Description: Reality TV shows are high-quality entertainment for high-quality people watching them on high-quality TV. But television producers are always seeking more ratings and, in an effort to ignite interest in their plethora of reality shows coming out this season, they have enlisted the aid of Saturday Night Fight's writers to cop out as hard as they are able -- and cop out they shall. Set on a REAL-ASS island (production set located somewhere in California), Yuri Sazaki, Alan R.B., Flora Akahana and Brett Neuer aren't just fighting -- they're competing to see who gets voted 'off' their real-ass Survivor island adventure to take home the grand prize: the Contenders' Belt. And just how is someone voted off the island? By being beaten so hard they can't fight anymore. Obviously. What do you think this is? (Winner: Alan)
CHINA!
Specifically, some LAKESIDE in CHINA!
In this idyllic locale, a cadre of SNF media terrorists has encamped, taking its natural beauty and gouging a deep scar into it, that its peaceful and awe-inspiring visuals may serve as facile backdrops to the latest reality-fighting trend: REAL-ASS SURVIVOR. Unfortunately named by Ken Masters himself, this new concept -- 'new' in the way that things stitched together from separate bodies are new -- promises the psychological intrigue of Survivor and the bone-shattering crotch-kicks of Most Extreme Elimination Challenge, with fighting as the glue binding them together.
It's hot, it's humid, and the tiki torches aren't quite keeping the bugs at bay. Welcome to hell.
Yuri Sakazaki is fully aware of how much-- "--this BLOWS," she squeals, her voice more grating than the sound of dolphin rape. "OH MY GOD I'M GOING TO LOOK LIKE ONE OF THOSE GROSS ENORMOUS LEATHER HANDBAGS THAT PEOPLE'S /MOMS/ CARRY, THIS SUUUCKS!" The fight hasn't even begun yet, and the film crew is already devoting a camera to capturing the teenager's tantrum. Wearing a 'modest enough to protect her innocence, midriff-baring enough to not protect her from Takuma using the belt when she gets home' sport bikini and a Palestinian unity scarf, Yuri flails around needlessly, as if vocalization can't quite express her unhappiness as well as arrhythmic physicality. "I've already got like a BILLION bug welts and my sunscreen SMELLS and my HAIR is just turning GREASY from CONTACT with the AIR and the PEPSI in the COOLER is all WARM and GROSS and OH MY GAAAWWWDDD," she whines, her tantrum taking her to an open-air fighting sand-pit.
Alan R. B. has absolutely no problem with insects. They come at him in droves, drawn on by his magnetic personality, and when they come within a few inches a little jolt of the electric chi constantly coursing his skin jumps out, sizzling it with a pop. A swarm of mosquitos attempts to descend upon the boxer, who puffs serenely on a cigarette as his body sends out interceptions without any effort on his own part, insect dust settling to the ground around him amidst a staccato crackle.
He taps his ash. "Man, I love being me." So armed against the insects, Alan keeps one hand in the pocket of the loose khaki shorts he has for this JUNGLE ADVENTURE, a tight black a-shirt tucked
This wasn't exactly Brett Neuer's idea of paradise either, mind. For a Minnesotan, born and bred, with winter and hockey in his blood, tropic hell wasn't exactly his idea of fun either. And as unused to the tropics as he is, he tans like such as well. Or, perhaps more a better term would be 'burn' rather than 'tan'. This is why he's hudded up under a shade, already nearly bright red all over in his drenched tank top and trunks. "What...the....hell...." he mutters...he'll...move into the fighting pit when everyone else is ready. Really.
At least he's not quite as beleaguered by bugs as the rather squealy Yuri, his stick taking care of things as a giant fly swatter thankfully. He has THAT going for him, at the very least. As he looks at the gathering, he eyes Alan, muttering. "...how the hell are you even wearing black out here?"
Flora at least has some Italian blood in her. The heat is annoying, but it's not going to kill her, as far as she knows. It just makes her hot and a little grumpy, although she did her best to deal with that - she has jeans shorts and a tank top rather than a school uniform or a proper fighting outfit. (Where she got a tank top that fit is a good question.)
She hasn't said a lot since she got here, in fact, but has instead stayed off to the side, often near (if not in) shade. Flora's slightly curved bow/staff is stuck in the sand; she hefts it up as she walks toward the fighting pit, knocking sand off it before she restrings it, something that takes only a few moments of effort to do.
Flora is trying very hard to ignore Yuri. It's not working. That's some sort of sonic assault over there.
Alan R. B. has absolutely no problem with insects. They come at him in droves, drawn on by his magnetic personality, and when they come within a few inches a little jolt of the electric chi constantly coursing his skin jumps out, sizzling it with a pop. A swarm of mosquitos attempts to descend upon the boxer, who puffs serenely on a cigarette as his body sends out interceptions without any effort on his own part, insect dust settling to the ground around him amidst a staccato crackle.
He taps his ash. "Man, I love being me." So armed against the insects, Alan keeps one hand in the pocket of the loose khaki shorts he has for this JUNGLE ADVENTURE, a tight black a-shirt tucked into the waistband. Jungle. Hah! His cigarette down to the butt, he flicks it over his shoulder casually. It smacks a curious lemur or some goddamn thing right between the eyes, drawing shrieking animal protests as it absconds.
Hailing from the dusty and hot lands of Nevada, the humidity is about the only thing annoying Alan here. He hits the fighting ring about the same time as Yuri, and wastes no time brazenly looking her up and down, still zapping insects that draw near. "Tiny little outfit you got there, sweetcakes." He pulls the cigarette case he shouldn't have from his back pocket, snapping it open, getting a fresh one, and lighting it with a fingersnap. "Too bad about the mouth, but I can think of somethin' to do about that." Puff puff.
Rolling his neck, he gives the miserable Brett a sneer, light flashing off his sunglasses. "Must have something to do with me not being a pussy!" Entirely missing his nationality in preference of being a sassmouth, he adds, "Try to survive withoot your hourly hit of maple syrup, can't have you passing out on us." Flora in turn gets a whistle as Alan looks her up in turn... and up... and up. "Christ, you ate your goddamn Wheaties."
Yuri is about to start complaining about how the China is, quote, "retarded" -- welcome to life as the impressionable daughter of a grumpy Japanese traditionalist -- when Alan enters her life. Turning on a bare heel to face the American, her brain processes a number of things quickly: 1. he's pretty good looking, 2. he's wearing black in a sweaty and steamy jungle locale which means he's mysterious and cool, 3. he's smoking, which makes him mysterious, cool, /and/ a bad boy, and 4. he may or may not have just said that he'd like to engage in oral sex with her.
Because Yuri is more or less an idiot, it took Alan no more than four steps to win her heart.
"HMPH!" the teenage Kyokugen 'expert' huffs as she turns to face all of her opponents. "Well, come on then! You're probably underestimating me because I'm the only girl in a fight against three men! But I'll show you all that women are just as tough as guys -- and when I bring the championship home, it'll be in the name of KYOKUGEN STYLE!" Yuri does a fancy, useless uppercut twirl to drive her point home, whatever her point may be. "So who wants some?!"
COMBATSYS: Yuri has started a fight here.
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Yuri 0/-------/-------|
COMBATSYS: Alan has joined the fight here.
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Alan 0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0 Yuri
COMBATSYS: Flora has joined the fight here.
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Yuri 0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0 Flora
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Alan 0/-------/-------|
COMBATSYS: Brett has joined the fight here.
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Alan 0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0 Yuri
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Brett 0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0 Flora
Well, with things seemingly getting started finally, Brett reluctantly gets out of the shade, using his stick to keep the bugs away still as he walks over. Walking....something he's really not used to doing in a fight. That's a slight bit of a problem considering it means he has no skates on, which means his usual momentum-based attack style might find...problems on the sands.
"Excuse me if not all of us can be tropic-level buttheads," he mutters, restraining himself from using something more vivid than 'butthead'. Gotta remain polite if he can help it, after all. As is, however, he looks like 6 ft. of melting raspberry ice, glowing red with sunburns and sweating as he glowers between everyone. "Just...lets just get this done with, alright?"
Flora reddens slightly at Alan's commentary. You'd think, after so long, she would be getting used to people commenting on her height. It's not like she's ever been short for her age. "It happens," she says, "and it wasn't exactly anything I tried to do."
Still red, she knocks dirt and sand off her bowstaff and steps the rest of the way into the fighting ring. And then Yuri has to go and say... /that/.
"Oh come /on/!" Flora says, going even redder. "I don't look like a guy! I /know/ I don't sound like a guy!" She doesn't. "My name's FLora, for crying out loud!"
Alan's cigarette nearly falls out of his mouth as he stares blankly at Brett for a full half-minute, jaw slackening. Then he convulses with laughter, throwing his head back, hand on his forehead. "Haahahahahaha! Holy shit man, really? How old are you, twelve?"
---
The show abruptly cuts to the testimonial room, a plain bamboo affair with a recliner. Alan is sitting in it sideways, legs thrown over one arm of the chair, hands knotted behind his head. He doesn't even look at the camera. "Yeah, so, first impressions? Tall bitch, loud bitch, pussy who can't take the heat. I mean, come on, really? This is what I gotta deal with? I'm on a whole other level from these mooks! Well, OK, the karate chick wasn't too bad looking. Young, but it's a progressive world, right? Hah. But this guy, yeah, I pretty much hated him right off the bat. Anyone who's going to step into a ring to throw down that isn't man enough to even say 'asshole' while burning to death in a little averse weather is basically useless, so I figured I'd get him out of my hair so I wouldn't have to watch him puffing away."
---
"Damn, man, damn." Without further ado, Alan stops the pussyfooting around, sand pluming behind him as he lunges. Yuri's 'three men' comment gets a harsh snicker from him. Lightning crackles around his legs and right hand as he practically teleports from himself to Brett, hoping to catch the bigger man off-guard with his speed.
"Yeah, it happens," he calls back to Flora even as he tries to bury a crackling right hand hard into Brett's ribs, darting back immediately after, carefully gauging the reach of that stick. "Too bad about that too, I ain't interested in girls I gotta bend backward to see clear!"
"'Flora'?! That's not even a real name! Nice try, but my daddy taught me how to deal with funny guys like you who hang out in the park after nightfall! You're even more obviously a tranny than Blake Lively!" Yuri bounds toward Flora, kicking up sand as she runs. She's a good sight shorter than the other female -- well, a good sight shorter than everyone here, really -- but she more than makes up for it in reckless exuberance.
---
Yuri is in the testimonial room now. "Oh my god what did Alan say about me? Did he like my braid? Because if he didn't like it I can just undo it, I mean, it's no problem!" Yuri swiftly undoes her hair, letting it spill down onto her shoulders, straight and limp. "--b-but what if he /did/ like it! Oh no!" She hastily begins re-braiding her hair, having to stop several times because in her attempt to do it so swiftly, she screws up a lot.
---
"Let me show you what a /real/ woman is capable of!" Yuri suddenly stops short of Flora, and with absolutely moderate speed, spins around on one leg. She brings the other up, and when her spin ends, a volley of quick kicks is sent toward the other woman's chest. "I hope you didn't use a water bra or anything, because if so, you're about to be ALL WET!"
COMBATSYS: Brett endures Alan's Medium Punch.
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Alan 0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0 Yuri
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Brett 0/-------/----===|-------\-------\0 Flora
Finding himself still somewhat dead on his feet thanks to the heat, Brett finds himself a little too distracted with Yuri's antics to pay attention to what Alan does. WHich doesn't really matter, as the other man's speed is surprising enough that he wouldn't have seen it coming as is. When he DOES spot Alan finally, the punch is already coming to his ribs. A shot that hits him dead on and rattles him.
---
In the testimonial room, covered with calamine lotion on his face and his bare arms, the hockey kid sighs, muttering. "I'm out of my element there, you have to realize. I grew up in Minnesota, remember. I'm more used to ice than sun, trust me. So I found myself REALLY....REALLY tempted to unload on this guy. If mom and dad didn't drill it in me to be a better man than that, I would have used every word in the book. 'COurse, that was before he shot behind me and hit me in the ribs. Made me wish I still had padding. Still...if this guy wanted to mouth off, I just had to shut him up the hard way, right
---
Digging his feet in, Brett keeps his footing best he could in the sand, gritting his teeth as he glowered at the electric punk. "Big....mistake." Game face time. A game face as snarling as the high stick swipe he aimed straight for Alan's nose, nearly diving toward him full bore in attack.
COMBATSYS: Yuri successfully hits Flora with Chou Mawashi Geri.
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Alan 0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0 Yuri
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Brett 0/-------/----===|=------\-------\0 Flora
Flora has been called lots of things before. Freakish, sure. Mannish maybe, although less so in the last couple years. Gay, although FLora is not entirely sure how they get that from her height.
'Tranny' is a new one.
---
Everyone else gets a testemonial. Flora, for all that she isn't big on talking, isn't going to skip hers. "I don't even know what she was thinking," Flora says. "I mean, I really don't get how you can mix me up for... for that. I mean... do I? Be honest." Pause.
"Actually, don't. But, I mean, that's kind of infuriating, you know? At least that Alan guy was positive. You know, for certain values of positive."
---
"What - hey!" Flora yelps, caught off guard by the sudden attack. She is not in fact wearing a water bra; the kicks thunk against her chest with enough force to make it a little hard to breathe for a moment, and all Flora manages to do is lurch backwards to try to absorb some of the impact.
That lasts until Yuri finally touches down again; Flora pulls with her staff, a hooking gesture, and then fires a (blunt) arrow almost straight down at the hopefully downed karate girl.
COMBATSYS: Alan dodges Brett's Power Strike.
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Alan 0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0 Yuri
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Brett 0/-------/----===|=------\-------\0 Flora
"What do the Japs say again?" Alan starts, as he hunches down and steps forward, the hockey stick buzzing harmlessly by his face. "You're one thousand years too early, kid!" Alan doesn't immediately capitalize, legs wheeling as he continues his dodge to move past Brett, quickly circling around his back and coming around on his other side, sneering. He puffs a cloud of smoke out - it smells delicious! Those black and golds are pretty high quality. He continues his casual backpedalling all the way out of the sandy area, fetching up against a tree and leaning back.
He proceeds to cross his legs at the ankle, arms slumping back, and insects in the air sizzle as the electricity around him redoubles, the flow through his body intensifying. His hair remains perfect, though the lightning bolt dances around eratically.
Then he pulls his trump card.
"Hey, ladies!" Alan starts, throwing a wink at Yuri and Flora. "I think our friend is having some heat issues! What do you reckon to a little mercy killing? Promise I'll treat you all gentle afterwards." Always good to improve the chick to dude ratio.
COMBATSYS: Alan gathers his will.
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Alan 0/-------/---====|-------\-------\0 Yuri
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Brett 0/-------/----===|=------\-------\0 Flora
COMBATSYS: Yuri dodges Flora's Trip Hunt.
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Alan 0/-------/---====|-------\-------\0 Yuri
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Brett 0/-------/----===|==-----\-------\0 Flora
When Yuri's flurry of kicks comes to a close, her awkward teenage antics begin to pull back the curtain a bit, revealing the genuine talent beneath -- Flora tries to hook her, but Yuri slams her kicking foot down and vaults into, of all things, a backflip. Ably handspringing up and landing back on her feet, Yuri claps her palms free of sand. Then she stops to think about something, and makes a face.
---
Yuri looks a little queasy, even slightly green, as she speaks to the camera. "They felt... pretty real," she says. "I mean, I'm, like, tolerant, but... that... that's... /gross/... you know?"
---
Yuri's moment of reflection is stopped, though, by Alan calling over. "Sure thing!" she chirps, scampering toward the blistering puck-handler. "And you were totally right! Us Japs, like, totally really /do/ say that!" Yuri attempts to karate chop Brett right across his sunburned shoulders. "Oh, uh, I'm Yuri! What's your name?!"
COMBATSYS: Brett blocks Yuri's Aggressive Strike.
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Alan 0/-------/---====|=------\-------\0 Yuri
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Brett 0/-------/---====|==-----\-------\0 Flora
"...sadly....that didn't go so well," Brett says from the confessional room, sighing as his hand curls, as if trying to keep himself from scratching his face.
---
With Alan wheeling away as Brett dived, the young winger finds himself nearly face planted straight into the sand, catching himself on his hands just in time. "GUhhh...." Grunting, he kicked himself back up to his feet, glowering at Alan, showing quite a bit of animosity toward him. And then...the bait. "Wh-" the teen says, before suddenly finding a chop leveled at his shoulder. Twisting, he brings his forearms up, catching the hard shot on them before reeling away. "GAhnnnn, ssssssssssss....B-Brett....name's Brett..." he says through gritted teeth, backing away to get some room and a little better field of vision on everyone.
---
"So that guy pegged me as the weak link between us four. Fine, whatever. If the cute but loud girl and the...um...taller, better adjusted one came after me as well, they'd have to come get me. I'll be waiting and ready.
COMBATSYS: Brett focuses on his next action.
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Alan 0/-------/---====|=------\-------\0 Yuri
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Brett 0/-------/---====|==-----\-------\0 Flora
Flora recovers quickly from her failed attack and avoids falling over on her face. That would be embarassing and what we call a 'bad thing'.
She seems less inclined to charge off after Brett than Yuri, although part of that may be because she's carrying a bow and those are not known to be particularly specialized close-combat weapons. Even for Alan, she doesn't run off.
Flora /does/ draw another arrow and pull it back, though, arm muscles tensing. "I dunno," she says, "it looks like he's suffering enough right now." He just got slapped on the sunburn! That would hurt like /hell/.
Flora takes a breath, lets it out, and takes another, holding it this time as she holds the bow drawn, almost unmoving. She seems like she's going to be there a few moments.
COMBATSYS: Flora gathers her will.
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Alan 0/-------/---====|=------\-------\0 Yuri
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Brett 0/-------/---====|======-\-------\0 Flora
Alan testimonies, swinging forward in his recliner and sitting on the edge, slapping his hands together with a crack. "Ha ha ha! Man, I love it! Some girls, you just give 'em a wink and a cool look and bam! Putty in yer damn hands." He throws himself back, still smug. "God, it's great."
---
"Bloop doop doop," Alan responds to Flora, lifting both of his hands, the corona of electricity faltering. A small yellow orb crackles into each palm, between his thumb and middle finger. "The sooner he's unconcious on the ground, the sooner he gets to escape to a magical dreamland." Alan is so sincere!
His thumbs and fingers press together, the orbs sizzling. "Do you actually think she was talking to you, slapnuts?" He snaps one finger - "Strike!" - and the other - "Twice!" - sending a pair of lightning bolts jumping in at Brett, passing to either side of Yuri. "Pretty sure she was asking me, because somehow she hasn't managed to hear about Alan R. B.!"
'Oh my god,' Yuri thinks. 'Not only is this guy cool enough to abbreviate two thirds of his name, he shoots lightning bolts, like some kind of sexy wizard.' It's all she can do to contain a hideous, ear-violating squeal. She does, however, have to remember to jump backward to avoid being too close when lightning strikes. If it does. And if it doesn't, she doesn't want to be in the way.
"Alan?! Wow! I totally had you PEGGED for an Alan. Seriously! I saw you and was like you know what I bet that guy's name is Alan, it's just the sort of name that goes really well with a guy like you, I mean as far as I can tell, we've only known each other a couple minutes and all that!" Yuri pauses to gulp air. "I like your glasses," she manages to wheeze out while taking time to breathe.
Then, verbal second wind reached, she remembers what's happening. "Oh! Right! Let me help you with this guy, Bran or whatever! He should know 'Attack of the Killer Tomatoes' is a movie, not a fighting style!" Yuri then attempts to kick Brett in the forehead.
Ålân R.B.'s eyes glaze over about halfway through that.
COMBATSYS: Brett blocks Alan's Lightning Strikes Twice.
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Alan 0/-------/--=====|=------\-------\0 Yuri
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Brett 0/-------/=======|======-\-------\0 Flora
COMBATSYS: Brett interrupts Medium Kick from Yuri with Hurricane Check.
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Alan 0/-------/--=====|====---\-------\0 Yuri
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Brett 1/-----==/=======|======-\-------\0 Flora
It really isn't a good day to be Brett Neuer. If the tropic environment wasn't bad enough for him, thanks to Alan, he was the designated kicking boy between the four of them. Vapid Alliances unite it seems. Teeth grit, he can't say much in return. All he can do is brace for what's coming. When the lightning bolts come in, the stich rises up, trying to catch them and bat them away. Not exactly what happens, but he manages to mute the shock, somehow, thanks to the wood (the metal bracketing reinforcing his stick thankfully staggered). "GUhhhhnnn...." When the kick comes in, he has a choice....
---
"Ok, so I either fall down, and give them what they want, or I fight back. Push forward, or fall back. I mean...I was always tought to do one thing as a kid, as a hockey player, and as a human being: whatever you do, try and always push forward, no matter what. So...what's the choice? If everyone's against me, I have to go down like a man, right?"
---
The choice is academic for Brett. The kick comes high, and Brett rushes in. He's clipped high on the forehead a wince as he barrels forward, plowing his elbow straight for Yuri's collarbone. Unfortunately, with the lack of skates, he can do his usual spiral, so he simply twists back, slamming forward with his other shoulder to blast the rather perky Kyokugen fighter back.
Flora keeps her arrow drawn all the way back. She can hold her breath for a /long/ time. It must be all that lung capacity. And she listens - to Alan, who is smug and proper, to Brett who is complaining (although he has a damn good reason to), to Yuri who is an assault on the senses.
Flora exhales at the same time she releases the arrow; it spins away with her breath, aimed at the cluster over there. It looks, for a moment, as if she decided to aim at Brett too, to join in with all the other gang-beatings.
---
"Yeah," Flora says, "I don't really go in for that 'everybody beats up one guy' thing. Okay, he can probably get annoying, but what about Yuri? She called me a man, and you know, I'm just not okay with that! Plus, I had a pretty clear shot at her if I got a little tricky."
---
At the last instant, the arrow is caught by wind - or something - as a little glitter of green coats it for an instant. Particularly sharp-eyed people might swear that it actually bent a little bit, curving in the air to deviate slightly from its original path, now aimed solidly at Yuri's back.
Again with Yuri and the mouth. Alan reflects that some things aren't worth dying for, right as Flora drives an arrow at the smaller girl's back, despite the blonde's explicit orders.
---
Alan spreads his hands out. "Sometimes a bitch steps out of line. There's an easy solution to this."
---
Alan swings one arm up, palm smacking against the bark of the tree he's up against, and lifts his feet up to brace his boots down. Sparks curl around the tree's trunk as Alan launches off of it, right hand out, right for Flora.
Smirking, he tries to just grab her right by the face, a whirling storm around his arms as he tries to further wrap her into a chokehold, comically hanging off of her back like an angry midget (made of lightning). "Ha ha, hey, you need me to teach you a little lesson, glass o' water? When I'm over here telling you whose ass to kick, you should probably kick that ass! I'm not someone to play around with!"
Setting up his future cards, he fires another wink at Yuri. Play 'em like a harp, Alan.
COMBATSYS: Yuri dodges Flora's Swerve Arrow.
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Alan 0/-------/--=====|====---\-------\0 Yuri
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Brett 1/-------/=======|======-\-------\0 Flora
---
"I think I might be barren now," Yuri moans in the confessional booth.
---
Brett essentially makes Yuri barren as his shoulder slams into her midsection, lifting her off her feet like a bull goring a rodeo clown. She flops off of Brett's shoulder and spasms on the ground as if she were a fish drowning in air, but once she's got air back in her lungs, she pushes up to her feet, woozy and facing away from the predator taking aim.
---
"Oh, yeah, Daddy shoots arrows at me all the time," Yuri says in the confession room, shrugging as if this is normal. "I mean, obviously because he wants me to learn to defend myself against an attacker coming from any angle! Duh! Obviously! ...right?"
---
Yuri spins around and, in one of those moments where her brain is blaring 'DON'T THINK JUST DO IT' even louder than it normally does, the swimsuit-clad Survivorette catches the arrow by its shaft just inches from hitting her.
Alan, meanwhile, is obviously coming to her rescue! "Hey! I can take care of myself!" she snaps at him, but with a dopey look in her eyes that suggests that she thinks the world of him despite this. "But I can also take my own /revenge/, too!" Yuri tosses the arrow away over her shoulder casually and spins around to face Brett, her trendy Palestinian scarf momentarily flapping up into her face, causing her threatening monologue to sound like "Mmff! Mmph!"
Yanking the scarf down, Yuri harrumphs. "Never mind! Just suck on /this/!" She plants her feet down -- and then thrusts forward, a ball of chi blooming from the palm she thrusts forward, wafting lazily toward Brett.
COMBATSYS: Yuri successfully hits Brett with Haoh Sho Ko Ken.
- CRAZY Hit! -
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Alan 0/-------/--=====|=====--\-------\0 Yuri
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Brett 1/-======/=======|======-\-------\0 Flora
Breathing heavily, Brett managed to get his balance back after blowing through Yuri with his trademark HUrricane check. That was the good news.
In any case, he looks up, watching Flora decide to take a little mercy and aim at Yuri instead. "Thanks," he says breathlessly, even as the arrow is dodged. However, when he spies Alan moving after the taller girl to choke her out, he frowns, and makes a break for them. It's only fair, after all, that he return the favor.
---
In the confessional, Brett looks exasperated, leaned over his knees before his head rises up to look at the camera. "The one problem with looking and only moving forward though...is that something behind you usually is going to bite you in the ass sooner or later."
---Thus, the Haoh Shokoken. That would be the Bad News. The giant chi ball blasts straight into his back, plowing Brett over and sending him rolling head over heels forward in a horrible state. Moaning in pain, Brett struggles to try and get to his feet. Alas, he finds it a bit difficult....and thus, he figures out that sometimes, moving forward entails a little....staying still. To catch one's breath, you know, so he can move forward again. "S-sorry..." he manages to grunt to Flora as he flomps down, hoping the short little...rest might give him some resolve to keep the fight going.
COMBATSYS: Brett gains composure.
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Alan 0/-------/--=====|=====--\-------\0 Yuri
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Brett 1/---====/=======|======-\-------\0 Flora
COMBATSYS: Alan successfully hits Flora with Dynamo Grip.
- Power hit! -
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > /////////////////////// ]
Alan 0/-------/-======|=====--\-------\0 Yuri
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > /////////////////// ]
Brett 1/---====/=======|=======\=------\1 Flora
Flora uses blunt arrows because she doesn't want to kill or hurt anyone by mistake. It's like punching - long-distance.
With her bow up to shoot, Flora is a relatively easy target for Alan's grab; he snags her neck and literally swings up. It's times like this that she wishes she /wasn't/ quite so tall, because then he wouldn't be able to do something like that.
---
"I know you're supposed to plan at times like that," Flora says, "but I admit I just kind of panicked. I mean, what do you do with a guy on your back? He's hard to reach, so I pretty much had one chance, and I wouldn't have done it if I hadn't been stuck against wrestlers a few times lately."
---
Flora drops her bow entirely for a moment, twisting to try to get one hand on Alan's arm; it's like scratching her own back, but the target moves. If she does manage it, she literally tries to lift him over her head and slam him down in front of her, kicking him a little further away before she scoops up her bow again. "Geez, get off!" is what she means to say, but it comes out a lot more like 'hhhng' due to electricity and choking.
COMBATSYS: Flora successfully hits Alan with Strong Throw.
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > /////////////////////// ]
Alan 1/-----==/=======|=====--\-------\0 Yuri
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > //////////////////// ]
Brett 1/---====/=======|=======\==-----\1 Flora
"I hated this part."
--
Alan, swinging around on Flora's back, is not grabbed by his arm by sheer chance - instead, she catches his face, and peels him off with one good grab - his strong suit isn't in his grip so much as it is in the electricity crackling out of him during it. With one good swing, she hauls Alan into the sand like a lawn dart. His shades break up and crumble down, and there is a brief window where his face is planted down, with the rest of his body still almost upright.
Flora uses that opportunity to kick Alan in the gut, creating a "Pflurrkct!" noise and hurling him away. The blonde spirals across the air, back at the other melee currently going down, splaying out his arms and legs. Wait for it... waaait for it...
Lightning flashes around Alan as he flings himself back into conrtol, somersaulting on a proper path toward Brett and Yuri. His right arm is flopping uselessly as he turns. Broken? No! Relaxing the limb totally, Alan opens up that natural chi flow of his, a spiral of power blazing around his fist, chi crackling out everywhere, spidering out onto the ground.
In one smooth motion, Alan hits the ground heavily, drops into a roll from too much momentum, and pops up right at Brett's chin, blazing fist leading. "OVERCHARGE!" Electricity explodes out from the point of impact.
"You miss me, maplehead?"
"HEY!"
Yuri shrieks this so loud that her voice causes the microphones to squall and spark with feedback, necessitating a subtitle in the later television broadcast ('HEY!') because they could not in good conscience put that sound on the air. Lowering the volume a bit, Yuri points at Flora with determined fury. "LEAVE THAT MAN /ALONE/!"
Yuri charges toward Flora again, after she hucks Alan away. She balls one hand into a stern little fist, her face a mask of, well, almost ludicrous teenage melodrama. "I don't know what kind of weird hang-ups you have, and I don't want to know, but you have NO RIGHT to take it out on people more totally amazingly handsome than you!" Yuri surges forward--
--and launches into her little ghetto Shoryuken wannabe. "YURI CHOU UPPER!"
COMBATSYS: Brett fails to interrupt Overcharge from Alan with Broad Street Barrage.
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > ////////////////////// ]
Alan 0/-------/-----==|====---\-------\0 Yuri
[ \\\\\ < > //////////////////// ]
Brett 1/-------/=======|=======\==-----\1 Flora
COMBATSYS: Brett can no longer fight.
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > //////////////////// ]
Yuri 0/-------/---====|=======\==-----\1 Flora
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Alan 0/-------/-----==|
Unfortunately, for Brett Neuer, that small little break of his turns out to be an extremely long one. As he finally gets enough in him to push himself back up to his feet, he looks around...only to find Alan, sparking with chi everywhere, right in front of him, hand swinging hard for his chin. "Wh-"
Despite his best attempts to retaliate before anything can happen, the supercharged electric punch plows straight into his chin, sending him flying high upward, eyes blank as elecrtricity crackles all over his head. The landing?...unceremonious, body plowing into the sand with a cloud of slicia, before his unconscious form his seen, half-visible under all the sand kicked up by his landing.
COMBATSYS: Flora fails to counter Yuri Chou Upper from Yuri with Mirage Step.
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > ////////////// ]
Yuri 0/-------/-======|=======\=====--\1 Flora
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Alan 0/-------/-----==|
"I'm not trying to be handsome!" Flora yells, not entirely sure how to deal with Yuri; she's dealt with screamy kids before, but this is a much worse thing - a screamy teenager. Worse, a screamy teenager that Flora cannot actually hit to get her to shut up - she tried that, it clearly didn't work.
But she has to try again. Flora tenses, bringing her staff up, and starts to blur as she steps around Yuri, fast enough that she almost seems to vanish. Except even fast as she is, she isn't quite fast /enough/; Yuri clips her with the fist as she starts to move, lifting Flora into the air and throwing her back to land in a messy pile. The staff lands on her head a moment later.
"Ow," Flora says, as she regains her feet with the help of the staff.
The electricity continues to crackle from Alan's fist and arm after the rolling straight, gradually receding back into his arm. With the last of the electricity clinging to his hand, Alan sweeps it back through his hair, slicking it back down, and producing the cigarette he keeps in there to replace the one he just now spat out.
---
"But /that part/ was great. Can we play that again, in editing? Is that gonna go down? No? Tshh, douchebag, you don't know what brings in the big money."
---
The boxer hooks his thumbs in the straps of his black A-shirt as he turns around, and practically saunters over to Yuri and Flora, taking his time. Coming up alongside the smaller Kyokugen student, his left hand drops down, and swings back in a movement familiar to Alan fans. It begins with an extremely casual and relaxed 'stride' of the arm, the integral setup to the eventual success of this technique. Then, his hand splays out, fingers at full extension as he hooks his arm at the elbow, betraying no additional motion with his shoulder. Then, the arm comes back around, palm headed right for Yuri's butt, hungry for the smack. "Attagirl, we got this down."
COMBATSYS: Yuri fails to interrupt Jab Punch from Alan with En Yoku.
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > ////////////// ]
Yuri 0/-------/=======|=======\=====--\1 Flora
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Alan 0/-------/-----==|
Yuri's ass tenses when Alan smacks it -- "YIPE!" -- though her bottoms are more than modest in the coverage they provide, Yuri can feel the bruise rise when her touches back down after jolting into the air. Rubbing her posterior gingerly, she weakly smiles.
--- Confession:
"HE LIKES ME HE LIKES ME HE LIKES ME HE LIKES ME HE LIKES ME HE LIKES ME HE LIKES ME HE LIKES ME HE LIKES ME HE LIKES ME HE LIKES ME HE LIKES ME HELIKESMEHELIKESMEHELIKESME HELIKESMEHELIKESMEHELIKESME HELIKESMEHELIKESMEHELIKESME HELIKESMEHELELIELKSIEKKSKELSIELELIE"
---
"Th-Thanks!" Yuri chirps, momentarily dazed.
Flora can't believe she just watched Yuri get slapped on the ass.
Okay, yes she can, but it's still kind of bizarre. Frightening, even.
Flora, upright again, switches her grip on her staff until she's holding it like a bow once again. When she goes for her arrows, she doesn't just pick up one - she picks up three, holding them between her fingers as she draws back, bending the bow at full extension.
She fires each and every one of them at Alan, the slapper rather than slappee. In flight, each of the real, physical blunted arrows splits off into two or three greenish arrow-shaped darts of chi, so when they actually get to him, it's less of 'a couple arrows' and more of 'a spray'. "Geez, get your hands off her! How old are you anyway, like twenty-five? She's younger than /me/!"
COMBATSYS: Flora successfully hits Alan with Thousand Flight.
- Power hit! -
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > ////////////// ]
Yuri 0/-------/=======|==-----\-------\0 Flora
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Alan 0/-------/=======|
Alan only rolls his eyes at Flora, sneering at the three arrows... a sneer that becomes a predator's grin when they all start to split. There is a bare instant of confusion as Yuri doesn't immediately kick him in the head or something for the badtouch, and that contributes to Alan's ultimate fate.
---
Alan sits soberly in the chair, elbows on knees, hands clasped in front of his face. After a moment, he spreads them. "See, this keeps coming up. Man, people gotta let their minds open up! This is going down in China, right? Age of consent is 14 there! I mean, 14-15, that's the line I ain't steppin' on, but she is one fine example of a 16-year old cutie, if you can get past the whole mouth thing. Damn, but she is /dumb./ It's like Cribs, the Real World, and Entertainment Tonight all had a weird little baby and it grew up to have a pretty decent ass. I figure she's just jealous I wasn't goin' after her buns right then. Do I make it up to her? Heh... wouldn't want to spoil it now."
---
Alan springs right at the arrows, taking an active defense route. Electricity crackles as his boots jump off one arrow, he pushes off another one before he hits it, and going into a twist, he kicks off three more of the projectiles.
Then one catches his shoulder, slicing the A-shirt strap right through, and it's a slippery slope - twisting, Alan is completely ruined by the rest of the arrows, punching holes in his shorts, obliterating his shirt further, and splitting his cigarette right in half.
He lands on his feet and immediately twists down to the ground. Bruised and cut from the chi, he leaves a small splotch of blood on the sand when he rises. "Tshhahaha! Damn, I thought I had it that time." He spits a little more blood, and rolls his neck.
He falls forward again - but no! At the last moment his hands stab out, hurling him up through the air. Again he goes for a grapple on Flora, trying to wrap her torso up with his legs, an unconventional move from a boxer, twisting her down at the ground while simultaneously pounding both fists down in an axehandle at the top of Flora's head.
"Oh no! Alan!" Yuri squeals, putting her hands to her mouth, watching wide-eyed with pure horror as Alan basically catches an arrow beatdown. "It's okay, Alan! I'll get some water to refresh you!"
---
Yuri is playing with her hair. "Well, I mean, yeah, I think Daddy would have problems if I ever brought Alan home, but... that just means I don't take him home." The teenager giggles. "I bet he has his own place! And a car, too!"
---
Yuri runs off toward the lake, only to trip over a bundle of cables and hurtle headlong down a sloping hill. Toward the lake. She bounces head over heels the entire way, slamming this limb and that, until finally, with a grand 'splash,' she lands in the water. It's a good thing she was wearing her swimsuit.
But as it turns out, the water /is/ pretty refreshing.
COMBATSYS: Yuri gains composure.
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > ////////////// ]
Yuri 0/-------/-======|==-----\-------\0 Flora
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Alan 0/-------/=======|
COMBATSYS: Alan successfully hits Flora with Charged Combo.
- Power hit! -
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > /////// ]
Yuri 0/-------/-======|=======\-------\0 Flora
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Alan 1/-------/=======|
Flora holds the picture-perfect kyudo position probably a bare second longer than she should. In absolute terms, it's not a lot; many onlookers won't even notice her mistake, or wouldn't under most circumstances.
Fighters are different. Alan capitalizes on it, assisted by the fact that Flora was expecting another punch, maybe a grab with his hands - she didn't think he was going to do anything with his legs but move around on them, so he manages to grip around her body with his legs.
That didn't hurt as much as the axehandle to the head, though.
---
Flora shifts in her chair. "He may kind of be obnoxious, but I have to admit he's really good at that," she says. "I mean, /really/ good. Kind of grabby, though, I wonder why he didn't go into wrestling instead of boxing?"
"Anyway, uh, I figured he was going to win about there, and I lost track of Yuri because /some/ people can't actually stay in the fight. I mean, who takes a dip at a time like this? Even if she did have a swimsuit on. So what was I going to do other than try to stay in a little longer?"
---
Dazed anyway, Flora hits the ground as Alan throws her to the ground. She manages to twist so she's not terribly badly hurt /and/ to avoid landing on her bow, but she's still getting really beat down over here; she rolls away from Alan, trying to slip out of his squeezing grip, and just take a few moments' breather. "She went that way," Flora points out, gasping, as she points down the hill.
COMBATSYS: Flora gains composure.
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > ////////// ]
Yuri 0/-------/-======|=====--\-------\0 Flora
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Alan 1/-------/=======|
Alan broke away after the axehandle, not entirely confident in anything resembling a ground game. His boots hit the sand, and he takes one backstep, rubbing some more blood off his mouth. Those arrows were terrible! He yanks the ruined a-shirt out of his shorts even as he glances to where Yuri ran to, balling it up and flinging it away. "She sure did," he responds, rolling his shoulders and settling back into his stance. He lifts his fists up before his face, half-crouching, compressing himself down and reducing Flora's target. "You finally get me alone for a change!"
He lunges then, occasionally dashing to the left and right to keep Flora off-guard, electricity building up on each fist. He starts with a straight punch aimed at Flora's gut, to bring her a little more down to his line. "It's nothin' personal. I just like to keep my loose ends tied off." His left hand chops up in an arc for her face, throwing off an arc of chi into the air.
What's Survivor without challenges?
And what's Real-Ass Survivor without real-ass challenges?
Anticipating that someone might be thrown in the lake, the producers prepared well for it -- and knowing that the fighters could hold their own (presumably), they saw no need to pump the brakes on this particular idea.
Which is why when Yuri's head pokes out of the water, she her gaze pivots to one side, and she realizes she's face to face with a crocodile. "AAAAAAIIIIIIIIEEEEE!" the teenager screams as the crocodile slowly opens its mouth (because they did not want anyone to die, the producers went out of their way to find a crocodile with a congenital brain defect).
What happens next is lost amidst the extreme amount of splashing, because no one taught Yuri that thrashing around in the water just makes her a more appealing target. It's clear, though, how the encounter ends -- as a freshly uppercutted crocodile soars through the air, seeing stars -- coincidentally, right toward Alan.
COMBATSYS: Flora blocks Alan's Medium Punch.
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > //////// ]
Yuri 0/-------/--=====|======-\-------\0 Flora
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Alan 1/-------/=======|
Flora is moving a little better now. Not great, but better now that she had a moment to catch her breath. Fast enough that she can actually react to Alan's aggression in a reasonable amount of time.
She holds her staff one-handed and catches Alan's punch with the other hand, shoving it aside, and jerks her head backwards to avoid the chi arc. All she gets for her trouble is a sore hand and a brief shock from the electrical buildup there; she shakes her hand to try to get some feeling back in it.
Flora is facing the right way to see it. "Geez, look behind you, crocodile!" she yelps, being simultaneously perfectly accurate and totally unbelievable. She hopes he /does/ look, too, because she hooks her staff at Alan's legs, trying to loop around one and bring him to the ground with a short yank; she is assisted in this by the sudden appearance of a green arc of chi that makes her staff into a proper hook.
She's going to have to go to Yuri eventually.
COMBATSYS: Alan parries Yuri's Random Weapon!
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > /////// ]
Yuri 0/-------/--=====|======-\-------\0 Flora
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Alan 1/------=/=======|
COMBATSYS: Alan parries Flora's Mantis Claw!
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > /////// ]
Yuri 0/-------/--=====|=======\-------\0 Flora
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Alan 1/-----==/=======|
Yurika arrives from elsewhere.
The hooking staff is met with the bottom of Alan's boot as he not only jumps atop it, but bends his knee as he goes, keeping his weight from falling fully on it and simply letting it pull him up and along. "You school chicks are terrible at misdirection, you kn--" He then claps his jaw shut so hard that the filter shears right off the cigarette, leaving half of a black and gold to drift to the ground.
The boxer finishes his free staffride, and proceeds to /run along the chi/, lightning crackling around his boots as he goes. At the tip of the hook, he springs off, curling up and flipping over toward the crocodile. His feet slam down like a ramrod to its back, and he rides it down, one hand clamping its jaw shut, the other hand pulling back. On impact with the sand, he drills down at the top of its head, jarring its tiny croc brain and knocking it all the way unconcious.
---
Alan points one thumb at himself, and then points the other. He nods, with a shit-eating grin plastered on his face.
---
"So, uh," He starts, planting one foot off over on the beach. "So there was!" Life of crime has given him a slightly paranoid frame of mind, and nothing says 'backstab' like a crocodile to the face. Electricity still thrumming around his feet, he only takes a second to gauge where Yuri must have 'thrown' it from, and he leaps back through the air, still keeping the crocodile with him. From Yuri's point of view, the crocodile is just coming back for more, if a bit... limply. Alan air-surfs the thing right at her face, smacking it onto her and springing back off.
With a crack, he starts somersaulting forward rapidly, one heel leading as he drills way more than the usual three flipping kicks into the croc's back and the Sakazaki beyond. "Ring! Of! Thunder!"
COMBATSYS: Yuri dodges Alan's Ring of Thunder EX.
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > /////// ]
Yuri 0/-------/--=====|=======\-------\0 Flora
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Alan 1/-----==/=======|
"JESUS CHRIST!" Yuri screams as a crocodile sails toward her, and dashes out of the water completely, running for the land, where naturally things are meant to be safe. It does not cross her mind that crocodiles are capable of moving on land, too -- or that Alan is as well. Still, it's better than whatever would have resulted /there/.
---
"What was /that/ about?! It was an accident! Still, I could tell he didn't /mean/ it. I mean, Alan just gets so /intense/ sometimes, you know? It was probably my own fault for not yelling, like... 'HEADS! ALLIGATOR!'"
---
Yuri shakes herself dry -- or, at least, no longer sopping -- as she considers her options here. On the one hand, Flora made her feel really uneasy last time she kicked her. On the other, Alan is wrestling a crocodile. (Clearly, he's doing it to impress Yuri.)
"Uhh," Yuri says, and thinks for a moment: What would her dad say?
---
Takuma is shown storming out of a building, calling toward someone. When the girl with Lyme disease rolls down her front seat window, he bitchslaps her.
---
"YEAH!" Yuri cries, despite no one having really said anything, or any indication being present of what she's 'YEAH!'-ing at. Still, it's some kind of battle cry, as she runs toward Flora and attempts to slam her roughly into the sand.
COMBATSYS: Flora counters Hyakuretsu Binta from Yuri with Mirage Step.
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > ////// ]
Yuri 0/-------/-======|=======\-------\0 Flora
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Alan 1/-----==/=======|
"I thought she was crazy. I mean, a crocodile?" Flora says, shaking her head as she sits on the chair, after the match. "Turns out she might just have been stupid. I mean, I'm no genius, but even I know not to start kicking around crocodiles."
---
Flora holds her ground as Yuri charges her, letting her scream and run straight at the taller girl. Only at the last moment does Flora actually appear to blur, swerving around Yuri and letting her hit the spot where Flora was mere instants ago. Her staff jabs out with the same blurring speed at the small of Yuri's back, shoving her onwards.
Yuri gets out of the way, despite all of those amazing things he just did, leaving Alan to crash into the lake croc-first. Water explodes up around him, catching the lightning crackling around Alan, refracting it everywhere and sending an additional fountain of sparks through the splashing water. Droplets and crackles fall back into the lake, leaving Alan shining iridescently as the water and the electricity continue to interact. His hair is all messed up, so he has to take a second to swipe it back and form a new lightning bolt down the left side of his face.
The crocodile, meanwhile, is woken up by the water, and makes his dumb little retard way away from the place he will always think of as 'crazy pain land'.
Alan slogs his way out of the water, dripping and crackling, and winces. He hates it when fights start getting long, all the acrobatics tire him out. Alan lets himself slump, relaxing as he cracks out a third cigarette - the ivory-and-gold case keeps his smokes bone dry in any weather. Electricity starts swirling around him, shockwaves travelling from his feet. "Yeah, you keep it up, babe!" he yells to anyone that will choose to be flattered.
COMBATSYS: Alan gathers his will.
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > ////// ]
Yuri 0/-------/-======|=======\-------\0 Flora
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Alan 1/-======/=======|
"UWAAHH!" Yuri cries out as she collapses onto her knees, clutching her back. "OH MY GOD YOU CRIPPLED ME YOU VEINY MAN-HANDED FREAK OH MY GOD!" She falls onto her stomach, kicking her feet into the sand while awkwardly gripping the small of her back, contorting her face into a look not unlike a child throwing a tantrum in a department store. "I'LL NEVER WALK AGAIN! MY WHOLE FAMILY WILL AVENGE ME AND I'LL LEARN WHEELCHAIR SAVATE LIKE THE WEIRD LITTLE PUPPET-Y GUYS IN THAT MURDERBALL MOVIE AND YOU'LL BE SORRY!"
Yuri then jumps to her feet, standing tall on two legs, jabbing a pointed finger at Flora menacingly. "YOU HEAR ME?! YOU'LL BE SORRY FOR CRIPPLING ME /FOREVER/!"
Yuri then looks down, her pointed point wilting as her finger curls. "Oh... wait. Haha!" Her face flushes slightly. "But if I'm not crippled, that means I can do /this/ -- with all the power of WORKING LEGS!"
Yuri puts those legs to use, as she charges at Flora with another uppercut, this one more powerful than its predecessor by far!
COMBATSYS: Yuri successfully hits Flora with Shin! Chou Upper.
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > ]
Yuri 0/-------/------=|=======\===----\1 Flora
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Alan 1/-======/=======|
"And that's when I knew," Flora says, "that she was just crazy."
---
Flora is getting kind of tired of this. She knows perfectly well she didn't hurt Yuri badly; she has better control over her staff than that, and the fact that Yuri is actually /jumping around/ isn't helping.
She sighs. "Look, I don't know how you got here, or - or what, but clearly you're nuts, and I don't really want to hit you ag - gah!"
She might not want to hit Yuri, but apparently it wasn't a mutual thing. Flora staggers back, weaving slightly as she barely remains concious from the mighty blow to her chin. Flora lets off an awkward-looking blow, still wobbly; she spins her staff in front of her, literally trying to sweep Yuri away.
And then, after that, she pitches forward, the head-blows having finally caught up to her. Flora's tough. She's not /that/ tough.
COMBATSYS: Flora can no longer fight.
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > /////////////// ]
Alan 1/-======/=======|=------\-------\0 Yuri
Alan feels primed and restored, electricity crackling anew across his skin, as he trudges up the hill back toward the sandy pit. He casually adjusts the iron rings on his fingers, flexing out his hands as the fight between Yuri and Flora comes to its conclusion.
---
"Next time some guy wants to say that Alan R. B. is not completely amazing, and has no game, and is just a shameful person, I want them to look here and remember the time he got thrown in a jungle with a hockey meathead, a girl twice his own damn size, and a
Alan feels primed and restored, electricity crackling anew across his skin, as he trudges up the hill back toward the sandy pit. He casually adjusts the iron rings on his fingers, flexing out his hands as the fight between Yuri and Flora comes to its conclusion.
---
"Next time some guy wants to say that Alan R. B. is not completely amazing, and has no game, and is just a shameful person, I want them to look here and remember the time he got thrown in a jungle with a hockey meathead, a girl twice his own damn size, and a Kyokugen student, and talked his way into getting 'em all to beat the hell out of /each other/ while he stood around and looked pretty."
---
"Finally," he declares, "a little bit of alone time!" Alan pulls up his fists, making a relatively slow (still pretty fast) journey over roots and branches to get to the sand pit and Yuri. "You'll make this good for me, won't you doll?" Like a hawk on a mouse, he takes a few steps up a tree and plummets down at Yuri, emphasizing his point with his first real attack on his 'teammate' and a wide, arcing hook punch, flinging more electricity down into the ground with a rumble.
COMBATSYS: Yuri dodges Flora's Spinning Staff.
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > /////////////// ]
Alan 1/-======/=======|=------\-------\0 Yuri
COMBATSYS: Yuri fails to reflect Rapid Combo from Alan with Saiha.
- Power fail! -
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > ///////// ]
Alan 1/=======/=======|=====--\-------\0 Yuri
Yuri leaps up -- "KYOOO--" -- up and up and up, well over Flora's spinning assault, doing a backflip in mid-air and landing on her feet -- "--KUUUGENNN!" She smugly lifts her arms, and flexes her biceps proudly. Just then, though, Alan re-enters. "Oh! Hey! Are you done wrestling the gator, Alan-- HEY WHAT THE HELL KNOCK IT OFF!"
---
Confession: Yuri appears to be attempting to verbally communicate, but it just comes out as an unintelligible cacophony of sobbing and honking her nose. Helpful subtitles read: '???'
---
Yuri attempts to deflect the sudden surge of electricity with a forward push of her own chi, but she's too bewildered and horrified by Alan's betrayal to even come close to pulling it off correctly. Thus, the lightning bolts slam into her legs, causing her to get horrible convulsive charlie horses and fall over, screaming.
"Oh come on, don't be a baby, I thought you were better than that." Alan lands, and holds both of his arms up, electricity swirling into two large orbs in either palm. "Hahaha, don't forget, this is a fight! With a big ol' purse waitin' for the winner at the end of it."
His arms leave blue afterimages as they slowly, cruelly drop down, a light coming off of them that would shine off Alan's sunglasses and obscure his eyes in a manner fraught with symbolism that those crazy animes do all the damn time, but his shades are lying in a pile Over There ---> and so the camera angle has to change to where his lightning bolt bang and a curl of smoke from his cigarette are obscuring half of his face. His smile is downright cruel as he starts snapping his fingers. "Thunder... STOOOORM!" Bolt after bolt of lightning cracks cruelly down on the fallen Yuri, sand drifting away from Alan in waves.
Shouldn't've tried to reflect him, it just reminds Alan of that GOD DAMN DR. TRAN.
COMBATSYS: Alan successfully hits Yuri with Thunder Storm.
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > // ]
Alan 0/-------/=======|=======\-------\1 Yuri
Yuri is electrocuted so profusely that not only does her braid somehow come undone, her hair briefly frizzes out into an afro'd mess before settling into 'mid-80s Lita Ford' shape. By this point, though, Yuri's eyes have rolled back in her head and she's flopping around on the ground, sputtering.
---
"I... I guess I learned that sometimes, true love isn't meant to last," Yuri says, playing with her braid in the confessional. She seems disconsolate. "I mean... he was so /cute/ -- that's what true love is, right? Like, love at first sight? When someone is totally handsome?" Yuri sighs, a defeated, Linus-like sound. "Oh, well. I guess it's better he didn't /technically/ become my boyfriend, anyway. Because then that would have been domestic abuse, and Robert probably would have run him over with his car." Still, Yuri seems sad, and she just kind of looks at the floor.
---
Meanwhile, in the present, Yuri convulses so hard she does a backflip using only her head. This is enough to put her down for the count, flopped awkwardly with her face in the sand and her ass in the air.
Her Palestinian unity scarf, which she spent no small amount of her father's money buying, has come loose. It flutters away in the warm breeze.
COMBATSYS: Yuri takes no action.
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Alan 0/-------/=======|
COMBATSYS: Yuri can no longer fight.
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Alan 0/-------/=======|
"I love playing dumb bitches. Hey, I felt bad for a second, but I immediately soothed it with my large cloth sack full of money."
---
Alan flings his arms out to either side after the barrage, sending arcs of electricity to either side. An endangered species of parrot swoops down at a horrible time, and is just blasted, all the feathers exploding off as it squawks away angrily (because chi is the power of nature and would never destroy nature). A repeated cry of "Asshole! Asshole! Raaacht!" reverberates through the jungle.
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"I've been sleeping a lot better lately. It's because I do it on my new cloth sack full of money!"
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"Whoop, those are expensive." Alan springs after the scarf, snatching it out of the air to drop it on the back of Yuri's head, because nobody should ever lose money unless it's directly to him. He gingerly sifts through the shards of his sunglasses until he gets the silver highlights from his frames out, pocketing them. Whistling to himself, he keeps his hands in his pockets as he walks off, pausing only to slap the downed Yuri's ass again, as she has naturally presented in her last moments of conciousness.
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"You want to come over for dinner, cameralady? I think we're having MONEY!" Alan shoots up from his confessional recliner, laughing like a duke as he struts out, hands in vest pockets.
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COMBATSYS: Alan has ended the fight here.
Log created on 19:52:43 07/13/2009 by Yuri, and last modified on 00:19:36 07/15/2009.