Description: One event can really change an individual. Case in point: since his return to Southtown, Frei has had a lot on his mind about the idea of 'loss'. Following Jiro's showdown with Dante, the monk decides to explore the other side of the religious coin and, in the process, says a temporary farewell to a good friend.
It's morning time.
The sun is shining crisply in the sky, allowing the light to bathe the entire church with a sign of new beginning. The atmosphere is relatively cool, given the calm wind that blows in the air. Serenity is in the air as the birds upon the church's roof sing a vibrant song and the folks are clear.
Resting around the bellfry of the churchyard, Jiro is slowly waking up as he grumbles to himself. "Ugh..." It's not a good morning for him, considering that the venom in him still lingers. Resting on his arms is Hotaru, who is soon released from his hold and he gently sets her on the wall, giving her a kiss to the cheek one last time before he stands up.
"I'll be back soon." He smiles, and from there, he proceeds to walk towards the stairs.
It's the only one he never studied.
~ Well, not the only one, ~ Frei muses to himself as he climbs the hill toward the church where Jiro lies... in wait, so to speak. In his comparatively short life, Frei was a Buddhist monk, a Taoist monk, a Shinto devotee, has studied the Sikh, read the Ramayana, delved into ancient Chinese mythology, and done just about everything east of the Fertile Crescent. But the 'People of the Book' -- Islam, Judiaism, Christianity -- have always eluded him, with their strict codes and passionate fervor for their path. It's alien, in a way, to someone who cut his spiritual teeth on Eastern religions with their emphasis on balance and their disdainment of fanaticism.
In a way, though, that's what is drawing the monk -- bandaged and bruised from so recently stepping in to keep Kain from hurting Hotaru, trying to keep Jiro himself from doing something Frei found foolish -- to this simple churchyard, this quiet place of religious repose. He's here to 'borrow' the passion of the People of the Book, to steep himself in the culture that opens itself to the divine with the idea that the divine can guide you on the right path, rather than seeking divinity within.
~ There's... a lot of 'souls' to pray for, now, after all... ~ he thinks to himself as he reaches the iron gate and, running his fingers over the dew-coated metal, makes to open it.
Along the way of going down the stairs, the Stray Dog is looking around, mostly taking a look at the last sight of the church. Along the way, he can find Itokatsu sleeping on a branch of a tree. He smiles and scritches the critter behind the ear one last time, then his eyes focus towards Frei.
The presence of the monk elicts a smile from the boy, who greets his comrade with a smile and he approaches towards the gate, "Hello, Frei." Better to distance himself from Itokatsu and Hotaru, who are further in, he would rather not look back.
Now that IS a surprise. Frei's green eyes flick up from the gate, which he had been lingering on momentarily, an earthly distraction from his spiritual purpose. Jiro's greeting snaps him out of it, not simply for its presence, but its tone; there's a mildness to the way Jiro says 'hello' instead of 'yo', the sense of being at peace, that Frei finds surprising... and thus it's with some degree of slowness that he blinks, before walking inside and pulling the gate shut behind him.
"Good morning," Frei offers, smiling and glancing around at the churchyard, noting the sleeping Hotaru but saying nothing else. Everything he needs to know there he was already told, by the girl's actions; everything she needed to say, she said with her body, her posture, her defiance. ~ Huh. And to think that... her emulating Jiro is what made Jiro emulate her, ~ he Almas.
Noting the conversational void his pensiveness has created, he clears his throat. "I've never been up here before," Frei explains, nodding a head at the church. "I mean, I've heard the bells, every Sunday when I'm running at Taiyo Dome. But with all the schools around here, you don't know they're coming from a church..."
It only takes but one moment for Jiro to growl out as he feels the poison seep in further. He does his damnest to make it look like nothing happened, but the pale complexion may betray otherwise. His eyes focus at Frei with a smirk, "It's a nice place, isn't it?" He doesn't look back at the church. He really doesn't want to look back at it, because he would not be able to bring himself to leave otherwise.
His eyes focus at Frei, "Yeah. I came here myself with the thought of seeing how should I learn to tolerate Gabriel's fanatical mindframe. That, and to see if I would burst into flames for entering a churchground." He muses with a snort, "Or God shoving a lightning bolt down my throat. I guess that would be in the form of Vega, but whatever."
"It's a nice place to visit and gain some peace." An eye lifts open, staring at Frei on an even-level term, "Though, I wouldn't recommend 'breaking anything." He looks at the exit, "You caught me at an interesting time. Just as you planned to take your journey long ago, I planned to do the same thing. Though, mine will hopefully not be too long."
Having not met Gabriel or Vega, some of Jiro's story is met with a blink or three, but the story about 'making a journey' amuses Frei enough to cause him to suddenly burst out laughing, though he quickly puts a hand over his mouth when he remembers Hotaru is sleeping nearby. "Jiro Sanzo, who is journeying to the great holy sites of the West for the knowledge to save the kingdom... I only hope when you meet your Sun Wu'kung and the rest that you still come back to us."
Frei pauses, however, when he decides to get a little more serious about what Jiro is saying, and curiously enough he can't bring himself to look at Stray Dog in the face when he continues talking. "There's been more than one," the monk says quietly. "The one where I abandoned my family and everything I knew because I was..." He pauses. Undefined? Rough? Unhappy? All of those, but he's never felt quite so much regret about leaving his mother and brothers behind, becoming someone they wouldn't recognize, as he does now that the man he considered his second father is gone. "...I don't know what. Or there was needing to know that I hadn't made the change in vain. I can't say either of those journeys had a 100% happy ending." A pause, and then Frei finds the courage to turn and look Jiro in the eye. "Are you sure you want to leave?"
The reference of Sanzo is not lost on Jiro, the Stray Dog smirks, "Bah, if I run into them, in hope my travelling buddies won't force me to put them through walls." The Stray Dog shakes his head, then he notices the seriousness on Frei's face. His eyes level at the man while he speaks. "Honestly, I don't want to leave."
He suddenly lifts the hand up to grip to his chest, nearly trembling as he feel the boiling of his blood once more.
~ Son of a... ~
His eyes narrow, looking at Frei as his body sweats and the venom lingers in him, the pale look on Jiro's face continues to stare at Frei, "Thanks to my current condition, I don't have much of a choice."
He explains, "Another shadow of my past gave me a venom. He wants me to see him again. So, I will go to see him, get my antidote, and put him through a wall."
If he were a Christian priest, right now Frei would probably be giving Jiro a dressing down about using violence to solve his problems. As it is, everyone involved is fortunate that Frei is no such religious figure. He knows sometimes violence is needed to bring something to a close... and that sometimes violence doesn't take the form of kicking and punching.
But there is something bugging him about what the Stray Dog has said, and it is with growing confidence and a more secure expression that Frei turns to him and sighs a little, brushing a lock of red hair out of his eyes before he speaks. "The past is... the past, you know? Me saying that isn't going to give you better sleep at night, I know. But I know what it's like to have the memory of it walking beside you." He pauses, closing his eyes for a moment, trying to structure his thoughts. When he opens them, he smiles a wan smile, a little tired-looking. "But I think there's a difference between trying to overcome the past and trying to erase the past."
With that, he turns to look at the church. "I don't know a lot about Jesus, you know? I was raised non-denominational, I only know the Eastern religious canons. But I know that what's always said of him is that he gave himself up so that his people -- the people he loved and cared for, the people he wanted to protect -- wouldn't be burdened by their mistakes. Maybe that's why he's such a popular guy." His normal goofy smile comes back as Frei turns to Jiro again. "But think about the sacrifices people made for you the other day, and why it was so important for us that you didn't feel... chained to destiny. Hotaru's not Jesus, but... she tried to give you the same gift. Didn't she?"
"Not with this venom in me, it sure as hell won't." The Stray Dog stares at Frei, "As much as it would be nice to get an antidote here, looks like the guy customized his poison, so..." He shrugs. He looks at Frei, smiling a little more. "Seriously though. I'll keep it in my mind." He shuts his eyes, "I know I can't erase the past." He shrugs, "But when it comes back at me, all I got to do is overcome it." His eyes focus back at Frei.
"Neither do I. I don't care for religion." He does, however, stare towards Frei as he reflects back about not only Jesus's sacrifice, but the same deed done by his friends for him on that day. ".." His eyes focus as he gazes at the ground, "...Yeah." He runs his hand over towards his right hand, revealing not only the three-prong wound of where the venom resides in, but the red ribbon given to him by Hotaru.
"...It's why I promised myself I'll be careful, especially in this trip."
That answer seems to satisfy Frei. Other than going with him -- something the monk perceives would be unwelcome at best, intrusive and unhelpful at worst -- there's not a lot that can be done or said beyond 'I'll be careful'. As for the concept of venom, the monk had thought up until this point Jiro was being metaphoric... not something the Stray Dog is known for, and so Frei is mentally chiding himself that he should have known better. Plus, he wasn't *fighting* Dante, but he could feel it. "That man..." Frei murmurs. "When you described what he could do, I thought it was just 'yin force', the part of the natural cycle that deals with decay and death. But I don't think it was. I really felt like... he gave 'decay' a form through his own will. You know? Maybe. I guess that sounds strange. I wish I'd had a chance to talk with him."
There's a beat, and then Frei shakes his head, reaching his hands behind him and tightening the knot of his Sakura-esque long headband, the tails drifting behind him on a morning breeze. "You've changed a lot, you know that? You're still so serious, but I think it's for a different reason now." There's a pause, and then the typical impish grin. "I mean, I can give you the armchair psychoanalysis, but I guess that's more Alma's department."
Laughing a bit, Jiro looks at Frei, "I am leaving the burden of my past behind, now that I faced bits and pieces of it. I just have to deal with one more piece, it seems." He shuts his eyes, slowly turning away from Frei before he walks off. As the sleeve comes back up, Jiro grits his teeth as he nearly feels his bile coming up.
"I better go. This venom has been running its course since yesterday. Not sure how long I can hold on." He laughs, "But so far, so good." He looks back at Frei, this time smiling.
"Goodbye Frei, I'll miss you." Then, Jiro turns to face the exit of the church, his eyes catching glimpse of the church. He grimaces. So much regret. He shuts his eyes, but he continues on out.
Jiro's comment, offhand though it may be, lances through Frei like a bolt of lightning. Mortality... the one thing nobody has ever conquered (except Geese that one time, but let's ignore that). The concept of loss -- true loss, irrevocable loss -- is one that, in his own privileged way, Frei had never really needed to deal with. He had invested so much of his belief in the passing of days, in the cycle of yin and yang, sun and moon, life and death, that he'd halfway convinced himself death was nothing special, just a change of state.
He's not entirely sure he believes that anymore.
So the thought of Jiro not coming back makes his breath catch, his Adam's apple tighten. Frei forces himself not to cry, not because he is afraid to do so, but because he knows that for Jiro, it's not the right thing to do. He glances at the church and, for probably the first time ever, asks himself what Jesus would do.
"I'll pray for you to come back," the monk finally says, mastering his emotions, forcing himself to smile when in truth he's scared witless at not knowing what the future will be. For the first time, he is tethered to the real world. He can't just let the chips fall. He has to believe in a particular future, want it to happen. ~ But, ~ he reflects, ~ Imposing my will on an unruly universe is what I do. I'm GOOD at it. ~
"We'll all miss you too."
Long moments pass once the two have separated, until finally the monk too turns and leaves, to go home, and think things through. And... maybe, to pray.
Log created on 21:38:16 05/15/2007 by Frei, and last modified on 00:24:26 06/01/2007.