Match of the Millennium

As the broadcast goes live, the somewhat familiar face of catgirl kunoichi Kitty Fantastica can be seen filling the screen as jaunty country music plays in the background. KITTY: "Yeehaw, kittens! Welcome to the roundup! It's me, Kitty Fantastica!" The camera zooms out to show that Kitty is wearing a full cowgirl costume and seated on a mechanical bull. On a bale of hay next to her is a grumpy-looking and incredibly fluffy white cat wearing a small cowboy hat. KITTY: "So, we took in a lotta feedback off of all of you from the last roundup that I hosted, and two suggestions we had were 'Kitty should wear chaps' and 'We miss the two-host format.' So, as you can see, I'm wearing chaps, and here's my new co-host, celebrity cat formerly owned by Canadian icon Alexis Lovell: Murderface!" Disappointingly, the producers missed the part where the suggestion had said 'like Angel' and she is therefore wearing pants under her chaps. The cat, however, does look like it could murder someone with a look. KITTY: "So, Murderface, which of the fighters in the NFG is your favourite?" MURDERFACE: "Mrow." KITTY: "Oh, good choice, Murderface! He's pretty dreamy, isn't he? And he has such nice hair." MURDERFACE: *growl* KITTY: "Now, now, we can keep things professional, Murderface. So, which match was your favourite this week?" MURDERFACE: "Mrrrrr...." KITTY: "Oh, well, I agree, it's a shame that that one was interrupted by the prison riot and all the footage was destroyed." MURDERFACE: *hiss* KITTY: "No, I disagree. It was a totally legitimate decision on the part of our match coordinators to have the fights take place in the prison." MURDERFACE: "Rrrroww!" KITTY: "Let's not get too political here, Murderface. I understand that the Canadian prison service is not privatised, but that doesn't mean that the New Fighting Generation working closely with a privately run prison represents a worrying lack of regard for duty of care or that there is any corruption involved." MURDERFACE: *jumps off of the hay bale* KITTY: *looking past the camera* "Look, I told you that he'd be hard to work with. Now can we please get Blanka back on the pho-NYYAAAA!!" As Murderface is walking off the set, his fluffy butt smacks into a lever next to the mechanical bull, suddenly sending it rocking violently as it's pushed up to maximum setting. Kitty is thrown clear, and we hear a crash off-screen. -=*== CUT ==*=- (Continued in next post!)

As the broadcast comes back on, Lou and Tom are standing in the NFG studio on either side of the screen as the show's usual theme kicks in. TOM: "Ladies, gentlemen, and all of our other friends, welcome back to the NFG rundown!" LOU: "I feel like they should be the ones welcoming us back, Tom. I feel like I've been on ice for two weeks." Studio applause can be heard in the background. TOM: "Sorry about that black eye, Lou." LOU: "It was a black eye for all of us, Tom, but we're coming back fighting! Just like our NFG fighters!" TOM: "Other than the four who didn't make their matches due to unfortunate circumstances." LOU: "Well, hopefully they'll come back fighting next time! For now, I'm ready to run it down!" TOM: "As am I, Lou. Shall we have a look at the final standings for the NFG season?" LOU: "Let's!" ================================ NFG - Points ================================ Chevy - 39 Points Coco - 37 Points Djamila - 37 Points Buck - 34 points Ichika - 33 Points John Doe - 31 Points Tamaki - 30 Points Hawksley - 30 Points Ayala - 29 Points Buford - 29 Points Iris - 27 Points Kenzo - 26 Points Nixie - 24 Points Sarah - 22 Points Laurel - 21 Points Genie - 19 Points Zarine - 19 Points Braun - 17 Points Junko - 17 Points Hated R - 13 Points ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- METAL: 146 FROST: 144 THUNDER: 136 BLAZE: 116 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- LOU: "So, it looks like our winner for the regular season is none other than Chevy 'Offsides' Beaumont." TOM: "Standing out as Thunder's top earner, she's held onto the number one spot despite being on the third place team." LOU: "And Metal just barely retains their position as the winningest team in the points standings after a strong showing by Frost this week." TOM: "If it hadn't been for Nixie and John Doe's forfeiture of points for their involvement in the Metro City prison riot, Frost might have taken the lead." LOU: "And finally, Hated R retains his spot on the bottom of the leaderboard." TOM: "But first place in our hearts." LOU: "Fo' rizzle, T-Daddy. Which makes him the true heir the spirit of Brian Storm." TOM: "R.I.P. Brian Storm. Now, I suggest we start our rundown from the beginning, with Coco versus Iris!" LOU: "Sounds good to me!" (Continued in next post!)

==*== MATCH 1: COCO VERSUS IRIS ==*== TOM: "Our Battle of the Brits continued with Coco and Iris competing on the Metro City Skywalk." LOU: "What do you mean, continued?" TOM: "Well, we already had Coco versus Sarah earlier in the season." LOU: "Oh, right. Is Manchester in England? How does such a small island have so many accents? I swear, they sound like they're from different countries." TOM: "Yes, Lou, Manchester is definitely in England. Obviously, Cantabrigian and Chelsea accents have a much more similar sound -" LOU: "Wait, Cantabrigian?" TOM: "Yes, from Cambridge. You know, where they have the famous university. Sarah's Mancunian, and Coco's a Londoner." LOU: "Wait, Chelsea is in London? I thought they were all, 'apples and pears' and 'cor blimey, guv'na.'" TOM: "It's a region with a very rich and confusing oral spectrum. Perhaps we should talk more about the match." LOU: "Right you are then, mate. First, I'd like to talk about Coco's outfit for this match. How clever was it that she shows up in a Star Wars costume on the Skywalk? Like, she's a Skywalker? I really appreciated the visual pun." TOM: "Yes, it was very clever indeed." LOU: "And now, I'd like to show the clip." -=*=- FOOTAGE: HIGHLIGHT #1 -=*=- "Okay, so you /do/ know which way the pointy end goes," Coco pants upon kipping up to her feet. "My apologies." And with that, she throws the gauntlet - literally - lashing out with a right-handed straight at Iris' upper body. COMBATSYS: Iris just-defends Coco's Medium Punch! Well, the good news on Coco's behalf is that once the technique is over and both fighters have hit the ground, the spear ceases to be a problem, because it simply stops existing in a little burst of light. Because narrative causality is the most powerful force in creation, however, it manages to vanish JUST as she abandons her titty armor for it. Iris, at least, has the good sense to look sheepish when that happens, clearing her throat. "Sorry I should have said." Then she has to contend with Coco's fist of doom (or, if not doom, then at least Severe Displeasure), however, which is a much bigger problem than potential embarassment. The speed and suddenness of the blow push Iris to desperation, and she holds out both hands and attempts to summon effectively anything that would help defend against this particular attack: a shield, an armored gauntlet, anything. There is a flash of rainbow light. Coco's gauntleted fist collides gently with the softest teddy bear imaginable. There is a brief moment where Iris (and probably Coco) are allowed to simply... stare at this result. It's one of the really good size ones, not the little stuff you get at Build-a-Bear Workshop. It was definitely fluffy enough to stand up to Coco's not-inconsiderable strength, which is saying something. After the moment passes, Iris points at the teddy bear with her other hand. "This right here? Is why magic isn't cheating." Then she swings the damn thing at Coco's head. It's got some weight to it, but at least it's plush. COMBATSYS: Coco instinctively blocks Iris' Weakened Medium Strike. Thanks to the quick thinking of one of the fight photographers, the crisp and clear image of Coco in full (mostly) scout trooper gear punching the stuffing out of an adorable teddy bear while Iris presumably tries to hold it back will forever live in posterity on Star Wars fan forums as a symbol of Imperial oppression and on fighting fan forums as a symbol of Coco's hypocrisy as an animal rights activist. "I... I'm sorry! I didn't mean to punch your teddy!" Coco apologizes, apparently far more broken up inside over this result than for any of the violence she's attempted to visit on an actual living, breathing person. When the teddy retaliates, though, Coco instinctively falls backward onto her ass, punting the plummeting plushie in the process as if she were a world-famous footballer attempting to bicycle kick her way into history. Whatever becomes of the teddy, it ends with a *CRASH*. -=*=- END FOOTAGE -=*=- LOU: "Now tell me, was the highlight of this match Iris blocking Coco's punch with a teddy bear, or Coco Pele-kicking the teddy bear into a cafe table surrounded by old ladies?" TOM: "Now that I know what happened to the bear, I actually feel a bit bad about that, so I'll say my highlight was actually the finale. We were darn close to a DKO here, but Coalbridge managed to snag the victory after a fierce near-comeback from Osterlund, making Coco our only regular season competitor to have a perfect singles record." LOU: "As opposed to her couples record, which seems to have been rocky at best." A link to the match VOD appears on the screen: http://motm.kicks-ass.net/log/idx/0012260.shtml (Continued in next post!)

==*== MATCH 2: CHEVY VERSUS HAWKSLEY ==*== TOM: "Speaking of couples, there were allusions to this being quite the steamy matchup." LOU: "Especially with Coco showing up to watch from the sidelines, although she kept things remarkably professional. At least, while the match was happening." TOM: "Hawksley was getting a lot of support from Coco, so it appears that they were getting along this week." LOU: "Coco changes her mind like the weather, Tom, but let's be honest: I really think she was there to root against Chevy." TOM: "Unfortunate for her, then, that Chevy was putting on a masterclass on defense, as we saw here." -=*=- FOOTAGE: HIGHLIGHT #1 -=*=- "Well I am a left footer, so it could be me" Hawksley jokes about his Catholic heritage. "Plus my dance experience has mostly been gained on bars and tables." He's finally managed to punch the pole user in the face as he warned her he would should they ever get to fight. It doesn't exactly feel good but he isn't feeling bad about it either. It's all just part of the brawl, and if bruises and blood occur then so be it. As Chevy positions herself into a pose, the pugilist eyes her, admiring the view and considering his next act of violence. It's not long before a glimmer of mischief can be seen in his dark eyes. He starts to back up to where he'd spotted a stack of large orange barrels in the scrapyard. Turning to collect the one from the top of the pile, he tests its weight in his hands and then hurls it towards the hayseed with all his might. COMBATSYS: Hawksley successfully hits Chevy with Thrown Object. The term 'left footer' isn't one Chevy understood as a little girl and it's one she understands even less right now. Familiar -- but just enough to bring a clueless grin to her face. That grin just grows larger when Hawksley mentions his dance experience. "Oh, somethin' bad always happens when I try to climb on tables, so I guess it's just borin' old floor for me..." She gives a quick twirl to her pole, reacclimating herself to the weight after having it lopsided for that last attack. But just as she does so, she sees Hawksley gearing up for some mischief. First tires, now barrels? "Now, Hawksley, that's sweet," she starts, stepping in to close the gap. "But orange just ain't my--" It seemed like it would have been simple to dodge something so big and so hollow. But the barrel is, well, -flexible-, and its flight is trickier to gauge, so just as Chevy raises her pole and buckets to ward it off, the flimsy barrel flops around at the last second, veering right around the pole and clobbering her right in the face, forcing a full three-step stagger to regain her balance. Chevy shakes her head dizzily, clearing out the cobwebs. "Ugggggh.... You're still up to your tricks, it seems..." -=*=- END FOOTAGE -=*=- LOU: "I think that was the wrong clip." TOM: "That was the wrong clip. Uhh, that was Hawksley showing off his usual resourcefulness." LOU: "You know you've really arrived in Metro City when an orange barrel gets involved in one of the fights." TOM: "Production are telling me they've got the clip to demonstrate my previous point now." LOU: "Let's see it, then!" -=*=- FOOTAGE: HIGHLIGHT #2 -=*=- He remains lying there on the ground, gathering his strength till he can manage to push himself up, or at least as far as his knees. From here he slams his fist into the ground hard, setting of a chain of flames that surges to surround the two scrappers in a circle of fire. Trapped inside their fiery prison, Hawksley leaps upwards and then forwards, throwing himself towards Chevy with the intention of delivering a devastating lightning-fast punch to her face. Should it connect, it's likely to have enough force to send her flying through the wall of fierce, flickering flames. COMBATSYS: Chevy counters Burn Baby Burn ES from Hawksley with King Tide. Chevy smiles faintly, backing away to give Hawksley the room to stand. She's been loving the energy of the fight -- and his 'tricks' have been keeping her on her toes all the same. Idly, she brings one hand up to cup the bruise on her jaw... "I had to up my game knowin' I might be scrappin' against the best of the 'Genners..." Of course -- that's when Hawksley stands up. And then he slams his fist into the ground. A superheated shockwave ripples out. Her jacket and hair flap about from the heated air. And flames ignite in a ring all around her. Chevy's eyes go wide. It's his invincible move. It's been employed seven times throughout his NFG career. And each time -- except for one -- it landed with tremendous success. Chevy swallows her grin. She grips her pole with both hands, drawing in her breath. She blocks everything else out of mind; Coco, Abigail, the junkyard dogs, even Captain Morgan fade into a blurry haze. Entranced, she mumbles under her breath, "Here it comes..." without realizing she's said anything at all. And then she lifts her pole to a near vertical -- tipping the water from her buckets. As the liquid tumbles to the ground, some splashes out -- soaking her one-shouldered shirt, splashing across her denim-clad thighs. Spellbound by Hawksley's attack, she hardly notices. For she knows what's next: one single, lightning-fast motion. And when that fist screams up at her... She takes a step sideways, nudging the tip of her pole into the ground. She can feel the blistering heat from Hawksley's fist. The timing has to be -perfect-, and she knows it... The fist is there. And then her pole is there. Slapping against the firm, corded muscle of Hawksley's forearm. Chevy shoves outward on the pole with one hand... And reaches for Hawksley's shoulder with her other. Her blue eyes narrowed in focus, she grabs hold tight, using the leverage from her pole to push him away, to make the most of his committed momentum. She steers him away -- and slams -down- with the pole, guiding his shoulder towards the ground. That's when the spilled water comes into play. The puddle suddenly erupts upwards -- a powerful geyser slamming into his side, strong enough to lift him right off the ground. Chevy steps back and away, drawing in her breath again. Shock hasn't set in yet -- she's still so focused on her task. Hawksley's carried up by the geyser, spun around once, and then again. And then Chevy steps in to make her move -- latching hold of Hawksley's legs. Gripping tight, she tugs him free of the geyser's pull -- and then *SLAMS* him onto the ground one last time. Water splashes out from the point of impact, spreading its waves in all directions. The ring of fire still lives on -- perforated in a number of places by whitewater streams. Chevy pants heavily, catching her breath. It was a dangerous gambit... but as it ends, the excitement washes over her. "... I actually... did it..." -=*=- END FOOTAGE -=*=- TOM: "It was an impressive victory by Chevy." LOU: "Not entirely untarnished, though, what with the mud wrestling match that Chevy got into with Coco right after." TOM: "I was under the impression that that was just a misunderstanding, Lou." LOU: "Look. First, Coco reminds Abigail that he owes her a trailer, so he goes to deal with that. Then, while his back's turned, she 'slips' and ends up taking Chevy down in the middle of a 'hug.' Then, Coco ends up pretending she's been kicked by Chevy while she's down, so that Hawksley, being a gent, has to take care of her. This was just dirty tactics - literally - and I, for one, am here for it." TOM: "As am I, Lou, if only because someone has to be there to denounce it." A link to the match VOD appears on the screen: http://motm.kicks-ass.net/log/idx/0012258.shtml (Continued in next post!)

==*== MATCH 3: DJAMILA VERSUS BUFORD ==*== TOM: "Oh, dear. Well, we had to talk about this one sooner or later, Lou." LOU: "Look, I'll handle introducing it. So, here we had our boy Buford, the Rapping Ronin of Rationality, doing his level best to offend Djamila. Not that he was trying, but the guy just lives his life in a reality-adjacent state. But for a minute, it looked like, surprisingly, Djamila had a handle on it. In fact, it was probably the most heartwarming moment Buford has had since the Insane Clown Posse showed up to share some home truths with him against Hated R. But then..." -=*=- FOOTAGE: HIGHLIGHT #1 -=*=- The highlight is cut in almost slow motion to capture the details in rapid succession. "But if you are impressed by my, my studious, my studying smartness, oh my g- goodness." Buford suddenly trips over the chair, breaking it into pieces. Groping around for the table, he nearly tears the tablecloth off as he wrenches himself back up. A chair is broken. Buford trips and breaks it, and then the tablecloth incident. Djamila can't resist. She speaks... "Clumsy samurai, Shattering a chair with grace, Tablecloth's ally." "If I make you lose your footing just by being nice." Djamila slams her staff down upright, Chi keeping it that way. "Wait until I show you this trick" She jumps on her staff and inverts herself on it, hanging by her legs, then she reaches for his ankles. If she gets her way, she pulls and trips him again. When Djamila gives her haiku, Buford feels as tiny as a mouse. As she inverts herself, Buford feels the push to his ankles. Buford audibly sobs as he catches himself from falling by going straight for the table. Gripping the cloth, he rips free the avalanche of breaded cutlets, sending them flying in the air. Gasping aloud, he manages to catch a golden brown delicious in his maw, instinctively chewing and swallowing it in the scant microseconds before he recovers. The after-fight meal ruined, his wine of his kindness suddenly turns to vinegar of hatred. "Why you Jezebel! You Spangles! You uncouth woman of low character!" Buford bellows out, face red once more. Though from outrage, not shame of course. Steadying himself, he reaches for his belt. "How dare you take advantage of my innocence and honor! Especially when I offered you a feast! I deserve to be treated better! Now Face The Rapping Ronin Of Rationality!" Buford makes beat box sounds with his blubbery greased lips, as he draws his Suchimusodo. Pressing a button on the hilt, a thick cloud of mist pours out from it, as the hilt and blade begins to vibrate. Bringing it to his lips, he exhales a cloud of what smells like a blend of exotic spices and incense, a smell of cinnamon and saffron fill the air with the yellow cloud. HE is concealed for a moment. Then, Buford erupts from the cloud, bringing his sword into a single, powerful sideways strike through it, cleaving through the fog as he attempts to cut through Djamila. The mist would thin, as he would rest his head against the wall of the restaurant, as he holds his blade in the air. He speaks aloud. "Serpent In A Skirt Will Betray A Good Boy's Heart A Lie For Tendies" -=*=- END FOOTAGE -=*=- LOU: "Clearly, Buford felt bullied, but he took the low road. And then the rest of the match turned into what appeared to be some kind of mutual breakdown as both competitors delivered increasingly unhinged haiku attacking each other's character. In fact, the haiku got so vicious later in the fight that I can only recommend this VOD under a trigger warning." TOM: "A very broadly categorized one, at that. And for those who just want to know how it ends?" LOU: "Rational Ronin Abandons his dignity And loses the match." TOM: "Succinctly spoken, Lou." LOU: "Arigato, Tasty-San." A link to the match VOD appears on the screen: http://motm.kicks-ass.net/log/idx/0012259.shtml (Continued in next post!)

==*== MATCH 4: ICHIKA VERSUS AYALA ==*== TOM: "Moving on, we had our resident cavewoman Ayala matching up against the NFG's poster child in Ichika. Apparently, these two had some lingering beef from that training exercise between the teams at the end of the Sunshine City period." LOU: "Can we avoid the phrase 'lingering beef' from now on, Tom? It's reminding me of that Chinese I had last Tuesday." TOM: "I'm... not going to ask why." LOU: "But yeah, these two had some history, and being two of our most headstrong fighters, this was always gonna come down to the wire." -=*=- FOOTAGE: HIGHLIGHT #1 -=*=- 'Your move', Ayala says. That draws a thin smile onto the girl's lips. "Yes, Feldspar-san." She says softly, "My move indeed." She is not yet, as her friend Ota-san had reminded her, in Atari. She flicks her sword to the side, her own blood and Ayala's splattering from the blade and across the ground. She wraps her injured hand once more around the hilt and takes a deep breath. Blood trickles onto the floor. And then, Ichika's sword erupts with blazing blue power. The girl's heavy boots shift along the floor as she changes up her stance, and as she stares Ayala down, the primal warrior can see that those bright eyes of hers are aglow with the same energy. Burning sapphires, as she makes her desperate play. "I said we should show each other how far we have come." She says, and her voice is heavy with strain. "In the warehouse, I showed you the imperfect version. Now, I will show you the greatest art." When she leaps back into the fray her sword carves a trail with that brillliant sapphire glow. The girl's blade no longer looks like the old and mass-produced piece of cheap steel it truly is; in this moment, it is the shining symbol that a Katana ought to be. The perfect Sword that strikes down Japan's enemies. Ichika asks the world to help her show Ayala the heart of what she stands for. The world answers. And she uses that blade of shining energy to try and deliver one powerful strike, simply aiming to cleave right through Ayala's defenses. If she manages to connect cleanly, most of that energy will burn right into her opponent... But either way, she no longer lets it detonate in an unfocused blast. In the aftermath of it, she will be left glowing as though outlined with the remnants of that shining power, drawing what she can back into herself to try and reclaim what she can, drawing on the power of the Kami to keep herself standing that little bit longer. COMBATSYS: Ichika successfully hits Ayala with Tomorrow's World. Ayala tries to move herself fast enough to bring up her guard against the incoming sword slash/beam, whichever it is--but she cannot--she is blown back, along with several racks of clothing and goes tumbling, before finally colliding with a wall, hard. "Augh!" her cry is nearly deafened by the commotion and noise of the racks being pushed over around her. Eventually, though--she pulls herself up and staggers back to where she's supposed to be fighting, limping, even. "Ayala not given up yet," as if to say, she goes down when she finally relents. But it doesn't look like she is going to last too long, she's pretty beat up and bloodied, and it's not clear if her leg is doing so hot. "Ayala not give up, not dead!" she raises her voice in a bit of a roar, then begins to steel herself again, a huge aura of chi energy surrounding her. She's focusing it, much like she'd seen her opponents do in the past! -=*=- END FOOTAGE -=*=- TOM: "And for those of you playing the official NFG drinking game with us at home, that was your cue to take a double." LOU: "Yup. Double 'I'm not giving up yet.' Salud." Both clink together double shots of some unknown spirit before downing them. TOM: "This one once again came right down to the wire, but Ichika ended up defeating Feldspar-san - I mean, Ayala - in what felt like a very narrow victory." LOU: "It really seemed like it coulda gone either way, but our Little Samurai That Could pulled it out in the end." TOM: "I thought that was our nickname for Buford." LOU: "You're right. I'm just feeling a bit rusty after all those weeks off." A link to the match VOD appears on the screen: http://motm.kicks-ass.net/log/idx/0012262.shtml (Continued in next post!)

==*== MATCH 5: BRAUN VERSUS JUNKO ==*== TOM: "Speaking of drinking games, Braun seemed to be playing one by himself before this match even started." LOU: "Maybe he was watching Buford fight and was trying to keep up with the 'every time someone does a haiku' condition." TOM: "It's a good thing we abandoned that one for the official drinking game. Now, for those who haven't kept up with the matches on broadcast, you might have some idea of how this one ended from the news reports." LOU: "Who would have thought that putting our most combustible miko against our giant beast-boy Braun in a room full of booze would end with arson investigations?" TOM: "Well, I think that we can see the moment we realised things were going to go south here." -=*=- FOOTAGE: HIGHLIGHT #1 -=*=- The tiny daggers of Braun's nails slash into her without opposition, slicing through her fancy shirt and the sensitive flesh beneath it with disturbing ease. Junko lets out a girlish shriek of surprise and pain, the massive swing physically lifting the small priestess off the ground and tossing her backwards several feet. One of the large wooden tables catches the miko by virtue of being solid enough to stop her backwards momentum. She slams into the narrow edge hard, grunting painfully as she flops over sideways against its surface. A hand goes down to her side, pressing against the nasty wound instinctively. Bright red stains blossom along the ragged gashes in her shirt, staining the white silk. "Bakemono...!" With that realization, that she has one again been pitted against some inhuman creature, all bets are suddenly off. -=*=- END FOOTAGE -=*=- TOM: "It mighta been an idea to let the visually-impaired shrine maiden who purpotedly hunted monsters know she was going to be dealing with a monster guy before the fight started." LOU: "Coulda shoulda woulda, Tom. Personally, I love reaction videos. Like what happened next." -=*=- FOOTAGE: HIGHLIGHT #2 -=*=- Chi crackles around Braun's enraged battle form as he leers at her, leaning forward with his great enalrged maw dragging flames behind it. She certainly cannot -see- this but she would -feel- it. Practically 'see' his vastness through her senses in the form of the boiling chi unlocked by her own attack just as much as she also senses the shackles on him trying to hold him back but gradually breaking as his energy blisters higher along with the scored blast marks upon his body. "Sooo.....you wanna play -rough- sister? Fine by me!" He dashes forward in a blinding blaze of motion in defiance of his great immensity. A thunderbolt bearing down upon her with a great clawed hand reaching out to try and snatch her up, heedless and unbothered by the torrent of flame as it struggles to find purchase. Success would see his immense grip wrapping about her and his momentum carrying the both up and forward across the length of the ruined building. Normally he'd go up a great height but the ceiling barely accomodates him now, let alone a leaping multi storied jump. He still spirals, spinning and attempting to slam her back downward with his arm crushing her towards the ruined ground. Hit or miss, he immediately moves again like a shell fired from a battleship. His massive hand a burning scar of chi through the air as his enlarged body whrils into a spinning attack. A wild upper cut that rips massive claws and jagged energy through the air, ground and ceiling in a final violent assault against her and the whole of the bar around her. COMBATSYS: Braun blitzes into action and acts again! COMBATSYS: Junko endures Braun's Cyclonic Driver. COMBATSYS: Junko interrupts Whirlwind Fang from Braun with Hou-ou Shoten Ha. Fighting without restraint might be the man-cat's preferred style of throwing down but Junko has more things to worry about than simply earning points for her team. That she has been forced into this contest at all is something that she finds no pleasure in. Every time she has to call upon her cursed powers is an ordeal, her control over the flames tenuous at best, wildly unstable at worst. Inflicting the sort of soul-searing agony that courses through that scarlet fire upon another human is something she does with great regret. Fortunately, last time she checked, humans don't have claws. Nor do they absorb hellfire like a sponge and swell up to twice their normal size. Her nose wrinkles up at his transformed state as if she can smell the twisted chi writhing around inside of his grotesque body. If there was any hesitation left in her before, it's certainly gone now. Her clan has spent literal centuries standing guard over humanity from the shadows, fighting a forgotten war against the demons and monsters that have all but been forgotten to the pages of myth and history. Now, it would seem, those dusty old books have been taken off the shelf and cracked open again to spill forth abominations into the world. And what have the fools of the modern world done in response? -Embraced- these foul beasts! Spread their arms wide and invited them in for hugs and tea! Okay, she really doubts anyone invited -this- particular foul-mouthed brute in for tea - but the point remains! Monsters deserve only one thing and that's to be eradicated. Unfortunately, she isn't allowed to do that here. The representative of the organization behind this ridiculous spectacle had made it very clear that she isn't allowed to burn anyone to ash, not even filthy demons. But that doesn't mean she can't make him suffer. Once again, Braun moves fast enough that his pint-sized opponent can't seem to react in time to offer a meaningful defense. His massive claw ploughs through the outpouring of deadly flame, parting the neon beam like liquid as it snaps forward to ensnare the girl. Junko grunts in surprise at the speed of the attack and again with more feeling as the wicked talons dig into her flesh once more. Her slender fingers, now blackened and burned, try to paw at his wrist in an effort to dislodge the darkstalker's tight grip but she might as well be poking him with a handful of flimsy straws for all the good it does. The sudden addition of rotational motion to the flying tackle sends Junko's stomach lurching. Being blind, she's always struggled with keeping her orientation straight without some sort of heat source nearby to provide an anchor point. Getting spun around in midair like a pinwheel doesn't do anything positive for her sense of equilibrium. Ironically, being slammed back down onto the floor solves that issue. It isn't pleasant by any stretch of the imagination but it does provide her a solid reference point for which way is up. And, as she demonstrates quickly, this isn't the first time she's used a good smack in the face to figure out which way she should swing back. Fury and indignation floods through the miko and she allows it to hollow her out, burning away the pain. Even as Braun withdraws his giant paw to wind up for another lightning-fast follow up, she's already moving, gathering power for her own brazen retort. Scarlet heat erupts around Junko in a veritable tornado of power, a pillar of roaring flame that churns so chaotically that it starts to swirl around her. Kipping up to her feet, the girl takes a single rapid step forward as the violent maelstrom engulfs both combatants, putting herself uncomfortably close to the giant beast man. Too close to properly swing at, the girl has more than enough time to pivot in place and drive her tiny fist straight up like a piston, square into the fat target of Braun's distended jaw. The impact of her punch is almost laughably weak. If a small child had come up and punched him it might have be less insulting. The monstrous detonation of hellfire that accompanies that noodle armed uppercut, however, more than makes up the difference. -=*=- END FOOTAGE -=*=- TOM: "The destruction continued until neither opponent nor the very pub itself remained standing, making this officially a double knockout." LOU: "I like to think that when a match goes like this, everybody's a winner. Especially those of us able to watch the carnage from a safe distance." A link to the match VOD appears on the screen: http://motm.kicks-ass.net/log/idx/0012263.shtml (Continued in next post!)

==*== MATCH 6: KENZO VERSUS KUNOICHI INAZUMA ==*== TOM: "Now, for those of you at home who are worried about the name 'Kunoichi Inazuma' and whether you're suffering from memory loss, I've got good news: she's one of Team Frost's official substitutes." LOU: "Yup. With Tamaki missing in action, Frost had to submit a substitute, and Kunoichi Inazuma stepped up." TOM: "Unfortunately, this 'lightning ninja girl' appeared not to have been fully briefed on the regulations of the match, which soon resulted in even more property damage on the part of the New Fighting Generation." -=*=- FOOTAGE: HIGHLIGHT #1 -=*=- Before the narrator can give away anymore of her clan's secrets and just before Kenzo can connect with his clipping kick, Liza quickly hooks one end of her kusarigama around the post under her feet and dives off of it. She keeps hold of the other end, dropping down like a pendulum before physics send her launching upward with the momentum at the other end of the swing. As she goes into a free jump, yanking the chain along with her, Liza starts to crackle in the air, almost seeming to hang suspended briefly. Electricity dances around her body as she seems to defy gravity - the daredevil maneuver perhaps leading one to question whether she's making a target of herself, or planning something? "Hiii..." Judging by the noise she's making, it's probably the latter. How she's planning to land is another matter. COMBATSYS: Raiza crackles with electricity! The fact that 'Inazuma' has moved out of the way of the fly by kick isn't that much of a surprise. The way she does is more of one to the male electric ninja. After he lands in the tree, he quickly spins around to watch her use her chain to Indiana Jones swing herself down and then back up into the air only suspend herself up in the air while her body crackles with energy. Because, for whatever reason, his opponent has decided to play the floor is lava, Kenzo has no choice but to adjust his delivery method for using one of his gadgets. He takes a moment to send a charge into that infamous metal orb and then suddenly goes into motion once more. Normally, Kenzo would be content to drop the orb at his opponent's feet and let them deal with what happens. Kenzo launches himself from the tree, his path taking him above and past 'Inazuma' with said metal orb dropping down on the other electricity ninja. The orb will suddenly release an electrical burst just as Kenzo lands back down on the ground in the fighting area. In addition, should the orb be knocked aside, the electricity burst should happen before it has a chance to get anywhere near the spectators. Kenzo doesn't want to deal with the PR nightmare and law suits that come with accidentally harming them. COMBATSYS: Raiza interrupts Pulse Device from Kenzo with Empowered Thunderbird Blink EX. *KNOCKED AWAY* The gathering potential in Liza is visible in the lines of electrical energy coursing through her. The expression behind her mask is almost one of pain, eyes tightening shut as she struggles to contain and shape the chi to her purposes. For a relative novice, she has an inordinate talent for summoning lightning chi; controlling it, though, is another matter. She's not nearly as precise or calculated as her more experienced counterpart. Nor is she especially subtle, as far as ninja go. "SANDABADOBURRRINKU!" As 'Inazuma' completes her technique, the energy that's been trying to force itself in every direction is closed off from all but one: directly toward Kenzo. And then it's unleashed. As if fired from a railgun, the female shinobi shoots straight up and backward toward her opponent, folded into pike position with the force and crashing through the orb being dropped upon her. The electricity from the device only adds more energy to the aura enveloping her as she collides back-first into the other ninja. Both ninja go speeding along Liza's course, smashing through one of the glass floor-length windows of the arcade's third level before the electrical buildup fully discharges into Kenzo and sends him flying even further into the building. Meanwhile, Kunoichi Inazuma tumbles to a stop, groaning and twitching on the ground from the aftermath of the pulse device - it seems she wasn't unharmed by it after all. "I... might've overdone it a bit..." she murmurs as she rolls onto her bottom, brushing her fingers through her now truly-unruly ponytail and grimacing as she finds a bit of glass. "Are you okay, Kuroiwa-san??" -=*=- END FOOTAGE -=*=- LOU: "Can I just say that it's a bit confusing how the closed captioning on this one kept referring to 'Kunoichi Inazuma' by like, three different names? What's up with that?" TOM: "No clue, Lou, but I'm sure you'll agree that her behaviour here was entirely unbecoming of a member of the fighting community." LOU: *scratching his head* "To be honest, Tom, I got no idea what you're talking about. The fight was supposed to happen in the arcade, right? Why were they even out on the street in the first place?" TOM: "For the safety of bystanders, spectators, and the thousands of dollars' worth of arcade equipment inside the building, of course! There was an official boundary for the match, and Kunoichi Inazuma refused to stay inside it." LOU: "In that case, didn't Kenzo technically leave the boundary first?" TOM: "Certainly not of his own volition. In fact, he made every effort to return to the designated fighting area, and for that he received this devastating sucker punch." -=*=- FOOTAGE: HIGHLIGHT #2 -=*=- "Owww! What are you doing, Kuroiwa-san?!" Liza is demanding to know as the ninja starts dragging her down the first flight of stairs. She grips his hand, trying to get him to let go of her ear without damaging it as her butt repeatedly smacks into one step after another. "Ow! Ow! Ow!" Finally, about halfway to the second floor, she manages to pull her ear free. Then, she lashes out with both pommels of the hooks of her kusarigama as she rises, attempting to knock Kenzo up over the railing of the stairs. If she manages it, she'll follow up by trying to loop the chain around the other ninja to pull herself along after him so that she can close the distance, grab him around the midsection, and start spinning him headfirst down toward the arcade's collection of pinball machines. Specifically, one of the Lightning Spangles tables. "SAIKURONDORAIBA!" she would shout as she'd make the attempt at her own variant of the traditional ninja piledriver, electricity channelling directly into Kenzo as she'd do so! COMBATSYS: Raiza successfully hits Kenzo with Cyclone Driver. At this point, it's clear, much to the disappointment of the spectators outside (who are now causing a riot in an attempt to get back inside to watch the fight), that 'Inazuma' has an aversion to fighting in the area designated for fighting. It's made even more clear by the charged headfirst drive into the Lightning Spangles machine and he's pissed. He absolutely objects to having his body being used to destroy stuff that isn't his. "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU HAVE AGAINST FIGHTING IN A RING THAT'S SET UP FOR THE SAFETY OF SPECTATORS AND TO PREVENT DESTRUCTION OF PROPERTY!?!?!?" After Kenzo manages to dig himself out of the pile, 'Inazuma' gets to be the first to be on the receiving end of one of his new attacks in an official fight. In a sudden burst of electicity Kenzo disappears only to reappear right behind her as he pulls his chain across her neck, presses his knee into her back and leans backwards as he uses the chain like an electrified garrote seeming to have pretty much given up on the idea of getting the fight back in the ring at this point. COMBATSYS: Raiza dodges Kenzo's Shocking Ambush. Electrified metal balls go flying in every direction as the Spangles machine implodes under the weight of the two fighters smashing into it, causing arcadegoers to have to duck and dodge out of the way or be subjected to the peril of a pinball pelting. One of a pair of twins holding the hands of their mother nearby starts to laugh while the other bursts out crying. One particularly devoted Spangles fan turns in slow motion to see the destruction and falls to his knees, openly weeping. The electronic display beneath the artistically-realised visage of Jezebel Faiblesse flashes in bright orange letters: TILT Most of the other people around are cheering, gasping, or taking pictures though. "W-what do you mean? I thought we were scheduled to fight in the arcade?" Liza asks with bewildered concern in her expression, a moment before Kenzo abruptly disappears from view. Only through pure instinct does Kunoichi Inazuma take that moment to drop a fast-acting smoke bomb and leap to the safety of a speaker mounted on a pillar just before the stalking ninja can grab hold of her. As smoke starts to fill the area, annoying the hell out of the customers who are just trying to spend their tokens, an upside-down Liza calls out from the speaker: "If you wanted to go back outside you coulda just said so!" The speaker, unable to support her weight, drops down to the ground with a crunch, forcing Liza to backflip away to safety again. "Oops..." -=*=- END FOOTAGE -=*=- LOU: "Oof. That Spangles pinball table's definitely totalled. It's a real shame, since they only made about half a million of 'em." TOM: "It's a matter of principle, Lou. Ninja are supposed to leave no trace of their passing. Even as she finally exited the venue, Kunoichi Inazuma left a trail of destruction." LOU: "Do we watch the same ninjas, Tom? Anyway, I still don't see why Kenzo tilted even harder than the pinball machine did." TOM: "It likely took a great deal of effort for him to even see the match finished after being disrespected so thoroughly by Kunoichi Inazuma." LOU: "Disrespected? She seemed to practically be worshipping the ground he walked on when she showed up. This was just a real headscratcher for me, Tom." TOM: "Well, we can agree to disagree, Lou. I thought this outcome was entirely understandable. Fortunately, with the final tournament coming up, we won't be seeing the likes of Kunoichi Inazuma in the NFG again anytime soon." LOU: "The last match literally burned the venue to the ground! They have insurance! It's fine!" A link to the match VOD appears on the screen: http://motm.kicks-ass.net/log/idx/0012266.shtml (Continued in next post!)

==*== MATCH 7: LAUREL VERSUS HATED R ==*== TOM: "You know how comparisons have been made between Laurel in her fights and certain horror movie franchises, Lou?" LOU: "I am aware of the comparisons of which you speak, yes." TOM: "Well, here's a perfect example of where those comparisons come from." -=*=- FOOTAGE: HIGHLIGHT #1 -=*=- Laurel silently dons her mask. She pulls on the hilt jutting from her dagger sheath, tugging against the resistance that wants to keep it hidden as inch after inch after impossible, gleaming inch is revealed, finally culminating in the smoothly tapered tip of her heirloom sword, silent save for soft, wet suction in the air around her. Already an easy six feet without her boots, she looks all the way down at one of the fans approaching her to ask if she knows where 'Laurel' is. Wordlessly, she tilts her chin until the deep brown wells of her eyes bore through the mask's eyeholes, through the fan-- Moments later when she's alone again, Laurel strides towards the makeshift barrier, seizes a length of metal, and /wrenches/ until she's clutching a twisted length of scrapped road barrier, tossing it in her hands for a beat before /hurling/ it towards Hated R like a javelin. "Me," rumbles from behind the mask. COMBATSYS: Hated R fully avoids Laurel's Thrown Object. "WHOA!" Hated R's response to the javelin that he ducks is well warranted. Granted, somebody behind him is likely dead but he's not paying attention to that right now. "Bruv, you coulda' ripped my threads with that thing! Mad chillaxicationisms needed!" Either way, though, it seems like Hated R's already over the little bit of rudeness that just got sent in his direction. "But I guess that means we already live! WE OUT-SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDE!" -=*=- END FOOTAGE -=*=- TOM: "Which franchise would you say this reminds you of, Lou?" LOU: "Scary Movie?" TOM: "I - well, fair enough." LOU: "Here we have that crossover horror flick we always wanted: Jason versus Malibu's Most Wanted." TOM: "Except Jason turns out to be a woman here." LOU: "Don't make me spoil the ending of Friday the Thirteenth for everyone here, Tom." TOM: "Good point, Lou. This one was fast and furious but nevertheless entertaining -" LOU: "As another popular franchise has been described." TOM: "- and had quite the spectacular ending, as you can see here." -=*=- FOOTAGE: HIGHLIGHT #2 -=*=- Hated R can barely hang on as Laurel's incredible strength just brings him up and then back down into the floor! Things crack every time he's slammed into the ground like that. Is it his back? Is it the floor? Is it his phone? Either way, by the time he's released, Hated R can barely function. His entire body seems broken and he's barely even on his feet. Oh, those are his knees. That makes more sense. Hated R looks to the side and spots his microphone. He grips it and uses it to push himself back up to his feet. He's wobbly but as he says back and forth that microphone is brought up this lips and he uses the mic to harness the sonic chi from within and gathers it up in a collected state around his body by going: "AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW--" Whatever adrenaline left in his body allows him to rush towards Laurel, his mic hand surrounded by sonic chi as he swings on her! "-- YEAH!" Hit or Miss, Hated R's done for. The trail of blood and torn leather makes that quite obvious. COMBATSYS: Hated R successfully hits Laurel with All That. The explosion of raw sound blows Laurel straight upwards, sending her flying for several seconds until she finally crashes to the ground. Afterwards, she's slow to recover: there are low groans and slowly, painfully moving limbs; eventually, however, she rolls to her back-- and from there, she bolts upright. A second later she brings both hands to the mask, splaying her fingers across it for a second before slowly tugging to dislodge it from herself. -=*=- END FOOTAGE -=*=- LOU: "I may not like skipping to the ending, but I can't disagree with that clip." TOM: "What can I say, Lou? Sometimes showing all the best bits in the trailer is the best marketing strategy." A link to the match VOD appears on the screen: http://motm.kicks-ass.net/log/idx/0012273.shtml (Continued in next post!)

==*== MATCH 8: AMBER VERSUS ZARINE ==*== TOM: "As for our next match, it's probably worth noting right off the bat that, after Team Metal member Sarah suffered a training injury, Metal sub Amber took over her place to face Zarine of Team Frost." LOU: "So we had a Californian cheerleader fighting a supposedly centuries-old vampire. I smell a hit television series in the making." TOM: "Here's one of the highlight moments from that fight." -=*=- FOOTAGE: HIGHLIGHT #1 -=*=- Of course Amber knows the lore behind vampires. She's clearly a Buffy fan going by her Cordelia Chase costume but to actually be up close to one for real? Chilling. She's got all the right attributes to play the heroine in a horror movie. Hourglass figure that fills out a tight top nicely? Check. Swishy and shiny long hair? Check. Clean cut image with just a suggestion of sexiness? Check. But is she as brave as they are? Time will tell. She's certainly not feeling too courageous right now. Despite her flashy move working out wonderfully for her, the cheerleader can't help but be disturbed by the doll like creature beneath her. Imagine not having to actually breathe. Imagine only being able to go out at night. Imagine never having to worry about an anti-ageing skin care routine. Well, there has to be some benefit to being dead. If the cold corpse was creepy however, the silver mist that replaces it is worse. If Zarine is in that form, how can Amber ever hope to get a grip of her? Okay, so that was a temporary thing. Amber puffs out a sigh of relief and gets ready to react to what happens next. But she's far too slow. Twelve hours of cheerleading practice and another twelve in the gym each week are still not proving enough for her to perform at her peak level. She's slashed by the sword, her Sunnydale sweater being sliced in two to reveal her white bra beneath. Hopefully Constance Coalbridge won't sue her for stealing her gimmick. Unfortunately for the spirited Sunshine City resident, the skin beneath also shows signs of being struck. She glances down to see a tell tale trickle of blood heading south towards her skirt. "That's not good!" is her somewhat understated response. When she positions her pom poms, it initially looks like she's going to use them to cover her modesty. Pretty soon though, she's lifting them aloft, fixing a smile on her face and chanting "One, two, three, four, Amber's gonna show you more! Five, six, seven, eight. Who do they appreciate? Go Amber!" COMBATSYS: Amber shakes her pom poms. Zarine, after her blade strikes, takes a little hop backwards. Amber's blood left on the blade spirals up the metal and absorbs into the vampire's hand. She lifts the weapon defensively for Amber's next attack, but it doesn't come. Instead, there's a ... rhyming chant? "What sorcery is this? Are you casting spells?" When nothing happens, the vampire just looks confused. Then her body language shifts. It's subtle, but the change is there. A little bit of the human mask slips. Her gaze burns, honing in on Amber. Her superhuman senses lock in, taking the young woman in. Every breath. Every twitch of muscle. Every beat of her heart. It's kinda creepy, honestly. COMBATSYS: Zarine focuses on her next action. -=*=- END FOOTAGE -=*=- TOM: "I'm not sure it was entirely appropriate to include a clip of this kind of wardrobe damage in action." LOU: "Come on, if we never show any wardrobe damage we won't be able to play any of Coco's highlights. Anyway, the only thing I found disappointing about this match was that Amber never did show us more." TOM: "I thought she did quite well to come back from there for the double knockout." LOU: "Not what I meant, Tom." A link to the match VOD appears on the screen: http://motm.kicks-ass.net/log/idx/0012269.shtml (Continued in next post!)

==*== MATCH 9: GENIE VERSUS BUCK ==*== TOM: "And with the minor fiasco of the prison match -" LOU: "- the details of which we cannot discuss at this time -" TOM: "- we come to our last match with Genie versus Buck." LOU: "I thought these two had some real chemistry. Then again, maybe Genie's just such a sweetheart that I always think that when she ends up fighting one of the nice guys." TOM: "The grandpa vibes are real, Lou. What was your favourite moment?" LOU: "Probably the bit where Genie knocked Buck's y'know back at him." TOM: "Let's take a look." -=*=- FOOTAGE: HIGHLIGHT #1 -=*=- "Ow...but I am not done yet!" Genie cups her hands in front of her as power starts to gather between them, gradually shaping into a sword-shaped construct of psionic power. She launches it, suddenly, the blade skimming over the water like a missile as it beelines for Buck! COMBATSYS: Genie successfully hits Buck with Courechouse EX. "Good!" Buck calls out as Genie expresses her intent to continue fighting, shooting her a thumbs up to go along with it. His eyes go a bit wide as that blade of psionic energy comes flying his way and he tries to get the hell out of Dodge, but it's no use. The armor that was his benefit a few moments ago slows him down and the blade takes him right in the shoulder, sending him stumbling. With a splash he lands in the water, a few bubbles drifting towards the surface, but Buck himself doesn't come back to the surface immediately. Instead a keen eyed observer may notice a shadow moving quickly through the water towards one of the other platforms, where he bursts through the surface after slamming a hand on the edge of the platform to launch himself out of the water. He lands in a crouch, and even though his cheeks are puffed out, its easy to see the grin he still wears. He brings up his hands and slaps his cheeks, and with a loud blowgun-like noise a bullet of water goes shooting across the arena at Genie, followed by a second and a third, Buck slapping his cheeks each time, then calling out. "Learned that one from fighting a weird dude on a mountain!" He sounds overly excited to share that factoid. COMBATSYS: Genie reflects Spit Take ES from Buck with Bouclier De Galahad. "Oh," Genie notices Buck does not surface right away. "Are you all right? Do you need a hand getting o--" Suddenly, Buck is back on the surface and positioned to begin his assault anew. Genie jumps back, her shoes squeaking from the water. But unfortunately for her, that's the least of her worries as far as water goes. The bullets close in, and Genie reflexively tosses her hands out. A shield of pink energy forms between them, creating a barrier between herself and the incoming shots. The impact with an almost metallic 'pink' noise before bouncing back, pink energy crackling through them on the return flight. "Fascinating!" Genie answers. "I have ... I have not fought anyone like that before!" COMBATSYS: Genie successfully hits Buck with Reflected Spit Take ES. - Power hit! - Now that is a trick Buck has not encountered before. First he looks accepting that his water bullets are just going to plink of another shield, but when they start flying back at him, well, the shock is clear on his face. "Ahg!" It's all he manages as he tries to get up his guard but the energy enfused bullets strike him one after the other, slipping past his raised arms and driving him back a bit. "Well, that's a trick." He mutters, at least not getting any wetter from the projectiles, but his skin already starting to bruise from where they made contact. He's panting heavily as he lowers his arms, taking one step forward which turns into a bit of a stumble. -=*=- END FOOTAGE -=*=- Both commentators clink their refilled shot glasses before taking another. TOM: "To be fair, it wasn't the worst thing Buck's spat at someone that could have come back his way." LOU: "It does have that slight whiff of karma about it, though." TOM: "This was another match to end in a double knockout. Quite impressive for Genie to be taking a draw off of the winner of the Rumble." LOU: "It's got me excited to see how things play out in the final tournament, Tom. So many of these fights are just a hair's breadth away from the script getting flipped." TOM: "And why don't we go ahead and talk about that final tournament, Lou?" LOU: "Sounds good to me!" A link to the match VOD appears on the screen: http://motm.kicks-ass.net/log/idx/0012271.shtml (Continued in next post!)