in frustration. No, he isn't giving up! He'll be here for hours if he has to. Kentou will die of thirst in this very spot before giving up. He gave up once, and he'll never himself do it again!
Of course, the visible turmoil on a boy struggling to listen is almost comical.
Perhaps there is a desire to end his torment, ease his turmoil. The girl seated calmly on the floor could list any number of things she hears. The ruffle of his clothing as he fidgets. The shifting of his feet against the smooth, wooden floor - polished by the young caretaker only a month or so ago. His breathing rate, quick, nervous, perhaps a little frustrated but not entirely given to anxiety. The sound of her own slow, controlled breathing as she waits patiently for him to narrow his field of focus. Down the street... outside the building... too far. Irrelevant.
But while Kentou no doubt hears some of those things, accompanied no doubt by the pounding of his own heart, he isn't truly listening. Far too agitated. "Try sitting down, that might help," the girl states. Her voice remains soothingly calm. Patient. As if hours could pass by and she woudn't mind.
"Concentrate not on my question. But on being calm, composed. The question will answer itself in due time. All you need to do is focus."
The boy quickly nodds to Hotaru's suggestion, needing little prompting to be off his legs for just a few moments as he quickly collapses down into a cross-legged position in a single smooth motion. Arms flopping over his legs as his eyes squeeze closed.
The problem is laid bare to Hotaru's observations. Kentou is struggling, fighting the nothingness in a bid to wring its secrets forth. Forcing the truth to become evident through hard work and blunt contemplation.
The little details.. The soft brush of his braids over the smooth floor, the rustle of his silk clothing on his frame as he sits, the soft rush of his own breath. These things are lost to him. Trivial, irrelevant. Unprofound. In his wild search for the choirs of angels or the metaphysical answers unlocked from the atmosphere itself.. He misses the point.
%It's like a dog chasing his own tail to exaustion. When all he had to do was sit.. and wait.
His own unfailing attachment to his cause works against him in this moment. Not letting himself relax, not letting himself just simply.. be.
This is not to say Kentou is completely ignoring Hotaru. Her latter comment is clearly heard as he nods precisely once, trying to force the agitation from his body. Which.. in a way.. makes him even more agitated.
Focus. How can Kentou focus if there's nothing for him to focus upon? Its a maddening thing. And.. it begins to make him worry. What if a smarter fighter could have figured it out by now? What if he isn't actually good enough? What if she's incredibly disappointed? What if..
In silence, you can't hide from yourself. Forced to confront your worries and anxieties head on, which isn't something anyone can overcome by being faster or stronger. And the truth, is slowly openned. The boy's spirit is like a raging tempest. Out of order and filled with furies of conflict. Untangling the chaotic mess of his worries and lingering attachments is.. a hard thing.
Focus. Calm. Focus. Calm... Calm faster, darnit!
"Keep listening," come those words. By now the encouragement may be nigh maddening to the boy who probably thinks he's DOING that already. But she says them all the same. Inhale. Exhale. Slow, controlled, relaxed. A quiet smile on her lips. By now she can hear his heart beating - the organ pounding in his chest as the young boy continues to stew in his own restlessness.
"When fighting... when really doing your best... sometimes you have to focus inward as well as on the what goes on around you. Narrow your scope, smaller and smaller, until it is just you and your opponent, completely alone in the world. Nothing else matters. You can't concentrate on what you can't control. All you can focus on is yourself and who you fight..." Inhale. Exhale.
"Picture yourself alone here." It's easy enough to do. The very atmosphere itself is heavy with a certain longing, as if the chamber was heavy with the memories of those who met here years ago before the little congregation outgrew the old chapel. The babies baptized, the sermons given, the weddings performed. Ghosts of times long past are perhaps easy company when trying to relax. "My mother would often stand in the yard outside of this very building and listen to the bells ring even though she never once came inside. Just hearing their songs up close was all she needed from this building. Right now you need only to relax." Her eyes remain closed the entire time, her voice constantly steady, not wavering, showing no signs of that impatience or disappointment he dreads. Simple composure in its purest form.
%Keep listening, she says.
Kentou exhales audibly at that, teeth gritting behind closed lips as his eyes remain tightly shut. Slowly, however.. The boy begins to genuinely relax little by little, listening to his mentor's words as she begins to explain what kind of focus she's speaking of..
Kentou often focuses on his opponent. Using his kiai method, the boy dispels distractions away from him.. Focusing solely on his opponent. Letting nothing else exist in the world save his enemy. And that method is not tranquil. An abrupt, controlling shout.. attacking anxiety and assaulting turmoil and quelling them into obedience.
However.. As Hotaru points out the detail, Kentou never includes himself in that focus. Always focusing on what his enemy is doing. How They are moving, how They are defending themselves, how They could mount a counter attack. Rarely does he pay attention to where he was.. or what he was doing.
This new line of thinking affords him a new measure of peace. Calming down little by little as he's finally uncovered something he can begin to wrap his mind around. Deepening the bow of his head, Kentou listens to her advice and her story. Thoughts swept away and crafting that evocative image in his mind's eye.
In the silence of the church and her calm, serene voice he can almost hear those bells now. Tolling the Church's peaceful solemnity.
Only then, in this shared rememberance, does Kentou begin to reflect Hotaru's own quiet. No longer twitching, trembling or otherwise travailing in place. His breathing growing even and regular as his heart relinquishes its relentless percussion.
She can hear the change. Her eyes remain closed yet she can see his face all the same. Scrunched up at first, jaw tightened as teeth press together while he tries to force that which /cannot/ be forced. The image in her head evokes a quiet smile that fades slowly over time. It's amusing but this is not some whimsical game she's playing with him but rather a very critical component of him improving his skill against other people.
His eyes remain shut, the squinting giving way slowly as the girl shares some of her own memories of the past. She pictures her mother, alive, herself standing at her side a much younger girl. The two of them standing outside, gazing up at the bellfry as the hour approaches for the bells to ring. She pictures it especially now for the very clarion of which she spoke moments ago is about to begin.
It starts slow - the solemn ringing of a soletary, heavy bell, mounted in second floor of the old church building. Deep, resonating bass. Solo for only so long before joined by another bell, and another. The sound is incredibly loud, breaking the silence of the chapel with their musical chimes, drowning out all other sounds for a while.
But the song lasts for only so long before they dwindle out, each bell ringing its last then falling silence, one by one, until the lone bass remains. Deep, vibrating the entire structure with its reverberations.
Then the two within the chapel are bathed once again in silence. Teacher and student seated on the floor of that old house of worship. "Tell me," Hotaru speaks after several seconds. "What are you listening to now? What can you hear?"
Even as those loud, rich bells begin to fill the air.. The boy does not startle. The serenity of his expression only grows as the reality slowly catches up with his fantasy. In any other moment.. Even as little as minutes ago.. the boy would have lept to his feet and started swinging at the air in a display of high-strung anxiety.
Thoughts already aligned to this sonic majesty, the only stir the boy makes is slowly tilting his head back to better allow the sound to wash over him in a cascade. The deep resonance permiating his form, harmonizing with his very bones and .. he could swear.. renewing his spirit.
A moment of perfect beauty, seated in the midst of a sacred house. No longer worrying, no longer afraid, no ambitions or concerns. All that is left in what was once a raging tempest of his thoughts.. Is stillness.
As the bells finish their masterpiece, the boy achieves utter calm. Limbs motionless, his chest rising and falling with perfect, clockwork regularity. His expression free of trouble or conflict. Answering his Master's question in a quiet whisper without thought,
"Peace."
Hotaru is silent for a long time. He might even question if he answered correctly if he lets that anxiety slip back in. But perhaps he realizes she is enjoying that exact same experience right along with him. Peace. Freedom from cares. Worries. Fears.
Minutes pass before she finally speaks, slowly opening her blue eyes to study her student in earnest. "Kenpo requires that peace to be used to its fullest." the girl explains finally. "When doubts slip in the style begins to fail us. I've seen it myself, time and time again. This lesson was not meant just for you," the girl continues, her quiet smile returning slowly.
"Believe it or not, it is possible to focus just like this in a fight. When the pain is distracting or the odds seem too hard, it is essential to concentrate. Not on just our opponents. But on ourselves. How are our emotions clouding our ability to fight? Are we striking out with anger? With fear?" She exhales a little, perhaps weighed down by her own shortcomings in this very subject.
"When we are truly at peace with ourselves, that's when we can use Kenpo to its fullest. Strike truer, react with greater precision. But you can't accomplish this in the heat of battle if you cannot even do it in the peaceful tranquility this building offers." Perhaps the building was unsettling to Kentou at first, but right now it became just the site needed for this lesson.
"Throughout the upcoming week I want you to find time to focus, concentrate, relax just like we did here. It can be hard to find the right place or time." She pictures the hectic dock, the busy bait shop during the early hours. But surely the boy must find some quiet time at some point. If he truly seeks it for a change. Yeah, he might have to struggle to find the right place and time. "In fact, I want you to come back here each afternoon, after all your work is finished, in order to spend time relaxing like this." But that's not all. "And I want you to run here and back every time. As fast as you can. Some times I may be here, others I might not. But I'll know if you're sticking to it when the next lesson starts," she promises with a bit of a grin. Oh, she'll know if he practiced all right.
Anxiety slipping back in? No.
Kentou could be floating in this moment. The boy feels weightless; light and swift without motion or effort. Now that he's finally managed to reach this state... He finds himself unwilling to leave it. Which works even better, as there is no noise or complication in his thoughts as Hotaru issues her teachings. No overcomplicated thinking or worried about what she really meant or what he should really do. The noiseless wavelength of his mind absorbs the information fully, though outwardly he may even seem like those words are being ignored.
Memories flood his mind at his mentor's words. Of anger; That Mad Gear Shogun rampaging through Chinatown. Of fear; That monsterous Blanka roaring at him in that wild storm. Could he have acchieved this.. serenity then, in those circumstances? ... Probably not, he would be forced to admit. Would this serenity have helped him to confront those moments? ... Most likely.
It is this worry that slowly begins to erode his tranquility. Like a single sour note unraveling the whole symphony in slow inexorable entropy. Soft eyes quietly openning as he looks upon Hotaru once more.. and sees her less than he could moments ago. Stopping and finding peace inside of a war? How could that even BEGIN to be possible? It took him.. like.. forever to do it here. Frankly.. He's.. He's never quite felt like that before. At least.. Not to his recollection. Perhaps long ago..
"Y..Yes, Sensei.." Beginning to stammer again as her edict is understood. The boy definitely agrees that he'll need to work on this. If there's anything he can easily understand from this lesson.. It's that repetition and practice is key, like any skill. Hardwork is something he can grasp. Hardly working... Is something different.
As she comments about the difficulties of finding a good place to practice this kind of thing, his eyes roam the smooth floor before him. Already worrying about it as he can't think of a single quiet spot anywhere near where he lives... But her following statement makes that a whole lot easier as he looks back up and nods eagerly.
Yeah! Yeah. This place works, this place works very well. At her final criteria, the boy actually sniggers. Grinning brightly as he beams to that order, "Yes, Sensei!" The boy does enjoy sprinting at top speed, the exhilaration such wild racing can bring is its own kind of Zen.
All in all.. Well, at least Kentou managed to prove to himself that such things are even -possible-... Under completely ideal conditions and after many minutes of constant concentration and meditation. ... How to do it on the fly with someone over twice his size trying to punch his lights out? ...Thats.. thats another story. Eh-heh..
Hotaru relaxes as Kentou agrees to the first lesson he is expected to repeat throughout the week. It isn't written on her face. Oh no, she keeps her nervousness well hidden for once. But to gave Kentou understand now what she hoped he might is a great relief. A small shot of confidence as it were. Maybe she really can do this!
"Okay," she replies, smile readily apparent on her face as she breaths in again and at long last shifts out of that folded leg pose she had maintained for quite a long while now. Her legs must be a little stiff because she actually has to use the back of the podium to pull herself up to her feet, leaning against it while a bit of a twitch works its way through her expression at the tingling running down one of her legs.
"When you practice..." She knows he must spend time on his own, since he couldn't have gotten to where he has just sitting around, "... take moments to pause and concentrate, just like did here. It will take some time before you get the feel for how you might be able to get into such a state so quickly in a fight. But I know you'll get it. Just keep working at it," the young teacher explains. Judging by her tone and demeanor, she has every confidence he'll understand this lesson eventually. A week? Maybe not. But in time.
She glances to the side. The stained glass windows are dimmer now. The boy may not realize it but an entire hour has passed since he stepped foot within the tranquil building. A short lesson this time. The first ones always are. "That's all for now. On one of the afternoons you come by to practice concentrating, we will have another lesson." the girl states firmly.
A short lesson perhaps, but it was not trivial.
Kentou is forced to admit to himself that... He never would have figured out even that small first step alone. Gaze roaming the floor once again, eyes reflecting his contemplation. Sure, the boy knows vaguely how clarity and calm is essential. Most deceptively of all, he actually only had half of the truth. In many ways, a half-truth is the most difficult illusion to conquer. Focusing on the moments of your opponent is useless, if you don't pay much as much attention to your own state of being.
Just calming himself down enough to even understand it, to taste it.. The boy never even considered it before. Its a lesson that didn't even occur to him was possible.
That, more than anything, proves how much he needs this. How much he needs her. It's an insight that Kentou can't find anywhere else, and certainly not on his own. Perhaps the youth won't figure it out in a week.. perhaps even longer.. But it would have been -never- otherwise.
"Yosh!" Kentou resolves, hands gripping into fists as he hops up to his feet in that same motion. Energized and renewed, hardly feeling the exertion of running across town earlier. His body trembling once more with excitement as he quickly palms his fist once more and bows deeply and sincerely, "Yes, Sensei! Thank you, Sensei!" It will take him awhile but.. He feels like.. He feels like he'll figure it all out as long as he has her!
The boy's gaze lingers upon Hotaru after his dismissal. Softened gaze filled with an appreciation that can only be described as awe. Reverence.
In a pique of self-consciousness, Kentou then abruptly turns away and -dashes- from the Church. Charging forth to face the rest of his day and let that exertion churn what he's learned here through his mind and punctuate his determination!
Log created on 22:28:33 10/12/2007 by Kentou, and last modified on 04:06:58 10/13/2007.