Match of the Millennium

Horror in the Sunshine City's Corona Row district today as a charitable outreach effort by Team Thunder of the New Fighting Generation Project turned ugly! Along with the monstrous ZOG of Team Blaze, the mysterious Ariastra led efforts by up and coming fighters Ichika Kasumoto, Buck Finley and Chevelle Beaumont to partner with Corona Cooks and bring some additional funding to the underserved community. Things soon went awry when local hoodlums disrupted proceedings resulting in numerous minor injuries and one case of self-immolation. Jacob Richards, proprietor of the Corona Cooks, said: "This is no reflection on Team Thunder. They tried to calm things down and it all went wrong. There's a lot of violence in our communities and until we get to the root cause of that things like this are going to keep happening." Fred Franks, local representative for Corona Row, was more scathing. He is quoted as saying "This goes to show why fighters and fighting are a menace to our communities. Wherever they go they bring trouble and strife. We need to crack down and crack down now on fighting and the causes of fighting. We can't keep letting these unhinged maniacs and literal monsters have our hard-working families too afraid to leave their own homes in case they are blown up by a giant green skull or eaten by some kind of giant!" A witness to the fight had this to say: "It was totally awesome! At one point this ogre like, smashed into my friend? He broke three ribs and he's going to be out of action for weeks but can you imagine having a story like that to tell your buds? Getting your bones broke by a literal ogre? Totally sweet man. I loved it. This crazy dude like screamed and exploded, and we got to take some ramen home after. I'll definitely be coming back as soon as it is open again. Hey, do you think that Ariastra chick would give me her number? Or Chevy? That trick with the hose was baller. And that due with the tentacles was pretty cool too, in a terrifying kind of way." Once again we see that America is a land of contrasts. In this reporter's opinion, that's what makes it so special.