Description: She had the power. She had the strength. She could have made a difference. But instead, when Shadaloo invaded Thailand ... Acacia just watched. She could have helped. She could have gone. Many others did, some of them her friends. But that's not what she did. She stayed behind. Because she was afraid. That's a strange thing, for someone fearless as Acacia. Everyone, though, has secrets. And there's things in her past Acacia has never liked to talk about. But now, her inaction, that gives her guilt. Guilt she can't ignore, not anymore. And so, once more, she seeks Hotaru Futaba. Looking for wisdom. And maybe absolution.
There's roughly three places to go looking for Hotaru these days, with roughly equal odds of success. The church yard where Acacia had met Hotaru before. Somewhere at Gedo High where she's probably stirring up some fight with one or more of the students there. And finally, the Kyokugen Dojo.
Normally time spent at the dojo would be invested in training, training, and then some more training. The training often takes the form of exercise, chores, then more exercise. And, depending on how one looks at it, this afternoon may be different from the norm or it might just be the same as usual, just in a slightly unusal sense.
Hammer in one hand and small, metal nails in her other hand, Hotaru is pounding the heck out of some wooden boards and planks as she is hard at work erecting what appears to be a small room off to the side of the main dojo building. The craftmanship is hardly something a journeyman carpenter would be proud of, but it does at least consist of four semi-apparent walls, one with a doorway and another with a window. Ryo would normally be around coaching her in the project, but he's left the girl to her own efforts for the moment, giving her the chance to coast on her own for a bit as it were.
The hot afternoon doesn't make for a relaxing experience while she works at this, as evidenced by the frequent need to pause and wipe her brow with the shoulder of her sleeve.
Boots crunch against the path, leading from the edge of the forest. The sound of pebbles shifting, little twigs snapping beneath footfalls. It's not a silent approach, not by any means. But then, she's not exactly trying to sneak up on the place. That wouldn't be polite. And when approaching somewhere like the Kyokugen dojo, it's wise to telegraph your intentions.
And the fact that you come in peace.
Acacia knows that. She's been here at least once or twice, enough that she knows the way. And obviously, she knows who studies here.
That Hotaru's among their number, now...well, it's a small surprise. Apparently she really -is- Ryo Sakazaki's student. Interesting to know.
Acacia's not quite sure what to make of that.
She enters the dojo compound, glancing around, taking in the wooden structures, and the wide expanse of concrete ground before it.
Then she follows the hammering.
Acacia steps round the building, drawing herself short when she catches sight of Hotaru. She waits for a moment, and when Hotaru pauses to wipe her sweat away, speaks.
"Hey..."
She's kneeling at the moment, working at securing a baseboard along the bottom of one wall. The wall is a tad wobbly, which can be seen with the way it moves as she brings the hammer to bear each swing and she's trying to change that by just applying more 2x4's and nailing them in place, though that doesn't really seem to be helping a whole lot with the problem.
Still, she's determined. And when one board doesn't seem to stabilize it, she just starts attaching another one. Then another one. That this is the first time she's ever engaged in such an endeavor wouldn't be too hard to tell. Without Ryo's guidance, she's sort've struggling on her own for the moment. But that's probably
...half the point anyway.
Still, the sound of a familiar voice is a welcome reason to pause. Sitting up straight, though remaining kneeling, Hotaru glances over her shoulder with a ready smile, placing the hammer at her side. "Hello, Acacia. Nice to see you again." Been a while, 'n all, what with her spending the last several weeks in Thailand of course.
Acacia nods her head, in response to Hotaru's greeting. She smiles hesitantly, opens her mouth... then stops, blinking a few times, looking past Hotaru, her eyes roaming over the tottering edifice of planks.
"That wall...do something to offend you?"
No, it's not what she was /going/ to say.
But there are some things, once realised, that simply have to be said. This'd be one of those.
The grin that comes eventually is sheepish at first as Hotaru just shrugs a little. She picks up the hammer again and then swings it, bending one of the nails sticking out at an odd angle back into the wood with a few pounds before getting up to her feet, ditching the construction tool to the side.
"Not at first," she replies, "But it's starting to, yeah!" As if testing to see if her additional six boards are helping any, she reaches out and pushes at the wall tentatively only to have it creek a little in response. It's hard to tell how the girl feels about the improvement as she just breaths in a bit and huffs before turning back toward Acacia to give the Gedo student her full attention.
"It's a bit of a side project of mine... but anyway, would you like to come inside? Maybe get some lemonade?"
Acacia scratches the back of her head, fingers running through her silver hair. She peers at Hotaru for a second too long, her eyes unfocused. Her lips move, ever so slightly, but no sound emerges.
One foot scrapes against the ground, rubber sole dragging across dirt.
"Sure," Acacia says, finally, managing a smile, "I guess?"
She pulls her hand from her hair, gestures vaguely in the direction of the dojo. Indicating that Hotaru should lead on. The movement is slight - but just a little jerky, a bit too tightly controlled for it to be entirely natural.
The pig-tailed girl takes the lead readily enough. The route takes them to the wooden porch that surrounds the raised structure of the dojo and through one of the paper doors that was already sitting open. Inside the dining room Hotaru steps is a low, traditional table and a number of electric fans that desperately try to circulate the air. "Whew," Hotaru remarks after a moment, "I forgot how hot it is in here. How about I meet you out on the porch," she offers with a bit of a laugh before disappearing into the kitchen proper.
The sound of glasses being shuffled around, a fridge opened followed by the sound of poured liquid, then the fridge being closed again is easy enough to hear. The walls are thin here at the Kyokugen Dojo. Paper thin.
Stepping back out with a clear-glass in each hand, Hotaru offers one to Acacia with a smile, "What brings you out this way?"
Standing on said porch, Acacia turns at Hotaru's approach. She accepts the drink, somewhat awkwardly, slipping her fingers round the cool glass. She returns Hotaru's look, with her own small smile. It does, however, look vaguely forced. She begins to speak, making a little half-sound...
...but instead, quickly, lifts the lemonade glass to her lips, taking a sip.
"Thanks," Acacia says.
It's a distraction, a brief one, but it buys her another moment.
On the /other/ hand, she can't keep putting the answer off. And she knows that.
"You..."Acacia swallows another sip of lemonade, then lowers the glass.
"...were in Thailand?"
The silence after her question is a little awkward, though Hotaru has grown used to dialogs with Acacia being somewhat constrained, never quite flowing at the natural pace that she's used to exchanging words with someone. So she leaves the question hanging, lifting her own glass to her mouth to savor the drink. She made this batch, so it's a bit sweet - the sourness of the squeezed lemon juice strongly tempered by the amount of sugar added to the concoction. While Takuma's secret ingrediant might be gracious quantities of spicy salts, Hotaru's answer to any recipe is to just add more sugar.
Her inquiry isn't really answered directly as Acacia replies with a question of her own. And for several seconds Hotaru has her own turn at prolonged silence. Her expression sombers, eyes reflecting the memories the question stirs. "I was," young Futaba states, her tone subdued, craddling the cool cup in her hands as condensation forms on its outter surface.
She takes a step over to the edge of the porch, looking like she might end up taking a seat with her legs hanging over the side. But the change in posture never comes as Hotaru remains standing. "Why?" comes the natural question in exchange for her own brief answer.
Why? That's a good question. But one which draws an expression of discomfort from Acacia. She blanches, eyes half-closing, drawing back just a little. Before regaining her equilibrum with a shake of the head. Well, she was expecting it, obviously.
Just...not quite so soon.
She takes another drink from the glass, letting the cool beverage roll down her throat. It's not clear whether she even tastes it, though, or notes any sensations from it beyond a mechanical cataloguing of wet cold sweetness. This is no negative reflection on Hotaru's beverage-making skills, no slight against the other girl. Acacia's attention is simply...elsewhere.
Maybe elsewhen.
"Mn," she muses, finally, taking a breath, "well...why...did you go?"
The question elicits a partial grin, looking out of place with the deep solemnity in her blue eyes. "I asked myself that a lot... /after/ I got there." the girl admits, taking another sip, watching Acacia now. There's a somewhat self-chiding humor to her tone, as if dredging up memories of just how darn miserable it was there for the last month of her life.
"There were a lot of little things. Two strange women attacked Ryo-sensei and me here at the dojo one afternoon and claimed that they would be waiting for us in Thailand..." She shakes her head, "Not that that was any reason to go tearing off after them. We didn't really know what that was about anyway. But it made me more aware of what was going on there... started paying more attention, you know?"
One hand craddling the cup lowers, resting against her side now. "There were other things too. Little things." She speaks nothing more of the small matters that took her there. "But mainly, it was because of what happened to Sakura. I heard that she had gone missing after heading over on a humanitarian effort. I... I didn't really know what I could do about it, to be honest. But... well... I had to try." She shrugs a little, her expression suggesting that on some level she feels a little silly. After all, what could one kid hope to do in the face of so much power as had conquored the other nation.
An expression that Acacia doesn't miss. She's good at reading body language. She has to be. Words aren't her forte. So Hotaru's thoughts, they're clear to her. And Acacia's eyes narrow. She gives Hotaru an intense look. Not harsh, not accusatory, just... piercing, deep.
Abruptly, Acacia breaks contact. She lifts one hand from the lemonade glass, bringing it to her face.
"At least," she replies, "you tried. Kasugano's my friend too..."
Acacia rubs her eyes, her shoulders slumping.
"...and I...didn't."
She doesn't sound proud.
Outside on the porch leaves Hotaru able to enjoy the gentle breeze that washes over them, the scent of the nearby forest carried on the wind. No longer straining to force wood to take whatever shape she envisioned her grand bedroom to look in her mind, the chilled drink and cool zephyr provide a lot of physical comfort. Yet they do nothing to assuage the discomfort that she feels in the wake of Acacia's answer.
There is a moment of blinking, taking in the weight behind the Gedo girl's words. That she isn't sure what to say to that is written on her face. The hand that had gone to her side comes back up to craddle the cup once more, though for now she seems to have forgotten the beverage on a conscious level.
"W-why not? Does this have to do with what we talked about before? After Jiro and Dante's...?"
"...maybe."
It's a delightfully noncomittal answer. Barely an answer at all, with the way Acacia pronounces it, soft as a whisper. The sound is almost lost in the breeze.
"...yes, no..."
And now she makes even less sense. Still as a statue, Acacia stands, no longer looking at Hotaru. Her eyes wander out, beyond the porch. She gives a small shake of the head.
"Shouldn't bother you," she states, in a clearer voice, "not your problem, mine."
Acacia sets her glass down, atop a waist-height stack of wood boards resting on the porch. Then she takes a step forward.
"Sorry."
"Wait," comes the request, her voice firm yet also pleading as Acacia takes that step. "I don't... I don't think you came all the way out just to say that, did you? I mean... It isn't a bother - to have you here, that is. Are you sure you don't want to talk some more?" Talk? More? Acacia? Haha.
Hotaru looks hopeful, all the same. As if there's more she would say too, if only given the chance before the street tough girl slips away again.
But Acacia does stop, halting mid-step. Slowly, she lowers her foot the rest of the way to the ground. She turns, facing Hotaru. Acacia regards her with a level gaze.
Then she takes a breath, drawing air into her lungs. Holding it for a moment before letting it go. "You're right," Acacia admits.
She shifts her footing slightly. Her face settles into a frown - not directed at Hotaru. That's just how Acacia looks when she's thinking. Hard.
"Could have gone," Acacia says, "should have. Didn't. Afraid."
She snorts.
"Not sure you'll understand."
The pig-tailed girl takes in the words with silence. The droplets of condensation have begun to run over her fingers, though she pays the glass no mind now, holding it only because she hasn't thought of something else to do with it yet.
"I... I can't say I understand everything. But I do know what it's like to be afraid. There's been times... there have been times where I was terrified... where I said, did, or wished things I don't believe I could even talk about now." She keeps her eyes on Acacia now that the other girl is facing her again.
"But none of that matters right now. I didn't find her. She's still missing. Sakura, that is. She still needs help." Hotaru swallows, "If... if you want an opportunity to do something different than you have. To take a chance for someone else... it's not too late."
She freezes. Every muscle in her body, every tendon, every ligament, tightening to rock-hardness. Tension runs through Acacia's frame. She stands like that for a full second, two, three. Not even breathing.
Then she blinks, once, breaking the impass.
In a quiet voice, deceptively calm, Acacia says, "Perhaps."
She looks at Hotaru. "You came back?"
The question is equally soft.
"Yeah," replies Hotaru, her own expression falling a little now, her shoulders sinking slightly, her eyes dropping to gaze at the half-full glass in her hands. "I didn't know what else to do in the end. I didn't know what to do in the beginning either, I guess. I just got myself into the country and then hoped I would figure something out as I went. But..."
She shuffles her footing a little, looking back up from her glass, "I had some leads. Some clues. But they all dried up once the capital fell and everything changed, shifted priorities... They switched to celebrating and mourning. One missing girl wasn't that important to a people that had lost so many of their own family members. Siblings, children, parents... I couldn't really find any help anymore."
Hotaru shrugs a little, a mixture of regret, defeat, and frustration in her own expression. At her inability to accomplish what she had set out to do. "Travel was open again, and so I came back. I don't know what to do next. I feel like I've forgotten something... something really important that would help me find her. But I just can't remember."
Acacia peers at Hotaru carefully. Listening to each and every word. She frowns as the last words, turning them over and over again, trying to grasp the meaning. But she doesn't understand.
What Hotaru said earlier, though...
"War," Acacia murmurs, in a low, hushed tone that barely carries across the porch, "is like that."
Acacia reaches a decision. After all the other girl's revealed, she can't do any less. Hotaru's been honest with her. Open.
And, damnit, she needs to tell /someone/.
Acacia takes a breath.
"I was," she says, "born there. Not Thailand...Burma. Myanmar. Close. Too close."
Acacia smiles, wanly.
"A different war. But...close."
A pause, then:
"Think I'm afraid...to go back."
It's Hotaru's turn to listen now as the pieces come little by little, word by word. Here she is, just fresh back from Thailand, a battle-scarred nation that underwent a complete upheavel of all law and order for the last couple of months. And she was there in the middle of it. But when Acacia says war is like that, young Futaba feels like the other girl could tell her far more about the global conflicts of man than she could possibly understand herself.
Hotaru swallows at the revelation, struck speechless for a moment as she tries to weigh the ramifications. There's so little she knows about the tough, seemingly invincible Acacia. Is that why she's so quiet? Reserved? Is that why she became strong? Out of necessity? Out of survival?
"I don't think it's wrong to be afraid," the pig-tailed girl allows after a moment. "But... I think we have to face our fears at some point or else they control us, block us, diminish us. Maybe that fear is already holding you back from doing something you feel you need to do..."
"You're right," Acacia replies, immediately. There's no pause, no hesitation. She agrees, completely. Clearly, it's something she's considered herself. The same conclusion she's reached.
"But..."
Acacia looks down, staring at her hands, palms turned upwards. She flexes her fingers, forming them into fists. "Knowing, that's one thing. Actually doing..."
She raises her head.
"Not that easy."
"Yeah." is all Hotaru says for a long while, as if that's all that really needed to be said. A simple, one word agreement. An expression of understanding. Doing. That's the hard part. So hard, in fact, that many will just coast through their lives, feigning blissful ignorance if it means that they can avoid the hard parts. Sometimes people just need the right chance though. They need help. And there is no shame in needing help.
"Acacia... If I have to go back to Thailand... if the trail to finding Sakura leads back to that country... Will you come with me? Will you help me do whatever has to be done there?"
An invitation, boldly asked and simple in its request. As honest and simple as young Futaba herself.
"Wh-what?"
Acacia stares blankly at Hotaru, her mouth open, eyes wide. Her brows arch upward. Even her dark complexion seems to slip a shade. Her lips move, but no further sound emerges from her throat. She's struck dumb, blindsided by the question.
It's another few moments before Acacia recovers, dragging her wits together. She brings a hand to her head, palm flat against her face, fingers covering one eye. The other closes on its own accord.
She takes a breath, a shallow one.
Then, incongruously, she chuckles.
"I'm supposed to say yes, right?"
"That's up to you," Hotaru replies. "You might feel better if you say yes though," she adds without a moment's hesitation. "But maybe not. There's a lot I don't know." she adds after another moment, once again perfectly open, almost to a fault. She reaches over and places her glass down next to the other girl's. Taking a couple of steps back now, she leans against the wall of the dojo, her legs crossing casually at the ankles.
Lifting her arms, she places her hands behind her head and rests her head against the wall as well. She's completely silent though, as if having had her say. In fact, her eyes aren't even on Acacia anymore - instead taken to watching a couple of birds fighting in the cement covered courtyard.
A faint smile tugs at the corner of her mouth as she realizes the object of their shared affection happens to be one of the large bread crumbs she had scattered over the ground earlier in the day.
Acacia mulls over what Hotaru just said.
Then she smiles, wider, more genuine.
"Wise," Acacia murmurs, "tell you what..."
She jerks a thumb towards the various bits of wood and construction littering the yard, Hotaru's extension to the dojo.
"That some crazy martial arts training thing...or can I help?"
The bread crumb splits and the two birds suddenly take flight, each going their seperate ways with their own piece of the prize for their efforts. Hotaru shakes her head, smiling at a secret that she keeps to herself.
Asked about the room building project in progress, the girl straightens up a little, though still leaning her back against the wall. One hand comes forward to rest against her cheek as she smiles, that same sheepish expression from earlier returning.
"A little of both, I think." she replies with a nod of her head toward the corner around which the construction endeavor has been waiting patiently for her attention during this dialog. Starting to lead the way over to the pile of 2x4's, bags of nails, stacks of plywood, and a number of other raw materials, she elaborates, "That is to say, I think I'm supposed to learn something by it... but, well, it's supposed to be /my/ room eventually. And if I'm going to actually trust it enough to sleep in it without fear of falling in on me, I really need some help," she finishes, her voice carrying a touch of laughter at the admission. "The only time I ever built something before was a tree house... and it wouldn't stay in the tree..."
"What doesn't kill you," Acacia says, dryly, "makes you stronger."
But she takes the edge out of it with a conspiratorial wink.
With a practiced eye, she surveys the building supplies Hotaru's amassed. She's not precisely an expert herself, but it's she knows...slightly more than the other girl. Her early childhood...is something she doesn't like to dwell on. But of her happier memories, quite some time was spent with the old soldier she now calls 'father'. And he, at least, never failed to pass on practical skills.
Acacia picks up the hammer, hefts it, testing the weight. She nods.
She's not evading Hotaru's question. Really, she's not. She needs to think about it. Think long and hard. She knows what she /has/ to do...
...it's making that step.
But in the meantime, she already owes Hotaru for everything she's said. And maybe, just maybe, for giving her a little push.
Acacia flashes a tiny grin - and gestures with the hammer.
"Right," she says, "first thing you do..."
Log created on 01:13:06 07/06/2007 by Acacia, and last modified on 07:34:40 07/06/2007.