Description: After leaving Alma's apartment, at least partially healed, Mizuki turns to the Shrine to find comfort--and runs into Frei. Their discussion about family and what it means gives Mizuki new resolve... but doesn't answer allher questions.
It's been a rough weekend, to say the least; what was a potentially romantic interlude interrupted by, of all things, a specter from Mizuki's past. Or, at least, her family's path. The fight was short, and intense, and even though in the end, Mizuki gave out almost as good as she got... she still got beaten by Kimi, the odd girl who is so like her and yet not. Rescued by Alma, she had another embarrassing interlude, waking up in Alma's apartment...
Finally with her clothes cleaned and dried, she left the model and team leader's apartment. But, feeling dispirited, and confused, she found herself not heading for her dorm at Justice, or even the YFCC...
...but the Shrine of Southtown. Disused, abandoned, it's still more comforting than her dorm room and she doesn't want to be around too many people. The YFCC is comforting, but too busy... So here she is. But she isn't sweeping up like she is usually, or anything like that; she's sitting on the crumbling stone steps, gazing up and out with unfocused eyes.
Apparently it hasn't been the best weekend for many members of the Glory Hounds. Frei's long conversation with Hotaru should have left him feeling relieved, but in fact it just left him feeling troubled and restless. Having left the abandoned Christian church near Southtown Village -- an odd, mirror image of this very abandoned shrine -- he actually simply started walking, and didn't stop. For a very, very long time.
The sun is high in the sky before he even seems to recognize where he is in the first place, well outside of the city's confines and wandering out into the forested areas near the suburbs. His first stop is a convenience store to get a bottle of water and some red bean buns, considering it's actually been some time since he ate or drank last... yet once he's outside, snack in hand, he seems to feel a little better.
The shrine is nearby, and is guaranteed to be a quiet place to eat and think things over, so it's there that Frei heads. He whistles as he climbs the long steps toward the shrine grounds, and is probably visible and audible to Mizuki well before his red-haired head crests the stop of the stairs and the face under it blinks in surprise at the girl's presence. "...I guess it's just my day for running into religious-minded teenage girls," he jokes.
The response may not be what Frei is expecting from the normally-cheery redhead. Because normally, she would greet him with a smile and a wave and a cheerful exhortation. Instead, Frei gets a wan smile that doesn't reach her blue eyes and a fairly dull, "Frei-san... good..." She pauses, and checks her wristwatch. "... afternoon." She sounds a little surprised. Oh, and she's got some bandages showing, mostly on her arms and at her neck.
After a moment, she seems to gather herself, visibly, and she smiles a bit more genuinely. "Ah... how are you, this afternoon, Frei-san?" After a moment, she rises up, dusting her skirt off--wearing her Justice school uniform at this place, it feels weird... but she didn't feel like going home to change.
Mizuki still doesn't sound quite like herself, but she does sound a little bit better. But obviously, something is on her mind.
A more formal person would probably exchange greetings, or at least ask how things are, before walking over and sitting down next to a girl in this sort of scenario. Frei is none of the above and thus walks right over, finding space on the step next to Mizuki, and plunks right down, setting the convenience store bag between his legs and leaning down to rummage inside. Eventually he yanks out a rather large bottle of water and a reasonably large container with a huge stack of anpan buns inside.
There's a moment where he actually doesn't *say* anything. He uncaps the bottle and takes a swig, then sets it down, removes a bun for himself, and then offers it to Mizuki with a smile.
"You," he starts, taking a deep breath, "look like someone with something on her mind."
Rather automatically, Mizuki reaches out, taking one of the buns, though she doesn't take a bite. She inspects it, flipping it over between her hands, then back to the golden brown top. It looks delicious, really. But the bite she finally takes doesn't seem to cheer her up much.
Though she doesn't -really- know Frei that well, in all consideration, she feels like she does. Like he's trustworthy. And he's a fellow Glory Hound. That counts for a lot, too.
"I..." She trails off. She doesn't really know where to start--unlike Alma, Frei wasn't there to meet Kimi, and... and well, Mizuki didn't even get the girl's name. It was kind of hard to, what with the fighting and all.
"... Family is complicated," she says, finally.
There's a moment where Frei, eating as he listens, suddenly stops doing everything, holding a bun in his mouth mid-chew in a comical sort of way... but the sudden flicker in those green eyes suggests that this is not some sort of rude attempt to cheer Mizuki up. After a second or two he finishes eating the pastry in question, grabbing the water bottle and taking a long, sudden swig before setting it back down. The timing, the content of the conversation... all too close to be coincidence.
"It is at that," he finally says, leaning forward and putting his elbows on his knees, cupping his chin with both hands. Family... a topic of discussion he not long ago broached with Hotaru Futaba. It's as if he's swung full circle, moving from the same discussion with two different people in the appropriate setting. "They're the only thing in our lives that we never had any say in and can't control or mitigate in any way, I think. So when there's issues, they're always... the worst of the worst."
Mizuki hears... but when she speaks, it's as if she herself is simply continuing her own train of thought. Not that she's ignoring Frei--she isn't at all--just that she's got to figure some things out. "I don't even know her name," she says, half to herself. "I don't even know if I should -call- her family..."
But in reality, that is exactly what Kimi is... just several generations removed. Suddenly, she blinks. "I--I'm sorry, Frei-san. Something happened this weekend and I--I'm still struggling to figure what I should do... what I -need- to do..." She pauses again.
"This weekend... I was confronted by someone... who shouldn't exist."
Now there's a comment that would make someone take notice. Chewing thoughtfully, Frei turns to Mizuki with a raised eyebrow, eventually speaking once he's swallowed a mouthful of sweet bean paste and run a hand across his lips. "What, like... Mister Mxyzptlk from Superman?" Perhaps the astonishing thing is that he actually pronounces the comic book character's name correctly on the first go. Perhaps the monk has a dork streak he's never told anyone about?
However, he keeps going, hopefully cutting off any potential bad response that the jest could invoke. "I guess that explains the bandages... but what do you mean, 'shouldn't exist'? I'm guessing you mean in the sense of 'logical plausibility' and not 'I hate this person and want to explode her face with a grenade launcher'," the monk suddenly says in a stern, almost admonishing tone. "The former is cool, but the latter seems a little unlike you."
"... who?" Needless to say, Mizuki is not familiar with the lore of the Kryptonian. She takes another bite of the sweet bean bun and chews thoughtfully. "I guess..."
"My family... centuries ago, there was a... a split. And the part of the family that split off..." She shakes her head--it sounds so fantastical, really. "The part of the clan that split off took with them certain techniques that... are damaging to... the user. It was part of what caused the split. But I--we--thought they were... gone."
Mizuki smiles, mirthlessly. "And they're not. Once my clan finds out, I'll... I'll have to do something I'm not ready to do." She turns to Frei, her blue eyes questing for understanding, but not expecting to see any.
It's there.
Amazingly, against all odds, it's there. If it weren't for Frei's conversation with Hotaru, it might not have been... the monk's connections to his family, and their history, are buried so deep under layers of carefully-constructed mirth and simple denial of the issue that without some sort of event to dredge them up they're invisible. But while the Tsukitomi clan may not have experienced the same things as the Kamigawa clan, there is a history there that Mizuki might be able to see reflected in the gaijin-like features of her teammate.
Leaning back a bit, he rests his head against the wall of the shrine and looks off into the distance. "And now you know why I never bothered to learn my family's style." He's not sure if ever mentioned the swordsmanship of his mother and brothers to Mizuki; it's certainly possible, even if he claimed to Hotaru that only she and Sakura knew. Frei's not exactly Mister Memory. "That sounds like a heavy weight to be dropped in your lap at your age, though. Does it... *have* to be you? There's nobody else? Or..." Well, then the unspoken question: does it need to be done at all?
Seeing that understanding, so like Alma and yet not... it's reassuring to Mizuki. It eases some of her discomfort and her pain, even if she doesn't know, yet, what she needs or wants to do. But the questions he raises... they require some thought, to be sure. Fortunately, or perhaps unfortunately, they're questions that pretty much encompass what Mizuki has been thinking about almost constantly.
"It is a heavy weight... and I don't know if I'm ready for it. But... yes... it has to be me. This is part of what I was trained -for-... I couldn't possibly ask anyone else to do what is my duty. Even if it is something I don't want to do..."
The redhead leans back, on her elbows, gazing up at the sky. Yes... even if she doesn't like it... but perhaps goals can be changed and modified. She'll have to think about it. "Maybe I'll be lucky and she'll decide to move on."
That earns a grin from Frei, who salutes Mizuki with another anpan bun before stuffing it in his mouth and taking a big bite. The things are delicious, after all... and that sort of ridiculous overenjoyment of the everyday is part of the monk's core philosophy of life. "She might at that. You never know." He chews some more, swallows, and then sits back up, turning to look at Mizuki half over his shoulder. "The important thing is to do what's best for you, I guess... but we're not in the same position, so I don't want to presume to dictate."
After a pause, Frei leans forward again, ostensibly to get another drink from his water bottle, but in truth he stays bent forward, looking down at the ground. "Let me ask you something. What *is* it you were trained for? By... your clan, I guess." A furrowing of the brow as he puzzles this out. Hotaru learned because her parents said so, and she wanted to please them... those were her words. But what about Mizuki? "I mean, the deep down reason. It can't JUST be 'tradition'..."
"What I was trained for... believe it or not... tradition -is- a big part of it. Even though the Kamigawa clan is secretive, or maybe reclusive is a better word... or, -because- of that... tradition is so important to my clan. My training isn't -just- in martial arts and chi, of course... it's in my clan's history, our traditions. The Kamigawa aren't dying out. Part of my purpose is to help extend the clan. Someday I'll marry, and have children, and those children will also be Kamigawa, even if they don't take the training. But I'm sure some of them will."
"And I was also trained to oppose this splinter clan. Like the training, it doesn't always happen. But they are our responsibility--my responsibility, now." She shrugs, eloquently.
"I trained because I wanted to. I guess I thought it would be a life full of adventure and fun. I haven't been wrong about that. But those deeper reasons that you're talking about...I was trained because I was the best of my 'class'."
"Adventure and fun, huh..." Frei stays sitting forward for a moment, not facing Mizuki, as he processes what she just said. For Frei, whose family and style have always been this shackle he's chased in a circle, never able to leave and always trying to outrun, the idea that someone would enter into such a... stratifying way of being mystifies him. But he's wise enough to know that there's no one way to live. After all, didn't he just tell Hotaru that there is no one great answer? He eventually sits back up, holding the water bottle with both hands and swinging it back and forth between his calves, the plastic making a crinkle-bounce sort of sound as it occasionally hits Frei's legs.
Turning to look at her, Frei wears an expression of almost wistful curiosity. "So, there are others who had the potential... but you were the best choice." He pauses, thinking this through, and comes to realize that while he is ostensibly asking questions about Mizuki, he's partly seeking answers for himself too. "What would happen if you... stopped? Gave up the role, I mean."
"I... don't know, really." She hadn't ever -thought- about that question. "I guess it depends on why I would stop. I wouldn't, of course," she adds, "because I can do good with what I know... and agree with whoever it was that said that 'for evil to exist, all good men have to do is nothing'... however that went. But... I suppose it would depend. If I were so severely injured I couldn't continue? I think--I'd like to think--that my clan wouldn't begrudge me that."
She glances over at Frei, briefly. "But why would I want to quit? I've had... crises of conscience, and of heart... but I wouldn't be doing anything else. I can't even imagine... even if I didn't want to honor my family."
It's hard to tell if the expression on Frei's face is understanding or pity; either way, it might not be the expected response to Mizuki's assertion of filial duty. Lowering his eyes a bit, Frei does smile, however. "Thought experiments aren't easy, are they... you have to envision something very different from reality as you know it and then wonder, 'what would I do'?" He stops swinging the water bottle and uncaps it, taking another long drink. "But sometimes being able to take yourself out of yourself is the only way to understand the things that trouble you... bah, I'm just babbling."
Sitting back, the monk rests his arms behind his head, elbows poking out to the sides, and closes his eyes... for all intents and purposes it almost looks like he's about to take a nap leaning against that shrine. "I asked because... well. I asked for two reasons. The first is for you, because... if these other guys really are a splinter group from your clan, then they did what I just asked if you would do, didn't they? They abandoned the role of the Kamigawas. So understanding how you might act in the same situation might help you understand your enemy better." That much, at least, is true. But the monk likes Mizuki too much not to be honest with her. "And secondly... well. I'm a person who gave up on his family style to live the life he wanted. So sometimes I wonder what makes people take the choices I didn't."
"I don't think... at this point... after all this time... that their reasons really matter, anymore." She shrugs a little. "By now I think it's almost... born in, now. I don't think there's any other way for us to exist... although I would dearly love to change that..." Mizuki smiles, gently.
"And--I see. But as you said... our circumstances were and are very different, even as they're similar. I willingly accepted my training and my role, and you didn't. But I suspect our families are quite different as well," she says, softly.
Once again, she stands, dusting her skirt off. "Thank you for talking with me... it's been very helpful, Frei-san. I have to go to the YFCC now... I have a class to teach." She dips at the waist, bowing. "Until we meet again..."
Again, Mizuki gets a salute with one of the last of the red bean buns. It would appear that between the two mopey spiritualists, the snacks were devoured in something of a hurry. "I think it always matters, knowing how your opponent got to where he or she is... but that's me. And our situations are pretty different too, you've got me there. But..." Frowning, Frei reaches up and scratches his head with a single finger, almost confusedly, before continuing. "You're Mizuki, and that's that. I'd be... sad if something bad happened to you because of mistakes people made hundreds of years ago, you know?"
With that, he bites into the bun, which is delicious. In her own way, Mizuki's given Frei a lot to think about, especially in the context of meeting with Hotaru as well. Apparently the monk has some decisions to make... it's a matter of when and how, now.
Log created on 13:13:05 10/07/2007 by Mizuki, and last modified on 17:47:00 10/10/2007.