Description: Joe and Hotaru's ongoing sequence of grudge matches continues in this PSA gone horribly wrong.
It had been a long two months for Joe Higashi. His accountant ran off with a good chunk of his fortune, leaving him desperate for work. Most of the jobs he has taken have ended with him usually owing more than his paycheck was worth. To top it all off, he had been harassed by an old man whose sob story made it to the evening news and put Joe Higashi's reputation and career right into the garbage. Sure he accidently destroyed the old man's livelihood, but no one bothered to report on the fact that he paid for all of the damages and then some. All they saw was a weeping old man and his twelve hungry children. No one bothered to report that little Johnny Preston's birthday party was the talk of the town and easily the most exciting party ever held in the park. Oh no, they were talking about how every guest had ended up with cake and miscellaneous food all over their clothing. On top of all of that, Joe's business manager for ten years fired him over the bad press. Fired /him/! How does that even work?!
Joe wasn't one to hold a grudge, but if he ever saw that evil orphan Hotaru again, he was going to hand that little miscreant a bill for damages including one ruined raccoon suit that Joe had to keep because the rental store wouldn't take it back with cake smeared all over it.
There was a new manager in town, and thanks to Lilly's impressive laundromat contacts, Joe had been signed up and immediately shipped off to a job that will no doubt fix his once sterling reputation. Mr. Chaz Periwinkle, Chaz to his friends, had set the beleaguered Higashi up with a public service announcement gig. Joe had accepted without question, how bad could doing a PSA be? Mr. T used to do them all the time and people still love him right?
It was a little unconventional so far, but Joe wasn't one to be discouraged by things being a little different. He still wasn't sure what the whole commercial was about, but the director seemed like a nice fellow, and Joe really liked the pirate costume that he got to wear. It even came with a cool replica sword for him to swing around. The pirate hat was a bit of a problem, but with a couple cuts, Joe's giant stack of hair slid right through the top of the hat, making the whole ensemble complete. The stage was made up to look like the deck of a pirate ship, complete with sails, ropes, and horribly dirty deck hands that didn't look happy to be here. Just like real pirates!
"Okay Mr. Higashi, you take your place on center stage. Your lines will be displayed on the teleprompters here, there, and over there." The director calls out through his megaphone from behind the camera as he points to small monitors setup around the 'ship'. Joe squints to try and read the title of the commercial. "Gentle Pirates? Huh. Should be fun!"
The megaphone clicks to life once more, "Where's my White Queen and her minions? She was supposed to be on stage ten minutes ago!"
Maki heads southwest to the park.
For Hotaru, no business manager ever comes into play. All official records have the only reliable means of contacting her being a P.O. Box in her name that she checks most days she's in Southtown. Of accountants, she has multiple, as the sole member of the Futaba household that those managing the family's estate can even find semi-reliably. But her contact with them is minimal. Veteran bean counters typically have better things to do than try to ask a sixteen year old how she would like the family finances managed that week. Ever since Hotaru signed a check with a six digit number made out to the 'Society Against the Cruel Display of Lobsters', she and her accountants reached an understanding that beyond her weekly allowance, the family money is off limits.
This week's invitation to appear in the filming of a Public Service Announcement sounded like a nice, low key way to spend some time while recuperating from her last SNF bout. She gets something to do and some worthy cause or other gets a minor celebrity to help prove that their message is really totally absolutely full of important substance. She had arrived on time - even a bit early, but there were problems in the costume department.
"You look taller on TV." was how she was greeted, measuring tapes a plenty being produced to try and figure out what they were going to be able to do with the small statured fighter. "Do we have it in a child's size?" "The pony tails need to go." "Here, try this." "Maybe we should try stuffing-" "Hey!"
By the time Hotaru takes the stage, the orphan is barely recognizeable. Dressed in a white gown with multiple layers and a white jacket-like top to wear over it, her hair has been redone into a single braid, one red ribbon at the top and the other at the bottom. She takes the stage, stepping gingerly, her feet covered by white, thick soled, high healed evening-gown shoes - something she's not at all comfortable walking around in. They're supposed to make her look taller. Her trusty minions are dragged out along with her onto the stage-ship. One looks like a whiney courtisan in a ridiculous getup - the kind everyone always hates and makes fun of in any story, while another is dressed as a hand maiden, her white dress far more simple than Hotaru's. Neither look happy to be there. They're getting paid even /less/ to do this. "I lost my lines," Hotaru stammers as she's pushed out, glancing all over for the sheet of paper that was supposed to explain what this whole commercial was supposed to be about.
"You'll figure it out, just go!" comes the unhelpful reply.
Immediately, as if on cue, Chaz Periwinkle is there, next to Hotaru, teeth glittered and tacky suit... suiting. "Chaz Periwinkle, agent to the stars and people who want to be them." He thumbs up to Hotaru before jerking it towards the strange-haired pirate across the ship, "I've already got a client in today's filming, but you'd make two, and two is always better than one!" He points his index fingers at Hotaru like he's firing two pisotls, making a clicking noise each time. The man then produces his business card, sliding it into the girl's hand. The card has a picture of Chaz smiling and giving a thumbs up to his contact information. "The other side has a coupon for a free movie at the Video Hut, which I manage on the weekends." His eyebrows waggle creepily and he steps off stange just in time for the director to begin shouting his orders.
"Places pirates! Mr. Higashi, your cue is after the voice over!" He knew there was going to be a fight scene, but he was hoping he'd be fighting other pirates, not some familiar looking girl in a dress. If he hadn't been too busy trying to read the teleprompter over the girl's shoulder, he might realize that the White Queen was none other than his Arch-Nemesis, Hotaru. Instead, his eyes were squinted and he was leaning slightly forward to try and read the words that he was supposed to recite before delivering a beating upon this intruder upon his ship.
The director shouts, "Action!" and immediately turns his attention to his beautiful assistant, leaving the commercial to really shoot itself. The narrator, who sounds a lot like James Earl Jones, intones, "Having unprotected sex is like allowing a band of pirates to attack your genitals. The scurvy dogs will loot and plunder your jewels until all that's left is itching, burning, and a feeling of loss and frustration. The only thing standing between you and them, are white blood cells, valiantly defending your body from attack on the high seas."
There's a long pause after the narrator finishes as Joe struggles to pick his jaw up off of the floor. He wasn't a gentle pirate at all! He was a genital pirate! Lilly was not going to be happy at all, which is why Joe vows to never ever mention it to her. Ever. With a heavy sigh, Joe begins to recite his lines, which make a lot more sense now, much to his dismay. "Arrr! Come on boys, defeat all these land lubbers and have your way with their women whilst I foist a good dose of itching and burning upon them!" Joe waves his sword half-heartedly in the air as he finally looks his opponent in the eyes. His mood darkens further as he finally realizes who the other opponent is. Does fate really hate him? Why would he have to be faced off against Hotaru /again/? And under such... embarassing conditions as well.
"Very well White Queen, prepare to be pillaged!" The deckhands raise their prop swords and yaaaar loudly as the entire set begins to rock back and forth slowly.
COMBATSYS: Joe has started a fight here.
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Joe 0/-------/-------|
Accosted by Chaz before she is even really sure what is supposed to be going on, Hotaru panics at first, thinking he was part of the script. "Avast! - No, wait, that's not my line," she murmurs, trying to think back on the first couple sentences that she glanced at from the sheet she's since lost. But he continues right along with his slick spiel and she is left blinking as a card is slipped into her hand. A glance is made between the face on the business card and the smarmy gentleman in front of her. "T-thanks," she stammers as he hops out of range of the cameras. She looks unsure what to do with the card. Royalty gowns are too good for pockets, it seems.
But that dilema resolves itself quickly as the male minion at her side, Claude, snatches the card from her fingers eagerly. "I've gotta call that guy so I can get out of gigs like this!" he whines with petulant enthusiasm. Hotaru smiles weakly as Claude pockets the card. After all, Chaz got /Joe/ into this, so what makes him think the agent will get him into anything better? The young woman, Bridget, at her other side speaks up, "Hey, give me that card. There's no way you'll ever get into a better commercial than me, so you're just wasting everyone's time!" As the director calls for Action, the White Queens loyal assistants begin pushing and shoving each other behind her while Hotaru sighs, getting the impression that these two 'extras' have done this a lot.
As Joe takes his place, Hotaru glances at the pirate hat first. It's funny how they made it so his hair can stick out-... wait. What? Why? Him? How? She glances to the sides, the thought of fleeing this entire inevitable fiasco before it can actually get into full swing, but cameras are already rolling, so now if she runs off, it'll be caught on film!
Behind her, the two minions have stopped pushing and shoving each other, but instead are watching Joe recite his lines. 'Blah, blah, land lubbers ... itching and burning,' Claude mimics the lines from heart. One gets the impression he's done this script before.
For her own part, Hotaru's cheeks tint a bit red as the point of this PSA is finally understood. Joe finishes his lines and she squints to read her own, "Behold, Egwene and Beaufort," the White Queen rallies her team, "The gentle... gentle... genti..." her voice drops to a hushed whisper as she glances to the side for direction, "That says genital?" "Yes, yes, just get the line out!" comes the urgent encouragement from offstage. Hotaru continues right along, "...genital pirate leader has brought his unsavory germs against us, and we are the last line of defense to keep them at bay!" The teleprompter moves to her next line. "Remember, he brings not himself, but everyone he has ever slept with too!" Hotaru belts out, swallowing as she finishes the line. Good grief, maybe she DOES need an agent.
Offstage, the director double checks with the audio guys, "We got enough there to splice together in the post-processing, right?"
COMBATSYS: Hotaru has joined the fight here.
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Hotaru 0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0 Joe
Chaz has moved to the doughnut table, his card finding its way into more than a few hands as he stands around messily eating a powdered doughnut filled with red jelly that has made a rather interesting stain on his tie. Does anyone really need an agent like this? Well at least the coupon on the back of his card never expires.
In order to keep his afternoon sane and in the black, Joe was intending to follow the script to the letter to insure a lack of damage to his reputation and his paycheck. Unfortunately, with his opponent now being the person he has attributed at least half of his troubles to, the horribly misunderstood fighter has begun to focus on winning this fight once and for all. According to the script, the pirates are supposed to lose to the valiant White Queen, but Joe now thinks the story would be better if the itching and burning won out in the end. Oh yes, there will be itching.
First off, his weapon just had to go. If he was going to win, he was going to have to do it without the mostly plastic sword in his hand. However, not wanting to waste a perfectly good cheap shot, Joe lifts the sword above his head exclaims, "For Herpes!" Just like the teleprompter says. He then brings his arm down and flings the sword at Hotaru, making sure to put a little extra oomph into it to make sure she knows he means business, and not the thumbs up, finger-pistol kind that Chaz keeps pimping.
COMBATSYS: Hotaru negates Thrown Object from Joe with Thrown Object.
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Hotaru 0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0 Joe
Squinting at the script, Hotaru muses, "Okay, and this is where we act out a fight?" Claude, who will be staring as Beaufort for today's presentation, sighs, shrugging his shoulders, getting straight to the whining one would expect just by looking at him. "You and Mister STD over there fight it out, while Bridg-, I'm sorry, /Egwene/, and I pretend like we're fighting with the rest of them. I swear, I never get to do anything cool." he mopes, his floppy white hat sinking down over his eyes. At this, he hefts a white long stick off the ground that is supposed to be his weapon. Affixed to the top of it is a large banner with the words 'This PSA proudly brought to you by Hot Rod Rubbers.' Egwene hefts a similarly unwieldly white pole, and the two of them rush to the backstage where their irrelevant fight is to take place against the equally unimportant pirate scum.
Reluctantly, Hotaru looks back towards Joe. She remembers how the last 'play fight' went with him, and this time she isn't going to be caught unprepared. First things first, these shoes have /got/ to go! Kicking the dress shoe off her feet is easy. Sending flying directly toward Joe, on the other hand, is an accident. It works out though, as the wayward footware collides with the thrown plastic sword in mid-air. Hotaru doesn't notice though, as she's only just finished kicking off her second shoe.
Offstage, the director leans forward as the two props collide and fall harmlessly to the ground, "Ooo, this is going to be good. These two are /professionals/. Did we get that on film?"
The two pirates in the background half-heartedly pick up their swords and begin waving them at Beaufort and Egwene who in turn wave their 'weapons' back. It would look pretty convincing if one of the swords wasn't made of rubber and was waving around like a spaghetti noodle. Thankfully, the focus of everyone's attention is now on the two fighters squaring off on the deck and their sword on footware combat.
Being the 'villain' he is, Joe is undeterred by his failed attack, even if it looked like Hotaru wasn't really paying attention and countered it entirely by accident. He was going to win, and he was going to do it while looking /good/. Taking his queue from all sorts of pirate films and other fluffy action movies, Joe unties one of the ropes from the deck and jumps up onto it, swinging around towards Hotaru with his leg extended without really thinking about the fact that the rope may not be able to hold his weight. Details.
COMBATSYS: Hotaru dodges Joe's Heavy Kick.
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Hotaru 0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0 Joe
Feeling better now that the uncomfortable shoes are off, Hotaru stretches her stocking covered toes a little, unaware that the fight had even started already. Much improved. She then goes about inspecting the White Queen garb to make sure that she can move as she wants for the purpose of this engagement. Stretching her arms, she finds the white, sparkly sequin covered jacket seems flexible enough that she doesn't need to worry about it, and the skirt portion of the costume is flowing enough to let her move about quickly as she will no doubt need to do. She bends down to press the dress down some as the final step in preparation, oblivious to the pirate that goes swinging right past her. Standing up straight again, she breaths in and exhales slowly, finally focusing on the fight at hand. Only... she can't figure out where Joe went. "Huh?"
COMBATSYS: Hotaru focuses on her next action.
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Hotaru 0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0 Joe
It only takes a moment for Joe's rope to wrap around the mast and swing him back into view. He lets go of the rope and strikes an intimidating pose... only he's facing the wrong way. The sound guy holding the boom mic motions helpfully with a finger for him to turn around, and with a quick hop, Joe spins about without even dropping from his 'intimidating' stance. He wasn't sure how Hotaru dodges his carefully aimed kick, but he was too busy trying not to fall off of the rope to really see what happend, so he just assumes it was some sort of malevolent orphan trickery.
Joe stands up and points at Hotaru, his mouth opening to recite the next bit of intimidating dialogue when he suddenly has a face full of water. The storm had begun and stage hands were busily throwing buckets of water onto the stage. One of them got a little too excited and now Joe was spitting the remains of the drenching from his mouth. His arms fall to his sides and his shoulders slump, giving him the look of a man defeated before he even began. This was going to turn out just like the rest of his jobs wasn't it? His hands clenched into fists and he closes his eyes, his mind working to focus his energy and calm his emotions. He was Joe Higashi, loved by millions, adored by women, and voted the most handsome Muay Thai fighter of 2003!
After a few quiet moments, one of the stagehands begins offering Joe's lines helpfully, which get waved away as a newly focused pirate emerges from his quick meditation. "You fight well White Queen, but your rein of cleanliness and comfort are at an end!" The line would have been pretty impressive had Joe not lost his footing on the slick deck just as he finished it. He stumbles sideways, catching himself on the mast while trying to look like he meant to do that.
COMBATSYS: Joe gathers his will.
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Hotaru 0/-------/-------|====---\-------\0 Joe
Drake heads west along the highway to the outskirts.
Drake heads northwest into the forest.
As Joe swings back into view, Hotaru catches sight of him. Ah hah! So he's playing like some kind of Ninja Pirate, equally stealthy as he is roguish. And then he gets drenched by the makeshift storm and Hotaru balks, glancing back and forth quickly as if expecting she might be in line for the same thing. She really does need to read these scripts ahead of time. Mostly so she knows what NOT to get into.
"Lines," a stagehand with a clipboard and pencil whispers at her urgently, "Lines!"
Flustered, Hotaru looks around for the monitor and squints, but the piece of hardware has started blinking wildly after some of the 'storm' water got into the wires backstage, and she can't make any sense of it. "Gah!" Hotaru exclaims, desperately waving her arms at the scriptboy, but he just keeps pointing her at the screen, unable to see that it's malfunctioning from his angle.
She has no choice, it seems, but to just get this fight moving. As Joe starts slipping sideways, the White Queen sprints toward him, aiming to catch hold of his arm in the course of his stumble, she'll try to kick his shin, knee his stomach, and climb the rest of the way up him to leap off his shoulder. It makes sense in her mind, but she didn't factor in how an ankle-length dress can affect a move like that, causing her motions to be less nimble and more clumsy in actual execution. Even if she manages to kick him, her graceful leap to safety will end up being an ungraceful tumble to the stage at best.
COMBATSYS: Joe endures Hotaru's Shin-Jou Tai.
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Hotaru 0/-------/-----==|=======\-------\0 Joe
For a brief moment, Joe thinks Hotaru is there to help him before he tumbles to the deck. However, her arm grab turns out to be much more sinister and the only thing Joe has time to do before the girl starts her attack is flinch and hope it is over soon. Once she's done and safely flipped away, Joe reaches down and rubs his now sore shin as he eyes the situation. The other pirates are still waving their flimsy swords at the invaders, but everyone is watching the real fight that's unfolding. Realizing that the 'spotlight' is on him now, Joe gets ready to shine.
Before setting off on his plan for Hotaru Destruction, Joe leaps back a few steps to avoid another bucket of water careening towards him. Someone had lost their grip and the entire bucket slams onto the deck, spilling water everywhere. The drenched pirate captain kicks the metal bucket upwards before spinning about and slamming his foot into it to send it zooming towards Hotaru. However, as can be plainly seen by the horrible accuracy of the shot, the bucket is just a diversion for the real attack. Joe lunges forward, intending to slam his fist right into Hotaru's stomach. Unfortunately, his pirate shoes with no traction cause him to slide the remaining distance in what turns out to be some sort of punching tackle. Packle?
COMBATSYS: Joe successfully hits Hotaru with Quick Throw.
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Hotaru 0/-------/---====|=======\-------\0 Joe
Finding her footing on the stage takes a second, especially as water begins to pool on the surface of the boat from the terribly unconvincing special effects. By the time she does, a bucket is flying her way and the girl is lifting her arms up to keep it from hitting her face, having misjudged its awkward trajectory. In the back half of the stage, the faux battle rages on ineffectively. "Oh man, what a clown," Claude gripes, just standing there holding his stick up as the rubber-sword weilding pirate beats the stupid weapon against it uselessly. "I swear, next time, *I* should be the Genital Pirate Captain..." he ponders out loud.
"And I the lovely White Queen," chirps in Bridget who keeps getting hit in the shoulder by the other pirate's sword but doesn't seem to be paying attention to anything besides the two fighters. "I heard they had to give her the kiddie outfit. For real!"
Hotaru lowers her arms as the bucket went flying harmlessly by only to find Joe flailing into her. A quick hop to the side should correct that - A quick hop made impossible as her foot slips on the wet surface, causing the two 'professionals' to go tumbling precariously close to the edge of the stage. At least they landed where the water hadn't drenched anything yet. "Ermph." Hotaru grimaces, rolling to the side to get back to her feet. "A desperate attack by a desperate germ," she ad-libs, having given up on the script. "We'll just have to use force to keep this virus out!" She's looking a little miffed at having gotten tackled so clumsily. Thus Hotaru lashes back out at Joe with a familiar blue projectile, not even really waiting to see if he gets back to his feet first. The angle is such that it could very well knock him completely off the stage if hit hits. She was taught to maintain her cool, to stay calm, in the spite of any circumstances. But this PSA falls /well/ outside anything she trained for.
COMBATSYS: Joe slows Hakki Shou from Hotaru with Hurricane Upper.
- Power fail! -
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Hotaru 0/-------/---====|=======\-------\0 Joe
This really was getting out of hand, and Joe wanted no part in yet another fiasco that ends with him looking like the bad guy. It was already enough that he was supposed to be some pirate STD, but he didn't need another loss at Hotaru's hands to rub it in. Scrambling away from the fallen girl, Joe climbs to his feet along the edge of the deck and prepares to strike. He was on firm ground and he was ready. He sees the attack and grins, knowing full well that he can easily overpower such a dinky ball of chi with his own forceful tornado, so he leans forward to do just that.
Life seems to be against Joe Higashi today, and his victory may have to wait until fate is done toying with him. At the exact moment he is unleashing his vortex, one of the sound engineers strikes the giant sheet of metal to simulate crashing thunder. This distraction succeeds in making Joe jump in shock, his tornado dissipating harmlessly as the ball of chi zooms through it and slams into Joe's chest, sending him overboard. He lands directly in the middle of the doughnut table, scattering tasty treats everywhere as he sprawls out. Chaz looks down at Joe and flashes the fighter his signature smile, "Hey there buddy, done so soon?"
The director has lost sight of the commercial and has now decided to capture the great footage no matter what. "Follow the action Harvey!" He screams at the cameraman, who does just that, making sure to keep Joe's clumsy antics on camera at all times.
Erk. Hotaru had lashed out with a little bit of frustration and the donut table ends up paying for it. Wincing, she starts to feel bad for having sent the pirate crashing off the stage, regretting the attack. A little bit. Running over to the edge of the stage, she crouches, hands on her knees, a worried look on her face, "Ano, Mister J- Er, Pirate-san, ah, are you okay?"
Predictably Claude throws his hands up in the air, "See what I mean? That guy just has no idea about being a pirate. Here, let me show you." Dropping the sponsor-covered banner staff, he grabs the rubber sword from the pirate that was flailing away violently against Bridget and then charges across the stage toward Hotaru's back, intent on showing the world what an underappreciated actor he is.
It's quite unintentional that the girl stands up straight again at about that point and walks off to the side to wait and see if Joe will be reclaiming his mighty Pirate Ship. Unfortunately for Claude, this means his dangerous and dastardly stab toward his regal highness's back just results in him flying off the stage directly for Joe.
COMBATSYS: Joe endures Hotaru's Large Thrown Object.
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Hotaru 0/-------/--=====|=======\=------\1 Joe
A shower of displaced doughnuts shower down upon Joe's head, covering his face with powdered sugar and an assortment of fillings. Just as he wipes the lemon filling from his eyes, which stings horribly just so you know, Joe is impacted by one of the White Queen's little minions. A battered and bruised Joe rolls the complaining man off of him before standing up and looking back up towards the ship. He points at Hotaru, his finger shaking with intent, "This is the last straw! I will not allow you to besmirch my name any longer!" Feeling proud of his dramatic speech, Joe leaps back up onto the deck, propelling himself over the railing and rolling into a ready stance. He had a surprise up his sleeve, one that he had been working on in training the last few weeks, and he was going to make Hotaru his first victim.
The attack seems pretty standard to someone who has fought Joe a few times. He dips low and brings his right hand upwards in a punch, stirring the air with his forceful blow. However, rather than the vortex going on its way, it just stays there, hovering in place as Joe uppercuts it a few more times, the air spinning faster and faster with each blow. Finally, with a smirk, Joe leaps fearlessly into his own vortex, sending the swirling Higashi across the deck towards Hotaru, his arms and legs flailing out of the spinning tornado randomly.
The sound guys, trying desperately to get everything recorded, seem stuck on something, "Did he just say 'besmirch'?"
COMBATSYS: Joe successfully hits Hotaru with Exploding Hurricane Tiger Heel.
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Hotaru 1/----===/=======|=------\-------\0 Joe
"Watch o-" Hotaru tries to alert those offstage of the impending Claude Projectile, but it's too late. *CRASH* *SMASH* Wincing again, Hotaru continues just wait patiently, clasping her hands behind her back as she watches everything unfold. His speech is met by a blink. Besmirch? What's that and why would she do it to his name?
As the pirate reclaims his ship, the girl gets ready for the fight to continue. First comes the whirlwind of chi and she raises her arms to block it only to find it's just stationary. Then he punches at it again, and she moves to block again, but still the tornado isn't going anywhere. As the next several punches add power to the vortex, Hotaru begins to just watch, puzzlement written on her face.
She should know better than to let down her guard down, but it's impossible to figure out what in the world he's actually trying to accomplish with such seemingly wasted effort. Thus it is when Joe smirks, she begins to think that he's just cracked again. But then he does the unthinkable and leaps into his OWN windstorm, confirming that he has, in fact, cracked.
The attack strikes Hotaru dead on, the girl unable to figure out what direction the flailing attack is even supposed to be going. Struck by multiple attacks, she's sent crashing to the ground some seconds later. From off stage, Claude lifts a hand from the pile of donuts he has yet to extricate himself from. "... I could've done that..."
Maki heads west along the highway to the outskirts.
Zero heads east into the downtown area.
Balrog heads southwest to the park.
Shinobu heads southwest to the park.
Peeling herself off the stage takes a moment, but the pandemonium of the scene seems to still be moving along with the same lack of order that it has all along. The pirates in the background have the upper hand in the un-epic battle raging on now that Claude is out of the picture. All this really means is that Bridget is getting smacked by the plastic swords while paying little attention to them.
Hotaru takes a second to get her bearings back, having landed atop a raised portion of the stage that was supposed to represent the captain's quarters of the ship. Rubbing her forehead, she's been reminded that Joe actually /can/ hit hard when it comes down to it. Time to take this seriously! She sheds the white, sequin-covered jacket while looking for where Joe landed. Once her target has been found, the girl leaps off the elevated location to deliver a quick heel toward the kickboxing pirate's forehead. "Ya!"
COMBATSYS: Joe dodges Hotaru's Light Kick.
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Hotaru 1/----===/=======|=------\-------\0 Joe
The raw power of the Higashi Flail has scored a heavy blow against injustice, it's a shame that Joe can't really focus his eyes enough to see the damage. His vortex finally disippates and Joe continues spinning for a few more revolutions before staggering back and forth around the mast of the ship. He sees something dressed in white that may or may not be one Hotaru or three Hotaru's, in his dizziness he cannot make out what's happening. Suddenly, three Hotaru's are jumping towards him, each one with their leg extended to strike the unwary fighter. Thankfully, he staggers out of the way of the real Hotaru, his arm finally catching hold of the railing as he steadies himself til the vertigo passes.
Once he can see straight, Joe lunges towards Hotaru, trying to catch her offguard with his fist before she can turn around. Sadly, fate has yet another trick to play on poor Joe. The bucket that had been thrown on stage earlier ends up under Joe's feet from all the rocking back and forth, sending Joe flying past Hotaru and the bucket careening towards her head.
COMBATSYS: Hotaru blocks Joe's Thrown Object.
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Hotaru 1/---====/=======|=------\-------\0 Joe
The way Joe is weaving about, Hotaru can't decide if he just got a bad donut when he crushed the table holding the pastry goodness, or if his own attack left him just about as disoriented as it did her. Which is why when he manages to avoid her anyway, she looks a little surprised. Recovering her footing once landing, she stands up right into the path of the bucket that was supposed to be a kick. Raising her hands, she keeps from getting struck directly by the metal object and it goes careening off to the side only to land right atop of Bridget's head.
"Hey!" "Hey!" Both Hotaru and her handmaiden speak up at the same time. Bridget complaining because she now has a damp metal bucket on her head and the pirate extras are taking great delight in beating on the bucket with their plastic swords. *CLANG* *CLANG* *CLANG* Hotaru protesting because Joe just kicked a bucket at her which seems awefully rude, even for him. First he knocked her around the room, then has to follow it up with a bucket for her head? Gritting her teeth, Hotaru decides to teach this pirate a lesson once and for all.
Speeding up to try and catch Joe before he's even sure on his feet again, stops for only a split instant in front of him, crouching down, arms out at her sides as she prepares to give everything she's got to her next attack. It begins with a backflip into the air, both of her legs sent directly for the kick boxer's chest with enough force to knock him into the air. It isn't just brute force, since that in and of itself wouldn't mean much coming from her - but this attack is backed by a sizeable demonstration of chi energy the likes of which Joe has yet to see from Hotaru before, a blue field forming around her feet as she leaps.
COMBATSYS: Joe Toughs Out Hotaru's Ten-shou Ranki EX!
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Hotaru 0/-------/-------|====---\-------\0 Joe
As he's unable to avoid the first part of the attack, Hotaru transforms her backflip into a dive directly back for him, only to be surprised to find that the kick boxer hasn't been knocked into the air as she anticipated. It takes a split second to correct for this, however, and instead of intercepting him mid air, the girl just dives right into him, her own aura flairing around her like a chi-bullet. It's enough force to knock him to the ground, the two fighters sliding across the water-laden floor some distance before coming to a stop. When the water spray clears enough for anyone to see what's going on, Hotaru is sitting atop Joe, straddling him at the waist to keep him from getting up easily, her white dress pulled up along her legs some to accommodate the position.
Already her hands are firmly planted on his chest, her teeth gritted in concentration as around them a whirlwind of blue chi begins to form, beholden to the young fighter's control. Once the vortex reaches a certain level of fervor, strong enough to ruffle the hair and clothing and quite likely steal Joe's custom cut hat, Hotaru cries out, "Kyaaaaa!" Pulling all of the energy back into herself, channeling it through her arms directly into the pirate's chest. The effort is tremendously draining and when the mist and debris settle, Hotaru sighs long and slowly, shoulders slouching a bit as she leans forward, still sitting on Joe, to see if he's still going to be able to move after such a direct infusion of chi.
The entire stage is covered in silence for a moment, everyone staring at the two fighters. Off to the side, scriptboy's pencil drops to the floor with a wooden rattle, the first sound to be heard after Hotaru's attack. It's as if everyone's not exactly sure what it is they just saw.
The set is in total chaos as Hotaru's attack begins. The director is screaming at the cameraman to keep the camera on the action. The cameraman is screaming at the stagehands to get out of the shot with their damned buckets of water. The sound engineers are screaming at both the director and the cameraman to keep it down so they can catch the dialogue. Chaz Periwinkle himself is trying to swindle both Claude and Bridget into signing contracts at the same time. Although Bridget is having a hard time hearing the terms of the deal with all the bucket heading and sword banging going on. This does not deter Chaz one bit though, and he produces contracts as if by magic, if magic were sitting around the Video Hut photocopying contracts all night while no one rented movies. Still, with all this going on, Chaz can still find time to give Joe a thumbs up and that signature Chaz Periwinkle smile. *sparkle* What a guy. However, when Hotaru's chi blast impacts directly into Joe's chest, the entire stage goes eerily silent.
The blast sends a torrent of water and miscellaneous debris off the sides of the ship, drenching the stagehands, the director, and a good portion of the electrical equipment supporting them. It's an utter disaster, and yet, no one is looking away. Even Joe isn't looking away. He's just laying there, suddenly on his back with Hotaru above him, his eyes locked with hers... just blinking. His mind is a little muddled. 'What the hell was that?' 'It kinda hurt, maybe it was mostly show?' 'Boy she sure looks angry, I'd better do something' And so Joe's mind creaks back to life. He pulls his fist back, and doing what Joe Higashi does best, he shoves that fist right towards Hotaru's face in an attempt to knock the evil orphan away.
COMBATSYS: Joe successfully hits Hotaru with Quick Punch.
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Hotaru 0/-------/----===|====---\-------\0 Joe
She really should have been focusing on putting distance between her and Joe, but by now Hotaru is pretty sure she's finished him off and the uncertain look in his eyes suggests to her that he can't really continue to fight. Thus it is that when he lifts his fist and clocks her right between the eyes, she doesn't even flinch until the moment of impact at which point she is effectively sent falling backward off of him, rolling over once, and landing face down on the stage. "Ow." It takes a moment for her to push herself up into at first a kneeling position then finally back on her feet, one hand rubbing the bridge of her nose. She hopes it doesn't end up bruising or she's going to have two black eyes for the next couple of days. All over some stupid PSA gig.
No time to fret about that now though. It would appear Joe is made of tougher stuff than she thought and she can't let up now. In spite the beating she's taken, and the energy she's spent trying to wear him out, she still feels a fair amount of strength left in her to finish this. She Huhs!, clenching her fists and centering herself. She'll see this to completion! Unlike earlier, she lets Joe get to his feet this time. But the moment he does, Hotaru takes to the air, flipping once, and diving down toward Joe with another kick, this one stronger than her last attempt. If she connects, she'll get a second kick in, then flip away to hopeful safety.
COMBATSYS: Joe fails to interrupt Rengeki Shuu from Hotaru with Hurricane Upper.
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Hotaru 0/-------/----===|=====--\-------\0 Joe
Once the little hellion is off of him, Joe scoots back and climbs to his feet, his body swaying from side to side from the exertion. He got hit pretty hard, and he's running low on energy, but he's not going to let evil win again! He's had enough! Unfortunately, while this internal justice monologue is running through his head, Hotaru's leaping into the air and preparing to smash his face in. Thankfully, Joe realizes this before it is too late and he tries to bring a nice vortex up beneath her as she zooms downward towards him. Unfortunately, Joe's hand gets caught up in one of the swinging ropes, the swift, yet incomplete vortex swirling up to wrap the rope around his wrist. The first kick lands without Joe having stopped anything. He slides backwards, his movement no dictated by the length of the rope. The second kick completes the attack, and sends Joe into the air, the rope swinging him around the mast like some sort of crazed maypole. His feet flail wildly, trying to find any sort of traction. All he gets is a lot of air, a loud clunk from his foot kicking Bridget in her bucket-head, and even more air. "Augh! Damn you!" He cries, unable to free his hand as he swings back around the mast quickly, his feet flailing wildly as he passes by Hotaru.
It was looking scary for a moment when she saw Joe's famous gesticulation that usually leads into some kind of tornado, cyclone, vortex, or other badness flying her way. Luck is on her side though as his arm catches on the stage rigging. She delivers the kicks she was going for, pushing off in the opposite direction to come down on her two feet once more. At that point, her only option is to stare at Joe flying around in circles for a long moment, only moving to sidestep Bridget as Miss BucketHead stumbles by flailing and ends up walking right off the stage with a loud crash.
What to do, what to do... From down below, Hotaru decides to try and knock Joe free with a blue chi-ball. It might hit the rope, it might him and just knock him loose. Either way probably works /just/ about as well to her. "Ha!" she exclaims as the small ball of force rolls off her fingers.
COMBATSYS: Joe endures Hotaru's Hakki Shou.
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Hotaru 0/-------/----===|=======\-------\0 Joe
The torment never seems to end, no matter how much Joe flails or claws at the rope binding his wrist. He just swings about, twisting to and fro for what seems like forever until Hotaru's damned chi ball impacts his rear, sending him careening about the mast even faster. Dammit. Not only is he stuck swinging around on this rope, now his ass really hurts. That is IT! Joe sticks his leg out, holding it completely straight in an attempt to jam his foot right into Hotaru the next time she comes past his swirling and twirling field of vision. Whether he hits her or not, a helpful stagehand comes along and cuts the rope that Joe is stuck to, sending him falling to the deck of his ship from which he will not rise until a nice nap has been had.
COMBATSYS: Joe can no longer fight.
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Hotaru 0/-------/----===|
COMBATSYS: Hotaru dodges Joe's Tiger Kick.
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Hotaru 0/-------/----===|
Her projectile doesn't free him like she had hoped, but rather sends him spinning around even more, the momentum making it all the easier for his foot to find its way to her head. Which is something she absolutely hadn't counted on and she isn't even really ready for in the slightest. Joe's coup de grace is barreling in on the orphan's face while she's just shaking her head at the spectacle. Could this have been any bigger of a mess? The set is in shambles, set crew running around trying to salvage what they can of the electric equipment. She doesn't imagine they'll be asking her back to do anything again, but that probably works out okay for her.
Joe's last ditch attack would have been enough force to easily knock her out for good, once and for all. But for one unexpected bit of interference. The tap on her shoulder causes Hotaru to turn around, the kickboxer's foot flying harmlessly past her head, missing by less than an inch. Claude is standing there, kneading his sweaty hands nervously as the young heroine of the hour faces him, "Say... uh... ah, I was wondering, since, well, things didn't work out with this take, maybe we could try again? I could be the Genital Pirate and you could, uh, do that, ah, move you did to him on the floor there. You know, with the blue light flying everywhere and all." Hotaru blinks. o O ( I've got to get an agent... )
COMBATSYS: Hotaru has ended the fight here.
The fight is finished, and a stunned crew begins to clean up the mess made. The director, excited by what he had just recorded, takes the tape from the camera and runs to his office to upload the footage to Youtube in order to improve his user rating. The cameraman, tired from having to keep up with the fast moving fighters, gets up and goes home for the day without bothering to check his water-damaged equipment. The sound engineers, realizing that they're the only ones left to finish the commercial, decide to have James Earl Jones narrate a sunset instead of the original pirate theme. Chaz Periwinkle, having made his rounds and given his card to everyone conscious and unconscious, struts out of the studio with hands in his pockets. The day had been good to Chaz, and as he slides into the seat of his '74 Pinto, pimped out with advertisements for his agency and the video hut, he flashes himself a Chaz-smile in the rear view mirror. "Yeah baby, another perfect job by the Chazster."
About fifteen minutes later, Joe Higashi awakens and drags himself out of the studio. He wanders home in his torn pirate outfit, looking like a homeless man who had just been hit by a bus. He doesn't even try to explain it to Lilly, who just shakes her head and sets about tending to his wounds once again. One of these days, Joe will have his day.
Log created on 15:40:35 04/24/2007 by Hotaru, and last modified on 13:21:21 04/25/2007.