Description: "Season Three, Episode Five* Next time on "Records of Orchid Naps" the brave Drake confronts the odious plot by the Red Witch Naerose to turn Sound Beach into a karaoke bar with free drinks for people wearing red, and elsewhere Arika laments about when Drake will come home. Don't miss it, or you'll be sorry!
What STARTED as a nice day on the beach has gone somewhat astray. The skies are still clear, the sun is still shining bright, the weather is still calm and warm with a light seabreeze...
...Only thing is, there's a huge-aft truck smouldering in the middle of the beach. It looks as though the hood has been blown off, and the truck has a few extra scorch-marks. A few Southtown policemen are standing about it, asking a few questions to some bystanders. Drake happens to be one such bystander, in the middle of being questioned by an officer. "Yeah, it was driven by some gaunt, Gollum-like freak with some serious cowlicks. Iori Yagami, I think his name was." His shoulders bob in a non-commital shrug.
One such not bystander? Well it was a witch, in a red one piece swimsuit, a witches hat, shades and her broom and a bag of crabs. Yes, it was the deadliest catch? No, she was snorkling for crab, it was lame, really really lame, someone needs to take her tv away. So here she was, emerging, fixing her shades and coughing up some water. That truck wasn't there when she started. Or maybe it was and she just didn't notice it, but she's not here to worry about trucks, she's here to go visit someone's beach house, last time she was there some british rocker gave her free OJ and like a bird to a bird feeder, or a bear in the wild, feed them once, and they come back.
The officer squints at Drake. "You sure that's who it was?"
"Reasonably. Have fun busting'em."
And Drake turns to take his leave from the cops. They'll have a fun time hauling the busted-aft vehicle off the sands. He starts towards his home at a casual pace, only to spot... a female approaching. A female in a witch hat. Wearing red. Very recognizable.
"You!"
Drake's eyes narrow on her suspiciously, and he trots quickly to his porch. He knows he said he'd give her a cake, and she's not actually written anything bad about him... so he's possibly being a bit too hard on her.
Possibly.
"What's up?," Drake asks, tone a little on the defensive side.
"Oh Hi," Naerose says and proceeds toward the front door, as though to totally just let herself in, of course she needs to take care of Drake, right? So she looks over at Drake, past Drake, back at Drake points at Drake and then says,
"Think that officer needs to talk to you. I'm just going to be getting some Oj." She smiles, wiggles her fingers at the man as she tries to make her way into the house, if she manages to get her way into the house she'll go straight to the fridge, if there is Oj, she'll bring it out with a glass. she doesn't know her way aruond this kitchen.
Like he's really going to let her wander into his house. As she goes to move past him, Drake's arm extends out to the side to hook around her stomach and pull her back around to his front. "Ahh.. no. What planet are you from, exactly?," he asks, giving her an odd look. "I mean, did you even -have- parents? Ever taught right from wrong? You're not going to just barge into my house like you live there."
Yeah, okay. So he wasn't being too hard on her.
"Ah, hey, there is this police man there who you were talking to and I think he still wants to talk to you." The Witch says as she is stopped. Now what one has to remember is that if you invite a vampire into your house, well they have free access, in this case if you give a Witch a glass of OJ that you've already half drank, then the Witch thinks she has free run of your house? Right? Apparently.
"So .. officer?" She's totally waiting for just half a second for her to sneak into the house for more OJ
"Naerose, Naerose, Naerose," Drake says with a resigned sigh. His hands lift to set to the girl's shoulders. "Do you just walk into everyone's homes like this? Do you realize that that could be considered breaking and entering? That you could be arrested?" He nods towards the cops in indication. "We don't want that, do we? So here's how it works."
If his hands have remained on the girl's shoulders, they gently move in to either side of her neck. He - though unexpected as it may be - is not strangling her. The hands are surprisingly gentle. Not unlike the touch of a dear confidant.
"The first step is asking if you can come over."
"But this house belongs to Miss Fade, who already gave me OJ, You're not miss Fade." Naerose points out, fixes her shades, fixes her hat, fixes her shades again.
"Anyway, I know there is more Oj in there and I know that I am going to have to drink some of it, so if you don't mind, I think Miss Fade made it clear I could have some OJ, when she said, sure, you can have some OJ." Granted that was the glass she was drinking which Naerose had already finished, but hey, she had her own way of seeing things right?
Drake blinks once. "No, this is not Arika's house. It's my house. Arika was a houseguest." Was Arika saying that it was her place? That she lived there? Hoi.. "So it's -me- you have to make nice with." He attempts to push her back a step, then recalls his arms to fold over his chest. "So start with the making nice." Amethyst eyes shoot the red witch a pointed look.
"Oh hey, do you have cake? To go with OJ? That would be kind of weird tasting but I'm not gonna complain, hey, see my crab count? You want some, it'll be great, we can do some .. however you do crab. Umm, I can use your pots and pans right?" Naerose asks with a bright smile, not missing a beat, why? Well, because she didn't actually remember Arika calling it her house, infact she was pretty sure she herself made that up. Hah!
Except she's getting nowhere. "Naerose. You -know- how stubborn I can be. Start making with the niceties, like I said," Drake says. The pointed look only intensifies, amethyst eyes narrowing to near slits. "You're not gettin' jack until you do. And I've been working out all day. I don't mind simmering right here for the rest of it."
"How come I always gotta be nice to you? you're never nice to me, you took my broom away and I never ever ever got it back," huffs the witch, looking even a little pouty, despite her age and you know, being an adult.
"Also you never did give me the cake you promised." She narrows her eyes into slits which you can't see anyway cause she's wearing shades, as always.
"Because you're always wanting something out of me," Drake replies. "Like now, you're wanting to invade the privacy of my home and ransack my belongings. Doing something like that requires permission first. So you need to ask politely and nicely."
The rigid posture is broken long enough for Drake to whisk a few fingers through his bangs. "As for the cake, I know I promised it to you. But unless you start acting nice, it'll be nothing more than a Little Debbie moonpie. Of the off-brand variety." Squint!
"So .. wait, what you're saying is.. " Naerose starts then stares at her net of crabs,
"You don't want a part of my deadliest catch?" She frowns a little more and considers the situation,
"Umm, so Hi, can I come over?" She smiles sweetly to Drake, and tries to look pleasant and sweet,
"by the way," she says in a whisper, "Got any banana cream? Those things are great, but only if they're the right brand."
Drake thought for sure that a Little Debbie moonpie of the off-brand variety was a spectacular contradiction in and of itself. But apparently she knows about them pretty well. So she's awarded with a stumped look from the model.
Drake shakes his head quickly. "Don't like banana cream." A light, much more amiable smile then touches to his features. "Yes, Naerose, you can." The unspoken subline is, 'Don't make me regret it.' Regardless, he turns from her and pulls the door open, and steps aside to allow her first entry.
Woah woah owha, she totally didn't actually expect that to work, that was like. Crazy, she actually got into the house. This was great.
"Umm, oh yeah, you do have the juice right? Cause I know that Fade person was drinking it pretty fast and had a headache, then Ran came! Can you believe it? Ran Hibiki shows up where eve there is somethng to steal, a scoop, something has to be done about that villain. "
She looks for a place to settle down, oh and a place to leave her crabs, probably outside on the porch.
"How do you own thi place anyway?"
Drake heads into a house on the beach.
Drake follows after her and shuts the door behind them. "Ah.. yeah.. I do." He goes to make his way towards the kitchen past her. He fetches down a glass, then opens the fridge and fetchs OJ. The ever-sought-after OJ. It's poured into the glass, and he shuffles back to the witch and offers it to her.
As for her comments... Drake decides it's best to just skim over them. He has no idea about half of what she's saying, anyway. He knows no Ran Hibiki. The last question he takes into account, though. "I bought it. I own the house," he explains. "Professional wrestling gives a bit more money than someone might expect."
And it's empty. Literally from her hand to empty and somehow she seems to get stronger. Seriously you just upped her ratio by .0001 percent. Granted she is R.N to start, which makes it really hard to figure out what her actual power level is, but still, someone needs to put signs up, don't feed the witch. Okay, you fed the Witch. Now she'll never leave.
"Umm Pro wrestling?" She reaches into her hat, pulls out a soggy notepad with drawings of bunnies and kitties on it, apparently she had been not doing a great job of taking notes with it of late.
"Have you ever met the hulk? "
Drake sees the notepad come out, and he instantly frowns. His hands reach out to settle over her hand(s) and notepad to halt any scribblings. His head shakes softly. "No, Naerose. No interview." He doesn't trust her enough to give her an interview. Read; he doesn't trust her at all. "Put the pad away, mmkay?" And the hands go to stuff into the pockets of his sweats.
"Sorry, habit." Naerose says and takes off her hat, which exposes the most obscene sight of hat hair you've probably ever seen, however as she does so there is a bunny which flops out of the hat and makes a break for it, where? Who knows, someplace in the house perhaps, but who wants a bunny infestation. Still the first thing Naerose has to do is put the notepad in her hat, then put her hat on her head and then chase down the bunny.
"Heh, sorry, I'll do something about that," And she raises her broom, ready to start taking swings at the bunny.
Well, she seems a mite bit more civilized. Or subdued? Is it possible that she isn't as completely air-headed and ditz-ohmygodthehair.
Drake blinks several times at the nappy display. Holy crap. "Y'know... you should really style your hair more," he offers. "It could probably look, ah..." ...Better? Neater? -Human-? "...Prettier." Blasted playboy habbits.
Then comes the rabbit. "What in the He-.." And off it goes. Then comes the broom. Drake quickly reaches out to take ahold of her hands again to prevent it from swinging about. "Nonono. It'll find that this house is very boring for animals." He hopes.
"Are you kidding? That's my emergency food source, it once escaped into the basement of Neisje's house and wouldn't let me coax him out for like days, I don't even think he was alive when I found him.. Sylvester, get back out here!" cries the witch and she scans the room for white rabbit familiar. For record, it seems to be a perfectly normal rabbit who just also happens to have a great deal of self preservation.
"Ugh, he's going to nibble your wires.. here.." She starts to draw up what can only be considered a serious real attack,
"I'll save your house!"
Drake's eyes widen and he attempts to jostle the girl. "My! House! No! Swinging! Weapons! No! Smashing! Things!," he says loudly and in staccato, hoping it drills through her head. "Relax yourself! You'll just have to wait until it comes out on its own, okay?" He squints at her, giving her what he hopes she's identified as a relentless expression. "Or -I'll- go get it."
"Be my guest," Naerose says and calms down to just letting Sylvester do whatever harm he wants, but seriously, if your house isn't bunny proof you do not want a rabbit running around who also happens to work on cartoon style physics, bunnies love getting into stuff, just wikipedia them, and they'll nibble and eat cords and this one is worse than most because it probably won't even die! But that's not too bad, Naerose has replaced Sylvester before, there is no telling how many before this one she has had.
"Oh hey, got any more Oj?"
Drake exhales a soft sigh of relief. No way a rabbit can do more damage than that girl and her apparently trigger-happy tendancies. "In the fridge," he directs. He turns his attention to the room. "I'm gonna find your rabbit now.." And that's exactly what he sets off to do. First, he begins checking under furniture. "Raaabbiiit~," he calls.
"His name is Sylvester and don't mind if I do." Naerose says and goes off to get some more oj <3<3<3.
Meanwhile Sylvester is a snow white bunny. VERY cute, big marble like obsidian black eyes, no one who could understand cute could possibly not see this bunny as cute. It stares at Drake as he eventually would likely come on it hiding under some furniture. This bunny just cries of abuse, lots and lots of abuse.
Drake is a callous, cold, unfeeling beast of a man. He reaches under the furniture to retrieve the rabbit. And if caught, he raises back to his feet with the critter.
..That is, with it all cuddled up in his arms, fingers petting through its fur.
"So, you keep a rabbit with you, why?," Drake asks, shooting a look towards Naerose.
"Cause" she replies, with a orange mustache, "I was watching this place that got hit by a wave, or maybe a hurricane, or something, I dunno, it was on CNN and so where was I? Right, I heard that people starved or something and then I thought the best way to keep meat fresh was to keep it alive right? And witches have familiars, so I figured mine would just double as an emergency food ration." She smiles to Sylvester who has a shiver down it's little bunny spine.
Drake glances from Naerose to the rabbit. "You know rabbit meat's poisonous, right?," he asks. Yes, it's a lie. It's a terrible, filthy lie, and Drake may very well go straight to Hell over it. But come on. Her eating this little bunny? As if.
"The old settlers ate bunny meat, and they died. That's why you don't see any more settlers these days." He looks back to Naerose. "And to make bunnymeat non-toxic, it requires ingredients impossible to find in the event of a hurricane, flood, tsunami, earthquake, or zombie attack. So I'm afraid he's just not gonna be much use to you as a food."
The bunny is then scritched between the ears.
Naturally Naerose had never heard this before, she's not a vet, her hat totally droops as if really hurt her to the root to her that. Of course it wouldn't take much to realize he was lying but all the same,
"Well.. eh, I mean really? Damn.. Okay, I need to find a new emergency food source.. Thanks for looking out Cuz." Naerose says and starts to wander to the door, apparently trying to leave, afterall, she had work to do. Of course she doesn't seem to make any effort at all to take her bunny back, it's almost as if she were trying too dump him on Drake.
"No problem. You should look into dry goods. Like beef jerky. Already diced up and such. It'd fit real easy in that hat of yours," Drake advises. If she makes no attempt to take back the bunny, Drake makes no attempt to give it back. He'll just figure out something to do with it.
Like, eh, put it in a stew or something.
Kidding. Geeze.
Log created on 18:56:52 04/27/2007 by Naerose, and last modified on 09:49:45 08/19/2007.