NFG Season One - Djamila Confides to Daisuke

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Description: Djamila still hasn't gotten over what she did to Kenzo. She decides to call Daisuke to talk with him. Free sandwiches for the trouble.

Djamila didn't know who to talk to. It was hard to talk about it to another NFG fighter. She didn't want to call her stripper family either. Who could she talk to about this? She tries to spend a lot of time by Kenzo's side while he's healing, but seeing him like this just makes it hard. Because she did this.

Finally, someone comes to mind. Daisuke is not quite an NFG fighter. Not quite on her team. It would work if he's willing.

She ends up calling him. "Hey, Daisuke. Can we meet somewhere? I really need to talk to someone, and I think you would be great for it. I am thinking of some easy-to-reach rooftops. Have some privacy and stuff.

After confirmation, she gets herself ready. She grabs a few sandwiches in case either of them is hungry. A couple of bottles of water and she sets her way to get to the agreed meeting point. She waits on the ground first, though, just so he doesn't have to wonder if he has the right spot when he arrives. They can always climb up there together. She waits with a sort of basket around her arm. Her other arm has her staff in her hand.

It's really not the kind of call and invite Daisuke was expecting. And let's be honest, probably not something he should easily accept either, considering his current circumstances with Juri and... well, everything. But when it comes down to it, Daisuke is always just a sucker. THe kind of sucker that just can't say no to someone who might seem like they're in even the slightest need of help.

And hearing someone say they really need to talk to someone sounds like someone who needs at least some kind of help.

So wouldn't you know it, Daisuke's coming. The redhead isn't as noticable from a distance to people who can see this time around, since the colder weather has given him an excuse to don a brown hoodie under a grey jacket -- with the former's hood flipped over his head already. Djamila might realize he's closing in from down the street still, though.

The japanese young man does almost slip right around the corner to the alley leading for a fire escape ladder, only for him to stop right before making the turn. His head perks up underneath the hood, and he's peeking along towards where Djamila is stood.

"Oh-- oh, hey..." Turning fully there, he takes a few step closer, with a finger turning up to scratch at his cheek. "Fadel-san. You, uh..." He hesitates, with a peek down to the basket she's brought with her. "...Kind of look like you're going for a picnic."

She didn't realize how she might put Daisuke in any kind of trouble. She also figures someone would just tell her no or such. But not everyone can or wants to be. She's at least really grateful for him agreeing to meet.

Djamila doesn't seem to be dressed for the cold weather. She has blue jeans this time, with a shirt. It just doesn't look that warm. Yet, she's here like that.

"Hey, Daisuke.", she finally says when he says something himself. She then chuckles a bit. "I brought sandwiches in case we get hungry. I thought it would be nice. I don't know." She smiles, although it's not full. "Shall we go up?" She looks at him. "Oh, you're aren't afraid of heights, do you?" She realizes she never asked before. "Otherwise, it's awkward." She frowns.

If he's fine going up, she lets him go first, before following. She's able to climb up, using wind to lifts her staff up, freeing the hand.

"I... suppose so," is all Daisuke really has to offer about the sandwiches. He might seem just a little akward about it -- maybe embarrassed that he didn't bring anything, in light of it. Which, as it turns out, is more so than he might have been akward about heights, since his comment on those is just a shrug and a mutter of "I'm okay with heights."

After you fall off a couple skyscrapers with nothing but psionic powers to help you not turn into a splat on the street, you kind of start getting comfortable with heights, one supposes.

The redhead's pretty good with climbing up quickly, too. Sure, he doesn't have chi-controlled winds to help him get up, but he makes up for it well enough with just physical ability alone. He might not look particularly strong, but maybe he has some experience with urban climbing anyway?

Once he does make it up to vault onto the rooftop proper with a little "hup!" he turns almost right after to lean back over to offer hand down in an offer to let Djamila up the rest of the way. He must realize she probably doesn't need it, but he offers that hand regardless.

She feels the awkwardness but doesn't necessarily put it with the fact he didn't bring anything. She didn't expect him to do so. Just wanted him to bring himself. "OK, glad you have no problems with height. Sorry, I didn't think of it before."

She follows him up there. She uses wind chi both as practice and because she doesn't have enough hands otherwise. For whatever reason, she never leaves her staff behind. She doesn't care about his climbing ability, but she does notice he has no trouble getting up there. She figures he probably has some sort of experience. Or he's a natural.

She probably wouldn't need it, but she accepts the hand anyway. "Thanks, Daisuke, you're a gentleman." She tells him as she gets onto the rooftop with his help. The staff soon follows and lands nearby.

She then says, "I have a blanket in the basket we can sit on" She puts the basket down and reaches in to get out the blanket, then settles it down. "Not a date or anything, but I figured the least I can do is take care of things for your kindness of lending me an ear." She sits down on the blanket and waits for Daisuke to do the same.

"I wouldn't know about that..." That might actually sound like a bit of a protest over accusations of being a gentleman, the way Daisuke says it, even as he is pulling her up with that one hand.

For his part after, he lets himself stay standing there just out of hte way to give DJamila the room to spread out the blanket. Though he does sheepishly note, "I wasn't going to assume that..." when she makes the note of this in fact not being anything like a date.

That being said, he does seem to hesitate just a little before turning down to sitting cross-legged at the edge of the spread-out cloth.

"Well..." He lets out a low sigh, and slowly tugs the hood over his head to fall back at his shoulders. "I can't say I expected to be called out to someplace like htis today, honestly. I'm guessing whatever you wanna talk about isn't... for other people's ears?"

"Well you helped me. That makes you a gentleman. I don't think you helped for the wrong reason. If I am wrong, no big deal." She grins a bit.

"Oh, I just wanted to make things clear. It does look like I am making a picnic. I don't want to send ambiguous signals or another. You get me." She smiles. "So sit. Please." She knows he ends up doing so.

"Hopefully, I didn't take you from something important. I didn't know who to talk to. My sponsor helped me let out why it happened, but there is still so much in my mind." She would frown at that point. "Kenzo and I were sparring, before my match with Junko, and in the end, I've hit him so hard. I damaged him greatly. He's in a coma, and I don't lknow what lasting effects he will have." She sniffs. "I destroyed the man I love." She shivers. "I never wanted that to happen." She pauses "I don't know how he will be when he wakes up either. I feel so horrible. There are so many things in my head about it. I know I am supposed to move on, and talk with him once he wakes up. See how he is. See if he can ever forgive me..." It is painful to say, but it has to come out.

The redhead doesn't really seem that worried about the potential misimplications of everything, right now. At least not enough to not stay there to wait and listen attentively for her to talk about what's on her mind.

And what she has on her mind hits him like a truck.

"Uh..." He's left completely speechless for a moment, all wide-eyed and everything. He has to take that moment to process everything she has said, and, well...

"That's, uh... a lot..." Yes, very observant there, Daisuke. The redhead does swallow quite nervously however after that, worrying his lower lip with his teeth uncertainly while he peeks off to the side. "I'm gonna be honest, I don't know if I'm, like... the right person to talk to about that kind of stuff. I'm not, really, like... Someone who works in that field. A fighter and all that. Though I mean..."

He pauses briefly there, lightly tapping his thumbs together over his lap. "I dunno. I guess someone else from that line of work would say something about how, like, how everyone there is prepared for that kind of possibility... I mean..." Truth is, Daisuke is not entirely sure how much he puts his own faith behind that. He's not a fan of professional fighting, in part because of that. He doesn't like people hurting each other, really.

"You don't know what to say. I can't help feeling like a monster." She shivers. "I can't talk to anyone else. You're not a friend of NFG I fought before."

She pauses a moment and takes a deep breath. "I am sorry. Maybe I shouldn't put that on you." She turns her head toward him. "I know why it happened. I know why I used too much force suddenly... Am I a monster Daisuke?" He's right. She should probably talk to someone else about it. But she can't bring herself to do so at all.

I also have to deal with the final of NFG. That's fine, though. It's not the problem. It's..." She curls up her knees to her chest, arms around them. "What if I gave Kenzo brain damage? Might have destroyed his ability to make babies. If he hadn't met me, he wouldn't be in this situation. But I love him. He will resent me, or he will forgive me. But do I deserve his forgiveness? I am a broken woman with PTSD, and that has hurt him enough." She frowns.

Another moment of silence. "I am sorry Daisuke, if you want to leave, It's ok. I maybe shouldn't talk about it. You don't need to have that on your mind."


Daisuke might very well feel like he has been put completely vulnerable underneath the spotlight of a world that he doesn't really have any valuable knowledge on.

He does very much struggle to an extent with how to process this whole problem Djamila has laid before him here. What could he possibly say indeed?

But at the same time, he... doesn't seem like he is in a hurry to get going anywhere else either. He doesn't look like he is thinking about running away.

"... I couldn't possibly tell you how he would feel," the redhead says eventually, after letting silence linger on for a good moment even after her offer to allow him to simply walk away. "Hell, I mean... I couldn't even tell you about any of the risks and philosophies or fighting or anything, but..."

He leans back slightly then, his hands settling to press against the blanket-covered cement behind him while his head tips back to stare off into the distance. The greyed-out early-winter sky, blanketed by a harsh layer of clouds.

"Something I want to ask you though. Do you think monsters usually feel guilt and pain over things they do? Do you think monsters struggle over wether or not they are monsters?"

Sh wanted someone she cares for without... It was complicated to explain what makes her choose Daisuke over Hawksley or the many people she knows in NFG or out of it. She chose him. That's all there is to it.

She's grateful he's actually not leaving. She said that for his benefit, in case he just waited for her to let him go.

"You can ask anything. I brought the subject on." She admits honestly. Then she waits.

Upon his question(s). She ponders. "No. At best, they have excuses to not care. Or at worse, they enjoy it." She shakes her head. She knows where he's getting with this. "I feel guilt. I feel worried for him. So I can't be a monster. I am certainly not the girlfriend of the year, either." She rubs her head. "I just need to be ready to leave. If it's what is best for him. But then he might push me away to try to do what's best for me. This is fucked up. But I can only blame myself for it. I know that. I just don't know how to get over it all. Maybe I just need time. Meditating didn't quite do it...

She turns her head toward him again. "Are you scared being here with me, alone, with what you know now?" She is blunt about that question.

"No," Daisuke answers almost immediately once she's asked her own question. He sounds confident enough about it, too, to suggest it's sincere.

"I mean... why would I? It's not like what happened did because you did it on purpose, right? So..." He finally turns his head enough to look sidelong to her, even if it's still left to hang back lazily. "I don't think I have any reason to be scared."

He does sigh faintly right after saying that, however, and pushes himself to a more upright posture where he's sat down, too. "Look, I.... I really wish I had some easy answer for you. But even if I wasn't completely inexperienced in relationship and didn't have personal views that probably clash with those professional fighters have, I'd... still probably have a hard time with it. I mean, thinking pragmatically about it, something like that happening is just a chance people in that field have to live with all the time, even when they are going against someone they like, but like..."

He rolls his shoulders slowly, and looks off to the side again, with growing akwardness. "I or anyone else still can't say that you shouldn't hurt. It's probably gonna hurt for a while even after he wakes up, I think. But..."

A heavier sigh, then, and he turns to give an apologetic look back to Djamila, even if she might not see it in the traditional sense. "I'm sorry, I'm... probably no help."

"I did it... instinctively, I would say. The short story anyway." She shrugs, but not because she doesn't care. "I am glad you aren't scared of me. You would have a right to or something. I had to ask, at least.

Finally after she says. "There is no answer. You can't make it right. Not in the sense you can make it so he never got hurt, or never got with me, or whatever else that could solve things. I get that, Daisuke. I don't know why I chose you, but it's working. I just..."

She poses again. "You're helping. You're listening, and you care. I am letting it out. It's not going to be solved, no. But maybe that will help with how it was too much. Then later, fighting will help. Doing my semi-final help in some ways, even if it was... it was something after the fight." She doesn't elaborate on that, even if Daisuke probably heard of it on the news or something.

"Look, I didn't choose you randomly. I didn't choose you because you would have a solution to magically solve everything either. I just wanted to talk. I felt like it had to be you. I don't know. It might not make any sense... Just be yourself, Daisuke. That's all. No miracle expect."

She doesn't know what else to add at this second. "You want a sandwich? I don't know if you got hungry. Or maybe thirsty. Don't hesitate, alright?"

"Would I have a right, though?" Daisuke asks with a slight quirk of one russet brow. "I feel like it wouldn't be fair to you if I did. Like I said, it's not something you did on purpose."

As confident as he might seem about giving that particular argument, he still looks just a tad bit akward again over Djamila's own assurances that he is helping just by listening. "Am I though...?" He even goes out and mutters out loud in his own uncertainty.

He doesn't really feel like he knows any better about what to do or say even with all those assurances. The himself that Daisuke is going to be is, unfortunately, not filled with wisdom-borne experience.

"I'm not really hungry," he tells her over the offer then, with a shake of his head, before glancing off to the side. "Thanks, though."

He's not really had much of an appetite in general the past few days, anyway.

"You feel how you feel. If you were scared, you would be. It's not about right or wrong. I don't think so anyway, but I am glad I don't scare you, anyhow.

She turns her head at him again, almost staring as if she had eyes. "You are helping. It's a bit like a weight is off of my shoulder. It's still there because I have to push through what I did. Forgive me, and see if Kenzo can forgive me. See what he wants. But talking to you helps to exteriorize things. If it makes sense. My sponsor helped too. I wish I could explain why to you. But you're helping.

Maybe, after all, she wanted everyone else she knows to be able to celebrate the coming Final and not have to know the pain she's keeping inside. But didn't Daisuke deserve the same? She can't explain.

"Ok, suit yourself. You can change your mind." She gets a sandwich and starts eating. She waits until she finishes her bite before speaking. The least she can do.

Finally. "Kenzo is my first boyfriend. I messed up everything I could mess up with him I think. All I want is to make him happy. A big failure." She takes another bite. She blames herself for a lot of things. Being a survivor has a price.

"Letting it all be heard somewhere besides just your own thoughts, right...?" Daisuke suggests. Despite being a psychic, he's not really that good at playing therapist. It might help if he tried to peek inside of Djamila's mind, but... he makes a point of not doing that with anyone for the sake of respecting people's privacy. Mental privacy.

"Well... I honestly don't know what else to do about it but wait for him to wake up," Daisuke eventually suggests then, though his tone about it is somewhat noncommittal -- perhaps owing to the fact that he, himself, realizes that he isn't able to give any proper answer to any of the worries tied to Djamila's situation.

"I think... If he's as much of a fighter as the rest of you NFG people, I think he probably wont blame you either."

"Yeah. something like that. Well said." She nods her head before taking another bite. She does her best to not speak with a mouthful. Nobody wants to see that. She would appreciate the privacy if she knew about it. But she doesn't know all there is to know about Daisuke, far from it.

Finally, she can speak again. "You are right. Ideally, I would just do that, not even worry anymore about it, until he wakes up and tells me what he wants. I can't read his mind. Wouldn't if I could, anyway. That would be even worse than hurting him, I guess." She gets lost in her thoughts, it looks like a moment.

Finally, back to the present. "Oh, Kenzo is a great fighter. No doubt about that. But..." She thinks. "But nothing, I guess. I don't know how he will feel once we talk. I need to let it out. It's not under my control. I can tell him why it happened but after that. It is his decision." She rocks herself a bit. "That's what I am doing wrong. I am worrying about something out of my control. I love Kenzo, and love isn't about pain. I just have to love him and respect his choice, whatever it may be. But I have to stop worrying. That won't influence his decision." The fact she is talking about things also allows her mind to be more objective. That's what it looks like. Of course, it's where Daisuke was taking her, too. So it's a mix of the two.

After this illumination, if one can call it that, she asks Daisuke. "How are you? You're important, too. I should have asked before I dumbed my problems and worries on you." She sighs and finishes her sandwich.

"Yeah..." Daisuke lets out a kind of tired sigh, but still, he does reach over to give a light pat onto Djamila's shoulder. Assuming she will allow him to do that much, anyway. "Torturing yourself about it too much is, I think, just going to result in you self-destructing. It's... something you're going to have to deal with eventually, yes, but until that day happens, well..."

His shoulders roll around slightly. He definitely feels like he is just making all of this up as he goes along. "Just gotta keep trying to walk forward, right?"

But when she asks about him instead? Oh. Something changes. Daisuke's eyes go... distant, almost, for the few seconds he remains looking at Djamila, until he pointedly looks *elsewhere*. Off beyond the edge of the roof, far off into the distance.

"I'm okay."

"OK, because I don't want to keep bothering with my stuff if you also have stuff that bothers you." She sighs softly. "Maybe with a meditation, I will be ready to push it away now. At least it isn't as anchored down inside me as it was." She does accept the touch on her shoulder. "I don't need to self-destruct. I didn't survive this long to fuck myself up. Counterproductive."

"Gotta push forward yea. The past can be a big weight for no reason. If we let it. We shouldn't, but some of us do."

When Daisuke acts weird and ends up saying he's okay, she sighs again. He never feels okay to her, but it's not like she wants to force him to talk to her. Like something is off. But she could also be wrong. She ends up asking. "Can I hug you? Just a 'I appreciate you' hug if you are fine with that." It will be the only time she asks. No more pressure if he refuses. Besides he's not going to growl at her while hugging her. So no risk of anything.

"You know, you're a true friend Daisuke." She says sincerely.

"Yeah, past can be..." Daisuke's words trail off for a bit. His eyes close with that, too, and he sighs a bit wistfully over that.

For just a second, his vision flashes to a certain town from ten years ago.

"...A hard thing to deal with sometimes. But I guess it is just... the past."

He doesn't entirely sound like he believes that. But for DJamila's sake, he has to at least try to sound like that's the right thing to be thinking.

When she asks if she can hug him, though? Oh, that makes him practically snap his head back to where he can look right back at her. BLinking several times over, even. He's silent for several seconds on account of how off-guard he was caught, but then, after those seconds pass, he offers kind of akwardly, "U-um, s-sure...?" Almost like he's not sure if she was just kidding with him or something.

She notices his words trailing off. She was pretty sure something happened to him. Things happen to everyone. Just nastier to some than others. She couldn't know from just that, though. "I am sorry for what happened to you in the past." It's generic because she doesn't know what. "We need to learn to forgive ourselves, I guess." She adds

She hopes one day she can help him too, but that will be his choice to share. He hasn't yet. It always has been that he is fine. So she has to go with it. Or one day, tell him straight again that she doesn't really believe. Not today, though.

She almost giggles a little with the way he acts, but she holds back. It wouldn't do right now. When he agrees to it, she moves her body and ends up huggings up, her upper body pressing against him in a warm embrace. A sort of thank you, and I care about you mixed into it. Maybe it would be easier to accept than words telling him how good he is.

"N-nothing happened," Daisuke claims instantly. It's so reflexive that it doesn't do anything at all to help the quality of the lie he has made here. He's really just hoping she won't try to pry in too much.

When she does move to actually wrapping her arms around him, Daisuke lets his eyes close for a moment. He doesn't mirror the gesture himself, but he does soon bring his hand to squeezing lightly at one of her arms with a low sigh. "I'm okay, really..." He still insists, even amidst all of that. He really is putting quite a bit of effort into keeping any emotions from welling up to the surface, right now. He really wants her to believe him, too. Of all things, this is actually making him feel *guilty*, too.

"Ok." She would frown if she could. But she doesn't have the strength to go prying right now. She notes it in her mind, though. She will come back to this one day. She will pierce the armor of Daisuke if one can call it that. But now her mind is tired. If anything, she would kick someone's ass for fun in a friendly spar, but she doesn't want to do that to Daisuke, he's been really nice to her, and he's not a fighter.

She keeps the hug going for a little bit, and then she releases him "One day Daisuke, I will help you. But right now, I am not the best to do it. But be prepared." It sounds like a kind of warning, even if it's not what she wanted to make it sound like.

"I think I am going to go. Unless you want to share something. But otherwise, I've been sitting on my ass, lamenting about myself enough. I need to move. Also, call me if I can do anything for you.".

She gets another sandwich, this time for Daisuke, giving it to him. "For later if you want one. If not, you can always give it to someone else." She then stands, though if he asks her to stay, she will.

Daisuke lets his hand let go when she starts pulling back, too, falling back limply onto his lap while she's giving him space.

"I'm fine," he still keeps insisting with Djamila's continued insistence of helping him eventually, even if he does give her a vaguely tired smile to go with it. "I'm... glad I was hable to help somehow, though." Even if it did mostly come in the form of him just sitting htere to listen to her.

Though Daisuke clearly wants to help other people a lot, at the same time he also clearly simply can't bring himself to open up to other people very well. It's not entirely clear if he himself realizes just how unhealthy that is.

"O-oh... No, I'm good..." He tells her, both on wether he wants to share anything, and on the sandwich. Though he does still end up taking the sandwich -- it's really hard to give a hard refusal to it at that point. She is right, he can at least give it to someone else.

"WEll... for what it's worth, you can call me again if I can do anything for you," he offers to Djamila right after that, too, after wrapping the snadwich properly for transport. "Though... I'm not sure how long I will be in Metro anymore. What with... Well, the NFG probably being over soon, and..." Everything that is going on with Juri. But it's probably for the best he doesn't bring *that* up.

She felt like she was making it worse at the moment, and she didn't think she had the mind to help him like he deserved.

"Fine, I will take that as an answer for now. I appreciate you anyway." She gives him a genuine smile when he says he is glad he was able to help her. He really did. She wants him to know that.

She is glad he ends up taking it, despite saying he's good. Hopefully, he will take a bite, but she's not his mother, so she can't force him.

"Thanks Daisuke I will keep that in mind. If Kenzo still wants to be with me, I won't be in Metro City for long after either. Guess we will see."

She sighs. "Take care Daisuke. Thanks again." She takes every thing, then when it's settled, she tries something. She simply jumps off the roof.

Log created on 10:19:09 12/09/2023 by Djamila, and last modified on 07:30:48 12/10/2023.