Description: So a necromancer, a zombie, and a hideous abomination of science walk into a bar. And the bartender, he says, "Ahhhh! Please don't kill me!" Except it's actually a graveyard, not a bar. And there's no bartender, unless there's one buried there somewhere. So he'd already be dead. And the three dark beings all try to beat the hell out of one another. Also featuring some great music and dance choreography. (Winner: Rust)
As the clock tolls midnight, the full moon shines down on a lonely graveyard. For a time, nothing happens. Then, a soft scratching sound. Was it just your imagination? A trick of the wind? But no, there it is again. And it's louder this time. And louder... suddenly, a grey hand bursts through the soil of one of the graves, a frayed red sleeve hanging down from it. And then a figure pulls himself out of the soil, shedding dirt as more of his body comes free.
The figure lurches out of the grave, standing up straight in the shadows. After a few moments it shambles forward, coming in to the moonlight and revealing itself to be the decaying husk of phys ed teacher Hayato Nekketsu. Not even death is enough to keep his Burning Spirit down, it seems.
After a few moments, the reason for Hayato's reawakening becomes clear: deeper in the graveyard, but fast approaching, a thumping bass line can be heard. It's old, but compelling, and somehow, for the zombie Hayato, terribly... compelling...
A few seconds later, Cody Travers marches out of the mist, wearing a red and blackleather jacket, a black undershirt, and red pants. Every few steps, his head tilts sharply to the right, and his right shoulder shoots upwards. Given that this is a graveyard, and it is late as shit, this is already kind of weird.
The fact that Cody is followed by a small legion of the walking dead, all walking and twitching in perfect unison with him, pushes it into downright surreal.
The entire procession marches right up to the shambling Hayato, and then, as one, they stop... and begin to dance.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sOnqjkJTMaA#t=8m34s
Sure, it's one thing to be... getting old, forgettable, not getting anywhere in life. It's another thing to check the wrong box on a shady medical insurance form and take a visit to some lonely scientist even NESTS couldn't bear to keep on their payroll.
For a human being goes through many phases of their life, it is not merely enough to take the freshest, most compatible body parts and stitch them together in a patchwork quilt that is but a humorless parody of life (...and quilts). No. To be truly alive, one must have a deep understanding of the one last true impetus, that one final spark of youth before it is all extinguished in the face of old age.
The mid-life crisis. He was the perfect host for the latest Frankenstein-ish monster! But yet, his combover was much too hideous for the scientist and thus the shambling mish-mash of human parts is sent off into the wild to... do the things wild shambling mish-mashes of human parts are prone to do.
For he is blue (under a blue moon), and doesn't know where to go, but that there walking dead seems to be where fashion sits! Or... shambles...
...gotta find him some ritz.
Hayato dances along with the other zombies, using excellent choreography, for a while, but eventually his dead brain starts slowly functioning again. And sure, there's that deep hunger for brains, but it's insignifcant next to another thought: How come Cody gets to be the one in charge?
Hayato's Burning Spirit isn't going to let him just be a simple member of a shambling horde (or a backup dancer). No, if he's going to be any kind of hideous undead monster, he's going to be the kind that's leading things! And so as his dance takes him past a tombstone, Hayato wrenches the heavy marble slab out of the dirt. And slowly shifts his way through the dancers, until he's dancing right behind Cody... and brings the tombstone swinging down toward his skull.
COMBATSYS: Hayato has started a fight here.
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Hayato 0/-------/-------|
COMBATSYS: Rust has joined the fight here.
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Hayato 0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0 Rust
COMBATSYS: Cody has joined the fight here in the center.
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Hayato 0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0 Rust
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Cody 0|-------|------=
COMBATSYS: Cody endures Hayato's Large Random Weapon.
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Hayato 0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0 Rust
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Cody 0|-------|---====
As Cody dances, he keeps his eyes peeled; he may look focused on the dance, but in truth he is watching the slowly growing number of shambling undead for the appearance of the man he has come here to summon back to the world of the living. For, indeed, it is only through his dark sorcery that the dead walk again, this night, and only through his inexperience that more than one does.
But unleashing a horde of undead is a risk he has to take, for without that man's help, he'll never be able to clear his name...
SOME TIME AGO
Cody is beating the shit out of David Carradine. It is hella brutal. Faces are slammed through marble kitchen islands, holes are punched in walls, craters are punched in pillars, it's just, it's just crazy. At one point, someone is stabbed.
Eventually, however, Cody prevails; he hauls a beaten David Carradine into the air by his throat, carries him over to a plate glass window, and throws him through it in slow motion.
Unfortunately for Cody, this is a house in the hills, and not a penthouse apartment; David Carradine falls like four feet, lands on a hillside, and begins to fall downhill, screaming. HE continues to fall - and scream - for about two minutes.
At one point, he passes Andy Samberg, who is also falling downhill and screaming.
SOME TIME AGO
"I hear he'd been working for the government," J.K. Simmons is telling Danny Trejo, frowning with obvious concern. "MAybe it was a political killing?"
"Maybe someone's picking off character actors," Danny Trejo responds bluntly.
NOW
Cody is so intent on watching for his target that he doesn't even sort of see the tombstone coming... but when it strikes his head, it merely snaps in half, spraying rock dust into the air. Cody might not have seen it coming, but he was prepared for this... in a sense.
Immediately, Cody whirls on Hayato and shouts, "GOD DAMMIT, DANNY, I DIDN'T KILL YOUR FUCKING FRIEND!" Talking, of course, has never managed to stop Danny Trejo at any point in recorded history, so rather than attempt to make peace, Cody hauls off and smashes his forehead into Zombie Hayato's zombie face.
Zombie territorial disputes are the sorts of things you want to resolve naturally amongst one another. In the Great Zombie Attack of '58, it was thusly decided that the Tank would stop making fun of the Charger for their teeny tiny itsy bitsy left arm and all was well in the south from those decades on. The whole 'zombie outbreak' thing aside, anyway.
"Brgh?" The latest of the line of Frankenstein-inspired monsters (we'll say Rustenstein for sake of convenience) grunts at the zombie mosh festival between a tombstone-bearing corpse and a cadaver who clearly did not kill Danny's friend. There is dancing going on.
He wants in, for he is still a young thing and has it.
Unfortunately, he has two left feet (very literally). His shuffles are no better than jerky early-era stop-motion movement, the moves are so old as to be mocked, and ultimately there is a distinct lack of any ritz to put on.
"Gnh? Gnh?" He turns to face the zombie hordes and horrors for their approval.
COMBATSYS: Rust takes no action.
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Hayato 0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0 Rust
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Cody 0|-------|---====
COMBATSYS: Hayato fails to interrupt Fierce Strike from Cody with Fierce Strike.
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Hayato 0/-------/-----==|-------\-------\0 Rust
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Cody 0|-------|---====
When Hayato sees Cody's head flying right toward him, zombie instincts take over. He opens his mouth wide and attempts to take a big bite out of Cody's skull, in order to get at the juicy brainmeats within. This is not a particularly good idea, but one shouldn't expect great thinking from a zombie. Cody's skull collides with Hayato's mouth, knocking out a few teeth... and snapping Hayato's neck. Rotten flesh can't hold under the stress, and the Burning Phys Ed Teacher's head flies off his neck, thumping to the ground and rolling for a short distance.
Hayato's body wobbles for a few moments... but Hayato is a /magically/ raised zombie, so losing his head is apparently not that big a deal. He gropes blindly with both hands for a moment, then turns and begins stumbling toward the spot where his head came to a stop.
"Wait-- you're not Danny Trejo!" Cody cries in dismay, as Zombie Hayato scrambles for his severed head. Well, doesn't he just feel silly now? To think he decapitated one of his own zombies, just because it hit him with a tombstone or something.
... wait, it hit him with a tombstone or something! "How dare you strike me, zombie?!" Cody cries, thrusting his hands out towards Zombie Hayato, his fingers splayed open. "I AM YOUR MASTER! OBEY ME!" Black lightning crackles across Cody's raised hands as he channels his eldritch power into a concentratedattempt to control Hayato to do his bidding.
Meanwhile, behind Cody, the redistribution of his powers - and his cessation of dancing - weakens his hold on the other zombies. One by one, they revert to their natural instincts... which, at the moment, involves turning on Rustenstein en masse.
After a few moments of staring and moaning, they all lunge for the Frankenstein's monster and attempt to tear him apart, because, seriously, Frankenstein's Monsters are like Neapolitan ice cream for zombies.
COMBATSYS: Rust endures Cody's Savage Combo.
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Hayato 0/-------/-----==|===----\-------\0 Rust
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Cody 0|-------|--=====
The Rustenstein's monster is swarmed under the horde of undead things that are totally singlebodied against the multibodied! It is racism in the undead world! It is a sad thing undead society shall never rise past at this rate without some forward... thinkers? Wait, thinking as a zombie? Maybe one expects too much of them.
"Grntghghgble!" The Rustenstein Monster shudders under precious necrotic flesh being ripped free from every clawing hand, every gnashing tooth. It is a bloody feast.
It stops being a bloody feast when there's a loud, guttural cry as the angry old man parts muster up enough 'shit' to want to do something about these old dead things disrespecting their technically living shambling horrors, sending a great portion of the horde stumbling or flying back.
One flies towards the undead Hayato. Perhaps he can borrow a head from them, if he can't pick his up.
COMBATSYS: Hayato endures Rust's Large Thrown Object.
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Hayato 0/-------/---====|====---\-------\0 Rust
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Cody 0|-------|--=====
Hayato eventually finds his head, picking it up and then jamming it down hard enough to lodge bits of spinal cord into flesh. There, that should hold it for a bit. Unfortunately, he put it on backwards, so there's some unpleasant noises for a moment as he wrenches his head around to face in the proper direction. But now he's got other problems. His body jerks as Cody's dark necromantic magic begins to take hold. What little brain function he has left begins to fade...
And then another zombie smacks into him. By luck, the position ends up with the other zombie getting blasted with Cody's mojo, and Hayato regains his free will. And he's pissed. He lurches toward Cody, pushing the other zombie in front of him until he gets close enough to shove the other undead aside and make a spirited attempt at eating Cody's face.
COMBATSYS: Cody endures Hayato's Fierce Strike.
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Hayato 0/-------/---====|====---\-------\0 Rust
[ |||||||||||||||||||||| ]
Cody 0|-------|=======
Cody curses in irritation when his sorcerous might falls upon another zombie - Zombie Dr. Tran, judging from the looks of him - and not Zombie Hayato. That is to say, he literally casts a curse into the world, basically at random. Somewhere, Angel becomes an A cup, and begins to sob uncontrollably.
Cody, meanwhile, silently wishes he hadn't wasted his window of opportunity to curse someone at random, because Hayato bites his face off. Like, literally, the entire thing is gone, leaving only a stark white skull face underneath. Instantly, Cody begins screaming; he falls to the ground, clutching at where his face used to be, and thrashes back and forth, shrieking in pain.
"MY FUCKING FACE, DUDE!" he sobs. "YOU BIT OFF MY FUCKING FACE! OH, JESUS! OH, FUCK! MY FUCKING FACE!!"
He keeps thrashing in this manner for quite a while.
COMBATSYS: Cody takes no action.
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Hayato 0/-------/---====|====---\-------\0 Rust
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Cody 0|-------|=======
The shambling, bloodied mass (that is probably missing some young healthy kidneys now) of stitched together body parts grumbles incoherently as they wade through the stream of angry zombies that want nothing to do with this sort of undead /thing/ intruding on their favorite haunt.
ZOMBEEZ ONLY KEEP OUT (brainz wilcoem!!)
There is a zombie munching off some guy's face. Some guy with an uncanny grasp of living actual-person language! The horror among horrors that comes second only to its awful combover stumbles along towards the two of them. It's already loud and rowdy enough with these younger(?) zombie thugs running around making his kinda-sorta unlife hell and what he wants is peace and quiet and maybe also to be accepted socially among the ranks of the undead!
So he rips a face off of a nearby zombie and tries to plaster it (...upside-down) on Cody's white skull face.
Hayato chews happily on Cody's face for a while, while Cody rolls on the ground screaming. It takes a while, but eventually he swallows. So good luck getting that back. But once that undead urge is taken care of, thoughts start coming back. And sure, Cody doesn't have a face, but he doesn't need one to dance or to waggle his fingers and make with the voodoo, does he? So Hayato's job isn't done yet. But... it looks like someone else is trying to beat him to it! And even if Hayato and Rust had the same goal, the concept of an 'ally' isn't one that's making it through Hayato's rotting brain.
And so Rust is an obstacle. An obstacle which Hayato attempts to bust through. Muscle memory allows him to throw a punch, and undead strength makes it powerful enough for him to attempt to punch right /into/ Rust, then grab around and yank out some organs. But hey, Rust probably has plenty of spares.
COMBATSYS: Cody endures Rust's Small Random Weapon.
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Hayato 0/-------/---====|====---\-------\0 Rust
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Cody 1|------=|=======
When Rustenstein slaps a zombie's face onto his barren skull craw, Cody instantly stops creaming, because now instead of having a mouth - even a skeletal mouth - he has eyes, thanks to his newfound upside down zombie face. It takes him several more seconds to stop thrashing, when he finally consciously realizes he has a face again.
Instantly, terror grips Cody; not again, not again, /this can't be happening again!!/ NOT AFTER SO MANY SURGERIES!!
SOME TIME AGO
A young Cody Travers is sitting next to his father, Tom Tucker, in the waiting room of a doctor's office. His face is upside down.
After a few minutes of waiting in silence, a doctor comes out and hands Tom a price estimate for Cody's surgeries. He blanches, and begins to stammer something about not being able to afford it, which causes Cody to begin to cry drool.
Tom Tucker swears, then and there, that he will do anything to pay for his boy's surgery. Two months later, he ends up selling his own wife to afford it.
NOW
Terror is replaced by rage. Upside Down Face Cody surges suddenly to his feet, and then bends down and grabs his own shin firmly in both hands. Muscles trembling with the effort, sweat pouring out from underneath his red leather Thriller jacket, Cody hauls himself off the ground and begins to viciously beat Rustenstein.
With himself.
COMBATSYS: Rust endures Cody's Random Weapon!.
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Hayato 0/-------/---====|=======\=------\1 Rust
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Cody 0|-------|------=
COMBATSYS: Rust fails to interrupt Power Punch from Hayato with Medium Throw.
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Hayato 0/-------/-======|=======\====---\1 Rust
[ ||||||||||||||||||| ]
Cody 0|-------|------=
All is hereby right with the world, when that thrashing guy with no face finally has an upside-down face and now he can get back to whatever it is randomly stapled together pieces of flesh do when they aren't being gnawed on by angry hungry zombies with their delicate senses of beauty being utterly violated by the sheer presence of, well, hismelf.
Then, through the corner of a barely functioning eye, he sees a most familiar sight. Fellow educator and post-human monster in arms, Hayato, whom he raises a friendly poorly-animated stop-motion arm that once belonged to a lithe woman. "Hrrnght! Hmthht." He mutters in an ill-conceived attempt to garner some conversation between the two of them, gesticulating wildly with no real apparent purpose. "Hr hrmghthr, brhght. Hgnhgh... hn?"
Cody starts viciously beating on the Rustenstein with himself, showing how much of his human self he has retained even beyond the veil of death. Bones crack. Flesh explodes messily. It's an absolute bloodbath of a dead /thing/-to-be being mercilessly beaten to a pulp, that he... somehow, just doesn't notice, even as he loses one of his shoulder bones and maybe even a part of (one of) his spine(s) to a vicious random zombie weapon that is his own zombie body, that is Cody's, not his.
"Hmmtht ht hrrr--" Rustenstein holds out a hand to initiate a friendly handshake. Hayato's hand never meets it, instead ripping its way inside his body and taking for itself an extra lung and maybe even a free appendix with it (what sort of mad science do you /do/ with a stupid appendix, let alone one in the wrong place).
"Hrnrngh." The Rustenstein sinks, dejected, scratching the side of its head.
Hayato's only response to Rust's groaned entreaties is a loud, drawn out zombie moan. That, and the whole organ removal thing. And once again he briefly forgets his plans to snack on the (relatively) fresh lung in his hand. Nom nom nom. And after he eats, Rust is no longer attacking Cody, so Hayato's brain falls back on the rather simple instructions it has set for itself. And so he turns his attention back to Cody.
Once more the zombie lunges toward the (necrom/da)ncer, reaching out with both grey hands in an attempt to hold him still long enough for Hayato to get a good bite in. And hey, it looks like Cody's got a new face. And zombies are, if nothing else, very good at sticking with one particular approach to problems. And so Hayato attempts to eat Cody's face a second time.
COMBATSYS: Hayato successfully hits Cody with Fierce Strike.
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Hayato 0/-------/=======|=======\====---\1 Rust
[ |||||||||||||||| ]
Cody 0|-------|----===
Once he finishes beating Rustenstein with himself, Cody makes the mistake of spiking himself to the ground so he can do an endzone dance. Unfortunately, in spiking himself, he sort of dazes himself, and in doing so totally ruins his ability to actually do the endzone dance at all.
He also makes it extremely easy for Zombie Hayato to bite off his face for the second time of the night.
This time, however, rather than scream and thrash, Cody suddenly lets out a cry of exultation and leaps to his feet again, lunging at Zombie Hayato, so that he might...
... wrap him up in a rib-crushing embrace. "THANK YOU," he cries, sandfalls pouring out of his eyes, because someone without a face can't cry water, that'd just be stupid. "THANK YOU SO MUCH! I WAS SO SCARED I'D HAVE AN UPSIDE DOWN FACE AGAIN FOREVER!"
Meanwhile, where there are matters of manhugs and maneating, poor Rustenstein over there is currently bleeding to death but has too many confused nerves unable to determine if he is in actually anything approaching pain even as he scratches his back to relieve one of those itchy little stitch laces. They itch so bad. The arthritis was bad but this here is even worse.
Being a fleshy horror itches. "Hnrghble?" He raises his one good arm towards Hayato's back. "Yghthn. Hrngrble." It's polite scratching. Maybe too much polite scratching. This hand has long girly nails.
COMBATSYS: Hayato endures Rust's Random Strike.
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Hayato 1/-------/=======|=======\====---\1 Rust
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Cody 0|-------|----===
COMBATSYS: Hayato fails to counter Strong Throw from Cody with Counter Thrust.
-* CRITICAL FAIL! *-
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Hayato 1/---====/=======|=======\====---\1 Rust
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Cody 0|-------|---====
Having the flesh of his back shredded doesn't really bother Hayato all that much in his current state, so he doesn't really pay too much attention to Rust scratching him up. He can't help but notice Cody squeezing him tightly, though, since he finds himself unable to move. However, now he's so close to Cody's sweet, delicious brain. He can /smell/ it. Having his torso squeezed isn't actually all that big a deal... he's a zombie. A few broken ribs, a collapsed lung maybe... so what? It's worth it to be right up close to Cody, so he can try to chew right through his skull.
Unfortunately, this doesn't take into account Cody's strength. Because he keeps squeezing. And squeezing. And then Hayato's head pops off again, forced aside as most of his internal organs got squeezed up and out through his neck thanks to all of the pressure Cody's putting on him. Eventually Hayato's body flops over like an empty tube of toothpaste with flailing arms and legs, while his head rolls around gnashing teeth at anything close by.
When Zombie Hayato's insides spray out like he was a party favor, his ekeleton face somehow manages to look horrified, and he releases the zombie teacher in a hurry, taking a sudden step back from the emptied husk. After a beat, he lifts his gaze to Rustenstein, and his skeleton face - again somehow - contorts into a mask of rage.
"LOOK WHAT YOU DID!" Cody roars, thrusting a finger at the monster accusingly. "HE WAS MY SAVIOR! HE WAS... HE WAS MY ONLY FRIEND! I'LL... I'LL..."
Cody throws his hands out to either side, and purple smoke begins swirling around him; his voice gains a majestic reverb, and he cries,
"Beluga, sevruga,
come winds of the Caspian Sea!
Larengix, glaucitis,
et max laryngitis,
la voce to MEEE!!"
It is all very impressive. Right up until it doesn't actually do anything.
Cody stands there, enveloped in smoke, and takes the opportunity to look sort of sheepish and uncomfortable.
COMBATSYS: Cody takes no action.
[ \\\\\\\\\\\ < > /////////// ]
Hayato 1/---====/=======|=======\====---\1 Rust
[ |||||||||||||||| ]
Cody 0|-------|---====
Being in close proximity to Hayato means he, of course, gets showered in blood and guts and all sorts of great things that the American release will probably censor out entirely, thus ruining the entire joke in a long pause with no filler to explain why the uncomfortable moment of silence among those who should be eternally silent.
"Whrt hrhght hjn trf?!" He places his one good hand against his own palm in protest, as if in surprise that he's to blame for any of that. He waves that arm back towards Cody while the purple smoke rises.
"Hrgnght!! Plspdghsah. Gsdhg, ghsghdgk!! Whgh.... ghhgkr, bgbdgsl." The tone gets even louder, even more defiant, when Cody starts chanting. A foot slams into the earth, kicking up a whole lot of dust for dramatic effect. "DGGHGH!! Ppghghgtf. Jl..."
Something ends up near his foot. He's not aware it's probably Hayato's head. He gives it a punt.
COMBATSYS: Hayato fails to interrupt Light Kick from Rust with Devastation Kick.
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Hayato 1/-----==/=======|=======\====---\1 Rust
[ |||||||||||||||| ]
Cody 0|-------|---====
When you're just a disembodied head, you have a limited number of approaches to dealing with things. Especially when you aren't even capable of speaking. So when something comes toward you (in this case, a foot) you make do with what you have. I.e., you bite it. Hayato's jaw opens wide, preparing for a bite that would snap off a good sized portion of Rust's foot. Unfortunately, this really requires Rust to be kicking toes first. Otherwise you'd just wind up with- *THUD*
Hayato's head goes sailing through the air, spinning about as it flies over Cody, bounces off of a tombstone, then hits the ground and rolls a bit further before finally coming to a rest once more.
"No, wait, hold on, I can- I got this," Cody assures Rustenstein, digging through the pockets of his outfit as if looking for something as the monster busies himself with Hayato's disembodied head. He lets out a squawk and ducks underneath the head when it goes flying over him, and then goes right back to digging through his pockets. Keys, wallet, cell phone, frag grenade...
"Okay... okay, yeah, it's not here," Cody confesses after a few awkward seconds, holding up his assortment of pocket junk. "Maybe it's back in my car, let me just--"
Whatever he was going to say is suddenly interrupted when he yanks the pin out of the grenade and throws it violently to the ground at Rustenstein's feet. "WILDCARD, BITCHES!!" he screams frantically. "YEEEEEHAAAW!!"
As he lets forth the yeehaw, he turns and dives behind a tombstone; as it so happens, he hits the ground next to Hayato.
There is an explosion.
COMBATSYS: Rust Toughs Out Cody's Huge Thrown Object!
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Hayato 1/-----==/=======|=======\=======\1 Rust
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Cody 0|-------|--=====
"Hrn?" The Rustenstein monster tilts its head so far that one of its many necks snaps clean. Drool comes out of the side of his mouth. Then there is a grenade tossed on the muddy ground, which the fleshy monster picks up and observes. It kind of looks like a pineapple. He hasn't had a pineapple in a while. He misses putting them on some of his barbecue stuff.
He shrugs, chews on it, and swallows it. He pays absolutely no mind to the amount of innards and other such bodily fluids that suddenly escape in the goriest, messiest hole yet seen both out his front and back mere moments later. Now he is the Donutstein monster.
Due to a lack of an effective stomach at this point, he can't help but feel even hungrier. He follows towards the tombstone - a pretty large one - leaning upon it down over near Hayato and the cowering Cody.
"Hrngh ghrthr?" He asks in earnest. At least, until the tombstone cracks and threatens to smush poor Cody down there. Even in apparent un-death (or un-life or whatever, what is this thing), Mr. Rust could never get rid of that spare tire.
Fuck the grenade diet, it's a scam.
Hayato's options are a bit limited at the moment, but hey, Cody was nice enough to go and land right next to him. So, yeah. He bites down really hard on any bits of Cody that come within range of his teeth, and doesn't worry too much about the tombstone falling down. As a head he's pretty small, so Cody has much more to worry about in the being crushed department.
COMBATSYS: Cody endures Rust's Large Random Weapon.
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Hayato 1/-----==/=======|=======\=======\1 Rust
[ |||||||||||| ]
Cody 0|-------|=======
COMBATSYS: Hayato successfully hits Cody with Fierce Strike.
-* WILD HIT! *-
[ \\\\\\\\\ < > //////// ]
Hayato 1/----===/=======|=======\=======\1 Rust
[ |||||| ]
Cody 1|----===|=======
Even though the explosion is muffled by being inside of Rustenstein, Cody is sure, one hundred percent sure, that the monster is done for when it goes off, and he dusts his hands off and begins to clamber to his feet. A job well done!
Or maybe not. Cody lets out a startled cry when the tombstone he was taking cover behind suddenly collapses onto him, breaking across his back and driving him back down to the ground. His hands splay out in his surprise, and one of them gets close enough to Zombie Hayato Head to let the increasingly mangled gym teacher bite down on it.
This elicits yet further shrieking; Cody begins waving his hand wildly back and forth, smashing Zombie Hayato Head against everything he can think to do so to; the ground, the tombstone remains, another, nearby tombstone, Rustenstein, the ground again, a bush...
COMBATSYS: Cody has reached second wind!
[ \\\\\\\\\ < > //////// ]
Hayato 1/----===/=======|=======\=======\1 Rust
[ |||||||| ]
Cody 0|-------|-------
Eventually, Cody's panic reaches such a high point that he grabs his own wrist, tears his hand off, and flings it tom the ground at Rustenstein's feet, Zombie Hayato HEad and all.
Several seconds latr, he realizes he just tore his hand off, and lifts the bloody stump to his face. He gapes for a moment, and then screams.
After another moment of silence, he moves his gaze to Rustenstein, holds out the bleeding stump, and screams again.
COMBATSYS: Hayato endures Cody's Final Destruction.
[ \\\ < > //////// ]
Hayato 1/-======/=======|=======\=======\1 Rust
[ |||||||| ]
Cody 0|-------|-------
Hayato's head has several large dents in it now, after being smashed repeatedly against various things. He gnaws happily on Cody's hand regardless of being smacked around, however, until finally the hand is torn free and Hayato's head is once more sent bouncing across the ground. Oh no. How will he finally get his revenge (which he doesn't even remember the reason for) against Cody now!? No! Hayato's Burning Spirit will not be denied! His eyes begin to blaze with orange light.
Still clutching Cody's hand between his teeth, Hayato's head rises up into the air, sending waves of orange energy radiating off in all directions. It swivels around to face Cody, eyes glowing even brighter. And then with a sudden blinding flare... the energy turns out to be too much for just a head, and Hayato's skull explodes in a rain of blood, brain and bits of bone. But at the same time Cody's fist gets launched out, blazing with orange chi, as with Hayato's last bit of spirit he punches Cody in the face with his own hand.
COMBATSYS: Hayato can no longer fight.
[ \\\\\\\\ <
Rust 1/=======/=======|
[ |||||||| ]
Cody 0|-------|-------
There is nothing cooler - no, nothing HOTTER - than the amazing Burning Vigor of orange chi that washes out from Hayato's head like some kind of futuristic head rocket. More importantly, Cody has a grand lack of a hand, which startles Donutstein significantly more than the fact that he presently HAS NO STOMACH like, at all, it's some kind of muddy pool of vaporized bio-goo or some such, whatever they put in shambling monsters nowadays. For all anybody knows he's not running on blood but strawberry donut filling. Which may be why zombies are so happily lapping it up.
The Donutstein monster holds up a wooden stake that may hereby be known as Ol' Dusty as if to offer a substitute arm or something, but no, what happens here is too beautiful for even a forsaken creature. The hot blood. It burns. It burns so bright, it brings warmth to all those who behold it. For Hayato Nekketsu's burning spirit shall never be forgotten, even in death. Sokaku will have a hell of a time containing the raw burning power from escaping the world of the dead.
The Donutstein merely sheds a tear at this beauty leaving this world. Said tear continues on a warpath through the earth, the acidic tear turning worms and maggots into bubbling goo and otherwise salting this tiny inch of real estate forever.
COMBATSYS: Rust takes no action.
[ \\\\\\\\ <
Rust 1/=======/=======|
[ |||||||| ]
Cody 0|-------|-------
COMBATSYS: Cody endures Hayato's Burning Cross Counter.
*KNOCKED AWAY*
[ \\\\\\\\ <
Rust 1/=======/=======|
[ ]
Cody 1|-------|=======
Cody is still screaming when his own fist, enshrouded in orange chi, crashes into his face. There is a deafening *KREEEEEEEEENG*, a brief second of total stillness, and then Cody goes flying backwards and upwards into the air at, roughly, twenty thousand miles an hour.
This causes a sonic boom large enough to explode every zombie - and every tombstone - in the graveyard into gore. Yes, the tombstones also explode into gore, as in, like, flesh and blood giblets, even though they're stone.
Trust me, it makes sense.
As Cody climbs further and further into the air, he screamas, "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-"
*ting* Cody becomes nothing but a tiny, tiny glimmer in the sky, one star amongst a billion billion others.
COMBATSYS: Cody takes no action.
[ \\\\\\\\ <
Rust 1/=======/=======|
COMBATSYS: Cody can no longer fight.
[ \\\\\\\\ <
Rust 1/=======/=======|
All is silent on this hill, a fine red misty fog from the goresplosion as the great burning spirit Hayato Nekketsu leaves the mortal coil and the great drug-addled necromancer Cody Travers blasts off into the stars. The thrill of the moonlit night will soon end.
Somehow, the Donutstein monster manages to stand, a silhouette among the red low-hanging clouds of gore as it wanders lonely. The vile science that gave rise to this creature (...I'm talking about whatever shampoo Mr. Rust there used for that combover, whatever the scientist guy did is probably benign in comparison) mutters in silence and loneliness.
Everyone's gone. He has no friends left, somehow still 'alive' for a given value of it thanks to all sorts of extra organs and failsafe systems even with the total lack of any stomach to digest with.
"Ghghsbrnhr." A sad sigh echoes from the patchwork creature.
In the distance, a bright green trail of goo follows a high shriek.
"Mrh?" The creature without a stomach displays its powerful Malton accent, the call of all zombie beggars for universal love and care by harmanz.
The shriek is echoed. Something moves, a foul trail of green following it.
The Donutstein monster and this figure run towards one another in slow-mo music, peaceful music playing through the fields of vaporized innards and disgusting, thick blood. The scent of death. But yet, peace could be found at last in the wake of the magical night of battle beyond the grave?!
A tall woman with pigtails, a half-melted face, and a large belly with a green stream coming out their mouth squeals in delight.
"Gheghghgbl!" The Donutstein monster says as the two embrace one another. His face melts as the two lock faces (possibly trying to really eat one another) before they both walk off into the sunrise.
COMBATSYS: Rust has ended the fight here.
Log created on 20:34:58 05/23/2010 by Hayato, and last modified on 14:42:25 05/28/2010.