Match of the Millennium

Description: Continuing in our tour, we'll be moving down to Hong Kong, where American movie star and Hong Kong film aficianado Johnny Cage will face off against local martial arts master Brad Wong in the glamorous Diamond Dragon Casino, a location set to be highlighted in Johnny Cage's upcoming movie, a remake of the Legend of the Drunken Master, sponsored by Bud Lite!

[JOHNNY CAGE]
FADE IN.

INT. DIAMOND DRAGON CASINO - NIGHT

The Diamond Dragon Casino in all of its expensive and money-grubbing glory. It's packed, as it always is, by a ton of people here to send their money down the drain. However, there may be another reason why this casino is seeing so much more traffic than it normally does.

INSERT: CAGE KICKS (ALL-AMERICANS)

The signature sneakers are red, white, and blue and look as comfortable as they do expensive. They just happen to be gracing the casino floor with their presence.

INT. DIAMOND DRAGON CASINO - NIGHT

Panning up, we get to see the rest of the red, white, and blue spectacular outfit that is wrapped around the body of the illustrious and amazing: JOHNNY CAGE. He's clearly compensating for his Americanness tonight as he's rocking his red track pants with a white and blue tank top, the 'JOHNNY' peeking out from beneath the collar. Even his signature sunglasses are playing Patriot Games as well with the American Flag stylization on the Stunner Shades he's chosen for this here event.

Johnny's in the middle of posing and taking pictures with the collection of fans that have surrounded him. There's even a couple of autographs being signed in front of the poster for the Legend of Drunken Master reboot that he is, of course, starring in.

Johnny takes his time with the Sharpie as a crowd of girls all line up for his signature chest signing.

JOHNNY CAGE: God, I love Hong Kong.

The thirst is real.

[BRAD WONG]
PAN TO: An empty Bud Lite can clatters from top frame and rolls along the floor, coming to a stop against a the feet of a man in dressy shoes and slacks. The camera pans upward to show a male, early-thirties, with a long, silver ponytail and tanned skin. He leans on the edge of the bar, talking to a FEMALE BARTENDER.

CLOSE-UP of silver-haired man's face.

SUPERIMPOSE: BRAD WONG, ... HOBO (?)

BRAD WONG: C'mon, pretty lady. You sure you aren't up some for some fun when you get off shift?

He staggers slightly, almost losing his balance against the bar.

BRAD WONG: Oh, I can I get another drink over here? Those are being paid for by the nice sponsors, right?

FEMALE BARTENDER draws back slightly, looking confused.

FEMALE BARTENDER: Don't you have a fight to film?

BRAD WONG steps back from the bar with a slight stagger, then pounds his fist against his palm.

BRAD WONG: That's right. I knew I was forgetting something.

[JOHNNY CAGE]
PAN TO: Johnny Cage finishing off this latest round of Hong Kong Chest Signing and poses for a selfie with the group of girls. He even pulls down his tank top to show off his 'JOHNNY' while they show off his autographs. Johnny's looking at his phone as he parts ways with the fan club.

JOHNNY CAGE: Don't forget to tag me in that!

Johnny takes a few more steps before tucking his phone away as he comes upon the bar area. This is about the same moment that he notices his scheduled opponent for this evening's fighting festivities.

INSERT: JOHNNY CAGE SIGNATURE SMIRK

JOHNNY CAGE: Showtime.

Johnny WHISTLES to see if he can't get Brad Wong's attention and almost immediately strikes a fighter pose. Because this will all look so much better as a promotional fight for the movie if it just goes off without the collective audience knowing it's about to go down. Surprise!

COMBATSYS: Johnny Cage has started a fight here.

[\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  <
Johnny Cage      0/-------/-------|

[BRAD WONG]
PAN TO: Brad Wong looks up as JOHNNY CAGE whistles. He looks across the bar then smiles confidently.

BRAD WONG: Ah, there's my cue. Save me a seat, would you?

He takes a step, sways slightly, then rights himself as he walks across the bar toward where JOHNNY CAGE has gathered with his fans.

CLOSE UP on Brad's hands as he pops his knuckles by balling up his fists and pressing each against his palms. When he approaches Johnny he stops, runs a hand through his hair, and smiles. He seems like he's had a bit too much to drink.

BRAD WONG: Wait just a minute. You're THE Johnny Cage? Well then, I guess we're in for a good time, huh?

Brad shrugs, looking around the entourage. He stretches, slides his feet apart, and dusts off his vest. He tilts his head slightly.

BRAD WONG: Don't let me ruin that pretty face, yeah? I think we've both got a lot on the line here.

Brad suddenly throws a sharp right hook at Johnny's chin...but it's a wide, uneven swing that's a bit too shallow to find any purchase.

But as he hits the end of momentum, Brad slams down his boot, suddenly changing stances, and steps into a strong shoulder charge instead?!

BRAD WONG: Oops!

COMBATSYS: Brad Wong has joined the fight here.

[\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  //////////////////////////////]
Johnny Cage      0/-------/-------|======-\-------\0        Brad Wong

COMBATSYS: Brad Wong successfully hits Johnny Cage with Medium Punch.

[    \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  //////////////////////////////]
Johnny Cage      0/-------/-----==|=======\-------\0        Brad Wong

[JOHNNY CAGE]
JOHNNY CAGE: You're Welcome.

Johnny Cage tosses a nod in the direction of ol' Brad Wong while blessing him with his presence. Not to mention blessing everyone else with his presence as well.

CLOSE UP on Johnny's Sunglasses as he reaches up to peel them off and offer one of those signature winks that he's always in the business of doing. Anything to make the fangirls squeal.

JOHNNY CAGE: Don't worry, I'll buy you a drink after I mop the floor with you. With a straw and everything.

Johnny's sunglasses are back on his face as he catches sight of that weak punch, completely falling for it and sidestepping in the wrong direction. He steps right into the path of that sudden and accidental shoulder charge of doom! Johnny's knocked back, hard and right into the bar.

JOHNNY CAGE: (Bad Pacino Impression) HOKAY! JUSE WANNA' PLAY ROUGH? LET'S PLAY ROUGH!

Johnny steps quickly, pushing away from the bar and aiming a solid (but remarkably over-stylized) front kick at the chest of ol' Drunken Wong Foo over here.

COMBATSYS: Brad Wong dodges Johnny Cage's Front Kick.

[    \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  //////////////////////////////]
Johnny Cage      0/-------/-----==|=======\-------\0        Brad Wong

[BRAD WONG]
CLOSE UP as the two crash against the bar. PAN TO another angle, camera focused on Johnny as he steps into a stylized front kick. It goes up toward Brad's face, threatening to clock him right on the chin. The camera seems to move in slow-motion as Brad's eyes widen...and then he staggers off to the side so the boot zooms past his face unintentionally (?)

BRAD WONG: Can't drink the hard stuff with a straw, unfortunately. And can you imagine a fine sake through a straw? It's almost insulting!

PAN OUT as Brad reaches out to grab Johnny's leg for balance (?), and in doing so threatens to pull him off kilter before throwing a downward elbow toward the movie star's knee. He then staggers forward, throwing a palm as he "catches himself" from falling forward instead.

COMBATSYS: Brad Wong successfully hits Johnny Cage with Hashitsu-Gyosen.

[          \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ///////////////////////////// ]
Johnny Cage      0/-------/-======|=======\===----\1        Brad Wong

[JOHNNY CAGE]
CLOSE UP on the leg of Johnny Cage. It's a really good angle that allows for the optimum viewing of Wong's elbow stabbing into it like a scene from the Karate Kid or something. PAN TO the face of Johnny Cage which is in an visibly distressing amount of pain.

JOHNNY CAGE: Who the hell drinks sake? On purpose?

The disrespect continues as Cage gets his answer in the form of Wong's palm crushing into him and planting him back against the bar with accidental viciousness. More pained looks from Johnny as he tries to stay composed.

JOHNNY CAGE: Noted.

CLOSE UP on Cage's hand slapping around on the bar for something and those finger lock around a full on camera which he brings right up and aims at Wong for some memento acquisition.

JOHNNY CAGE: Smile, motherf--

Cage's untoward words are cut off by the sound of the camera's flash!

COMBATSYS: Brad Wong blocks Johnny Cage's Say Cheese.

[          \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ////////////////////////////  ]
Johnny Cage      0/-------/-======|=======\===----\1        Brad Wong

[BRAD WONG]
CLOSE UP of Brad's face. He frowns.

BRAD WONG: Apparently, friend, you've never had good sake!

Staggering into a hop on one foot, Brad bounces three steps, leans the opposite direction, then plants his other foot into a staggering backstep. Is the man actually that drunk? Is it an act? It's certainly something, in any case.

CLOSE UP as the camera is swung around toward Brad Wong's face, threatening to emanicipate his teeth. Everything slows down for the great shot of camera smashing into face and blood and spittle flying.

...only for Brad to narrowly lean back, and bring up his arms to guard. The camera smashes into his forearms, causing the already leaning fighter to totter, totter, and then fall backward with a heavy thump against the bar floor.

CUT TO an overhead view as Brad Wong lays flat on his back from the hit, dizzied.

Suddenly, CUT TO a floor angle as he reaches out for something to stand with, grabs at Johnny Cage's foot, and pulls. If he holds on he twists and pulls up, swinging his leg around to try and stand up--and instead kicking against the back of Johnny's knee.

BRAD WONG: Whoa there. Maybe I had too much sake already, huh?

COMBATSYS: Johnny Cage fails to counter Konsentai from Brad Wong with Sweep The Leg.

[              \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ///////////////////////////   ]
Johnny Cage      0/-------/---====|=======\====---\1        Brad Wong

[JOHNNY CAGE]
CUT TO: Johnny Cage looking at what's left of the camera in his hands crumble down to the casino bar's floor. Which also gives us another angle in which to watch the epic levels of drunken mastery as Wong's pretzeling antics are on full display. Cage barely even understands how he's gotten all twisted up in the game. But he has.

JOHNNY CAGE: Level with me, Wong. Is sake made from spinach?

Johnny's quip likely falls on deaf ears because he's in the middle of trying to drop out of Wong's vicious hold when he's kicked in the back of the knee, his face smashes into the bar and Johnny Cage goes down to the floor... face first.

There's some blood splatter on the bar and it's also leaking from his face as he just lays there. He needs a breath. Or seven.

JOHNNY CAGE: Can somebody call cut?

Groan.

[BRAD WONG]
FIXED CAMERA as Brad Wong attempts to stand up off his "accidental" kicks and instead goes down again, falling out of the shot. He staggers back up into view, dusting himself off as though nothing happened.

BRAD WONG: Oh, heavens no. It's rice wine, you know. 'Cept it's really more like beer. Unique fragance and delightful taste though, and it's good hot or cold! You should join me sometime, Johnny. We'll get some of the good stuff!

PAN TO Brad turning to look at Johnny, who is angled out of the shot to make him look better. Someone, at least, is doing their job on the film crew.

BRAD WONG: Ah, oops! Let me give you a hand there.

Brad takes long steps over the leading man himself, reaching down to try and grab him by the arm and hoist him back up to his feet. Unfortunately, this leads to a bit of an over-pull so that Brad risks yoinking Johnny up and then slinging him back toward the back, instead. At least it offers something to lean on?

COMBATSYS: Brad Wong successfully hits Johnny Cage with Power Throw.

[                    \\\\\\\\\\  < >  ///////////////////////////   ]
Johnny Cage      1/-------/=======|=======\======-\1        Brad Wong

[JOHNNY CAGE]
JOHNNY CAGE: Rice what now?!

It would almost be worth the price of admission to see the confused and disgusted look on Cage's face as he reacts to the sake explanation. There's also blood dripping from his face and his sunglasses are crooked so that makes the expression he's making all the more hilarious.

JOHNNY CAGE: Uh, nah, I'm good.

Too Late.

Before Johnny can actually wave off the 'assisting' hand of Brad Wong, he finds himself snatched up, over and slamming down to the bar with such force that the word BRUTALITY might as well be considered for subtitle action.

Cage's body slumps from the impact and he drops to the floor. He's hunched over in this kneeling position because something in his back definitely isn't in the right place anymore. His energy levels are quite lacking and he can barely muster up enough strength to rise up toward Brad's face with a weak-ass attempt at an uppercut.

There's not even any banter attached to this one so Johnny must /really/ be in pain.

COMBATSYS: Brad Wong counters Uppercut from Johnny Cage with Yoki-Chochu.

[                       \\\\\\\  < >  //////////////////////////    ]
Johnny Cage      1/------=/=======|=======\======-\1        Brad Wong

[BRAD WONG]
BRAD WONG: Rice wine! You know, like with grapes, except rice. It's good~

Wong's tone is almost musical, dreamy, even, as he thinks about it. Perhaps this, in part, is what leads to the disaster with the bar tango, or maybe Johnny's producers played a gruel joke with the theming of this film and the casting of the other participant. In any case.

BRAD WONG: Oof, sorry about that!

He at seems mostly genuine about it in his delivery. Perhaps his acting is underrated.

BRAD WONG: You know, I can recommend a good chiropractor--

CLOSE UP to the uppercut flying toward Wong's chin. He staggers at almost too opportune time for an accident, lurching to the side as it comes for his chin. The lurch transitions into something of a spin, the drunken master whipping around his elbow to snap toward Johnny's ribs before he suddenly swings his hip's against the other man's in a low strike intended to bowl him over.

[JOHNNY CAGE]
CLOSE UP on Johnny Cage. His face might as well be stuck in this completely in pain expression because that is exactly what's going on in this moment. There's also a bit of disbelief behind his eyes due to the fact that he just got his ass HANDED to him in such a way that he might actually have to start using his stunt doubles more often.

It's going to take a minute to heal from this ass whuppin'.

JOHNNY CAGE: Worst. Promotional. Gig. Ever.

These are the words that Cage can get out right before that snap elbow into his ribs. Some more CRACK (we can hear it this time) and Johnny ends up getting bowled right the hell over by the Wong Master.

Conciousness is fading from Johnny Cage as he tries to find his feet but ends up slumping down to the floor and back against the bar. He has enough energy for a final statement...

JOHNNY CAGE: Smoke if you got 'em.

His ode to Rick Moranis done, Johnny Cage falls to the floor, the lights in his eyes (behind his American Flag sunglasses) out.

COMBATSYS: Johnny Cage signs an autograph.

[    \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  <
Brad Wong        1/-======/=======|

COMBATSYS: Johnny Cage can no longer fight.

[    \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  <
Brad Wong        1/-======/=======|

[BRAD WONG]
SLOW PAN up from JOHNNY CAGE back to BRAD WONG. The white-haired drunken master staggers, flopping onto his elbow and leaning on the bar. He crosses his legs in an exaggerated gesture, standing there one leg briefly before dropping onto a barstool.

BRAD WONG: Phew. Take a breather, Johnny. You earned it. ... hey bartender, is it too late for happy hour?

COMBATSYS: Brad Wong has ended the fight here.

Log created on 10:57:05 07/03/2021 by Brad Wong, and last modified on 10:56:29 07/10/2021.