Match of the Millennium

TOM: "Welcome, ladies, gentlemen, and all of our other friends! I'm Tom Bradley, and with me is my esteemed co-host 'Loverboy' Lou Harris!" LOU: "Yup! And for the second episode of our NFG podcast, we've got fighting aficianado and pop sensation Lucky Chloe with us to discuss the results of our first round of matches! And Chloe, can I just say that it's an honour to have you on our show? I love watching you fight, and my granddaughter loves your new album." LUCKY CHLOE: "Thank you so much, Lou! It's always great to meet one of my fans. I'll be sure to give you some free merchandise after we're done recording for your granddaughter. I've just brought out a new range of cat paw hoodies, which I'm sure she'll love. For those of you who aren't Lou's granddaughter, they're available for $50 or $60 with a personalised name on the back." TOM: "That sounds great, Chloe! So, before we get into the results I thought we could start by going through some of the gossip around the New Fighting Generation." LOU: "You've always been one for gossip, Tom. I take it you're wanting to talk about the infamous Team Frost Beat on Hitter?" TOM: "Indeed. According to sources, sponsor Zog the Hammer was caught creating a disturbance in the vicinity of Team Frost's Sunshine City headquarters in the early hours of the morning the day before the matches began. This resulted in an altercation wherein rival sponsor Juri defeated Zog and posted this tweet: Snowflake emoji, foot emoji, round one to Team Frost, spider emoji, demon emoji, time to put Blaze on ice, permanently, purple kiss emoji, foot emoji, snowflake emoji." LUCKY CHLOE: "I hear it all started when Zog was hoping to get lucky. Rumours are he's got quite the crush on Ayala of Team Frost." TOM: "I believe you would be the authority on getting lucky, Chloe." LOU: "That comment seems highly inappropriate, Tom." TOM: "I recognize that in hindsight and offer my sincere apologies, Miss Chloe." LUCKY CHLOE: "Don't worry Tom, I've heard worse. My social media team have lost count of the number of times people have made jokes based around my stage name having Lucky in it. Speaking of Lucky, I hear that Hawksley of Team Blaze has been seen spending time with both Coco on his own team and Chevy on Team Thunder." LOU: "Yeah, he seems to like hanging out with the ladies. A man after my own heart. You know what else I heard about Team Blaze? They've been hiring professional fighters who use their members' styles in to help them train, including notorious boxer Mike Bison." TOM: "I heard that shortly after Mike Bison showed up to train with Team Blaze, he started doing what appeared to be the Macarena, and a mountain sprang up from the earth behind their dojo and a demon descended from it, having been summoned by Bison's ritual dance." LOU: "I also heard that there was a gas leak in the area that day." TOM: "That makes a lot more sense, Lou." LOU: "And that seems like enough said about that. How 'bout we get into something even juicier: the results?!" TOM: "These are indeed juicy, Lou. Why don't we start with Team Blaze versus Team Frost?" (Continued in next post!)

TEAM BLAZE versus TEAM FROST LUCKY CHLOE: "My favourite fight between these teams was for sure Buford and Brian Storm." TOM: "The footage of the fight was incredible. Capturing a battle between two fighters in a moving bus was a tremendous task that required a fleet of drones as well as hidden cameras, but they managed to do it. Of course, I would advise caution to anyone who gets motion sickness." LOU: "And the, uh... fumes Buford was letting off did obscure some of the action. I believe we've got a sound clip from this fight to play that really encapsulated the match." ==o/~== AUDIO CLIP ==o/~== BRIAN STORM: "Such ninja-like speed...!" *WHOOSHING SOUNDS* "NoooOOOOOOoOOO!!!" .. "I WAS GONNA SAVE THAT FOR A WINNER SHAVES THEIR HEAD MATCH!!!" .. "You've taken months from me, BUTT-FORD!! NOW, I'M GONNA FINISH YOU!" ANONYMOUS GIRL: "Oh, my God! Is he going to -" ANONYMOUS OLD LADY: "YYYESS! It's the THUNDERHEAD!! THUNDERHEAD!!!" BIG BUFORD: "It's Buford not Butt-Ford. And, um, actually Brian Storm, that's not a ninja like speed. I'm not sure if you understand this Brian Storm but you are being -very- offensive conflating the oriental styles of a ninja with a very specifically Japanese style of the Samur-" *CRASHING SOUND* ==o/~== END AUDIO CLIP ==o/~== LUCKY CHLOE: "Isn't Brian Storm amazing? He's for sure my favourite in the New Fighting Generation. If you're watching Brian, we should hang out some time!" TOM: "He truly is an example to us all." LOU: "Except for kids. Kids, don't try what this guy does at home. And especially not on a speeding city bus." TOM: "This one was the only draw out of all of our matches, and these two fought tooth and nail to make it happen. They left it all in the ring." LOU: "Or on the bus, as it were." (Continued in next post!)

TEAM BLAZE versus TEAM FROST (continued) TOM: "So, speaking more broadly on the matchups between Team Blaze and Frost, this was a rather one-sided showing, with Team Blaze taking victories in each of their other matches." LOU: "Blaze definitely had the most dominant week with three wins and a draw. As far as juicy moments go, I think Zog showing up to cheer for the wrong team in the Hawksley versus Ayala match was definitely a big one." LUCKY CHLOE: "My favourite bit in this fight was when Zog got hit over the head by his own fan sign. I know how I'd feel if one of my management team brought a CYS sign to my concert. It's just not acceptable." LOU: "Personally, I feel pity for Zog. He's clearly trying his hardest to woo Ayala, but he's going about it all wrong. I don't know if he even understands what's going on here." TOM: "Something of a concern for a fighter who broke the scales when they were trying to establish his statistics. One also wonders if his visit to Team Frost affected Ayala's concentration at all." LOU: "All said and done, this one was pretty close, but a clean win for Hawksley. Hawksley's still clearly on fire after his second place run in the preseason tournament. What's strange is that he wasn't picked up till the second round of the draft." TOM: "Now, that's an interesting point of comparison. Team Blaze's first three picks all won their matches, while Team Frost's first three picks all lost their matches. It seems like Blaze clearly beat Frost in terms of their draft decisions." LOU: "That would be results-based analysis, Tom. Team Frost clearly had their reasons for their picks, and it probably had to do with potential. On the other hand, Blaze might have just got lucky." TOM: "Well, Blaze allegedly picked Coco on the grounds of, to paraphrase, 'not wanting a Genie because they're too tricksy.' Zog allowed Hawksley to be the team's second pick because Team Blaze 'already had a cutie.' Implying that Coco was his first pick because he wanted a cutie on his team." LOU: "Well, can you blame him? I mean, did you see that outfit she wore for her club match?" LUCKY CHLOE: "Coco and Sarah are both opponents I'd like to fight. They are women who have an appreciation of music and fun like myself." TOM: "In terms of juicy gossip, I feel that Hawksley showing up to watch Coco's match only an hour after being seen on a bus hugging Chevy is a real highlight here." LUCKY CHLOE: "Are you suggesting he's a player, Tom?" LOU: "Wins his match /and/ makes time for two ladies in one night? That kid's got game, I'll tell you that much." TOM: "As far as the match between Sarah and Coco goes, this looked like it was incredibly close. Both fighters showed impressive defensive prowess and a strong ability to turn a good defense into a good offense." LOU: "Oh, yeah. I guess we can talk about the fighting. I think you said it, Tom - one more clean hit and Coco coulda been the first to fall. They definitely pushed each other to the limit." TOM: "On the other hand - and I don't mean to be disparaging when I say this - Iris versus Genie was probably the most decisive victory of the round." LOU: "And this time, Genie was the one on the losing end. She seems to have a real chaotic style - even she doesn't seem to understand her power, but we've seen what it can do when she's on her game. On the other hand, none of us knew what to expect of Iris coming in this late, but she certainly showed herself to be a strong pickup for Blaze. It'll be interesting to see if these two gals can show consistency as the weeks go on." LUCKY CHLOE: "Consistency is very important in both fighting and performing. It takes dedication, devotion and dazzling dance ability to be at the top of your game in this world. Well, maybe the dance ability isn't necessary for everyone." TOM: "As someone whose job is to talk while sitting down, I can say that my dazzling dance ability is one thing I've never put to use professionally." LOU: "So far. I'm sure the content team would love to have a clip of you dancing to the New Fighting Generation theme for the website." LUCKY CHLOE: "I can teach you a few steps, Tom. Can you be ready to rehearse at 6am tomorrow morning?" TOM: "If this is my time to shine, then I can but seize it." (Continued in next post!)

TEAM METAL versus TEAM THUNDER TOM: "And we're back! I hope you all enjoyed that message from our sponsors." LOU: "I think I might go down to George Eddow and see about buyin' a Ford myself." TOM: "Which brings us to the match between Kenzo and Buck." LUCKY CHLOE: "This was held at my backing dancer's dad's garage! It's the best place to buy a car in the whole of Sunshine City. Plus, Kenzo and Buck were super cool and took the time to pose for pictures with Liza. That earns them bonus points in my book." LOU: "You gotta take time to give love back to the fans. I mean, you know that as well as anyone, Chloe, but having the fans on your side can be a surprisingly big factor in winning - and keeping going when things don't go your way." TOM: "I suppose that explains your swift transition from fighting to commentary." LOU: "It feels a lot better to talk smack than to get talked smack about, Tom. So, I was actually gonna start by talking about the elephant in the room: Ichika versus Nixie." TOM: "Well, the pressure going into this match was enormous. As we discussed leading up to the match, it was the first pick of the draft facing off against the winner of the tournament." LOU: "And it could have been that pressure that caused Ichika to fail. Just going off of their performances so far, Ichika was the underdog, but by drafting her so early, Thunder may have robbed her of that underdog mentality." TOM: "Even more devastating was that video of Lyraelle lambasting the poor girl over her loss to Nixie in the aftermath. Frankly, I thought it was shocking that Team Thunder chose to upload it. No pun intended." LOU: "Look, Tom. It was pretty obvious that that exchange was scripted. A gimmick to make Ichika look more sympathetic and build up Lyraelle's persona as the 'bad boss.' It's like those rumours about Lucky Chloe kicking her backing dancers until they get the moves right - it's all just mythology-building. Right, Chloe?" LUCKY CHLOE: "If people didn't keep making mistakes, then they wouldn't have to suffer the consequences, Tom. Having said that, Lyraelle was far too hard on Ichika. In my experience she only cares about herself, so I pity the poor members of Team Thunder who have to be guided by her. She also makes pink look really tacky." TOM: "Don't you also wear - I mean, I certainly hope you're right, Lou. In any case, this was a devastating round for Team Thunder. After winning every contested pick they made in the draft, they ended up losing all but one of their matches." LOU: "That win was Buck over Kenzo. It's another loss for Kenzo, but his performance has been improving week in and week out. Buck actually had to make a big, decisive comeback to turn it around." TOM: "And Kenzo and Buck looked like they were having fun afterward in those fan photos Chloe mentioned. Not to mention, I've heard they both ended up getting keys to rent some new models from the lot." LOU: "You could say everyone was a winner. In which case, Metal basically won all four matches." TOM: "Dare I ask how you felt about the Djamila versus Chevy match?" LOU: "It was an excellent display of martial prowess, my good sir." TOM: "Really? Nothing about wet t-shirts, pole handling, or Djamila shouting 'Give it your ass' at Chevy?" LOU: "That would be quite inappropriate, my good sir. And I think the last one was a case of microphone distortion. Or maybe a translation error." (Continued in next post!)

TEAM METAL versus TEAM THUNDER (continued) TOM: "Well, that leaves one more match to talk about: John Doe versus Tamaki." LOU: "You mean John Doe And Friends versus Tamaki. That guy had backseat drivers telling him what to do all match." TOM: "There was definitely an air of codependency in the John Doe camp. Regardless, this one looked like it was going Tamaki's way until John got in a terrifying reversal of momentum on the tanuki." LOU: "And from there, it was a brutal show. The tenacity of both of these two was huge. Johnny looked like he should've been down more than once, but he kept on swingin'. It's like that guy has a death wish or somethin'." LUCKY CHLOE: "Have you guys seen any of his movies? He's really intense. All silent and brooding. It really adds to the mystery of the man." TOM: "And speaking of mystery, the result of this match was a mystery until we finally received the ruling the next day. Both fighters seemed to vanish without a trace after the fight reached its climax." LOU: "Something about watching Jay Dee's matches gives me the ever-increasing creeps. I can't quite put my finger on what it is." TOM: "And that's the great thing about watching the NFG! Never being sure what you're going to get. Whether it's wet t-shirt fights and microshorts, verbally abused minors, epic bloodbaths on buses, or brutal, yet inconclusive brawls." LOU: "I know! I love it. Apparently Team Thunder aren't feeling too bad after their week, though, 'cause I hear they all decided to go hiking in the mountains together." TOM: "Hopefully they all come back. By the way, Chloe, I heard you've decided to get involved with an initiative of your own for the New Fighting Generation." LUCKY CHLOE: "That's right, Tom! The reason I'm in Sunshine City is to film a video for my new single, Kiss Of Life. I had the idea to base it around lifeguards and I thought where better to set it than California, the state that gave us Baywatch! The trouble is though, my team and I visited Daybreak Beach beforehand and I can only describe it as a disgrace. That's not to show shade on the good people of Sunshine City, but I'm sure they'd agree, it could do with a clean-up. Which is where the New Fighting Generation comes in! I'm opening up the opportunity for the fighters to get involved with collecting trash in return for the chance to win a date with me. Now obviously that doesn't have to be romantic, unless Brian Storm wins, but we can hang out, get a bite to eat, or spend time however the lucky winner chooses to do so." LOU: "And is this, uhh... only open to NFG fighters?" LUCKY CHLOE: "I'm afraid so, Lou." LOU: "Just asking on behalf of our listeners, of course." TOM: "And sadly, I believe that brings us to the end of our time with Chloe. Be sure to check out the broadcast on Wednesday for the official point standings and upcoming matches!" LOU: "And thanks again for joining us, Lucky Chloe!" LUCKY CHLOE: "It's been a pleasure. How much do I get paid for this again?" TOM: "I think we're still recording." LOU: "Don't worry, I'll be sure to delete the question in post. Anyway -" *END PODCAST*