Match of the Millennium

Description: Midnight Channel becomes Mortal Kombat as The Beast of Brasil takes on the Beast of Vale Tudo. Blanka and Craig Marduk face off in a brutal, serious, bloody melodrama as they trade blows and reach into the deepest depths of their emotion and ideology.

[MARDUK]
"Holy FUCKING shit I love these god damn ribs!"

That was the sound of the NOL Special Agent Craig Marduk, dressed in his NOL blues, investigating the latest in the strange Mortal Kombat-like events through the Midnight Channel. And by investigating, he was participating. And by participating, he was basically digging into the Churrasco provided at the Restarante Ribeiro. Sitting at the side of the bright yellow building with the white trim, all the wooden tables were linked together into a massive stack of trays, pots, and platters loaded with all you can eat. And eat all, Marduk can. Marduk didn't actually remember that there was a fight, he's been in with the buffet for about an hour now.

Cameras trained on him helplessly, waiting for some kind of fight to begin.

"And these chickens are so damn JUICY that it's like a JUICE CHICKEN that's made of JUICE!" Marduk eloquently declares before he takes a reckless chomp out of a whole roasted chicken. His uniform was long drenched and stained in the sauces and drippings of his indulgences, the Vale Tudo warrior taking a whole pot of fish stew and slurping from it directly, before dropping it back to the buffet mess before him. And there, wiping his face, he -glares- at the heap of fruit that he made sure to keep as far away from his as possible. "It's definitely better than these stupid-ass MELONS!" Marduk slams his fists on the table, nearly snapping it in half as he burns with rage.

"God damn do I HATE MELONS!"

[BLANKA]
'Fight Blanka Fight!'

The people's words have been heard. Where SNF cannot and will not be, Midnight Channel Abides. And they abide with one hell of a setting that serves as a convenient green room. The spread being devoured by Craig Marduk is near equally being tended to by a hulking brute of a different color.

Mashing, gnashing and tearing through the peel of a full banana bunch to the cheers of his countrymen, the beast known as Blanka seems to be more than willing to make this supposed fight more of an eating contest than a struggle for life and death. Plate after plate of plantain, sweet melon and starchy yuca is sent to the deep gullet of the green goliath.

The crew is at a loss, neither one seems ready or willing to fight when there is just so much succulent food in front of them. The gorging goes on and on, as the cameras do little more than document a dietary demolition derby. Plates fly, serving trays crash. And silverware is left cast aside to the dustbin of more refined history.

At least until fateful words are spoken.

Blanka feels his ear twitch. He lifts his head out of a mutilated rind and with a growl in his throat, he sets his eyes on the one Craig Marduk. "What did I hear you say?" the beast says, fully able to speak despite his feral appearance. He rises from the table, and turns, pointing with a heated resolve and crackling electricity rolling along his wild orange mane.

"DO NOT INSULT MELONS!"

[MARDUK]
"Huh?"

Marduk was holding a pinky out as he was about to nibble on a riblet when all of a sudden, a wild child beast man was right there. Marduk squints his eyes across the table. He mouths the words silently, but in fact the opposite of silent, as he observes Blanka. "WHAT THE FUCK WHEN DID HE GET HERE" He mouths silently in a loud fashion. When Blanka crackles with electricity, Marduk just tilts his head to the side in total disbelief, his brain trawling the depths of comprension of this. "Do not... insult melons?" Marduk places the riblets down, and gives a deep breath. Placing his palms in the table, he reaches for his napkin around his neck, except he lost that a long time ago. Looking around for a napkin, he gets a tablecloth, and pulls it, knocking over plates and trays as he tucks it in. He untucks it, as he speaks. "Look you make a very articulate rebuttal on my point, I gotta say, but I got a very good reason to not like the melons, and I will explain."

"MELONS ARE THE WORST FRUIT!"

Marduk roars as he smashes the table, face turning red. The table collapses, and Marduk rushes through the remains of the table, practically exploding through the food and wood over to confront Blanka tastefully. And then, as if to make his point he gestures at the melons. "THEY LOOK LIKE BUTTS!" He explains, as he smashes a melon between his two hands. "SO THEREFORE, YOU LIKE BUTTS AND HOLY SHIT! I cannot believe that's not butter." Marduk stomps on more of the food, as he falls into his Vale Tudo grappling stance.

"I JUST REMEMBERED WE GOTTA FIGHT SO LETS FIGHT OVER FOOD!"

[BLANKA]
Finger point held out, accusing and directed toward Marduk's malicious maltreatment of melony goodness. Unmoved by Marduk's rising, unlike the crew who has to shift position and quickly adjust the audio balance in order to account for sudden plate shattering, Blanka scowls at the man and hears out the rebuttal with all the decorum of a debate opponent. He grunts, cold to the stirring arguments made for the benefit of Marduk's position on melons. He retorts in a similarly well reasoned manner.

"MELONS ARE SWEET AND DELICIOUS AND ARE GOOD FOR YOU!"

Blanka howls to the sky, raging bellowing forward with a bestial screech. He turns and slaps down the table beside him, sending a shower of tossed fruit and veggie into the air to splatter the yellow walls and leave it painted a myriad of colored splotches. "I do like butts!" he confirms. "And the best part of them, is that you have one I can kick!"

He stomps his foot against the ground and once more screeches with a primal fury. The challenge is set, the gauntlet thrown down.

The stage manager is just happy these two are going to do what they were supposed to be doing.

COMBATSYS: Blanka has started a fight here.

[\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  <
Blanka           0/-------/------=|

[MARDUK]
"GOOD FOR YOU!?"

Marduk repeats that point, staggering back. "THAT'S A- THat's a good point, Melons do help a lot with your digestion and hydration." Marduk concedes furiously. And he rubs his knuckles on his cheek, pondering deeply. "And butts are also pretty good too! Wow, I didn't think a horrible beast man could make two good points! That makes me think!" Marduk thinks.

"I JUST REMEMBERED THIS IS ALSO A MORTAL KOMBAT MATCH TOO!"

Marduk lurches at another table. Gripping it with both hand, he heaves it up, lifting the table up with all the food. Turning, he pivots, hurling the full table at Blanka with the food and everything, trying to slam him with the opening. "Now I don't know Mortal Kombat very well, but I think I'm supposed to do weird stuff to take care of you!" He justifies as he brushes his hands off. Looking over his shoulder, he quickly double takes. "OH SHIT!"

"THEY HAVE CAMERAS TOO!"

COMBATSYS: Marduk has joined the fight here.

[\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  //////////////////////////////]
Blanka           0/-------/------=|-------\-------\0           Marduk

COMBATSYS: Marduk successfully hits Blanka with Huge Thrown Object.
- Power hit! -

[        \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ///////////////////////////// ]
Blanka           1/-------/=======|=------\-------\0           Marduk

[BLANKA]
"Mortal Kom-"

Krash!

The table, the fixings, the monstrous mound of meats mashing mightily into Blanka. Table, man-beast, food, serving equipment, an unfortunate bystander, all lay in a heaping pile against the far wall of the restaurant. And everything is silent.

The cameras roll. They document the NOL Special Agent. They capture his power. They capture the stillness. Time ticks and ticks by. Nothing. People wait with bated breath for what follows. And they wait.

And they wait.

And they wait.

But then the ground beneath Marduk lurches. And there, up through the floorboards, crackling and snapping, comes the howling mad hooting of the bestial Blanka! Electric pulsing all around him, his claws rake and slash with his rising up from the ground!

COMBATSYS: Marduk blocks Blanka's Lightning Mole.

[         \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ///////////////////////////   ]
Blanka           1/-------/=======|==-----\-------\0           Marduk

[MARDUK]
"YEAH!"

Normally, a proper fighter would be waiting for the comeback. Marduk exceeded the standards of proper fighters, as in the aftermath of hurling his table, he roars out. "YEAH! WOOO!" Turning back to the cameras, he throws out fingers like he's the king of everything but especially BBQ. "You see that? MORTAL KOMBAT! YEAH! That's some MORTAL KOMBAT!" Stomping through the food, he stamps stamps stamps, looking at the injured audience as he pounds his chest! Breathing hard, he relaxes a bit. Rubbing the top of his head, he looks around. "So is he dead or something because I think that's a problem if he-"

Suddenly electricity.

"WHOA!" Marduk bellows out as Blanka explodes up through the floorboards. Stumbling a bit, he digs his heels in as Blanka connects. The claw raking wasn't too bad, as the wrestling titan deflects the claws to the side, letting them tear shallow cuts across his NOL uniform sleeves. But the surge of electricity? That cuts deeper in his arms. "That's some ELECTRICITY! You are ELECTRIC!" Marduk states with dawning understanding of his opponent. "You are some kind of ELECTRIC DUDE!" He continues to discuss. "No wonder you like melons! Because electric people like Melons!" Marduk squints his eyes as his muscles spasm. Snarling, he thrusts a kick straight at Blanka's center. From there, he carefully jabs his twitching arms left and right, a double combo of punches to follow with the momentum, the towering brute hurling out a headbutt at the beast man's own skull to finish the relentless assault.

"Looks like I'm gonna SMUSH your MELON!"

COMBATSYS: Blanka interrupts Raging Beast from Marduk with Shout of Sky.

[              \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ////////////////////          ]
Blanka           0/-------/-======|=======\-------\0           Marduk

[BLANKA]
It's electric!

The newly risen Blanka laughs his whooping laugh when he sees the crackling and popping surprise of his opponent. He looks down and taken by a rind of fruit, he bends over to grab a hunk of squashed melon. "Of course!" he calls out, remembering something he heard somewhere, "It has electrolytes!" With a bite, he mashes the melon rind with his fangs. "Just like you're a meat man made of nothing but meat!"

But then said meat man hurls himself bodily at Blanka. The kick hits and Blanka's eyes pop in shock. The melon he was chewing pops out of his mouth, and he watches as the world slows and that sweet, sweet melon bite dances hopelessly in the air never to be tasted again.

Rage sparks along the beast man's skin, literally. He howls to the sky his rage and fury. With his broad hands he slaps Marduk away from getting the rest of his assault in. And with a pained, mournful cry, his anguish lights up in a column of crackling energy that rises up from the earth itself to fry Craig Marduk.

[MARDUK]
Who knew that Melons were the magical fruit.

As Blanka takes a chomp, the flailing assault starts with a kick, and never finishes. The bolt out of the blue comes surging up from Blanka, and rips through Marduk savagely. Blasting Marduk, he is knocked up, and then, backwards into a heap of bananas. Smashing and smushing those fruit, he jerks and twitches for a second, before going limp. Moaning in pain, he was seeing stars as he sits up. He was breathing hard, his face red. He ought to be mad, probably.

But he was more shocked than anything.

Marduk staggers up into a full stand, gripping his chest as he breathes hard. "Holy CRAP! Electrolytes? That's what plants crave!" Marduk notes astutely, spasming with every crackle and surge of electrical energy. "Damn! Maybe I shouldn't be so fucking hard on Melons and fruits and shit. But what's the hell wrong with meat? I mean, a big hairy dude like yourself eats meat and stuff, right? You're not one of those sissy-ass vegan guys who like, crossfit or wear hair in a bun or other dumb girly stuff like that, right?" He stumbles, building up speed before he bounds at Blanka, attempting to grab him and knock him to the ground with a leading with a flying knee as he attempts a haphazard full body tackle into a collapse at the beast man.

"You can't build bulk without protein!"

COMBATSYS: Blanka fails to interrupt Strong Kick from Marduk with Lightning Grenade EX.

[                      \\\\\\\\  < >  ////////////////////          ]
Blanka           1/-----==/=======|=======\-------\1           Marduk

[BLANKA]
In comes the threat. Blanka drops himself down to all fours like the beast that he is. He roars in fury and he crouches, ready to pounce. "All food is good food! But fruits are best!" he shouts. "In the jungle, a balanced diet is must!" In order to prove his culinary insight, he bursts with a violent spark and hurtles bodily toward the Vale Tudo master with all the wild savagery he can muster.

And a crash! The two collide, but the bigger, meatier man overcomes the power of Brazilian lightning. The two slam hard, and there's a crashing of thunder. And a flop to the ground. A green, muscly heap that has to pick itself up from the ground.

Grumbling, blinking, rocking back and forth, Blanka waves for tiny little birdies that flit and flutter around his head.

[MARDUK]
Marduk himself was reeling from the impact as well.

Groaning, he lays flat on his back in the aftermath of his flying knee. Rolling to the side, he lifts himself back up into a stand, giving a great growl as he reaches a stand. "That's a very good point as well! Your nutritional insight is astounding and shit! As part of any body and strength building regime, you need to be eating a diverse range of different types of food! Food, vegetables, meat, and grain all form a foundational structure that's valuable for not only any fighters, but also for the boys and girls at home watching this MORTAL KOMBAT fight!" Marduk gives a massive flex to the cameras.

"MORTAL KOOOOOOMBAT!"

Marduk glances over to a pile of meats, vegetables, food, and grains. Reaching out with both hands, he seizes two massive fistfuls of meats, vegetables, food, and grains. "Now I am going to TEST MY MIGHT by TESTING MY BITE!" And with a horrible nomming sound, stuffs his face with them. Devouring them messily, he gives a great snarl as he flexes, the full force of the nutrients blasting straight to his heart muscles. "UUUUGH! UUUGH! YEAH! I AM FEELING IT! MORTAL KOMBAT!"

"But what about your source of Jungle Dairy, uh, whatever your name was again?"

COMBATSYS: Marduk gathers his will.

[                      \\\\\\\\  < >  //////////////////////        ]
Blanka           1/-----==/=======|=======\=====--\1           Marduk

[BLANKA]
The little birdies fly away. They were such good friends, too. Blanka grumbles and looks sullen as he gathers his wits and takes stock of the state of things around him. A wrecked restaurant and a sacked and scattered spread. He grunts, for he hears that he has won the truly important part of this Mortal Kombat; the battle of dietary ideology.

And then his stomach grumbles louder than he did.

"Yes!" he roars, agreeing with Marduk, he dashes to what is left of the dashed food and joins in on a wild feasting. Wet, horrid noises rise up with the gnashing of great fangs tearing into fruit, crisp vegetable, and smoked meats on various skewers. The detritus soars skyward. A fountain of food.

Just long enough to breath, and slurping a torn hunk of bacon wrapped chicken heart down his gullet, Blanka snorts to Marduk. "Blanka. Best of all Brazil!" he goads, thumping his chest. He slams his fist into a pile of assorted sides and comes out, somehow, with a small ball of bread that he holds out toward Marduk. "Pao de queijo!" he says with triumph before biting down. Each gobbled goody helps bring the green back into Blanka's face.

COMBATSYS: Blanka gains composure.

[                   \\\\\\\\\\\  < >  //////////////////////        ]
Blanka           1/------=/=======|=======\=====--\1           Marduk

[MARDUK]
"YEAH! YEAH! YEAH! Yeah...." Marduk pats his tummy, giving BLanka his respite as the cameras watch this match. Was it a disappointment? Was it encouragement? Nobody could figure out where this Mortal Kombat match was going to go. Was someone going to -die?- Marduk glances over at each of his hands. Marduk is out of food. As Blanka was cheering, Marduk cheers right back to him. Looking back at his hands, he looks back at Blanka. And he waves at him. "Okay, Blanka! I'm Marduk! It's a pleasure to meet you in this Mortal Kombat Midnight Channel shit!" And he falls back into his grappler stance.

"Now I am gonna pound you!"

Marduk stompedes across at Blanka, surging at him with a belly full of food. Gut glistening with pulpy ooze, it sways side to side as he goes straight for Blanka's knees. Should he get a grip? He would lift the wild child up, and slams him right on his hairy back on a heap of papayas. And there, he would go for a mount for the ground and pound. Not with his hands though. No, he would be grabbing fists of fruit on each side of him. Bananas. Mangos. Kiwis. Pineapples. All while laughing deeply with actual fun as he tries to stuff them into Blanka's face, before ultimately finished by slamming a final fruit straight on Blanka's head. And then roll off. The fruit in question?

A full-sized watermelon, of course.

COMBATSYS: Marduk successfully hits Blanka with Melon Masher.
- Power hit! -

[                             \  < >  //////////////////////        ]
Blanka           2/<<<<<<</<<<<<<<|====---\-------\0           Marduk

[BLANKA]
"Oua?"

The hypnotic belly throws Blanka's attention off. He's hoisted like a wild green baby and slammed down on what is now a pulpy mass of papaya. He gasps, choking for the still moment before Marduk Mounts and mashes Blanka's Melon with other melons. A fruit salad slammer squishes against Blanka's head as he's pounding and pressed.

Flailing, Blanka tries his damnedest to strike back, but he's force fed a watermelon straight down and over his head!

With that final injustice, Blanka rises to a bowling roll. His howl screams outward, muffled by the sturdy rind of the watermelon that encases his head. With naught by bestial fury he rolls up, trying to roll up and over Marduk. A tumbling terror, he bursts with desperate shocking bolts of electricity. Unaimed, wild, he slams forward and careens for the wall more than he does Marduk.

COMBATSYS: Blanka can no longer fight.

[        \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  <
Marduk           0/-------/---====|

COMBATSYS: Marduk blocks Blanka's #Dynamic Rolling#.

[           \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  <
Marduk           0/-------/-======|

[MARDUK]
"Heh heh heh welp- OH NO"

Marduk roars aloud as Blanka, having taking a more-you-can-eat buffet to the noggin, still has a lot more of that electrical fighting spirit. As Blanka explodes into a roll at Marduk, he takes to the mat like a MMA fighter. Clinging on to Blanka, he rolls along with him, keeping with the melon-headed melon beast man in a nasty on the ground clinch. For that part, he seems almost able to keep up, about to let his back take most of the physical brunt, while his front burns and crackles to the nasty sparks coming off. When the wall comes around though? Marduk breaks free, hitting the ground in a rough tumble, groaning as he rolls. Sitting back up as Blanka finishes his roll, the wrestler grips his head when.

FINISH HIM

Marduk looks around confused. "What?" He says, looking at where Blanka was heading.

[BLANKA]
There's a break in the wall where Blanka had been. A cracked open wide to the sunny world beyond the restaurant boundaries. Stumbling, staggering, unawares, the barely-holding-onto-consciousness Blanka still has the melon on his head. He struggles to tug it off, hooting with frustration. He doesn't even fully hear the call for the end of the fight as he struggles with his newfound helmet.

[MARDUK]
Marduk looks at the Melon man.

He looks at the camera.

He looks at Blanka.

He looks at the camera again.

FINISH HIM!!!

Marduk brushes his hands off, and strides over to Blanka. Cracking his knuckles, he reaches the beast man. And then, with his great mitts, he reaches down to grab Blanka by his head, to twist it right off.

No wait its just the watermelon.

"MORTAL KOMBAT!" Marduk roars out as he pulls the melon free.

[BLANKA]
The camera gets in close. It's there to see the action. There to see the visceral red pulp that sprays when Marduk's mitts grip the side of Blanka's melon. The camera's watch, broadcasting to all on the Midnight Channel when Marduk twists, rips that melon clean off Blanka's shoulders.

Red liquid drips, splattering Marduk's chest and fanning out over the close up camera. Pulpy gore falls to the ground, splattering off the warm streets of Salvador. It shines, brutal, in the placid South American sun.

Blanka steps back, once, twice, he feels for his head, and he finds it. What a relief.

He spits out the pulp that he had nearly choked upon, wobbles, and falls to the ground with a crash. The Midnight Channel crew make sure to cut around the pesky details of Blanka still retaining a perfectly viable head in the wake of Melon based decapitation. They have a reputation to uphold.

But in the wake of it all, Blanka has one more word for Craig Marduk. One word that he must speak to the crazed NOL Agent that just beat him to the punch. One word, one question that will mean everything and anything to this contest of Mortal Kombat. And with a single pat of his belly, Blanka asks. . .

"Seconds?"

[MARDUK]
Marduk holds up the remains of the melon, before crushing it off camera in his hands.

"RAAAAAAGH!" He roars out, securing victory for the likes of truly brutal finishers. But when Blanka talks about seconds?

"Shit, why not? It's all free isn't it?"

It would turn out it was not all free.

Log created on 13:37:21 04/05/2021 by Blanka, and last modified on 11:51:25 04/07/2021.