Match of the Millennium

Description: Odyss R and his entourage have moored their yacht on Gozo with the intention of partying on the island. Calypco has been staying there alone for far too long and is very bored, so when it's time for the star to move on, she insists upon him staying.

[HATED R]
OBNOXIOUS has been docked (or moored?) at the Island of Gozo for the longest party that this island has ever seen. At least that's what Odyss R thinks. He's right in the middle of stumbling around the land to wake some of his sleeping party animals on the yacht up so that they can prepare to move along to the next spot. There's random slapping and pointing sleepy facial expressioned friends and fans in the direction of the oversized yacht.

There's a tremendous amount of party flavored litter that's all over the area around OBNOXIOUS and the ground of the Island. Odyss R doesn't really have the mental fortitude to know that he's leaving a place so far worse off than when he moored here. He really is just trying to have a good time and the fact that it looks like a lot of people did, is all he needs to move on to the next stop.

Odyss R leans over the only person that knows how to actually turn the OBNOXIOUS on because Odyss R definitely doesn't know. He grabs a sparkling milkshake off a random table and starts taking some heavy sips from it. In between he's slapping the OBNOXIOUS' driver in the face to try and wake him up. It's not working. Dude is passed completely out.

[COCO]
==*== PREVIOUSLY ==*==

"Okay, so, like, who is this Calypso supposed to be?" Coco had wondered aloud in her meeting with the Professional Fighting Worldwide wardrobe manager ahead of the match. "Oh, right, here she is. I didn't think the Odyssey ever went to the Caribbean, but, whatevs."

She pulled a face.

"Seriously? They've cast me as this girl? Me, in dreadlocks, pretending to be a voodoo sea witch? No way."

"Um, it's actually supposed to be a different Calypso," the wardrobe tech delicately advised.

"What?" Coco quickly revised her search to find the myth in question in more detail. "...So, I'm supposed to play a nymphomaniac goddess who wants to indefinitely imprison a lost sea captain as a sex slave while his wife's waiting for him back home?"

"I mean, you don't have to get into the weeds with it -"

"No, that's fine. I can work with that."

==*== PRESENTLY ==*==

"Oh, I wouldn't bother," a sultry soprano shouts up from the pier alongside the OBNOXIOUS as Hated R is trying to revive the ship's pilot. Looking down, the source of the unsolicited advice is revealed to be a purple-haired girl in a turquoise bikini top and a see-through sarong over matching bottoms. Despite the bacchanalian carnage that surrounds the scene, the party princess' French braid, makeup, and outfit all appear perfectly intact. Around one finger, she's twirling a keyring. It would probably be familiar to Hated R if he paid more attention to the piloting of his boat.

"Remember me? I'm Callie. We've been having a one-night stand for the last, like, seven years," Coco claims, apparently getting fully into character. "And apparently, I'm not bored yet! So, come on, forget about these losers and get down here," she demands. "I've got a couple of energy drinks with your name on them." She nudges an open cooler next to her feet full of colourful Odyssey brand energy drink cans. "Trust me, you're going to need them." She winks.

[HATED R]
Blink. Blink blink. BLINK.

Hated R does that thing where he looks up from the sleeping pilot to the world around him. And then his eyes land on a hottie. A TOO Hottie if he can be perfectly honest. There's also a moment where normally there would be sound effects accompanying the wide eyes and the AWOOOOOGAH vision that's happening right now. If this was Animated R he'd totally turn into a wolf right now. But as it is, this is live action so he just kind of stumbles away from the sleeping pilot and right past the knocked out sound engineer that would normally be adding his sound effects.

The stumbling takes him in the direction of this hot chica and he doesn't even really care to remember her. Or he doesn't know if he remembers her? It's complicated and confusing. "Shawty, I dunno if I remember you but I damn sure won't forget you now!" Hated R cracks a smile and runs his hands through his hair. He's suddenly not as tired or drunkover as he was a few moments ago. "The party don't ever gotta' stop. I'm the reason they call it a Long Weekend."

So much eyebrow waggling from Hated R as he makes his way in Coco's direction. Hypnotized R, much?

[COCO]
For whatever reason, Coco seems unusually into the role that she's been asked to adopt for the context of this combat exhibition. Perhaps it's because she's been asked to portray a literal goddess (or approximation thereof) of good times. She runs her own fingers through her bangs as she adopts a coquettish posture at Hated R's approach. It doesn't necessarily even take total acting skill (or legitimate infatuation) to feel hypnotised - there's a subtle psychic pressure emanating from the faux-nymph that accentuates the body language and come-hither tone in Coco's voice.

"That's good to hear. I wouldn't want you running off to some silly wife, or finishing your tour, or whatever else might call you away," Coco prompts as she sweeps her hand along the fabric of her sarong before bending down to pluck one of the cans out of the cooler. She takes a step forward along the pier's surface before holding the ice-cold energy drink out at a lazy (yet lovely) arm's length for Hated R to take. "Why don't you have a sip of this before we get going, darling? I'm sure you're feeling rather... thirsty, with all this hotness."

[HATED R]
Hated R never seems to know whether he's comnig or going so either he's completely into this role, hasn't even paid attention to what the role is or he's just himself. Hated R really is a bit of a special case. It's a wonder he's made it this far in NFG to be perfectly honest.

At least he's entertaining. He thinks, anyway.

"Whoa! Pause!" Hated R checks his fingers and the couple of blinged out rings on his hands. "When did I get married and is she hot?!" Hated R has no idea if he's married or not. He's been to Vegas. A lot. It could've happened!

"Nah, girl. The Most Humblest don't need none of that weak stuff..." There's a shift in his demeanor as he goes into his pocket and comes out with a tiny bottle that he holds between his fingers. It's money green and has a huge dollar sign on it. "Not when I've got: Bank Shot." Is... is he about to do an ad right now? "Over ten different expensive and untested natural energy herbs and spices combine together to give you the boost that you need to do your deeds. Shoot /your/ shot with Bank Shot today." ... Yes. He just did an ad.

Hated R pops the top and it the liquid inside steams (it probably shouldn't) and he downs it. Gross.

[COCO]
Coco cocks her head to one side as Hated R takes a moment to try and confirm his marital status on live broadcast. Did Odysseus forget that he had a wife? She hasn't particularly researched the opposing role.

"Yes, you are married, remember? As for your second question, she's /obviously/ not as hot as me." She adjusts one of the straps of her bikini top subtly, showing off her jiggle physics for emphasis with the resulting ripple.

Then, Hated R rejects Colypco's fresh and frosty beverage, instead placing his own product, further blurring the lines of whether the man is in-character at all at the moment. She stares agape for a moment before letting out a small huff. Finally, she puts an accommodating smile back on her face.

"Well, in that case, I've got my own thirst that needs quenching," she says, reaching down to undo her sarong, the translucent turquoise cloth drifting down to the sand. She then raises up the can and cracks it open, causing it to fizz up audibly, and tips it delicately to her lips, her back arching. As she drinks, a few droplets run down her chin and decolletage, rivulets forming before trickling down her belly.

She closes her eyes and lets out a contented moan, then opens them wide again, grinning at Hated R.

"Sure you don't want a taste?" she asks, turning her head to one side and her silver eyes toward him as she holds up the bubbling beverage, running her free fingertip through the liquid on her stomach before sucking it clean and licking her teeth suggestively.

[HATED R]
"... Note to self. New Single title: Jiggle Physics."

Hated R seems to be quite focused on making sure that he's got himself all focused up on what is most important about this entire moment. He seems to be focused on Coco's jiggling because why would he look at anything else right now? There are things moving. Hypnotically.

somewhere in the middle of watching this entire drink fest go down, Hated R's face has shifted from hypnotized to hominahominahomina to okay-you-spilled-a-bit to DAMN WOMAN NEED A BIB?! and that last bit could explain why he's standing there holding out a 'THRILLER, ALSO' beach towel in Coco's direction. Apparently while jiggle physics are a turn on, the inability to drink in a fashion that makes some actual sense.

"Should we get you a straw or...?"

Hated R may not even be in character anymore. It's actually hard to figure out if he ever was in character. People like R don't exactly make for the best actors. They live their lives too /REAL/.

[COCO]
Coco-lypso, on the other hand, seems to be fully enveloped in the aggressively sensual persona she's putting on. Perhaps she hadn't accounted for the fact that a figure as beloved as Hated R would be desensitized to the kind of call to action that her tactical drippage is presenting. Suddenly, she finds herself being offered a towel, as if she were little more than a child in need of a sippy cup.

Her smile twitches ever-so-slightly.

"Oh, thanks, Odyss-R-Us," she says, taking the towel and swiftly wiping the caffeine and carbon clear from her curves before starting to roll it up. "You're so thoughtful. Why, yes, why don't you just fetch me a straw, so I can -"

Suddenly, the slightly-damp towel is snapping right at Hated R's midsection with all the prowess of a veteran locker room bully, aimed to tactically apply maximum pain (but no actual damage) by striking with just the tip of the wet fabric.

"- shove it up your backside so hard you'll be drinking your next meal through it?!"

It seems that Calli-co is not best pleased with the offer of a straw. Whether this was how the writers intended that this fight be instigated, it seems that Coco is just as committed to the violence part as she was to the sex goddess part.

Greek goddesses do have nasty tempers, after all.

COMBATSYS: Coco has started a fight here.

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Coco             0/-------/------=|

COMBATSYS: Hated R has joined the fight here.

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Coco             0/-------/------=|-------\-------\0          Hated R

[HATED R]
Hated R is in complete and utter denial about this whole thing. Maybe the more apt word is confusion. He doesn't really know or understand how handing and offering a towel to what has quickly become an angry hot woman was wrong! Which is why the look on his face is complete and utter dumbfoundery! Actual shock! Stationary awe! It's madness at its finest!

But for someone as obliviously method as Hated R, he manages to kick up a smirk along with this entire thing. He takes that towel to the midsection, sliding backwards with it and even slightly doubles over to help sell the pain that has overtaken him. "Ugh!" He's not really hurt but there's a method to this madness.

Which is revealed as he looks up with a playful smirk and a waggle of those eyebrows -- one of which has an 'R' cut into it by his incredibly talented barber. That waggling leads to a dangerously stylish wink that there are probably tons of gifs of. He follows that right up with a golden voiced, "So. You been looking at my backside, huh?"

Oh how the turn tables! Now it's time for Hated R to play the sexy role in all of this and either try to seduce Coco... or get punched in the overconfidently smiling face.

[COCO]
Simmering silently, Coco reels the twisted towel back before balling it up and tossing it toward the top of the OBNOXIOUS. Unfortunately, or perhaps intentionally, it flutters open in flight, the forces of drag overpowering the un-aerodynamic terrycloth mass and dragging it down to the bay. Coco has already turned her attention back to Hated Od by the time that the pending pollution comes to pass.

As he speaks, she narrows her eyes, looking as if she's focusing intently on what he's saying. Really, though, she's staring at the mystifying Hated Eyebrows. Was that R always there? Obviously she owns all of the Boyz II Band albums, but she hadn't noticed the barber's mark before.

She starts paying attention again just in time to hear him ask brazenly if she's been checking out his backside.

"No," she lies vehemently, "but you're quite welcome to appreciate mine!"

Oddly, it sounds like an angry threat, and not very much like the sort of thing someone would say before moving in to establish a kickboxing clinch with the invitee. Further confusing the issue, Coco would appear to be trying to make intense eye contact with Hated R while doing so - and then following up with a fake-out knee aimed for the midsection. The knee is intended to force the celebrity to shift his defenses downward, allowing Coco to trap his arms there while swinging around with her back to his front, twisting and throwing a high elbow over his guard to daze him. Only at that point would the invitation's meaning become evident, as Coco would thrust her hips backward to slam herself into his center of gravity. Should she succeed, the empathic connection created before would make the sensation twice seem as hard, feeding back the feeling experienced by Coco at the point of impact on top of Hated R's own end of the collision!

COMBATSYS: Hated R blocks Coco's Tiki Bongo.

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Coco             0/-------/-----==|==-----\-------\0          Hated R

[HATED R]
NFG's Pop Up Video Factoid: No. The 'R' hasn't always been there. Only since his most recent album, Capital R, has Hated R been sporting an R in his left eyebrow.

Hated R makes one of those 'Sure Jan' faces when the backside viewing is denied and even turns to the side to give a little more of a profile DAT ASS. But his teasing and mockery is short lived as Coco has decided that there's been enough flirting and now is the time for some disaster.

Hated R doesn't even realize what's about to happen as he's pulled in by her gaze once again. His own eyes distracted by the Cocolypso of her outfit once he's close enough, though. It only takes that briefest of no-attention-paying for things to go incredibly wrong for him in this next moment. Clinched with ease and completely faked out by the knee has Hated R in the perfect position for the obliteration as he shifts right down...

Narrator: It was at this moment, he knew he messed up.

Arms trapped and elbowed right into Dazedville (Population: R), The Most Humblest gets exactly what she promised as those hips bongo right into him! There's a grunt... and then a smile on Hated R's face.

He got his hands right up at the right time. Maybe that's why there's a huge SLAP sound that comes from the impact. "Saaaaaay CHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKS!"

Hated R makes use of this close proximity to his opponent and twirls a Sharpie between his fingers. He flicks the cap right off, aiming it at the Coco's 'Bongo' to see if there is something to the whole 'bounce a quarter off of' adage he's heard about and seen on TikTok. His movements are probably faster than they should be because he aims that marker for a quick scrawl of 'Hated R Wuz Here' -- wait, was this planned?! Was he trying to get her sarongless for this reason?!

Naaaaaah. No way, Hated R's that smart, right?

Anyway, if he can pull off this scrawlful (hah!) autograph sesh, Hated R seeks to send her on her way-- away from him-- with a healthy 'Get Me A Beer Smack'... complete with Sharpie Stained Handprint?

COMBATSYS: Coco blocks Hated R's Improvised Smack.

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Coco             0/-------/-----==|==-----\-------\0          Hated R

[COCO]
*SLAP*

Judging by the bemused expression on her face as her unstoppable hips meet Hated R's immovable hands, it's safe to say that Coco wasn't expecting her flow to be interrupted in quite such a cheeky fashion. Her expression then turns into a scowl when she feels the marker cap bouncing off of her backside.

"Have you been watching my KickTock?" she's only just finished asking when her eyes go wide at the odd sensation that comes next.

*squeak squeak squeak*

It's an unfamiliar one, but only because she'd been very, very drunk that time she'd thought she'd met Ed Sheeran at a party. She hadn't realised her error (or remembered the event) until her friend Becky had asked her who 'Franklin' was in the tennis club's women's change room. Luckily, she'd had a name and general description to go by, allowing her to easily track the offender down on social media and get her revenge. They'd dated for two weeks.

Coco only has a moment to reminisce before she realises that she must steel herself for Hated R's retaliation.

*SMACK*

While a handprint is certainly left (or right, depended on Hated R's handedness), Coco once again demonstrates her gluteal fortitude by audibly rebuffing the assault on the seat of her bikini bottoms, remaining standing.

She scowls over her shoulder.

"I did /not/ say you could sign my ass!"

And to double-punctuate her point, she whips around with a slightly-sloppy but ever-so-angry roundhouse punch aimed to knock Hated R straight off of the pier if he's not careful!

COMBATSYS: Hated R dodges Coco's Fierce Punch.

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Coco             0/-------/-----==|==-----\-------\0          Hated R

[HATED R]
NFG Pop Up Video Factoid: Hated R was supposed to appear on the Lego House Remix but instead stepped on a lego on his way to the studio and spent the next twelve days in a foot coma.

There are only a few things that Hated R is spectacular at. Believe it or not, he's a crazy good singer, his entertainer charisma is off the charts, he's obliviously clever in an idiot savant sort of way (Idiot Savant, new single?) and he can dance his ass off -- which is why he was the breakout star of Boyz II Band. But a hidden talent that he has come to master in his days as a hip-pop megastar?

Autographing Body Parts.

he doesn't actually have time to admire his handiwork this time because the Coco has been angered. Did the method acting drop or is this just part of it? Or do all chicks get mad when they get their asses... handprinted... signed? Listen, Hated R has a lot of raunchy fans. It's par for his course, okay?!

Wuh Oh! is the look on his face as he spots that roundhouse punch headed ini his direction. Hated R's movements are immediately to do the only thing he knows how to do in these situations: DUCK! Which enables him to no longer be in the path of that violent fist and to also actually get a chance to see his work. He mouths: 'Noice', mostly to himself as he comes face to cheek with it.

When Hated R pops back up to his standing position, he's got both of his hands up. "Fair! That's fair! That's totally my bad!" Wait, where'd the Sharpie go? And why is he so close? "It'll never happen again. I promise to keep my handprints to myself from now on..." Wait, why is he doing a grin with a raised eyebrow, right now?

Hated R looks up and the Sharpie flips down towards his face and he catches it right between his teeth. His hands immediately go behind his back and he dives forward at Coco's uh... Tiki Maracas? Aiming for a combination of headbutt to the chest + implied motorboating action. Implied because he's not /actually/ trying to motorboat her so much as sign uh... yeah, those Tiki Maracas with the Sharpie between held between his teeth.

'Hated R Wuz Here Too'.

COMBATSYS: Coco blocks Hated R's Explicit Content.

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Coco             0/-------/-----==|=------\-------\0          Hated R

[COCO]
Coco also has a few areas of special talent. She's very good at yoga, tennis and clubbing, with a great deal of experience in all three despite her relatively-young age. Combining these skills with a physique inherited from her French mother's side and a bold and refined fashion sense (also from her French mother's side) has resulted in her most celebrated asset. If one were to require said asset be spelled out, they need simply drop the '-et' from that asset.

Thus, her sentiment, expressed when Hated R ducks her swing:

"You can't afford that advertising space, babes!"

She brings her hands up as Hated R dives for her chest, catching his shoulders and deadening his headbutt as it smacks against her tropical percussion with less harm than intended. The marker only manages to leave a streak that unfortunately looks like a rude drawing on her cleavage as she keeps it mostly (but not entirely) at bay.

Her fury is barely masked as she turns eyes like molten steel down at Hated R while she converses internally with herself about her next course of action.

'Okay, Coco,' Coco's superego tells her id. 'You're starting to get a bit angry. Remember, you're supposed to be a cheeky sex goddess who's trying to lure this asshole into leaving his wife, not a pissed-off cheeky sex goddess who's being forced to demean herself on telly for a paycheque.'

'Sorry, Coco's not here at the moment,' Coco's ego replies, 'she's just boarded an entirely separate train of thought.'

'Sharpies are shaped a bit like straws,' Coco's id shouts as the train pulls away from the station.

Coco's arms slip upward, attempting to encircle Hated R's upper body and prevent the other fighter from using his own arms to fight back as she tries to trap his head against her chest before loosely launching her lovely knees up into the rap star's ribcage. If and when he's sufficiently dazed, she'll wrest that Sharpie back from him, intending to yank on his clothing to expose a suitable surface for her to furiously scribble her own signature - upside down - onto, before taking hold of said clothing to force him to walk in a semi-circle before planting her foot against his backside and shoving him forward toward the edge of the pier!

COMBATSYS: Coco successfully hits Hated R with Combo Grapple.

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Coco             0/-------/----===|=====--\-------\0          Hated R

[HATED R]
Hated R is a lot of things. A lot of things that maybe even he doesn't understand. Which is why he has no idea why he does some of the things he does sometimes. He doesn't actually know how to fight. He's a singer. He's a dancer. He's a rapper. He's a SUPERSTAR. He knows how to perform. entertain, get jiggy with it and so on, so forth. So actually being able to perform acts of violence is a thing that he's kind of learning on the fly.

He still needs a few dozen more lessons.

"Wait? Can't afford it?! I'm rich!" That. That is what Hated R takes the most offense to this entire time. He's been okay with everything else and right now is the moment that he feels like he's been tres disrespected. "That's like half my identity and self-worth!" Frown!

The frown doesn't get to last that long because Coco's decided that Hated R needs to be taught a lesson in personal space. He doesn't even understand how she's able to move in a manner that gets his ribcage kneed into last week. The pain of which only leads to him being around the corner from Woozy Station. That makes it such easy to snatch that Sharpie and set upon him with the viciousness of artistic integrity that is her own autograph onto his crispy outfit! With it being leather, there's definitely some smudging but otherwise it looks pretty damn good-- and vengeful!

"Whoa-- oh sick!" Hated R barely has time to register the 'Cocograph' with joy before he's spun and kicked right in the BOOTAY and sent stumbling towards the edge of the pier! Where the only reason he doesn't go into the water is the fact that he's got some dancing skills... and has learned how to stop on a dime. Or, in this case, the edge of the pier. "Hee hee!" A shout out to MJ as he's up on his toes in his self-promoting sneakers: The R Jordans.

The heels come down to the pier and Hated R backs away from the edge in the most entertaining way possible: He Moonwalks. The speed and rate in which his pitch perfect moonwalking happens has to be some kind of trick because it almost looks like it could be hypnotic in a way. How he's able to moonwalk on such surfaces as pier and sand is incredible and the speed is inhuman-- especially when he's back near Coco and works an evasive angle by, quite literally, moonwalking circles around her. A tactic to confuse or dizzify if she tries to keep up with those speedster-esque movements. "Sha'mon!" is the battle cry that leads to a quick and swift kick aimed at her mid-section the moment he's ready to break out of his fancy footwork! Just a quickIf he can double her over, he'll reach out to grab her head under his arm. "I'm not bad..." comes the theatrical ish talking before he attempts to moonwalk backward with her. "I just dance that way."

DDT!

COMBATSYS: Coco blocks Hated R's Moonwalk Sonata.

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Coco             0/-------/---====|=====--\-------\0          Hated R

[COCO]
Coco watches with disappointment as Hated R teeters his way out of a watery fate. Realising she's still got the Sharpie in her hand, she shrugs her shoulders before tossing it over one of them. For a so-called environmentalist, she doesn't seem to take much personal responsibility for stopping litter.

When her eyes return to Hated R, he's already moonwalking past her at speed, causing her to gawk in amazement. "What in the world - pluhh!" The latter is the result of her getting a faceful of sand from Hated R's wake as the rapper glides onto the beach, forcing Coco to throw up her arms to shield her delicate skin.

"Ugh! Rude! I'm wearing factor fifty!"

Brushing away some of the sand sticking to her glistening skin, Coco only has a moment to recognize the actual intended offense of Hated R - and not enough to defend herself properly. The kick hits her in the midsection, causing her to double over with a gasp.

"Also rude," Coco croaks as Hated R hooks his arm over her head. Her hand presses against his own midsection as her heels dig in to arrest his attempt to pull her backward, her autographed backside wiggling as she squirms out of his grip in partial thanks to her slippery sun lotion. Her hands slip up to Hated R's shoulders, then down to his biceps as she raises her head. Her purple hair flutters about her face in the breeze briefly before she flicks her head, revealing her silver eyes as they lock on the superstar's.

If he fails to resist her attempt to penetrate his gaze with her own, the Most Hated will find a connection forming with her in his mind, a sensation usually familiar only to inexperienced psychics and those who have dealt with them. He'd get a brief sense of staring into a mirror before she would drive a high knee toward his midsection, trying to force him to double over as he did to her. Then, if she succeeds, he'd feel her thighs close in on either side of his head as she'd mount his shoulders, leaning back to force him to stumble, all the while projecting her own senses on top of his own as she'd spin him around before releasing him with a twist of her hips. If all goes according to plan, he'd be thrown to the ground, let with a lingering sense of intoxication and illness as the empathic link severs.

COMBATSYS: Coco successfully hits Hated R with Singapore Sling.
-* CRITICAL HIT! *-
~~ Alluring Hit! ~~

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Coco             0/-------/=======|=======\===----\1          Hated R

[HATED R]
The Life & Times of Hated R.

There are a few things that happen to Hated R when he manages to get caught by those eyes of Coco's. He was in the middle of preparing to whine about his Sharpie (because he has a Sharpie line and it was technically merch but it's fine -- IT'S FINE!) when the eyes lock and all semblance of a DDT are no longer part of the plan. He doesn't even know how to fight anymore. Well, it has been established that he doesn't know how to fight anyway but this is also fine. ALSO FINE.

Whether he realizes that he's no longer holding her or not, Hated R is kind of in this weird state of where he's going to be for the next few moments. His mind is wide open and fully penetrable by those that have some sort of ability to lclimb into that empty mind. His brain, to be honest, might as well be empty. Except for a few things...

Quick flashes of Baby R dancing in his crib.

Quick flashes of his Mother seeing dollar signs.

Quick flashes of being a dork in kindergarten.

Quick flashes of small performances during grade school and growing popularity.

Quick flashes of the forming of Boyz II Band.

Quick flashes of hot babes. And hot babes flashing.

Quick flashes of the fall of Boyz II Ba-- oh wait, nope, there's the hot babes again. More hot babes.

Quick flashes of solo career... and hot babes.

Yeah, it's pretty much just going to be hot babes from now on so we'll fast forward.

Hated R gets knocked out of his accidental trip down psychic memory lane by the knee to the midsection! Hated R grunts and comes back to reality, doubling over and holding his midsection. "Damn, girl! What you got botox in your knees or suntin'?! Such hatin'!" He really has been knee'd a lot -- it's starting to hurt! Then comes the thighs and Hated R holds very still. VERY still. "Nevermind!" Why does his voice sound a bit happier in this moment? Weirdo.

Coco's yoga-centric flexibility spins Hated R to the ground and he smacks into the hard ground and sand pretty hard. He bounces and rolls, somehow managing to hit every rock and hard object in his path. His body doesn't actually come to a stop until it smacks into something solid and unmoving -- it doesn't even matter what it is.

Hated R is still for a long moment before he lifts his head and it looks almost like he's got some hearts in his eyes. There's a blissful look across his face -- almost as if he's been allured or something, but he looks down at his hand, his fingers touching a the plastic top of the now GONE FOREVER Sharpie. He picks it up, looks at it, looks at Coco and steels himself as he pushes himself up to a single knee. He narrows his eyes and almost glares in the direction of Coco.

"SUUUUUUUUUUUPEEEEEEEEEEEER! MEGGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! HAAAAAAAAATED BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM..."

The wind picks up around Hated R! Sand swirls up and around him! A bright spotlight shines from beneath him and causes him to glow, his blinged out jewelry shimmering as it looks like Hated R is engulfed with the power of a thousand superstars!

"UUUUUUUUULLLLLLLLLLLLLLTRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

... and then he flicks the Sharpie top at Coco.

COMBATSYS: Coco dodges Hated R's Small Random Weapon.

[        \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ///////////                   ]
Coco             0/-------/=======|=======\===----\1          Hated R

[COCO]
As she picks herself up off of the sand and starts idly dusting beach debris off of her backside, Coco herself appears to be slightly dazed in the aftermath. Normally, she's quite good at shutting out the emotional imprintations of those she fixes with her psychic stare. It's sort of the equivalent of a mental Rainbow Six raid: set the charges, breach, flashbang, unleash violence before they recover or you get a good long look at their faces. In this case, it was more like tripping through the bathroom door with the explosives in hand because it wasn't even latched, staring awkwardly for several seconds, then hastily scrambling out before the bomb goes off.

The look in Coco's eyes is totally blank as Hated R starts to channel the power of a thousand superstars.

Then, when he flicks the Sharpie top at her, she tilts her head to the side, allowing it to sail harmlessly past.

Her head remains tilted as she raises an eyebrow.

"Why is your mind full of nothing but hot babes?" she questions with a scrutinizing gaze, before looking down at herself, then back to Hated R.

"Oh. 'Course."

And with that, she brings up her fists, then steps up and pivots into a simple yet swift Muay Thai side kick at Hated R's middle!

COMBATSYS: Coco successfully hits Hated R with Medium Kick.

[       \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  /////                         ]
Coco             1/-------/=======|=======\=======\1          Hated R

[HATED R]
Hated R looks as innocent as he can when he's finally back up to his feet. He looks quite battered and doubly bruised, in a state of wobbly despair as he tries to remain as stylish as he started this while also remaining upright. It's a complicated juggling of positions but the question from Coco puts him in the right mental space to fight through the pain-- and the internal bleeding-- to answer.

"What else am I gonna' keep up there?" is the response because of course he's focused on women as his number one priority. It likely used to be money but now that he has so much of it, there's just no reason to worry about that anymore.

"Hey! You distracted me again!"

Now, the fact that this is said is interesting because this is said after the collision of that side kick into his middle. His body was rocked with such vicious brutality that as far as he knows he was still on pier and sand. It wasn't until he came to for a moment did he realize he was standing on, well, nothing. And that's when he had the opportunity to throw out that last line of verbal defense. Followed by this one.

"COLD AS ICE!"

And now is when Hated R falls to the depths of the waters below to SPLASH! with the best of 'em.

K! O!

COMBATSYS: Hated R gonna' let that electric slide.

[       \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  <
Coco             1/-------/=======|

COMBATSYS: Hated R can no longer fight.

[       \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  <
Coco             1/-------/=======|

[COCO]
Several stray droplets spatter refreshingly against Coco's skin as Hated R tumbles into the turquoise tide of Marsalforn. She waits for a moment, fists still raised in a kickboxing guard, before relaxing as the celebrity fails to immediately resurface.

Then, she quickly hurries over to the shade tree where her smartphone, handbag, Fontana water bottle and bearcat are all resting on a sun lounger and stoops down to pick up the mobile device. She checks her lighting, cocks her hips, and holds her camera at arm's length behind herself for a selfie.

There's no way that she's going to walk around Malta with the celebrity's signature on her arse, but that doesn't mean she won't take a souvenir autograph for her private collection. After all, Hated R might not be Ed Sheeran, but that mental flash took her back to the time a young Constance Coalbridge had seen Boyz II Band in concert.

Holding the screen up against the glaring sun, she smiles.

"Perfect."

She hits the button to share, intending to upload it to her personal account, then confirms without realising she's accidentally pressed Hitter instead due to the sun.

#hatedrwuzhere will surely soon be trending.

Log created on 09:36:21 03/17/2024 by Coco, and last modified on 12:01:39 03/24/2024.