SNF 2009.07 - Don't Try This At Home! Ken vs May Lee/Kyoko

Description: Squaring off against Kyoko and KOREAN SUPERSTAR May Lee, Ken Masters--along with these lovely ladies--is tasked to teach children how to be proper and upstanding citizens. This, of course, means lots of Shoryukens. Lots of them. And so much pain. So much pain... (Winner: Ken)



The YFCC lobby is very, very busy.

Young children flood the lobby in a sea of youthful vigor, loud squeals and ear-piercing laughs and all sorts of terrible, child-like sounds filling the cramped space. For the most part they're kept in check, corralled by numerous on-hand employees trying to calm them before the big scheduled fight. At the same time, camera crews and various officials for SNF are milling about, desperately trying to refrain from getting migraines at all the high-pitched shrieking around them.

In short, it's a huge damn mess.

In the sectioned-off area set aside for the three fighters stands a YFCC employee, who feebly claps her hands in an attempt to get the children to be quiet. Most of them do not listen, and instead continue to play around and goof off. Her futile efforts nearly bring the young woman to tears. Until--

"SHUT UP!!!"

Standing off to the side of the (now frightened) young employee is Kyoko Minazuki, black eyes half-lidded as she shoots a menacing glare toward the sea of young children. A heavy silence fills the room, all of the youthful eyes fixed on the nurse of Justice High. Kyoko just continues to glare, a hand pressing to her forehead.

"Oh man this hangover is killing me," she mumbles.

"Okay listen up kids!" Pointing a finger toward the audience of young children, the nurse continues. "We're here to teach you...what are we doing?"

"You're instructing them on what you shouldn't be doing by doing it yourselves," the young YFCC employee quietly informs Kyoko.

"RIGHT things you shouldn't do. Here's your first lesson: don't get really drunk at a staff party the night before you're supposed to beat up some rich good-looking famous fighter." Lifting a finger, Kyoko presses it to her forehead, eyes pinched shut. "My head is still throbbing. Ugh."

Thankfully for May Lee, some administrator affiliated with SNF gave her a call an hour or so before her fight was meant to go on, just to remind her of its precepts and go over some last minute directions for getting to the YFCC. The landmarks have changed in the last few weeks; 'hang a left at the bombed out animal shelter and you'll see the Community Center after the next downed traffic light' doesn't work so well anymore, and these days the YFCC is more of a building than an artistic collection of rubble. Directions are helpful.

May Lee being informed that she should probably abandon her home-made Kamen Rider 555 costume in favor of her normal clothing, also helpful.

There might or might not be videos on SouthTube later this week to make sure she gets some use out of the helpful educational spots she'd worked out in her head.

Either way, she's a touch late in actually arriving, and that's /with/ running all the way from her home to the building. She would have made it on time, but there was this store with these souvenirs and one of them was a little talking shoulder parrot and she just had to get it and it's still there because she couldn't just run back home and she couldn't take it with her to the YFCC to get blown up by a Hadoken or something.

So she's kind of frantic and out of breath when she slides dynamically through the door, jumps the cordones keeping the fighting area away from ev erything else... and catches her right foot just so on them. To her credit, she does manage a very acrobatic roll across the ground rather than just planting onto her face.

Unfortunately, when she springs up, her momentum is such that she crashes haphazardly into Kyoko rather than just standing upright.

"Mm--mmph dmph... bmph... lmmph... effrfff... she mumbles dazedly against the Justice High nurse."

In Ken Masters' dressing room, which is actually just the men's locker room with 'KEN MASTERS' written on a sheet of notebook paper taped up near the door, the American champion and new owner and host of Saturday Night Fights bounces his young son on his knee. He is currently shirtless. "Okay, Mel, you gotta watch as Daddy goes out there and fights. Do you know why?"

"To watch you win!" Mel squeaks, as children often do.

"Well-- Well, yeah, that's basically true," Ken says, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "But /more/ basically true and probably more basically important is that you watch what Daddy does out there, and you /don't/ do it. And you tell Daddy if /Sean/ does it, because that kid makes me so crazy sometimes because I swear sometimes he doesn't know his elbow from his--"

"Ken!" Eliza calls over sharply from where she's ironing his red gi top. "Language!"

Ken and Mel share a chastised look, each struggling to hide a conspiring smile -- Mel hides his better than Ken's. "Sorry, hon," Ken says, setting Mel down and throwing a playful, slow fake-punch at his son, who ably 'blocks' it. "My gi ready?"

"It is," Eliza says, stepping back and setting the iron down. She holds the freshly pressed top up. "I don't see why you fly Mel and I all the way out to your matches just to do your ironing, though. You could have someone at the hotel do that."

Ken takes the gi top, and as he throws it on and ties his belt, he leans over to kiss his wife on the cheek. "'Cause when someone else does it, it's just my gi," he says with a grin. "But when you do, it's my /lucky/ gi." The blonde warrior looks around, and rolls his shoulders. "Okay, gang -- time for me to do this." He starts toward the door.

"Ken--?" Eliza says, trepidation in her voice.

Ken turns and glances over his shoulder.

"Be careful."

Ken Masters laughs. "Don't worry, honey. I'll be fine. It'll take more than a couple Johnny Knoxville stunts to hurt me."

"I'm not worried about /you/ being hurt, Ken," Eliza says, putting her hands on her hips. "I'm worried about /you/ hurting /them/."

Ken can only give an awkward chuckle. "Well, uh, I'm... sure they're very well trained." He turns and exits--

--and walks right out into the main room where the match is actually occurring, holding his fists up as a momentarily deafening round of cheers no doubt assaults Kyoko's brainstem. Ken reaches for a mic that a P.A. passes him, and motions for the crowd to quiet down. "I've prepared a speech to commemorate the first Saturday Night Fight under my control," Ken says, a grin spreading across his face before he nips it in the bud and becomes serious. He clears his throat, and takes a folded square of paper out of his pants. With a rustle, he unfolds and begins to read it. "Ladies and gentlemen..."

Ken looks around. "...what is destiny. What is fate. I dedicate this fight to fathers, and father figures everywhere. I hope that in some small way all of their sons manage to fight them. And Gen -- I'm gonna get you better, you old sack of shit, and then I am gonna /uncork the ass-beating of a lifetime/ on you, and you will respect me! PEACE!" Ken smirks, casually dropping the mic over his shoulder as the crowd applauds in confusion.

"Uhh," offers Kyoko, who pinches her eyes shut a bit more, struggling against the painful headache that swells, the lights of the YFCC not really helping the hangover she's trying to overcome. "There was some other thing I wanted to say, but I honestly cannot remember it. I think I left my cards in my other jacket." Patting her torso and hips down, she looks around for them. "Maybe? I don't know, are they here..?"

Meanwhile, May Lee busts through the doors and makes her presence known, tumbling across the ground. Kyoko remains oblivious up until the young Korean fighter crashes right into her, sending the woman wildly flailing as she struggles to maintain her balance.

"Whoa whoa whoa!" the woman exclaims, attempting to help peel the young fighter off of her body. "I'm not that kind of gal--" Pausing, she squints. "You're a girl," the nurse notes. "And...oh. You're May Lee, aren't you? I'm--"

A roar of children cheering at Ken's arrival breaks Kyoko's concentration, black eyes shifting toward the blond as he steps out. Her hands shoot up, attempting to block her ears as the nurse flinches in response to all the sudden aural stimuli she's forced to endure. Eventually, they quiet down, to Kyoko's relief--she even sighs, half-sagging as she rubs her eyes.

After the moving speech not at all taken from one of the greatest movies ever, Kyoko composes herself enough to regard the approaching blonde in red. "I honestly have no idea what we're supposed to do here," the nurse confesses to Ken and May Lee. "I don't see how beating each other up is going to teach kids what not to do, but hey, that's why I'm a school nurse and not a counselor I guess." Shrugging idly, the Justice High nurse slants a gaze toward May Lee.

"Are you ready?" she asks, her eyes shifting to Ken. "And you, mister Masters?

"Because ready or not, here goes Kyoko Minazuki!"

Making a charge at Ken, the woman seeks to step PAST the martial artist and dropping low before she snaps her body upwards, attempting to uppercut Ken in the freaking jaw. "Hit them before they hit you kids!"

COMBATSYS: Kyoko has started a fight here on the right meter side.

                                  >  //////////////////////////////]
                                  |-------\-------\0            Kyoko


COMBATSYS: Ken has joined the fight here on the left meter side.

[\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  //////////////////////////////]
Ken              0/-------/------=|-------\-------\0            Kyoko


COMBATSYS: MayLee has joined the fight here on the right meter side.

[\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  //////////////////////////////]
Ken              0/-------/------=|-------\-------\0           MayLee
                                  >  //////////////////////////////]
                                  |-------\-------\0            Kyoko


"Don't--don't be late either!" May Lee manages to exclaim after extricating herself from Kyoko with a loud gasp. She then immediately looks up to the nurse and grabs one of her hands to shake it vigorously as she quickly says, "I am /so/ sorry, I just tripped, and you were there, and I was--well, I was--it was an accident and I'm so sorry I would never, definitely not with you, especially not with you, not that there's anything wrong with you at all, you're a very nice lady I bet and I would be honoured to fall into you but I don't really like ladies like you or ladies period and Master Kim would probably be very upset with me if I went falling into people man or woman either because it's not v--" in the space between being peeled away and Ken entering.

Her crimson visage is turned towards the cause of all those cheers, and then she swallows hard, gives him a brisk little wave and begins to say, "Well, we're supposed to teach--although we--well, I--" before Kyoko heads in to just punch Ken right in the chin.

"And..."

"And, uh..."

"Um..."

"And make sure you work together!" she finally manages, with a thumbs up and a smile towards the kids. With that, she runs towards Ken's left side, intent on grabbing his shoulder to vault past him so that he can be shoved towards Kyoko via her feet being planted against his back.

COMBATSYS: Kyoko successfully hits Ken with Shusseki Kakunin.

[   \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ///////////////////////////// ]
Ken              0/-------/-----==|-------\-------\0           MayLee
                                  >  ///////////////////////////// ]
                                  |=------\-------\0            Kyoko


COMBATSYS: Ken interrupts Swan Circle from MayLee with Shoryuken.
- Power hit! -

[     \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ///////////////////           ]
Ken              0/-------/---====|=======\-------\0           MayLee
                                  >  ///////////////////////////// ]
                                  |=------\-------\0            Kyoko


"Okay, kids," Ken says, basically ignoring Kyoko and May Lee for the moment so he can address the crowd: "The first thing you /never/ want to do in a fight is /not/ pay attention. If you have anything else on your mind, or let yourself become distracted, whether it's by a girl or a bully or the Internet or whatever kids worry about these days--"

Ken's tangent is interrupted by Kyoko punching him right in the chin, sending him sprawling backward, cluching his mouth. "Ungh," he says, stopping himself from falling over. "See what I mean? Here's another thing--"

As May Lee tries to vault over Ken, he smashes both of his arms upward, launching her up like he would a volleyball -- and then drops down to spin into the air, chi erupting around his fist. "SHOOORYUKEN!" he cries as he rockets into the air -- and then, when he falls, he lands through a conveniently placed craft services table.

Getting up and dusting himself off, Ken grunts again, covered in bits of food. "If you're going to jump around like me or May Lee did, dudes, make sure you're not going to land on something that gets you hurt. Gym mats are fine for tumbling -- sidewalks, your classrooms, mouse trap factories, and mom's fine china /aren't/. You with us so far?"

Some of the kids clap and hoot 'yes'. From the craft services mess, coffee begins to leak, the puddle steadily growing.

"Oh, don't worry about it, dear," the nurse replies to May Lee as she's shaken by the hand most vigorously. "I'm just glad you're okay and you showed up and...and...uh while I do not take offense I am glad you feel that way, I think?" It takes most of Kyoko's brainpower to try and follow the girl's stream of consciousness. The hangover isn't really helping much.

In some distant hope of maybe fixing that, Kyoko takes combative initiative, sneaking in on the blonde as he addresses the students. May Lee follows, her movements caught in the elder woman's peripherals as she stoops low and swings upwards, smacking Ken in the jaw and sending him stumbling back. The young Korean girl's luck doesn't seem quite as fruitful; wincing visibly as she's Shoryuken'd, the nurse follows her rise and ultimate fall.

"Now Mister Masters, don't you think that was a bit much??" the Justice High nurse wonders, offering the blonde a look of scrutiny and what may very well be disappointment. "I sure hope she's all right. I'll check on her in a second. Kids, also ...uh..."

Kyoko frowns a little. "I'm really bad at this motivational speaking stuff. That's Hideo's department, honestly." Shrugging, the woman just decides actions speak better for her. And thus, breaking into a run despite her heels, Kyoko attempts to seize Ken by the wrists before unleashing a series of rapid kicks into his torso before she'll try to sweep his feet out from underneath him.

May Lee winds up among the kids, which earns her a whole lot of prodding and poking from tiny little hands as she groans and pushes herself back up to her feet. Thankfully, she is graceful enough to not take any children out with her flailing limbs as she strives for balance, so that's certainly a plus.

"I--uh--don't--"

She swallows hard, then she crouches and goes into a high arcing leap to take her before Ken's food service table. "Don't give up, especially if you're suddenly punched incredibly forcefully in the face! It's important to face your troubles in life head on, even if it's difficult or scary!" She does a little spin in place, flashes a wink and a thumbs up towards the kids, and then she tries to hop up onto the table to drive her palm towards the side of Ken's head.

"So says May Lee, Champion of Justice!"

COMBATSYS: MayLee successfully hits Ken with Medium Punch.

[       \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ////////////////////          ]
Ken              0/-------/---====|=======\-------\0           MayLee
                                  >  ////////////////////////////  ]
                                  |-------\-------\0            Kyoko


COMBATSYS: Ken interrupts Shokushin from Kyoko with Medium Throw.

[         \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ////////////////////          ]
Ken              0/-------/-======|=======\-------\0           MayLee
                                  >  ///////////////////////       ]
                                  |====---\-------\0            Kyoko


Ken cracks his neck as his attackers regroup. He looks around, wondering what lesson to impart next -- when May Lee cracks him in the side of the head. Right in the ear, in fact. "Daah--!" Ken hisses, gripping the side of his head through blonde hair. "Ugh," Ken groans, regaining his wits quickly. "Okay, kids, that's sort of, like, a corollary to one of my earlier points -- always be aware of your environment."

Then Kyoko swoops in and starts kicking Ken in the torso, gripping his thick American wrists. The blonde fighter weathers it for a moment -- and then flexes his stomach to sternly rebuff her attack. Flipping the grip on his wrists into a grip on Kyoko's, Ken whirls around and casts her away, like a discus -- or, rather, like a woman wearing high heels toward the slippery coffee puddle on the floor. "Case in point, dudes."

"Hey good job May Lee!" the Justice nurse calls as the young Korean do-gooder smacks Ken upside the head. That's the spirit; now if she can get her hands on the blonde American fighter and kick him with those nasty heels, they'll be set! It's a good plan, in theory!

It doesn't really pan out in Kyoko's favor, however. In a surprising twist her wrist is grabbed before she's spun and sent stumbling right for that puddle of coffee, which she hits and immediately begins to slip off her heels. Running momentarily in place, she ultimately smacks onto her duff with a painful thud. Whipping forward, she tries to pinch off the pain--

And hits her forehead against the table.

So for a few minutes Kyoko sits on that puddle of coffee, rubbing at her forehead and trying to nurse of her headache. Eventually the woman pulls herself back onto her feet, aided by the table's edge. "Who left a puddle on the floor!?" the woman wonders. "Remember kids, if you spill a mess you should clean it up. Who left this here, really?? This is a safety hazard!"

Rubbing at her duff, the nurse keeps an eye on Ken from afar, lips pulled into a thin, pensive line across her face. "I'll be there in a second, May Lee. You can do it!" She needs to just find an opening she can exploit, that's all.

COMBATSYS: Kyoko focuses on her next action.

[         \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ////////////////////          ]
Ken              0/-------/-======|=======\-------\0           MayLee
                                  >  ///////////////////////       ]
                                  |====---\-------\0            Kyoko


May Lee falters for just a moment when she realizes she's alone up there with Ken, but it's fleeting; there's a lesson to be taught, after all. And fighting to be done, besides.

"And always remember," she says as she hops back half a step along the table, "to be brave, even when the odds are against you!" With that, she snaps her right leg out in a very wide roundhouse kick towards Ken's middle that's basically a feint, intended to get her shin caught against his body or moving through empty air so that she can move in, twist her body around and bend forward to thrust her left leg up towards the blonde master of Ansatsuken-ryuu's chin with enough force to knock him off of the table.

COMBATSYS: Ken dodges MayLee's Into Sky.

[         \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ///////////////////           ]
Ken              0/-------/-======|=======\-------\0           MayLee
                                  >  ///////////////////////       ]
                                  |====---\-------\0            Kyoko


While preparing himself to deal with the next volley of attacks, Ken shoots Kyoko a surreptitious glance to ensure she's actually okay, considering he just hucked her at the mess he made by landing on the craft services table. It's one thing to show the kids what not to do -- it's another to actually injure someone!

Still, this doesn't distract Ken enough to ruin his concentration on the active portions of the fight. When May Lee swings her kick at him, he drops into a crouch and rolls laterally, tumbling to freedom. "Okay, kids, now one thing you /never, ever/ want to do is --"

Ken motions to a P.A., who throws him something. It glints as the blonde catches it.

"-- run, or, worse, /fight/ with scissors. I know some of your favorites like Ch-- er, Kur-- uh, well, you know, sometimes people use knives, but they're trained fighters fighting trained fighters. /You/ little dudes aren't." Ken spreads the scissor blades. "So don't even /think/ about trying this, bro."

Ken Masters then throws a pair of scissors at May Lee. Pretty hard, too.

Wait a second..? Fight with scissors..?

"Who does that??" wonders Kyoko, watching as the blonde catches a pair in hand. Putting two and two together almost immediately, the woman looks horrified as he begins to reel his hand back. "Don't you think that's going a little f-far!? She could lose an eye!" But by the time the words leave her mouth, the scissors are already flying for May Lee.

"People who recklessly play with scissors should be punished, kids!"

Offering a light scoff, Kyoko moves into action. Charging right for Ken Masters--who hopefully has his back to the Justice High nurse--Kyoko uses all of her forward momentum to leap up and into him, attempting to slam her knee into his back before her leg snaps up and around, to then drop her heel into his skull. "HIYAH!"

COMBATSYS: MayLee blocks Ken's Small Random Weapon.

[        \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ////////////////              ]
Ken              0/-------/-======|=======\-------\1           MayLee
                                  >  //////////////////////        ]
                                  |==-----\-------\0            Kyoko


After her foot hits nothing at all, May Lee straightens, draws that leg up and begins to pirouette at impressive speeds on the other as Ken gives his speech. It's pretty much a miracle that the sole of her foot isn't bunching the tablecloth up all around it and spindling the fabric around her leg to send concessions flying in every direction and gift the Korean heroine with a new, badly stained dress.

At the end of Ken's speech, May Lee's spin suddenly stops, and the lights in the YFCC shine brighter for a few seconds. And strangely, they seem to be focused primarily on her, flaring brilliantly off of her goggles, Power Belt and teeth. Her red scarf flutters in the breeze that has suddenly begun wafting through the area despite the stilled air conditioning unit, and her smile is unwavering as she snaps her hand out to deflect the thrown scissors.

"People are not paper, kids! Remember that!" she exclaims before leaping towards Ken as if doing just this didn't get her punched in the mouth mere minutes ago. Her right hand is raised high and primed for being slammed down into the bridge of the Ansatsuken master's nose.

"CHOOOOOOPPU!"

COMBATSYS: Kyoko successfully hits Ken with Shouten Sekkai.
- Power hit! -

[             \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ///////////////               ]
Ken              0/-------/=======|=======\-------\1           MayLee
                                  >  //////////////////////        ]
                                  |====---\-------\0            Kyoko


COMBATSYS: Ken blocks MayLee's May Lee- Chop!.

[              \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ///////////////               ]
Ken              1/-------/=======|=======\=------\1           MayLee
                                  >  //////////////////////        ]
                                  |====---\-------\0            Kyoko


Ken's back eats stockinged knee -- and then his hair comically flops as Kyoko's heel smashes into the crown of his skull. Quickly regathering his wits, Ken still has a little bit of a dazed look in his eyes when he slams his forearm out to meet May Lee's chop, using his own momentum to nullify most of the impact. "Another good rule to follow, kids -- don't make women mad!"

Ken breaks away from the two, spinning into a defensive position and moving backward. He makes another signal to the P.A., who tosses him something else -- red, and plastic. "And kids, just because you see people doing crazy stuff with fire and ice /doesn't mean you can do it too/. These guys harnessed their chi such that they can express it as physical phenomena -- they /don't/ do it like I'm about to. So /don't/ even think of trying this, okay?" Ken then takes the red plastic thing and rips off its cap -- and pours and entire small jug of lighter fluid onto his fist and forearm.

Charging forward, Ken moves in toward Kyoko, flammable liquid wicking off of his fist as he leads with it. Just then, the spark of chi ignites it -- though it can't hurt Ken, the lighter fluid definitely makes the flame of his attack burn brighter and hotter than normal.

"SHOOORYUKEN!"

COMBATSYS: Kyoko fails to counter Shoryuken from Ken with Katayoku no Kamae.

[               \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ///////////////               ]
Ken              1/------=/=======|=======\=------\1           MayLee
                                  >  ////////////                  ]
                                  |=======\=------\1            Kyoko


Landing with a slight bend of her knees, Kyoko's bespectacled gaze snaps up as Ken dazedly braces himself against the young Korean's attack. Softly the woman purses her lips, a pensive expression momentarily crossing her features. So far things seem to be going in their favor.

SO FAR.

When he breaks away, Kyoko's eyes follow the American--especially when a red plastic item is tossed his way. A brow arcs slightly, black eyes half-lidded as she tries to make out just what he has in his possession. Is that..?

"What are--don't do that!"

Fwoosh. His arm ignites in fire.
"Are you crazy!?" the Justice High nurse wonders--especially when he charges light a freight train right for Kyoko. Stepping back, she attempts to brace her body, an arm snapping up as she tries to stop the incoming punch cold. Unfortunately, his offense proves greater (BY LEAPS AND BOUNDS) to her defensive technique; breaking through, she's struck fiercely in the jaw, her body rocketing upwards, her ascent marked by the flames on her coat before she lands on the nearby table--

And splinters it in two.

"O-oh god," she groans, rolling around on the floor. "I think...my kidney exploded."

May Lee is agog; a man just set his arm on fire for instructional purposes, and he doesn't appear to actually be hurt in any way. Master Kim would in no way, shape or form approve, and yet...

Well, she might be experimenting with copper wiring and foil later. Just to see what'll happen with her lightning chi.

A deep berath is drawn into the heroine's lungs, and then a loud ki-ai shouted; while attacking an enemy from behind isn't particularly honorable, she's no samurai, and it's kind of his own fault for turning his attention away.

Also, realistically, he'll probably notice and it won't matter. So there's that.

She springs from the table, pulling herself into a tightly wound ball of Justice-powered Taekwando that only unfolds when the back of Ken's head is neared. She drives her right leg down to try planting the sole of her sneaker right into the Ansatsuken master's skull, both to jar him and to give her some help in springing away from him to relative safety.

COMBATSYS: Ken dodges MayLee's Heavy Kick.

[               \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ////////////////              ]
Ken              1/------=/=======|=======\=------\1           MayLee
                                  >  ////////////                  ]
                                  |=======\=------\1            Kyoko


The secret, as special SNF guest Bill Nye explains later, is that one's own chi cannot actually harm them -- so while his chi 'fire' was sustained and even jacked up by the lighter fluid, it couldn't actually burn Ken's flesh. A child who sounds like Database from 'The Simpsons' stands up and attempts to refute this to Nye, who simply makes a curt motion to signal security to escort the child from the premises and presumably rough him up a bit in the parking lot.

Meanwhile, Ken thrusts his arm out as a P.A. blasts him with a fire extinguisher before he sets the sprinklers off. "C'mon, c'mon," Ken says, giving Kyoko a furtive glance to make sure her outfit is not still on fire / she is not dead. "Whoa!" Suddenly, Ken drops down, ducking out of the arc of May Lee's kick, avoiding serious skull damage while still getting his arm doused in chemical foam. Finally, he pulls away, taking another look to ensure Kyoko is indeed still alive. Then -- he faces the audience.

"Okay, kids, we've done a lot of dumb things so far. We've used scissors, we've played with fire, we've worn inappropriate fighting gear like lab coats, and we've broken all the furniture. But I did the worst thing of all, and I bet none of you ever even knew it." Ken folds his arms (one is all slimy and gross) and frowns as the kids chatter amongst themselves.

"That's right," Ken says. "I /didn't stretch/ before physical exertion. That's a great way to hurt yourself, and if you suddenly cramp up during sparring, it's a great way to hurt a friend, too, dudes. So remember -- whether you're going for a fun run, hitting the gym with your bros, or getting into a major fight -- always stretch. C'mon, stand up, and we'll do some together."

For the next couple minutes or until interrupted, Ken proceeds to lead the kids in some basic stretching routines. Occasionally globs of fire-extinguisher foam plop off of his arm, onto the floor.

COMBATSYS: Ken enters a meditative state.

[             \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ////////////////              ]
Ken              1/-----==/=======|=======\=------\1           MayLee
                                  >  ////////////                  ]
                                  |=======\=------\1            Kyoko


Finally managing to pull her poor abused and battered form from the splintered remains of a table, Kyoko dusts her now-singed coat off with a mildly disappointed expression. Really! This was a new coat, too! How dare he use it for an example for what children shouldn't do!

Giving her head a light shake, the woman steps forward as Ken addresses the children after avoiding May Lee's heroic efforts. Giving the young Korean a look to see whether she's holding up well enough, the nurse decides that while Ken's leading the children in exercise, she'll make the most of the perceived opening.

"What you shouldn't do," Justice's nurse explains to the children, "Is this!"

That's when the woman attempts to grab poor Masters by the collar of his gi and sweep his feet out from underneath him while pulling down, attempting to introduce his cranium to the hard floor of the YFCC lobby.

"Sneaking up on people can get someone hurt!"

May Lee's little fist coils as she begins to lunge to join the attack... but when it turns out to be Kyoko trying to manhandle the American World Warrior, she thinks better of it. She exhales a soft breath of determination and backs away from the fight to keep a close eye on Ken in particular from afar.

With her scarf fluttering, her eyes narrowed contemplatively and her grin a thousand kilowatts bright, she declares, "That's right! And it's /also/ important to remember to take your turn; sometimes, when people are playing together, there's just not enough room for /everyone/ to fit in. But if you're patient, and watchful, your chance will pop up for sure!"

COMBATSYS: MayLee focuses on her next action.

[             \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ////////////////              ]
Ken              1/-----==/=======|=======\=------\1           MayLee
                                  >  ///////////////               ]
                                  |=======\=------\1            Kyoko


COMBATSYS: Ken dodges Kyoko's Medium Throw.

[             \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ////////////////              ]
Ken              1/-----==/=======|=======\=------\1           MayLee
                                  >  ///////////////               ]
                                  |=======\=------\1            Kyoko


Kyoko goes for Ken's collar -- but astute readers will remember that because Ken's wife ironed it before he went out to fight, this is Ken's /lucky/ gi -- and as such, the American champion is able to wrench himself free of Kyoko's grip. "By the way, kids--"

Ken shoves Kyoko away, and then turns to the crowd. He winks, and then lunges forward at the chemistry teacher / chemical lover.

What happens then is basically terrible. Space and time seem to freeze for a moment as chi blares out from under Ken -- just before he launches into the air, flames whirling around his body, trying to uppercut Kyoko into the air with him. His chi is expressed so thoroughly that the air around them seems to explode, flame giving way to a column of yellow light, so bright that the kids have to put their hands over their eyes and look away.

Midway through this terrible onslaught, hit or miss, Ken cries out with impassioned fury: "DON'T--

"--HIT--

--GIRLS!"

COMBATSYS: Ken successfully hits Kyoko with Shinryuu Ken+.

[             \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ////////////////              ]
Ken              0/-------/------=|=======\=------\1           MayLee
                                  >  ///                           ]
                                  |>>>>>>>\>>>>>>>\2            Kyoko


Shoved away, the woman stumbles on her heels, black eyes wide as she tries to hurriedly recover her balance. Before she is even aware Ken explodes with chi and fire and who knows what else. Split-seconds later, the nurse is juggled viciously by the uppercut as Ken tells the kids not to hit girls. She's a woman, damn it!

Whatever she is, she's now a smoldering pile of broken flesh. Hitting the hard floor with a loud thud, Kyoko doesn't quite move after her descent. Instead, the woman lies there for a moment, trying to gauge whether or not she's in good enough condition to even TRY and get back onto her feet. Eventually, with a wet-sounding cough, the woman staggers to her feet.

"W-well, that's it for m-me," she manages hoarsely, one eye half swollen shut as she clutches at her throbbing jaw. "But...remember k-kids...you have to push yourself as hard as you can if you want to get anywhere in life. Don't give up!"

And to prove her point, Kyoko tries her hardest to punch Ken INTO THE AIR before she'll leap up, grab him, attempt to backbreak him over a knee, throw him upwards in some fearsome display of WOMANLY POWER and leap up to grab him before bodyslamming him into the ground.

Then? She'll PASS OUT on Ken Masters. Or possibly the floor.

COMBATSYS: Kyoko can no longer fight.

[             \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ////////////////              ]
Ken              0/-------/------=|=======\=------\1           MayLee


May Lee, true to her own advice, bides her time as Kyoko makes her valiant last ditch effort, and regardless of whether it hits or does not... she won't be in the way for too long. Which will leave just May Lee and Ken. Alone. Together. With a fight still running that she is now solely responsible for seeing through.

Her grin only widens; whether she wins or doesn't, this is a vital facet of what it means to be a heroine. She relishes the opportunity to at least /try/, no matter how it may actually go for her. Lightning cracks all along her right arm as she contemplates her circumstances, tracing the lines of her slim but deceptively well-toned musculature.

"And when someone sacrifices for you, remember... never cast it aside! Lightning Blow!"

With that exclaimation, she streaks across the Community Center floor, trying to strike directly through Ken in a burst of chi meant to leave his body charged with violent blue electricity, and to laeve her body upright on the other side of him.

COMBATSYS: Kyoko successfully hits Ken with Naraku e no Hodou.

[                   \\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ///////////////               ]
Ken              0/-------/----===|=======\-------\0           MayLee


COMBATSYS: Ken interrupts May Lee- Lightning Blow! from MayLee with Shoryuken.

[                       \\\\\\\  < >  //                            ]
Ken              0/-------/--=====|>>>>>>>\>>>>>>>\2           MayLee


Ken is indeed swept up in Hurricane Kyoko, beaten soundly with every ounce of strength left in the teacher's body -- folded, spindled, and mutilated, until he's slammed to the ground. At which point Kyoko lands on him, which revives Ken. It's... nice. Warm. Soft.

Later, Ken Masters and his wife Eliza have a mild argument.

For now, though, Ken just rolls Kyoko off of him, into the waiting and grabby hands of a couple P.A.s who don't have girlfriends anywhere near that hot or that unconscious. Ken starts to push himself up, in something akin to a three-point stance as he lifts off of the ground--

--and then he sees May Lee streaking toward him, fast as lightning, and he knows what he must do. "SHOOORYUKEN!" Ken cries, timing it just right -- rising into the air in a flaming burst of power.

Drifting back down to the ground, landing on callused feet, Ken glances around, slightly bewildered, and finally regains his wits. "Uh, one more thing, kids, that I did that you shouldn't do."

Ken pauses to cough. Kyoko's assault loosened some phlegm. It's gross. Finally clearing his throat, he continues: "Don't be cheap, dudes. C'mon. It's super lame. Mix up your style every now and then. Never hurt anyone -- well, except your opponents when you do it right."

Like a genki bullet, May Lee goes flying at a sharp angle away from Ken. If the roof were lower, she would probably be--no, wait, she still winds up making a hole in the roof and flying outside anyway. Later, perhaps because of the brief moment in which she reaches the apex of her rise and has some control over her descent, she'll probably look back on this moment fondly, forgetting the feeling of her jaw wanting to vacate her face to find some place less painful. It's a little like being in flight, and what heroine doesn'tw ant to fly?

This is not later, though. This is now, and there's /still/ a demonstration. So rather than reflect fondly as she begins to descend, May Lee takes control as best as she can and pulls her aching limbs up near to her chest. A flare or brilliant white chi alights on the buckle of her Power Belt as an outward demonstration of her focus and a harbinger of the far more invisible weaving of fire chi that she's doing her very best to manage around the Ansatsuken master's body.

"Ri--Ridpph..." she slurs as she sets her eyes on Ken lecturing below. Whether she hits or she doesn't, she's going to be doing quite a lot of damage to the YFCC's roof when this is all said and done, but that doesn't stop her right now; they must have been okay with this kind of thing happening when they agreed to this, right?

Right.

"KIIIIIIIIIICK!"

In a blur of red, white, and blue, May Lee descends, as sudden and potentially violent as a political upheavel spurred by the country whose colours she is incidentally composed of in flight. Her right leg is again extended towards Ken Masters' body with her left leg bent up and her arms both splayed out past her head. Should she succeed in driving her foot into - through, almost, if striking at something and ending up beyond it without any kind of penetration could be termed as such - she will land, wobble, then circle her hand around her chest before snapping it in and mumbling, "Bak--bak'sph," generating an explosion of fire chi around Ken's body.

And then she will collapse into an unconscious heap.

COMBATSYS: MayLee can no longer fight.

[                      \\\\\\\\  <
Ken              0/-------/--=====|


COMBATSYS: Ken dodges MayLee's May Lee- The End!.

[                      \\\\\\\\  <
Ken              0/-------/--=====|


"Jeez--!" Ken yells as he dives out of the way of May Lee's suicide-bombing, rolling away from her attempted chisplosion. Not out of fear for his life, but more because pieces of the roof are coming off, and falling. Ken catches a chunk, and the P.A.s are already ushering the kids out to prevent The Masters Corporation from getting hit with /another/ child-endangerment lawsuit.

"Uh, yeah, last lesson, little dudes," Ken says, making a face as the roof groans and cracks above. "Don't fight in places that are falling apart!"

Everyone beats a hasty retreat, the kids get an ice cream social, the unconscious are revived with an entirely separate ice cream social, and Ken Masters makes a serious metric fuckload of money.

COMBATSYS: Ken has ended the fight here.

Log created on 23:34:14 07/11/2009 by Kyoko, and last modified on 14:47:23 07/14/2009.