Match of the Millennium

Description: Tamaki and Iris go at it in Natural Earth. Fewer (but not zero) displays are destroyed this time.

[IRIS]
LAST TIME ON MOTM: THE NEXT GENERATION

Amber the fighting cheerleader's face stares out from the viewscreen, partially obscured by her heavy cyborg faceplate. "We are Bimbotus, of Metal. From this time forward, you will, like... service... us."

The camera pans slowly around Commander Osterlund, who stares impassively back. "Mister Nanny... fire."

AND NOW, THE CONCLUSION:

"Fire what, ducky?" comes the inexplicably coloratura voice of Iris's bulky Nanny, from another room in her hotel suite, as the British wizard jerks awake in her chair with a start. "Nanny is happy to make you something to eat if you be peckish, young miss."

Groaning, Iris hauls herself out of the sadly quite comfortable chair in which she had fallen asleep just now, rubbing her eyes and muttering -- hopefully well out of Nanny's earshot -- "that's it, no more staying with wine and streaming services the night before an important event."

Thankfully, her nosferatu-ish butler Oglesby appears at Iris's side, holding out her bag and a travel cup of some drink, likely coffee given the steam rising from it. "Good luck, Miss," he intones, trying to sound enthused despite his misgivings about this whole 'fighting professionally' thing. "I've made you a mocha to go. You'd best hurry."

As the door shuts behind a grateful Iris, Nanny's voice followed her out to the hall. "Did she want that American barbecue, you think?"

ONE EXTENDED PUBLIC TRANSIT MONTAGE LATER:

As Iris drains the last of her coffee and starts to finally feel a little bit more awake/sober than she did 20 minutes ago, she tosses the cup in a sidewalk trash can and steps into the food store, giving little waves to the various NFG officials and finding the place that MUST be set aside for fighters' belongings or +1s and setting down her bag. "Didn't this place get beat to hell the last time there was a fight in here?" she mutters, looking around and briefly adjusting the silver runed torc around her neck in a little nervous displacement gesture. "I suppose it could be worse. We could be at that car dealership with that slimeball having us get our tits out for some reason."

[TAMAKI]
Tamaki has a very flexible relationship with time, in that she doesn't really care about any unit of measurement shorter than an hour or so. She is also lazy and easily distracted. Getting her to arrive on time for just about anything is an impossible task. The NFG has generally managed her by giving her a time well before she's actually intended to be there.

And yet, somehow, *somehow*, today she managed it.

When Iris shows up, Tamaki is already there, and has gotten a little bag of organic peanuts (which she paid for, THANK YOU). This is very obvious because she doesn't bother taking them out of the shell and is thus eating them extremely loudly. The crunching carries throughout the store, though it quiets down when Iris shows up because Tamaki *also* likes to talk.

"Maybe it's a 'loss leader'," she says, in the tone that suggests she barely understands the term but has heard it somewhere and it sounds correct. "And in any case, the biggest problem with the car dealership for *me* was my opponent. I'm sure it would be better with someone like you."

She gives Iris a lookover. Her gaze lingers on the torc, and her ears flick. "If you're going to exorcise me with that, you're going to be disappointed," she says, with a slight smile. "I'd say 'or exercise' but I think I am going to get that today, ha ha!"

Tamaki holds up the bag. "Peanut?" she offers.

[IRIS]
Trained as human senses are to follow sensory stimuli, the sound of someone crunching on a peanut (pretty literally) and speaking does make Iris turn around to look at who spoke, and when she does, there is a moment of... well. The British sorceress narrows her eyes for a second, as if she were trying to see something far off in the distance she needs to squint at, but as quickly as it came, that passes and her expression goes back to normal. "*Oh*," is all she says aloud, in the tone of someone getting a joke about 45 seconds after it was told.

Stretching for a second, Iris nods at nothing, then inclines her head a little to the side as she responds to Tamaki. "Hey, just so I know and don't say anything stupid, is..." And here, she puts her hands up as if she's making airquotes, but she does it right at her temples, a position that the observant might recognize as where manga artists put the cat ears on a catgirl. "...this a secret?" Who knows if the people watching in the store will catch on to her meaning, but it is at the very least her way of saying 'I understand what you are, sort of'.

Regardless, once she has her answer, Iris looks around the store and chuckles to herself. "Emphasis on the 'loss', I guess," she observes, eyes drifting slowly over a few wooden fruit display cases that have the words 'hastily reconstructed' written all over them. "One of these days I'm going to start a--" And here she mouths the words 'mystical' to Tamaki without saying them aloud, "--food store and call it 'Unreal Earth' as a competitor. We'll make millions."

COMBATSYS: Iris has started a fight here.

[\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  <
Iris             0/-------/-------|

COMBATSYS: Tamaki has joined the fight here.

[\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  //////////////////////////////]
Tamaki           0/-------/-======|-------\-------\0             Iris

[TAMAKI]
Tamaki looks right back at Iris. If she's doing anything, it doesn't show.

When Iris puts her hands up to indicate ears, Tamaki wiggles her own, which are actually in similar spots (perhaps a little further out), and then laughs. "I have not been shy," she says. "Yes, I am a bake-danuki, and no, I do not think everyone believes me, even if you do. I said so in my interview, but some people still think it is a trick! But it's fine. If I don't want to be identified, I won't be." She says this with complete self-confidence.

Self-confidence comes a little easier when you can look like, more or less, whatever you like. It's not like she's actually human-shaped, after all.

And then she laughs. "Unreal Earth! I like that. Though it's real enough for me if I can eat it." She takes one last peanut, crunching through the shell loudly before she tosses the empty packet in the general direction of a trash can. It doesn't quite get there, though it's about to be the least of the trash problems if they start fighting in here.

Which, in fact, they are. The cameras are in place, the official representative watching, the crowd that always seems to be present at an event like this getting as close as they're allowed to - and the traditional bell sounds. Tamaki gives it about two seconds before she steps, pivoting about halfway so her side faces Iris. Her tail lifts and flicks, a blob of roughly shaped chi detaching from the last third or so and rushing toward Iris in a vaguely oblong shape!

Tamaki finishes her step, adopting a lazy stance afterwards. It looks too casual to fight in, and very loose.

COMBATSYS: Tamaki successfully hits Iris with Swaying Tail.

[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  /////////////////////////     ]
Tamaki           1/------=/=======|===----\-------\0             Iris

[IRIS]
Well, those are either excellent prosthetics, or the answer is yes, which does make Iris smile faintly. "Well. I don't have the faintest idea what a... you know I'm going to do Japan a solid and not try to pronounce that word poorly," says UN Ambassador Osterlund, "but I can get the gist. I'm a little more used to dealing with, ah..." She pauses, clearly lost in thought for a moment, before shrugging. "I think if I mention them by name my life is gonna get messier than I'm interested in it being right now. I'm sure you understand."

The first rule of Seelie Court is that we do not talk about Seelie Court.

But then the fight is actually like, starting-starting, and Iris has to deal with a... well, frankly she doesn't know what that is. This is probably why she squares off with the incoming chi blob like a soccer goalie, which is almost certainly the wrong mindset, because a goalie is attempting to CATCH the ball and what Iris should be doing is AVOIDING the ball, which she spectacularly fails to do at the very last second, getting an orb to the face, snapping her head back a bit. There's a brief pause, before she leans forward, and then straightens. "Bloody ow," is all she can think of to say.

The apparent laziness of Tamaki's stance is of no consequence to somebody who is mostly making it up as she goes along, truly, but when Iris suddenly swings forward on the attack, it's not COMPLETELY incompetent-seeming. Ducking in low, the British wizard swings her arm (and empty hand) around, which suddenly manifests, right before it would impact the tanuki, a one-handed mace in that empty hand in a burst of rainbow sparks, the mace head itself swirling with frost. Apparently Iris is committed to this, however, because the swing turns itself into a second, and then a third swing, all rather more smoothly connected than one might expect, a new weapon appearing each time: the mace followed by a gladius crackling with lightning, and finally a flail that emits a burst of wind on contact.

COMBATSYS: Tamaki dodges Iris' Teiwaz - Justicar's Mercy ES.

[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ///////////////////////       ]
Tamaki           1/------=/=======|===----\-------\0             Iris

[TAMAKI]
"Ah, well, you are European, so I wouldn't expect you to know. Don't call me the same as a kitsune and we will still get along fine." Tamaki doesn't know a damn thing about Seelie courts, so they're even, anyway.

But, yes, the fight is starting-starting. Tamaki's first attack came quickly, but there's no immediate follow-up because, well, Iris isn't the only one making it up as she goes along! So Tamaki hangs back, and when Iris comes in for a strike - no, not one strike but a series of them...

Tamaki leans back so far it looks like she's going to tip over backwards, the frozen mace brushing past the hem of her shirt. She rises, but with a weaving, staggering step that makes her a frustrating target. Iris seems to want to stay in close, and Tamaki does too, using her proximity and her erratic, evasive maneuvers to keep one (metaphorical) step ahead of the weaponry.

When her attack comes, it's when she's moved about halfway around Iris, and she plants her arm across Iris' shoulders like they were close friends. That, in itself is nothing - but she tries to lever her down to the ground with the movement, a friendly grip that turns into a throw down.

"That power *is* impressive, though. Why, I could never do anything like that!" It's true, too - it's exactly the wrong style for Tamaki.

COMBATSYS: Iris blocks Tamaki's Everybody's Friend.

[  \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  //////////////////////        ]
Tamaki           1/----===/=======|====---\-------\0             Iris

[IRIS]
Well, that... didn't go as planned. But at the very least, Iris is STARTING to develop the instinct for fighting that comes with practical application rather than practice and theory. Plus her style has one advantage compared to other weapon-wielders: once she's attacked with something, off it vanishes into the aether (or portable hole or whatever D&D-esque excuse there is for her weapon summoning magic), meaning she can often react just a little bit faster.

Thus, when the drunken racoon youkai decides to get Real Friendly, Iris has had a second to mentally prepare herself for it. She doesn't try to get out of the way; rather, when Tamaki pushes her toward the ground, rather than stiffen, she tries to let her body go limp, so that on her way to the ground, the Brit suddenly looks like she's about to try and bend backward, like a gymnast doing a bridge, before rolling back and putting some distance between the two fighters.

A few feet away, the wizard gets to her feet, acknowledging Tamaki's... was it a compliment? One imagines it COULD be, in the right lighting and wearing the right outfit. "Thanks," Iris says, bringing up one hand, palm up. "I worked hard to learn those skills."

Oh right: in said raised hand is the handle of a bullwhip. In the Looney Tunes version of this fight, the camera follows the length of the whip itself down and across the floor to find that while she was, shall we say, 'escaping' that throw, the mage summoned the weapon and let it lie there, meaning all she has to do NOW is make a snap motion with her wrist, attempting to snag it instantly around Tamaki's ankles and send her crashing to the floor. Or maybe into a nearby stand full of avocados. Or something.

Which is totally what she does, by the way.

COMBATSYS: Tamaki blocks Iris' Medium Throw.

[    \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  //////////////////////        ]
Tamaki           1/----===/=======|====---\-------\0             Iris

[TAMAKI]
Tamaki beams. Maybe it really was a compliment.

But during her attempts at pushing Iris down, Tamaki is surprised to see her catch herself like that; it takes both flexibility and intuitiveness, most people either go down or simply resist her with strength. (Tamaki is not, physically, all that strong in raw poundage lifted. It's mostly leverage.)

But her gaze is drawn to the whip in Iris' hand. "Ah," she says, just a moment before Iris snags it around her ankles.

And that does indeed happen. Tamaki barely even tries to stop it; she instead turns so that she doesn't land on her gourd tokkuri and curls up. She curls up a lot, in fact, to the point that when she does hit the ground she actually starts to roll, redirecting the throw and turning into a repeated forward somersault at Iris to basically slam into her lower legs and bowl her over. The fruit stands are saved from disaster! (Briefly! Because THAT certainly won't last.)

Whether she hits or not, it leaves Tamaki sprawled on her back, dizzy from spinning end-over-end. "Houf," she huffs out, less a word and more just a sound effect. She reaches for her jug, uncorks it, tries to take a swig and misses, splashing what smells like sake across her throat and collarbone.

COMBATSYS: Tamaki successfully hits Iris with Medium Kick.

[   \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  //////////////////            ]
Tamaki           1/---====/=======|=======\-------\0             Iris

[IRIS]
This is truly not going Iris's way, this fight. The whip thing was a gamble that sort of paid off, but nowhere in the various combat manuals she's read and self-defense classes she's taken was there anything about how to defend against a youkai going full Sonic the Hedgehog at you inside a grocery store. Squinting, Iris shrugs, and decides the best thing to do is to make a sprightly step backwards.

This would work great, if there weren't a display right behind her that she didn't notice, because her last attack on Tamaki didn't require turning around.

The Brit has a moment to turn her head, go "Aw, sh--" and then Tamaki literally knocks her INTO THE DISPLAY, all of which goes down on top of her with a vaguely plastic-sounding rattling sound. At least it wasn't canned goods, right?

For a moment, there is nothing but silence and debris, before Iris erupts out of what appears to be a stack of bottles of chai-flavored bottled ice tea like an Arrakis sandworm.

"Okay. I think I need... a second, here." She doesn't go back on the offensive. She DOES, however, grab a bottle of the tea and accidentally makes like her opponent, uncapping it and taking a big swig before wiping her mouth and tossing the empty bottle over her shoulder. "Not bad but I don't know that I'd drink that WARM again, ugh."

COMBATSYS: Iris gains composure.

[   \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  //////////////////////        ]
Tamaki           1/---====/=======|======-\-------\0             Iris

[TAMAKI]
Tamaki manages to hit her mouth on the second attempt.

Only then does she sit up, looking at the pile of ... display debris that Iris has vanished into. "Ah," she says, before raising her voice. "Everything all right in there? Is there anything good in the pile?"

Iris erupts in a fountain of fortunately still-bottled ice chai. A lot of the bottles are rolling. Tamaki absently stops one with her bare foot, though she doesn't pick it up, just guides it gently to one side and lets it start rolling again.

"Take your time. I'd rather have some fun than strike you when you're down!" Tamaki's tail flicks behind her, then puffs up - it ends up several times its original size, an enormous mass of fluffy fur and, presumably, tailstuff. Curling it up, Tamaki flops on it like it was a bean bag, simply waiting for Iris to come to her. She gives her food opinions while she's down: "Personally, I think chai should be taken hot, but I'm willing to try it cold. Lukewarm, though - that's just madness."

This looks very non-menacing, but given she has her entire tail coiled beneath her, she can spring up in a *hurry*. Probably.

COMBATSYS: Tamaki focuses on her next action.

[   \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  //////////////////////        ]
Tamaki           1/---====/=======|======-\-------\0             Iris

[IRIS]
It had to be that fight with Amber, who Iris realized after the fact was just a clueless dipstick that didn't understand the double entendres in what she was saying. It's just one of those things; everything the tanuki is saying, *if taken at face value*, is perfectly reasonable... but could just as easily be taken in a completely different, insulting way.

For a second, Iris has to stop and reorient herselfm pressing some fingers into her temples, before suddenly giving out a sharp laugh and shaking her head. "I joked with Genie that they don't tell you how much getting punched in the head hurts," she observes with a smile that has some resignation in it. "But they don't tell you about the little emotional adjustments you have to make, either."

Tamaki waxes about her chai preferences, and Iris laughs. "I'm not a tea drinker, which feels like blasphemy to say with this accent," the Brit observes. "Thankfully I'm half American so I can get away with it." Picking up a bottle of chai, she seemingly runs a finger over the ingredient list and label for a moment, before shrugging and turning back to the tanuki. "It could have been worse, though. Try a sip."

Then she chucks the bottle at Tamaki.

HOWEVER, IN SLOW MOTION REPLAY:

A camera BEHIND Iris observes that her apparent finger movement was, in fact, tracing a rune on the label, which flashes a very faint purple before disappearing. This is why, despite this attack seeming to be incredibly stupid -- a bottle of chai is not going to hurt Tamaki, especially not a plastic bottle -- the result, if not avoided, is actually a lot worse: on contact, the bottle quite literally explodes into a huge burst of ball lightning.

COMBATSYS: Tamaki reflects Thurisaz - Mjolnir's Echo from Iris with Ponpoko Beat.
? Strange Hit! ?

[   \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ////////////////////          ]
Tamaki           1/--=====/=======|======-\-------\0             Iris

[TAMAKI]
Tamaki can do double entendres too. She just didn't feel like it at the moment. But she is sometimes insulting... it's surprising other people don't always notice.

But not always. Sometimes she really just is in it to have fun. She does seem to be enjoying the fight, certainly. "I try not to get punched in the face," Tamaki says, "but really it happens more than you'd expect anyway." She's still 'lounging' on her tail, though the way it's positioned makes her seem a little ready to strike.

And Iris obliges her by tossing her a chai. It COULD be an innocent thing, she supposes, but Tamaki is magical herself and she can feel the rune; it makes her fur prickle with electrical potential. Which is a good trick, because she mostly doesn't have fur right now, though there's always her tail.

She rises as if preparing to catch it - but instead she thumps her belly, hard, with her slightly cupped hand. Instead of the sound you might expect from this, it makes a dull booming sound like a bass drum - and at the same instant, a wave of chi rolls away from her. It doesn't go far, only a couple feet. Iris is in no danger of being struck by the chi directly, though it does send nearby bottles rolling.

But the bottle of chai was aimed directly at Tamaki's midsection, as she didn't move any hands to catch it, and it gets there just as the chi blasts out of her, to all appearances simply bouncing right back off as it's sent it right back where it came, trailing a contrail of flickering purple and faded white from the mixed energies. Behind it, Tamaki laughs. "I'll get my own later - and heated, thank you! But it was kind of you to offer!"

COMBATSYS: Tamaki successfully hits Iris with Reflected Thurisaz - Mjolnir's Echo.

[   \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  /////////////////             ]
Tamaki           1/=======/=======|=======\-------\1             Iris

[IRIS]
Okay, well... that was not how Iris expected this to go.

So now the bottle is coming back her way. Fine. Now it's got extra momentum from whatever the hell Tamaki just did to it. Also fine. Just take a breath, block it, and move on with your life. Shouldn't be so hard, right?

And then on instinct, Iris CATCHES the bottle.

It's not as if she can just turn off her own spell. This means for a moment, the wizard is sitting there holding an electrified bottle of chai tea. Okay, fine. The additional problem is that there truly is nothing to do with it but sit there and WAIT IT OUT, meaning the Brit has to just grit her teeth and bear it. Or at least... that's what her instinct is, until something clicks in her brain.

Presumably, magical lightning should ground itself just like any other electrical force, but in fact, what happens is that the lightning *continues coursing through Iris's body*, apparently, a sort of blue-purple loop of thunder circulating around her.

In one swift motion, the wizard chucks bottle #2 over her shoulder (and ignores the sudden zapping sound as it takes out a cooler full of frozen food), before another whip appears in her hand. No tricksy sneak attack, this time. Instead she just swings it to try and snag any bit of Tamaki that's convenient: leg, arm, tail, doesn't matter.

If she can actually manage that -- which, given how untouchable Tamaki has been so far, admittedly doesn't seem likely -- Iris simply HAULS on the line and slams the Tanuki into the ground... shortly before letting that stored-up electricity flow out of her, through the whip, and into Tamaki herself.

COMBATSYS: Tamaki dodges Iris' Inguz - Druid's Ritual ES.

[   \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ///////////////               ]
Tamaki           1/=======/=======|=======\=------\1             Iris

[TAMAKI]
That lightning isn't doing at all what Tamaki expected it to. She watches, fascinated, as Iris successfully fields the electrified, chi-energized chai bottle and just holds it, at least for a few moments.

Well, and then throws it away. Really, Earth Foods should expect things to spill, break, or explode at this point; Tamaki certainly does, which is why when she looks over at the now-damaged cooler it's only for a few moments. She still seems relatively casual in stance, but she's paying attention to Iris - if she doesn't stay on the top of her game those spells are going to hurt.

When the whip comes, Tamaki decides to do the thing Iris is probably least expecting: charge it.

Well, charge in anyway. Her tail returning to its normal size with no particular fanfare, Tamaki rushes forward! If rushes is the right word, because she still uses weaving, shifting steps and an erratically timed gait - she's just doing it faster. The whip doesn't manage to tangle her, though it does catch her lower leg on one of its flicks, which is more stinging than anything else and does get her to flinch momentarily. It also makes her stumble, but given her normal movement it's not all that much of a change.

Catching herself, she makes one last leap at Iris, trying to literally bowl her over and tumble with her. They *are* definitely going into one of those repaired fruit stands as they roll (if she doesn't manage to bring Iris with her, Tamaki will end up there all by herself, but Tamaki's actual goal is to get her legs up and drive them into Iris' stomach, launching her upward and into the air!

Also, Tamaki's laughing, but that seems to be normal behavior. At least someone's having fun.

COMBATSYS: Tamaki successfully hits Iris with Hair of the Raccoon-Dog.

[   \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  /////////                     ]
Tamaki           0/-------/=======|=======\=====--\1             Iris

[IRIS]
Iris is very definitely not laughing.

Her fighting career has not been long, and each fight she's had so far has been a learning experience, even the ones that haven't gone well, but she is fighting tooth and nail, internally, against the lesson of this fight being "don't bother." Nothing she has done so far has had any effect on her tanuki opponent, either offensively or defensively, and her attempt to slip away from this latest assault is no different, the kick sending the Brit up into the air and, on her way back down, through a shelf full of cereal boxes.

Refracted through the lens of her frustration, Tamaki's laughter isn't helping her mood, either; even if it's just the tanuki apparently having fun, from Iris's perspective, well... it's extremely easy to read that a completely different way.

When she emerges from a pile of cereal boxes ("Crunchun-lis, the cereal with a kick!"), wiping a trickle of blood from the corner of the mouth, the wizard simply stands her ground, bringing a hand up and rubbing a crick in the back of her neck. "Fine. If this is how I'm going out, I'm going out big."

COMBATSYS: Iris focuses on her next action.

[   \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  /////////                     ]
Tamaki           0/-------/=======|=======\=====--\1             Iris

[TAMAKI]
Unlike Iris, who got thrown into crunchy cereal boxes, Tamaki ended up slamming into - as predicted - the repaired fruit stand at the end of her roll.

Unfortunately for her, she hit relatively squishy fruit and so when she comes up for air it's out of a pile of berries, a lot of which have splattered her. She looks like a disaster zone in red and blue from strawberries, raspberries, blueberries, and one bunch of blackberries.

"Ah, perhaps I should have prepared a bath!" she laughs at herself, as she steps up out of it. There's a strawberry sitting right on her head, between her ears, which she either hasn't noticed or doesn't care about because she leaves it right there.

Bending down, she picks up her tokkuri from the pile, opens it up, and takes a swig as Iris prepares herself. Privately, she wants to see what Iris has up her sleeve (possibly metaphorically speaking), but she doesn't say that because she has nettled Iris enough for the moment and, while Tamaki can be a tremendous jerk if she thinks it's funny, she's not usually malicious.

So what she actually does is step forward, giving Iris only a moment to unleash whatever she's got if she wants to do it before Tamaki gets there; her first few steps are steady, straight, and fast, but then she puts a foot crosswise, weaves backwards, and then pivots forward with a left hook that has the entire (not insubstantial) weight of her body behind it!

COMBATSYS: Iris fails to interrupt Fierce Punch from Tamaki with Ansuz - Gungnir ES.

[   \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  /                             ]
Tamaki           0/-------/=======|=======\-------\1             Iris

COMBATSYS: Iris has reached second wind!

[   \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  /                             ]
Tamaki           0/-------/=======|=======\-------\1             Iris

[IRIS]
The pattern continues, at the very least. Sadly, Tamaki doesn't get to see anything cool; she comes in with another unpredictable-seeming drunken punch, and all that really happens is a faint flickering glow around Iris's right hand for a moment that... well, instantly goes out once she gets punched in the face for the thousandth time in this fight. The Brit sways backwards, a little, and it seems like she's about to fall over backwards and this is all gonna come to a close...

In her mind's eye, though, the wizard sees a young woman with brown hair in a severe bun, a pair of black rectangular glasses on her face; everything about her shouts 'severe librarian'.

A LONG TIME AGO, IN CAMBRIDGE, UNITED KINGDOM

A middle school-age Iris looks down at her empty hand, as if something's supposed to be there that isn't. "Cel, I can't do this, okay? Just accept that I can't."

The severe-looking older girl shrugs. "Then don't. You don't have to."

Child Iris gives her a skeptical look, as if that answer was both unexpected and suspicious.

'Cel' quirks her frown-inclined mouth into a tight little smile. "This is magic. The world won't end if you don't learn how to use it. So no, you don't have to." She reaches out a hand herself, an antique longbow appearing in her grasp with a burst of hunter green light. "The question," she continues, looking back at Iris, "is: do you WANT to?"

NOW

The heel of her foot drops into place and the stumbling, about to fall over Iris comes to a complete stop, and with what must seem like a complete non-sequitur to anyone listening, says: "Yeah. I DO want to."

[TAMAKI]
Tamaki feels her fist hit but continues the follow-through, sending her staggering a step past Iris and to one side before she gets her other foot down and spins on it. Her tail nearly brushes Iris as she goes.

Tamaki often looks like she's making it up as she goes along (or, uncharitably, like she doesn't know what she's doing) but she's actually bothered to put in practice the last while, under pressure from her NFG team, and it shows. Even if it still does look a bit random.

Or a lot random. She wasn't expecting to actually hit Iris and the impact put her off balance, both mentally and physically, so her pivot is more than just a spin - she's actually catching herself. Close as she is, Tamaki isn't going to give Iris much of a chance to recover, and she turns her staggering spin into a staggering strike, letting herself go through a *second* rotation and smacking Iris' legs with her tail.

Tamaki's tail, unenhanced, is not exactly the most powerful blow in the world and it wouldn't be a very effective attack, but it is enough for her to follow it up with an open hand palm strike at Iris' midsection, half-striking and half a simple push.

"Good!" is Tamaki's only statement. No, she can't read Iris' mind, and she doesn't know *what* Iris wants to do, but it doesn't really matter. Always do exactly what you want to. More people would be happier if they just did that.

COMBATSYS: Iris endures Tamaki's Stumbling Swing.

[    \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >                                ]
Tamaki           1/-------/=======|=======\===----\1             Iris

[IRIS]
Probably the big question a lot of observers of this fight might have on their minds, at the moment, is: how is she even still standing? The truth is, Iris is probably asking herself that right now, too. For the moment, though, the answer is something to worry about in the morning. Right now, there's raccoons to worry about. Considering the needle has been wavering over 'E' for a while now, it shouldn't come as any surprise that the Brit gets bowled over by the tail attack, leaving her vulnerable to the palm strikes.

Or it would, anyway, if Iris didn't suddenly throw both hands out and catch Tamaki's incoming wrists like the grips on a gymnastic pommel horse.

It's enough to keep her standing, wobbly though the grip is, and it gives her... well. She is just close enough to try and suddenly ram her knee forward into the tanuki's stomach. Considering the severe beating she's received so far, Tamaki will probably walk out of this as completely unscathed as she has from everything else. If she doesn't, though...

COMBATSYS: Iris can no longer fight.

[    \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  <
Tamaki           1/-------/=======|

COMBATSYS: Tamaki dodges Iris' Hagalaz - Ragnarok ES.

[    \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  <
Tamaki           1/-------/=======|

But alas, it wasn't meant to be, and Iris falls over. The end!

[TAMAKI]
Iris suddenly grabs Tamaki's wrists, pulling herself up and neatly evading the palm strikes in the bargain.

Tamaki is surprised by this, but not entirely in a bad way. She sways backwards, overbalanced by suddenly having to deal with Iris' weight as well as her own. Iris was intending to put her knee in Tamaki's stomach, but instead she finds herself falling forward with Tamaki (well, Tamaki is falling backwards, but it's the same idea).

Tamaki hits the ground tail-first, which she uses to push the rest of her body so that she ends up landing on her side. Iris plants her knee solidly on Tamaki's tail instead, which gets her to yelp and flail it, smacking the floor in an undignified manner, until it's free.

She stays there on her side for a few moments before rolling to a sitting position, still covered in berry juice. Iris seems out of it, but, well... "Drink?" she offers, not expecting it to be (able to be) taken up.

That's her way of saying 'it was a good match even if it didn't always feel like it' to Iris.

Log created on 15:24:06 07/20/2023 by Tamaki, and last modified on 12:55:35 07/23/2023.