Match of the Millennium

Description: Buford and Tamaki have their match at a car dealership. Words are exchanged, then not exchanged, as Tamaki loses her patience. (also, down with kitsune)

[BUFORD]
Buford was certainly struggling to keep up with the tournament.

After his accident in the last fight, where he was dragged under a bus, he had barely enough time to recover between his fights. Here at the George Eddow Ford Dealership, standing amongst the pristine new models for 2023 within the spacious interior of concrete and glass, the Canadian was out of his usual Samurai uniform. Garbed in some of the hand-me-downs of the Mad Gear. A white shirt was stretched over his large belly, the Big Bull special, and a set of suspenders kept his slacks on. He almost felt naked; though at least he had a broad brimmed Fedora on to keep his confidence intact. But worst of all, his vapor blade?

It would not vapor.

Buford was on edge, uncertain how her would be handle his opponent, another beautiful woman, when his equipment was not up to form. And if his experience with women had reflected anything so far, they were some of the most dangerous opponents he could face. He rubs his scruffy neck hairs warily, as he rests his back against a F-150 Pickup Truck. He didn't know when the strange Tamaki, the so called bake-danuki, would be coming, or how she would make her appearance. But if she really was a tanuki person thing, well...

He had to be steeled against any wiles she might inflict on him.

[TAMAKI]
Tamaki had stayed out of sight since her last fight, too. If she had been recovering from the rather... messy affair that fighting JD had turned into, she'd been doing it on her own time; her teammates might have seen her, but certainly nobody else had.

But that doesn't mean she's abandoned the tournament. And it doesn't mean she's going to turn down the chance to play a little prank on Buford either!

A few moments ago, Tamaki wasn't there at all, or at least not anywhere Buford could see her. But rather suddenly, she is; lounging on the hood of a red car, one leg lazily crossed over the other. She looks much same as she always presents herself during a battle: messy brown-red hair with her ears poking out, ringed tail.

But this time she has the figure of a bikini model instead of her usual slightly chubby appearance and is also completely unselfconsciously wearing a pair of really, really short daisy duke shorts and a tight green T-shirt when she raises one hand and wiggles her fingers in a wave. "I heard you were waiting for me, and I thought I'd show up nice and early!" She absolutely picked the outfit to try to tweak Buford's nose (metaphorically); whether she expects him to be flustered, irritated, or confused is a good question. Maybe she's waiting to see which one happens.

[BUFORD]
Buford almost leaps out of his suspenders, when Tamaki suddenly presents herself.

Bouncing up, he turns around, and promptly bugs his eyes out. Face turning a shade of crimson, his jaw unslacks, his fat tongue somewhat cocked into the side of his mouth as he gapes. He was prepared for many things with his online preparations, but a racoon girl in a tight top and short shorts? Well yes he had prepared for many things. But to actually see it in the real world with a figure that too large to fit in his hand or his screen, well, it almost imploded his brain. It is only through the strength he had found by facing his previous opponents, the Nixies, the Chevies, the Sarahs, the Ichika, and yes even a bit from his encounter with Brian Storm, that he is able to shake his comatose trance enough to elegantly respond to Tamaki's introductions. %
"M-my lady, I mean, M'lady."

Buford sputters, averting his eyes as he blushes a bright shade of crimson. He gives a swift bow, body absolutely rigid. "Your earliness is certainly a consideration! I am- oh, it's, ears- tails- fluff, short shorts-" He grips the hilt of his blade with both hands. He was already antsy; his hilt was not capable of ventilating directly into his mouth and lungs as before. And yet, as he holds his hilt in the presence of the cheeky Tamaki, he felt a sort of calm wash over him. He raises his head, cast his eyes up at Tamaki.

He fails to meet her eyes, locking instead on her lovely pair of ears.

"It is an honor to meet you face to face, a fighter as lovely and- and as bold as you are. But such garments will hardly act as armor against my blade. I must warn you, a man with a noble samurai spirit such as my own will not fall as easy as the cherry blossoms." He tips his fedora to his opponent, as he steps away from the truck. "I have studied not just the blade, but all kinds of wily racoon types in online scenarios. I have researched a wide range of cartoons and even a well renown Virtual Fightubers with racoony elements." The confidence wavers a moment, as he gives a small whimper as he releases one hand from the hilt, scratching the curly hairs on his neck before wiping his sweat from his cheeks "... Though you are no racoon, m'lady, I am c-certain it can help me handle your unique skillset."

Buford swallows noisily, as his averts his eyes downward once more.

[TAMAKI]
Tamaki knows exactly when her ears are being looked at. This is pretty clear - she makes one of them flick, cat-like - even though that isn't even a raccoon instinct and is closer to a human wiggling their ear than anything else.

She was predisposed to dislike Buford but right now she's more amused than anything else. She laughs, which is a bit of a belly laugh that doesn't quite suit her current look, but that's how it goes. "A bake-danuki isn't a raccoon, but a tanuki - though at least you tried! I have to give you at least that much."

Tamaki slides off the car hood, landing lightly on her bare feet and pacing toward Buford. She doesn't bow. She just looks up at him like he's caught her interest. "Though I don't think cartoons will save you! Or a..."

Tamaki momentarily pauses. And she completely loses the act when she asks, sounding more than a little confused, "What is a 'virtual Fightuber'?"

[BUFORD]
At the flick of the ears, Buford can't help but redden.

Of course, when he is corrected, he brings his fedora over his eyes in shame. And to say that his cartoons would not save him, why, this tanuki was practically like his mother. Buford tries his best to control his powerful samurai emotions, especially at the shame, even as Tamaki closes in on him. It's only when she pauses, and gives that strange change in tone, when he is able to control himself. Was she... asking him a question?

About one of his hobbies?

"Why M'lady, I would be happy to explain to you!" Buford brightens up, lifting the fedora back up from over his eyes. "See there are a number of people who go in front of an online camera, and give all kinds of commentary on the latest fighters and fights in the world. While a number of them are fair and handsome, some are instead blessed with a remarkable voice and somewhat, well, unimaginative appearances." Buford chortles a bit, smirking as he laughs at his own comments. "So rather than present their appearances as they are, why, they sort of create an avatar, an image to represent them. And with the latest breakthroughs in technology in capturing the movements of people, why, they become a sort of illusion, a sort of transformation. And some of these people choose to transform into a rather beastly figure, why, not unlike yourself!" Buford adjusts his fedora cheekily, the Canadian slowly but steadily regaining his composure. "I apologize again for conflating you with raccoons, though. I am much more familiar with kitsunes than tanukis I am afraid, in terms of beguiling shapeshifters! But it's no big deal." Buford instinctively brings his hilt to his lips, before frowning, the hilt giving a buzzing clicking noise.

"I suppose other than the tails and ears, they are practically the same anyways."

[TAMAKI]
Now Tamaki knows what a Fightuber is!

For someone who enjoys living among humans so much, she is a few years behind the times. Living on the street will do that. In her mind, it's still the mid-90s when she started hanging out in cities on a more regular basis. But once she learns about technology, she's always been interested in it.

"Ah, I see!" Tamaki says, approvingly. "Perhaps I should watch these Fightubers myself. They do sound interesting!"

But then Buford says It.

'I am much more familiar with kitsunes than tanukis I am afraid, in terms of beguiling shapeshifters! But it's no big deal. I suppose other than the tails and ears, they are practically the same anyways.'

Tamaki's eyebrow twitches. "Don't mix me up with those *foxes*!" she snaps, actually losing her temper for one of the very first times on camera. "Let me remind you of a Japanese saying, though I doubt you know it: kitsune shichibake, tanuki hachibake. If the fox has seven forms, the tanuki has eight - and unlike those inchiki bakayarou I don't do it *just* to charm the pants off pretty girls!"

Tamaki is irritated enough that wind surrounds her, whirling around her once and kicking up dust to hide her before it fades away. When it clears she's back in her more normal appearance; slightly heavier, wearing a sleeveless shirt and a shortish skirt, the gourd tokkuri slung over one shoulder - and both her fists raised.

"Come on, then. Isn't it also tradition for samurai to try to put bake-danuki in their place - and get in over their head because of it?" She grins, showing teeth.

[BUFORD]
To be fair, Buford was almost in the exact same situation in terms of keeping up with modern things.

It might be surprising, but Buford was not entirely on the ball with current events. Certainly, he would always keep the right opinions on the fighting community, at least what his favorite Fightubers would instruct him on. But even now, as Buford connects with the ignorant, if even seemingly innocent, bake-danuki, he felt like there was a real bond. Perhaps, a noble samurai spirit like himself could help a wild beast girl like Tamaki integrate with the human world. Perhaps even tame her, civilize her, and she would be grateful for it. Buford briefly imagines what a sort of life that would be, being a strong willed ronin who helps monster girls become normal in human society.

But then he says the thing.

When Tamaki erupts, Buford's ears begin to ring. Fortunately, she says 'Japanese' and Buford quickly begins to listen again. As she explains to Buford, he mouths back her words. "Kitsune Shichibukai, Tanuki Hachibiki, I think I-" But before he can explain how he was actually correct, and she just misunderstood him, she begins to spin, transforming into her real form. Just like in his animes, even with the spinning. And charming pants off, Buford's head was becoming rattled even as the dust clears. Staring at the edge of her skirt, his jaw rattles. "M'lady, are you asking me to put me in your pl-place?" Buford blurts out. Why, this was just like his experience with his Hitscord group. Of course, Tamaki wasn't asking for any money like then, but with her fists up, she was imposing all the same. He quickly brings his hilt to his sheath, and attempts to lock in his blade.

Instead, it buzzs and clicks, as the fight is signaled to begin.

COMBATSYS: Buford has wandered into a fight here.

[\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  <
Buford           0/-------/-------|

COMBATSYS: Tamaki has joined the fight here.

[\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  //////////////////////////////]
Tamaki           0/-------/-======|-------\-------\0           Buford

[TAMAKI]
"No," Tamaki says. "I want you to try."

After her first flush of anger, she's more trying to think of how to get Buford back for that. She has the faint sensation that she is being made fun of. While she usually doesn't mind it very much, kitsune in particular get under her skin. Everybody seems to love them, and she doesn't get it!

She lunges forward, but turns it into a stumbling step, feet crossing over one another as she takes a wobbly, weaving path toward Buford. It looks unsteady and random, but she seems to know what she's doing - she is, after all, at least sort of a drunken master. Drunken student?

When she gets to Buford, she has her feet put 'wrong', or at least it looks wrong; she stumbles forward, but turns it into a gut punch. Tamaki uses the rebound to push herself a step away from Buford, passing by.

"Also, your pronunciation is wrong! Do you even know Japanese?"

COMBATSYS: Buford blocks Tamaki's Stumbling Swing.

[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ////////////////////////////  ]
Tamaki           0/-------/=======|=------\-------\0           Buford

[BUFORD]
Buford was blushing again.

The sharp tanuki scolding was imposing on him, as he desperately tries to get his blade free. Almost panicking, the lady is upon him as she stumbles at him. Instinctively, he reaches out to catch her, to keep her from falling over. A punch flies out, and Buford steps into it. Crossing his arm across his stomach, the sucker punch slams hard into his outward arm, and he moans. That -hurt-. Really, women were the strongest fighters it felt like to Buford.

But how could that be, when he was so much bigger than them?

"Ssssssh!" He hisses, before Buford shakes his arm, stamping after Tamaki. "I apologize, M'lady, it is that my thick Alberta tongue struggles to work the beautiful and elegant Japanese language!" Buford explains as he struggles to understand -what- exactly Tamaki was doing. The clicking and buzzing stops suddenly, and instead comes a loud snapping sound. He finally tears his blade free from the sheath, as a jet of mist begins billowing out from the hilt. Buford had filled it up with a special blend of herbs and scents, a kind of potpourri blend. However, it seemed that the blend comes with a sharp stench of ozone in it, as well as a hefty mildew presence in the fog. "You shouldn't be so upset about being compared to a kitsune though!" Buford says in a strained manner as he throws all his -own- heft after Tamaki with a hearty cross slice of his blade, followed by a second swipe back across after two more steps as he explains. Wild, half-formed swipes as the rather foul smelling mist continues to pour out. "Why, you are just as lovely as a pleasant foxlady, though obviously a little thicker than one. But there is nothing wrong with being a little curvier in more places! And if I am not so bold to state,"

"Your tail seems -much- fluffier than any fox I've seen!"

COMBATSYS: Tamaki dodges Buford's Fierce Strike.

[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ////////////////////////////  ]
Tamaki           0/-------/=======|=------\-------\0           Buford

[TAMAKI]
The slash comes at Tamaki, but she is still on the move - she hasn't actually stopped since she started to walk. And even though her movements look awkward, weaving and wobbling, she has never lost her balance. And it's rather hard to tell exactly where she's going to be next!

She takes advantage of that, sidestepping with a hop to get her foot under her again, then a lean backwards away from the point. Her nose wrinkles at the skunky vapor - is that potpourri spoiled? Still leaning back, she raises one foot, hooking it behind Buford's ankle and trying to swing herself forward with it while simultaneously tripping him.

"Well," she says, slightly mollified by at least one of the compliments. She's still not thrilled about being compared to a kitsune, though, and after her (attempted) trip she continues past him, toward a greyish car. "You won't get out of it that easily, I'm afraid, but, mmm... points for trying."

COMBATSYS: Tamaki successfully hits Buford with Light Kick.

[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  //////////////////////////    ]
Tamaki           0/-------/=======|===----\-------\0           Buford

[BUFORD]
Wild Thing!

The thought bursts in Buford brain, as his swipes catch nothing but his own vapors. Hissing out a cloud around him, he struggles to keep up, huffing as he chases the lady. But his own clouds seem to be working against him: when she side steps, Buford can barely see what she's hooking her foot with. Buford feels it, and decides, well, he could just ignore it and get a favorable position. As it turns out though, ignoring a tanuki's trick was just as good as falling for it. Buford stumbles and falls down, landing unceremoniously face first as Tamaki repositions to the greyish Ford Mustang. Buford scrambles up clumsily, the stinking mist flooding around him. "Thank for understanding, m'lady, it is an easy misunderstanding to make. You shouldn't feel bad for being pleasantly plump, as a Miss Piggy might say. I only believe in the best for females, you should know! But enough of my humbling before a lovely lady, I dare say I must take you seriously as much as a Samurai of Old, should." He twirls his blade in a full moon circle.

"No more holding back anymore!"

Buford lets out a groaning growl, in what might be considered a beast if the only beast you had encountered was a possum family. Baring his teeth, Buford grips his sword with both hands in front of him. The jets of mist flood all around him, concealing his form for but a moment. As the shadow of Buford remains, he howls as the shape of the Big Buford flies through the mist, attempting to slash the blade across the tanuki as he surges forward past her-

Straight in the mustang he was going to hip check the car to stop his momentum

COMBATSYS: Tamaki blocks Buford's Bushido Of The Blade EX.

[   \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  /////////////////////////     ]
Tamaki           0/-------/=======|==-----\-------\0           Buford

[TAMAKI]
"What? Why would I feel bad about *that*?" Tamaki looks completely baffled for a moment as Buford's last words sink in. Her ear flicks again, but this time it's an expression of confusion, a little like tilting her head.

Mist surrounds Buford, and Tamaki takes advantage of that too. Wind whips around her, drawing the mist in a swirl that obscures her as much as him. So when he rushes in, neither of them can see worth a damn.

Because of that, she didn't even try to dodge, but instead went for a more aggressive defense, pushing hands at his arm to knock the blade out of line and throw his aim off. He doesn't really cut her so much as rebound off her, as the hip check has caught her instead of the mustang she's standing in front of.

It's not exactly fun! But it means Tamaki is also right near him when she spins, pirouetting past him. It looks like she's going to swat him with her tail - and that's exactly what she does, except somewhere in there her tail grew to enormous sizes. It's still fluffy, but it's not *just* fluff in there - it's a lot like getting smacked by a furry beanbag, if the beanbag was several feet across and wielded with surprising strength. It's not moving especially fast, but there's a ponderous inevitability about it as she swings it to smack him into the car - and it's heavy!

Tamaki hops backwards afterwards, her enormous tail curling up into a ball, which she sits on like... well, also like a beanbag. Her feet don't quite reach the ground as she rocks, a little, back and forth, uncorking her gourd tokkuri and taking a long drink from it.

COMBATSYS: Buford blocks Tamaki's Art of Transformation - Giant.

[    \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ////////////////////////      ]
Tamaki           1/-------/=======|====---\-------\0           Buford

[BUFORD]
The fog was working against both of them now, as much as for them.

Buford wasn't able to keep a bead on the wily tanuki, the girl using his own tricks on him. While his slash fails to connect, only cutting into the paint of the Mustang for some deductible damage, the full force of his hipcheck at least confirms that he has a future in keijo if this whole fighting thing doesn't work out. Probing the fog with his hip, swaying all the while, a great big shape shadows in the cloud. Buford squints, as he lets his instincts guide him.

His instincts are to keep explaining things.

"M'lady, there's no need to be ashamed of yourself. I all too well understand how one could be envious of the slim and sly frame of a kitsune." Buford had more to explain, but as he turns back to face Tamaki, he is greeted by an incoming force of floof. The massive size of the tail comes rattling in, and the swordsman suddenly finds his momentum off balanced. Bringing his sword up, it only does the barest as he is smacked right back into the car door, inflicting more insurance deductions in the process. Stabilizing himself, he leans in as the furry-eared maiden sips on her gourd. The fog fills around him.

As he slips into the shadows of the mist.

"You may find this unbelievable," Buford's voice begins as his shape seems to dance around in the cloud. "But I used to find my own body shape to be something ashamed of. But it wasn't kitsune I would envy. It would be those chads, those jocks, even my fellow geeks who shunned me for irrational reasons." Buford bursts from the depths, slicing the air as he howls in. Surging forward with a savage full moon backhand slice, the now very moldly-smelling mist grows thick as he hurls out the slash. The offense does not cease, and he begins to hammer his sword forward in a rapid series of short chops as he keeps advancing on the beastly girl. "Fortunately, with my age and experience, I have learned that one should not be ashamed of things out of your control, your body shape being one of them. And in fact, my shape is full and healthy!" With a final chop, he swirls, sheathing his blade as he gazes across at Tamaki with his blue eyes.

"So there's no reason to feel insecure about kitsunes being more popular!"

COMBATSYS: Buford blitzes into action and acts again!

[    \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ///////////////////////       ]
Tamaki           1/-------/=======|==-----\-------\0           Buford

COMBATSYS: Tamaki dodges Buford's The Last Blade EX.

[    \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ///////////////////////       ]
Tamaki           1/-------/=======|===----\-------\0           Buford

COMBATSYS: Tamaki blocks Buford's Medium Strike.

[      \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ///////////////////////       ]
Tamaki           1/-------/=======|===----\-------\0           Buford

[TAMAKI]
Honestly? Buford would probably be doing a lot better if he stopped explaining things.

Tamaki remains balanced on top of her tail, looking down at Buford. For the first time in this tournament, she is absolutely filled with unpleasant emotions. Even JD, who she was pretty sure was literally trying to eat her or at least take a bite out of her, didn't make her loathe him this badly. She's annoyed about being compared to a kitsune, which she finds insulting; she's annoyed about everything else he's on about, especially because he has so badly completely misread her. Bake-danuki are supposed to have bellies! What would they drum on if they didn't?

Of course they're also supposed to have some things that, strictly speaking, Tamaki doesn't have at all, but never mind that. (It's the hat, of course. What did *you* think it was?)

So, basically: she's not actually having fun anymore. Even mocking Buford isn't doing it for her. And when she can't laugh at someone and be laughed at in turn, something is seriously not going right!

"Hm," is what she actually says, a sound more dismissive than thoughtful, as Buford rushes at her. Suddenly, her tail returns to its normal size in an instant, and Tamaki is abruptly sitting on nothing at all; she drops, letting the backhand slice whip over her head as she hits the ground with a painful but not really injurious impact.

The short chops have a much better chance of getting to her, but Tamaki is already on the move; rolling to one side, only one of the chops clips her at all and she manages to ward off the worst of it by blocking with her legs. It's a close thing, though! She might not *like* Buford but he's actually got talent, as much as she has.

Twisting about, she gets her hands under her and, rather than stand up the normal way, performs a handspring that she doesn't look well-suited at all to manage, driving a two-footed kick directly at Buford's jaw as she finishes the kip up back to standing.

"I take back what I said in the interview. You aren't a rival! I'd want to actually compete with a rival."

COMBATSYS: Tamaki successfully hits Buford with Rude Awakening.

[       \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  //////////////////            ]
Tamaki           1/----===/=======|=======\-------\0           Buford

[BUFORD]
The slashing frenzy comes, as Buford seems peacefully unaware how badly he was making things for him.

Like with Ichika, and Chevy, and Sarah, and really everyone he had met, he imagined himself not only being the most charming and brilliant person these females had met, but that they were privilaged for the opporunity to be part of his story in becoming the greatest samurai Edmonton had ever produced! Tamaki practically should be over herself thanking Buford for having the rare and rich opportunity for him to be commenting how her experience was a lot like his experience, and how she shouldn't waste her silly thoughts on being insecure about things. And yet, as his opening slice is evaded, he hammering chops are deflected with her legs. The chopping actually stops, as Buford seems to be... staring a bit more, almost distracted.

Which of course, gives the opportunity for Tamaki to spring back into him.

Unable to evade from it, the blow knocks him through the mists, scattering it apart as he slams into the mustang for yet another deductable. Landing on his bottom, he leans his back against the back tire of the car. Adjusting his jaw, he feels a sharp pain. Was it dislocated? Broken? Or just terribly bruised. BUt with that smack in the head, the -words- of the Tanuki keep rattling in his brain. Buford looks more hurt by the words than both of her feet driving straight into his head. "What did I say wrong?" He states forlornly, bringing himself to a stand. "Did I... misjudge..." Buford shakes his head, as he gingerly eases himself out. "No, no, I couldn't have."

"She's just being hysterical."

He corrects himself, tipping his fedora again. "I apologize m'lady, but I am in fact a bit of a feminist you know. I believe a female has every right and ability to rival a man, even a samurai like myself. I will not fall for your wily tanuki tricks to confound me!" He straightens his blade before him with both hands, and then, as the mist suddenly sputters out with a buzzing sound, stopping suddenly, he charges through the clinging remains of the cloud, bringing all his speed and weight to unleash a driving overhead swipe, not the full moon style this time, but more of a downward chop. With his weight thrown in behind it, with some questionable momentum bringing him forward.

"If you wish to be my rival, then I cannot deny a beautiful woman from choosing me as her own!"

COMBATSYS: Tamaki dodges Buford's Crushing Strike.

[       \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  //////////////////            ]
Tamaki           1/----===/=======|=======\-------\0           Buford

[TAMAKI]
Tamaki doesn't even bother responding to Buford's words any more.

Instead she's focused entirely on the fight, because she wants to beat him. He'll never be a rival, but he can be defeated, and that's enough for her right now. This is probably the most focused she's ever been.

Buford chops, but Tamaki is still moving. She's never really still, and this time she sways half-backwards, half-sideways without moving her feet more than one step. The blade passes by next to her close enough that if she didn't tuck her tail in it might have gotten a trimming.

As his momentum moves him forward, Tamaki strikes at his back firmly with an open-palm strike that she puts her hips and shoulders into, finishing her in-place pivot. She's trying to hit him toward the car again, to bounce off right where he hit before - but her foot snakes out at the same time so that, ideally, he trips and hits it face-first.

COMBATSYS: Buford fails to interrupt Fierce Combo from Tamaki with Dewy On The Mist.
- CRAZY Hit! -

[       \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ///////////                   ]
Tamaki           1/----===/=======|======-\-------\0           Buford

[BUFORD]
The lone ronin observes that Tamaki wasn't accepting his invitation.

Chortling a bit, as the tanuki slips around his charging attack, he begins to recover, swinging his blade around as he starts to prepare to leap up. Following Tamaki, he feels a push on his back, a strong and sturdy strike that was pushing him in, slamming right for the car. He turns, ready to jump up as he smirks towards the tanuki. Buford seems about ready to lightly and bemusingly critique Tamaki. But he does, in fact, trip and hit it face first into the car window. Smashing through it, he does even more deductible damage, as he flounders a moment. Wrenching himself free, he falls on his bottom, sitting once more. Mouth bloodied and teeth knocked in, he attempts to continue his thought. "Blaargh abble blah ba!" He blurts out, blood running down his chin. Why, it seems he had bit his tongue. as he slowly, but steadily, attempts to rise back up into a full stand. Struggling now, barely able to rise as his fedora falls off. He certainly had something to say about this.

But there was nothing he could say with his fat and swollen tongue.

[TAMAKI]
An opportunity presents itself. Tamaki sees the opportunity, and her jokester's heart won't let her ignore it. Her face splits into a toothy grin.

She bends down, scoops up Buford's fallen hat, and plops it squarely on her own head. It doesn't sit very well there; her ears are wedged under it, her messy curly hair kind of sticks out everywhere around the edge. She does it anyway, cocking it at a dramatic angle (because that's the only way it will stay on.)

Tamaki bounces in place as she settles, adopting the wider stance of a heavier person than she is, before going on the attack. She's dropped her style for the moment; no awkward-looking but surprisingly evasive weaving, but a more direct approach. She hasn't got a sword, but he might recognize some of his own actions in the sweeping, arcing strikes with the side of her hand - karate-chop crescent moons, complete with a faint haze of chi as if the side of her hand was shining like a sword blade catching the light. Even though it isn't sharp at all!

She ends this with an attempted belly flop right on top of Buford - and then she mashes his own fedora back into place on his head. "There," she says. "I think you dropped this. I think I agree, though - it really does squish the blood out of your brain. No wonder thinking can be difficult sometimes!"

COMBATSYS: Tamaki successfully hits Buford with Art of Transformation - Mirror.
? Strange Hit! ?

[      \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ////                          ]
Tamaki           0/-------/---====|=======\===----\1           Buford

[BUFORD]
Buford's eyes bug out, as Tamaki nabs his hat.

He raises a finger, trying to object, but his tongue refuses to tolerate it. After all, she doesn't look as good in it as he does. But when she starts mocking his stance, well, he wants to object to saying that she wasn't doing the correct stance. But such commentary comes on a dumb tongue, as he gives a terrible cough. Raising his sword up, there is a clattering sound. The blade completely separates from the buzzing hilt, which then powers down. Buford's eyes go wide, just as she copies his own chopping frenzy. Buford can't even stand, trying to roll away barely giving him a few moment respite. By the time the end comes, she begins to prepare the leap. Buford shakes his head, trying to scramble away as he rolls over on all fours. But it does little to stop the full force of the body slam as the tanuki comes down hard. As the fedora is forced squarely on his head, there is an audible ripping sound. Not his slacks, no, neither his suspenders: but his fedora was in fact too small for his whole head, and with the force of the push, causes it to split at the seams, popping apart as the noble samurai is knocked face down in the dealership unconscious.

Bottom holding up high in the air.

COMBATSYS: Buford can no longer fight.

[      \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  <
Tamaki           0/-------/---====|

[TAMAKI]
Tamaki crouches down after Buford drops down, unconscious. She prods his side with a toe to make sure he's really out.

"Huh," she says, before opening up her tokkuri and having a long drink. She lets out a breath afterwards, ruffling her own hair. She feels a little bad for losing control, but... still.

After a few moments of that, she walks away. She keeps the booze out, too.

Log created on 18:25:44 07/03/2023 by Tamaki, and last modified on 15:54:38 07/08/2023.