SNF 2017.06 - SNF: Brandon vs Alexis in Final Fantasy Forever

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Description: With the announcement that it will -not- be a straight remake of FF14, the Final Fantasy Forever release on the V-Gage vows to take the Final Fantasy universe into it's next logical extreme. The entire world of Final Fantasy takes place in this virtual world, bringing in characters and settings from all the previous games, in line with the commercial angle brought together with Taking on the hot new classes from the virtual reality wonderland of Final Fantasy Forever. Will you choose a fighter? A white mage? Oh you're picking Geomancer aren't you? While Violet Systems has had a legal issues with Detective Brandon Malone, to prove that there will be no bad blood, the V-Gage systems will not log any of his personal data, with a formal invitation for a match at a remote Ruined Temple, far away from any wireless communications. His opponent? The lead singer of Killasaurus Orphanage, Alexis Lovell. Both fighters be wired into the rich fantasy world of Final Fantasy with the V-Gage VR technology, fighting in parallel between the boundary of real and fantasy at the ruined temple. And naturally, both participants will of course get a hot new V-Gage to take home with them after their fight. But the winner gets something more: A year worth of -free- pizzas from the V-Gage HotOrder, ordered directly through the V-Gage to get pizzas delivered, without having to stop playing the game!

Brandon Malone didn't like Lee Chaolan. He didn't like Combot shenanigans he pulled in both the King of Fighters and the Rumble on the Streets tournament. And he especially didn't like that he was getting pulled away from his case because of an invite to a V-Gage trial. Brandon was close to telling Lee Chaolan to kiss his ass if not for two things. First, there were the assurances his data will not be saved. Second, there was the fact that he could take advantage of the flight to Japan to check out a similar case to the one he was investigating in Metro City.

After making sure he signs the required contracts and makes sure there's the additional boiler plate about his data not being saved, he strap him in and put on his VR goggles, he looks down and sees himself wearing a blue long coat and a straw hat. He raises and eyebrow and brings up the menu HUD and looks at stats. It ends up telling him he's a Black Mage/Gambler multiclass. He scrolls through his spells and looks at his limit break information and then he heads towards the ruins of a once grand temple.

He then waits for his opponent. All of his flags are set to PVP okay. He's ready to go.

The announcement that Killasaurus Orphanage frontgirl (and recent Violet fashionista, much to their chagrin) Alexis 'Killasaurus Lex' Lovell will be showing off the V-Gage's Final Fantasy Forever in a live gameplay demonstration are proving at least 87 percent true (we'll get to the other thirteen percent later). She's even dressed in her 'Violet Systems Official Corporate Whore' t-shirt as she waits around in the demonstration area for her V-Gage (and the show) to be ready. One of the technicians walks over to hand her the goggles.

"Alright, ma'am. So, all you have to do is strap these things on, then hit this button here -"

"Yeah, yeah - wait, Steve?" Alexis looks up at the tech guy with bewildered recognition.

"Oh, hey, Lexi, long time no see, eh!" Steve smiles. "Say, I should let the guys know you're doing the demo! They're gonna come over after the Uncharted panel's done."

"Wait, they're here?" Alexis' deer-in-headlights look deepens. Panicking, she hesitates for a moment. Then, abruptly, she pulls the goggles on and activates them.

"...Oh. I guess this'll be awkward, eh?" Steve says with a frown, after a moment's pause.

Inside the game world, Alexis' avatar's name, Killasaurus Lex, appears before the avatar itself starts to fade into view. In-game, she looks much like her real-life persona, with shoulder-length brown hair and aquamarine-coloured eyes. On the other hand, she looks... arguably more stereotypically Canadian than her real self, given her in-game attire. She's clad in asymmetrical armour comprised mostly of a hardened leather cuirass, boots and bracers and a leather skirt over tights, all heavily trimmed with fur. On her head and shoulders, she's wearing a bear skin cloak.

"The frig?" Alexis wonders as she looks around, then down at herself, examining her armour. "How the hell am I supposed to check my build?"

<There's an icon up at the top right, reach up and touch it!> Steve's voice replies helpfully in her ear.

"Oh godda- I mean, thanks, Steve," Alexis says, before pulling up her information.

"Wait. Seriously?! You've got to be kidding! Who the hell built me as a Berserker/Bard? Is that some kind of f***ing joke?!"

<I honestly have no idea, Lexi! Just go with it, eh? I mean, it's kind of appropriate, right?>

"ARE YOU SAYING I HAVE AN ANGER PROBLEM?!" Alexis seethes as she shakes a virtual fist at the sky. "AND HOW THE F*** DO I EQUIP A WEAPON?!"

<Uh, move your hand up and down,> Steve replies.

Killasaurus Lex's hand jerks up and down a couple of times in front of her. "It's not working!"

<I mean, it's kind of more of a down-and-up->

"Nevermind got it," Alexis says as a steel-headed battleaxe that's as tall as she is appears in her hand. "Of course you had to give me the axe," she says flatly.


"Don't you dare dot dot dot me, Steve. How do I set myself PVP-okay?" Alexis says as she rests the base of her axe's haft on the ruined temple's floor.

<I'll do that for you, just try and get used to your class abilities real quick, eh?>

The bard-barian turns to Brandon's avatar and sticks out her tongue. "Hey, what's up, scrub! You ready to get rekt? Hahaha! One-vee-one me, bro!" She poses mockingly as she challenges the magical gambler, twirling her axe easily over her head before spinning around and doing a little dance.

<Oh, good. I see you found the barbarian's taunt ability.>

"The what now?" Lex raises an eyebrow.

COMBATSYS: Alexis has started a fight here.

[\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  <
Alexis           0/-------/-------|

COMBATSYS: Brandon has joined the fight here.

[\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  //////////////////////////////]
Alexis           0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0          Brandon

While Alexis is getting used to her load out Brandon was getting used to his weapon lists. "Rods... No. Staves... No. Books... Nah... Not my style. Coins... Maybe as a backup weapon. Okay now Cards. This build makes a little more sense... Hmmm. Doesn't seem like this class combination isn't actually all that synergistic. I bet that bastard is messing with me."

His avatar pulls out a deck of cards and he shuffles it. Unfortunately the cards don't actually have faces since it's still in testing right now. As he shuffles he begins to hear the sounds of his opponent talking to someone else. He's too focused on getting used to the movement and spell casting commands to pay her any mind until all of a sudden he has a taunt status on his HUD and he moves towards the dancing bard-zerker not of his own volition.

"Ugh statuses that take control from the player."

He sees that all of his spells are grayed out and he frowns as he's forced to perform a basic attack. The deck disappears and all that's left in his hand is a card that he moves forward and slashes with it hoping that landing an attack will break him free and allow him to gain distance. Neither gamblers nor Black Mages are great at close range.

COMBATSYS: Brandon successfully hits Alexis with Small Random Weapon.
- Power hit! -

[    \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  //////////////////////////////]
Alexis           0/-------/-----==|-------\-------\0          Brandon

As Brandon's avatar rushes hers with the card in hand, Alexis' look continues to be a confused one. Her hands grip the axe's haft and heft it in a defensive posture as the card caster charges. "Whoa, hey! Let's save the autographs for after the match, eh - GAH!"

The card strikes her avatar in the one traditionally exposed vital area for female game characters - in the chest. The bardzerker staggers backward as she's virtually rocked by the blow in a manner that seems disproportionate for the aesthetics of the attack.

"What the?! Aren't you a caster class? How'd you do that much with an auto? That's so oh-pee!"

The word 'Berserk!' appears in floating letters over Alexis' avatar's head as her skin switches to a red palette. "Let's try this! Burning Charge!"

Lex suddenly zips forward, locking onto Brandon's avatar as he tries to retreat, her body covered in virtual flame as she flies toward him, aiming to bowl him over with a shoulder check.

COMBATSYS: Alexis successfully hits Brandon with Aggressive Strike.

[    \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  //////////////////////////    ]
Alexis           0/-------/----===|==-----\-------\0          Brandon

Brandon looks just as confused. He didn't expect to hit that hard. After all that was a card attack without being able to bolster it through spells or abilities. He shrugs at a lost for how to explain it. Until he realizes that his secondary class isn't a caster class.

"Gambler gets high crit multipliers apparently."

Brandon realizes he's not a dual wield class nor one with any particular specialties towards defense and so his options are avoid or get hit. He gets hit by the burning shoulder charge and doesn't get bowled over, he gets sent flying until he slides to a halt on the ground.

There's a blessing that comes from getting launched. It gives him room to kite a bit as he tries to buy enough time to cast Phantom Roll on himself. His body suddenly glows and then he quickly follows it up by casting Blizzara on the Bardzerker.

"Chill out!"

COMBATSYS: Alexis Toughs Out Brandon's I - The Magician!

[       \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  /////////////////////////     ]
Alexis           0/-------/=======|==-----\-------\0          Brandon

As Brandon finishes his spell, a layer of rime starts to rapidly spread over the warrior of the great white north, coating her in cold before the frost starts to rapidly steam off of her, the flames dissipating and leaving her armor thoroughly dampened. 'Elemental Resistance' appears over her head as she stops to brush the last bits of ice off of her armor, and the bear's head she's wearing vanishes from view. She shakes her avatar's wet hair out.

"Ah, found the 'hide helmet' toggle," she says with a confident grin as her health bar updates with a small decrease. She quickly scrolls through her list to her Bard abilities. "Why are all of these for running away?... Aha. Here we go!"

The bardbarian gives Brandon a bizarrely cutesy wink as she strikes a Vogue pose, one hand on her hip as she leans forward. A large pink heart flies from her with the sound of a very girlish giggle. The words 'Dazzling Charm' pop up to identify the attack, intended to daze the gambler-mage unless he can resist or avoid the effect.

Once the charm effect has been activated, Killasaurus Lex runs up toward Brandon with the words 'Big Chocobo's Wild Rush' over her head. She'll try and run head-first into his stomach to unbalance him before grabbing and shoulder throwing him to the ground, before before jumping up and crashing down onto him backside-first if the attack should succeed.

"That giggle was /not/ me! she'll insist as the assault ensues. "It was a sound effect!"

COMBATSYS: Brandon blocks Alexis' Drop D.

[         \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  //////////////////////        ]
Alexis           0/-------/=======|====---\-------\0          Brandon

The cutesy giggle makes the gambler-mage inwardly shudder due to it not lining up with what little he can establish about her personality based off of first impressions. Externally, however, he just raises an eyebrow under that straw hat. Honestly, he probably would've preferred the red mage's hat. With that heart coming in he doesn't really have time to address that but thankfully a status resist on one of his items kick in. Status Resistance appears above his head.

Resisting the status also came with the benefit of being able to cast Barrier.

"Wait... Since when were Black Mages able to cast Barrier?"

The Magic-Gambler isn't given more time to ponder the weirdness in this build as the Bardbarian charges in, hitting him and sliding him backwards and away from the attempt to grab and slam him as a translucent barrier appears on impact between them.

There wasn't a lot of room between them so he casts a Grease spell right under Alexis to cause her to slip and fall and then following up with Firaga summoning a trio of fiery rocks to smash down upon the Bardzerker.

COMBATSYS: Alexis endures Brandon's XI - Justice.

[              \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  /////////////////////         ]
Alexis           1/--=====/=======|=====--\-------\0          Brandon

"Wait, what? Barrier?" Alexis wonders aloud when the Magic-Gambler is sent sliding out of her reach, a message popping up to indicate that the damage from her attack was reduced. "Are we using active items here or something? Dammit!"

<You should have an item belt available, Lexi! You just have to ->

"I can figure it out!" Alexis retorts as she accesses her inventory screen. "So I probably just have to tap on the belt a couple of times..."

Rather abruptly, the fur-and-leather kilt around Alexis' waist and covering her thighs disappears, leaving a subligar that matches her cuirass along with quite a bit of leg visible. "...Dammit," Alexis mutters under her breath as a puddle of grease suddenly starts to form under her feet on the temple floor. "...Gah!"

The bardzerker's boots slide out from under her as she loses her balance and land on her back in the grease pool, her avatar becoming slick and shiny as 'Greased Up!' 'Knocked Down!' appear over her collapsed form. As she's standing up, the flaming rocks pop into virtual existence over her head. She only has time to glance upward and swear before they crash down. 'On Fire!'

"Raaaagh!" K-Lex rises defiantly to her feet as her health bar dwindles to the yellow zone, the words 'Shake It Off' appearing over her head as the avatar's hair whips back and forth, the flames dissipating and grease splattering everywhere as the knockdown effect is removed.

"Alright, time to get real!" Alexis says as she hefts her axe. 'Onslaught' appears over her head as she flies forward, brandishing the weapon as it sparks with electricity. She spins fully around as she aims to slam the head of the axe sidelong into Brandon's avatar!

Luckily, given the nature of the game, it's unlikely to actually cut him in half...

COMBATSYS: Alexis successfully hits Brandon with Tribute to Townshend EX.

[              \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  //////////////                ]
Alexis           0/-------/--=====|=======\=------\1          Brandon

The cardmage was mentally patting himself on the back for being able to quickly get off that combination of spells. This was a mistake because soon after, he sees her shake off the conditions as quickly as they were applied. He doesn't have any time to do anything but let a horrified expression appear on his face before the electrified axe connects with his body

Thankfully his body isn't cleaved in two. He however spends a moment twitching. Somehow he didn't get knocked away. He then pulls a card out of the air and casts Magic Weapon: Flare Blade. The card glows a bright fiery orange(it's not a fire elemental attack btw.) as he slashes with it upwards.

"Try some of this!"

COMBATSYS: Brandon successfully hits Alexis with VIII - Strength.

[                    \\\\\\\\\\  < >  /////////////                 ]
Alexis           1/---====/=======|=======\===----\1          Brandon

The non-elemental blow from Brandon's card attack strikes Lex with tremendous power, sending the dino-themed warrior straight into the red zone as the attack exploits her elemental weakness to non-elemental attacks. "Holy crap," Alexis wheezes as she watches her health bar rapidly dwindling. "Crapcrapcrap," she continues to mutter rapidfire as she explores her virtual options. One in particular stands out, highlighted as it is to denote the fact that it's been unlocked by the circumstances of battle.

The words 'Animal Fury' appear over Alexis' head as the axe in her hands disappears into hammerspace, and her avatar leans forward and pants heavily as the modifier takes effect. Icons flash randomly across her HUD before two come up flashing: 'Rock Throw' and 'Aevis Dive.'

"Oh dammit, it's one of /those/ abilites?" she groans, before following the actions indicated to invoke the second option. Her avatar takes a run and leaps into the air, spreading her arms as she flies toward Brandon's avatar with a battlecry of "CAAAWWW!"

"Sound effect" is quickly yelled before she'll either crash into Brandon's avatar chest-to-chest or fly past if he manages to avoid her. If she does collide, her avatar will try and drive Brandon into the temple floor with a blast of air that would scatter debris.

COMBATSYS: Brandon dodges Alexis' Stage Dive.

[                     \\\\\\\\\  < >  /////////////                 ]
Alexis           1/----===/=======|=======\===----\1          Brandon

When a massive axe disappears, it's understandable why someone would be suspicious. If a weapon is being discarded, especially after something like that landing, something horrible is coming his way. Something horrible that Black Mages, even with the slight improvement on health from taking on the Gambler class, are not built to take that kind of punishment. He does what any self-respecting cloth armored class would do... Run.

As the Bardzerker takes flight above him he just barely stays ahead and doesn't stop running until her feet hit the ground. At that point, he skids to a halt as he spins around. There's an elaborate animation of hand gestures before he shoves his palms towards Alexis.

At first it's calm and then pale green sparkles and starbursts fly from his hands. After that, all hell breaks loose. The entire area gets washed over by a glowing green fog as high powered, non-elemental magic begins to batter K-Lex.

Above Brandon's ridiculous looking straw hat is text saying Ultima.

COMBATSYS: Brandon successfully hits Alexis with 0 - The Fool.
- Power hit! -

[                                < >  /////////////                 ]
Alexis           2/<<<<<<</<<<<<<<|-------\-------\0          Brandon

Alexis' avatar is barreling down on Brandon's once again as he starts to draw his spell in the air. "Ugh, shoulda been a dee-kay," she grunts as she sees the threat of impending magical destruction forming above her and opts to continue her reckless charge across the stones. She closes her eyes instinctively before realising that it's not actually that helpful a tactic.

When she opens them again, her goggles are flashing red with various warnings. Her health bar is critically low. A message is popping up in a corner saying something about an attempt to retreat being invalid, repeatedly. There's a timed status effect called 'Undying Rage' ticking down - presumably the only reason she hasn't been defeated yet. She tries to keep pushing forward, but something is wrong with her avatar.

"Oh, come on," she growls as her avatar's body twitches with each attempt to move while her Undying Rage passive ticks down. In desperation, she checks her highlighted ability options - '1,000 Needles' and 'Beatdown.' She checks Brandon's health meter. It's over 1,000.

"Ugh, can't use that one," she says.

Suddenly she's hurtling into the air again with the words 'Behemoth Mode' floating over her head, her avatar sporting the translucent image of a large beast-man over it.


She falls like a comet, aiming to crash into Brandon, bowl him over and pin him down before delivering a series of monstrous punches to the gambling wizard!

Those warning messages still keep popping up, though...

COMBATSYS: Alexis has reached second wind!

[                       \\\\\\\  < >  /////////////                 ]
Alexis           0/-------/---<<<<|-------\-------\0          Brandon

COMBATSYS: Brandon endures Alexis' Beatdown in Three Four.

[                       \\\\\\\  < >  ////                          ]
Alexis           0/-------/---<<<<|=====--\-------\0          Brandon

When Alexis takes to the air, the gambler mage looks up in awe and then in horror as the entire plays out like a Looney Tunes cartoon. The shadow above him becomes darker and darker. All of a sudden he has an urge to hold a sign that says, 'Help!'


The card mage holds up a finger as if he was about to get up but he stays down. His status is downed. He has no phoenix down. No phoenix summons or life spells to bring him back to his feet. What does he have? Something he didn't even realize he had. A Tonberry.

If Alexis is not paying attention, a slow walking, small, green, bipedal, lamp carrying, knife wielding, creature clad in a gray hooded cloak will stab her with the knife and disappear.

COMBATSYS: Brandon can no longer fight.

[                       \\\\\\\  <
Alexis           0/-------/---<<<<|

COMBATSYS: Alexis fails to interrupt IX - Hermit from Brandon with Hitting the High Note.

COMBATSYS: Alexis can no longer fight.

The battle-bard is triumphant! K-Lex's health bar shoots up from the brink of defeat as Brandon falls, triggering her Bloodbath buff to bring her HP up above zero, negating both the Bardic Cowardice passive compelling her to try and flee and the Undying Rage passive compelling her to attack and averting a potential game-breaking bug. She lets out a sigh of relief as the projection of the Behemoth around her disappears, and instinctively raises a hand to brush her hair out of her face even though she's made of pixels.

<Lexi! Look out!>

"Wha - Kim? How are you on this channel?" Disregarding her confusion at hearing her bandmate's (?) voice, Alexis turns her head to see the creature slowly approaching.

<If you attack it, it'll deal damage based on your total monster kills minus your player kills!>

"Well, that's fine! This is a beta! My mob kills are zero!" With that, Alexis resolves to drive an uppercut between the Tonberry's legs. The lantern intercepts the attack, and the word 'Blocked' appears above the creature.

'Everybody's Grudge: 99,999'


And with an error in a damage formula, K-Lex is one-shotted, convulsing before falling to the temple floor with her health pool depleted.

"Son of a bitch!" Alexis yells as her avatar lies motionless.

<So does this mean the Tonberry gets all that pizza?>

Alexis falls back in her chair with a groan with the goggles still on, looking strikingly similar to the position her avatar is stuck in.

Meanwhile, in his chair, Brandon is even more confused. How did he manage to summon a Tonberry while he was down? How did he manage to summon a Tonberry, period. Nothing about this makes sense.

As for the pizza, he's personally hoping for the interpretation of both of them getting free pizza for a year. A vindictive streak was running through the detective and he wanted Lee Chaolan to lose as much money as possible.

Log created on 20:21:10 06/18/2017 by Alexis, and last modified on 12:03:29 06/20/2017.