Description: In terms of "hits" on the Rumble In The Streets website, one competitor has a disproportionate lead over all other competitors: Howard Rust, Jr in his self-proclaimed role as "HitBot." (Second is Ryu, but... no one can seem to find that guy.) The Rumble Committee would be absolutely stupid to let this guy fade away into the limelight, and let all the practically free publicity he brings to go to waste. And, of course, the number one conspiracy seen on the unofficial HitBot fan forums is: WHO IS THAT MASKED GUY IN THE TRENCHCOAT?! So, of course they set the two up for an exhibition fight, while Rust happened to be walking along the Kyoto passageway known as the "Path of Philosophy". A match between a fan favorite and an internet legend... It's like a license to print money!
There is more HitBot, due to continued inexplicable demand for probably one of the greatest brand awareness trainwrecks in recent memory. Even accounting for the countless extra cameras, for whatever reason, he's the one tuned into most. Why, asks the marketers? Why, asks the analysts? Why, asks the engineers?
Maybe it is just a mere extension of the growing nihilism and antipathy of a young demographic that loves more and more to see things go horribly wrong.
In response to the overheat issue, the ever cheerful, borderline oblivious, and curiously death-defying Howard Rust, Jr. has now somehow installed cheap hand-held battery-powered fans and clear tubes (water cooling?!) everywhere, adding to the bulk of plastic and clutter that shambles in the vaguest shape of a human being alongside the famed Philosopher's Walk of Kyoto on a cool morning.
"Hello! Good morning! Don't worry, I'm just HitBot!" So he says to passers-by, casually knocking off one of his cheap fans by scraping it against a fence where it flops into the nearby river. Oops. "Doing whatever it is HitBot does best!"
For those that are in on it by being regular viewers, there's laughs, there's waves, there's pictures. Pretty much everyone else is giving this strange pile of bad ideas a wide berth.
"...What does HitBot do best?" The 'HitBot' asks aloud, straining their range of movement with their shoulder and arm to try and stroke themselves in their tech-buried chin. "I don't think I ever came up to a real idea with."
No one has. (...Have they?)
One things was clear with HitBot:
It was a LOT more popular than Hit Bitty.
In the huge scene, amongst the adoring HitBot fans, the whole marketing team of HitBit was supporting on the side. Kiosks with the newest lines of the HitBit products was there, along with the valuable HitBot merchandise. Naturally, the HitBot merchandise was getting the most attention. There was even a digitized holographic Vocaloid model of HitBot, singing along to the HitBot Theme with realistic digitized Rust voicelikes.
"What does HitBot do best, you say?"
The question comes from a man dressed in what looks like a violet, billowy top that was unbuttoned. Leather pants are bond beneath him, as leather ribbons trail around him. Wearing a pair of big sunglasses, covering his eyes the stranger speaks with a vague british accent. This was, naturally, the CEO of HitBit's parent company, the mysterious Violet. Pointing at HitBot, he just nods. Flicking up a thumbs up, he then begins, "Why, I would say what he does best, is ex-"
And then, for a moment, a figure passes in front of the camera.
The figure was large, imposing. The flicker and flash of its tan trenchcoat by a looming figure, nearly 7 feet tall. A murmur and gasp comes through the crowd, as underneath the trenchcoat, one could see a suit jacket and tie, an excellent outfit of a detective, or an Inteprol agent. But as the silent, mysterious figure continues to pass around, the camera scans around, trying to find where he went. Amongst the audience, it finally focuses on hastily as the figure turns its head, revealing itself.
The stoic, steel mask for its face.
Violet suddenly gasps aloud, throwing the back of his hand to his forehead as he struggles not to faint in terror. "Could it be? Is it true?" The audience begins to shriek and panic, as Violet stumbles, falling back into HitBot. Turning towards HitBot, he looks straight into him from behind his glasses, looking terrified. "HitBot! You had ended the evil domination of Dr. Nakata and Restored! However! The never ending battle continues until all destructive forces are defeated!" Violet points at the looming figure as the crowd flees past HitBot and himself. He tightens his hand to a fist, and places it on his chest.
"Fight, Hitbot! For everlasting peace!"
"Eh? I said that aloud?" Of course he did, the big silly! The HitBot recoils in the face of the majestic CEO of the colorful name. The recoil of shock looks underacted and scripted, if only because the weight of his entire get-up is so hefty that almost any sudden movement can't help but /be/ that. "Well, I guess I did!"
The joining of truly great minds comes to a grinding halt to the appearance of... them. Let's just leave it as 'them.' It's enough for people to make up their mind to run screaming, fleeing, and otherwise make a whole scene of things.
HitBot 'catches' the fainting Violet by falling to a crouch via tripping over himself. The alignment of movements to the dramatic cradling of a person in distress or relief is more purely coincidental as part of the ongonig struggles of intent of motion against incredible encumbrance.
"I have?" One could almost hear brain cells straining to come up with any sort of plausible way to believe this, and yet...
"It sure sounds like something I'd do!" It's nigh-on impossible to tell if he's consciously playing along despite knowing better or is in fact taking this narrative at face value, him being himself as always, standing as this husk of plastic, tubes, fans, cameras, and whatever materials are used to comfortably(?) bind everything together standing just shy of six feet, helping himself up to something that can only be considered a combat stance in so much that he is standing largely upright.
"Now don't you worry!" He says reassuringly(?) to the CEO in distress, although in his attempt to pull himself away he probably accidentally shoves him around. "HitBot will get this all neatly sorted out! By... doing... what HitBot does!"
Clumsily careening about en route to the mysterious 7' masked trenchcoat-clad stranger, a great clash of titans in the world of robotic-like superstars of fame and rumor is sure to begin with a great, dramatic, awesome first blow to a great, quotable boast!
"Hello!" He says. "I'm HitBot!" He strains to wave a hand in greeting. "Here to do that HitBot thing! Which, come to think of it, is to say 'I'm HitBot!'"
"Probably something about beating you to save the day? I mean, if that's okay with you," he adds as he now strains to remove the HitBit-clad length of something that's probably piping but may just now well be HitBits that have physically adapted themselves into a growth that for all intents and purposes is now both HitBit and pipe. Hard to say.
Less hard to say, he has a hard time gettnig it out of the barely visible toolbelt. He strains, he grunts, he otherwise continues the fine act of making a fool of himself.
"Oh, sorry, could you... could you give me a hand?" He asks of his probable opponent of dubious desire to cooperate.
COMBATSYS: Rust has started a fight here.
COMBATSYS: Q? has joined the fight here.
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Rust 0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0 Q?
COMBATSYS: Rust assists Q?.
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Rust 0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0 Q?
The figure doesn't speak.
The figure seems to have gloves over its hands. Holding it's hands in front of it, palms down, it begins to wiggles its fingers erratically. The expressionless mask was fixed dead on HitBot, its target. As it approaches it, the figure just stands fast. The audience, once afraid, was now reconvening as their hero comes to face the mysterious stranger. "Wow! HitBot is gonna fight it!" "I heard its name is Q from the internet!" "What like from Star Trek?" Were the mutterings as HitBot approaches him and says... Hello?
And he asks for help.
Violet actually facepalms a moment. It wasn't clear if it was for HitBot in general, or just... generally HitBot. "Well?" He asks, looking past HitBot. "Didn't you hear him? Give him a hand." The figure doesn't move, except for its wiggling fingers. Violet sighs. "I can't believe- hang on a second." Violet jimmies off one of his steel-tipped shoes. Lifting it up, he gives a heave, and chucks it at the figure's head. It bounces off the steel mask.
And NOW it seems to come to life.
Looking around, the figure fixes its gaze on Violet. The CEO points down at HitBot. "Him! HitBot! Needs help!" And finally, the looming titan would understand. And with that, he comes. The movements of the heaving figure was rigid yet clumsy. Lurching forward with both hands, his massive, gripping fingers would be like beartraps, digging deep into his prey's skin. And should he get a grip on him?
It would assist him with his toolbelt.
Keeping a grip on Rust's shoulder, the mysterious figure would rummage around the toolbelt until it found the pipe. With that, it would carefully pull out the pipe, and place it into HitBot's hands. After making sure it was in place, it would tip his hat, and walk back to the starting point... still holding Rust. Only when it would reach its starting point would he realize its mistake, and helpfully return Rust back to his starting point.
By hurling him across the stone pathway.
COMBATSYS: Q? successfully hits Rust with Medium Throw.
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Rust 0/-------/----===|-------\-------\0 Q?
It takes some doing between them, but at long last, the pipe is free! It's hard to communicate the almost childlike glee akin to a young child being given something of value thought out of reach by a grown stranger, which is an increasingly stranger metaphor to write ecause how old is this man, exactly? It's, uh... well... not a flattering way to append words to.
"Thanks a lot!" Rust Jr., the ever-amazing HitBot says as he's dragged along a ways out. "Where we going, anyway? Just down the path? You and me? Well, sure. I could probably think of a few different ways to say, 'nice weather we're ha--'"
This is around the point where he is tossed away, and his deficiency in his ability to handle this sort of thing under his current, uh, physical conditions reflects itself as the mass of HitBits arranged in number and form never ever intended less 'slides' across the stone pathway and more like 'flops,' wince-worthy groans and popping noises as he eventually lands on his shoulders, backside sticking up into the air as he wiggles in the eternal struggle against limited mobility.
"Hhhhhhhhyup!" Comes the triumphant cry of a man who somehow kicks himself up to a stand with roughly the same grace as he first left it (which is to say NONE AT ALL). "Right, yep. Some sort of great big battle, eh? And so, I, HitBot, do ride forth," he waddles with surprising speed here, actually, as though approaching comfort and familiarity with this HitBit getup of his terrible design, "and... hit a bot? Something like..."
He stabs the pipe somewhere into the mysterious 'Q's' person, but the issue is more that it stands to accidentally snag itself in the coat somewhere that by the time he withdraws in the follow-through of what was originally intended to be a dramatic lunge strike, it's more like he's grabbing and yanking the larger one around with the pipe that, in the worst escalation of this mistake if not mitigated, lifts and tosses the mysterious man(?) well over his shoulder.
COMBATSYS: Q? blocks Rust's Wrecking Ball Swing.
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Rust 0/-------/----===|=------\-------\0 Q?
In a sense, it WAS an act of kindness.
After tossing HitBot away, the titanic figure returns to its wiggling finger stance. And like that, as HitBot rises again, it takes a step towards his opponent, the fight 'officially' starting. In spite of the 'man's' awkward motions, the mysterious figure was able to bring his guard up well prepared as the smaller 'man' stabs his pipe in. In fact, it seemed that Rust could stab his pipe... through the suit? It was strange, but it looked like Rust could really get that pipe in there. As he is yanked in, however, the larger thing is heaved around, and launched over HitBot's shoulder. Flipping around, the lumbering figure seemed to get some kind of agility as he nearly instantly rights himself up as he is his flipped. With a heavy thud, the titantic figure lands on both feet upon the stone. Yellow lights gaze from the thing's eyes as it is fixed upon HitBot.
There was still no expression.
"Hmmm... very interesting." Violet states, observing the two fighters. "HitBot, did you see how it reacted? Such grace! Such agility! Oh yes! Oh yes!~ Excellent! Excellent!~" The CEO seemed to be getting overwhelmed again as he watches the lumbering giant already advance. Moving with steady, slow thumps, the titanic figure thunders back with a clumsy, almost tumbling hurl. Bringing a powerful fist back, he hurls out a slow, telegraphed haymaker, attempting to smash it squarely into HitBot's chest. What it lacked in speed?
It clearly made up with unstoppable power.
COMBATSYS: Rust interrupts Strong Punch from Q? with Drywall Palm.
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Rust 0/-------/--=====|===----\-------\0 Q?
It seems almost too stoic for the likes of HitBot, how they seem little discouraged nor intimidated by the sudden show of aerial agility in which they could catch themselves and immediately return a strike in kind. The expressionlessness seems to be two of a kind.
Violet talks, and HitBot's head turns. He raises his free hand - his right - to Q.
The extended right hand, outstretched and open, is in its original intent a quick gesture as if to say 'wait, hold on.' In the heat of the moment, he has forgotten that he has given such rote training and perfected routine to a gesture that has complete 100% overlap against the more benign expression of this common hand signal.
What should be 'wait, hold on' is instead - or maybe just 'also is' - the equivalent of a weaponized high five whose form is so smooth and focused in the movements in-between rest and action that it just can no longer be anything /but/ that.
The haymaker just slips past the HitBit-clad arm, dislodges a bunch of fans (one smacks HitBot in the side of the head), and probably shears off some of the excess of HitBits that make up his shoulder. Between their two postures, Rust Jr. narrowly averts changing what was a shot to the chest to a clean blow to his own skull which... well, he could probably do with more of those.
In turn, the outstretched hand - the (in)famous Drywall Palm - finds purchase somewhere around chest level against the (even more in)famous Q, probably shoving them back and giving some space.
"Oh... did you need me to watch him?" He asks of Violet. "Sorry about that! Wasn't really paying much attention..." To his own opponent?! He rolls his right shoulder about as well as he can under this encumbrance in wake of it soaking in the worst of the haymaker, rearing back the pipe-wielding left arm again.
"Guess I could give that one anoth--"
And then HitBot high-fives the mysterious fighter.
The crowd erupts into a roar of cheers, as instantly, the HitBot meme of him high-fiving Q hits imgur. It was already an animated meme. That was the power of HitBot. And yet, as the blow comes, it meets its own palm into the chest. Right there, Rust could feel the sheer girth and hardness of its torso. It must be wearing armor under there, or be a hell of a cruncher. As the blow comes, Q comes stumbling backwards, falling back with flailing, clumsy arms. "Don't worry HitBot!" Violet states, dismissing with his hand. "You don't need to watch him."
"He just needs to watch you!"
As a matter of fact, the mysterious figure does seem to be stopping. Watching. Studying. Analyzing. The fingers wiggle in place as the titanic figure just watches. And yet, Violet was nearly dancing in place as he dramatically thrusts a hand towards the stranger. "Look at him! He is taking in your every move, your every stance, your every desire HitBot! It truly is incredible, isn't? The power! The grace! The skill! The.... genius!" Violet begins to fan himself, as he positions behind the crazy man. OTher crazy man. There were a lot of crazy men, in fact. Placing both hands on his shoulder, he was like in the corner of a boxing ring, invigorating his Little Mac. "It's waiting for you, HitBot. It's waiting for your next move! You know what you must do HitBot!"
"Give it... your all!"
COMBATSYS: Q? calculates its next move.
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Rust 0/-------/--=====|===----\-------\0 Q?
"Oh. Huh. That makes sense. I guess I am more of the spectacle!" Grasping somewhere at the outer reaches of self-awareness about just how much of a moron he is, the HitBot makes a laudable attempt to puff their chest out, but it is too heavily weighed down in HitBits.
Violet's cheers grow to a greater fever pitch. The crowds, those that have embraced the sheer entertainment born of the entire audacity of this scenario, seem to encourage something more. Something to remember! Something to be ashamed of the following day!
"I sure do! I sure know what to do," HitBot says as he takes a few steps forward to the waiting, anticipating internet super-legend that is Q(?), as he gracefully - yes, this is not ironic, it is graceful given the circumstances! - lifts his left leg up, straining to bend it too far inward as he raises his arms up slowly, deliberately, challenging the range of movement actually available to him...
Dramatically, the leg stabs down into the ground as he turns a full one-eighty, taking the pipe-shaped mass o' HitBits in both hands above him on either end as he tilts his head back, leaning back further... further... further...
And then he brings his right hand down against the ground and lifts both legs up, fighting against gravity and sheer physics alike as he bends those legs inward and somehow manages to wrap his left arm around the pipe and slowly lower it up against his back as though picking a very awkward time to scratch at one's back...
Popping up into a small hop where he seems to land on his nose(?!), his entire body straightens out the profile so that aside from the conceit of 'looking up,' he may well be standing on the ground completely upside down...
He pops upright again once more, somehow managing to wrap his arms around himself about as far as he really can as he turns his head slowly and coyly, in some sort of posture that might be appropriately teasing if he were Marilyn Monroe and not... you know, himself, and...
So, he's just making stupid poses. To give him credit, if one wants to go for 'most stupid,' that technically constitutes a 'best.'
"I got some more," he asides, "should I keep going, or, uh..."
COMBATSYS: Rust gathers his will.
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Rust 1/------=/=======|===----\-------\0 Q?
"No, no, that's fine HitBot."
Violet was actually watch the show with significant interest. He really... he really didn't know what he was seeing. But he was seeing it. Meanwhile, the mysterious opponent just watches, wordlessly, at the incredible posturing of the man. Violet was even BLUSHING at this show, as the audience was... slowly going more and more silent. "I think he's gotten a good idea what you're about. Okay. Hey you!" Violet waves at the strange figure, as it suddenly turns to face at Violet. Violet snaps his fingers, and takes a very... serious, painfully serioues tone to his voice. "It's time."
"Activate Super DX Mode."
The figure suddenly jolts. Swinging its arms around swiftly, it shudders violently. And with that, it grips its trenchcoat. With a heave, it pulls it off, revealing the jacket and slacks underneath. Hurling it away, steam seems to be puffing out from its metal mask. The audience screams and gasps as the mysterious Q(?) takes both of its hands, seizing the mask... and starts to pull. Tugging harder and harder at it, there is a last hiss of steam as something 'snaps' on the mask. Something releases. And slowly, it removes its metal mask, and underneath it...
Is another metal face.
The face is smooth and metal, with barely any features on it. Save, of course, a pair of red lamps to form its eyes. With a deft gesture, it tosses aside the mask. Violet begins to slow clap, stepping forward between the mysterious figure, and HitBot. He looks towards Rust, and bows slightly, waving towards his opponent.
"HitBot... meet Combot."
The robot continues to wiggle its fingers as it stands fast, staring with a blank intent. Violet steps back arms spread wide apart. "With the help of HitBit, this is the future of martial art technology. Combot is able to analyze the billions of variables that is each and every one of you fighters, every single one. And with that information, can process it and replicate it... selectively." The crowd gasps and mumbles, the legendary HitBot facing down... was it another actor? The mysterious robot doesn't respond yet, only fixing its gaze on Rust. "Combot?" Violet thrusts a finger and his entire arm at the robot. "Show him what you can do." Combot's eyes blink for a moment, and suddenly, he jolts to life.
And it approaches HitBot with a ridiculous stumble.
Heaving forward awkwardly towards Hitbot, Combot lurches and flails as he takes into the air. With a lurch, the robot unleashes a clumsy spin kick as he flings towards HitBot. Whether it struck or not, it seemed that the robot would then follow up with a second, forceful straight kick after it. A second kick which, for some strange reason, seems to knock him back-
It couldn't be.
... Could it?
COMBATSYS: Rust blocks Q?'s Girder Sway.
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Rust 1/----===/=======|====---\-------\0 Q?
"Ngaaah!" The pose transitions to that of a man who comically recoils at the trenchcoat removal, hiding virgin eyes (wait, isn't he a father, with two confirmed biological children?) from what lies underneath, as though being a surrogate stand-in for the crowds that are no doubt as equally shocked as he is about this sudden change of clothing plans--
"Huh," he says as he is looking eye-to-eye with the smooth metal face that only has those foreboding red stand-ins for eyes, "that's not too bad," he murmurs as he is approached with a little bow and a wave. "Hi!"
"Helo Combot, meet HitBot!" He says after Violet's introduction, running a small but real threat of accidentally starting to talk over the impending plot exposition, but luckily for all involved, he keeps his trap shut for a few precious minutes while Violet goes over all the specifics involved. Jr. seems to be in the 'ooh, ahh' camp throughout.
"Hyup!" The dim-witted ninja craftsman is relatively on-point for dealing with that first kick, expertly guarding it with his right forearm. Given what Violet just talked about, it should be clear what the follow-up is going to be...
The second arrives, kicking back what might've been the beginnings of a back-hand swing and instead seeing the both of them given distance with one another, the 'original' staggering, the other one leaping back off the force of the second kick.
This should be a sign of worry for just about anyone - the ability to discern every movement of the human body, across who knows how many physiological variations there are to the anatomy of the most successful examples - and mimic them to such a fine degree? How many deep secrets threaten to be exposed to the world at large? How many forbidden techniques stand to turn into a plaything of a homonculous of metal, plastic, electricity, and cold machine logic?
"This... this is fantastic!" The HitBot cheers. "Technology is freaking sweet!" He starts to laugh at the whole picture of it, maybe not quite wrapping his head around just how ridiculous it's all about to make him and his technique look, as a man that probably should've settled down and stopped this nonsense completely for good roughly ten years ago.
Moving in against a disadvantageous position - the very point of the Girder Sway is to give a little breathing space to bob and weave from there, after all - the HitBot staggers along virtually tripping over his own excitement in getting to see the Combot's purported capabilities first hand, reaching out on top over its head with his right hand.
"Does it have the face-plant shove? I haven't done that one in a while," he says, offering unironically to demonstrate as he slams that right hand down for the top of the Combot, threatening to plant it face-down into the stone path in an instance where his clumsy HitBit bulk might actually work in his favor in coaxing the downward movement, "I gotta see if it does--"
Nothing good is going to come from this.
COMBATSYS: Rust successfully hits Q? with Brick Stacker.
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Rust 1/-----==/=======|======-\-------\0 Q?
To be fair, Rust Jr. might be Mormon.
As Combot unleashes the signature GIRDER SWAY straight into HitBot, the crowd gasps and murmurs. This was impossible. As Combot rebounds off, he lands squarely on his feet. Violet pumps a fist in the air as HitBot attempts his counterattack. "Yes! Yes! Oh Excellent!~" He coos. "It has the data from ALL your technique, HitBot. Every technique you have performed, it has observed. Thus not only can it copy your techniques, but it can even counter them perfectly, reacting with flawless form as-"
Combot is immediately faceplanted down to the stone without a single attempt at defending itself.
"Oh, hm. That should have-" Violet suddenly reaches a hand out. Somebody hands him a clipboard. Violet goes over the clipboard, muttering to himself. "Oh.... oh dear. That -is- the first time you've done Brick Stacker in this tournament." Violet tut tuts, shaking his head. "Well! This is a learning experience for everyone!" Violet pipes up cheerfully. "As noted, Combot only really learns from the inputs of the HitBit device. You'll see that it is not just you, Hitbot, that it remembers. Perhaps you'll notice the techniques of some your opponents!" The robot lifts up an arm, keeping it level to HitBot.
And he fires the fist straight at HitBot.
The fist fires out in a slight corkscrew pattern, exhaust trailing out behind it. Jetting forward, it was aiming to hit HitBot squarely in the chest. Just like... just like another opponent that HitBot once faced. A woman faints in the crowd as it seems, all too sudden, that HitBot was facing his own Doc Robot. At the handless limb still stuck out, there is a shudder. Underneath, a claw emerges from where the fist was once was. A clamping claw.
A Combot claw.
COMBATSYS: Q? successfully hits Rust with Rocket Punch.
-* CRITICAL HIT! *-
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Rust 1/--=====/=======|======-\-------\0 Q?
"You're right, that would say a whole lot with," Jr. nods along as he backs away from the face-slammed Combot, "wonder what other sorts of really neat super hidden techniques I've forgotten to use..."
Is he doing this on purpose?! There's no way he can be pretending to be this dumb in the face of a sneaky, subversive triumph of scientific research and advancement under the noses of unsuspecting warriors!
As he's busy contemplating what other items on the list there are to run down, the Combot is foolishly allowed to regain their footing under the guise of continued education and interest in what it is and what it does. "Ooh! Which one's this?"
He acts as he even steps up towards the machine while it levels its arm, the HitBot leaning ever forward as though to squint at the finer details of its knuckles for some obscure reason that defies basic human survival instinct. (How did this man get to procreate, again? More than once?)
Moments later, spittle rules the space where the HitBot once stood, lifted clean off his feet and sent in a spiral while the fist is embedded squarely in their throat. A tree shudders in the distance under having to hold back the bulk of the unwitting mascot from being blasted clear across prefecture borders. They peel off indented bark and collapse into a dusty heap back onto the stone walkway.
Caretakers are going to have a /fit/ over that tree.
A series of coughs confirm that the rocket pucnh at least didn't kill him, as he pulls himself into a standing position with all the grace of a lumbering drunk, being forced to use the pipe-shaped mass o' HitBits as a crutch.
He says something wheezy and incomprehensible, his voice having not yet returned to him, pointing his weapon of choice across the distance between them. He moves forward in something that will be summarized as a jog for sake of brevity lest one want another few paragraphs dedicated to just how stupid and awkward it is for him to move with any sort of speed at all, and, coming in back closer...
"They got everything they need to do that too?" He seems in pretty good cheer for getting near-fatally punched in the throat, but that's... kind of par for him as he coughs fitfully. It's not hard to imagine there's the formation of a very, very terrible idea going in there which the world will no doubt be forced to suffer.
At least, some point after where he suddenly walks into the Combot and... keeps trying to walk up the Combot, and...
Oh, it's definitely the Step Ladder rising climb-and-kickoff technique, but he's just too weighed down to properly do it. He seems content about at least trying to walk all over the poor, unlucky summation of amazing groundbreaking technological research into fighting technique.
COMBATSYS: Q? counters Weakened Step Ladder from Rust with Hyperdrive Nagase Spiral EX.
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Rust 2/<<<<<<</<<<<<<<|=======\-------\0 Q?
The crowd just -winces-
Violet flashes out a wild thumbs up, as Rust sputters and struggles back up. "A fantastic question, HitBot! Oh yes, excellent! Thanks to the dynamic systems of the Combot, it can procure simple fascimiles of weaponry in order to perform armed martial arts! We have everything with it except... Well, two things." Violet throws out two fingers. "Due to our feedback from our legal teams, we cannot use anything what is considered 'signature.' Now there has been a great deal of feedback back and forth on what is considered signature. The other thing we haven't been able to muster properly is actual energy attacks. We have experimented with giving him laser vision, but every time we do it, he suddenly grows wings. I don't know how he does it! It's science!" Meanwhile, Hitbot was rushing in with the Step Ladder set up. As he tries to walk all over Combot, the robot seems to be helping the fan favorite out, holding out his hands to help him up.
And Combot launches into the air.
The Izuna Drop. Emulated by countless ninjas, mastered by few. This variation was clearly copied from one of Zach Glenn's opponents; the Ex-Marine having faced a kind of bumblebee ninja that looked vaguely like a popular artist. Except naturally, the artist was a male, and this was from a female ninja. Combot catches the man's foot with the good hand, clamping the claw on the other leg as he takes up into the air. Hugging HitBot so close to him, he rises up and over at a 45 degree angle, before pivoting, turning upside down. Spinning as he goes, he finally smashes HitBot down to the ground in the pure Izuna Drop. Beautiful. Elegant. Robotic. Already, there was fresh new artwork and fanfictions from the robust HitBot fanbase, pairing off the robot with the other robot. HitCom pairings was new, and yet already the enduring pairing.
"*Beep boop*" Was the noise from Combot, as he steadily attempts to recover from the drop.
In addition, there is now an artful view of the HitBot's lower half of their body sticking up out of the stone walkway in the destructive aftermath of the Izuna Drop. That the legs make a perfect 'V' shape, stiff and unmoving, gives some credence to the idea of that maybe this demonstration was a little too representative of the final product.
The legs start to wiggle, wriggle, and... riggle? Maybe just iggle? There was once some clever wordplay here, now laid low by the limitations of the English language as of the real world's December 15th, 2016. Perhaps one day, its proper destiny will be fulfilled, but that day is not today. Instead, in this fictional today, there is just signs of life after another piece of gut-wrenchingly awful physical trauma that borders being out-and-out cartoonish.
The rest of the so-called 'HitBot' pops themselves out of their little hole, now matching the Combot's stagger in his own attempt to recover from that drop. Whatever he looks like under all that plastic, there's only a few thin lines of blood coming down his face to give viewers a look into the true extent of his injuries.
"N-Now I just got hit on the head all heavy-like," really that should be his go-to excuse for everything stupid he ever says, should he ever acknowledge when anything he says is stupid, "but it goes as far as... even the weapons?" He sounds positively excited by the prospects of this idea as he stumbles about as though his brain were working more overtime than usual to remain upright and vaguely coherent after the latest trauma.
"I gotta see this!" The HitBot says with the goofiest smile as the hands start to dig deep into the recesses of the many loose HitBit device folds that would all but obscure the toolbelt. The toolbelt itself is further infiltrated by HitBit items that have somehow annexed the existence of the tools they should hold.
To the human eye, a man is obviously struggling with over-dressing themselves.
Without that context of matters of 'wearing clothes,' it seems more like their fingers are digging and tearing at their own flesh to tear off pieces of themselves as the pipe-shaped thing is placed down on the ground in favor of two handfuls of handheld tool-shaped HitBit /things/, as the legs spread apart somewhat and the unexpected runaway favorite of the fans at home adopts a lower stance.
Almost like a competent ninja, which he technically is to the very shame of the word 'competent.'
"HYAHHWAHHEAHHIAHHEAH!" A weird series of grunts follows as it's one handful... after another handful... after yet another handful of these things being thrown like darts in a relatively constant stream of them headed for the Combot, a sudden shift in tone from goofy misheard requests and strange poses into something that might really be dangerous!
Well, he sure sounds like he's enjoying himself.
COMBATSYS: Rust successfully hits Q? with Hard Day's Work.
[ \\\\\\\\ < > ////////////// ]
Rust 1/-------/<<<<<<<|=======\===----\1 Q?
As HitBot was stuck in the ground, Combot approaches to finishes the job.
"Hoooold on there Combot!" Violet states aloud, bringing up a hand as emphasis for him to hold fast. Combot obeys, staying still as Rust struggles his way out of his prediciment. As the insane man recovers fully, a sigh of relief comes from the crowd. Violet was playing both sides here, it seemed. As he demands to see the newest weapon feature, Violet shrugs. "Well, you see, there was really only ONE person we managed to properly get uploaded into the system. If you can give me a minute, I probably could get one going..." Violet reaches out with the clipboard. The clipboard is removed, and Violet is given a tablet. He muddles through the tablet. "Now hang on a second, I'm sure we got something..." The crowd begins to cheer suddenly, as Violet peers up from the tablet.
Combot was staying put, as he is covered with HitBit devices.
"Oh my!~" Violet exclaims, bringing his hands to his head. "Oh excellent HitBot!~ Combot! You no longer need to hold!" Combot suddenly jolts back to life as the last wave of HitBit devices slams into him, sending him struggling back. "Now, Combot. Lets try the Maki subroutine, okay?~" Combot suddenly jolts, and back flips. Placing a hand and a claw on its hips, it gives a sassy hip sway as it seems to taunt HitBot. He then reaches into his suit... right through it in fact, and pulls out what looks like a pair of metal poles with handles stuck out of them.
A pair of tonfas.
Combot moves quickly, as he surges forward. The faux tonfas armed, the Combot begins to swing the tonfas, again and again, in flawless harmony. Oh, the sheer detail of the blows as it unleashes them. The precise timing and chaining of the kicks between the tonfa blows. Combot was going all out as it swings, swings, kicks, kicks, into the ultimate combo of the ninja terror that is Maki. The assault only ends as Combot unleashes a backflip.
And stands fast, tonfas on its hips, with a sassy hip sway.
COMBATSYS: Rust manages a miraculous escape from Q?'s Bushin Gou Rai Ha!
[ \\\\\\\\ < > ////////////// ]
Rust 1/-------/<<<<<<<|-------\-------\0 Q?
"Maki?!" So the man exclaims. "Maki. Maki, Maki, Maki. This name should be familiar," and it ought to, given their encounter quite a long while back, "something I know I probably made a big deal about. Hmm..."
Maybe getting hit by tonfas will jog his memory? He gives up ground quickly when Combot starts coming in swinging. At first, it's just big, wide, backwards strides like he were fighting against the weight of his own outfit to stay upright, but then...
He leaps back with hands outstretched, landing cleanly into a handsta-- wow, he can actually do that like this? The answer appears to be 'yes,' as he transitions between such evasive maneuvers with every oncoming strike.
His amazing series of physics-defying backflips, against his own self-imposed restraints of the HitBot costume (to say it's a 'costume' is being overly charitable when the whole thing was born of 'let's put as many HitBits on me as we can'), might say that on some undefined level, there is just something this man has - knowledge? Experience? Fortitude? Luck? Against the obscure and powerful arts of Bushin-ryu. It has been said that he did, in fact, have some very surprising names among his teachers in putting together his art.
Absolutely none of these surprising names would ever say that the way he manages to back-flip himself right into that very hole he just managed to struggle out of is part of any secret he was entrusted.
He fits back into it as comfortably as he first fell into it as his legs fan out straight in a V-shape in this ill-thought series of maneuvers that he was within inches of clearing entirely in a beautiful display of agility.
...To be fair, he did clear the strikes. He's just back to being stuck in the hole. There's just something so appropriate in the final topped-off bit of sass even for a final backflip kick that got nothing but air. It's not exactly a crowning achievement on anyone's part.
At some point he reaches over with his left leg and lightly sways it around as if to try and tap the Combot as though it were some sort of obligation that he has to fulfill even if there is precious little kind one could say about the attempt.
Then again, it is Rust Jr., and therein lies the odds it may or may not be part of some horrific killing technique deeply nestled within layers upon lyaers of pure slapstick-esque idiocy, but, what would be the chances of that?
COMBATSYS: Q? counters Light Kick from Rust with Stun Gun Smasher.
[ \\\\ < > ///////////// ]
Rust 1/----===/=======|=------\-------\0 Q?
The fact was, Rust Jr. -was- a world champion.
As Violet watches with eyes wide, he saw the world champion nimbly evade the full bear of the assault... by carefully backflipping into the hole he created head first. This, for some reason, seems to have broken Combot's offensive programming, as he continues the combo right in the space between the legs. By the time Combot does his sassy taunt, Violet wipes the sweat from his brow, the tears from his eyes. "Incredible HitBot! Amazing! Oh!" And with that, he thrusts out a thumbs up to the mascot.
Combot stands fast, right in front of HitBot's legs, in a passive defensive stance. Guard up. One hand, one claw. Still had a tie. Still had the slacks. And yet, it waited. Waited. Waited for some kind of reaction, some kind of response from HitBot. And gingerly, delicately, Rust gives the faintest kick. More of a flail. It comes right at HitBot.
And it was like hitting a tripwire.
Combot rockets straight up into the air, grabbing the leg. There is a distinct popping sound as he brings HitBot right up out of the air. Lifting high up, the robot comes rioting back down, slamming Rust Jr. right back into the hole again. This time, legs first. Coming back down, it plays back a digitized audio recording of Blue Mary.
"*STAN* *GOON* *STOONER*"
There's only a token bit of resistance about being yanked out of the ground. It's not of any conscious effort of the HitBot's - he really did manage to wedge himself right back in there as tightly as he was first introduced! There's something of a strange elastic quality to the way he snaps out of there under duress after Combot yanks him free, the (sadly) world champion fighter.
At the apex of the rise into the air, the HitBit-covered human has themselves the strangest open smile that is entirely akin to a six year old child having the time of their lives, to the backdrop of a stream of blood going down their face, over their eye, and probably at a rate that a reasonable referee would've stopped the bout some time ago. But look at him! He's having fun! Having fun all the way up, and then, on the way d--
Thud! He lands now with his ARMS up in a V shape for no discernible reason, hands open and outstretched. It's like a photo of him riding a roller coaster was plucked to be inserted into reality in his place
...One would think those eyes of his would pop out of his head after he is slammed right back INTO the hole the other way around. His mouth contorts into strange, expressive shapes as a silent hiss passes through them. His lower lip climbs far higher up his face than any lower lip on the human face should ever have the right to, shuddering and shaking and otherwise creating uncomfortable analogies about likening him to some sort of bomb that might be about to explode.
There needs to be only one thing said for all of this to end, and it comes in the form of a single, higher-pitched whine for the ages as the HitBot hits the rocks below.
His face continues to make weird shapes in wake of whatever this potential grievous injury he just suffered happens to be, rooted in place motionless outside of the weird faces he continues to make.
"Technology is greeeeeeaaaaat," he wheezes out in that strange, higher pitch, words garbled slightly from the odd movements of his lip, "also it hurts! Aaaaa lllooooooooot..."
COMBATSYS: Rust takes no action.
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
COMBATSYS: Rust can no longer fight.
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Violet flings a rose and a tablet in the air as he strides over after his robot as HitBot truly is defeated. The cameras now drift from the robot fighters, to the CEO himself. Promptly, he takes a seat on HitBot's head, as he dreamily looks at Combot. The rose lands softly besides Rust. The tablet comes with a crash on his other side. "You are.. perfection! You are... incredible! Even my father, he would look upon you, and even he would have to admit that he could never produce a son as worthy as you, Combot!" Violet wipes away a tear. "Yes, HitBot, you are right."
"Technology is great!"
Violet pulls out a violet, lacy hanky from his vest, and stands back up. Spitting in it, he polishes his Combot's head, cleaning it as would a doting mother. The marketing team was cheering and jumping, as the audience was... starting to come around to the Combot side of things. A round of applause comes, as Violet just idly gestures his hand in some direction or another. "Oh, contact the HitBit tournament team. It's time to finish this thing up, so we talk about restructuring. The HitBit work is done. My project... is ready!" The marketing team stops their high fives, and their smiles slowly fade. "What's that, sir?" Violet looks at Combot, and then, back to the marketing team at the kiosk.
And Violet flashes them a thumbs up.
The Hitbot actually makes for a very nice chair, given the circumstances. The arms eventually go limp to either side as the initial shock of... defeat? Is it defeat? Maybe it's a bit too impolite to be more specific than that. Moving on...
While the world fawns over Combot and its revealed capabilities as an advancement in so many different fields surrounding organized fighting, there is born another fan of this great new revealed figure to make waves in the world of fighting...
One of those hands rests upon the dropped tablet. Somehow far less disturbed about the prospect of being a chair as opposed to the sudden glee that enters the HitBot's eyes, curious hands retrieve the tablet from (literally) under Violet's nose.
"Ooh!" Coos the HitBot, voice only just beginning to return to its normal octaves. "What kind of apps does that thing run on...?"
Reasonable human beings would probably politely hand back this delicate piece of prototype technology to its rightful operator. Rust Jr., unfortunately for everyone involved, plays more the part of the dangerously curiously single digit-aged child and begins to poke at the tablet itself without rhyme, reason, clarity, or understanding, his head hardly shifting at all underneath Violet as he hits a second wind off of sheer enthusiasm for scientific advancement and the lowest common denominator of user inputs available.
"What's all this mean here, with..." Poke, poke, poke, poke.
The screen was flickering, but still working... unfortunately.
As HitBot hits the buttons, Combot suddenly looks at Violet with a renewed sense of purpose. Violet frowns a moment. "Hm." He states, turning back to HitBot, as he hits the buttons. "Hm." He against states, looking back at Combot. Combot reverts back to its aggressive state, its head spinning. And finally, it lurches towards Violet. The CEO nods firmly as he deflects the surging punch. "I think I understand now."
"HitBot, can you stop this crazy thing!?~"
The cameras keep trained on the CEO as backsteps, meeting each blow from the enraged Combot with his own arms. "Hitbot! Hit the green button! No, no, the OTHER green button-" Combot suddenly stops his assault, and lifts his arms into the air. With a rumble, his feet begin to shoot jets of exhaust as promptly, he flies off into the air. Violet looks up, shading his eyes. He casts a glance back to HitBot. "I didn't know he could do that." The camera pans upwards, looking at the Combot that was fading away into the distance. When suddenly, a shadow passes before it.
A figure, in a steel mask and tan trenchcoat, passes in front of the camera.
Log created on 15:04:02 02/14/2016 by Lee Chaolan, and last modified on 12:15:39 02/16/2016.