Description: A different kind of horrible.
=OBLIGATORY FLASHBACK BECAUSE OF REASONS=
"Miss Langray, where is Jack Hammond? Shouldn't he be in this meeting?"
Tia 'Tia from Breakers' Langray STILL looks like shit, because missing half your teeth will do that to you, but she's relaxing in her hotel room all the same, a martini glass propped classily on a side table and her long, bare, powerful legs kicked up beside it. She's wearing nothing except a towel, and looks smug as all get-out as she focuses her gaze lazily on the webcam peeking out above the screen of her laptop.
"Sorry, babe, he's been... retired. Can we get to the point? I've got a match to prep for."
She checks her nails, because that's what monstrous bitches do.
"We can *indeed*, Miss Langray. Your last showing was an abomination - people won't buy what you're selling, they'll be changing the channel in droves! Merchandising sales will crash, and there's frankly nothing we can do to stop it. This is not a product we're willing to push on the network. You are out of li--"
"YOU are out of line, you worthless hack!!"
Langray tips at the waist, arching toward the screen in a manner that just gives the man an eyeful of cleavage. It's distracting. The vein in his temple starts to bulge.
"We can spin this into something fucking spectacular. One word: Shelly."
"Who's--"
"Shelly Tarlar. Look it up, 'bossman'. Do your damn job. We've used her before, and we'll use her again - she's my doppelganger, and she can take this fall for me. Every time I do something the people don't accept, every time they doubt how PERFECT I really am... it's Shelly. Look her up. You'll find the file under 'f' for 'fuck you'."
Shifting one leg from the table, she brings her heel down on the back of the screen, slamming the screen shut as the network exec starts to yell at her. His voice dies instantly, and his face is gone. Tia kicks back with a smile, looking blissfully up at the whirling ceiling fan. Oh yes. The people will love her again.
=HERE, NOW, IN YOUR STUPID FACES=
The future Empress of Muay Thai is simpering for the cameras, butter not melting in her mouth as she laughs and jokes and flirts outrageously with shirtless cashiers. From table to table she roams through the casino, tossing dice and playing cards and generally winning bundles of cash becase gambling is totally her thing. She's heavily made-up and appears to have received emergency surgery on her mouth, a perfect vision resplendent in a midnight silk wrap that coils about her breasts, then swoops down her back to form a second coil around her waistline. Her long hair is pinned up and restrained with black lacquer chopsticks, matching gloss daubed upon her lips.
Complete with teetering high heels, it's the least practical outfit ever, and gives her a devilish countenance quite at odds with the faux-innocent party girl persona prancing prettily for the cameras. The brash, boisterous Tia doesn't seem to be 'in'...
Until someone jostles her in the middle of downing her fifteenth martini.
Who would dare...?
The lights flicker off momentarily, and when they pop back on, Tia Langray (?) is snarling, her gaze absolute damning darkness on this interloper.
"SERGEANT DELANEY!"
Again the lights go off, come back on, and the Thai woman is stood there smiling.
"Get this delightful young lady a drink, won't you?" <3
Er, isn't this supposed to be a fight? What's going on? Why? How? Who? Where is Tia Langray? Why is Caoimhe Delaney serving drinks?
A:
Caoimhe Delaney is actually a licensed bartender. This is actually how she paid most of her way through her Master's degree in Chemistry prior to joining the Armed Forces. In fact, she's pretty good at it, if a little more dry than the more charming bartenders one might hope to meet.
This has little to nothing to do with why she's actually currently kneeling behind the casino's main bar in a camouflage-patterned bikini. She's been... celebrating her reunion with her partner in traditional Irish fashion.
When she hears Tia's voice, the auburn-haired Special Forces engineer pops up to her feet, holding a bottle and a rag. "Who is it you're on about, Langray? I've got their drink..." She hiccups as she holds up the bottle. "Right here!"
The sound of thunder booms overhead as the lights flicker off again. From somewhere off to one side, there's a crash of glass and a scream.
"Oh no! One of the dancers - oh God!"
Apparently there was an accident while the lights were off.
Sada Asai is getting tired of this stupid island.
First she has to get felt up by weirdos. Then she ends up narrowly getting over a volleyball player. And now she's here, in this casino again, where there's a storm outside and not even the advantage of Lightning Spangles to pour liquor into.
The thought does make her smile.
Sada has had zero drinks and is thus perhaps in pretty good shape as she wanders towards the area where there are dancing poles (frown) and their opponents (double frown). She is in a one piece that, while definitely flattering, is more about a sweep of light blue into blue so dark it verges on black, than it is about showing off her jiggly bits.
She's even wearing normal sandals. If neatly made, new-looking black ones.
The plight of a dancer falling out of a window is ignored, beyond how it makes her ears pop. "So... you're the ones we're up against?" she remarks, rather airily, as she approaches the bar. "Don't take us lightly."
Despite her mild inclination to party excessively while on Zack Island, Tiffany has been good; she's not particularly getting tired of the island, though -- just the tendency of people /on/ the island to wreck parties by making a scene. You can have a good party with no drama! /Tiffany insists/.
What she is a little less pleased with is the apparently slipshod power wiring; she was messing around with one of the photo print booths to get a nice, solid picture of herself in her new swimsuit -- a tasteful pastel blue number, slightly darker than the lightest shade on Sada's own suit -- and now, well. /That's/ not happening.
When she hears the cries about a dancer, Tiffany is immediately on the case, though -- she moves in the dark toward the window with an "OH NO!"... but totally fails to actually get through, and ends up turned around toward Sada and the bar.
"Ahahaha!"
That's probably supposed to sound enchanting or something, but honestly Tia(?)'s nice girl act is pretty transparent in the face of all the horrific things she's been doing lately, and only the equally-vapid patrons seem to buy it, laughing along with her like they're in some kind of sitcom because they probably want to be in Breakers Revenge. The network-sponsored cameras all zoom in on Langray's cleavage, and then on Caoimhe's. And then they project a double vision of both. It's all very classy for those at home.
All part of the plan. Sucker the sheep in. And then...
...then there's the matter of their opponents. With Caoimhe's possible accidental murder of a dancer (she's fine, she's... probably fine) comes little fanfare for the approach of the two youngsters set to be blown up and punched in the face by them. Sadly, the audience is forced to wait a few more moments before either eventuality.
"THERE you are," barks Langray prettily, the facade already crumbling as she gracefully ekes out a feral grin and all but lunges at Sada, stopping just short of actually striking her but not stopping short of striking -distance-. Sucking in her toned stomach to give the acidic schoolgirl an eyeful of silk-clad cleavage, she tips her half-spilled martini glass forward, the olive eyeballing Asai's swimsuit.
"You must be the new dancers I ordered. Couldn't you have dressed a bit better? And that make-up! Maybe we should make some adjustments. SERGEANT DELANEY!!"
Tia's hazel eyes whiplash to the pro bartender and pro-er blow-er upper. Or they would, if the lights didn't go out again. So her unseeing eyes sort of roll in the general direction of the bar. When they come back on, she's looking at the ceiling.
"You blow up the stupid one, I'm gonna punch the ugly one RIGHT IN THE MOUTH."
So she tries to. Her fist goes right past Sada's face. Still holding a martini glass.
COMBATSYS: Tia has started a fight here on the left meter side.
COMBATSYS: Tiffany has joined the fight here on the right meter side.
COMBATSYS: Sada has joined the fight here on the right meter side.
COMBATSYS: Caoimhe has joined the fight here on the left meter side.
"Oh Jesus... she'll... she'll never dance again!"
"What do we do? We can't just have an empty pole!"
"Who will take her place?"
All of the above goes basically unheard by Caoimhe Delaney over the sound of rushing wind now starting to fill the casino. Games of cards are rapidly being ruined, driving those who invested their hard-earned Zack Dollars at the tables into a froth, though not drawing not nearly as much ire as the empty pole center stage. As the staff tries to contain the brewing riot, Caoimhe frowns from behind her fortified position.
"Langray! I think there may be a problem! The surprise packages may be duds after these power outages! I -"
And then suddenly, as is wont to happen whereever Sergeant Caoimhe Delaney may roam, a boom shake shake shakes the room.
Four blackjack tables - mercifully unoccupied - explode in series, chips of wood and plastic flying in every direction. The flaming remains fill the room with a constant orange glow as the lighting begins to strobe and fail erratically.
"Nevermind! Which one is the dumb one? Dumb one, please report for exploding!"
Caoimhe hefts a pineapple behind the bar as she delivers her missive. It's possible that she's been celebrating - or drowning her sorrows, one or the other - a little too hard.
Tiffany goes to 'help people' and 'support others' and generally be pro social as Sada looks at Tia, even as she gets nearer. The olive stares at her chest, but hey, at least it's not a potato.
Those guys have eyes all over.
The blackjack tables explode, but Sada has learned to focus up when you are in the shit, and the situation right now is definitely 'the shit'. As chips fly where they may and Caoimhe goes for a pineapple, Tia throws a punch at Sada - who leans slightly to the side and says, sweetly, "The ugly one?"
Sada raises up a hand to grasp at Tia's wrist. "I guess we should get started."
With that she aims to apply leverage backwards, twisting Tia's liquor-holdin' hand back towards her own noggin, Sada's other arm lacing into the relevant hole. And if fortune is kind, she will have something to say --
COMBATSYS: Tia blocks Sada's Figure Four Armlock.
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Caoimhe 0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0 Sada
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Tia 0/-------/------=|-------\-------\0 Tiffany
Well, while she doesn't quite manage to pull it off, Sada puts her best effort into it, and says her bon mot du jour:
"Stop punching yourself!"
As the power starts to /flicker/ and the lighting strobes, Tiffany realizes that she's sort of stumbled her way into her scheduled fight; she's not really listening to Ms. Langray -- at least, not until she gets called 'the stupid one,' at which point she makes a rather excessively pouty face.
Her fists clench tightly, amid the burning and the erratic lighting; she locks eyes with Caoimhe behind the bar, and decides to go right for the proverbial jugular. Though she lacks boxing gloves for this particular bout, going bare-knuckle is juuuust fine with her.
Her first attack is a hop up onto the bar itself, then another hop up -- before she finally sends herself spiking straight down toward Caoimhe, declaring, "You certainly made this one EXCITING! And -- don't call me stupid!"
COMBATSYS: Tiffany successfully hits Caoimhe with Exciting Kick.
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Caoimhe 0/-------/-----==|-------\-------\0 Sada
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Tia 0/-------/------=|>------\-------\0 Tiffany
It would be a serious moment of concern, were the darlings of Zack Island - Going Commando, obviously, don't look like you don't know, DEAR AUDIENCE - unable to lay cataclysmic waste to their environs. Caoimhe's statement sees a momentary downturn in Tia's mouth, but as it's followed almost immediately by explosions...
"Oh, sorry, bitch," chimes the Muay Thai superstar - just as 'sweetly' - to her young opponent. Beaming like a Cheshire cat (because explosions), Tia drops her glass as her arm is hauled inward, the elbow crooking rather uncomfortably but only up to the point that trained muscles have stiffened the entire package to make the process harder, if a bit more painful in the interim. She reaches over with the free hand, intercepting the pivotal stage of Sada's hold with a dismissive grab-and-twist that buys her a precious second to slide her high-heeled feet into a decent grounding for combat.
Then her own hand is slapping her head. It doesn't hurt, but-- grr. Really? REALLY?
Never has she met a foe so petty who wasn't herself! Or Shelly 'Fuck Off Shelly' Tarlar!
"Don't mind if I DO," yells Tia Langray, with the internal invocation of that name suddenly remembering who the fuck she is. Is the smear campaign truly over, or was it Tia all along in this seedy island paradiso casino? Either way, the catfighting, martini-drinking, wispy-silk-clad shunner-of-underwear wrenches her arm out and down, just muscling Sada the hell away with a twist of her upper body that becomes a singular rotation of her entire form. Athletic muscles contract and expand, carrying Tia around until her lead arm snaps out, bearing an hellacious backfist toward Asai's cheek.
"But please, by all means, don't stop ME punching YOU! You'll look much prettier with your face all bruised up so no-one can see!"
Grinning wildly, she throws a bloodshot-hazel sideglance to her partner.
"I said blow her up, not get kicked in the face! Let's make them BOTH the ugly one, soldier!!"
COMBATSYS: Sada dodges Tia's Strong Punch.
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Caoimhe 0/-------/-----==|-------\-------\0 Sada
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Tia 0/-------/------=|>------\-------\0 Tiffany
With her opponent finally coming into view, Caoimhe slings a camo-patterned sack from behind the bar over her shoulder and snatches up a carved piece of wood from beside the sink. She's just got her gear ready when the blonde cheerleader lands on top of the bar. Delaney tries to take evasive action with a side roll, but gets nailed in the shoulder, corkscrewing in the air before hitting the ground. (It probably looked like she got kicked in the face.)
There's a momentary scowl on Caoimhe's face at Tia's words. The woman may not be the most emotive, given her sense of discipline, but this hasn't been the best week for her, and she's a few drinks in right now. But still, there's something more important to focus on right now.
"Understood, Langray!" she yells as she rolls to her feet, levelling her eyes on Tiffany. "You have my sympathy," she says stonily before thrusting the sticky pineapple ticking in her hand - now devoid of the leafy cap - toward the cheerleader's swimsuit. She then hops in the air, aiming both feet at Tiffany's chest with the intent of kicking off into a backflip to the other side of the bar.
A few moments later, the pineapple explodes, shattering violently into chunks of vicious citrus as the homemade bomb inside it goes off.
COMBATSYS: Tiffany dodges Caoimhe's Parting Gift.
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Caoimhe 0/-------/-----==|-------\-------\0 Sada
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Tia 0/-------/------=|>------\-------\0 Tiffany
Tia busts loose from Sada's less than stellar hold tightness, and Sada's arms spread out. Then Tia swings a hand towards her with brutal, bone-fracturing force, a cheek-beating blow that would send Sada spinning!
But there's one thing Tia didn't count on.
Well, two things.
1. Sada is able to duck down pretty easily on account of not being drunk off her ass.
2. Sada Asai, as a veteran of Seijyun High, is not unfamiliar with the ancient art of womanly combat - with the beating of cheeks.
Sada straightens up, wiping off her forehead. "Phew -- You've called me ugly and a bitch... I'm really feeling insulted right now, and I'm breaking out into an anxious sweat because of it. I don't know what I'm going to do... next you're going to talk about my breasts, perhaps? Or suggest I haven't had a boyfriend?"
Sada turns her head to call to Tiffany, "I might CRY over it!" And cry on YOU, she thinks, and that moment of viciousness reminds her, oh right, she has a fight to make here. Even as she backs a pace away from Tia, perhaps in recognition that she's going to bust out some Muay Thai onto her face if she's not careful, Sada flicks her hand forwards.
And for Sada, this causes a shrieking burst of light and explosions - highlighted all the more when the lights flicker mid-motion, and the ghostly shadowlight from her cursed sweat is, for a heart-stopping instant, all the light there is!
COMBATSYS: Tia dodges Sada's Glow Bomber.
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Caoimhe 0/-------/-----==|-------\-------\0 Sada
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Tia 0/-------/------=|>------\-------\0 Tiffany
Fortunately for Tiffany, the intant she sees Caoimhe trying to give her an object after those earlier explosions, she knows exactly what she's dealing with. Diving forward and /under/ the hand-off, Tiffany stays behind the bar; it's a smart move, and one that ultimately buys her enough space that Caoimhe can't quite pursue her with the backflip, either.
The situation being what it is, Tiffany can't /quite/ pursue in the way she'd like to; she also doesn't want to get predictable and just start leaping in with kicks again. Accordingly, she instead hops up to her feet, and then toward the soldier.
What follows is some... unorthodox offense. She starts out trying to grab for Caoimhe's head and pull it in, perhaps for some sort of slam... but instead grinds her face against her chest for a few moments, then thrusts her whole body up and out to try to knock Ms. Delaney up and away. Hopefully she doesn't meet the same fate as the dancer!
COMBATSYS: Caoimhe parries Tiffany's Chest Thrusting!
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Caoimhe 0/-------/----===|-------\-------\0 Sada
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Tia 0/-------/------=|>------\-------\0 Tiffany
Being drunk off one's ass is an ancient and noble tradition among martial artists! Why...
=THAILAND, 1942 OR SOME SHIT=
"Langray! Drink the snake venom! Drink it ALL!"
Tia, who isn't even an embryo at this point and is therefore -tiny and adorable- is heaving wrackings sobs as she swallows down a six-litre jug of bitter, intoxicating liquid. Everything hurts.
"Move like snake! Dodge like snake! Vomit! Like snake!"
=ZACK ISLAND, 2015, IN THE IMMEDIATE FUTURE=
Tia totally dodges Sada's attack because it is WEAK and UGLY.
=ZACK ISLAND, 2015, RIGHT NOW=
The outflick of Sada's hand is regarded with a scowl as Tia retracts her whiffed punch with a sideglance that seems to say 'how dare you fist, HOW DARE YOU', cracking her knuckles in further frustration before she notices that the world is suddenly a mess of light and heat and there's no reason for it whatsoever. In Langray's world - Thailand - chi attacks are made with vigorous motions that are basically just Muay Thai attacks, and there's only one fighting style in the first place. Muay Thai.
Also the style of blowing things up, which she's recently come to recognize because Caoimhe Delaney is actually a pretty good fighter and woah that's just the booze talking, she wouldn't EVER admit that. Look, Delaney missed again! Pathetic!
Blushing in fury at betraying her own principles, and possibly becaue she's super drunk, Tia teeters on her heels and falls backwards, watching Sada's beacon of sweaty chi-mank go washing through the air to knock another dancer unconscious. Two down! What are they going to do for the big finale dance number now?
=ZACK ISLAND, 2015, TWO SECONDS LATER=
Tia Langray is back on her feet and now only wearing a single high heel, the other one hanging limply off the edge of her foot having broken and been ripped half-off by her incredibly acrobatic and skilful dodge. It's this one she rises upon, shrieking across the casino floor toward Sada Asai with her other leg chambered, knee held along her rockin' abdomen before it thrusts forth the first of many, many kicks.
It's her own, original technique: the Hyakuret--- FUCK OFF CHUN-LI YOU ARE LAME
The Mirage Spear Kick!
"Why the fuck would I talk about your BREASTS?" Yells Langray, attempting to drive her heel home into Sada's womb. From there, her foot becomes a mighty blur, kick after kick aimed the full length and girth (lol fat joke) of Sada's body, a machinegun volley of kicks apparating in a mere instant. "You're the ugly one. Everybody knows the stupid one is the one with boobs. Don't they teach media studies in your school?!"
COMBATSYS: Tia successfully hits Sada with Mirage Spear Kick.
Glancing Blow
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Caoimhe 0/-------/----===|==-----\-------\0 Sada
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Tia 0/-------/-----==|>------\-------\0 Tiffany
Fortunately, bartending isn't the only life experience that Caoimhe picked up back in her college years. She also learned how to deal with this situation - that of having another woman at a party attempt to grab her and force her head against her cleavage against her will. She does the same thing she did then now - her body goes slack and she slips out of Tiffany's grasp, dropping straight to the ground.
The difference being that this time it's on purpose.
As she hits the ground, she dives past the cheerleader's legs, her hand slipping into the bag over her shoulder. The thing she pulls out looks like an alarm clock. The digital face reads 0:03 in red letters that glow visibly in the dark created as the lights go down again.
Actually, it is an alarm clock. It just happens to be rigged with explosive powder. Leaving it behind, Caoimhe scrambles to her feet and leaps away toward the dancers' stage. "Look! We have a volunteer!" one of the staff members shouts as the bikini clad soldier lands on her knees and elbows and covers her head with her hands just before the clock explodes, probably blowing a hole straight up through the ceiling.
COMBATSYS: Caoimhe successfully hits Tiffany with Hello Time Bomb EX.
Glancing Blow
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Caoimhe 0/-------/--=====|==-----\-------\0 Sada
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Tia 0/-------/-----==|>>>>---\-------\0 Tiffany
"Because," Sada says, even as Langray leaps up and dancers fall, as she HATEFULLY dodged Sada's attack -- why did she do that?! Sada curses fate as she so often does--
"You are a DISGUSTING WOMAN!"
Of course, then Tia goes in for a gut shot, or perhaps an even lower blow. Sada is already trying to get the hell away from it when it lands inwards. She isn't fast enough to move completely out of the way - the first kick does hit her, even if her momentum puts her on the other side of that blurring barrage of lethal kicks before they can turn her guts to a bloody wreck!
Sada is of course opposed to this outcome of things.
However, for a fleeting instant she can see Tia is still doing her thing, and before she can even really think of what she's doing, Sada is spearing herself down, trying to topple Tia over at the same time she snaps her legs up -
To try to cross her shins over Tia's neck and start with the pressing!
This would be merely wrestling, if it were not for the fact that Sada, due to both running around in an exploding casino and that, yes, words can hurt, is sweaty and getting slightly gross. And of course, that sweat leaves HORRIBLE ACIDIC TRAILS.
COMBATSYS: Tia interrupts Sadaplata from Sada with Soul Spike.
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Caoimhe 0/-------/--=====|======-\-------\0 Sada
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Tia 0/-------/---====|>>>>---\-------\0 Tiffany
Tiffany leaps back from the alarm clock, once again pretty aware of what she's dealing with when she fights Caoimhe; unfortunately, this time she's a little too late, and while the blast doesn't hit her, the resultant shockwave does, sending her up into the ceiling... which hurts /more/ than enough.
As she lands squarely on her back, Tiffany takes a second to regret her decisions; she lies on the floor for a good few seconds, just taking in the situation. The smell of alcohol is starting to get pretty acute here -- and she's not much a fan.
Groaning as she pulls herself back up to her feet, she clenches her fists again, rushing in toward the pole amid the growing light in the room. Hopefully, she thinks, she can get away with a fast one here.
A fast one, in this instance, being a heavy overhand leaping punch aimed squarely for the soldier's head.
Who's disgusting? It's Sada who dives in toward the barely silk-clad Muay Thai warrior's midriff while she has one leg thrown emphatically in the air. Her shin clips Asai as she drives in, then draws back to try to spike her down with the heel - in the process giving an 'upskirt' that demonstrates precisely why Langray, in dark silk and stilettoes - can justify being part of a team called 'Going Commando'.
And then Sada's flipping over as if to scissor the bombastic, benevolent beauty. This isn't Tia's thing at all! Except for money! And only when she needed it, before she was an INTERNATIONAL SUPERSTAR, forced to star in such vaunted cinematic masterpieces as 'Spunky Spittoon Sluts 7'. Fortunately she's had this experience already, and so being pressed down upon by Sada and her odious bodily fluids just feels like her old dayjob, before professional fighting taught her that being one of the greatest martial artists -on the planet- is a much more lucrative pursuit. To whit; she's here to -win-.
They're still going down on--
Okay, with, going down -with- one another when Langray falls back and pushes off from the grappletastic schoolgirl with her lead leg. The one formerly striking. Arms dropping to provide a mixture of balance and a surface for landing that isn't her bare ass, Tia lifts the opposing leg and then rapidly drops it in an aerial axe kick, smashing her broken high-heel into Asai's questionably-legal crotch area.
"At least I take the occasional shower!" She spits with disgust, landing with a 'houf' and rolling back up to standing before wiping herself down, acid burning her hands as she tries to get herself free of it as abruptly as possible. Her gaze flicks to Caoimhe briefly, and she scowls more deeply. Where's her bartender when she needs her?
She's not the only one looking at Delaney. By far.
"YEEEEAH! DANCE! DAAAAAANCE!" Screams the audience in the casino and at home.
COMBATSYS: Caoimhe fails to interrupt Strong Punch from Tiffany with Strong Kick.
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Caoimhe 0/-------/=======|======-\-------\0 Sada
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Tia 0/-------/---====|>>>>>--\-------\0 Tiffany
After struggling briefly in an inconclusive manner, another fat kick hits Sada in the pelvis. This sends her rolling to the side, sucking in breath. But where she might be deterred by the assorted bruises she's accumulating, she is instead inspired by the most powerful force of all*:
Spite!
Rolling on the ground as Tia looks up to focus her attention on Caoimhe, Sada does not have a huge amount to work with. She does not bounce back up immediately, lest she get kicked again - but, she thinks, down here, Muay Thai's less useful! She has to have room to actually kick me with any real force!
Sada may not understand how Muay Thai works.
Either way though she's reaching over to grasp at one of Tia's ankles and throw herself, shoulder-first, into the back of the upright woman's knees. And whither then? We cannot say.
* - may not actually be most powerful force
COMBATSYS: Tia fails to interrupt Medium Throw from Sada with Lightning Upper EX.
- Power fail! -
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Caoimhe 0/-------/=======|=======\-------\0 Sada
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Tia 0/-------/-======|>>>>>--\-------\0 Tiffany
Shivering as she feels the aftershock of the explosion hit her on the stage, Caoimhe lowers her hands to the floor and glances over her shoulder. The audience cheers, and she's not sure why - nor does she have the time to really question it, as she sees her partner engaging in a catfight with Sada and Tiffany already getting back up and coming after her.
Instinctively, she reaches out for the pole and latches onto it, using it to pull herself up. The familiar feel harkens back to another one of the ways she used to spend her time during her Boston years...
As Tiffany launches toward her, the Special Forces soldier swings around on the pole, one long and athletic leg whipping out and extending toward the cheerleader - or just under her, it turns out, as she slides down the pole right before getting clocked in the head by Tiffany's fist and going flying onto the next dance stage, colliding with another pole.
Apparently her time as a volunteer firefighter is not paying off here.
On the one hand, Tiffany has successfully gotten the drop on Caoimhe here; on the other, she's placed herself adjacent to one of the poles, and people seem... expectant. The Lords heiress, at least, is not one to let down expectations; she wraps a hand around it, doing a quick twirl around the pole with a wave to the audience.
She has no /actual/ training in poledancing... but at least she looks good in a swimsuit, right?
Right.
That spin around, however, does something else for her: it lets her build a little momentum. She carries that momentum off onto the next dance stage as well, cartwheeling toward it and hoping to pound her limbs squarely into Ms. Delaney's face.
Muay Thai works from any angle! All you need is to yell the name of a random predator and GO FOR BROKE. To whit:
"Mother! Fucking! OCELOT!!"
Tia is surging toward Sada as Sada throws herself forward, hunkering down and ready to prove Sagat is only the second coolest exponent of uppercuts in the land (Ansatsuken isn't Muay Thai, it's not part of THE LAND)... but her arm is going wildly over the spiteful schoolgirl's head, and she just succeeds in giving herself to the tackle.
And going down hard. Not for the first time.
Somewhat aided and abetted is Asai by the fact that Tia's skull comes down right on a stray electrical cable, and there's an explosion of sparks that runs along the floor and up the stage. A shrill scream flies out as the room is again plunged into darkness, and something flaming plunges through the shadows. ...yet another exotic dancer bites the dust, her feathered leotard now aflame with electrical fire.
Where's a fireman when you need one?
COMBATSYS: Tiffany successfully hits Caoimhe with Groovy Wheel.
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > //////////////////// ]
Caoimhe 1/----===/=======|=======\-------\0 Sada
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > ///////////////////////// ]
Tia 0/-------/-======|>>>>>>>\-------\0 Tiffany
"Look! Now there are two of them! The show is saved!"
Caoimhe narrows her eyes as the Lords heiress comes spinning toward her, to much applause from the audience. The redhead takes a hop to one side, trying to get out of the way of the wheeling limbs, but she's just a little too slow and ends up getting bowled over. As she does, the contents of her bag - amongst them several pineapples, a few coconuts, some bottles of rum, a flare gun, and a copy of Zack Weekly, a local periodical dedicated to all things Zack - spill all over the stage.
Flushing red, Caoimhe starts to reach for the magazine, but after a moment thinks better of the decision and grabs one of the pineapples instead. Tearing the frond from the top of fruit, along with the metal pin it was holding in place, she bounces it at the cheerleader from close range before sliding back around the pole to try and get some measure of cover behind a speaker.
COMBATSYS: Tiffany dodges Caoimhe's When In Doubt.
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > //////////////////// ]
Caoimhe 1/----===/=======|=======\-------\0 Sada
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > ///////////////////////// ]
Tia 0/-------/-======|>>>>>>>\-------\1 Tiffany
"What??"
Sada has no idea where ocelots come into this, despite their precious little ears and soft, soft fur. However, having knocked Tia down, Sada straightens up just as Tia manages to find a live cable.
A normal person might be concerned for the woman who just caught fire. Sada, instead, laughs, staring downwards with wide eyes. "It seems as if they need someone to dance up on stage. So -"
Crouching, Sada grabs at Tia's wrist/forearm region to pull her up and shove her towards the stage, and possibly the poles -- head first. "Why don't you get -- TWERKING?"
She laughs intensely afterwards, evidently profoundly amused by her own joke. She may regret this shortly.
COMBATSYS: Tia endures Sada's Strong Throw.
~ Cruel hit! ~
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > ///////////////////// ]
Caoimhe 1/----===/=======|=======\-------\0 Sada
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > ///////////////////////// ]
Tia 1/------=/=======|>>>>>>>\-------\1 Tiffany
"What's the deal with all the EXPLOSIVES?!" Tiffany asks of the soldier even as she takes to the air, leaping over the incoming fruit and only narrowly evading the resultant explosion. At this point, she just assumes anything tossed at her will blow up; so far it seems to be a pretty reasonable assumption.
She only has a few moments to even think about her actual plan of attack here; her current trajectory is taking her dangerously close to the speaker, and to Caoimhe, at a rapid rate, and accordingly she decides to just commit to the first thing she thinks of.
Bringing her legs up, she sends herself into a high-speed dropkick aimed at the speaker itself. /Ideally/, this ought to send it squarely into Caoimhe herself... though that's to say nothing of anything the soldier herself might do, or the raw strength of Tiffany's dropkick.
COMBATSYS: Caoimhe dodges Tiffany's Huge Thrown Object.
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > ///////////////////// ]
Caoimhe 1/----===/=======|=======\-------\0 Sada
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > ///////////////////////// ]
Tia 1/------=/=======|>>>>>>>\-------\1 Tiffany
Blasting off again! Even though to any onlooker it seems Tia has -very little choice in the matter anyway- she seems to entirely go with Sada's next wrasslin' manuever, hauled to her feet only to break into a half-dash, showing signs of grogginess but also signs of being an insane bitch who doesn't care how much horrific pain she's subjected to. For bonus points, her gumjob is holding together just fine too.
Until she impacts the stripper pole, and three teeth go spinning out, one in each of three subtly different directions. Collect them all!
She whips back around with a grin anyway, blood dribbling down her chin and eyes wild as she wheelbarrows onto the pole and slithers down its length before spinning about and catching it with one crooked leg and one extended arm. Lifting her leg way, way up, she demonstrates her flexibility and delivers another too-hot-for-TV upskirt to basically the entire casino. Then pauses to spit out a fourth tooth before looking to Sada. Her eyes narrow, and she flexes powerful muscles...
...spinning around the pole once, twice, and a third time--
Before launching herself into a spinning leap that resembles nothing more than a goddamn transformation sequence. Along with the requisite ten million more upskirts of variable quality and pre-watershed suitability, at one point she also manages to lose her entire (copious) outfit before finding it again as he comes around in the air above the stage and lashes an arm upward, fixating on Sada with a snarl.
"Why don't YOU suck on this--!!" Which transpires to be a hurtling, glowing disc of gold-ish (not goldfish, alas) chi, scattering motes of rippling light as it cuts through a chandelier and sends another power surge through the building. As the lights flicker, Tia is butt naked for a second, and then she's not. Special effects? Shared fantasy? Wishful thinking? Who knows. Strawberry fields, NOTHING IS REAL.
"And give me a place to jam this, you callow WANNABE!!"
Landing on her feet for all of .2 seconds, Tia throws herself forward and enters a spin that sees her becoming a blazing ripple of scanty silk, spittle-frothed blood and BURNING CHI, channelling her surprising aura once again as she juts out an elbow and rotates through the air like a slightly less sexy Dhalsim (there's a guy that can t-w-e-r-k it 'til the cows come home, lol hindu), whipping wildly through the air...
...and seeking to plow a chi-reamed jagged elbow right into Sada's chest.
Really, it's amazing she holds back from the obvious. Is she growing more tasteful?!
COMBATSYS: Tia blitzes into action and acts again!
COMBATSYS: Sada parries Tia's Rapid Gale!!
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > ///////////////////// ]
Caoimhe 1/----===/=======|=======\=------\1 Sada
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\ < > ///////////////////////// ]
Tia 0/-------/=======|>>>>>>>\-------\1 Tiffany
COMBATSYS: Sada blocks Tia's Lightning Upper.
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > ////////////////// ]
Caoimhe 1/----===/=======|=======\===----\1 Sada
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\ < > ///////////////////////// ]
Tia 1/-------/=======|>>>>>>>\-------\1 Tiffany
The speaker being kicked at her is answered with a quick roll to one side, ending with the soldier on her back with her legs in the air next to the pile of her belongings. "Girl," Caoimhe starts with an incredulous expression, eyebrows arching as she snatches up one of the coconuts and flips up to her feet, "You /do/ know who you're against here, don't you? Doesn't everyone get the briefings?"
The truth is, not everyone gets the same briefings that Delaney does, provided by Team Going Commando's network sponsors and featuring 'mission guidelines' for the Sergeant to follow that basically amount to scripts. Scripts are important for reality television, after all, if you want to bring in ratings.
The coconut is shaken as Caoimhe darts forward, hooking a hand around one of the poles as she swings around it before hurling the orb at Tiffany using the momentum of the twist. The coconut ignites in flight, essentially a ball of fire by the time it nears the cheerleader. Obviously, more things on fire is what's needed here.
Sada snaps her head up. "She's using explosives?!" Her head whirls around -- Pineapples --
"oh my GOD, that is AWFUL," Sada says, simultaneously horrified and driven to near laughter by the sudden realization of what has been going on. She has to cover her mouth to giggle, before Tia --
Who is spitting out spare teeth, which is something Sada "My Saliva Is Acid" Asai can empathize with, honestly --
Is pivoting towards her and hurling a disk of luminous golden light. It helpfully lashes through a chandelier, cutting through it with a strength and vigor that would make Krillin proud, and sending the lights aflickering again. The thought crosses Sada's mind, like a leaf floating down a river on a pristine spring day, that maybe they should stop having a fight in a hurricane-wracked shanty of a casino on Zack's icon to ego and debauchery.
It drifts away quickly, because that's ridiculous.
Ducking downwards, Sada throws herself down as the disk slashes past and over her head, trimming off a couple of honestly kind of dry locks of hair as it goes. It smashes through the base of a barstool, which flops over lazily. Sada leaps back upwards to be faced with a flying Tia. Her reaction here is to Jump.
That was... not a good choice but not a BAD choice either, as it means she has no anvil to add to the impact when that glittering golden elbow smashes into her rib with a huge pop. "Hurk!" Sada says, bouncing over Tia's head like a baby deer freshly struck by an oncoming car.
Oh hey, Sada thinks ('reacts on some gut level involving trained reflexes' is more accurate, but less dramatic), a ponytail.
She grasps for it like it were the brass ring, and swings her knees around to try and slam into Tia's back just as she comes to light. "Khh--!!"
COMBATSYS: Tiffany fails to interrupt Incendiary Grenade from Caoimhe with Groovy Knuckle EX.
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > ////////////////// ]
Caoimhe 1/--=====/=======|====---\-------\0 Sada
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\ < > //////////////////// ]
Tia 1/-------/=======|=======\===----\1 Tiffany
COMBATSYS: Sada successfully hits Tia with Hair Pull Backbreaker EX.
-+- CALCULATED HIT -+-
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > ////////////////// ]
Caoimhe 1/--=====/=======|====---\-------\0 Sada
[ \\\\\\ < > //////////////////// ]
Tia 1/---====/=======|=======\===----\1 Tiffany
"No! No, I don't!" Tiffany declares firmly, as she ducks low and starts moving toward Caoimhe... but unfortunately, the coconut reaches her before she reaches the soldier, and the results are not pretty in the least.
The fire catches her square in the chest, and she recoils visibly; it rests there for a few moments, causing a pretty solid burn before TIffany gets the presence of mind to grab it and toss it to the ground, upon which point it explodes in a little more earnest.
Needless to say, she's on the defensive now, insofar as 'trying to put out fires as they happen' is 'the defensive.'
Never let it be said that Tia is the only person on Zack Island awful enough to start a catfight with a fellow martial artist! She's seized from the air and brutally slammed, her own echoing 'HURK!' accompanied by a rumbling belchy aftermath that immediately sees her vomit up -not- snake venom but fifteen and a half martinis on hitting the ground. It's a moment she'll remember for never, destined to have both a blazing hangover and a hell of a head/face/hairache in the morning courtesy of the punishing schoolgirl and her... we're not sure how to describe Tiffany...
She's definitely a thing. Caoimhe has whatever measure of sympathy Tia can extend.
Which isn't much. She's a bit busy with the EVEN MORE OUCHY PAINFEST of her spine bending in ways only a Rob Liefeld character could ever be subjected to, her breasts bulging in fascinating ways until they pop every which way out of her inadequate silk wrapping. In certain states, censor bars are applied, and Japan turns an equally-inadequate amount of said breasts into pixels because then NOBODY WILL EVER KNOW.
It's all very dignified. As is the way Tia flops onto her face afterward.
She lies there for a few seconds, in a puddle of her own blood and vomit and bits of dental glue that had only just dried from this morning, and then slowly, slowly pushes herself upright. The lights flicker. Before her appears a vision.
A Chippendale bearing a martini glass.
Tia accepts the hair of the dog that bit her, cracks her back with a tooth-clenching snap, crackle and pop of vertebra, downs the drink and then smashes the emptied glass - and the olive that is still inside it making it technically not empty, TIA YOU MORON -on her forehead. This hurts quite a lot. She blinks blearily at Sada.
"Izzat ALL YOU G-..." She throws up again, but only a little. She swallows it. "GOT?!"
Eyes fiery, Tia raises her hands and paws the ground like a bull in a somewhat-traditional Muay Thai stance. Trying her best to look like a fighter.
Mostly she looks like a drunken whore. This isn't unfair.
The stakes, they're rising! You can't give it up!
COMBATSYS: Tia is getting serious!!
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > ////////////////// ]
Caoimhe 1/--=====/=======|====---\-------\0 Sada
[ \\\\\\ < > //////////////////// ]
Tia 1/---====/=======|=======\===----\1 Tiffany
With the cheerleader forced on the defensive - and enough rum in her to not consider the potential ramifications of exactly what she's /doing/ here - Caoimhe swoops down the pole she's grabbed onto, dipping low to grab one of the bottles lying on the ground. Lifting it up, she lets go of the pole and rushes right toward Tiffany. Wait, how old is this girl she's just set on fire and is about to try and set more on fire through the shattering of a bottle of strong alcohol? This is probably the kind of thought she should be having, but by this point, she's too focused on the mission.
And the mission is to destroy her opposition.
The bottle is brought down with a heavy overhead smash as she attempts to crush it against whatever part of Tiffany may happen to still be on fire, intending to make that part of Tiffany more on fire.
COMBATSYS: Caoimhe successfully hits Tiffany with Molotov Smash.
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\ < > ////////////////// ]
Caoimhe 1/=======/=======|====---\-------\0 Sada
[ \\\\\\ < > ////////////////// ]
Tia 1/---====/=======|=======\=====--\1 Tiffany
"Tiffany!! Stop being on fire!!" Sada shrieks.
She rebounds from the backbreaker, doing a moonsault in the air and landing on her feet. The camera crews that are using battery cameras can see that she seems surprised at this outcome, sweepign some hair back even as Tia falls over.
Then Tia moves. Cracks her back. Downs a drink. Smashes it on her forehead. Sada narrows her eyes. Then she raises one hand to the side of her face as Tia prepares herself, pawing the ground, getting ready to charge in and deal massive damage. Sada doesn't know if she can take another set of huge bumps like that lightning kick, BUT TO HER ANYWAY: It doesn't matter.
"No," she says with a sudden sunny smile. "I also have a message. Drinking a little with friends is fun, but when you drink to excess and it interferes with important activities - You have a problem!"
:D
Sada then rakes her own eyelid with one fingernail. The short gash thus created sends out a gout of blood like the Texas horned toad lizard, except that unlike that lizard, this blood erupts into screaming flame as it flies. It would seem that Caoimhe is not the only one who's playing...
With fire.
COMBATSYS: Tia fails to interrupt Haemolacria from Sada with Rapid Change.
COMBATSYS: Tia can no longer fight.
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\ < > ////////////////// ]
Caoimhe 1/=======/=======|-------\-------\0 Sada
> ////////////////// ]
|=======\=====--\1 Tiffany
Tiffany does not stop being on fire; she shrieks as the bottle smashes against her, her whole body tensing up. This is unusually brutal even for her -- the more she fights, the more raw her opponents seem to be, and something about that unsettles her. She shrinks back for a few moment, as her light blue suit begins to grow dark from flame...
... but ultimately, she keeps right on pressing in, uncowed by her opponent's success. If she's going to be on fire, well -- she just has to make it as miserable as possible to be in close with her, right?
Flipping her body up into the air, Tiffany aims a wheeling kick for her opponent's chin... and then keeps it spinning for a /second/ one, carrying them both high into the air should she connect. At the apex of the climb, she propels herself upward even further, drilling her legs up into the sky -- and hopefully her opponent. ... while still on fire.
COMBATSYS: Caoimhe blocks Tiffany's Wonderful Kick.
[ \\\\\\\\\\ < > ////////////////// ]
Caoimhe 2/<<<<<<</<<<<<<<|-------\-------\0 Sada
> //////////////// ]
|======-\-------\0 Tiffany
As Sada delivers her very helpful public service announcement - sadly, a few hours too late to save the innocent being harmed in this presentation, but prevention IS the best cure, isn't it? - Tia 'Drunky the Clown' Langray just stares at her, bloody and sweaty and so much the worse for wear. And pretty much naked because her clothing was -appallingly scanty- to begin with and now it's just a hot, Miley Cyrus-level mess.
This doesn't stop he thinking she's both awesome and relevant as she makes her final stand and prepares a counter-assault that will blow the collective minds of those present and make her a BELOVED STAR again. Hooray!
"IMPORTANT? This isn't IMPORTANT, you--"
Tia doesn't manage to finish her sentence because she's on fire and everything hurts and ohgod please make it stop, who has this shit for blood? Perhaps she's not the worst thing ever put on the planet after all. Perhaps she's redeemable. Perhaps...
Langray goes running out of the casino as a human fireball, pinwheeling her arms as her hair is rapidly restyled in a sexy Britney fashion and she's given the most effective follicular beauty treatment since a full Brazilian Wax.
Caoimhe's eyes flit briefly toward Tia. The sight of Langray on fire spurs her to redouble her efforts - whether this is because the weight of responsibility is now squarely on her shoulders or because it puts her in a good mood is up for debate.
The first kick from Tiffany connects solidly with Caoimhe's chin, sending the soldier sailing into the air as it strikes her. The soldier isn't taken completely off guard, though, and manages to get her arms up in time to catch the boxer's second kick on the thick part of her forearm. When the final spiralling attack comes, she tucks her arms and knees together to protect herself. She's still carried further aloft, but she comes out of it to land in a crouch, panting as her exposed limbs already begin to bruise from the impacts.
Beside her is a firework launcher that spilled out of her bag earlier.
Grabbing it up, she turns the fuse away from her toward one of the small open flames that has caught on the stage in complete disregard for everything she's ever learned about firework safety. With it lit (and luckily for her, not just blowing up in her face) she levels it toward Tiffany.
"For what it's worth, you don't seem particularly dumb to me! No hard feelings!" she yells before the rocket launches forth, on course toward the cheerleader.
COMBATSYS: Caoimhe successfully hits Tiffany with Super Bazooka.
[ \\\\\\\\\\ < > ////////////////// ]
Caoimhe 0/-------/<<<<<<<|-------\-------\0 Sada
> /////// ]
|=======\=======\1 Tiffany
Set on fire, leaping out a window... Sada nods to herself, smiling as she exults in the feeling of sweet emotion that comes from making someone else sad and unhappy. Today is a good day.
The hurricane's winds are getting in.
Hm.
But then -- "A bazooka?!" Sada cries out. She reaches over to the top of the nearby bar, grasping a container of cocktail garnishes because it's the nearest thing to hand, and burls it straight on towards Caoimhe. "Important lesson number two! Don't shoot rockets at people, even for fighting!!"
What is this, Bangkok? Is Caoimhe secretly a boxer??
The projectile from the bazooka bowls Tiffany over, and she cringes; she knows she's lost this one -- all she can do, really, is make sure to set Sada up to succeed. And the best way she can do /that/ is...
... on reflection, probably /not/ to make out with Sada right here and now, even though it's tremendously tempting. She is a little too on fire to get away with that one, after all.
Accordingly, she staggers toward Caoimhe for a few moments, saying, "... Thanks, but save the compliments 'til after the match!" The immediate /fire/ has finally begun to wear down -- though the creeping sensation of burn marks forming is still distinctly at the top of Tiffany's mind as she leaps up into the air.
Her legs aim for the soldier's neck, and -- !!
COMBATSYS: Tiffany can no longer fight.
COMBATSYS: Sada successfully hits Caoimhe with Thrown Object.
[ \\\\\\\\ < > ////////////////// ]
Caoimhe 1/-------/<<<<<<<|=------\-------\0 Sada
COMBATSYS: Caoimhe dodges Tiffany's Groovy Screw.
[ \\\\\\\\ < > ////////////////// ]
Caoimhe 1/-------/<<<<<<<|=------\-------\0 Sada
Now faced with the prospect of two schoolgirls instead of one, Caoimhe's attentions are divided. More is given to the one that happens to be on fire than the other - she looks like she might want to hug or something, and that really doesn't seem -
Whatever her thoughts were, they're interrupted by a container of cocktail garnishes smacking into her head and sending her toppling to the side, enough to take her out of the course of Tiffany's descent and send the firework launcher tumbling away.
When she lands next to that stick that she had been brandishing earlier, Caoimhe is quick to reach for it, scooping it up before whirling on Sada. She stares at the schoolgirl, drawing in a deep breath as her expression shifts to - is that... gratitude?
Whatever it is, it quickly melts as she charges in again, holding her fighting stick. "HRRAAAUGGGHH!"
At the last moment she whirls around, aiming to drive the pommel of the weapon viciously into Sada's ribcage.
COMBATSYS: Sada dodges Caoimhe's Power Strike.
[ \\\\\\\\ < > ////////////////// ]
Caoimhe 1/-------/=======|=------\-------\0 Sada
Sada is pretty amazing, yup. The icon of Japanese femininity as she throws bar ornaments at people!!
She looks at Caoimhe with wonderment at that momentary glance of... something. Her brow furrows. What was that? She doesn't know. Was it positive regard, positive emotions? Sada cannot easily parse such things. But she does know a person charging in, and what that means for her, i.e. nothing good.
Sada lunges to the side as that stick aims for her already sore ribcage, but without an immediate plan otherwise. Lacking an immediate other option, she goes with a good ol fashioned effort to sweep the leg and toss the hip and perhaps throw Caoimhe into the bar in the process.
"Tiffany did you die??"
COMBATSYS: Sada successfully hits Caoimhe with Medium Throw.
[ \\\\ < > /////////////////// ]
Caoimhe 1/----===/=======|=------\-------\0 Sada
One quick leg sweep and hip toss is all it takes to send Caoimhe onto - and subsequently, over - the bar. Glasses are knocked everywhere, though the sound of them shattering is actually pretty difficult to hear over the screaming of the crowd combined with the howling of the wind as it brings rain, sand and all kinds of other things from the seaside storm in through the broken windows of the casino.
It would seem that was the end of it, too, until, a few seconds later, the soldier rises, trembling, like the undead from behind the bar. Somehow, she's got /another/ one of those high-powered firework launchers, and it's loaded with a lit fuse. Her eyes sweep the casino vengefully for her target. Tia has already left the building, though, so she instead takes aim at the next closest thing - Sada.
When the firework flies forward, a failure to brace in her dazed state sends Caoimhe flying back against the shelves in the back of the bar. A pile of bottles of alcohol and Zack paraphernalia fall from the shelves to bury her.
It might be the happiest thing to happen to her in days, if she was still conscious.
COMBATSYS: Caoimhe can no longer fight.
COMBATSYS: Caoimhe knocks away Sada with Super Bazooka.
> ///////// ]
|=======\-------\1 Sada
Sada had already gotten the idea in her head to walk over to Tiffany's location, perhaps to help her or just to watch her burn down, when Caoimhe pops up like a horrifying yet militarized jack in the box.
Sada is not the best, yet, at awareness of her surroundings. Her eyes come up -- and widen as the streaking firework smashes towards her. It hits her in the shoulder, bursting and making HER scream this time as she's blown back three yards, smashing her way under a table, rolling around desperately to put out the flames!
But put them out, in time, she does. In a strange way, the fizzy vitality of her sweat helps, at least once it's been spread around - like natural fire foam! Even so, if there was anything left in Caoimhe, she'd be able to capitalize.
But fortunately for Sada...
=THE NEXT MORNING=
When Tia got back to her hotel room, she was still on fire. The suite now has one remaining wall and no ceiling. It stinks of burned hair and skin, though by some miraculous twist of fate the side table and Tia's laptop are still strangely intact. She's asleep in the pile of ash that used to be her bed. She looks terrible.
The screen of the computer suddenly flickers on and a grainy face appears.
"Miss Langray," says her boss, "You are FIRED. We thought you should know. We've paid Miss Shelly Tarlar's bail and she will testify against you in court for the murder of Jack Hammond. Have a nice day, Miss Langray. Thank you for your work with ENT. We value our employees and delight in telling you that you are no longer one of them. If you--"
"Hmgnaslkbrghl," counters Tia 'Two-Face' Langray, throwing her sole remaining, broken and scorched high-heel through the screen of her laptop. "Fuckin'... schoolgirls..."
Passing out once more, she has fever dreams of blood and fire and acidic bodily fluids.
=ALSO THE NEXT MORNING, EIGHT MINUTES FORTY SEVEN SECONDS LATER=
A man arrives in person to deliver quite the opposite message to Caoimhe Delaney, informing her that because people love explosions and she has a very nice ass, the Eruption Television Network would love to offer her a one-time only deal to be the next star of their made-for-TV dramedy hit, Pineapples in Paradise! Featuring a special performance by the network's hotly-tipped rising star Shelly 'Not Tia' Tarlar, it's a rollercoaster ride of love and betrayal set to a pounding soundtrack of sampled explosions, mixed by everyone's favourite top DJ Skrillex!
It's an offer she surely can't refuse!
All in all, for Going Commando, TIP was - to quote Tia 'Not Shelly' Langray herself - the best. vacation. ever.
Log created on 21:20:35 02/16/2015 by Tia, and last modified on 04:32:32 02/17/2015.