Description: Dan's Saikyo Learning Center! Join now and you'll get three free lessons, and a pink Gi IF YOU MANAGE TO SURVIVE! (Winner: Hokutomaru)
Heterochromatic bars appear on TV sets across the city for a brief period of time before a voice over breaks through the single tone, "Those of our viewers tuning in for Cooking with Dog will be disappointed by this very special presentation."
Bongo-drums play, letters get crazy afterimages on them as they spin around crazily, and the scene fades in on a very happy Dan grinning broadly as he directs camera crews around his meager place of training, "No... No.. over the-- OH! Hey! I didn't see you guys," he says right into Camera 'A' (unfortunate, since Camera 'B' is the one picking up and getting a pretty boss shot of his ponytail. And while that's pretty cool, it makes him seem a little disconnected from the audience). "Today we're rolling out a special SNF-style production bankrolled by the SNF and featuring a real SNF style match. Learning... WITH.. HIBIKI! A lucky preselected young fellow is going to come out any moment now," as he speaks Camera A finally gets its act together just as he turns towards Camera B and points into it (dammit, camera guys!) "AND LEARN HOW TO FIGHT SAIKYO STYLE! YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
Well, with production values like this how could this not be anything but super great?
With such amazing productions values set in such a /wonderful dojo/ (* that isn't a ninja dojo*) it certainly could not! Just not as good as afformentioned dojo.
As the preselected young fellow gets the cue, he doesn't really walk so much as just /appear/. A cloud of smoke! A charred boy! A coughing and hacking to quickly remove the ash as he shakes it off like a dog! "HEY!" He waves into the camera, grinning, rubbing the last of the ash off onto Dan's pink gi.
"Never been on TV before!"
The boy declares, getting a close up on the camera, getting his whole face into camera A, holding his mouth open and making a face all monkeys do! Sticking out his tounge, he blinks, confused. What did the big pink guy say again? He tilts his head, and raises a hand - and then stops. And then again...
"What's Saikyo style? I've never heard of it." He says, matter-of-factly.
Phase one of operation DAN FROWN begins when his pink threads are sooted up by the ninja's sudden EXPLOSION INTO BEING and subsequent gi-wiping. Phase two comes when Hokutomaru says he's never heard of Saikyo style. That frown becomes very stern. Sterner than Charleton Heston teaching a gun how to raise it's children. He turns to camera B and suddenly flips that frown upside-down in the style of all the great pitch men, "Say WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT? Saikyo is just the bee's knees. You ever have a problem dicin' a tomato? Crackin' an egg? Enjoying a hot date on the town with your little ladyfriend? SURE YOU HAVE! With Saikyo all that is in the past! BUT TELLING YOU isn't the same as SHOWING YOU!"
He turns away from the camera and sizes the boy up, and then steps over to one of the tatami mats in the center of the square room. His hands both slide up to find his own lapels and he tilts his head to one side, "You look like you've trained in one of the lesser arts. Let's see what you know and see what you can pick up via the Saikyo method. LEARN BY DOING!"
I guess he's....just going to stand there.
COMBATSYS: Dan has started a fight here.
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Dan 0/-------/-------|
COMBATSYS: Dan takes no action.
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Dan 0/-------/-------|
As Hokutomaru looks, honestly confused at Dan, the frown that spins around 180 degrees suddenly is bright and cheery - as well as his actions wide, sweeping and .. hey it reminds him of that wrestler! No wait. Luchador! The words sounds delicious though. Hokutomaru briefly spaces as Dan talks, thinking of what type of food would be a luchador, and what it might look like if it existed.
The talk on tomatoes, eggs, and ... are dates food?
"Oh, it's some kind of way to fight?" Hokutomaru blinks, suddenly back in the realm of King Dan, and he but a peasent - or if the food metaphors still go, but a pheasant. "... OH HEY!"
The monkey ninja's eyes squint, a hand pointed out, a single fingle sticking out /even farther/. His scarf manages to blow, as the exhaust port of the nearby camera billows it. It's kind of hot. Dan is just standing there. Then that means... he's waiting!
"Ninja arts are the best! Even if your Saikyo style is worth something, it's still not as good as being a ninja! I'll show you!"
And then Hokutomaru vanishes, into a plume of smoke. Poof.
ONLY TO REAPPEAR SWINGING A GIANT STICK FOR DAN'S HEAD FROM BEHIND!?
COMBATSYS: Hokutomaru has joined the fight here.
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Hokutomaru 0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0 Dan
COMBATSYS: Dan endures Hokutomaru's Kuuten Keri.
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Hokutomaru 0/-------/------=|===----\-------\0 Dan
Dan's head is pushed to the side a little bit, his fingers tensing up on the lapels of his Gi as he makes what might qualify as a wince. His temple clocked pretty solidly by that stick in such a matter that a lesser man would certainly cry his eyes out. But Dan? Not even a single tear. No, he uses the pain, gathers it up inside of him and lets it roll through his body, before his hands snap off of his lapels and he turns his waist in one swift motion towards Hokutomaru.
As his waist turns, his shoulderblade tenses, and extends his arm. His fist flies towards the monkey ninja twisting crazily as it does so... "Kore Ga Saikyo RYUU! KYUUUUUUKKKKUYOKYU TENCHI GADOU ZUKI PRIME!' He must have added the prime bit, It must look good on the action figure boxes.
Something seems inherently wrong with that attack though, I mean. Even if it hit right, it looks like it would strain your wrist. What's up with this guy?
COMBATSYS: Hokutomaru endures Dan's Kyuukyoku Tenchi Gadou Zuki.
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Hokutomaru 0/-------/---====|=====--\-------\0 Dan
The arm. THE ARM. The .. monkey claw!?
Hokutomaru was simply landing, but for some devestating /doomsday/ Dan-niques, he was simply another victim! The terrible twisting hand that flies through the air, towards him, is too much to look away from! Like some kind of hypnotizing snake! Like some kind of trainwreck!
Straight for his chest!
"Gaaaaah!?" The monkey/ninja/boy that has been so hypnotized cries out, managing at the last second to realize what's going on. He rolls backwards as he's struck, using the momentum to ... strike the wall! Striking the wall, Hokutomaru's plan comes into action, as he bounds off.
"You're not the only one who can say attack names... but that was still cool!" Look, it's not about boring specialized techniques. No, give him the LIGHTS, the ACTION, the ... really cool looking stuff! "I can do that too!"
"Kuuuuuuha!" The monkey/kid bounds off the wall, spining somewhat crazily, stick held out before him. An attempt to crash into Dan's shins, spinning. It would, probably, not be good for them.
"DAN!"
COMBATSYS: Dan interrupts Kuuha Dan from Hokutomaru with Kouryuken.
? Strange Hit! ?
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Hokutomaru 0/-------/-======|======-\-------\0 Dan
Dan is caugh flapping his hand and clutching his wrist in pain at the start of the next moment in time, as fist finds ninja cleanly and sends him towards the wall. That doesn't seem to be enough to stop the lad's exuberance, and while he prepares a rebound, Dan's smile returns and the 'injured' hand gives a quick thumbs up. What happens next is nothing short of amazing.
The pink-clad dude's body compresses itself like a spring, his knees turning towards the right as he gathers tension into his muscles. Right when it looks like Hokutomaru is going to smash into his shins, they are suddenly replaced by his fist.
He spirals into the air, bringing the young kid with him all the while shouting something. Not a move name this time, it's, "You can't hit me with my own name, Silly! LEARN THE UPPERCUT!"
Like some kind of snake-spring, Dan is as crafty as he is flexible! Like some kind of master magician, the fists appear instead of the shins - and with then, the air. Dan strikes the ninja-boy clear into the sky - and it's certainly something! He goes spinning, spiralling, splatting - against the ground!
On his back, Hokutomaru glances up, shaking away all the Dan's taunting as they spin around his head. "That's a pretty good uppercut!" He exclaims, thinking. "And I think I've learned it too!" A big monkey grin, involving some intention of mishief, might make itself known.
"But if I can't hit you with your name then... AHA! Ninja art!"
The monkey ninja vanishes, the small lad disappearing in a smoke blast. And then re-appearing. Right behind Dan, over him, as he drops down to start clenching his arms and legs, trying to squeeze him!
"AHUUK NAD!"
If only his partner in ninja mastery, 3LN ( three leaf ninja ) could see him now!
COMBATSYS: Dan dodges Hokutomaru's Strong Throw.
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Hokutomaru 0/-------/-======|======-\-------\0 Dan
Dan's in his element. His dojo! He knows all the nooks and crannies of the tatami mats and as the kid ninja disappears he widens an eye wide, scanning for him. As he feels a shadow loom over him, his body begins to move forward, feet rolling over his shoulder as he makes himself into a wheel and tumbles over to safety. The guy spins on a dime too, turning around to look towards Hokutomaru and clench his left palm over his right bicep as he pumps the fist, "....Are you even trying?!??!?"
And so, he kneels there, getting pumped. Pumping himself up. Getting what the kids call 'en-pumped', "I mean... what ~was~ that?!?"
COMBATSYS: Dan gathers his will.
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Hokutomaru 0/-------/-======|=======\==-----\1 Dan
Is he .. Is he even trying!?
As Hokutomaru crashes to the ground, Dan rolling forwards to escape to safety, pumping his fist... he pumped his fist in his general direction! This .. this just can't stand! Oh, wait, sure it can. Hokutomaru grins wide, rubbing his nose. He stretches just a slight bit - and points the stick at Dan!
"Something I just made up! Since I couldn't use your name, I tried to use the reverse of your name! Thought it'd work!" The logic to him is flawless.
But he'll have to try something else! He charges, head first, towards Dan! And while this didn't work before - he's sure it will now! The ninja leaps into the air, skidding against the mats as he lands, feet first, crashing towards Dan's feet! he has to start somewhere!
"Sliding KICK!"
COMBATSYS: Dan endures Hokutomaru's Sliding Kick.
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Hokutomaru 0/-------/=======|=======\====---\1 Dan
PAFF! As Hokutomaru slides into Dan's feet, it looks for a second like the pink man is going to topple over. In fact, he pretty much topples over, but not before his heel pushes against the rubber mat and sends him into the air. He does a very rarely seen air roll, curling into a ball and grabbing his knees while spinning over the young ninja's head, it looks 'godlike'!
Of course it does though, this is Dan Hibiki. As he lands, he plants his feet on the ground and wishes that for one moment he had a long flowing white beard to tug on. Since he doesn't? He'll have to make due. His hands snap out behind him reaching for the ninja he can't really quite see at the moment. They try to latch on and vault the young fella up and over his back. It's a really crummy looking throw. Like really crummy. (By crummy we mean great. It looks great.)
COMBATSYS: Dan successfully hits Hokutomaru with Quick Throw.
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Hokutomaru 1/------=/=======|=======\=====--\1 Dan
The pink man.. doesn't topple over!? Oh wait he does. Hokutomaru was, for a moment, kind of concerned! But when Dan does topple over, rolling in the air and spinning - Hokutomaru can only gasp! How - is that even possible!?
"Gasp!"
but as Dan plants his feet on the ground - he snaps his hands out and causes Hokutomaru to suddenly become a flying monkey, what with limbs grasping for vines and cliffs that /just aren't there/. It's a catastrophe! Slamming against the ground, Hokutomaru brings himself up - slowly. His scarf is sagging, but not his will!
Twisting around, Hokutomaru looks raring to go still!
"That was pretty nifty but you better pay close attention! I bet you can't do THIS!"
Sliding a hand under his ninja outfit, Hokutomaru pulls out three shurikens, and throws them! And then three more! And then THREE MORE. Volley after volley are thrown at Dan, and at the very end... one more. As wide as Hokutomaru is tall is somehow produced, grasped, and spun, thrown haphazardly towards Dan!
COMBATSYS: Dan slows Chou Hissatsu Shuriken from Hokutomaru with Chouhatsu Densetsu.
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Hokutomaru 0/-------/-------|======-\-------\0 Dan
As Dan positions the boy better in front of him. Once again one eye widens as sets and sets of shuriken start flying towards him. Dan thinks quickly on his feet, curling back into that ball "If you march them in phalanx like that," he says as he deftly rolls under the first set, pumping his fist with the same clenched bicep manuever from before,
"They'll never," he vaults into the air letting his pony tail billow in the breeze his wake creates, sailing gracefully over the second set without even breaking a sweat. As he lands he dances on the tip toes, weaving a space between the third volley, "Hit anything!"
Just as he's about to spin on his heels and give a thumbs-up tooth sparkle to the camera? He gets beaned right in the face by the big one and sent onto his ass, "...Huh... didn't see that last one coming," He rubbin' his noggin? Yeah he rubbin' his noggin.
The set of shurikens do their dirty work - or rather, completely fail to. They're rolled under, vaulted over, and weaved through!
So what if Dan gets slammed on his ass by the very last bit! Hokutomaru gapes, eyes wide open, grin spread wide. So what if Hokutomaru threw them haphazardly. So what if Dan was ENTIRELY correct about what he said! So what if he's rubbin' his noggin!
"Ahhh.. WOW!" Hokutomaru exclaims, "You managed to avoid them all! All of them! You've got to be better than most ninja!" His voice full of excitement and adoration, "How'd you do it!?"
The monkey ninja leaps over to Dan, to continue the assault!
Landing before Dan, Hokutomaru actually doesn't strike him, standing nearby. "Haha! I thought you were some kind of crazy when I first saw you but you're really good!" The boy says again, "But I don't know what you meant by phanawhatever."
Hokutomaru, meanwhile, scratches his noggin.
COMBATSYS: Hokutomaru takes no action.
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Hokutomaru 0/-------/-------|======-\-------\0 Dan
Dan pushes himself back up onto his feet, as he stands next to the ninja monkey, now giving the camera the sparkly smile and the thumbs up, "Well of course I'm good, kid. That's the power of Saikyo. Though hey, you're not too shabby yourself there young fella! I was expecting nine and you had ten! That's a neat trick."
Dan looks back around and realizes, "Oh, yeah hey this is kind of sanctioned by the SNF kid, so keep training! We can't let up just because we're both impressive as hell. We've gotta keep going. FIGHT TILL CRUMBLED! YOU CAN'T GIVE IT UP!"
Not really wanting to ruin the kid's mood, "HOKUTOMARU! HOKUTOMARU! HOKUTOMARU! SHOW ME WHAT YA GOT!" And wouldn't you know it? The gathered crowd of die-hard Danatics in the 'studio audience' begin to chant the ninja's name too. Man it's like a pep rally!
COMBATSYS: Dan gathers his will.
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Hokutomaru 0/-------/-------|=======\==-----\1 Dan
The living legend, Dan, gives such words of encourgement! As well as ... self encourgement, and style encouragement. But it's /still/ so impressive! Also, Dan looks up to him for his trick - but that's the way of the ninja! ANd Hokutomaru, certainly, is a ninja!
"Ninja's aren't ever predictable!" Hokutomaru exclaims, though Saikyo doesn't seem to be either. Perhaps Dan was so much of a ninja, he no longer needed to be one.
Thinking on this, he pauses - up until Dan makes that point. Sanctioned by the SNF!? Holy moley, he better get back to fighting - er, training! Then some other words of encouragement from Dan - and Hokutomaru is PUMPED UP!
"YOU BET!" Cries the monkey ninja, as his name .. gets cheered!? "Haha, I thought I'd have to become the best ninja ever before I heard this! But I definitely can't stop now!"
Grabbing his stick, Hokutomaru bends it backwards, pulling it back as well - and slams it agains tthe mats before Dan, using the momentum of launching himself forwards to crash towards Dan, feet first - before bringing the stick infront of him in the end!
COMBATSYS: Dan blocks Hokutomaru's Combo Attack.
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Hokutomaru 0/-------/-------|=======\====---\1 Dan
Dan's leather guarded wrists go up, placing themselves in positions that make sense to stop the incoming ninja onslaught. The ninja's feet making a solid *paff* against them, before he slips into a new position and deflects the stick off of his elbow. He winces a little because the elbow certainly wasn't part of the plan, but now he has before him a smorgasborg of ninja target right where he wants him.
"Hey, kid. You're enthusiastic and energetic. You've got most of Saikyo down pat. Now, you don't have to take the hit if you don't want to, but impress me! Either slip out of the way expertly or power through the pain of the MILLION FISTS!"
"HISSHOU," the first fist slips out, followed by several more. The sensei going crazy in what appear to be katas as he slips fist and foot towards the ninja at an impressively blurred speed, punctuating the movements with shouts and kyahs and "BURAI RAI RAI RAI..."
Then comes that same spinning uppercut from before. The DAN FINISHER Special. "KEN!" Balls in the ninja's court now.
COMBATSYS: Hokutomaru counters Hisshou Burai Ken from Dan with Rakka-zan.
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Hokutomaru 0/-------/------=|=======\-------\0 Dan
Paff! Paff! Paff! But the stick slides off and is deflected. Though Dan may be mighty, and Saikyo strong, they're cheering for him! It only insures that he'll have to give it /everything/ he's got! And he sure does! His feet hit the ground, but the stick strike was a /set up/. A trick for Dan to set off!
The wide grin hides his mischief! "Okay, I've got the perfect idea!"
His head bobs up and down as the first fist slips out, smacking towards Hokutomaru. Such blurred speed, such amazing form - and that uppercut! But Dan might notice around the tenth that it suddenly became like someone lit his dojo on fire!? A bloud of smoke just randomly appears before Dan, and his strikes clear it!
But not before a spinning, tornado like eruption of wind and ninja boy billow out towards Dan, making that spinning uppercut /that much more spinny/. As he spirals past Dan, Hokutomaru comes to land against the mat.
"So I followed your advice... I did both at the same time!" Dan is the most amazing teacher.
Lying on the ground, and coughing out a puff of smoke, Dan rests his hand on his chest and stares up at the studio lighting they installed to make everyone look good, and almost realizes he's a little out of his league. He widens an eye and thinks for a half a second before he springs into a sitting position, "YES! A CHILD PRODIGY IN THE SAIKYO ARTS! You see how well you can adapt to this style of simplicity your own techniques? This boy understands." He points at Camera B, "....DO YOU?"
This time, Camera B is actually the right one! Good job, Dan! After this prostelyzing he stands and looks back at Hokutomaru. It's still technically an SNF, people do come for the show, "You there, Ninja boy! You are nearly a master in the art, but you are special. Show the public how to defeat your opponent, but do it SAIKYO STYLE!"
As he calls out, he puts his arms up in mock-defense, and waits. Is he planning on biting it, or does he have some kind of trick up his ripped off sleeves? Only Dan knows the mind of Dan!
COMBATSYS: Dan takes no action.
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Hokutomaru 0/-------/------=|=======\-------\0 Dan
"With Saikyo style?!" Perhaps Hokutomaru will manage to figure out a hybrid ninja Saikyo style - after all, Andy was teaching him, he learned from Mai - and now the master, Dan! The ninja boy was set to become something - but only time would tell what it would be!
Oh, and ratings.
"It's Hokutomaru! And I'll do it just as you say!" A thumbs up, a grin, a posturing thumbs up while grinning and smiling at the camera... and then POOF! He appears behind Dan, a burning aura of chi with his strikes as - he poofs again!? To the side of Dan! Another swing, which .. doesn't make it! POOF! He appears above Dan! Swi-POOF! All about Dan, he appears and re-appears... until he simply comes straight forwards!
"Head on, with as much force, strength, and style! Karakusa-GIRI!"
The stick whips forwards, swung over and over, glowing brightly, as Hokutomaru intends to just keep on swinging, whipping it around over and over like he was swinging for the fences - and at one point, at the end, swings so hard, he loses control! And then .... THUMP!
'Finishes' his assault, on his rear!
COMBATSYS: Dan endures Hokutomaru's Karakusa-Giri.
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Hokutomaru 0/-------/----===|=======\====---\1 Dan
Dan's eyes widen considerably as clouds of smoke and dark arts go off all around him like so many pyrotechnics (which is probably what they are, not dark arts. Geeze, Dan,) that his eyes can't follow. Suddenly he feels the sting of wood and yowls out, "WHOA!!!!"
Dan begins reeling, staggering, and swaying, before finally the master, the myth, the legendary man who taunted through shurikens undauntedly. He falls forward, toppling onto the mats. Either he's sold his school fairly well or has just made an embarassment of himself. Either way, the kid's won. It's just a matter of.... whether or not Dan is still cool in his own eyes...
Survey says.....
COMBATSYS: Dan takes no action.
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Hokutomaru 0/-------/----===|=======\====---\1 Dan
COMBATSYS: Dan has reached second wind!
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Hokutomaru 0/-------/----===|=======\====---\1 Dan
From the ground, Dan's thumb rises shakily, "........Hey, good job kid. You did it! You are at the very least, a blue belt Saikyo kid. THIS FIGHT... IS OVER!!"
Did he .. did he take out Dan!?
Has the student already usurped the master?! Hokutomaru, exhausted and on his rear looks at Dan, who reels and staggers - and then topples. Hokutomaru looks on. Shocked. Bewildered! Pumped! Exhausted, still! But what will become of Dan? has he been firmly planted on his mats - or....
A THUMBS UP.
Hokutomaru falls onto his own back, returning the thumbs up. He's exhausted - because not only can Dan give a good punch, he can take it as well! It took every ounce of ninja/monkey magic to down the legendary Dan! Who knows exactly how much it would ... in the future!
"Wow... a blue belt!" He'll wear it /always/.
While Hokutomaru completed the training, with Dan - everyone wins.
COMBATSYS: Dan has left the fight here.
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Hokutomaru 0/-------/----===|
COMBATSYS: Hokutomaru has ended the fight here.
Log created on 23:06:04 11/16/2010 by Hokutomaru, and last modified on 11:46:37 12/02/2010.