Description: As the chaos comes to a head, having suffered endless indignities at the hands of Zack and his cohort, the ancient guardian Tak awakens to wreak vengeance on the island and its remaining inhabitants, demanding Zack's head as tribute. With Zack nowhere to be found, those fighters who remain or have come to visit are begged to stop the onslaught of the animated statue and its tiki horde. Even as Trouble in Paradise appears in desperate straits, though, the film crews doggedly film away. It's the final battle, after all. The viewers at home don't want to miss that!
"I ..."
"... AM ..."
"... A GOD ..."
"... OF WAR!!"
Such is the cry of the towering stone statue, now alive, now animate, now enraged. Within the crate of the Zack Island volcano, the massive living statue was heralding the very earth to call out in divine rage. For so long, the War God had dimly been aware of the mockery unleashed upon the island. The way his tiki kin had been paraded and molested. The way that the sacred island was defiled with obscene battles between buttocks. But most dire of all, the great Stone God's crown was stolen from his head. As the volcano begins to sputter righteous flame and ash, there was one figure that dared to stand before him.
A skeletal man of metal ore, dressed in a hoodie.
That was mere moment ago. Now? The offending creation in the garment was currently being smashed into the volcanic rock below, again and again, gripped by his leg. Smashed over and over, the War God's expression is blank in its divine fury. Whirling the offensive creation overhead, he finally finishes his assault by flinging him at high speeds, straight into the mountain wall. Raising his arms overhead, the War God bellows. "I HAVE TESTED YOUR MIGHT.... AND FOUND IT WANTING." The time now was to cleanse the island of the offensive intruders. It was time to find the stolen crown. But right now, the crown could wait. The genocide could wait. Because ultimately, there were more important matters at stake."WHERE IS THE ONE WHO SERVES RICEWINE!?" Tak bellows, staring down upon his tiki minions that worship his feet.
"WHERE IS MY SATIKI!?"
COMBATSYS: Tak has started a fight here.
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Tak 0/-------/------=|
COMBATSYS: Tak has joined the fight here on the top side.
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Tak 0|-------|------=
COMBATSYS: Tak has joined the fight here as a boss!
TAK
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A giant Tiki god wrecking shit? Not on Johnny Cage's watch!
After recovering from his final tournament fight, Johnny quietly deposited his dillo costume at Jezebel's place on the island with a note: 'It was fun being your Dillo, Jez, but now that the tournament's over, it's back to our regular jobs. Hit me up sometime, maybe I can get you a part in my latest film. Your friend, Johnny Cage'. He even included his autograph. It was only right.
Now? He appears at the rim of the volcano, in his usual shirtless battle outfit. His sunglasses reflect the giant Tiki before him. "Hey, you! Oversized Trader Joe prop!" He calls. "You want a real fight? I'm right here for you! Johnny Cage is about to take you down a few pegs!"
COMBATSYS: Johnny Cage has joined the fight here.
TAK
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Johnny Cage 0/-------/-------|
Sada Asai, inheritor of this island's crow, which she is still wearing, is displeased most mightily as she sees someone fly forwards, past her head. She had seen Dr. Richard Tran go down to his probable death, and because Sada has been busy complaining about the accomodations and trying to cozen a way off the island, she did not notice that the man whom she had enslaved was, in fact
A robot. You could say she doesn't see robots, but only people. It would be technically correct.
Looking out from behind a giant piece of volcanic Tephra, Sada grimaces. She has no eagerness to hide from battle, exactly, but that creature... What the hell IS it? She's seen weird stuff, even got grabbed on by a vampire woman of some kind here on the Island of Lousy Vacations, but...
"Ah! Johnny--"
Damn, she curses to herself. I can't just lunge forwards... he's going to use his evil meerkat powers to attack me just because I gave his teammate liquor when she was actually a recovering alcoholic, and then he didn't see the humor in that premise!
Gritting her teeth, Sada purses her lips. The light gleams on the jewels in that trashy crown still atop her head.
COMBATSYS: Sada has joined the fight here.
TAK
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Sada 0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0 Johnny Cage
More challengers.
The stone god turns his head, his blank eyes directing themselves at the two challenges. A man who was beautiful. And a woman who was barely more than a child. Both would be unworthy of the War God's attention; after all, he demanded rice wine right now. As the tiki minions quake and quiver under the great stone god, Tak pauses. The great stone god double takes very slowly, focused on Sada. And there, he extends his arm, pointing a granite finger at the student of Seijyun High.
"YOU."
"YOU HAVE MY CROWN."
There is a deep rumbling sound as the War God hurls his hands high up into the air. The volcano suddenly surges with power, lava and stones exploding into the sky. The tiki minions begin to fly, spreading out to surround the duo who had come to challenge the might of Tak. But the Stone God raises his hands. "STAND DOWN MY MINIONS. I WILL DEAL WITH THIS!" The golem lowers down, reaching or the ground... and from the depths of the crater, pulls up a massive boulder of burning lava rock. Hefting it high overhead, as the volcano rumbles, the Stone God points it at the woman. "GIVE IT TO ME!" The divine statue bellows.
And there, he hurls the car sized boulder straight at Sada.
COMBATSYS: Tak knocks away Sada with Boulder.
TAK
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Sada 0/-------/=======|-------\-------\0 Johnny Cage
"Whoa! Don't get 'rocked'!" Johnny calls out to Sada. He flashes her a grin. He's 70 percent sure she can take a boulder to the face, anyway. He turns his attention back to Tak and his minions. "Listen, I know it wasn't right for Zack to take your shit, I get that. Dude's eccentric. How about you just go back to sleep and I'll make sure the crown gets placed back on your head? I mean, if not, I gotta break so, either way works for me bro. Your choice!" Johnny flies forward while extending his foot, a green chi kick aimed to plant right in the shin of the golem.
"This?" Sada says, pointing at her head as Tak declares his rage at her.
This is so surreal that fundamental survival instincts, or perhaps the true power of the cursed blood of the Asai clan, fills Sada's mind. She does not doubt, does not zing back, does not look for the wire in the back. Not now. Not yet.
She faces her future with a clear-eyed determination. Unfortunately, that future is a rock.
Sada leaps backwards which saves her from being either instantly squished, or not very squished at all. This doesn't mean she doesn't get clipped by the rock in a pretty profound way, but a sideswipe beats a head-on collision. She twists around as she's jerked up in the air, just as Johnny Cage pops a quip on her.
She spins in fact a full 720 degrees in the air.
She then lands, paradoxically sitting straight up in the sandy soil of the crater. Sada blinks several times, feeling something wet on her forehead.
"I found it," she calls to Tak. "It's MINE now! If you couldn't protect it from a fucking shithead promoter, why do you care so much when I have it?! Are you trying to say I'm not as good at being queen as Zack!? Or are you just PREJUDICED?!"
This shrieking is accompanied by her standing up, sweeping blood off her forehead, and hurling it contemptuously towards Tak. It catches fire in the air -- which, for once, is not really in any way shocking, though its napalm like intensity may surprise the tiki demon.
COMBATSYS: Tak endures Sada's Haemolacria.
TAK
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Sada 0/-------/---====|-------\-------\0 Johnny Cage
COMBATSYS: Tak interrupts Shadow Kick from Johnny Cage with Stone God's Suplex.
TAK
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Sada 0/-------/---====|===----\-------\0 Johnny Cage
"YES."
"THAT."
Tak answers Sada as the boulder clips her hard. The mighty Stone God lumbers forward with incredible power, each and every step running tremors through the whole island. Molten pools of slag make the footprints of the great titan as he approaches the young girl. And yet, in face of pure power, she still covets what is not hers? "I AM NOT PREJUCIDED!" The great titan bellows as he looms over the little female.
"I AM TAK!"
"THE WAR GOD!"
And as he reaches out to the smaller woman, he finds the other man rushing to kick him in the shin. "THIS DOES NOT CONCERN YOU, HANDSOME HUMAN!" He declares, turning away from Sada to deal with Johnny Cage. And in perfect tandem, Tak is sprayed with blood upon his stony skin. The energy crackles on his surface, corroding the stone, as the stone giant is struck by Johnny.
But Tak just plucks up the actor.
"NO." He explains, as he lifts up the actor. And with powerful motion, he promptly raises him high up and then, around to suplex him violently into the ashen dirt. Slamming him down -hard-, the full form of Tak comes down as he unleashes the Ancient Warrior Arts of the Tiki Gods.
And steadily, Tak rises.
"WHERE WERE WE."
"OH YES."
"GIVE BACK MY CROWN."
Johnny is picked up. That isn't good. Helpless, he can only brace himself when Tak slams him back down to Earth, shattering the stone and dirt of the crater, practically burying him in the rubble. He momentarily blacks out from the sudden pain through his body. Everything is a blur, but he soon regains full consciousness, bursting out of the rock with cuts and bruises all over him. Even his CAGE belt is slightly askew. "Hey hey hey, you can't just blow me off like that! I'm Johnny Cage, greatest actor and martial artist to ever come out of California...and maybe EVERYWHERE ELSE! You're not gonna get a better fight than me right now, pal!"
Johnny decides to give the golem a taste of the magic, forming a chi ball in his hands and fling it at Tak's chest.
"If you want this crown, then -"
Sada is suddenly paused by both the idea that this bauble is actually going to do something to enrage or possibly sooth Tak, the War God, the volcano demon at the epicenter of this island hell. And also, because he just suplexed Johnny Cage, who - while he may be 28, from Venice California, and not afraid to die - is possibly stronger than Sada.
The fact that Johnny is forming together a thick juicy Chi wad and throwing it out to splatter on Tak, however, reminds Sada of another salient point. She, too, can project chi out in unpleasant ways.
"This," Sada intones, "is what I think of your stupid island, and every stupid, horrible thing on it. This is what I think of your BEACHES, and your ROCKS, and your stupid deadly REEFS, and your ugly WILDLIFE, and all your fucking BUGS! This is what I think of you being such a shitty slack-ass tiki god that you let Zack build a shoddy casino on top of you, pack it up with skanks and C-listers, invite REAL people like ME, and KASUGANO, and AYUHARA, and I GUESS LORDS, to come WIGGLE AROUND for your PLEASURE."
"For HIS pleasure, I mean," Sada yells parenthetically. She strides towards the towering form of Tak as she does.
"This is what I think of this island, WHICH BELONGS," Sada bellows, sucking in another deep breath - apparently, anyway, "To JAPAN!"
And then she swipes her hand around in the air.
Whipping a bunch of acidic sweat and blood onto Tak, hopefully right in his horrible beady demon eyes!
COMBATSYS: Johnny Cage successfully hit Tak with Out Take.
-* CRITICAL HIT! *-
TAK
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Sada 0/-------/---====|====---\-------\0 Johnny Cage
COMBATSYS: Tak blocks Sada's Glow Bomber.
TAK
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Sada 0/-------/---====|====---\-------\0 Johnny Cage
Tak was truly incredible in his power.
As Sada gives her rebuttal, it seems that the divine creature is unmoved. He strides towards the schoolgirl, ignoring the broken Johnny for now. The tikis clack their arms as their god comes thundering at Sada, batting away the sweat with a simple backhand. Even though her energy still was chewing at his stony hide, it seems that nothing could hurt the creature... until Johnny hurls out his ball of energy straight at the unaware giant's chest.
And Tak cracks.
"GRAAAAAAAAH!" Comes the roar, as the volcano sudden erupts with a plume of lava, ash, and smoke. Embers rain from above, as the Stone God thunders in his rage. But this was not simple anger. This was pain; Johnny Cage, doing what Johnny Cage does, manages to actually break through the stone god's hide. And as the corrosive energy continues to eat away, the Stone God continues to stomp and flail as the volcano shares in his fury.
And those cold eyes lock onto Sada.
"JAPAN!?! JAPAN!?!?!" He roars, as the Tiki minions suddenly flee from the crater in terror. The entire island is now shuddering as the Stone God charges at Sada, the War God glowing red from the reckless fury flowing within him. As the blast of "WE WILL SEE WHAT YOUR JAPAN WILL DO FOR YOU... WHEN I TEST YOUR WORTH!" Comes the bellow as Tak, slowly swings his entire arm around, unleashing what could politely be described as an Uppercut, or rather, an Upperkut. Should the punch land, however, another explosion from the volcano will erupt...
And very likely, Sada will be launched skyward in turn.
COMBATSYS: Sada fails to interrupt Volcanic Thunder from Tak with Beat the Cheek.
! VENGEANCE !
*KNOCKED AWAY*
TAK
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Johnny Cage 0/-------/---====|
COMBATSYS: Sada can no longer fight.
TAK
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=SOMEWHERE FAR AWAY BUT SADLY NOT FAR ENOUGH=
Rockin' guitar licks scream over punchy synth as the giant boombox set up in the celestial home of the GODS OF WAR pounds out a suitable soundtrack for the display unfolding in the central Pool of Insight. Because the budget was so low, there's very little decoration and there appears to be no ceiling, but the gathered deities are at least treated to a lavish HD display of Tak's epic battle upon the volcano.
"Hmmmmm," purrs the one known as Pagan, teetering perilously on nine-inch stilettoes and idly fondling each breast in turn as she considers the combined assault of Johnny Cage and the furious, fairly disgusting Sada. "I -like- her, hoho! Do they have religion in this 'Japan'? Perhaps I should..." She licks her lips, "Convert them."
"Dø jøu mean 'turn jhem tø støne'?" Sighs long-suffering viking Vallah, wishing she was drinking in Valhalla instead of this crappy 90s attempt at rendering the eternal battle of her divine kin. All they have here is Bud Light. And a translation team who have no idea about racial sensitivity or just race in general.
"Of course I do~" lilts Pagan, sticking out her tongue and sliding a finger down the length of it, past her lip and down, down to plunge betwixt her mighty cleavage. Obviously, she's dressed like a stripper, as is historically-accurate. Then, she's pouting, because Tak seems to be on the losing side of the battle.
Fortunately for the watching WAR GODS, the TiKing's retaliation comes swiftly, and Pagan's richly-painted lips curl into a seductive grin of triumph. Leaning back from the Pool of Insight, she spreads her arms and shakes her harshly-polygonal tits around in brief, but appropriately spasmodic jubilation at this most excellent display of WAR.
"Ahoohoohoo!" She laughs, not unlike a badly-voiced owl, striking her best 'Saturday Night Fever' pose before sinking her long, toned arms back onto the tabletop. She's sure to tip her pert buttocks at a jaunty angle once she's in place, because it is forbidden for a GOD OF WAR to be anything but a ridiculous cartoon.
"Destroy them all, my rock-hard prince, or I will turn you to stone upon your return!"
Her savage fury is interrupted by another sigh from Vallah.
"Why døn't jøu ever remember that døesn't wjørk."
"YEAAAAAH! HIT HIM IN THE FACE! HIT HER IN THE FACE! HIT THEM ALL! WRBLBLRGHLRAAAGHL!"
All the assembled WAR GODS speak as one.
"SHUT UP, WARHEAD!"
Nobody likes Warhead.
"C-List? Did you just call me C-List? Hold on a second you little...uh...." Johnny's righteous indignation at the spoiled Japanese princess, whether she actually referred to him or not, is interrupted when Tak uppercuts her into the lesser stratosphere. That...was bad. He hopes she isn't dead. I mean, she was annoying, but she didn't deserve such a fate. He hopes around to avoid stray lava trails shooting up. This was a mess!
But this was also his big chance to prove to the Full Moon Society he could handle the big threats. 'Wow Johnny, you really ARE a worthwhile contribution! Can you sign my headband?' Nightwolf would say. 'Grr I am very serious and my hat is funny, but even I can see that you humans have a real badass hero in your ranks,' Raiden would say. Johnny would go, 'Aw, it was easy. I knew there was something suspicious about the island anyway. I showed that Tak guy a thing or two.'
"Alright, time to get CAGED, big guy!" he declares. His left fist ERUPTS with green chi energy, and Johnny gives a mighty warcry as he charges for Tak. He leaps and performins a rising uppercut to slam said fist into Tak's groin.
Sada leaps forwards as she raises her hand back, even as he declares his rage regarding JAPAN. He's moving slow as hell, Sada thinks with a smirk. This is going to be easURK
Sada's eyes roll back in her head as she's struck.
Then comes the immense burst.
Sada is sent flying away from Tak's brutal uppercut with immense and shocking speed. Indeed it is her airborne status which probably kept her from having her internal organs turned directly into paste, continuing her lifetime theme of doing stupidly aggressive things and being protected by her horrible curse-blood-juices and dumb, idiot luck.
She vanishes from sight.
COMBATSYS: Johnny Cage successfully hit Tak with Nutcracker.
-* CRITICAL HIT! *-
TAK
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Johnny Cage 0/-------/--=====|
Tak was not happy.
It didn't matter that he punched a girl into the air. It didn't even matter that he just knocked away his crown. What mattered was that these puny mortals were getting smashed. And smashed, they were getting. The red fury of the War God turns around after Sada is sent flying, to face the puny man that was known as Johnny Cage. And what was this little man trying to do? As he charges forth, to unleash an uppercut straight into his groin, he just stands there, ready to take it. "YOUR GROIN PUNCHES HAVE NO EFFECT ON-"
Tak is cut short as Johnny Cage's groin punch takes effect on him.
The impact comes with stone splitting force, as Tak suddenly freezes from the impact. Up above, all the other War Gods are probably wincing. Except maybe Warhead. But who cares about Warhead, he was a tool. No, Tak, whose eyes could not get wide, suddenly go wide as his entire groin region on his stone body shatters, falling into pieces to the ground. And from within, something comes out.
And what tumbles out is a small lump of iron.
"the ore!" The War God cries, clutching his head as his legs scrunch together. Lowering down, he gingerly grabs the lump, and with a great heave, shoves it back inside him. Falling to his knees, he leans forward, taking a moment to regain his composure. And it does take a moment. But once it comes back?
The side of the volcano explodes open, pouring out lava to the Brilliant Jungle below.
"GRAAAAAGH!" The Stone God babbles as he rises back up. Reaching out with his massive arms, he just flings himself at Johnny. There was no reason, no logic. Just rage, pure divine fury. If he snatched up Johnny, he would do one thing, and one thing first. The most important thing. He would reach out for Johnny... and delicately pluck off his sunglasses. He would hold them flat in the palm of his hands. And he would squeeze his hand together, to crush the sunglasses. And right after that?
He would take that same fist, and drive it into Johnny's face.
COMBATSYS: Johnny Cage blocks Tak's Medium Punch.
TAK
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Johnny Cage 0/-------/=======|
Johnny steps way back from Tak after his last assault, arms stretched wide as he turns in circles. "Is this the best you guys can throw at me? Me, Johnny Cage? Come on!" he shouts triumphantly. Of course, he may be grandstanding all too early, as he underestimates the fury of Tak after the golem makes his recovery. Johnny faces him just as his sunglasses are grabbed. "Hey, now hold on a sec...!"
Then they are crushed. The sound echoes through the crater.
Johnny barely has time to register the punch. He assumes a defensive pose with his arms crossed, taking the hit. It still knocks him back several feet with his shoes digging into the crater dirt. His arms also sport heavy red marks from the impact of the stone fists. Slowly, he lowers them, and the shadesless actor stares up at Tak.
"Those were five hundred dollar sunglasses, asshole!" he declares.
Johnny then spreads his legs and tucks his arms in, gritting his teeth as a green battle aura suddenly surrounds him. His breathing becomes heavy yet controlled as he POWERS UP. This will not go unpunished.
COMBATSYS: Johnny Cage gathers his will.
TAK
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=MEANWHILE, BACK IN THE HALL OF THE WAR GODS=
"Ooh~" Moans Pagan, touching herself in the way only a real polygonal woman can as she delights in the impact of fist against hard, hard... rock. Kabuki Jo develops a spontaneous nosebleed and falls over with @.@ eyes because he's Japanese.
"ARE WE NOT ENTERTAINED?" Bellows the gladiator Maximus, before Vallah draws her sword, despondently lops off his head and then smacks her forehead onto the black marble surrounding the Pool of Insight. "I hjate jøu all sjø vjery much," she laments.
Voodoo, crying inside, makes that weird 'click-cluck' sound that the designers of WAR GODS probably think all black people make because they're super duper racist, and passes her a Bud Light with one of his ludicrous zombie-ape arms.
"You know," says a WAR GOD in the corner with glowing green eyes and two long, pointed ears extending from his obsidian cranium, putting down his Booker Prize-winning novel long enough to pay attention to his fellows. "It seems to me that if we all just got along, we could accomplish a great deal more. It's not like we -need- any more Ore."
"Blasphemy!" Yells Ahua Kin, evil high priest of high priestliness, raising his arms and summoning a vast globe of fire which he hurls toward the offending god. "We must obtain the Ore at any cost, if it means the death of one or a thousand! A million!!"
"Mmmm," agrees Pagan, sticking her ass out a bit more so she can deal it a ringing slap and then blow the turqoise-clad high priest a kiss for no better reason than this is how she always expresses her agreement with a valid point. "I agree," she adds, making either the action or the statement totally unnecessary. Unperturbed, the sexy goddess gives a pouty 'hmph'. "Shut up, Anubis. You're not even a real god anyway."
"Actually--" begins Anubis, swatting out the pixellated fire searing his ears.
"GRBLBRBLEWARGHL!" Counters Warhead, jumping and pointing excitedly at the vast chest at the end of the Hall, in which can be seen approximately eleventy billion head-sized chunks of Ore, gathered over the millennia by the GODS OF WAR themselves.
"Oh jyes," slurs Valla, still smacking her head over and over on the edge of the Pool of Insight, "Wje shøuld absøolutely øbtain mjore Øre." Smack, smack. "Cjøme øn, Tak." Smack, smack. "Wje believe in jøu." SMACK, SMACK.
Because they have no concept of irony, all the other War Gods join in with the rhythmic smacking of their heads against the Pool of Insight.
Except Anubis, who goes back to reading his book. It's much more interesting than this shit.
It was time for Tak to end this.
As his punch comes hurling out, he hits the arms of the one Johnny Cage. He did not destroy Johnny, no. But as he recovers his punch, he opens his hand, allowing the pieces of sunglasses fall into the ash. Glowering over the human, he allows him to tell him exactly what Tak did.
And Tak just laughs.
"HA HA! I DO NOT KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!" He responds. But as Johnny Cage surges with energy, the great tiki God reaches out once again. This time, he would deal with him once and for all. Should he scoop up Johnny out of his charge, he would unleash one of the many ancient Tiki Mystic Arts unto Johnny Cage by flipping him upside down, holding him over the ground.
And dropping straight on his butt, piledriving Johnny straight down.
COMBATSYS: Johnny Cage blocks Tak's Stone God's Tombstone.
TAK
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Johnny Cage 1/=======/=======|
Johnny lets himself be grabbed, seemingly unconcerned by getting hit again. He curls himself into a ball as the piledrive happens, and while he takes a good knock on his back from the blow, he emerges with only a few more cuts and bruises on his person. Still, he stares grimly at Tak, his eyes now glowing green. He seems ever more alert to Tak's movements, studying the lumbering giant.
"What's the matter, big guy? Lost your nerve? Why don't you try that again? Unless the big bad island tiki is too scared!" he challenges.
COMBATSYS: Johnny Cage focuses on his next action.
TAK
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Try that again?
Tak's expression, was it not hewn in stone, would be livid. To be mocked me a mortal like that, to dismiss his most holy of martial techniques? The only way it could be more insulting is if Johnny Cage was engaged into a butt battle with him. Tak slams his fists to the ground, stomping his feet as a great tremor runs through the whole island once more. From the volcano, a massive boulder suddenly is launched from the depths of the earth. "TRY THAT AGAIN!? I'LL SHOW YOU!" He bellows, arms in the air. The boulder falls into his hands...
And he tries to smash it into Johnny.
Should he successfully smash it into, it would shatter. And if it shattered, Tak would then just grab the stunned Johnny, and smash him against the ground. Again and again, as he did to poor Robo-Tran. And after smashing him enough times, Tak would finish the assault by chucking the handsome actor straight into the crater wall...
Right into the same hole Robo-Tran was in, in fact.
COMBATSYS: Johnny Cage fails to counter Wrath of the Stone God from Tak with Ball Buster.
*KNOCKED AWAY*
TAK
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COMBATSYS: Johnny Cage can no longer fight.
TAK
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"You're a chump and you're ABOUT to understand why you NEVER MESS with me OR my SUNGLASSES!" Cage yells. This is it, he was the damn champion of this island tournament - HE would be the one to take out a crazy stone golem. HE, JOHNNY CAGE. He was SO ready for this!
Then the boulder comes. He is SO NOT ready for this! He starts to yell and charge but, well, the boulder smashes into him and explodes into pieces, stunning the actor long enough for Tak to make the grab and slam him again and again in the ground. Bones shatter, and Johnny's limp body is flung into a hole. He does not emerge.
Johnny Cage was buried in the wall.
And for a moment, there is only the roar of the volcano. The rumble of the earth. And the very rage of gaia, which threatened to sink the very island. Tak stands tall, his groin still smashed into rubble. A War God's rage was not subsided yet. But as his tiki minions begin to trickle back into the crater, the Stone God thunders out.
"OKAY."
"SERIOUSLY."
"WHERE DID YOU GUYS PUT SATIKI."
=HOORAY JUST WHAT YOU'VE BEEN WAITING FOR=
For the first time since a few moments ago where we totally ruined the plot point wherein the WAR GODS don't get along by making them all do the same thing at the same time except that dick Anubis because he's just dumb cosplayer's idea of a god and never existed ever-- *gasp* For the first time since THEN, the WAR GODS all cheer as almost-one, victoriously holding aloft their Bud Lights and fireballs and freaky apelike zombie arms and polygonal rendering of erect nipples (oh Pagan, you so fine).
Anubis licks a long, obsidian finger and turns the page of his book. It's at a good part.
Everyone else is thrilled at Tak's victory! Pagan shakes her boobs around, Kabuki Jo does his wardance and spouts a bunch of incomprehensible Engrish like every Japanese person ever, Voodoo stands there being really offensively black, and Ahua Kin plays with his great balls... of fire. It's a tender moment for the heavenly host.
"YEEEEEEEAH! KILL 'EM ALL! BLLLLLLOOOOOORGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!"
Warhead finishes his own, totally death metal scream only to turn around and come face-to-face with Vallah, the only other WAR GOD not united with the dysfunctional clan. Her face is a mess of burst bruises, blood dripping down the comely features of the viking princess. Holding aloft her mighty battleaxe (apparently she keeps like ten different absolutely non-anachronistic weapons in her metal brassiere) she's prepared to strike and finally rid the universe of Warhead, at least until the next round, when a keening whine sounds from far above in the void surrounding the Holy Hall.
Everyone looks up from the Pool of Insight, aghast, as a terrible chunky rendering of a UFO whirls into view and parks up right above them. A rockin' 80s synth mounted on the alien spacecraft loudly blares a G, an A, an F, then a lower-octave F and C.
"Mmmmm, first contact! My favourite~!" Giggles Pagan, divesting herself of her incredibly-cumbersome garments and lying down to receive her own Close Encounter.
It's at this precise moment that a surging laser beam blasts from the UFO and eradicates the Hall of the War Gods, who all die praying to one another, except Vallah who finds time to cry tears of unbridled joy as she's reduced to component molecules.
...and Anubis, who's an actual god and just keeps on reading his book because you can't kill actual gods and this whole TP is a JOKE you pack of losers.
Tune in tomorrow! Same WAR GODS time, same WAR GODS log.
Last Time, on War Gods: The Neverending Journey.
The Tiki Statue, Tak, came to life because he is a War God. He then punched the hell out of a school girl. Johnny Cage then punched him right in the junk. It really hurt. So then Tak turned his skeleton into soup. There was also some crap happening up in War God land, except that is non-canon because War Gods are not canon. Now Tak stands tall, with only the most pressing question of all from the great Stone God.
"THEY DID -WHAT- TO SATIKI!?!"
Up until this point, it would have been easy to declare all of the goings on during the Trouble in Paradise tournament as nothing of substance. A great big joke. Just people doing silly things while wearing sexy outfits to please an audience all around the world with their innanity.
It's much more than that.
The island has hosted a great deal of emotional conflicts. Dozens on individuals struggling in a difficult situation, while trapped in close proximity with challenges both external and internal. People have been forced to grow, to make connections, to strike out at a world that has treated them poorly.
At least that's what the recap show of Trouble in Paradise would attempt to say. Some of it is mildly accurate, however the overall situation truly has been lighthearted and mindless entertainment up until this point.
Now lives are in danger.
All of the situational shortsightedness that seemed to exist purely to allow for humor has completely vanished from Ryu Hayabusa. The Master Ninja of the Hayabusa clan is one of the few individuals that isn't truly trapped on this island following the mysterious storm. There are few boundaries in this world capable of preventing Ryu from coming and going as he pleases.
Thus it is that as he makes his return to the island, he is not dressed for island adventure. Clothed in the traditional Black Falcon of the Singular Super Ninja, he also returns far better armed. The Dragon Sword remains strapped to his back, shuriken sheathed at his sides, but hooked at one hip is the long chained blade of the violent kusarigama, and forming a cross with his sheathed blade is the long, mystical Lunar Staff.
Ancient, rampaging entities are a serious threat, and Ryu Hayabusa is a serious man.
An incredibly close camera angle on his face begins to slowly draw back from his intensely focused eyes, revealing him flying through the islands terrain at incredible speed. Charging across the beaches without leaving a single footstep, gliding between the thick foliage of the jungle, then ultimately rocketing up the side of the volcano. He flies up into the air, landing dramaticly in front of the rampaging deity, one hand supporting his body while the other is extended out to his side.
Quite frankly he looks as though an explosion should be going off behind him.
"Ancient Tak, protector of a people long lost to time," his voice comes out firm and unyielding, but unaggressive. "I am Ryu Hayabusa, Master Ninja of the Hayabusa Clan. I come here to beseech you to yield in your violence so that we may find peace. Allow these people to leave your domain unharmed."
His brow twists downward, his piercing eyes growing in intensity. "If you do not, it is my duty to dispatch you."
And what would this mean to Tak?
What is man, but a miserable pile of meat? For the ancient Stone God, all this conflict, all this misery was nothing but ash to him. Less than ash; for ash was at least a warm reminder of the volcanic heart that sits within his throne.
And now, another one of those creatures was taking another stand for this disease known as humanity.
"UGH." Comes the rumble of disgust. A tremor runs through the volcano, though at the moment, it was no longer raging. The great stone golem turns towards the black-suited mystery that had rioted into his world. Massive limbs coming up, he stares with those blank eyes at the one Ryu Hayabusa. "I WILL NOT GO PEACEFULLY." He states bluntly. "I WILL NOT GO QUIETLY. I HAVE LOST ONE OF MY CLOSEST, DEAREST FRIENDS BECAUSE OF THESE PEOPLE! I HAVE BEEN WOKEN UP! AND WORSE OF ALL, THEY HAVE TAKEN MY CROWN. MY ISLAND HOME HAS BEEN DEFILED." The volcano begins to burble up a surging burst of magma, as Tak takes a lumbering step towards the ninja.
"I WILL MAKE IT HOLY AGAIN."
"I WILL PROVE MY WORTH!"
"THROUGH WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!!!!"
The massive stone deity towers over the ninja. He seems utterly insignificant in the face of power capable of withstanding the generations and outliving its people. A being so great and mighty that the very forces of nature bow before it within its domain.
And yet Ryu Hayabusa stands his ground. There is no fear in his eyes, not even a moment where his resolve seems to be tested by that which stands before him.
He is the Ultimate Ninja.
He has fought his way through hoards of fiends, battled his way into the underworld. His duty does not allow him the luxury of weakness in the face of superior power. Even without the legendard Dragon Sword in its complete form, and his strength at its pinnacle, he will not back down.
"If you would stay your wrath I would assist you in righting the wrongs that have befallen you, but if you continue along this path of aimless retribution, my duty has been sealed. I will stand against you." Hayabusa's words remain firm and definite. He will not be bowed.
COMBATSYS: Ryu Hayabusa has joined the fight here.
TAK
[ |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| ]
0|---------------|------=========
[\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Ryu Hayabusa 0/-------/-------|
Lava was spreading in the crater now.
Spreading fast, in fact. Basalt platforms begins to float on top of the magma, as the lava creeps higher and higher. This is not explosive, no. This was slow, oozing death. As the lava laps at the heels of the great stone god, he stares down at the ninja. He does not flee? Well, he might have the heart of a hero. Calmly, the War God rumbles out a response.
"THEN YOU WILL STAND AGAINST ME..."
Tak winds back a fist.
"... BRIEFLY."
And with that, the War God unleashes the mother of all haymakers straight at the Ninja's chest.
COMBATSYS: Ryu Hayabusa blocks Tak's Strong Punch.
TAK
[ ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| ]
0|---------------|----===========
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Ryu Hayabusa 0/-------/------=|
COMBATSYS: Ryu Hayabusa equips the Kusarigama.
TAK
[ ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| ]
0|---------------|----===========
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Ryu Hayabusa [E] 0/-------/------=|
There is a reason why so many powerful, ancient beings must be dealt with. It is not that they are unworthy of living lives or that they are only worth existing for the benefit of humankind. It is that these beings are monsterously powerful, and when they initiate violence there is nearly nothing that mortal man can do to stand up to their overwhelming power.
This is why these fiends were once viewed as gods.
This is why the Hayabusa clan dedicates itself to protecting the world from their wrath.
Ryu is ready for his offer to be refused, and the moment that the giant's wrath begins to build, he's prepared, lashing down to his side to pull forth his his kusarigama. It's drawn up in front of him with the chain folded over between his hands, held taut as a makeshift shield to hold back the force of the vengeful deity. The strength behind it digs Hayabusa's heels into the black sand that lines the volcano's peak...
%But he is not bowed.
In an effort to make advantage of reach against a move sizable foe, the Super Ninja swings the scything blade of his kusarigama around, unwinding the chain in an instant as he leaps up over Tak's head. The space below him is suddenly filled by a scything metal. It would be artistic the way it seems to leave behind the shape of a six petalled flower were it not so savage.
Since Ken Masters had even made the decision to fly around the world and take on fighters from all walks of life in an effort to find whatever he's been missing that has kept him from retaining his title or earning a new one, he has been bored. He hasn't been able to find himself in a position where he could actually do something useful with his incredible skills and talents. Or even his money.
Which is probably why he was taking some time for himself on one of these cool tropical islands. Of course, though, when Ken Masters tries to take a break from all of his fighting or whatever, things never really seem to just stay that way. "Seriously?" It seems as though Ken's self-acutalized vacation has been cut short.
Montage: Street Fighter Suit Up Sequence.
Cut to: Volcanic Drama Fight Scene of Epicness.
Zoom In: Ken Masters. Arrives.
"Hey!" Ken Masters stands atop something stone and something epic because that is how he decides to make entrances into places of this type. There's like a stone god thing and a ninja and pieces of Johnny Cage's sunglasses? What the hell went on around here, anyway?
"Dude. Some of us are on vacation! Are you gonna' chill or do I have to call Oprah?" This is tossed at Tak, of course, because witty banter heroic arrivals are sort of Ken's thing.
Fourth Wall: Ken Masters Signature Wink.
Suddenly, with that 'hey look at me' arrival, Ken Masters is in the air and doing some tremendous somersaulting action off in the direction of where all this fisticuff drama is going on.
@KenMasters: Totes about to save the world from some royal ugly dude. #Kenning #HowISpentMyWinterVacation #RealHeroesWearRed
COMBATSYS: Ken Masters has joined the fight here.
TAK
[ ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| ]
0|---------------|----===========
[\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > ////////////////////////// ]
Ken Masters 0/-------/------=|=------\-------\0 [E] Ryu Hayabusa
COMBATSYS: Tak just-defends Ryu Hayabusa's Storm of Six Flowers!!
TAK
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0|---------------|----===========
[\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > ////////////////////////// ]
Ken Masters 0/-------/------=|=------\-------\0 [E] Ryu Hayabusa
Troublesome ninja.
The punch comes roaring out, striking the chain of the kusarigama with crushing power. But not fatal power. While he was a War God, he was still a material creature, hewn from stone. Tak recoils his fist, drawing back the arm as he steps in. But the ninja was already on the move, already taking to the air, already out of the reach of the massive Stone God. The blades are unleashed. Savage, yes.
But it was still merely blades.
"YOU THINK STEEL CAN DEFEAT STONE!?!" Is the roar as punches at the blades, smashing them aside. Enraged again, he slams his feet down hard into the spiralling edges. Magma waves suddenly riot across the lava... and rising under Ken Master's stone platform. As Ken calls out, and gives a wink, you could almost see Tak roll his eyes, if he could roll the eyes. "DIDN'T I JUST SMASH YOU INTO THE MOUNTAIN?" Tak rumbles bitterly at Ken. "UGH. WHY IS THIS ISLAND SO TERRIBLE NOW!?" The Stone God grabs a nearby basalt platform, lifting it high into the air. With a crunch, he crushes a crack through the boulder, and tosses it up in the air. And then, with a massive punch, he smashes the basalt boulder into a landslide of boulders, tumbling through the air straight for Ken.
"DIE AGAIN!"
COMBATSYS: Ken Masters blocks Tak's Landslide.
TAK
[ |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| ]
0|---------------|--=============
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > ////////////////////////// ]
Ken Masters 0/-------/----===|=------\-------\0 [E] Ryu Hayabusa
COMBATSYS: Ryu Hayabusa unequips Kusarigama.
TAK
[ |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| ]
0|---------------|--=============
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > ////////////////////////// ]
Ken Masters 0/-------/----===|=------\-------\0 Ryu Hayabusa
COMBATSYS: Ryu Hayabusa equips the Lunar Staff.
TAK
[ |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| ]
0|---------------|--=============
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > ////////////////////////// ]
Ken Masters 0/-------/----===|=------\-------\0 [E] Ryu Hayabusa
Hayabusa's kusarigama is hardly an ordinary blade. Worked on by the brilliant weaponsmith Muramasa to be able to withstand the strength for Hayabusa's fighting style. It is a weapon capable of great devestation and it has taken the lives of many fiends.
It is not, however, a truly mystical weapon. Perhaps the blade dulls against the rock hide of a greater fiend?
In a quick motion, the kusarigama is rehooked at the ninja's hip, and his hand draws up to the staff on his back. The staffed is tied to the power of the moon itself, legends say that it is binded by the tended of a kirin. The red painted shaft is long and capped on either end by heavy, spiked orbs, much like maces, that seem far more capable of crushing through the heavy stone.
Surging back into action, he rushes to the aid of the newly arrived combatant. Ryu has seen Ken Master's likeness before, the man holds the American title. He's a comptent fighter... he is not however a fiendslayer.
The heavy staff is twisted about in Hayabusa's hands as if it were a weightless twig. Once more he takes to the air as he aims to smash the mighty idol from behind, swinging downward with the heavy weighted end... that suddenly extends further out from the tip of the shaft on a previously hidden chain.
Maybe Ken has spent too much time watching Johnny Cage movies to realize when he's actually in a battle to save the world. He's been in a lot of fights but he hasn't had to go up against someone or something like this before. And, well, it is actually kind of weird and kind of awesome. He doesn't even realize that he's probably going to need to take this a step or two more serious than he usually does in his fights.
"Again? Dude, I know my gi is pretty killer but you gotta' stop with all this racket. I had to cancel a date because of you!"
Ken gets responded to via the sudden arrival of boulders. It looks like Tak has decided to make it rain. "... dude. uncool." Ken tries to cover up, but there's really no use. They come rolling down at him like there's no tomorrow and he gets ROCK'D something fierce.
From beneath the sudden burial ground, Ken Masters punches up through the boulders and climbs to his bare feet. It takes him a moment to shake his head and fix his hair back to its previous wild style. "You wanna' play, Rocky Mountain? Let's play!" Ken announces his intent to whoop ass before he takes a step and lets chi explode from his hands with an exclaimation of, "HADOUKEN!" to punctuate the soaring fireball of chi headed in Tak's direction.
Ken does take a moment to send a nod in Ryu's direction, in case he's paying attention to the fact that he's got some back up now. Because teamwork is also a good thing, y'know. He'll play the distance game, while Ryu Ninjaface goes in for the kill. This should work. This /will/ work. Right?
@KenMasters: Boulders hurt. #KendianaJones
Something stirs in a crater.
Johnny Cage's eyes open. How long has he been here? Weeks? Months? Has the world forgotten about Johnny Cage?...no wait, just like an hour, according to his phone. He notices he's on top of that robot freak from earlier. He ignores it and starts limping towards the light. Go towards the light.
Beaten up but still alive, Johnny emerges from the hole, seeing Ken Masters and Ryu Hayabusa fighting Tak. He grits his teeth. No smiles this time. Johnny is ANGRY.
"FIVE HUNDRED DOLLAR SUNGLASSES!" he yells, forming a chi ball in his fist.
He throws it at Tak's FACE as hard as he can. "ASSHOOOOOLE!"
COMBATSYS: Johnny Cage has joined the fight here.
TAK
[ |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| ]
0|---------------|--=============
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > //////////////////////////////]
Ken Masters 0/-------/------=|-------\-------\0 Johnny Cage
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Ryu Hayabusa [E] 0/-------/-------|
COMBATSYS: Ryu Hayabusa successfully hit Tak with Crushing Strike.
TAK
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0|---------------|===============
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > //////////////////////////////]
Ken Masters 0/-------/------=|-------\-------\0 Johnny Cage
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Ryu Hayabusa [E] 0/-------/-------|
COMBATSYS: Tak blocks Ken Masters' Hadouken.
TAK
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0|---------------|===============
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > //////////////////////////////]
Ken Masters 0/-------/-----==|-------\-------\0 Johnny Cage
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Ryu Hayabusa [E] 0/-------/-------|
COMBATSYS: Tak endures Johnny Cage's Out Take.
TAK
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1|--------------=|===============
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > //////////////////////////////]
Ken Masters 0/-------/-----==|-------\-------\0 Johnny Cage
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Ryu Hayabusa [E] 0/-------/-------|
Oh lord there were TWO Johnnys now?
Tak -hated- Johnny. He punched his stone groin, and was generally the worst human. That is, except for Ryu. The ninja decided to switch to a bludgeoning weapon. That was... that was not good for the War God. The staff with the bludgeoning tip is swung straight at Tak as he finishes hurling the boulders. Taking a heavy step, he lurches back, carefully evading the staff-
Wait no.
No that is on a chain.
The mace head crushes against the stone hide, chipping off huge sloughs of the stone body. Stumbling back from the impact, things go from bad from worse. As Johnny 2 manages to survive the avalanche of stones, he hurls out another Out Take energy ball. "UGH!" Tak just bitches, as he bats away the hadouken. "SERIOUSLY YOU GUYS ARE ASSHOLES-" And then, Johnny 1 comes out again, throwing out another Outtake or Hadouken or- dammit how many pretty boys are there. The OTHER Hadouken hits Tak squarely, as the Stone God just stops caring about Johnny 1 and Johnny 2. "THIS IS THE WORST!" Tak roars, turning to face the master Ninja. Reaching to the side, he grabs another one of the basalt platforms.
"OKAY."
"I AM GOING TO JUST DEAL WITH YOU."
"YOU AT LEAST HAVE DIGNITY."
And Tak raises the rock overhead.
And attempts to smash it down upon Ryu.
COMBATSYS: Tak successfully hits Ryu Hayabusa with Rock Crush.
TAK
[ |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| ]
1|------------===|===============
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > //////////////////////////////]
Ken Masters 0/-------/-----==|-------\-------\0 Johnny Cage
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Ryu Hayabusa [E] 0/-------/---====|
A clean hit.
As Hayabusa lands back on the ground, he knows at least that much. He's also manages to accumulate allies by now, one of them somehow being Johnny Cage himself. While the ninja may not think much of the actor's professional body of work, he is not one to refuse an ally in a difficult situation.
Even if those allies seem to spur the enemy into an incredible rage directly squarely at him. The staff is long and weighty, his best hope is to slide it back into position on his back as he cartwheels out of the way and... is pummeled under more volcanic stone.
It's painful, but not enough to hold down the Super Ninja.
Ryu Hayabusa bursts up from beneath the rubble, and rather than draw his armaments again he begins to lash out with his bare hands. Flesh can be harder than stone with will and strength, and so his fists seem completely unaffected as he swings a quick pair of punches, then launches himself into the air, barreling on in the frenzied assault by twisting furiously into a three sweeping kicks in series, all targetting at the deity's crownless head.
Ken Masters takes a moment to frown. Only because he can't really justify not frowning when his fireball of chi gets taken for granted in such a manner as it just did. He narrows his eyes and completely gets his Full House on, "How ruuuuuude."
When the arrival of Johnny Cage happens, Ken finds himself perking back up because how often does the superstar of the fighting world get to team up with the superstar of Hollywood? No, seriously, how often does an opportunity like this come along?
I'll wait.
Exactly. NOT THAT OFTEN.
Ken takes a running and justice filled leap off into the direction of Johnny, planting his feet down not too far from the Hollywood Hero. "Cage." Ken says with a nod of kindred spirit. "A hundred bucks says I kick this thing's ass before you do." Ken doesn't wait for the wager to be accepted and takes off in a run towards Tak.
"Make that a hundred bucks and an autographed picture made out to Your Mom!"
Ken modifies the bet as he gets a little closer to Tak and takes himself up into the air, leaping towards Tak with speed and an extended knee! And then another! And then another! And, sure, why not another? He's broken bricks and Honda Accords before. Stone shouldn't be so hard.
@KenMasters: Johnny Cage and Ken Masters? Together? #AwwwwwwSnap #ThisIsTheEnd #HelloLadies
Johnny finally notices none other than Ken Masters is here, as well as Ryu Hayabusa. Maybe they'd do a little better against this thing than that annoying Japanese girl. He nods back to Ken when the superstar lands nearby. "Masters," he replies. He smirks, anger momentarily forgotten, at the wager. "You got it!" he calls. Well, he'd better get moving then!
As Ken takes off with his spin kicks, Johnny goes low, charging for the stone giant's legs to get closer. His body becomes encased in a red chi aura this time, which means it's EXTRA powerful. "Here comes the pain train, oh yeah!" he cries, thrusting one foot forward as he slides the rest of the way, planting a solid kick to Take's right shin.
COMBATSYS: Tak blocks Ryu Hayabusa's Ren Kikoku Shintei.
TAK
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1|------------===|===============
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > ///////////////////////////// ]
Ken Masters 0/-------/-----==|-------\-------\0 Johnny Cage
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Ryu Hayabusa [E] 0/-------/---====|
COMBATSYS: Tak endures Johnny Cage's Eclipse Kick.
TAK
[ ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| ]
1|----------=====|===============
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > ///////////////////////////// ]
Ken Masters 0/-------/-----==|-------\-------\0 Johnny Cage
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Ryu Hayabusa [E] 0/-------/---====|
COMBATSYS: Tak interrupts Tsukami Nage from Ken Masters with Rise of the Stone God.
# Disabling hit! #
TAK
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1|--------=======|===============
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > ///////////////////////////// ]
Ken Masters 0/-------/-======|-------\-------\0 Johnny Cage
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Ryu Hayabusa [E] 0/-------/---====|
The ninja was destroyed, it seemed.
Crushing Ryu under the rubble, the War God immediately turns, leaving the ninja under the rubble. And now, he was facing Johnny and Johnny. "NOW. IT IS JUST YOU TWO. I HAVE DESTROYED YOU ONCE. TELL ME, SMALL MORTALS." He rumbles, as Ryu begins to pull himself out from the debris.
"WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW?"
And then EVERYONE STARTS AERIAL KICKING TAK.
"WHAT?! NO! YOU DARE KICK A WAR GOD!?!" He rumbles, as the lava suddenly falls, retracted within the depths of the volcano for a moment. The great stone golem was still burning with an intense heat, not that it matters though: As the combined efforts of Johnny, Johnny, and Ryu all come for a kicking assault, Tak had to make choices. Ryu, having done the most damage so far, is met with a raised arm. Each blow is deflected, the arm chipping and cracking with each blow. Johnny 1, however, is allowed to get a free hit in, the blow smashing right to his shin... and nearly smashing the leg apart. But as Ken comes in... he suddenly hurls out a standing uppercut with his free arm, breaking the spin kick with the blow. The uppercut is soon followed by a straight punch, and then, a finishing haymaker to smash Ken straight down to the ground.
K-K-KOMBO BREAKER!
With his foot coming into contact with Tak's leg, there is one simply solution: on his final kick, Ryu Hayabusa simply uses the War God as a platform to launch himself even higher into the air, twisting in what would be an impressive maneuver during a gymnastics competition. The heights possible from a simple jump from the Master Ninja defy normal physics, even in the world of professional fighters.
His bloodline is that of the falcon combined with the dragon. The skies belong to him, and even the earth itself can be made to kneel.
With its effectiveness already proven, Hayabusa reaches behind him to whip the lunar staff back out and begins to twist it around him as his rise turns to descent. This time both of the heavy, weighted ends drop out, filling the air around him with brutal, crushing power, all aimed back down at the raging god.
Ken Masters is in the middle of showing off when he finds himself getting rocked royally by the sudden explosive uppercut of War God Injustice. This smashes into him and his kicking spree with epic levels of power and hatred. This knocks Ken clear into the air and by the time he smashes back down onto something solid, there's already blood and bruising. It sucks getting hit by stone and landing on stone.
"Ugh." Ken rises to a seated position and tries to get his brain back together. "Damn... nice punch." He's pretty sure he's not talkng to Tak or he is but just to himself as well. Either way, Ken stumble climbs back to his feet and attempts to take stock of what is actually going down at this moment.
"I got your back, Johnny!" Ken tosses at the Hollywood Hero as he takes another run towards Tak. This time he drops into a slide towards that same leg that Johnny just cracked up nicely. He stays on one knee as he approaches, scuffing his gi up in the process and attempts to slam his knee right into that already breaking shin of Tak's. If he can take this leg all the way out, there might be a chance the squad can put this thing down... in time for him to make it back to his date.
"Avon Calling!"
@KenMasters: One must not throw stones. One must break them. #FortuneKennie
"Oh yeah, you two, watch out, that big bastard hits hard!" Johnny says. This probably doesn't help Ken out when the Ansatsuken warrior gets clobbered. Though ignored, Johnny is intent on showboating as much as possible. "I can't answer that question, ugly, but I can tell you where YOUR god is right now!" He slaps his chest with both hands and spreads his arms. "He's right here! Johnny Cage! I think you oughta start bowing down, huh?" He hopes to direct some of Tak's ire to his own person, all the while charging his chi up for more powerful blows.
COMBATSYS: Johnny Cage gathers his will.
TAK
[ ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| ]
1|--------=======|===============
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > //////////////////////////////]
Ken Masters 0/-------/-======|====---\-------\0 Johnny Cage
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Ryu Hayabusa [E] 0/-------/---====|
COMBATSYS: Tak blocks Ryu Hayabusa's Fierce Strike.
TAK
[ |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| ]
1|--------=======|===============
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > //////////////////////////////]
Ken Masters 0/-------/-======|====---\-------\0 Johnny Cage
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Ryu Hayabusa [E] 0/-------/---====|
COMBATSYS: Tak Toughs Out Ken Masters' Hiza Geri!
TAK
[ ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| ]
1|--------=======|===============
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > //////////////////////////////]
Ken Masters 0/-------/-======|====---\-------\0 Johnny Cage
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Ryu Hayabusa [E] 0/-------/---====|
Tak was refusing to yield.
The volcano was... strangely silent now. The volcanic rage had subsided. And now, recovering from his assault upon Ken, the stone god was turning towards the third one. "YOU." He bellows, casting his stony gaze upon Johnny Cage. "YOU HAD SUNGLASSES. THEY WERE AWFUL." He bellows, as he drives across a fist to catch Ryu's lunar staff in his stone palm. Cracking his hide again, he takes a step as Ken aims to strike the same weak leg again. But this time, it is not strong enough to stop the War God.
As he stampedes towards Johnny.
"YOU CANNOT DESTROY STONE!" Tak bellows, as he hurls out a thunderous right fist, followed by a staggering left smash. He was unleashing a combination of strikes now, attempting to run over Johnny. Bringing both of his fists together, he smashes down with both, hammering his fists down towards Johnny's skull. And should he manage to hit with all three?
He would finish it by grabbing one of the last remaining basalt platforms, and smashing it into Johnny.
COMBATSYS: Tak successfully hits Johnny Cage with Stone God's Finisher.
TAK
[ ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| ]
0|---------------|----------=====
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Ken Masters 0/-------/-======|=======\=------\1 Johnny Cage
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Ryu Hayabusa [E] 0/-------/---====|
If the staff does not work, then there are always other options.
To be a master ninja, one must be able to wield all manner of weaponry at the very limits of its abilities. Weapons are imperfect. They can break at inopportune times and it is deadly to ever be left defenseless. The ability to pick from the remains of your fallen foes is of utmost importance.
And yet there is one weapon in Hayabusa's arsenal that denies this trend. In one smooth motion, the Lunar Staff is slid back into place on the ninja's back, and the legendary Dragon Sword is pulled from its sheath. Despite being in its imperfect form, it is unparalleled in this world. An ancient weapon that refuses to be wielded except by those of the Dragon Lineage. A weapon that, if completed, can threaten the very balance of the world.
Those familiar with Hayabusa would immediately notice that his stance is off. The blade is normally held in an strange position, pointing out, held alongside his head. Now the tip draws along the ground as he pours all of his focus into it. All but invisible power flows around it, his inner chi summoning the wind itself to lay flat along the weapon. He moves into position, behind the distracted giant.
And then an instant the blade looks as though it as been swung, held at the opposing arc on the other side of Tak's body as the intervening space seems to have simply vanished, torn asunder by a weapon moving so quickly that it hardly moved, shredding all held between those two points with void.
Ken pops back up and is on the move, chasing after the Stone God because he's definitely not about to let him just kill his teammates. That wouldn't be kosher. "Slow down, Balboa!" Ken utters at the back of the Stone God, before stops and takes a dramatic flying leap in the direction of Tak.
Ken twists his body as he soars through the air and plants his feet together, flipping in the direction of Tak and aiming to put those heels to work all up on this Stone God's stone hide. He's going to break this fool if its the last thing he does.
Uh, considering the way Tak is running through them, it might actually be.
"Head's up, Stone Loc!"
@KenMasters: Break The Walls DOWN! #Y2Ken
Johnny later reflects this might have been a bad idea. But whatever.
He tries to block the giant stone fists trying to pummel him. Really, he does. But he is too small. The first strike connects, then the second, blood flyin from his small mortal body. Then he's smashed into a new crater from the double-whammy, and it ends with a giant stone platform crushing him. For any other man, this would be a death sentence as all their bones would be crushed into dust.
But not Johnny Cage.
He bursts from the stone as it shatters into several pieces, arms out. He's bruised and cut pretty much everywhere, his previous wounds still fresh. "FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS!" he screams.
That red chi aura returns as he performs a sick flip-kick to Tak with enough power to stagger the stone giant. THEN, he follows up with a red chi infused uppercut...to the groin again. "JOHNNY CAGE!" he cries.
COMBATSYS: Ryu Hayabusa successfully hit Tak with Blade of the Empty Air.
TAK
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0|---------------|---------======
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Ken Masters 1/--=====/=======|-------\-------\0 Johnny Cage
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Ryu Hayabusa [E] 0/-------/--=====|
COMBATSYS: Tak dodges Ken Masters' Ryusen Kyaku.
TAK
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0|---------------|---------======
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Ken Masters 1/--=====/=======|-------\-------\0 Johnny Cage
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Ryu Hayabusa [E] 0/-------/--=====|
COMBATSYS: Tak endures Johnny Cage's Double Feature.
TAK
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0|---------------|-------========
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Ken Masters 1/--=====/=======|-------\-------\0 Johnny Cage
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Ryu Hayabusa [E] 0/-------/--=====|
Johnny Cage says, "We're doing it guys"
It might have been a bad idea to get back up.
Tak batters Johnny like fried fish, beating him like a dutch wife. Unleashing the Freaky Tiki rage into the actor, the War God rumbles as he is smashed with the platform. He might have been able to celebrate... except he had two more to deal with. Ryu, the wily ninja, was already surging to the flanks. Trying to turn and block the incoming blow, he fails to respond in time, taking a blitzing fast blow through his form. He pauses a moment, stunned.
And Tak begins to bleed... grey blood.
War Gods was a stupid, stupid game.
"EVEN A STONE CAN BLEED?!" Tak rumbles, not even believing this shit. As Ken himself comes in, taking a leap, the blonde fighter yells out that he is coming. "OH!?" He bellows, turning red as he continues to bleed grey blood. And with that, he sidesteps, neatly evading Ken with now accelerating agility. He was in position to now corner Ryu... if Johnny Cage wasn't rushing back. No matter. As Johnny begins his groin assault, the Stone God just... ignores it. All attention was on Ryu now, the great stone titan lunging forward, attempting to scoop up the ninja and smash him across his knee. A powerful, ancient technique, noble in its execution. But unfortunately? The downside of ignoring Johnny's rampaging attack?
By the end of the attempt, Tak's iron ore falls out onto the ground again, his entire groin area completely gone.
COMBATSYS: Tak successfully hits Ryu Hayabusa with Stone God's Backbreaker.
TAK
[ |||||||||||||||||||| ]
0|---------------|---============
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Ken Masters 1/--=====/=======|-------\-------\0 Johnny Cage
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Ryu Hayabusa [E] 1/------=/=======|
There are downsides of putting so much focus into a single blow, especially when your enemy seems to show no signs of slowing its assault. Being placed directly in the eyeline of a deadly opponent after leaving yourself open ultimately leads to suffering.
With no time to throw himself out of the way, his sword is quickly sheathed again, freeing his hands to begin the intricate ninpo. Symbols drawn in the air, words in some tongue that calls to the very spirit of the world.
His body becomes like iron.
Rather than hope to free himself, he hopes to withstand, and as the giant god's hands take hold of him, there is no struggle. He is utterly at peace as he's brought down, and for a moment, as his back strikes the rock knee, it seems as if he will not break. He will not bend...
It's too much.
The sounds of bones shattering is clear in the air for a moment, punctuated by the rare sound of a pained scream from the otherwise silent warrior. And when the ninja is tossed aside his lower half seems unresponsive, limp beneath him.
He is broken...
But only for the moment. The master ninja begins to pull himself into a trance, focusing intently on his wounds, on his weariness. The body is a tool of the soul, and a well honed soul overcomes all.
COMBATSYS: Ryu Hayabusa gains composure.
TAK
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0|---------------|---============
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Ken Masters 1/-======/=======|-------\-------\0 Johnny Cage
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Ryu Hayabusa [E] 1/-------/=======|
Ken's feet hit the ground and he's back into the air and backflipping to make sure he stays out of the way of anything else that this crazy stone creature of stupidity is actually going to do. He's learned his lesson staying too close for too long. He's still got the bloody inside of his cheek to prove it. He's not about to let his face get wrecked before his date continues anyway.
"Uh. Guys?" Ken takes a second to look at Johnny and then over to OtheRyu. "This is a good workout and all but wouldn't it be really awesome if we went ahead and destroyed this jerk? Any time you're ready!" Yeah, stop playing around!
Ken moves in closer to Tak and spins, raising a foot up and aiming that heel off in the direction of the nearest weakened section of stone that's available to answer this question being axe'd.
@KenMasters: Next time, I'm bringing S'mores! #TheFloorIsLava
Johnny isn't done with this tiki yet. He can see the statue bleeding! Wait, what? Okay, whatever, he can roll with that. "Hey, I'm just making sure we look good before we finish him off, alright?" he calls to Ken. "You gotta have a certain STYLE to this, am I right? Hey, you know, this might make for a great movie! I've never done a tropical tiki sort of thing before!"
He can't exactly throw Tak but he can try. He jumps and grabs the golem by the shoulders, punching with one left hook, then the right, dropping down to backhand Tak in the stomach. When he lands back down to Earth, he runs between his legs and jumps up, charging his right fist with chi before he punches Tak in the back to knock him away. Or at least make him stumble.
"Hey ninja guy, you should be in my next movie!" he calls to Ryu.
COMBATSYS: Ken Masters successfully hit Tak with Medium Kick.
TAK
[ |||||||||||||||| ]
0|---------------|--=============
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Ken Masters 1/-======/=======|-------\-------\0 Johnny Cage
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Ryu Hayabusa [E] 1/-------/=======|
COMBATSYS: Tak endures Johnny Cage's Cliffhanger.
TAK
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0|---------------|===============
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Ken Masters 1/-======/=======|=------\-------\0 Johnny Cage
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Ryu Hayabusa [E] 1/-------/=======|
It looks like the Stone God was about to have...
A Tak-tical defeat.
The backbreaker is unleashed, stopping the ninja cold it seemed. While he did not destroy Ryu, he had at least kept him stunned.. or at least, to heal. Turning back towards Johnny I and Johnny II, Tak throws his arms in the air, still bleeding grey blood. "I AM INVINCIBLE!" He bellows.
No he wasn't.
Both Ken and Johnny come in together. As Ken unleashes the final kick, tak tries to pull his leg away... but instead, takes a shattering blow that BRINGS the knee to a halt. His leg shattering, more grey blood comes pouring out, as he suddenly leans over. And then, with Johnny coming in from behind, he struggles to endure the flanking blow, to go and -CRUSH- Johnny. But instead, he suddenly falls face down into the ash. A rumble runs through the island. And suddenly, a roar.
"IS THIS THE END OF TAK?!"
And Tak suddenly stands back up. At a funny angle, because of the shattered leg. But he just... stands there. Head rolling, barely unable to keep upright. And he just... stays there. Head rolling around. Arms limp. And a sensation may come over the three men that stood in there.
PROVE YOURSELF.
Johnny stands back as Tak starts swaying. "Alright Masters. It's time we sent this clown back to the quarry, you feeling me?" He's had enough of this crap. No more tikis, no more Zach Island, no more insane partners, no more stuck up Japanese girls, no more slutty inferior reality stars, no more ninja, furries, mermaids, pirates, meerkats or herpes accusations.
He stands beside Ken, fists glowing with green chi energy. "Just make it something he'll never forget. This is gonna be a showstopper!" he says aside to Ken. "OH, don't forget the ninja. Follow my lead!"
Johnny takes out a card and felt pen and scribbles his autograph on it, then licks the back of it and sticks it to his fist. He leaps on Ken's shoulders and launches himself off, the fist with the card glowing brightly with green chi (also helping to adhere it) as he heads for Tak's face. "YOU'RE WELCOME!" he screams as he just rams his fist into Tak's face. He'll leave the follow up to Ken and Ryu.
Falling, floating through clouds.
Is this... life?
... I always wished I was closer to others.
But... I couldn't help but push them away.
Clouds on a blue sky.
I wonder if I'll ever see them again...
The people who I love...
... Like...
I mean, the people I love are...
There has to be at least some.
Right...?
Hey, there's the island again. Maybe this is the end - wait - is that Johnny Cage--!?
In the background as Johnny thinks of stuck-up Japanese girls, Sada lands in a heap of hot volcanic ash. It is hot enough that she is merely singed, rolling to the side and being utterly caked in the gray (but very fertile) material. Sitting upright, she spits it out of her mouth, causing another small chaos of fizzing eruptibility - just like she did on the first day of Zack's Terrifying Sex Island.
Her crown lands in the ash heap, where she would have gotten a skull fracture if it had not been for that helpful rollup.
Picking it up, Sada puts it on her head, straightening up as Tak bellows his last defiance. "IT IS! You SUCK! Rip him off of Sada Oshima immediately! Bust open his pyroclastic balls!"
Sada Asai: Keen student of tactics, and flower of Japanese maidenhood.
"Don't tell me what to do! Unless you're gonna' give me your sister's phone number!"
Ken is already on the move, following after Johnny's move with some slick movements of his own. Because that's what you do when your leader leaps off your shoulders. You follow up from below.
Ken goes towards the ground, dropping low and sliding towards Tak with some tremendous style. His hair is blowing and everythig. "You /do/ have a sister, right?" That question is tossed towards Johnny, as Ken pops back up into a crouch and ignites his fist with some stylish flames of burnination.
"SHORYUKEN!"
Ken's signature movement is announced as he launches himself upwards and towards the chin(?!?!?!) of the Stone God of Snore. Maybe it is the luck of the draw but these flames on his fist don't go anywhere near Johnny's autographed picture. Go figure.
@KenMasters: How 'bout a little fire, Stonecrow? #Flowchart
Regardless of what he may think of Johnny Cage, a ninja takes advantage of an opportunity when it presents itself. The stone god must be stopped, and this is the time to do it.
Having managed to mend his wounds, the Singular Super Ninja pushes back up to his feet as he draws the Dragon Sword with his other hand, readying himself for the opening he needs. Just one moment where the ancient deity is so overwhelmed that there is no hope for response.
And there it is.
Tak is sent flying into the air by Ken Master's world famous shoryuken, and Hayabusa is off like a bolt of lightning, leaping up in the air to meet the War God. His sword is once more drawn low and back, surging with stored power as it suddenly sweeps up and imparts an incredible amount of force into Tak, sending him rocketing dozens of feet into the air, up over the roiling cauldron of lava, in a maneuver that shows an absolute disregard to the laws of physics.
The very moment that the rock giant reaches the climax of his upward arc, Ryu suddenly appears beside him. The Dragon Sword is thrust clear through the stone body with no resistance as the Super Ninja wraps his arms tight around the giant, locking him in place as surge of chi sends both of them whirling as they begin to fall faster than should be possible. A meteoric drop toward molten destruction.
Mere moments before it seems as though the ninja has simply accepted his own fate to go out with the fiendish threat, he releases his hold, cleaving his blade all the way through the falling War God, sundering him in twain as he kicks off the falling body and flips away from certain doom toward the safety of solid ground, leaving Tak to his ultimate end.
COMBATSYS: Johnny Cage, Ken Masters and Ryu Hayabusa successfully hit Tak with Ultra Bro Force Hyper Special.
TAK
[ ]
1|------=========|===============
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Ken Masters 1/=======/=======|-------\-------\0 Johnny Cage
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Ryu Hayabusa [E] 0/-------/-------|
And the final blow is unleashed.
Tak is stunned for a moment, as Johnny Cage smashes the autographed picture right into his face. It is a perfect openning for Ken to dip in, and unleash a staggering rising uppercut, to knock the stone god upwards. It takes Ryu to give it more oomph, as the tiki is sent hurtling high into the air. But as Tak passes right over the mouth of the volcano... he is snatched out. "OH NO." He cries out, as finally, Ryu finishes the assault by slicing the stone god in half... and sending him deep within the heart of the volcano.
JOHNNY CAGE &
KEN MASTERS &
RYU HAYABUSA WINS
FATALITY
Johnny lands, folding his arms as he stares at Tak diving into the volcano. Finally, it was over. "Now THAT is how you end a tournament!" he exclaims, pumping his fist. He puts his hands on his hips; sadly he has no replacement sunglasses, but he will get some back later, when he finally returns home. "Thanks for the help, Masters. Hey, I heard you were going around on some Special...maybe I'll hit you up for a fight, huh?" he says. "As for my sister...sorry, don't have one." He looks towards Ryu. "Hey, ninja man, nice work!"
SOMEONE ELSE'S VIEWPOINT
A red screen, peppered with many small windows carrying all sorts of bizarre data, shows mostly rubble and rocks. Only through a thin crack does any light filter through to the screen, through which can be seen... Tak. Over the past while, Tak's battles have been recorded, the data collated and analyzed and filed away.
Finally, as Ryu Hayabusa appears to attempt to make peace with Tak, the calculations complete; a final, massive window appears in the middle of the screen, showing a wireframe Tak doing his various moves to a wireframe crash test dummy. Below that sits the word 'VERDICT'.
Below that flashes the words 'BITCH MADE.'
THE CAMERA AGAIN, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT
As Tak finally falls, the same pile of rocks that recently discharged the once-bitten, twice-sexy Johnny Cage rattles again, and out comes... a robot wearing a Gracie Jiu-Jitsu hoodie. Not long ago, this same robot was punched into a mountain. Bizarrely, it is unndamaged. Even more bizarrely, so is the hoodie.
It is also clapping slowly. "BRAVO, BRAVO," the mysterious robot calls, its voice modulated and electronic. "YOU UNDERSTAND, OF COURSE, THAT TAK WAS NOT TRULY A GOD. JUST A... SHADOW OUT OF TIME. A PUPPET OF DESTINY... NOT UNLIKE YOURSELVES."
It strolls right up to the edge of the lava that Tak has sunk into, and, indeed, wades into it; it stops once it's ankle-deep in lava, pulls up the sleeve of its hoodie, and plunges its right arm into the lava.
"BUT STILL," it calls, "YOU HAVE DONE A GREATER SERVICE FOR THESE PEOPLE THAN YOU CAN KNOW."
"I know, I know. You couldn't have done it without me. It's fine. Happens all the time."
Ken is waving a dismissive hand at both Johnny and OtheRyu because he's clearly attempting to make sure that he's getting some serious ego points after doing this. It is somewhere in the middle of this waving does Ken notice something wrong with his hand.
"Aw, dude. I totally broke a nail. I just /got/ this manicure..."
With that, Ken is doing that thing where you kind of walk off into the fading sunset, even if there's no sun at the moment. He still has a date to try and salvage.
The battle is over.
The island has been saved.
Ryu Hayabusa's mission is complete.
Or at least it was complete moments ago. The arrival of the strange robotic entity that is doing a terrible job of appearing to be anything but a robot begins to place a new problem. There's absolutely no reason (even for a mediocre robot) to go fishing around in lava. This presents the ninja with a new problem... which he quickly obtains a solution for.
Master Ninja of the Hayabusa clan once more begins to chant as he summons forth elemental power from the Earth itself. Strange symbols fill the air around him as he brings forth an unusual touch. The world around him begins to grow cold, then freezing before he thrusts his hand forward and an orb of pure chi flies to the center of the lava pool. A haze falls into the air as obsidian begins to form from the lava, spreading slowly outward from the center as it draws toward the edges.
"I don't know what your intentions are with that fiend's remains, but if you don't intend to become a permanent feature of this mountain, I advise you to leave."
COMBATSYS: Johnny Cage has left the fight here.
TAK
[ ]
1|------=========|===============
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > ///////////////// ]
Ken Masters 1/=======/=======|-------\-------\0 [E] Ryu Hayabusa
COMBATSYS: Ken Masters has left the fight here.
TAK
[ ]
1|------=========|===============
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Ryu Hayabusa [E] 0/-------/-------|
Oh, yeah, this is definitely a robot... at least to the blown-up Johnny, the rapidly departing Ken, and Ryu, AKA Dr. McNinja. To the camrra crews, who have been continually pushed further and further back from the ongoings, it looks like a weirdo in a hoodie and... shiny pants? Cyborg legs? Who knows.
"HOW PETULANT," scoffs the robot, as the hardening obsidian races towards him. "NOT TO MENTION ARROGANT. BUT THAT HAS ALWAYS DESCRIBED THE HAYABUSAS, HAS IT NOT?"
Despite this, he remains firmly in the lava even as it hardens around him... at least for a few seconds. Then his weird metal limbs flex, and the obsidian binding him to the mountain shatters; from beneath the now-cool surface of the lava, the machine lifts the head of Tak, apparently torn from its body.
"JUST A SOUVENIR," he assures Ryu, as he wrenches his feet free from the obsidian and steps up onto it. "I WOULD LOVE TO STAY, BUT I AM ON A TIGHT TIMETABLE. DO FORGIVE ME."
As if on cue, a brilliant spotlight shines down on the robot from te sky, as from behind the ridge of the caldera returns a uniformly matte black helicopter, having 'gotten the fuck out' when Robo-Tran and Tak began to fight, in the before times, due to 'limited system resources', because MotM runs on a 'Nintendo 64'.
It swoops in and smoothly swings a descending cable tow into the robot's hands; he reaches out to grab it, and immediately the helicopter begins to ascend.
"FAREWELL, RYU HAYABUSA," calls the robot. "WE WILL NOT MEET AGAIN."
COMBATSYS: Tak can no longer fight.
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Ryu Hayabusa [E] 0/-------/-------|
Log created on 20:27:09 02/27/2015 by Tak, and last modified on 13:57:46 03/02/2015.