Description: Billy Kane must be scared of Korean girls. He is nowhere to be found for his SNF and it seems it is just pure luck that the oil baron Hakan is around to offer his assistance into making the scheduled fight happen. Of course now Faolan is moved to be support given how dangerous one Juri Han can be. Can an Ikari warrior and oil baron take down the spider of Shadaloo? *Hint: No* (Winner: Juri)
Exhibition fights aren't exactly the sort of thing that Shadaloo members are encouraged to be a part of. Scratch that, it isn't the sort of thing that JURI is encouraged to be a part of. Having visible members of your organization demonstrate their strength in perfectly illegal street fights are just one of the many ways you can inspire fear in your rivals. However, it seems that Juri was allowed to be the butt of one too many jokes ... and then there was that damnable dog.
Still, Juri gets bored. And when Juri gets bored there's no telling what she is going to do, massive chin with angry man attached be damned.
It seems though that the SNF executives remember Juri and her ... let's just say, capability of sudden and shocking amounts of gratuitous violence. So they scheduled her fight in the middle of a military base. Fine. It wouldn't be the first time she tried to take on an entire installation. It's also one of the least reasons for her current degree of annoyance and frustration. You see, the fight was supposed to be underway by now. Someone was supposed to show up that she was supposed to be kicking in the face. Did they forfeit? Got cold feet? Perhaps. The reason doesn't matter, because regardless of it the Shadaloo Spider is left crouched in the dirt surrounded by numerous people who wish to show her just how many unfriendly ends their rifles have.
"What the fuck is this?" She begins, with a heavy groan, rising to her feet with intentional languor. "I don't give two shits about rules, but this whole 'not showing up on time' shit is really starting to get old." She glances toward the numerous cameras situated nearby, all being positioned to capture the action and instead simply capturing a pissed off murderer glaring for the folks at home. A sideways glance is offered to one of the nearby soldiers. "I came here for a good time..." a cruel grin spills over her pale lips, "... and I intend to have it."
You might imagine the camera crew's surprise when Juri came over and stole their camera. You might imagine the sort of premium they have to pay for equipment insurance filming fights as they do. Q.E.D.: Juri taking the camera and flinging it violently into the crowd of soldiers. "C'mon! Army of one guys, right? Certainly one of you big tough men can show a girl a good time. Who wants to try it huh?" A menacing purr, "Who wants to try and break me?"
"I will accept that challenge!"
The heavily-accented concent comes from some ways behind Juri, the voice's owner stepping out of one of the many military-grade escort vehicles running about the base for this event. Hakan steps out of the 'car', if indeed it can be called that. It's a tiny tank, and even with its low, squat suspension and its enormouse tires, it still rocks back and forth in a vain attempt to find equilibrium after he steps out. Three girls, tiny little things, rush out of the vehicle with high-pitched peals, one of them managing to latch onto his leg while he picks the others up by the backs of their little dresses.
"Ah ah ah! My little darlings, you must watch with mommy, that is the rule!" He drops one child, extending his free leg so that she can slide down it. Just before reaching his foot, the red-skinned Turk flips it up like some sort of pinball flipper, bouncing the child into the car. The second and third are returned in the same fashion before the door is slammed closed and the vehicle drives away before they can escape again. The father waves them gone, then cups his hands beside his mouth and shouts: "BE GOOD, MY PRETTIES! DADDY WILL BE DONE SOON!"
It's at this time that he's ushered toward the 'ring', or whatever is set up. Barefooted, he leaves visible prints in the ground not composed of pavement as he's herded to his starting area. "So, what is it today? Some great wrestler? A submission max? Perhaps a bit of--" He pauses, looking at Juri, all crouched down and angry. He deflates visibly, puffing out a sigh as his arms fall slack at his sides. "Another girl? Seriously? What has happened to all the men of the world?"
The no show of one Billy Kane has left the officials running all over the place to find a proper replacement. What they did have was an oil baron known to enjoy a good fight here on hand to talk into fighting the dangerous Juri. Of course they are a bit unsure if Hakan could be as dangerous as Billy so things were switched further. "I get to keep the gun, right?" comes the accented voice of the Irish Ikari warrior known as Faolan. When he found out he gets to have some fun with a gun he was even willing to use both hands to hold it.
Just in case his bata would get jealous he does still have it strapped to his back as he hefts up the minigun that was given to him. "Well all right. If I get to still use it I suppose it is okay." he comments as he starts stalking forward with a wide grin on his face. Maybe he can talk them into letting him take this back to the base once this is all said and done. That or he might need to talk Heidern into buying some for the boys to have fun with. The latter is going to be alot tougher and more painful for sure.
He steps forward to stand not far from Hakan and he reaches up to tug on the bill of his cap. "Hey, big red." he comments and then sort of motions towards Juri. "This lady is supposed to be pretty dangerous so I guess they are having me give you some support, fellah." Of course Juri isn't going to be underestimated. He doesn't feel bad if he gets to shoot her. He saw some video in the past. "Hey, miss! Where is that dog outfit of yers? I think the kids loved it!"
An answer for Juri comes faster than she expected, though not exactly from the place she was expecting. She was expecting one of those tough, burly men in the audience to come forward and try their luck. Of course she already knew it was unlikely any of them would be strong enough to face her, at least alone, but it'd be more fun than sitting around and watching ants crawl across the pavement. Instead what she has is ...
What the fuck is that?!
Two violet eyes widen considerably when Juri looks at Hakan. Of course there are oddballs all over the world, and some are odder than most, but where did they find this guy?! In line for super hero tryouts? What is he, the Indefagitable Fever Blister? Istanbul Red? Regardless, Hakan's choice of words regarding the lack of male challengers draws a slight smirk from Juri, "I was just wondering the same thing." she purrs.
Soon Faolan arrives, minigun in tow. A minigun typically fired from a truck mount, no less. Juri clicks her tongue softly and her eyes narrow a bit, "Wow. They must be scraping the barrel now. I guess they really expect something like that would stop someone like me?" A soft chuckle escapes her lips. "Not a chance, really..."
Meanwhile, Hakan and Faolan are trading words. In particular it is Faolan informing Hakan that this girl is big trouble in a small package. The Taekwondoka takes this moment to stretch a leg behind her ba---
Dog Outfit.
Initially there is no verbal response, nothing to clue Faolan in as to what is about to come. Instead there is only a purple flash of energy followed with Juri seemingly /appearing/ out of nowhere in front of Faolan's face prepared to deliver a highly painful kick to his sternum with the heel of her right foot! Canny observers will note that she didn't teleport, but instead ran all the way. More savvy observers will further understand that this built up momentum will only do one thing:
Make the potential strike more painful.
COMBATSYS: Juri has started a fight here on the right meter side.
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Juri 0/-------/------=|
COMBATSYS: Hakan has joined the fight here on the left meter side.
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Hakan 0/-------/-------|=------\-------\0 Juri
COMBATSYS: Faolan has joined the fight here on the left meter side.
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Faolan 0/-------/-------|=------\-------\0 Juri
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Hakan 0/-------/-------|
COMBATSYS: Faolan equips Minigun.
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Faolan [E] 0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0 Juri
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Hakan 0/-------/-------|
Hakan looks back and forth between Juri and Faolan. It seems that the two have some history between them! So entranced is he by the back-and-forth, which really is just sort of a -and-forth on Faolan's part, that Juri's swiftness catches him wholly by surprise! His frame is still relaxed, his hands hanging low, and his attention upon the Ikari and his...
"Is that even leg--"
That's as far as he gets before Juri comes screaming past! Is it a missile? Had somebody launched a particularly angry bird at the Irishman? IS IT THE CATHOLICS?! It may very well take far too long for the brilliantly-colored Turk to get his considerable bulk in gear in time to have his chest crushed by angry little emo feet, but by god, does he try! Like a mountain pulling free from its moorings, his frame looms over Juri to the point that he blocks out most of the sunlight, shading her in darkness as his trunk-like arms strive to shove her down like a misbehaving doormat.
And if she's too focused on her hate crime to get away, the Spider's delicate bits are going to discover just how two Turkish men say hello.
COMBATSYS: Juri successfully hits Faolan with Heel Kick.
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Faolan [E] 0/-------/=======|=------\-------\0 Juri
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Hakan 0/-------/-------|
There is no real history between the pair other than the viewing of a certain humiliating fight that involved the Korean. It seems that it is still plenty of fresh in Juri's mind given the way she locks onto Faolan and turns into a human missle. He does have such a way with women it would seem. Too bad it isn't in the way he would prefer since he rather other things to happen other than being kicked right in the sternum $%by an angry Korean girl.
It is a powerful blow he starts to step into thinking she can't have that much force behind her kick. He is dead wrong. It slams into him and he goes stumbling back and the gun is set flailing as he manages to not pull the trigger. It still leaves several officals and military personel diving for cover in case bullets start flying. They may not be fatal, but that doesn't mean anyone wants to get hit by them.
"Guess you didn't get dinner that night." he says while holding his nose in one hand and sounding a bit nasaly when he speaks for a moment at least. He lowers the hand and gets a good grip on the minigun. While Hakan might be greeting her in a nicer way, Faolan is more than content in greeting the girl with bullets as he unleashes a barrage in her direction be it she is sent sailing away by Hakan or she manages to elude him.
COMBATSYS: Juri dodges Hakan's Hakan Throw.
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Faolan [E] 0/-------/=======|=------\-------\0 Juri
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Hakan 0/-------/-------|
COMBATSYS: Juri interrupts M134 Minigun from Faolan with Senpusha.
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Faolan [E] 2/<<<<<<</<<<<<<<|===----\-------\0 Juri
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Hakan 0/-------/-------|
Perhaps if Faolan watched the videos then he should have noticed the sort of devastation she was capable of dealing out. Not only that, but the overall reaction she had to the entire episode. Instead he said the wrong thing, and now he had to pay. Juri can feel with an ecstatic thrill as her foot impacts Faolan's chest with enough force that he is sent stumbling backwards. She revels in the sensation of bones cracking underneath her strike, but she isn't done yet.
As Hakan approaches, to try and grab diminuitive fighter, he finds out just what a slippery tart she can be. Juri's delicate bits are unmolested. Tragically so, as far as the TV audience are concerned: There is a not-so-insignificant fanbase for her on the basis that Scary Psychopath Women are Hot. Luckily they will be thrilled to watch as Juri walks through a hail of rubberized bullets and toward her true prey.
The rounds are nonlethal, but that doesn't stop the fact that an M134 spits out over 4,000 rounds per minute. That's over 66 rounds per SECOND. And while Faolan is far too off-balance focus all of those rounds on Juri's frame, numerous stinging welts and bloody slashes form along her pale flesh. She winces in pain, guarding her right eye with one hand as a slight purple glow gathers in the left.
Another purple flash, and this time Juri's body spins in a beautiful cartwheel over the surface of the ground! One after another she delivers painful looking kicks to Faolan's body, each accompanied by a swirling cloud of purple energy. When the attack is done she lands in a crouching position and smirks. Bullet holes are visible in the loose fabric of her pants, and one of her iconic hair horns was knocked loose in the fray. She peers at Faolan through the waterfall of black tresses, "Too bad, broke one already..."
Her gaze then turns toward Hakan and she smiles a broad, cruel smile, "Well, now I'm all warmed up. Hope your wife doesn't mind sloppy seconds after I'm through with you!"
Quite comically, Hakan's arms curve inward past each other as he tries to grip Juri. She's just too quick! Too slippery!
Wait. Too slippery?! There is no one more slippery than Hakan!
Still, for now, that's not what he's worried about. "What was--where--what?!" He's still puzzling over what happened to pay Faolan much mind. One second, the two men were together and Juri was over there. The next, she's flown PAST him and the Irishman in shooting a freaking MINIGUN in his direction! The man lifts his arms, sucks in his stomach, and tries to make himself as small a target as possible just in case any stray rubbers go flying. The few that DO hit him simply... They just... Really, it's ridiculous. Though they touch against his skin, their trajectory just changes outright as if guided by his permanently slick abs. They go flying off into the ground. A single yell and subsequent groan belies the collateral damage.
"Hey, you should be careful with that thing! Somebody could get very hurt!" He turns to face the two fighters, already reaching back. From...SOMEWHERE, he pulls out a slender glass bottle, pulling the cork free with an audible pop. Amazingly to all but those that have actually SEEN him before, he lifts the bottle up and upturns it over his head. A glistening slick of olive oil smatters onto his head, running down face and arms and chest until, with a few shakes, it's empty. A brush of his enormous hands spreads the oil until he's glimmering--shining, even! And he simply stares at the Spider.
"What? What does that even mean? A second what?"
COMBATSYS: Hakan gathers his will.
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Faolan [E] 2/<<<<<<</<<<<<<<|===----\-------\0 Juri
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Hakan 0/-------/---====|
That first hit? Yeah, that hurt like a bitch. He has taken worse, but that doesn't make things hurt less in this case. And if he thought that was bad it only gets worse. In fact when he sees Juri sailing through that hail of bullets come towards him there is one thing he can't remember if he actually muttered or just thought when he saw her 'Oh fuckbees'.
That is when mass amounts of main are unleashed on him once again and any attempt to ease the pain by using that gun to protect himself are are brushed aside by the fact her kicks just shatter the freaking thing into pieces before also shattering bones and sending Faolan flying away and into a group of soldiers taht were watching.
Even while laying there and unsure if he wants to move he just has a thought going through his head. That bitch done broke his gun. "Oh you cuntwaffle!" he shouts out and he starts to try to get to his feet. The gun is forgotten since it is a shattered mess that can't be fired. Instead he is reaching for his bata even as both it and his hand are crackling with energy.
He staggers out of the people that were gathered around him and he holds his bata out in front of him with a large mass of black energy crackling about it. "I have seen twenty dollar whores tougher than you." he gloats despite the fact he looks ready to just sort of topple over at any moment from all the broken bones. He starts to thrust the bata forward a few times creating small little orbs of energy that start to float about and sail towards Juri. They all start to merge into one large mass that intends on rolling over the Korean once they reach her, though.
COMBATSYS: Juri blocks Faolan's Black Friday Rule EX.
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Faolan [E] 1/-------/=======|=======\-------\1 Juri
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Hakan 0/-------/---====|
Truth be told, Hakan is barely a blip on Juri's radar outside of this ring. After all, while quite an impressive fighter in his own right Hakan simply isn't up on the level that Juri is. And for a woman that crave the challenge, the thrill of a tough fight ... well she has more important things to pay attention to. So you can only imagine the expression on her face, the thoughts rolling through her mind as she watches Hakan take out a bottle of some sort and start pouring oil all over himself.
Another click of her tongue, and Juri gives a soft purr, "No no no... your got it all wrong, but I'm glad you're so eager!!!" Her irises tighten considerably as she prepares to unleash her assau--
"A second what?"
Juri literally falls face first to the ground with a resounding thud! She shakes her head vigorously while standing up, and rubs her nose with one hand, "Well ... /that/ was embarrassing... Hm?" A soft chuckle escapes from the Spider's lips at a notification from her left eye, "Well well, it looks like he wasn't done left after all..." As the black orbs swirl and merge together into one mass, rolling towards Juri, she turns to face it head on and holds out her hand to block the incoming attack with a wall of psycho energy! The strange black energy rapidly disperses and only washes over her body with a fraction of its intended force. As she clenches her outstretched hand Juri's menacing purr can be heard.
"Both of you are going to have to try much harder if you're going to actually break me!"
Surprisingly, Juri does not actually go after Faolan again though. Twenty dollar whore remark be damned! Instead she returns her gaze upon Hakan and exclaims, "Let me SHOW you what I mean!" Her right leg lifts off the ground to deliver a painful looking kick aimed at Hakan's right shoulder, followed by her leaping off the ground to try and deliver an equally painful strike to his solar plexus! Time will tell, though, if she will hit ... and if the resulting oil will cause her to slip and fall after landing.
COMBATSYS: Hakan endures Juri's Change-Up Kick.
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Faolan [E] 1/-------/=======|=======\-------\1 Juri
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Hakan 1/-------/=======|
Beating upon Hakan is like beating upon a mountain. A very...very, leaky mountain. Whatever blows that Juri lands upon him are rewarded with generous smatterings of oil, globs flying forth in protection of their red-skinned master. Fists, feet, pants, hair, whatever! The longer she beats on him, the oiler she's going to get. But the Turk, he takes it all like a man, his breath held and arms steeled! Each strike sends him sliding back along the ground, leaving a slimy trail not online a travelling snail.
To his credit, he /appears/ to weather the storm well! He flinches and grimaces, but not once does he cry out. It's like he's saving it all up, taking in the pain to unleash late--
THAT TIME IS NOW!
The oil baron's pale eyes fly right open and his body suddenly springs to life! His toes clench and dig against the pavement, somehow stopping him right on a dime. His giant arms lift up and outward, legs bunched before he launches himself at the S.I.N. operative, ready to bearhug the holy hell right out of her!
She had better find a way to avoid this, or those delicate bits will learn what it's like to be part of a human drill. Pro Tip: Being constantly scraped across the pavament hurts.
In all honesty Faolan is a bit glad that his taunting didn't draw Juri to attack him again. he is still feeling pretty damn sore from it all and could use a bit of a break just to try and take a moment to recollect his thoughts. That and he does his best to try and ignore the pain he is in at the moment. He can just have someone throw him into a tub of ice when this is all over and that should sort things out.....to an extent.
He tchs lightly upon seeing Juri to handle this assault with relative ease. It seems that she doesn't consider him even a threat at the moment since she seems more intent on going after Hakan at the moment. He can only hope she regrets doing that. The Turk looks pretty big and Faolan isn't really sure what he can do. He hopes all that oiling up stuff isn't just for show. That makes things slightly more creepy if it is.
Even more so he isn't sure he wants to get in the middle of that craziness. Instead he parks himself right where he is and takes another moment to catch his breath and figure out what to do. "You show who's boss, Big Red!" he tells his partner in crime for this fight as he tries to block out the pain and figure out a plan of attack.
COMBATSYS: Faolan focuses on his next action.
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Faolan [E] 1/-------/=======|=======\-------\1 Juri
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Hakan 0/-------/-======|
COMBATSYS: Juri endures Hakan's Oil Dive.
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Faolan [E] 1/-------/=======|=======\=------\1 Juri
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Hakan 1/------=/=======|
Oil.
Oil on her clothes, oil in her hair, oil all over her body. It's slick, it's warm, it's not at all what she was expecting. Nor was she quite expecting what happened after she finished her attack. You see, her attack was successful: She brutally delivered both kicks to the man's stout frame. Unfortunately though the exchange in kinetic force also ended in an exchange of oil and as Juri attempts to land on her feet she swiftly finds those same feet up in the air and the rest of her resting firmly on her back. She's astonished: First by the fact she's looking at the sky, and secondly because there's a ginormous red man descending from said sky!
What comes next is both absurd and painful, yet Juri weathers the assault admirally as she slides along the ground in Hakan's grasp. Unfortunately her usual outfit offers little protection against the constant scraping of pavement: The individual tiny rocks of the asphault each dragging long, bleeding scraps across the pale flesh of her back. Once the attack is over and she slips from the large man's grasp, Juri lands on the ground in a wet pile.
Or so it seems. In fact, Juri weathered the assault far better than it seems and she even manages to land upright despite being covered in the super slick oil. A wet ripping sound is heard as Juri suddenly pulls away the loose white cloth from her legs: More of a liability soaked in oil as they are. The audience at home will discover two things: One, Juri wears a pair of dark purple tights under those pants, and two they are cut so low in the front that Juri likely is intimately familiar with what the term 'Brazilian Wax' means.
No matter she's so fucking pissed all the damn time.
Speaking of pissed, Juri's left eye is glowing brightly as a soft whining tone fills the air. She shoves off the ground and slides directly toward Hakan, "GO TO HELL!" At this moment Faolan may be glad he isn't the target, because Hakan is about to be on the receiving end of a flurry of blows starting with a downward jumping knee strike against his broad chest!
COMBATSYS: Hakan fails to interrupt Feng Shui Engine from Juri with Oil Slide EX.
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Faolan [E] 1/-------/=======|=====--\-------\0 Juri
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Hakan 1/-======/=======|
Impact! Juri strikes Hakan's chest with enough force that the two go sliding across the ground together. Though admittedly it doesn't take much. As the two travel together, Juri delivers several painful looking punches to Hakan's face. Her tiny fists do not pack nearly the punch her feet does, but it's still rather unpleasant to have them vibrating the insides of your skull. When she is finished with that particular activity the two suddenly flip places: Juri on bottom, Hakan on top. This time however it is Juri in control and she launches the crimson man's frame into the air with a mighty upwards kick!
Launching herself up into the air the Spider proceeds to perform an aerial combination. Her body twirls like a demented pinwheel as she delivers kick after kick powered by that deadly violet colored energy, all the while sending sheets of oil over the crowd and nearby surroundings! The military should have fun cleaning that up afterwards.
When she is finally finished Juri grabs the top of Hakan's head, spins herself around before delivering a final mighty kick to his back that aims to send Hakan crashing next to Faolan. Once she is done she lands quietly, deftly...
... then slips and falls right on her ass. "OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE!"
Oh. Oh, now THIS is pain.
It might have been a good effort against somebody else. But Juri, she's just too fast, Hakan is just too large. He tries to lurch forward and sweep the woman's feet out from under her, but all he does is rush toward the incoming assault. It's impressive, how someone of his size is juggled, flipped, bent, and thrown so! Cries of pain erupt from his chest like sweet music, muted by his sudden re-introduction to the earth. His arms splayed out, perhaps he'll get a bit of a breather.
Or not. It's not enough to just beat the hell out of him; Juri has to come up and drop-kick him over to the crazy Irishman! As he slides along the ground, he leaves another trail of oil until he comes to a complete stop just at Faolan's feet.
"I think..." he gurgles, apparently perfectly comfortable laying face-down and talking into the ground as he is. "I think we're in trouble, my friend."
It seems like it was a good idea not to go rushing in like originally planned. Things just got a bit too weird there and instead of worrying about Juri coming at him Faolan is instead quickly staggering off to the side as Hakan soon crashes in right near him. "Ehn, no kidding." he says to the comment made from the Turk. Well if he has to go out he may as well go out in a bang.
Of course he probably only make things worse for himself when he notices Juri land on her ass and he starts to laugh. "Figured a girl like you would be used to being covered in stuff." he says and idly taps his bata on his shoulder a few times. He then looks at the oil trail left and seems to consider something.
He decides it is worth a shot and he leaps forward and lands on that trail before awkwardly wobbling forward while trying to gain momentum as he lets that trail carry him forward right towards Juri and his possible death. "Oooooooh fuuuuuuu-" he shouts as he aims to drive one end of his bata right into the sternum of Juri and then release a blast of energy from said tip if it connects.
COMBATSYS: Juri interrupts Saying Hello from Faolan with Karen Kick.
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Faolan [E] 1/--=====/=======|======-\-------\0 Juri
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Hakan 1/-======/=======|
There's a story of a couple of stupid kids standing outside of a tiger exhibit at a zoo. They were having a good time throwing things at the tiger, laughing at it, calling it names. Naturally they thought they were safe. The exhibits are designed, after all, to be impossible for the animal to escape. Faolan doesn't have the benefit of an exhibit but the same principle holds true: Don't bring up the Dog Costume Incident.
DO NOT BRING UP THE DOG COSTUME INCIDENT!
As Faolan is sliding his way toward Juri, clearly off center and trying his best to keep his balance, Juri too is off balance and trying to regain her standing posture. It's almost comical to watch these two experienced fighters: One struggling the stand, the other struggling to stay standing while hitting someone. Pay Per View money well spent. Right when Faolan slides into range though, Juri has finally managed to stand up just as the bata lashes out at her body!
Unfortunately she maneuvers just enough for it to slide across her side instead: Damaging some of the straps to her top, and shocking her with the chi but otherwise doing very little of what it was intended to do. Soon enough though the Ikari will be able to feel Juri's foot reach up and press down against the top of his head. She forces him down to her level, then uses her upward momentum to drive her knee right into his chest.
She finishes with an aerial spin followed by another brutal kick: This time a heel kick aimed right for the chest that will send Faolan sprawling back against the oil slick! When Juri lands she once again slips, this time falling forward. A soft grumble escapes her lips, "OK... it was fun at first but this is really getting old. Seriously, what the fuck is this stupid, smelly shit?!"
So, Hakan is hurt. But we've already established that! His whole body really does just ache from head to toe from a beating that he NEVER would have imagined from such a little girl! Okay, so the fact that almost everyone, to him, is a 'little girl' is unimportant. He's just SO tempted to lay here and sleep a bit... BUT NO. Oh, no. Faolan, the idiot, has to jump over him and use his oil slick! With a groan, he flops over onto his back, looking 'up' at the carnage going on betwee the other two fighters...and again, the man is losing. This will not do.
He pushes up a little bit, starting to sit with a groan. He can't see anything anymore, but he can hear. Oh, how he can hear. It's as if his ear grew three sizes when the harlot starts calling his oil 'stupid, smelly shit'. For a moment, he's still...and then he begins to steam. When he turns over again, he's on hands and knees, fingers digging into the pavement. "THAT..." he shouts, loud and clear for all to hear. "Is my world-famous EXTRA virgin olive oil! It is neither stupid NOR smelly!" Ah. She's hit a nerve, there. His shoulders roll and his back and ass clench. He looks like a cat about to pounce! But instead, he...slides forward along the ground, screaming across like a rocket. If he can take out the girl's feet, she'll be spent spinning in the air, easily...at least as long as it would take for the Turk to find something to bounce off of and slide back, face-up, to catch her in his manly embrace.
And believe you me, there is only one woman in the world who could possibly take pleasure in one of Hakan's 'special' hugs.
A few broken ribs suck. At this point it might be all ribs are broken on Faolan. That is beyond suck. It at least feels like things are roughed up to that extent, but he can hope the doctor's tell him differently. Either way said doctors would be telling the Ikari not to move at this point and just try to relax. That of course would mean Faolan is a wussy. He certainly isn't that.
As battered as he is he starts moving after a few moments once he lands in a busted up heap and he tries to start getting to his feat. "Only....ehn...only...." he grumbles and decides talking just isn't worth it at the moment. It hurts too much. Instead he just drags himself to his feet and sort of sways while trying to keep from falling right back over.
He manages to will his body to move forward. It is a jog that turns into an awkward run. Like some kid in a special olympics race as he closes in on Juri. "Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck...." he mumbles and he leaps from one foot and swings the other back before swinging it forward full force intent on nailing Juri right between the legs. Just because she doesn't have a daddy button doesn't mean it won't hurt.
COMBATSYS: Faolan can no longer fight.
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Hakan 0/-------/------=|======-\-------\0 Juri
"YOU!"
COMBATSYS: Juri endures Hakan's Oil Combination Hold.
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Hakan 0/-------/------=|=======\-------\1 Juri
COMBATSYS: Juri endures Faolan's Jig Kick.
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Hakan 0/-------/------=|=======\-------\1 Juri
It's amazing, isn't it? Hakan zips along the ground so fast that he's just some big red blur! He passes Faolan in short order. His head smashes into her ankle, sending the girl spinning...and when he slides back in, he just sort of STOPS under her. His arms clamp down on her like some sort of meaty crane game, plucking her from the air and smashing her into his thick, hard, well-oiled body. His AMAZING body. Don't you even dare try to deny it.
How fortuitous, really, that the big man has god a grip on the little tart! Holding her so tightly, her backside is exposed for the Irishman's most unsportsmanlike move! She may regret not trying to get out of the way better; a boot in the cooch is no walk in the park. Just ask Mrs. Hakan.
Though she's very nearly booted right out of his arms, the Turk's grip is sure! Not giving her a moment's respite, he flips over and wrangles her between arms and thighs, his limbs just going in ALL the wrong places and leaving nothing unmolested until he's hunched over her, balled-up like some sort of fleshy beef cage that smells like pressed olives and sweat. It's humiliating enough, to be certain...but it's even worse when he grunts, strains, and flexes every single muscle in his body. It's kind of like that scene in Akira where that girl gets squashed in Tetsuo's enormous, mutated body. The only thing that saves poor Juri is the slick POP that marks her freedom, her body ejected like some sort of oily rocket.
From between Hakan's legs.
Jesus.
When the large, red, oily man with the NAIISU BADII comes shooting toward her like a red rocket, Juri is once again just trying to get to her feet. She growls slightly as she wipes some of the oil out of her face, "Whatever you oily red fre... what?!" Suddenly she feels her ankles smashed out from under her, her body spins in the air! There's a chance she could escape, and get away, but she's so pissed off right now that she decides to simply endure the assault instead.
Perhaps not the best decision ever, particularly when Faolan decides to give her No Man's Land a friendly little boot! A particularly painful boot that nearly propels her from the Turkish man's grasp. She endures it too, but not without growling softly, "I'll /break/ you, bastard..."
Anything more she would like to say was quickly halted by the incredible spinning action of Hakan's attack! Her body is manipulated, spun and scraped across the ground. Then, in some kind of hideous mockery of birth, she is squeezed with incredible pressure from between Hakan's thighs! Her body slides uncontrolled across the ground with incredible speed and rams face first into the side of a nearby humvee. There are a few moments of shocked silence. Those in the audience probably cannot understand what they have just seen. What was that move that Hakan just used?! Is this the true power of Turkish Oil Wrestling?!?
"Hehe... it's been fun after all."
Suddenly the jeep is sent crashing over onto its side, propelled by the force of Juri using it as a platform to kick off of! Her intent, apparently, is to slam directly into Hakan's body and ... grapple ahold of him?! What she is planning is rather clear: Her body is aglow with that baleful violet psycho power.
COMBATSYS: Juri successfully hits Hakan with Fuharenjin.
~~ Alluring Hit! ~~
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Hakan 1/---====/=======|-------\-------\0 Juri
And just like that, Juri grabs onto Hakan's body! Her legs straddle his waist, her one arm curled around his neck and the other ... gently stroking his cheek? Be assured that this is no friendly embrace however. Not from how Juri's left eye is glowing. Not from how a vortex of purple psycho power is building around them! She speaks in a soft, menacing purr. "Let's go some place nice ... just the two of us."
Then there is a kiss.
Then there is a blinding pulse of energy as the two are consumed within a massive explosion! The nearby stands and most of the audience are consumed as well. Faolan will fare little better, even if he is currently out of action. The expanding wall of psychic force will upend vehicles and destroy all but the back-up cameras positioned far enough away from the action to not risk being destroyed. The Saturday Night Fight executives have dealt with this woman before, after all.
And when it is over, when the explosion dissipates, Juri will be standing in the center cackling loudly, "Well! Game Over, isn't it?"
By the time he's knocked down, Hakan is hardly in any shape to defend himself. In fact, after exerting himself by shooting Juri out into the jeep, he's actually rather spent! The blows that he'd suffered must have struck deeply however, because he doesn't APPEAR to be beaten too badly. Rest assured that his body aches, and when he's laid out on his back, it decides to just take the easy way out and relax. It gets about...oh, half a second's rest before the pain returns in full force.
Or does it? Here he is, laying on his back with what would normally be a really hot girl straddling him, were it not for her...issues. His eyes are dull anyway, but they're glassy now, brought into focus by the hands simultaneously choking and stroking him. "But I'm marr--"
He's silenced by the wholly unexpecting making out, something that he couldn't enjoy even if he wanted to as psychic rage rips through all and sundry! Off in the distance, there's another explosion, a plume of fire that rolls out and in on itself like some sort of mushroom cloud. What on EARTH...?
The roar of a military vehicle comes to light as the guest 'car' comes roaring into the violet blaze. It screeches to a half, turning and skidding sideways while, from out of its rear window, a tiny projectile is launched. Then another. And another. Seven in all, each with sharp, gnashing teeth and a desire to gnaw on Spider flesh, Hakan's daughters are ravenous! The slam of the driver's side door brings their mother onto the scene, her eyes red and tiny hands balled up into tight, terrible fists. "THAT IS MY HUSBAND, YOU SLUT!" The blonde woman doesn't slap, she doesn't poke. She aims a kick worthy of any soccer star toward Juri's ribs, attempting to dislodge her from her poor, nearly-raped husband.
COMBATSYS: Hakan can no longer fight.
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Juri 0/-------/-------|
COMBATSYS: Hakan successfully hits Juri with Combo Throw.
[ \\\\\\\ <
Juri 0/-------/------=|
One dislodged, Hakan's wonderful, amazing, darling wife throws him into the car with far too much ease for her little body. She snaps her fingers all her daughters all let go of their prey immediately, launching themselves into the vehicle shortly afterward.
As it just so happened, Juri was enjoying herself in her moment of victory. Standing victorious atop Hakan's crippled body, witnessing the sheer devastation she had delivered upon the military base! Of course they had expected that she would do something like this. Bringing Juri Han anywhere is like bringing a live explosive: No matter how hard you try to handle with care, she can and will go off.
However there is another explosion. One that was not expected, and it's enough to make even Juri take notice. She mumbles to herself, "What the Hell?" Her left eye focuses on the distant image of the approaching guest car, and the Spider chuckles to herself. "Another challenger?! How fun! Well c'mon then, try to bre---"
Her words are cut off when her eyes widen with shock. You see, she had expected many things to come leaping from that vehicle: A burly man, a muscular woman, perhaps even a magnificent fighting robot. The last bit would have even been less absurd than what ACTUALLY appears: Seven tiny little girls, flying like projectiles and each attaching to her like vicious little pirahnas. Juri growls like an animal caught in a trap. "You little shits! Let go of me!" Juri tries to grab one and pull her from where she has sunk her teeth into the Spider's upper arm. "I'll kill you too!!!"
Not that she would get a chance. No, instead with a mighty declaration and frightening yet beautiful woman delivers a truly painful looking kick to Juri's midsection. The Taekwondoka's eyes widen with shock, and she is flung up into the air. Dutifully the seven children with their tiny, terrible teeth detatch from Juri and return to their parent's side. Meanwhile Juri is allowed to crash into a crumpled heep on the ground, her body shaking and bleeding from numerous bite wounds.
A cloud of dust and rocks is kicked up into Juri's face as the car blurs past and off into the distance, and she only barely blocks it with one hand. Afterwards she slowly and shakily gets to her feet, holding a large bite wound on her side that one of the particularly large girls gave to her. She just smirks to herself, "Whatever. I'm going to go wash this shit off already." And with that, she walks away and into the military base commandeer a hot shower and LOTS of soap.
COMBATSYS: Juri has ended the fight here.
Log created on 19:33:44 06/10/2011 by Faolan, and last modified on 19:38:41 06/15/2011.