Match of the Millennium

Description: In the outskirts of the Dark Forest, the Ikari Warriors do not have to deal with the storming ninja wars. Focusing on the Command Gear, Faolan and Clark mobilize to not only out maneuver the United Nations and NESTS, but infiltrate the Hidden Village to safely eliminate the Tekken Forces within. At least, that is the plan. But all plans are undone when a red-hatted witch with a panache for heavy metal arrives. Hamburgers are not what satiate this witch, and the Ikari Warriors are in her way. Like all the others, she is after the same target. But her motives are known only to her alone. And time repeats itself again, and again.

[CLARK]
Chaos has erupted on the world stage as the exploits of Lee Chaolan and Violet Systems have drawn the ire of the United Nations. Making matters worse, Heihachi Mishima's willingness to go to war with the whole world pushes Japan ever closer to the brink. With the threat of Justice and the Gears hanging heavily over Japan, Heidern sends in a crack team of specialists with the hopes of defusing the situation...or at least stopping Heihachi's mad ambitions to use the residents of The Hidden Village as tools in his war against the UN.

Such a serious mission calls for a special touch, and so the Ikari Warriors' field commander, Clark Still, has deployed to the area with Faolan in tow. Their objective? Subdue the Tekken Force and cover the escape of civilians. With tension in the air, the Ikaris remain confident--or at least Clark remains stoic.

"Seems like Heidern's kept your hands full, hasn't he?" Clark says dryly, adjusting his glasses. "Heard you even went face-to-face with the White Angel of Death," Clark moves through the brush, crouching low behind the base of a tree.

Clark doesn't say anything further, leaving the air open for Faolan to speak. He does that, sometimes. Ralf's more of the chatterbox.

[FAOLAN]
Honestly after the last mission Faolan has been questioning the way the Ikari Warriors have been handling things. Sure it was a small lead he handled to begin with and even following that lead left him and a mercenary dealing with Interpol. Even after that mess it hasn't gotten better.

"This whole thing has been a mess." Faolan replies to Clark. The Irishman doesn't mind being send on dangerous missions, but finally it seems Heidern realizes this is not fun and games at this point. Fao had to team with a ninja of all things and the man they ran into was tough. Tough enough to subdue Faolan and Fumiyo and stop the investigation. Or at least slow it down.

"Look, I am not complaining about the faith the boss has in me, but should like Ralf, Leona and Whip be helping us too, commander?"

[I-NO]
Imagine knowing the world is going to end.

Now in an abstract sense, with humans being distinguished by their understanding of their own mortality, everyone knows the world is going to end *someday*. But imagine if that knowledge was not abstract or distant but immediate and visceral. What do you think that would do to a person? They'd probably be a little... eccentric, right? After all, what is the point of following the rules of a culture or society that you know, you KNOW, will be dust.

Of course, now that a fucking space laser took a chunk out of a dormant volcano and world governments are at open war with multinational corporations with access to military hardware outstripping the resources of some first-world countries so maybe that visceral understanding of imminent apocalypse is more widespread than you'd think.

Here in the deep, dark forest surrounding the foot of Mt. Fuji, a warzone that also appears to be inexplicably peopled by every goddamned ninja in creation like it's a damn cul de sac in Ninjaville, there definitely shouldn't be many people out here in plain view, they probably shouldn't be sitting on a thick branch so far up in the air, and they very definitely shouldn't be dressed like they're the grand marshal for the parade at the Folsom Street Fair (don't google it).

Legs crossed, hat brim over her eyes, as Clark and Faolan approach, I-No sits up and tips her hat brim up, giving the two Ikari Warriors a most wolfish smile, eyes glittering with undisguised mischief. "Hello, boys," she throws out, giving a little wave, her voice curiously resonant through the forested area. "Fancy meeting you here."

[CLARK]
"Seems like it," Clark says leaning to get a better look before signaling Faolan to move forward. "To be honest, I'd say the same thing, but I trust the commander has a plan. Can't show all your cards until you've got a handle on what dealing with."

Clark looks up, seeing I-No. He adjusts his glasses.

"Talk later," he says to Faolan before turning to I-No. "Evening ma'am," Clark says, briefly removing his cap to tip it. "Since you're here, I'm guessing you're no ordinary civvie."

"But we aren't looking for any trouble past what we came after. We'll stay out of your way for the same professional courtesy, unless you're here on Mishima dollar."

Clark presses his glasses up. "Then there might be trouble."

[FAOLAN]
Faolan seems a bit unenthused by the response he was given by Clark. He is even about to give his piece of mind before a new voice speaks up. "Oh hell."

In this case it wasn't some weirdo that smokes cigs and enjoyed using fire to assert himself. And at least in this case Faolan has another Ikari with him in this venture instead of some ninja that wanted to talk about Twin Peaks for hours on hours.

"Sir, given the last time I was here didn't end well I don't think she is here to talk." he says. As much as he wish it could be something handled with conversation Faolan is pretty sure things won't be that easy.

"Hey, we know you don't give two tugs, but we are actually the good guys." He tells I-No. "Whatever dickward mcfuckstuff and diddle fistlehuff are after we are just here to make sure neither of them get it."

[I-NO]
"Ha!" Brushing her hands off on her... pants? what even are they... the woman in red slides off the tree and lands on the ground perfectly, as if she fell from a few inches instead of twice a person's height. She gives Faolan a toothy grin. "I already like you. 'Dickwad McFuckstuff' is good, I'm putting that in the back pocket for later." Given the speaker, this is high praise indeed.

But then she has to look at Clark, who spoke like a perfectly reasonable, polite human being. You know, probably the worst way to deal with someone like the Rock and Roll Witch, though he has no way of doing that. "Look, kids, I'll level with you: I really don't have any desire to cave your skulls in or anything and frankly the Mishimas can go back to jerking off with 40% of Japan's GDP as lube for all I fucking care. You're just doing your jobs. I get it."

She ducks her head somewhat, and the hat brim drops down over the curiously color-shifting, iridescent eyes, obscuring her face somewhat. "But between you and me? Shit is getting real up in here and it's none of your business. Specifically it's *my* fucking business and I suspect I'm already behind schedule. So basically..."

She straightens and blows a kiss at the Ikaris. She's all smiles, but her voice, when she speaks, is all business: "You seem nice but fuck off."

[CLARK]
Clark takes a long look at I-No from behind those tinted glasses. Sunglasses is not entirely accurate here, but that is what they look to be. The Ikari field commander takes the tip of his hat and pulls it down slightly.

"Sorry ma'am, but it seems like we're gonna butt heads then. We've got a job to do here, and turning tail at trouble isn't our style.

One of Clark's heavy combat boots slides backward, digging into the grassy earth. The other tilts forward, adjusting for balance. He spread his arms wide, working his fingers for a moment to make sure his gloves fit tightly. It's a grappler's stance; a grounded position ready to reach out and touch someone (and also throw them headfirst at something else).

"Watch yourself," Clark says over his shoulder to Faolan. "I doubt she's just talk." The elder Ikari watches I-No carefully, trying to size up the witch and just what, precisely, she might be capable of.

COMBATSYS: Clark has started a fight here on the left meter side.

[\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  <
Clark            0/-------/-======|

COMBATSYS: Faolan has joined the fight here on the left meter side.

[\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  <
Faolan           0/-------/-------|
[\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  <
Clark            0/-------/-======|

COMBATSYS: I-No has joined the fight here on the right meter side.

[\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  //////////////////////////////]
Faolan           0/-------/-------|=------\-------\0             I-No
[\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  <
Clark            0/-------/-======|

COMBATSYS: Clark calculates his next move.

[\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  //////////////////////////////]
Faolan           0/-------/-------|=------\-------\0             I-No
[\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  <
Clark            0/-------/-======|

[FAOLAN]
"Tch, never an easy job." Faolan says when it seems conflict it inevitable. With someone like Clark around he had hoped things would get smoothed over a bit better, but given the way I-No is acting he supposes no one would be able to make this a non combat situation.

"Ahh well. Here I was hoping we could laugh and cry. Even be a whole gambit of emotion, but...." he idly twirls is bata about then grips it with both hands. His stance shifts some as he goes silent and there is a few crackles of energy.

Blackish chi swirls about his arms and starts to siphon into the bata he holds. Given the last weirdo Faolan had to deal with in this area he is going to guess I-No is in the same threat range as Sol so he is going to be just a tad bit careful.....for a few moments at least.

COMBATSYS: Faolan gathers his will.

[\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  //////////////////////////////]
Faolan           0/-------/---====|=------\-------\0             I-No
[\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  <
Clark            0/-------/-======|

[I-NO]
Oh christ it's always got to be the hard way.

"Well," I-No says, shrugging, throwing out one hand in a 'what can you do gesture'. "I tried. Sorry about your bones and organs, fellas."

The hand that was just kinda hanging out in the air comes in and makes a strumming gesture, as if she were strumming a guitar. This is appropriate, because as she does so, she more or less SUMMONS a sky blue electric guitar of super make into her other hand, which plays a deeply resonant chord throughout this part of the forest.

Please think on that, kids. She just played an electric guitar in a perfectly audible way. Without an amp.

There is very little time to consider the impact of this, however, mostly because without any further preamble she glides right into Clark's personal area and swings the guitar at his head, two-handed. They don't call it an 'axe' for nothing, kids. If the weapon connects, it emits a powerful burst of sonic force to accompany the rather unpleasant physical sensation of, well... getting a guitar smashed into your head at high speed.

COMBATSYS: Clark blocks I-No's Heavy Strike.

[\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  //////////////////////////////]
Faolan           0/-------/---====|=------\-------\0             I-No
[    \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  <
Clark            0/-------/=======|

[CLARK]
Clark adjusts his footing slightly, nodding to Faolan over his shoulder. "Sorry they've been working you so hard, kid," he says with a nod. "Remind me to buy you a beer when we get home."

But Clark can't dwell on that because then there's a guitar. First it appears out of thin air, then it's swinging like anything but. Clark draws back with both arms, crossblocking as the instrument smashes heavily against his forearms. Bones rattle and muscles throb as he rolls with the hit, the well-built merc struggling to knocked flat-over by it.

He wordlessly moves to retaliate, his mouth curling into a grimace. First Clark steps forward and shifts, taking on a more boxer-like stance. It's after that when the punches come, a rapid-fire, machine-gun set of blows aimed to catch I-No in the wake of her swing.

[FAOLAN]
%Faolan tchs. "Kid? Don't start talking to me like the boss. I ain't that much younger." he retorts and he quickly goes quiet when I-No goes onto the attack.

The fact the strike brings Clark almost down onto his knees is proof enough this woman is dangerous. Then again Faolan isn't overly surprised at this point. Whatever this command gear thing is they are trying to get to keep out of the hands of other people seems to be drawing some downright nasty people.

"Vunderbar." the merc says with a sigh. The energy still crackling about the bata he holds and getting in close between Clark and I-No isn't the greates of ideas. That is why instead the Irishman points his bata outwards towards the rocker.

And at the tip of his bata a black ball of energy forms. One he releases with a forward thrust that sails over to I-No. Perhaps not the fastest, but getting touched by it doesn't feel great. It is like a nice big electric shock that just numbs the limbs.

COMBATSYS: I-No blocks Clark's Vulcan Punch.

[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ////////////////////////////  ]
Faolan           0/-------/---====|==-----\-------\0             I-No
[    \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  <
Clark            0/-------/=======|

COMBATSYS: I-No dodges Faolan's Irish Curse.

[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ////////////////////////////  ]
Faolan           0/-------/---====|==-----\-------\0             I-No
[    \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  <
Clark            0/-------/=======|

[I-NO]
Despite the fact that he was able to fend her off, I-No actually seems pleased when Clark is able to keep his footing after she, you know, attempts to decapitate him with a Stratocaster. It's what lets him get in close with her enough to launch and immediate counterattack, and she's gotta swing the guitar around to suddenly be in the way of Clark's ora-ora-ora-ora (okay maybe that's Ralf, who probably IS into Jojo, the fuck). There's loud clang-thumps as Clark's blows rain onto the body of the guitar, by extension sending jarring impacts up I-No's arms, meaning she doesn't get out of this unscathed.

But she IS smiling. "Oh, nice. I do love a man with stamina."

It's probably worth noting that the guitar looks factory-new as I-No draws it back, despite someone with Clark's unquestioned might having just hit it. A lot. That probably shouldn't work that way.

But there's also Faolan to consider, and the Rock Witch hasn't forgotten about him. Good thing, too, because just as she turns from Clark, the Irishman's addition to the conversation is heading her way. With a movement that's more like a glide than an actual step, she shifts to the side, the black orb sailing through the recently-vacated space between I-No and Faolan's Ikari teammate.

"Man," the red-clad woman says, raising a hand holding a guitar pick. "And now I get to make a joke about you trying to put your balls on me? It's like fucking Christmas."

She brings her arm down, playing a chord, and from -- of all things -- the strange black-and-buckle midpoint of her hat comes... a musical note? An eighth note, in fact, of a shiny metallic green, flying across the distance to deliver a return shot to Faolan, the projectile making a sound like speaker feedback if it connects.

[CLARK]
Clark furrows his brow when his fists collide with I-No's guitar in a Star Platinum-esque volley. Whether Ralf drug him into watching any such show remains vague. When his punch connects with her arm, Clark seems concerned.

"Tough," he says in appraisal, smirking a little more when I-No quips. "Good to know." He glances toward Faolan.

"It's almost like talking to Ralf," he mutters under his breath. "And don't worry about it. Leona's still kid too. Nothing to do with age or skill."

But by then, Clark has broken into a sprint, charging down at I-No with a deceptive speed for a gentleman his size. He launches forward into what looks like a dropkick--only to shift and try to lock his legs around the Rock Witch's shoulders and then drop back into a classic Frankensteiner.

COMBATSYS: I-No successfully hits Faolan with Antidepressant Scale.
~~ Alluring Hit! ~~

[       \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ////////////////////////////  ]
Faolan           1/-------/=======|====---\-------\0             I-No
[    \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  <
Clark            0/-------/=======|

[FAOLAN]
Did she.....is that a musical note? Faolan has dealt with some strange things, but this is almost on the level of absurd. Even so he looks to try and take it with a bout of seriousness since just a few moments ago she seemed to actually rock Clark rather solidly with a swing of her guitar.

He shifts to bring his shoulder to bump against the note of energy, only for the loud noise of feedback to knock the Ikari off guard and send him staggering away as he brings a hand up to cover his ear. Things are rattingling and he is disoriented for a moment, but Faolan regains his footing. "Damn woman....."

He looks to retaliate, but then Clark is already going in for the attack and looking to take I-No down to the ground. So Faolan keeps his distance for now at least. More he waits to see if I-No is grounded or managed to avoid Clark before he gives a swing with his bata aimed right at her left side.

COMBATSYS: Clark successfully hits I-No with Frankensteiner.

[      \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ////////////////////////      ]
Faolan           1/-------/=======|======-\-------\0             I-No
[      \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  <
Clark            1/------=/=======|

COMBATSYS: I-No blocks Faolan's Medium Strike.

[      \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ///////////////////////       ]
Faolan           1/-------/=======|======-\-------\0             I-No
[      \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  <
Clark            1/------=/=======|

[I-NO]
In any other situation, being the focus of attention for so many men would be a good thing. Right now, however, despite her wolfish smile, this is really not I-No's day.

Clark IS deceptively fast; the man is basically like an upright refridgerator with a baseball hat, so I-No was not exactly expecting him to move so swiftly. This means her attempt to juke out of the way of his mighty legs is somewhat too slow, and thus derailed; Clark gets his leglock and sends the red-clad witch into the ground hat-first (how does it stay on?! what even are physics?!). But because it's in her contract, she does get out one sultry "Iyaa~" on her way to the ground.

But somewhere in there, a meter is ticking up of how irritating she finds this little diversion and it jumped up a notch or two.

This might be why, when she looks to find Faolan heading her way, her dismissal is a little less blythe; the bata swings in and the witch all but bats it away with one hand and that recurring sound of mic feedback. Her eyes lock with the Irishman's and her response is to growl, "I can't even be fucked to make a dick joke about this and that fact should worry you."

Clark's got her in a leg lock. Faolan's right there. So what does she do?

She lashes out with, of all things, a guitar string that appears from nowhere, attempting to loop it around Clark's neck and then YANK with all her strength (which is, despite her voluptuous frame, considerable). "I hope everyone's enjoying themselves right now."

She probably doesn't mean that.

COMBATSYS: Clark endures I-No's Sterilization Method.

[      \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  //////////////////////        ]
Faolan           1/-------/=======|=======\-------\1             I-No
[           \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  <
Clark            1/-----==/=======|

[CLARK]
Clark shifts his position out of the Frankensteiner, keeping his legs over I-No to try to hold her in place. Maybe, he figures, she can't take off his head with a guitar if he keeps her at an angle too awkward to swing from.

Faolan comes in and his attack is repelled, but Clark takes the moment to look for an opening. At least, that's what he does until the guitar string appeals and clutches around his neck like a garrote. The mercenary tenses up in turn, gasping for breath as he tries to stay tense enough to keep from losing his head--or at least his windpipe. As the pressure increases he has to act, swiftly and decisively.

Clark swings his legs off of I-No in one swift, sweeping motion. In the next, he powers up onto his feet and reaches to plant a hand against the outside of her thigh, the other grasping her arm to try and force that tremendous, deceptive strength to let go of the guitar string.

He supplements this last effort by pivoting on his hip--and trying to hurl I-No away from him and into the nearest tree.

[FAOLAN]
The plus side is Faolan has Clark to help him out this time around to deal with the crazy. Not a damn ninja like Fumiyo. In the end she well...she didn't double cross the Ikari, but there is that whole awkward deal of Ikari and ninja working together.

"Look lady. Not sure what you want, b...." he trails off when she summons a guitar string to try and decapitate or at least choke out Clark. So telling I-No to shut up is probably the best of ideas.

It is a few moments of thought that turn into an idea to press on the attack. He will let Clark go to try and toss I-No into a tree. Even if it doesn't work well she will find the Irishman in close and looking to jab one end of his bata against her torso. Probably not the first time she had a stick poke her afterall.

Of course it doesn't feel good if it connects. Even more so given the fact if he manages to connect with the end of his bata it unleashes a bit of the electrical energy Faolan wields to give the rocker quite a shock

COMBATSYS: I-No endures Clark's Strong Throw.

[       \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  //////////////////            ]
Faolan           0/-------/=======|=======\==-----\1             I-No
[          \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  <
Clark            1/----===/=======|

COMBATSYS: I-No interrupts Saying Hello EX from Faolan with Longing Desperation.

[                \\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ////////////////              ]
Faolan           1/--<<<<</<<<<<<<|=------\-------\0             I-No
[          \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  <
Clark            1/----===/=======|

[I-NO]
Clark is an attractive man, by most standards. Tall, muscular. Sure, most of the time you can't see his eyes because of the baseball cap which is, frankly, a little creepy, but if he were your boyfriend he'd probably take it off now and then. Right?

Definitely in bed.

Like 90% sure.

Either way, when an attractive man tries to grab your thigh, you let him, even if you're attempting to prevent him and his co-worker from entering a forbidden forest full of eldritch dangers. When Clark grabs for I-No, trying to get her to let go of that guitar string, she complies. She in fact complies a little too ready, which Clark can almost certainly feel; a fighter of his experience would definitely know how someone's body feels when they're in your grip, the difference between struggle and submission, the way muscles react.

Whether or not he realizes this before his hip toss sends I-No flying into a nearby tree is anyone's guess. The real issue comes when gravity would normally assert itself. As Faolan comes in for his followup strike, I-No's body SHOULD be falling down from her impact point. That's how gravity WORKS. Things don't just float in the air unaided.

Unless they're a rock and roll-powered witch with a guitar and an extremely bad attitude.

As Faolan drives at her, bata at the ready, I-No's just... floating there. She *doesn't* slide toward the ground, because despite the impact, she had steeled herself enough to arrest her momentum at the last second. Meaning instead of dazed or groggy, she's alert. And waiting. And, you know, probably kinda pissed.

Faolan's weapon slams into her shoulder, electric energy arcing across her body, the Red Witch twisting suddenly in a movement that also brings up her pick-holding dominant hand. She then swings said hand down across her guitar. A chord plays. A very, very LOUD chord.

Sonic energy, glowing orange in the half-light of the forest, arcs from I-No's body, slamming into Faolan with a very real and very INTENSE amount of force behind it. It is a very unsubtle and, likely, very effective attempt to SEPARATE these two individuals. Considerably.

Grunting as she stands on her own two feet, adjusting her hat, I-No bites out, "See, son, that was YOUR chance to make a dick joke and you wasted it. That's on you."

[CLARK]
Clark's countenance shifts. The fact that something doesn't feel right shows clearly on his face. He knows, but by the time he knows it's too late for him to do something about it.

So instead Clark flings I-No into the tree, unwittingly creating the opening she needs to drive Faolan away from him with a power chord. Clark's still nursing his throat as his unfolds, rubbing the curve of his fingers and his palm along where the string once was. He makes a noise--not quite a word--as he and Faolan get separated.

And then he's trying to close the gap, breaking into a sprint at I-No. He rushes forward and goes low, aiming to shoulder charge into the rock-n-roller witch. If he connects, Clark digs his heels in, turning to try and toss I-No over his shoulder and position himself in a place to fall back to Faolan if need be.

"Hmm. Think Ralf would make a joke here about hard rock."

[FAOLAN]
Things were going good. At least Faolan thought so. This lady was crazy, but at least he had Clark as backup so things should go well. And it all seemed just fine as he drove the bata into her shoulder. Then that chord was played.

Much like Marty blowing the amp at Doc's place Faolan is blasted away by the intense powerful blast that is created by the chord I-No plays. It isn't like he is a small guy himself so when he is lifted up and blown away several feet it is a rather impressive feat. He impacts hard into a tree which wavers and almost looks to fall over right on top of the Ikari Warrior, but manages to stay upright for the time being.

"Hnnnowwww...." is what Faolan manages to say as he finds it hard to move at first, but manages to clamber to his feet when Clark is going right after the rocker witch. It gives Faolan time to consider things and he doesn't close in like his fellow Ikari and instead stays back.

He starts to gather his energy once more and the black electrical like chi starts to move from his big arms into the bata he wields. It starts to form a ball of energy that keeps growing larger by the moment and once a good size Faolan gives a thrusting motion. "Boss! Move!" he calls out to Clark as that giant ball of chi comes sailing right towards I-No.

COMBATSYS: I-No blocks Clark's Improvised Throw.

[                \\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ///////////////               ]
Faolan           0/-------/-<<<<<<|==-----\-------\0             I-No
[         \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  <
Clark            1/---====/=======|

COMBATSYS: Faolan successfully hits I-No with Black Friday Rule EX.

[                \\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ///////////                   ]
Faolan           0/-------/-<<<<<<|===----\-------\0             I-No
[         \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  <
Clark            1/---====/=======|

[I-NO]
I-No is not a large woman. Not a muscular woman. She's about average height and weight for an American, which... is almost certainly where she's from, because there's almost NO chance this personality was grown local here in Japan. Definitely, compared to Clark, it's like putting a willow tree next to a boulder, and the boulder's attempting to shoulder check the willow tree. Doesn't take a degree in physics to work this one out.

Clark's shoulder slams into I-No's guitar and the Ikari Warrior's momentum stops *dead*. If he looks up, he can see the Rock Witch's face which has lost every trace of the wolf smile, the flirty grin, the knowing smile. If anything, it's expressionless, the ruby lips set in a line. She's ABOUT to say something to the now-stilled Clark, when Faolan's shouted warning makes her head turn, with all the speed and dispassion of a mechanical turret. There it is, a huge Irish orb coming her way. And Clark's right there. Faolan even *warned* him.

There's a moment of instability and then I-No snarls, "Get OFF, fucker!" at Clark, shoving him away. Just in time for her to have no opportunity to put up a defense against Faolan's strike, the electric chi arcing through her whole body.

Afterward, all is silent for a moment, the witch's head bowed, hat brim low, until she suddenly starts laughing, raggedly. "Your big black balls. Really? You put your big black balls on me and not a single fucking quip. I could not be more disappointed. What are they teaching you kids in today's schools."

Her head snaps up and she turns to Clark. "I'm just so fucking DISAPPOINTED."

And then she's gliding across the distance between herself and the other Ikari, coming in low, practically skimming the ground before raising her hand upward, palm to the sky, attempting to slam it into Clark's chin. The path of her strike describes the arc of a blade-like burst of energy, looking for all intents and purposes like a spike in the levels on an audio board output.

COMBATSYS: Clark fails to interrupt Stroke The Big Tree from I-No with Napalm Strike.

[                \\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ///////////                   ]
Faolan           0/-------/-<<<<<<|=====--\-------\0             I-No
[                  \\\\\\\\\\\\  <
Clark            0/-------/----===|

[CLARK]
Clark powers at I-No and collides with the guitar. His momentum stops as shoulder presses against instrument. Clark grits his teeth, but he keeps pushing as if to test I-No's endurance. She has the power, but can she maintain it? He seems determined to find out.

But then there's the back shove. Clark slides through the dirt, his boots digging up mud. His positioning lets him slide back into a readied position, but I-No has Faolan's balls to deal with. She seems apt enough at handling them, all things considered.

But then her attention is back on Clark. She skims low, and Clark reacts. He launches up and forward, aiming to crash into I-No and execute some sort of daring airborne grapple.

"Hrrk!"

Instead, he fails to perceive the actual nature of the attack. The chi blade tears out of the ground and punches deeply into Clark's side as he leaves the ground. It sends the big, refridgerator out of a man reeling; he's tossed out of the leap in an awkward spin that causes him to crash into the grass and tumble along the forest floor. He stays there, raising into a half-crouch as he holds his wounded side.

"Gonna talk to the boss about that back-up issue," Clark says to Faolan dryly.

[FAOLAN]
"Tch, didn't realize you were that old to call me a kid." he says and gives a bit of a shrug. "Look good for your for being an old lady. Like Lita Ford good." he says and gives a smirk. He is hurting, but there is something of a bit of cockiness.

Cockiness that fades a bit when I-No goes sailing over to Clark and gives him a good clock cleaning. It quickly makes Faolan reassess the situation and think what might be best to do. He doesn't want to hold back for too long because it might just give the rocker a time to think things over and get the upper hand.

So while Clark recovers Faolan moves in to strike right towards I-No once more. He gives the Bata a twirl and goes for a quick three strike delivery with his bata, this time just pure power instead of the backup of the chi he wields. "Look, you seem fun and all. Would have a drink with you at any other time, but we got to make sure assholes don't get ahold of whatever this thing is we are supposed to recover."

COMBATSYS: I-No dodges Faolan's Windmill.

[                 \\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ///////////                   ]
Faolan           0/-------/-<<<<<<|=====--\-------\0             I-No
[                  \\\\\\\\\\\\  <
Clark            0/-------/----===|

[I-NO]
"Spoiler alert, kid," I-No says, as she straightens from having bowled Clark over just in time to find Faolan attempting to give her a friendly(*) handshake with the bata. She leans her head back, the stick passing close but harmlessly by, as the lady in red pivots, making similarly small but effective changes in her trajectory, weaving in and out of Faolan's follow-up strikes. "Even if you DO get past me, Drama Queen Gundam will laser your fucking face off anyway, so I am technically doing you a favor."

This is when she either puts paid or puts the lie to that statement, because Faolan's *right there*, Clark is considering calling for backup off in the background, and frankly I-No's patience appears to be evaporating, given the more clipped and curt nature of her otherwise sparkling mid-fight repartee. Which is to say, she brings up the guitar, holding it by the neck, and attempts to slap it into the side of Faolan's head. It's a quicker swing than what she attempted earlier with his partner, but by any objective standard of this fight, it's probably still pretty dangerous.

(* The handshake is not friendly; by calling it thus, we are engaged in the actual meaning of 'irony' for the purposes of comedic effect)

[CLARK]
Finding his glasses aschew, Clark adjusts them and straightens his hat. He takes his hand from his side (taking only a moment to smear some of the extra blood on the grass), then standing up with a bit of difficulty.

Clark pulls his glove tighter, working his shoulder to loosen it up. "OK," he says to Faolan, "All or nothing time. Better bring your A game." His attention shifts to I-No.

"Miss Death Robot in there's part of why we're here," Clark says. "She's been causing quite a headache for a lot of people," Clark manages a weak smile. "But you knew that. You her handler or something?" he asks, but just before powering toward I-No in another sprint. This time Clark launches himself bodily, leaping into the air for a flying bodyslam intended to, if nothing else, force I-No to put some effort into throwing him aside, even with her terrible strength.

COMBATSYS: Faolan fails to reflect Medium Strike from I-No with Screaming at the Wailing Wall.
- Power fail! -

[                   \\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ////////////                  ]
Clark            0/-------/------=|=======\-------\0             I-No

COMBATSYS: Faolan can no longer fight.

[                   \\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ////////////                  ]
Clark            0/-------/------=|=======\-------\0             I-No

[FAOLAN]
"Pfft, like I am afraid of whatever that is. You are kind of getting on my nerves like that fire dude with the sword I had to deal with. If not for the ninja I would have taken care of him." Probably not true as Fumiyo did help Faolan against Sol more than the Ikari would like to admit.

"A Game, right. Just know what to do." The downside is he is trying something that hasn't worked well for him. In fact the battle with Sol is the first time it has worked, but hey....it can work again....maybe? He seems confident enough about it.

That is why he looks more than fine with standing his ground when I-No comes right at him and he the bata crackles to life once more with energy as he looks to swing it up *KABONG!*

Whatever he was looking to attempt never gets to happen. The guitar instead hits him on the side of the head and instead the Irishman sort of staggers a few times and falls over onto his face. He isn't moving so it looks like this mission is fully in Clark's hands right now.

COMBATSYS: Clark successfully hits I-No with Death Lake Driver.

[                   \\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ///////                       ]
Clark            0/-------/--=====|=======\=------\1             I-No

[I-NO]
The problem with this situation is that I-No just can't seem to resist making a quip. Faolan says he doesn't give a rat's ass about the danger lying in wait in the forest and, in the process of saying so, takes a hit to the head and goes down like a (proverbial) chump. With a 'heh' and a quick strum of the strings (chord time!), she looks down at Faolan and says, amused, "Yeah, definitely givin' a good fucking show of 'I don't need to be afraid of eldritch death laser mecha' right n--"

Then Clark says something and she turns and sees the other Ikari literally seconds away from grappling her and heaves a heavy sigh. "Oh, fuck me."

There's just not enough time to get a defense in order; she wasted too much of it picking on Faolan, proving that on a conceptual level, karma is probably very real and extremely fast. I-No's toned and perfect ass basically *bounces* off the ground before rolling to a stop a number of yards away from Clark. When she gets up, she spits off to the side (she's a lady! whoa-oa-oa, she's a laaaaady) and regards the cap-wearing Ikari, lips quirking back into a smile. Sort of. Something about how high the corner of her lip goes up is a little different.

"Handler? Ha! No, and no. And if Ball And Stick over here," she adds, nudging her head Faolan-ward, "isn't just blowing smoke up my, or anyone else's, ass, then the fucking shithead is already here and my life is *complicated the fuck enough right now* so I say: fuck it. You wanna see how dangerous shit can get? Let's dance."

She raises the pick-wielding hand AGAIN, holding it high. On I-No's left and her right, at about shoulder height, appear a pair of... speakers? Spherical speakers, each one held aloft (apparently) by a single white angelic wing. Both the witch and the speakers move together, turning toward Clark.

"I'm gonna play you a song off my new album. It's a little ditty called GO FUCK YOURSELF, YOU MEATHEADED PIECE OF SHIT!"

She strums the guitar. The speakers leap to life, and as I-No continues to shred in the way that only I-No can shred, countless spheres of light -- each one appearing to hold a little broken heart -- pour of her, the guitar, the speakers... basically everywhere. And they're ALL heading for Clark.

This is your chance to become a Touhou, Clark Steel. Don't waste it.

COMBATSYS: I-No successfully hits Clark with Megalomania.
- Power hit! -
~ Cruel hit! ~

[                                < >  ////////                      ]
Clark            0/-------/--=====|==-----\-------\0             I-No

[CLARK]
Clark is on the move again almost as soon as he slams I-No. For a massive bruiser of a man he is deceptively agile when the need arises. He draws back, even as Fao goes down, and seems to be plotting his next move.

That is, until winged speakers seem to be conjured up out of thin air. The Ikari grits his teeth, looks at I-No, and has only one thing to say.

"Well, shit."

The explosion of sound and light smashes into Clark, who despite his best efforts to steel himself, goes soaring backwards in the cacophony. The storm of sound washes over him, launching him through the woods--and literally through a tree along the way. He does not come back for an encore.

COMBATSYS: Clark takes no action.

                                  >  ////////                      ]
                                  |==-----\-------\0             I-No

COMBATSYS: Clark can no longer fight.

                                  >  ////////                      ]
                                  |==-----\-------\0             I-No

[I-NO]
The playing continues for a few moments longer, I-No striking the final resonant chord with a flourish even as Clark's poor, battered body goes flying into the distance. Looking up from her big solo, I-No tips up her hat brim and looks around, seeing Faolan on the ground and Clark off in the distance past a... well, a bisected tree. Echoing the Ikari she just threw her most potent technique at, the Rock Witch whistles. "Well, shit."

There's a long moment, and then she sighs before walking over to a nearby rock and having a seat on it, crossing her legs. If she were a smoker, she'd probably be lighting up right now; it's that kind of languid gesture. "Now, you boys are too unconscious to hear this, but on the off chance that you're not out and are just playing possum, I'll let you in on a little secret: believe it or not people need to not fuck with this shit right now."

A pause; she stretches her arms over her head, interlocking fingers making an arc. "You're probably gonna be real pissed at me later and it's gonna make any other fucking run ins we have super awkward which, you know, sucks, because you seem like decent folks. But it's BECAUSE you're not asshats that I had to like, you know. Beat the shit out of you." A pause, and she stops stretching, rubbing a hand on the shoulder that Faolan hit. "Not that you didn't give back plenty, christ."

Standing up, I-No snaps her fingers, banishing her sky blue guitar back to... wherever shit goes when it's not in active RAM. "Fuck! I need a drink. And a hot stone massage. Or something." She looks out at the Ikaris. "Don't hate me, kids. When you find out how fucked up the shit I kept you from fucking with is? You're gonna thank me, believe me."

And in the blink of an eye, she's gone. So much to do, so little time.

Log created on 19:44:50 10/14/2017 by Faolan, and last modified on 11:04:17 10/20/2017.